Bad nerd!

Hello, my name is Marty, and I am a bad nerd.

This not a good time to be a bad nerd.  There's all these nerdy things all about us in various media.  I have many nerd friends (people I only know on the internet still count as friends!), and they're all very excited.  I can't go on much of any social media without seeing something about recent nerd movies/TV shows/ whatever or one of the same coming out this year.

And I just don't care.

And this is troubling to me!  I'm not trying to be Hipster Nozz over here!  I wish I was excited about all these things that're coming out!  Aside from the Marvel Netflix stuff and some of the comics I read nothing is really getting me stoked.  Its really depressing.  Not totally terrible of course.  I still have The Walking Dead comic, and a lot of the Marvel stuff since the re-launch has been a lot of fun.

However, much of what a lot of people seem to be excited about doesn't appeal to me.  And its weird in that much of it has gotten so mainstream that the people I know who aren't really part of the "nerdcore" see it, like it, and think of me.  "Marty must be really excited by all of this!"

And I'm not.  Let's review my bad nerd credentials.

* I hate the new STAR WARS  movie.  I really do.  Its not a bad movie.  Its very well done.  I wasn't terribly excited about going to see it.  The Missus wanted to check it out, so we went.  If you haven't seen it yet I'm going to dance around a spoiler as best I can.

If a fictional character that I have loved since childhood, one that was the epitome of cool for me as a kid, and my favorite thing in that entire fictional universe, gets horribly murdered in a film, I'M NOT GOING TO LIKE THAT FILM!!!  That's the only thing I think of in regards to that movie.  All the other stuff has just become a grey haze to me because of that one part.  I'm seriously to the point where I want nothing to do with STAR WARS because of that one thing.

There's no logic behind it.  Its purely, 100% emotionalism.  The last thing that really had me vested in the franchise got bumped off, and with that I've out grown STAR WARS.

* I hate THE DARK KNIGHT.  This is not news to those who have followed me for a while.  The movie that a lot of people hail as the most amazing Batman movie ever, I rank it right down with BATMAN AND ROBIN.  It was a great Joker movie, but made Batman out to be a two-fisted moron with Morgan freeman there to do all the heavy thinking for him.  I found it just hard to watch.

And unfortunately it started a trend with Warner brothers to which ever Superman got very grim and gritty.  MAN OF STEEL  looked like something I needed to keep my children away from, and like the brilliant writer Greg Rucka put it "Any Superman movie that you can't take your kids to isn't a good Superman movie."

So, no I'm not excited at all for the SUPERMAN VS BATMAN movie.  Ben Affleck does look like he'll make a great Batman, but I have no interest in a movie which Martha Kent tells Clark he doesn't owe the world a thing.  In these movies, Ma and Pa Kent are the worst parents ever.  And honestly, I don't feel like going to a movie to watch two superheroes I like beat each other up.  Go fight a villain.  You've both got plenty of them.

Which brings us to...

* CIVIL WAR.  Damn it all anyways.  Why?  Why on earth do people praise that comic?  Its terribly written.  The artwork is really nice, but the book portrays Captain America as being a freaking nut and not much better than the Punisher.  And ever since then Ironman has been a almost a villain with no one really trusting him.  Now, we've had a reboot and Ironman is really awesome again!  But now there's going to be another CIVIL WAR comic which pits Ironman against Captain Marvel.  Yes, the Captain Marvel that's going to be getting her own movie in a couple years.  We couldn't go six months since SECRET WAR in which everyone got along and fought bad guys?

Oh and the movie?

OK, let's take two characters that we've been made to like and put them against each other.  And that last scene with Cap and Bucky being the crap out of Ironman was disturbing.  They looked like a couple of bullies.  This may well be the first movie that Marvel studios puts out that I full on avoid.

* Speaking of Marvel movies: screw DEADPOOL.  I hate that character.  I'm annoyed by his rabid fandom.  I'm absolutely stunned that a movie actually got off the ground and fully expect this thing to flop, because I think more people will just illegally download from somewhere instead of shelling out the bucks to go see it.

* SUICIDE SQUAD.  Yeah, concerning that: I've taken all of my f--ks and put them in a time capsule which is not to be unearthed until well after I'm dead because i won't be giving any of them.


Fortunately there's still so good nerdy TV for me to enjoy.  I really wish LEGENDS OF TOMORROW was going to be on on a night that I won't get home until after its over, but those are the breaks.

There's all these things out there that people are going to be buzzing about.  It'll likely come up at shows when I'm trying to sell my comic, and I'll smile uncomfortably and make some excuse about not finding time to go see it, but I'll catch it of DVD, and hey, let's talk about my book.

