Another May is done.

I was doing pretty good the last few months. I averaged more than one blog post per day. But it seems I fell short in May. Now I could go blaming it on being away for a week. I could blame it on the passing of my grandmother, bless her. But no. That would be passing the e-buck. And the e-buck stops here.

Actually almost eleven e-bucks have stopped here thanks to Google ads. I'd be more excited if that would pay for my comic book for a week.

So, what's on my mind as I get ready for June?

I need to write more and be more productive. May was a sink hole as far as getting stuff done. Yeah, I banged out a full comic script in record time, but I haven't updated Tales of Night Life in I don't even want to know how long.

The weather is now unpleasantly hot on a daily basis and the bugs are starting to come out. I'm looking into putting up a bat box. Let them eat the little buzzing bastards.

Speaking of Buzz. I've got the June Google Buzz Tourney ready to roll for this weekend. There's going to be more rounds and competitors this time around. Should be fun. This month's topic: Release the Hounds.

Saw the new Scott Pilgrim movie trailer today. Yeah. i'm officially completely out, and if I do go see it its for the expressed purpose of roadhauling that thing on the information superhighway.

Ultimately I'm feeling tired and a bit overwhelmed right now. The only cure for this of course is the kicking of ass and taking of names.



We've reached a point where its starting to just go too far. Technology is a wonderful thing. It enriches lives daily in both useful and entertaining ways. However there is a tipping point when technology becomes more of a pain in the ass than it's worth. The point of technology is to make things easier. Like a calculator, instead of having to write out complex problems and break out a slide rule and possibly an abacus, a person can punch in numbers, hit a few buttons and do complex mathematics. That doesn't excuse them from not being able to math themselves without a calculator. If your life comes to a screeching halt because of a power outage then you may have a problem.

I chatted about this briefly the other night and smart phones came up. Smart phones are on the verge of overtech. The reason why they are not is that there are people who make good use of the devices and it allows them to conduct business more efficiently more genuinely make life easier. I had one briefly and was able to get directions on it for someplace I needed to get to. It still maintains a technological tool status, but to many they are just a cool toy.

I've gone off about Blu-Ray Players at length. This is pure overtech. It gives more visual output than your eyes can that in properly. That and that degree of visual output is not necessary to watch a movie. Add in the need for downloads for it to function properly and it just gets stupid. If your movie playing machine cannot play the disks its supposed to be able to play without having to go online to "figure out" how to do it, then it's bad tech. The disks have too much information on them. It's just a movie. We used to watch them one clunky plastic cassettes. This should a be a simple process. DVDs are about as far as this technology needed to get for the purpose of watching stuff on television.

This brings us to the ultimate in overtech: augmented reality. This is just stupid. Its a toy and nothing more. The only practical application is to victims of memory problems who need help remembering things. Way too much clutter in the visual field. The really scary thing is that one of the pictures used as an example of augmented reality is on a car windshield. Someone driving with a info dump in their face distracting them cluttering their field of vision. That is a carwreck in the waiting. I can guarantee that if this tech goes into people's vehicles that people will die. This is far beyond kids not being able to do math because they depend on machines, this is a straight up safety concern.

Look, I know there are engineers out there who will not rest until life resembles Star Trek and instead of watching TV, we watch 3D holograms standing in the living room. And I'm sure after that they'll try to figure out contact lenses that can give you pertinent information about everything you look at. But hold the smart phone before you get drooly thinking how cool that would be. We don't need these things. If as much intellectual candlepower went into figuring out alternative energy sources as they do figuring out the next gadget that improves things that really don't need improving, then I would have to hear environmentalist hippie losers bitch and moan at length about oil and carbon emissions.

Toys are fine. Expensive hi-tech toys are fine. Still there is a point where tech needs to leave well enough alone and go do something useful.

The Once and Future Batman continues.

THE RETURN OF BRUCE WAYNE #2 came out this week. SPOILERS AHEAD!! Bruce has pinged from prehistory where we found him at the end of FINAL CRISIS. After defeating Vandal Savage he was somehow transported to colonial Gotham. His memories are gone, but his skills are still there. He's caught in the middle of vicious witch hunters and a strange otherworldly monster that appeared just as he did. Bruce takes on the identity of Mordecai Wayne trying to stave off the witch hunters.

Meanwhile Superman, Hal Jordan, Booster Gold and Rip Hunter travel to the end of time to the last outpost where the complete records of history are kept in hopes of tracking down Bruce. They find the last record keeper who lays out a map of time for them. It the final moments of existence the record keeper steals Hunter's time sphere and strands the heroes moments before the universe ends.

