The New FF makes me sick

Blarg. Its Friday, February 11, 2011, I'm still sick, and this is The Side. It could just be a nice 24 flu bug like a normal person. Oh NO! I had to get the week long marathon of coughing, mucus, and crankiness.

No comic reviews today since I haven't made it out of the house mush further than Walgreens. I'm hoping to have some up Sunday. In the meantime, we can still get our geek on.

NEW FF!!

For those who have have been paying attention to Marvel, and more specifically to THE FANTASTIC FOUR, you probably know that they've bumped off Johnny Storm AKA The Human Torch. The storyline has gotten a lot of praise from readers and critics. I haven't heard much fan outrage because pretty much everyone expects Johnny to be back sooner rather than later. Nobody stays dead anymore in comics.

This of course opens the door for the return of H.E.R.B.I.E. the robot who will be taking Johnny's place just he did in that old cartoon where I think they put him in because they were scared kids would try to light themselves on fire. Wait. They're not doing that? Oh.

So its time for the return of New Fantastic Four! That's right, Spider-man, The Hulk, Wolverine, and Ghost Rider together again to fight monsters and have big science action adventures! Wizard magazine would be feeling so vindicated over the press it gave this way back when if they weren't busy closing their own doors. Wait. That's not happening either? Ah, but I am 1/4 right!



Spider-man will be joining up with the remaining members of the FF to form "The Future Foundation". The new costume designs are pretty sweet, although it doesn't really look that good on The Thing. Orange and white only really look good on a cream-sycle. Spidey's costume looks sharp. Its well designed, very different from any other costume he's worn in the past, but you can tell its Spidey just by looking at it.

I like the idea of Spidey on this team. He's usually used as such a street level character, but he comes into play with some of the great big science action stories in Marvel. I remember seeing a reference to the battle in which Thanos was turned into Granite and Adam Warlock died. There were all these big league superheroes there and I wondered how Spider-man got caught up in all of that. Spider-man is a science hero. He may not be as smart as a Tony Stark or a Reed Richards, but he's definitely no slouch. I like seeing him in these type of stories, because he's very much and everyman character and that let's the reader in on the story in a more accessible way. Johnny did much the same thing. I think that's part of the reason that I really bought into the friendship the two characters had.

If it wasn't for financial restraints I would actually buy this book, which would make it my first Marvel purchase in nearly 15 years. Its not because they killed off a character that I love. Its because (much like Morrison did with Batman) they're managing to do something interesting after he's gone.

MUSIC!!!

Back when 96X first hit the airwaves in this town it played music like no other station in town did. It was weird and different, and no much unlike the well worn rock tunes the more mainstream stations played ad nauseum. It was the beginning of alternative rock and this song was one of the one's leading the way.



That's a wrap for today in my week long misery. I'm going to go hunt for some chicken soup. See y'all Sunday.

Blind man's blog

It's Sunday, February 6, 2011, I can't see a damn thing, and this is The Side. I hate it when I wake up in the morning reach over to the nightstand and my glasses aren't there. That is where they should be because I place them there every night when I go to bed. So, I'm stumbling around, and squinting like Mister Magoo.

So, where are my glasses, and why aren't they on the nightstand? The answer is simple, really.

You see, despite being poor, white trash I am a powerful and feared individual. When you possess the mountain of importance that I possess you become a target for those you either want your power or those you horrible things to to gain power. I know the Anti-Nozz protests have for the most part been peaceful, but there are a few kooks out there. I wouldn't put it past any of them to break into my house while I was asleep and steal my glasses in an effort to make me more vulnerable. There has been no less than five assassination attempts on me while I sleep, but since I am the illegitimate son of Keith Richards I cannot be killed by conventional weaponry. The Missus is spared from any such attempts as she looks so darned cute when she's asleep.

Now without my glasses I believe my detractors will believe me vulnerable and will soon enough call me out into the street to face them in unarmed combat pitting their fighting skills and martial arts prowess against mine as most of my detractors are ninjas. There was a heavy contingency of pirates in the mob too, but they pissed off after I kicked their drunken asses. Pirates suck. They kept whining about how things would have gone different if we were at sea. Buncha Marys.

Back to the ninjas, those glasses stealing sons of bitches. They're all pissed off because I've said online repeatedly how much ninjas suck and how they can't fight their way out of a wet paper bag. Please note that them stealing my glasses is only reaffirming my statements that they can't fight worth a damn. And if they think for one moment that I won't beat eight shades of shit outta them without my glasses then they're in for a surprise.

You don't see the hippies pulling stupid stuff like this. I'm sure they're busy bitching about corporations, trying to get the government to run everything, and being miserable bastards about everything. They keep right on complaining between joints and only really get nasty around Christmas time since they worships trees and no one ever gets them presents for Arbor Day. This right here is why we can't legalize marijuana, because if we did we could round up potheads and beat them with hoses no more. Nothing puts a spring in your step like beating a pothead with a good rubber hose.

Screw this. I'm going to go find the prick ninja that stole my glasses and thump him proper. Too bad ninjas are such a secretive bunch as the YouTube video of this would be awesome.

MY EYES!!!

Sure enough I've gotten my glasses back. Ninjas, as I always say, are a bunch of sissies. Unfortunately, I got my glasses back just in time to see pictures from the impending Spider-man film.