Its very frustrating.  I want to enjoy these things, but its just all so wrong to me.  I'm having people who didn't start out nearly as nerdy as me knowing a lot more about some of this stuff than I do.  I've gotten pretty good at smiling and shrugging my shoulders over it.

I will say this, its kinda tough when the stuff everyone's so excited about bums you out.

Nozz = Comic Book Hipster?

Where's the coffee?  Its Friday, April 20, 2012, I'm freaking beat, and this is The Side.  The Missus is still with her family, and I'm still on the single dad patrol.  Very exhausting.  This has also prevented me from getting by the comic shop, so yet again, the reviews will be on Sunday, that is if there's anything waiting for me.


Hey, speaking of ye olde comic shoppe.

LABELS!!!

I was at Kings last Saturday picking up my comics, and the owner's son was chilling out behind the counter on some downtime between rounds of the Saturday Yu-Gi-Oh Tournament.  He expressed his surprised that I wasn't picking up the latest AVENGERS VERSUS X-MEN issue.  I told him I wasn't a Marvel reader.


"How can you be a Comic Book Hipster and not be reading Marvel?"


I thought you couldn't be a comic book hipster if you did read Marvel.  I figured that a comic book hipster was pretty much one and the same as the "indier than thou" crowd.  I was actually worried about being lumped into that group with my reading stuffs lately.  No, I haven't been reading Marvel for years.  I did give them a shot again with FF on the advice of some valued friends, but it just wasn't for me.  I stopped reading DC, and that wasn't so much me leaving DC Comics as DC Comics leaving me.  My reading currently consists mostly of books from Dark Horse and Image.  And for anyone reading this and thinking "well those are indy companies" you haven't been paying attention.  Dark Horse has major franchises like STAR WARS and BUFFY, as well as HELLBOY.  If you've had multiple books from your company be made into movies, you're no longer indy.  Image has THE WALKING DEAD.  That's just about the hottest show on TV.  There's no more "Big Two", its the "Big Four" now.  Has been for a long time.

So, I'm not in the "indier than thou" crowd, but am I a comic book hipster?  I have enough of a knowledge base of comics that I feel confident that I could teach an undergraduate course on the subject.  Still, the term "comic book hipster" conjures a certain image in mind.  Skinny jeans, and knit hats.  T-shirts of comics that either people haven't heard of or ones that people had and that were made into movies,but the person wearing it will be quick to point out that he was into that book before everyone else.  Glasses that are big and black that make sure to let people know that this individual reads a lot.  They must read a lot.  Look at the size of their glasses, for cryin' out loud.  They look down their noses at anyone who dares to read a comic they find unworthy of their interest.  Its kinda like fanboys who leveled up.


Stopping to consider my current self in relevance to my notion of a comic book hipster, I don't think I fit.  My glasses aren't thick enough.  I sure as hell don't wear skinny jeans.  Actually, I'm usually wearing my work clothes, and those have been through hell and back on my construction job.


I do have a habit of being snarky towards some of the things I don't like.  I got a little heat because after getting a description of the X-Men storyline "The Messiah Complex" I said it sounded really stupid and I wouldn't bother reading it.  Sure, that sounds like me being a prick, but I can't really get excited about a book, no matter how glowingly someone describes it, if the entire premise sounds dumb to me.  My friends convinced me to give FF a try due to their knowledge that an issue of THE FANTASTIC FOUR was one of the first ones I every got, and that there were going to be interesting directions explored in the comic in that it was super-heroes through a nearly pure sci-fi prism, which is how I like my Fantastic Four.  Sure, I didn't like the issue I bought, but at least my friends made a proper sale of it.  The bit about "Messiah Complex" tying into all these other "event" stories isn't a selling point either.

"It ties directly into HOUSE OF M."


"What?  So, I have to read that too?"


That's not being a snotty comic book hipster so much as being a guy who really doesn't want to track down comics that don't sound interesting and read them.  There's too much other interesting stuff that I want to read but haven't had the chance.


Is there a bit too much of "we're the cool comic book reading guys" going on here?  Is it like when the guys on THE BIG BANG THEORY call someone else a "dork"?  You do see it sometimes, but really a nerd calling a nerd "nerd" is just stupid.  I do revel in my fantasy of seeing the guys from Comic Kings throwing down with the crew from Local Heroes like a geek version of the Sharks and Jets, with Mike Federali writing the entire score to this nerd gang musical.


So, I'm not a comic book hipster, and definitely not a fan boy.  I'm not "indier than thou" either.  Fine by me.  I've had enough stupid labels stuck to me over the years.