The record keeper was Bruce Wayne.

I theorize that Bruce Wayne has not escaped the Omega Sanction and is still caught in it. He's bounding through time heading back to the 21st century and we're told that if he's not stopped he'll destroy the world. Darkseid seems to have had a contingency plan. Fatally wounded by Batman, he managed to turn him into his last weapon to destroy Earth.

But Bruce seems to have other plans, even without his memories. He's planting clues throughout history. Starting with markings on what was the Batcave in the distant past. Its theorized that Gotham City was somehow programmed to create Batman, but was that programming created by Batman himself? The ultimate contingency plan subconsciously formulated and implemented as he bounces through time ensuring the Miracle of Crime Alley? Richard Grayson, Damien Wayne and Alfred Pennyworth are putting the clues together to solve the mystery that Bruce has been building through time, a mystery that has only been revealed once they became aware that it existed.

What was it that attacked Bruce Wayne in the cave? Can it be related to what attacked Richard Grayson centuries later? A monster that seemed more of a hallucination than real?

And if the Black Glove a part of it? He's already hunted by the Joker in the guise of the "Domino Killer" and Oberton Sexton "The Gravedigger". He cursed the Cape and Cowl and Bruce's very next case brought him against Darkseid. Could the connection be more than we thought?

Its stuff like this that makes me excited about comics.

Driving is so last millennium

I'm hearing more and more about teenagers being urged by their parents to go get their drivers license. No this is not going to turn into yet another of Uncle Nozz's "when I was there age blah blah blah". I got my license when I was 17. Little late, but my father wasn't the most enjoyable driving teacher to have so I waited until he was out of the country with his reserve unit and handled it. The reasoning behind teenagers now not wanting to go get their driver's license is that they aren't seeing the need for it.

And really they do have a bit of a point. Gas prices are more then triple what they were when I was teenager. $8 would have me set for a week. So, it is a lot more expensive. But lets look at why a teenager would want their drivers license: independence, getting a job, and going to hang out with their friends.

The independence issue pretty much a mainstay. Either you get your license, depend of others to get you where you need to go, or hope your area has an excellent mass transit system. This used to baffle me about some people in big cities like new York who never learned to drive. Once I considered how traffic can be in those cities and you can get nearly everything you need in walking distance or by taking mass transit you don't really need it. Besides which, after driving in Montreal I don't even want to think about learning to drive there. That's just scary. I wouldn't want my kids driving there. You want to know why Georges St. Pierre has such fast kicks? From dodging traffic, that's how.

As for the kids working and needing to be able to drive to get to work. Well, again if you're in a big city its not much of an issue. If you're not you're probably going to need that license to get a job, because you can only sponge off the folks for so long.

The hanging with the friends thing is interesting to me. I've noticed a marked decrease in mallrats nowadays. If teenagers are there its to buy what they need. I did notice that teenagers in malls are troublesome where my dad lives in West Virginia. Mall security has problems with kids hanging out there and causing trouble, kinda like I'd hear about kids doing here when I was a teenager. Why that area of West Virginia? Hard to say, but I do know that my Dad can't get decent internet up there.

Teenagers don't need their licenses to see their friends because there's their picture right there on Facebook or Twitter. Texting has replaced long phone calls and it seems the internet has replaced actually hanging out. Why set up a place to meet and spend the money on gas when you can just log in? It really is a lot more practical.

Practical sometimes doesn't equal healthy. I'm not going to knock a kid for not wanting to spend money on gas when they can use tech to contact people and chat with them. Still, driving is a good skill to have. That and getting out from in front of the computer, after you read my blog of course because its important that you read everything I type, and getting some face time with people is a good thing.

So it seems driving isn't as much of a necessity to teenagers now. Probably a good thing because the roads are a little safer.

Yes I had to get a jab at teen drivers in there somewhere.

May's Google Buzz Champ!!

The Ladies of Science Fiction and Fantasy battled fiercely all throughout the six character single elimination tourney. We had plenty of upset and a lot of really close matches and it culminated in a barn burner of a finale.

Nyota Uhura had bested Buffy Summers, Ellen Ripley and even Princess Leia to make it to the finals.

Dana Scully battled for redhead supremacy dispatching 7 of 9 and Leeloo and met with upset queen Wilma Deering in the semi-finals, but strong support saw her through.

Two different eras of Sci-Fi met head-to-head as these ladies vied for votes. With a tie score at the end of regulation voting, we went into overtime. The match remained tied in overtime sending us into Sudden Death!

Finally a winner emerged: Nyota Uhura!

And right now, a very nice woman in Hawaii is cursing as she reads that. Sorry Kristie. <3

Silly Bandz Banned

I had seen them for a while, but it was flying under my radar. Little colorful shaped bands that kids are wearing around their wrists. Well, they got on my radar in a big way when one of my students wouldn't take his off during class. Oh, he did indeed take off, especially after I told him that if he didn't I'd yank it off him and eat it. They are Silly Bandz and I'm not the only one with a bit of aggravation over them. Seems kids are more worried about them than their school work and have gotten into fights over them.

So the horrible old schools and their shortsighted, soul-breaking methods have banned the bandz. (Cue "Another Brick in the Wall" by Pink Floyd.)

This is a travesty! How dare teachers try to remove something the children love! Its school! Those children need to be able to express themselves! You know what bans like this lead to? SCHOOL UNIFORMS! How dare the schools take away distracting things from children for the sake of trying to educate the little cherubs! I'm outraged!

Oh wait... I'm not.

Its school, people. And while school is important for kids to interact with their peers and form social skills, the kids have got to make the grade. I don't like the No Child Left Behind crap that has gotten schools to stat worrying more about test scores than actually educating kids. I don't want my kids to be turned into test taking little monkeys. Unfortunately that's how it is now and teachers are pressured to make sure their kids perform well. Its easy to say that the teachers are looking out for their own jobs getting rid of distractions like these in the classroom so the kids will test better and the teacher will keep their job. But what about the teachers that are there to actually teach the kids? The ones trying excite the students about learning. They've got to compete with stupid pieces of plastic that seem to be causing a real problem.

Newsflash: kids aren't in school to express themselves through fashion. They are there to, supposedly, learn something.

Bark at the loon.

Headed over to YouTube to see if anything was interesting, and this little news bit caught my eye.

"It's not Goth. Its not emo." And its not its something more. This takes not only the best aspects of Goth (everybody wear black to look like an individual!), and Emo (I'm a teenager and way too tragic for my own good) and combines it with the "Wolf Douche Factor". WDT is something that has been touched on before. This is a fascinating evolution of douchiness. Me and the guys would joke about this. You see all these little weirdos shuffling about and claiming to be vampires, and we'd wonder when there'd be a group of twerps claiming to be werewolves. Well, now we've got them. Thank goodness we can stop wondering now.

Look, I like werewolves. I like werewolf movies and the general lore. I've incorporated a werewolf into the horror fiction I write as a major character. Therefore I am claiming "expert" status and with that status I am here to tell thing children that they are doing it wrong.

If they really wanted to do it right they'd dress completely normally and only do their little costume time on nights of the full moon. This might upgrade them from plain weirdo status to mildly clever weirdo status. The cutesy names need to go too. Also werewolves aren't really known for being chill and relaxed. They mostly just try to kill and eat people. Not best role model there. I'm not saying that these kids should eat people, although I am tempted to say they can 'eat me'.

The best line of that entire news story was the one vapid girl looking oh so sincere when she said that they weren't doing this to get attention. Do I really need to explain how incredibly stupid that line is coming out of somebody who is dressed like that and claiming to be a werewolf? And sure I shouldn't be judging people by their appearance and blah, blah, blah. Listen up, hippies, if these little dopes want to do themselves up like Halloween 365 days our of year, fine, let them, but I'm going to call it like it is. There's no deep meaning here nor is there any primal pack mentality or bond between these kids. They're a bunch of kids letting their freak flag fly, and that's fine, but I'm going to give them the same advice I gave the wolf dorks preiously: Don't be a douche.

Happy 100th!

The 100th video from Itsjustsomerandomguy has hit YouTube. I'm a big fan of his and he's produced a ton of great content and this video is no exception. Enjoy.

Bret Michaels wins big

Just got done watching the finale of Celebrity Apprentice, and Bret Michaels was "hired". I'm pretty sure that if folks were asked about his chances before the season started his odds would be slim to none. Snapple actually matched the prize money of $250.000 so both Michaels and Holly Robinson Peete got the same amount, so ultimately naming a winner was just a formality.

Its no secret that Michaels has had gravely serious health issues since the filming of the show, and there were a lot of questions as to whether or not he'd be able to attend the finale, but he made it. He was moving a little slow, but he was there and looking good. However, this brings up something interesting:

Did Bret Michaels win because of everything he had to overcome outside of the show?

This is a moot point really. Both finalists received the same amount of money. Picking Michaels as the new Celebrity Apprentice is good press for Trump and turns the competition into a nice little feel good story. Nothing against Peete, but I was happy that he won. But did he deserve it based on his merits within the competition?