I'm just bummed that "Lord Nozz, Prince of Pain" never stuck.

MUSIC!!!

What?  You sayin' that just because a guy is a level 30 alchemist that he can't serve some shit?





That's it for me guys.  See y'all Sunday.

Sheldon Cooper is a Stud

BAZINGA! Its Friday, September 30, 2011, I'm in a hot dense state, and this is The Side. I'm currently still attempting to get my bathroom in proper working order. It seems properly sweating a fitting that's attached to a horizontal pipe is impossible if you're me. For a guy who fixes stuff all the time at work, one would think I could fix stuff in my own house.

It would seem that one would be wrong.

NERDS!!

OK, I'm getting my rant on, so hang on to your socks. See that image there? That is from a webcomic that I'm a big fan of called OUR VALUED CUSTOMERS. The premise is simple. The guy who does the comic works in a comic shop and he does little comics of some of the customers and the stuff that spews from their faces. Now, this particular cartoon is just amazing in that someone actually said that. Someone actually uttered that insane statement. What's even more crazy was the comments that were agreeing with the loon that said it!

For those who don't know, "black face" was when white performers were made up to "look black" for shows, and pretty much played up a bunch of stereotypes. We are talking as racist as the day is long here. So black face is racist, and with the allegation in this cartoon, from the guy saying it and those agreeing him, is it possible doing something against a nerd is somehow racist?

Its really enough to make your head explode sometimes.

OF COURSE IT ISN'T RACIST!! Nerds aren't a race! They aren't even a culture. Our definition of a nerd has changed over the years. Its borderline subjective. I'm a nerd. I've read comic books since I was three. Given a chance I'll play video games and watch cartoons all the live long day. I can interject Batman into damn near any conversation I have. I didn't get that way by birth, unless there's nerd DNA that we haven't discovered yet. It has nothing to do with where I was born. Its my hobbies. That's it. Somehow, society has decreed that my hobbies have branded me a nerd. Actually, its not so much society, as it is my peers when I was a kid. A person who is a nerd made a choice somewhere in their life to pursue a particular interest that his or her peers deemed nerdy. They can also stop pursuing that interest. A person can not just take up an ethnicity no matter how much some people try.

And these people are ticked at THE BIG BANG THEORY? Really? Have they never watched television ever or am I just that freaking old? They think that show is "nerd racism"? How about HEAD OF THE CLASS? That's right, I'm going back about 25 years for this one. Let's look at the king nerd on that show: Arvid. Rocks a pocket protector and big ol' thick framed glasses. Skinny dude who was good at math and science. Couldn't get a hooker if he was waving hundred dollar bills. This guy had zero social skills, but he was smart. Sure he was made fun of in nearly every episode, but that was wrong and we all had to learn to accept each other for what makes us special. Thank God Howard Hesseman and Billy Connolly were there or that show would have been damn near unwatchable.

And let's not stop there, how about some SAVED BY THE BELL. Remember Screech? Y'know, before the sex tape. He was everyone's pal all the while they made fun of him every time he opened his mouth. The girl he liked treated him like dirt. His best friend treated him like a flunky. There was the near endless name calling by the cooler kids. Still, there he was. Lovable old Screech, there for people to step on until they needed him or it was an episode in which the moral of the story involved being nice to nerds.

Now let's contrast those characters against the king nerd of THE BIG BANG THEORY: Sheldon Cooper. He holds two doctorates, and is likely the smartest person in any room he walks into. He's eccentric, not caring much for the social hoops we all jump through. His confidence and manner has attracted numerous women to him, and had he an interest in it, he'd be laying pipe like a master plumber. He's uncompromising in his beliefs and will argue you into the ground if you have the slightest intellectual chink in your armor. He's also lived in the Arctic for three months performing an experiment, which is actually pretty bad ass. Yes, he enjoys his comics and sci-fi. If he's the new face of a what a nerd is, then we've come a long way.

And there was a comment that the cast of the show was at Comic-con and got boos from the crowd when they didn't know what a Tardis was. Let's just assume that's true, because I don't feel like hunting down proof. People are upset that actors are acting? "They're playing nerds on TV! How can they not be nerds in real life?!" That's completely stupid. That's like being pissed off because Chris Hemsworth doesn't really have a magic hammer that can call down lightning.Its pretty good acting too since Jim Parson's has received two Emmies for playing Sheldon Cooper.

So for those who are ticked that THE BIG BANG THEORY isn't showing nerds in a more favorable light, shove it. That show depicts nerds completely awesome in comparison with damn near every other sit-com ever. And for those who are even attempting to equate treatment of nerds with racism, I want to hit you in the face with brick. It may or may not knock any sense into you, but I'll feel a hell of a lot better. Grow up and get some perspective, you idiots.