I say yes. He had led two projects previously and won them both. He contributed a lot to projects he was not leading. His project for the finale was really good and made the finals a real toss up. The man played hard, he played to win, and despite being a bit wild and zany at times, he conducted himself very well with the other competitors. He came off extremely likable on the show. Peete now holds the record of the most money ever amassed on one project in the show's history, but she also had two losses as project manager.

Both competitors were very good. The season was a lot of fun. I think the best person won, and I'm very glad to know that a lot of money was raised for a lot of good causes.

This was win television.

Mister Popularity

Geez, another YouTube subscriber. I HAVE NO VIDEOS! This is obviously an attempt for the goof in question to boost his subscriber count. And for extra irony the video I saw when I looked at his profile curious to see what kind of dope would do this was all "Did you know that Google makes money every time you search for something...."

Hey, Mister Smart-butt, did you know that subscribing to me on YouTube when I have no videos and a message on my profile stating my intention not to post any videos will prompt me to mock you in places where I actually post?

Still feeling clever?

Social media is not a numbers game, its a content game. If I have 1000 friends/followers/disciples/whatever yet I'm not producing any worthwhile content then I'm wasting people's time. And the people who fall for it are just as bad as the perpetrators. What good is having 500 Facebook "friends" if you don't care about what they say? Now, if you're promoting something, like a company or product, that's a different story. Its straight up advertising. For me what I advertise is the content I generate, and the way I network is slower, but more fulfilling to me. I generate content and people either stumble upon it, or i stumble upon them and comment about their content. If they like what I have to say about their work then they may check out mine. Now, I haven't looked through a lot of people's work lately and the amount of people I do follow is modest, but my time online, despite some people's opinions, is limited.

I do not have 1000s of followers, but the ones I do have mostly sought me out and have stayed around hopefully because they like my work. And most of them have interesting content of their own.

Hm. A place where interesting things are said and new, fresh ideas are shared to people from varying backgrounds?

Nah. That'll never work. This is the internet after all.

Bring on the lolcats and pr0n.

HOLY CRAP! It's Pac-Man!

In honor of Pac-Man celebrating it's 30 year anniversary (I remember when it was new! CRAP! I'M OLD!) Google did a specialized logo for their site done up to look like a Pac-Man maze. I thought it was really cool.

I just now discovered that it's PLAYABLE!

There goes my morning.

May's Google Buzz Tourney: On to the finals!

The quarter finals were both close matches with one one vote separating the winners from the losers.

Nyota Uhura settled the Star Trek versus Star Wars debate by besting Princess Leia.

Dana Scully proved the superiority of pants suits over spandex by besting Wilma Deering.

The Championship match is underway. Who will reign supreme?

What? No Union Jack cameo?

Captain America his heading across the pond. That's right, the upcoming movie starring Chris Evans will be filmed in England. Well, some of the movie is supposedly set in England, so that's cool, but what about the rest? Why not film it in the States?

Money. Specifically, taxes.

California would tax the hell out of it. England offers significant tax credits for filming a movie over there. So which is smarter? Having to spend a ton of money on taxes, or having that money to make a better movie with the budget you have?

California is in an economic tailspin and there's already companies bailing off of that sinking ship. On the surface its easy to think of those companies as rats deserting that sinking ship, but those rats have employees, with families, and they'd like to be able to eat.

So, is it horrible and unpatriotic that Captain America is being filmed in England? Not so much, but it is pretty ironic. I think everyone thought Hollywood would come crashing down due to sin and excess. Really the bigger problem is government and taxes.

I think the major Hollywood studios should move the Virginia! Of course I say that because being an extra in some big movie would be cool. Best I could hope for with my mug is "victim #3". I can play dead real good. Honest. Ask my boss.

The wrong bear to poke

The Pakistan infowar is continuing and as predicted there's a lot of upset people over there. For a more professional take (read: not snarky) on the events Yahoo had an article up about it. So we have both sides of the coin upset there. There are those that are upset about the EDMD content, and there are those who are ticked that the government has blocked those sites.

Well, they didn't have a whole lot of choice now did they. Lawyers from Pakistan tried to get that content blocked, but that didn't happen. So the plug got pulled.

Here's a bit that the article touches on that the internet "freedom fighters" behind this didn't think about: Pakistan has an elected government. This means all the people who EDMD offended have a vote. I don't think anyone wants to see what would come to power over there from a campaign running against western blasphemy.

EDMD alienated a demographic that should be embraced. That's the people who really aren't sure about things the west have to offer like the internet. Would their lives be bettered by such things? I'm pretty sure they would, but you can't expect those people to want something when they hear about things on there specifically placed to offend them.

I swear. Its like PETA drowning puppies sometimes. You can't make people see the point of view the freedom of speech and freedom of expression are great when you are putting things up that are offensive.

Message from Pakistan: Internet get the @#$% out!

Add Google to the list of sites banned by Pakistan. Looks like they've been waiting for an excuse to get block internet. Looks like they got it.

Way to go, art monkeys. Keep it up, they're not back to the stone age yet.

Free Speech or DIE, you heathens!

So it seems YouTube has followed Facebook in sites being banned by Pakistan. So morons, under the banner of advocating free speech, have managed to block two of the most popular and biggest websites specializing in sharing content and information from an entire country. Are they trying to redefine "counterproductive"?

Good ol' YouTube. Just yesterday in the comments to a video I had some clown agree with me yet still feel the need to insult me in the same post.

And yes, the YouTube ban was indeed prompted by the Everybody Draw Muhammad Day, which is supposed to be today, so shame on you Pakistan for not waiting. You're supposed to let all the internet dimwits get a chance to offend you first. Bad form.

But really the people behind EDMD are a bunch of sissies. If they were really serious about free speech, they'd try Everybody Say The "N" Word Day. In fact they should. In Harlem. Let me know how that turns out.

Look, I love free speech, but like every freedom, it comes with responsibility. You are responsible for the things you say and express. Did those idiots who started really think there would be no repercussions? It seems that way. Now they've joined groups like Revolution Muslim and the Westboro Baptist Church in hiding behind free speech laws to offend people.

They want the world to have free speech and yet have demonstrated a glaring inability to handle the responsibility of free speech.

Don't expect this mess to end anytime soon.

The best laid plans of pompous twits

As predicted Everybody Draw Muhammad Day has had results and it not the type that the dopes who came up with this plot had intended. Pakistan has blocked Facebook. This effort to strike a blow for Free Speech has resulted in an entire country blocking one of the biggest Social Media sites on the Web. I'm sure this is exactly what Facebook was hoping for since things are going so well for them now with the mass exodus getting ready to go down and them being in deep dip over security of user's personal information.

So the people who started this and have a group on Facebook have managed to strike a blow against the website that they used to push the idea. Way to go, idiots.

Let's break this down real simple like. You have the right to Freedom of Expression in America. You also have the right not to be subjected forcibly to what other people are expressing. They don't want to see Muhammad. It is against their beliefs. Its not like they were being denied viewing images of Muhammad, they aren't interested, and don't want anything to do with it.

So the gaggle of goofs drawing the pictures and yelling "LOOK AT THIS!" like a bunch semi-retarded elementary school students and being ignored en mass by the people they were trying to offend.

And yes, they were trying to offend them. They'll say they're not. They'll claim to be artistic freedom fighter. Ultimately though, they are douches. And now Facebook, rather douchey in its own right, is reaping what the douches have sown.

And the karmic wheel rolls on. Take that, Atheist Barbie.

Well, it would be more fun than the prequels.

May's Final Four!

The Google Buzz Tourney for May has completed its quarter final round and the Ladies of Science Fiction and Fantasy are down to the final four. These matches were all complete shut outs except for the first one. Ripley got a shot it.

Nyota Uhura beat Ellen Ripley.

Princess Leia beat Zoe Washburne

Dana Scully beat 7 of 9 and thus is the Queen Redhead of the Tourney.

Wilma Deering beat Neytiri.

And I do get the feeling that a certain young lady in Hawaii is quite pleased to know that Dana Scully is kicking ass and taking names. The final four are having it out including a much anticipated Star Wars/Star Trek match-up. Who will go to the May Finals? Got a favorite? Head over to Buzz and vote!

Responding to nuts with third grader tactics.

Draw Muhammad Day is approaching and if you haven't heard of this yet you may very well be hearing a lot about this soon. This is a response to Comedy Central editing a South Park episode "depicting" the Prophet Muhammad after death threats were posted online by a bunch of nutters known as Revolution Muslim. The episode in question dealt with the Islamic ban on depicting Mohammad visually in any medium. They also never show Muhammad in the episode having him hidden an a giant cuddly bear suit. South Park is a comedic show and pokes fun at everything, and while they did take jab at this ban they also technically didn't break it. However Comedy central did edit the episode when it aired in a move which I think was pretty wussy, but I understand it because they were legitimately worried about the well-being of two of their own.