End rant. And I'm going to watch that show as soon as I get home from work today.

MUSIC!!

Kickin' it L 7 style.



That's it for me today. Doing a Karate Demo at the Church's annual Bazaar, in which I've bribed people with buying them homemade ice cream. The show should last about 20 minutes. See, if it was store bought it would only last 5. You can get a lot more from people with homemade.

Nozz World Tour!

Yeah, that's right. Its Sunday, January 30, 2011, I'm ready for the zombie apocalypse, and this is The Side. All and all, I don't sweat a zombie apocalypse. The shambling dead don't scare me but I don't fear what I can outthink, outfight and outrun. The preparedness comes from the mountain of bagged leaves I amassed yesterday. It would make a convincing barricade.

Its like this every year. I make some decent headway in keeping the yard up. The weather turn and the leaves get ahead of me. I finally get back to dealing with the yard. I finally get all the leaves up, and by then they're getting ready to fall again.

I love my house, but its time for a getaway. Off we go!

NERDOM 'ROUND THE WORLD

I've seen a lot of kids who think they've got what it takes to be a manga artist and say they're going to someday move to Japan to pursue their dream. The majority of these kids can't draw worth a damn and have no clue about what it takes to make it as an artist there. I used to think it was just a fad appeal and that it would blow over. Made me wonder why kids like these weren't watching Disney or Pixar flicks flicks and saying they wanted to move down to Florida to work for them. Now I know. The level of nerdom in Japan overshadows the nerdom of Florida exponentially.



I think the kiddies think that Disney may have the Magic Kingdom, but Japan is the Magic Nation. They can sit and draw all the live long day and stay in a place like this.

I'm just thankful my young cousin Jacob hasn't fallen into this. He probably hasn't because he and his parents are all sane, rational people. Japan: seems like a lovely place to visit, but I wouldn't want to draw there.

WORLD AT LARGE

There's some crazy stuff going on around the world. Well, there usually is, but this could get really ugly. If you don't know that there's major protests going on in Egypt and that their government is on verge of a likely collapse then you really need to pay more attention. There's other protests popping up in Jordan and Libya. Egypt has killed the internet for its citizens because it was allowing them to get word out about what was happening and letting them organize to easily.



Egypt is a dictatorship. The people are sick of it and want reform. Obviously the dictator doesn't want that, so now we have protests that are getting very violent. Tunisia just had its government ousted and it looks like Egypt will follow suite.

But there's a problem. Assholes and bastards have taken notice and the potential for a power grab. The Muslim Brotherhood, who are dedicated Jihadists, have joined up with the protesters. This is bad because the Muslim Brotherhood has some organization and that alone can supply some stability if and when the current government collapses. This is bad. That's not even bringing into play the violence that has erupted, the artifacts in museums that have been destroyed, or the massive jailbreak.

America is in a tight spot because we know the current dictator is an asshole, but we also know that there's bigger assholes poised to seize power when he's gone. If we go in to try to help to make sure those assholes don't seize power we end up looking like imperialists who don't care about the Egyptian people.

This is why killing the internet is so dangerous right now. The people who were getting the world out don't know how many people here in America are pulling for them. Yes, there needs to be serious government reform there. No, we don't want a bunch of jihadist pricks taking over. I can do post after post, and tweet after tweet showing my support for the people who are living under a government they cannot tolerate. I truly hope for the best for the Egyptian people, because what's going on right now over there is going to have an impact over here.

We get our oil from that region, which is completely stupid, but the idiot hippies won't let us use our own resources and the government like to appease the idiot hippies. Energy is vital to the economy. Since we can't use our own, we're stuck having to deal with those who do have it, and these protests are going on right in the middle of things. So yes, we in America are affected by this. And don't start posting comment about alternative energy sources and driving your stupid electric cars. We are nowhere near ready to transfer over away from fossil fuel based energy resources. The technology isn't there.

But even that is down the road a bit. Right now there are people taking to the streets against a dictatorship and they don't know how many people around the world are sending them hopes, well wishes, and prayers.

Keep that in mind the next time you hear people talking about net neutrality and having a "kill switch" for the internet. Information is power. The Egyptian government took that power from its people this week.

MUSIC!!

While not a huge Joan Jett fan, this song is awesome. Easily as awesome as Megumi Fugii.



Thus completes our Sunday world tour. My continued hopes and prayers go out to the people of Egypt and I hope things turn out alright there. See y'all Wednesday.