The great thing about free speech is that it lets us know who the nutters all. Revolution Muslim spoke up and now we all know that these guys are douchebags and potentially violent ones. However, Revolution Muslim does not include nor represent the views of all Muslims. That's important because now we have a whole new problem.

Someone had the brilliant idea to have so many people draw Muhammad that it would "destroy" the ban. The reason the ban is there is because Islam does not approve of idolatry, which is something it shares with Christianity. They don't want there to be images of Muhammad because that may encourage people to worship him when they should be worshiping Allah. So obviously issuing death threats and killing a Dutch cartoonist is the work of extremists, but the principle against idolatry is held by most in that faith.

So where did this idea to draw Muhammad come from?

Yes, Atheist Barbie there looks quite smart with her glasses, take-me-seriously hairstyle, and general demeanor; but it doesn't change the fact that she's advocating douchbagery. This is the equivalent of taking a knock at Jesus just for the sake of getting a jab in at Fred Phelps. Groups like Revolution Muslim and the Westboro Baptist Church are indeed a blight and I've got no qualms about taking shots at them, however there's no regard here for the collateral damage. This concept is going to appeal to those looking to count coup and safe money says that most of the images will be derogatory.

Face it, when I'M getting concerned about cultural sensitivity something is definitely wrong.

So obviously I won't be participating and I encourage my friends in the artistic community not to either. Freedom of Expression is wonderful thing but this is an abuse of it. Its also ridiculously juvenile. Jon Stewart telling Revolution Muslim to "go fuck yourself" backed by a gospel choir is pure genius compared to this. Note that Stewart specifically targeted the offending group with no undue venomous overflow.

Grow up. Revolution Muslim got its ass handed to them by the public at large and their website is pretty much shut down. They've lost. They lost because they are losers. Don't go doing something intentionally being an asshole and claim you're being morally right because of Freedom of Speech. And you know what? I fully defend anyone's right to take part in this. I also defend people's right to burn the American Flag in protest, although I do feel I should have the right to punch them straight in the mouth for it.

Having the right to do something does not mean that you should do it.

The Scripture of B.A. Barracus

Keep these commandments, my children, and be saved!

Thou shalt pity fools wherever you find them.

Thou shalt not leave your home with any less than ten pounds of gold around your neck.

Thou shalt not fly upon planes. They are unclean.

Thou shalt drink milk, but beware of hidden sleeping pills.

Thou shalt drive a sweet van.

Thou shalt not hit anyone while firing an automatic rifle.

Thou shalt only throw people over your head. Other throws are unclean.

Thou shalt always possess the proper tools to build any ridiculous machine required of you.

Thou shalt not question the plans of Hannibal.

Thou shalt keep you mohawk. Other hairstyles are an affront to B.A.

This is the word of B.A. for the people of B.A.

Thanks be to B.A.

Oh man.

Redneck Good Time

Checking through the ol' Nozz Mailbag I found that I got sent a free pass for up to four people to the American Drag Racing League Speedtech U.S. Drags III. Very nice of them, but unfortunately I've got plans the weekend of the event. Not sure exactly what those plans are, but I'm sure when I make them they will be important. They were however to make sure the passes included fine print on the back.

By using this ticket you assume all risks and danger of death, personal injury, property damage, and all other hazards related in any way to attending this event anywhere at the facility at all times before, during and after the races.

Pack the kids up, sweetie! We's goin' to the track!

Dangers include but are not limited to, flying objects,

Including unidentified, spitballs and Frito-pies.

other people,

Flying and otherwise.


Also flying and otherwise.

and conditions at the facility.

Exactly what kind of shithole they holdin' this at?

The American Drag Racing League, its assignees or permittees may use your image or likeness in any live or recorded video display or other transmission or reproduction of all or part of the event, and in any advertisements and/or promotional materials, in the media, anywhere, forever.

That's right: FOREVER! So if your picture gets out and your friends see it and make fun of you going to this thing don't go bitchin' to the ADRL!

This ticket is a license and privilege that the American Drag Racing League may terminate at any time without notice. The event date and time are subject to change without notice.

Well, that will certainly keep me on my toes.

You consent to reasonable search for alcohol, drugs and other prohibited items.

I need some clarification on "reasonable". Not scheduled to my prostrate checked for a while, and when it is it certainly won't be checked by Bubba the Security Guard wondering if I got a dime bag hidden in there.

There's some other stuff in the there, but it wasn't funny. It was kinda funny that that tickets to this event which refuses to be responsible for killing me if I show up was sent to me by CarSafe. Makes me feel safer already.

May's Google Buzz Tourney

This month the ladies of science fiction and fantasy are battling it out. Voting based on general hawtness is discouraged in favor of their individual influence to popular culture. Most the round 1 was really close.

Nyota Uhura phasered Buffy Summers.

Ellen Ripley beat out Aeryn Sun.

Princess Leia dominated Sharon Valerii.

Zoe Washburne bumped off Bella Swan.

7 of 9 assimilated Xena.

Dana Scully proved to be the superior redhead than Leeloo.

Wilma Deering squeaked by Padmé Amidala

Neytiri beat Arwen Undomiel

The Quarter Finals are up and running.

Ah-HA! You're all goin' to HELL!

I knew it! I knew I was right! People always thought it was weird that I lived so close to the ocean and yet don't go anywhere near seafood. Well, I was completely right to be skeeved out by the nasty stuff, and through that brilliant display of foresight I have assured my eternal salvation! And its nice to see people rising up and taking the Lord's message to the people!

Can I get an "AMEN"?


For anyone paying just the slightest bit of attention to this blog, you already know that I absolutely adore the TV show SUPERNATURAL. For anyone paying just the slightest attention to network television, you already know that SUPERNATURAL finished their fifth and most likely final season last night. Over the last five years the Winchester Brothers have taken on just about every monster one could think of and were doing their best to take on the Apocalypse. No, not one of the one-of-many, hey-its-Tuesday-the-world-is-ending, Buffy Apocalypses. I mean Lucifer walking the Earth ready for a showdown with Michael; the Four Horseman have come; full blown Revelations Apocalypse. The whole fifth season was the Brothers and their allies doing damage control and trying to survive. There was also the small wrinkle that they were the chosen vessels for Michael and Lucifer and if they say "Yes" to them entering their bodies then the fight would be on and more than half the planet would be torched.

So, how do you wrap up five years and the fight to end all fights in one hour? How do you end something like this? How can you satisfy all your fans?

Endings are a bitch. This show told us that.

Really. It told us that. You see the Winchester boys happen to have met a prophet in their adventures that had been chronicling there deeds in the form of novels. While he wasn't in the fight he wrote about it. He knew it was the end, but how do you write it? Obviously the prophet, Chuck, was playing the role of show creator Eric Kripke a bit. "Any monkey with a typewriter and write a beginning, but an ending?" Very true. So Chuck wrote about a car.

A '67 Chevy Impala to be specific. Because in the story, in that whole world, its important and it had its own story.

So yeah. The fight went down. It was brutal and bloody. I cringed a bit as characters I had grown to love fell. I tried to wrap my head and heart around the sense of finality was the hour drew to a close. Chuck said there would always be fans complaining because there was no way to answer all the questions. And I sat there last night knowing that if I wracked my brain I was sure to think of some plot thread that was left to be explored.

Unfortunately I won't have that chance. Damn you Eric Kripke. I hope somehow you get to read this. I didn't sleep worth a damn last night, AND ITS ALL YOUR DAMN FAULT!!! Yes, I'd ponder your show for days, reveling in the intricate little twists and turns you put on it. Thursday night is the only night that makes me truly excited to watch television. You took the questions that were burning in my head for weeks (Can Sam beat the Devil? Can Dean save his brother?), and replaced them! I'm asking more questions now! I'm at peace with my thoughts on who Chuck really was, but dammit who was that under that streetlight. One scene at the end that last maybe two seconds had my jaw on the floor and I nearly fell out of my seat.

You bastard Kripke. I hate you. I love you. I want to be you went I grow up.


He pinged brilliantly off of Grant Morrison's FINAL CRISIS whether he meant to or not.

Screw "the end".

Telling the kids, nicely, that they suck.

Being stuck on an airplane with a lack of reading material led me to Sky Magazine with Katy Perry on the cover with a big caption about "Millennials". The folks formerly known as "Generation Y" have new book written about them and there was an excript from the book in the magazine. If I remember correctly is was called "Generation M: How Millennials are Rocking the Workplace" and was written by two people who claim to be experts and looked old enough have spawned a Millennial or two who are probably attempting to rock the workplace as you read this. The parameters for being a Millennial is being born somewhere between the early 1980s and the early 21st century.

The article itself was interesting in that it was horribly insulting to this group, but tried to pass it off as "this is how these people are, and we must adapt to deal with them". Amidst the many adjectives like "smart" and "savvy" the message of the article was clear: this group is spoiled and feels entitled.

But is this true?

Of course not! It's idiocy to lump everyone born inside of twenty years off each other like this. I'm part of Generation X. The only thing be all have in common is a ability to eat cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Yes, there are morons out there who have been spoiled and feel entitled, and there is a culture of entitlement and victimhood that is currently annoying the hell out of a lot of people. However, there's also quite a few of these Millenials that know the value of paying their dues and putting in a hard days work.

According to that article Millennals have voice that must be heard. They want to know what they do matters. They need meaning. They want a gold star on their sticker chart. This is obviously stupid. There's a whole lot of folks just happy to be working right now and there's plenty who wish they were. The hell with gold stars and meaning, they want a paycheck. And I'm not saying that employers should just discount their opinions, but obviously the opinions of those with more experience are going to weight a bit more. The workplace is not going to just adapt to suit anyone. If there is going to be a change in how a business performs its going to be due to necessity and monetary motivation. Yes that includes making the workplace more compatible with the employees because that increases production.

And of course it brings up those "helicopter parents" because there's no reason why they shouldn't be involved in every aspect of their children's live including help negotiate for benefits with a company. OK, if your kid is in their twenties and possessing all their mental facilities and you need to hold their hand when dealing with the management of the company they work for, there's something fundamentally wrong. As a parent your job is to simultaneously protect your child while teaching them how to successfully survive out on their own. You have about 18 years to do this. This molly-coddling of of kids is what led to that Healthcare screw job in cluding kids being able to stay on their parents insurance until they are 26. That is not helping them.

Yeah, I've seen some of these punks who feel they're entitled to things. I've seen guys wanting to get paid by the day instead of waiting until Friday so that boss can actually bill for the work done and keep his checkbook in order. They're not the norm. If they are, they flee from my presence. The people I know in that age group work hard and many of them in jobs they don't particularly like.

So here's my question to the "Millennials": You're considered spoiled, entitled, and are expected to behave as if under the belief that you are a special little snowflake in the center of your personal universe, you gonna take that shit?

Prove those experts wrong. I dare all of you.

I'm back. Hide, f*ckers.

I, in an amazing feat of perseverance and intestinal fortitude, have survived another week in Tokepa, Kansas as well as made the trips there and back via Delta Airlines. Next time I'm flying Southwest as even though I may be stuck flying which I absolutely hate I do enjoy a good barrel roll which should break up the monotony of things nicely.

Over the previous week I spent my time plotting revenge upon people. You know who you are. And if you're not sure you're on the list, please enjoy the next few weeks of paranoia and uncertainty. I find it adds a certain zest to life.

I have received over three dozen e-mails in my absence. Most of them are now deleted.

I read Sky Magazine. Repeatedly. That is until I bought a copy of Men's Journal. Which was only nominally more entertaining. I read about Millennials, Brussels, Robert Downey Jr. doing Wing Chun, and kids in San Francisco getting in trouble in school for wearing clothes with the American Flag on Cinco de Mayo. I'll likely be blogging all of these late except for the last one be cause I can handle it here in the few lines.

San Francisco: you, as a city, suck. You take every liberal notion and extrapolate it to awe inspiring stupidity. I hope that Arizona state government adopts a new law to ship every illegal immigrant they round up to you since you're so in love with them. Viva la Raza.

I'll be launching my next Tourney on Google Buzz tonight if all goes well. The subject will be Ladies of Science Fiction and Fantasy.

I've discovered I have four new followers on my blog, which affirms my suspicion that people like me better when I'm gone. Or when the Japanese Pr0n Invasion Virus appears.

Finally, one of my oldest friends posted in the comments here. I swear to God Tim, I thought you were dead. Or in Canada.
My grandmother passed last week. She was a very nice woman and I'll miss her. Today I visited my grandfather to see how he's doing. He's having a lot of trouble with is memory. Just before I left, he told me that my grandmother is in the hospital and had to be reminded by my aunt that she passed away last week.

My grandfather is a strong man with the type of character that good men should hope to have. Teenagers today worry about video games and texting and getting their driver's license. He was 16 years old on the USS Hornet in the Navy during World War II. He raised three strong and fine sons and one very good daughter. He still smiles and asks how his great grand-daughters are. He knows his memory isn't serving him well. To have to repeatedly get the news that your wife has "slipped away" as he eloquently put it, and to bear that news repeatedly with the strength and dignity he displayed is something I doubt I would have the fortitude of spirit to do myself.

That was harder to type than I thought it would be.

Today is going to stay with me for a very long time.

Powering down

I'll be gone for a week. Visiting family in Kansas.

When I get back I'll be launching a new Google Buzz Tourney.

You people behave yourselves.