Great. I get my glasses back just in time to gouge my eyes out.

BEATINGS!!

Big weekend in sports this weekend. I hear there's a football game being played somewhere, but the heck with that. It was fight night last night. It was a little bittersweet for me. Anderson Silva kept his title, which annoys me because I don't really like the guy, however he won it with one of the techniques which I constantly stress the importance of to my students. Its pretty much me feeling validated in what I teach, I just wish his opponent was the one who threw it.

But more fun was watching the co-main event. It was another case of me liking both the fighters so whoever won I was happy. Rich Franklin is a class act and one of the top fighters in the world. Forrest Griffin is a big goof, and lots of fun to watch. We all have a soft spot for ol Forrest. His self deprecating attitude and sheer love for what he does makes him quite a character. He's a former champion, and that's due to another thing I always preach to my students: practice.

Forrest is one of the hardest working guys in mixed martial arts. They've had to kick him out of the gym and take his keys away to make him go home. Franklin also is incredibly dedicated and trains hard. So this made for a great fight that went the distance and both guys giving it their all for three rounds. Forrest won by decision, which was well deserved and hard earned, but what happened after the fight really stand out.

He didn't toot his own horn. He didn't trash talk. He didn't even plug his book (Joe Rogan did it for him). Before his hand was raised he and Franklin were smiling and joking with each other. It was like two guys at the dojo who just got done with a fun sparing session. That's the kind of attitude you like to see. That's what makes it a real sport and not a spectacle. This isn't guys in their back yard brawling anymore. That looks more like this.



OK, maybe not exactly like that. Still, hats off to Forrest Griffin for being and entertaining fighter and being a great dude to be a fan of.

MUSIC!!

Time for a bump and grind number.



That's the whole nine yards for today. Everyone enjoy the Super Bowl tonight. Stay safe. We'll see y'all Wednesday.

Black Spider-man?

And no I'm not referring to the costume that turned Tobey Maguire emo*AHEM*evil in that last movie. Nope, there's a twitter campaign to get a black actor to play Spider-man in the forthcoming movie reboot. Of course, I can't say anything bad about this or I'll be labeled a racist by stupid people.

Well hell, wouldn't be the first time.

To be fair, the majority of the superhero genre is white people on parade in tights. However more racially diverse characters have been introduced over the years. Most kids recognize John Stewart (a black man) as Green Lantern. Other characters have had their identities pasted on to ethnic characters such as Firestorm (black), The Atom (Asian), and The Blue Beetle (Latino). Now, it is true that DC is bringing back its older characters to appease an older demographic, which is an unintentional blow against racial diversity in comics. Still, the three characters I mentioned had strong followings. General readership is perfectly ready to accept a non-cracker superhero.

But, a black Spider-man?

Spidey's own webs aren't this sticky? There has never been a black Spider-man in comics. Stan Lee and Steve Dikto's creation was a white kid. Grew up to be a white guy as many white kids tend to do. The idea of a black actor playing Spider-man is probably going to piss off the fanboys. It seems like pandering a bit to me. But if the actor can nail the role there's no real reason not to cast him, well aside from everyone making a stir about his skin color. If he doesn't get the role, will the people casting the movie be considered racist? Will Al Sharpton be boycotting the next Spider-man movie?

This is going to be the start of something annoying. I feels it in my nerd bones.

Sane person in the madhouse.

So, I missed reading SEAGUY, but others have not. And while the hot buzz may be about Barry Allen returning and taking over the FLASH comic fortunately there's a lovely alternative. For those interested in a stunning review of SEAGUY you should go here.

Now, there's a bit in there that I'd like to address, and while I considered doing so by way of a comment in his blog, this way he may get a bit more traffic, and frankly his blog deserves it.

SeaGuy might seem a comic as mad as the doctors think SeaGuy is, but I'm increasingly convinced that it's what superhero comics look like in the 2009 where the industry isn't crazy.

Accessible but challenging, self-contained but richly intertextual, imaginative but disciplined.

In the sane 2009, the one where truly psychopathic books like Battle for the Cowl: Man-Bat or Bomb Queen V don't exist, then the racks are filled with superhero comics that're just like SeaGuy (whilst also being totally different).

We've hit the point in the comic industry where good story-telling has declared open war on fan service. The weird part is that it's not the comic readers that are getting the fan service. Decrees have come done from the editor-in-chiefs of the big two as to what we are supposed to like. It does not matter that Wally West grew up and has been the Flash for the last twenty-four years when the Dan DiDio likes Barry Allen better. It does not matter that people have enjoyed seeing Peter Parker settle down and be a family man all the while balancing keeping his city safe when Joe Quesada likes the idea of Pete as a bachelor better. Change is coming! And we're supposed to like it. They tell us to.

The stories are not as important as the event surrounding the story. And the stories had better be worth getting that extra masthead across the top or it's just not grand enough. But really, it doesn't have to be a good story, it just has to tie into a better story enough that people might think they're missing something for not purchasing it. Oh, and the ending of that better story, the one that has the editor so excited, had better end just like he likes it, or it's going to get changed.

I'm all for accessible, yet challenging storytelling. Unfortunately, the really good stuff seems to be going over the heads of those that have the power to let it see print. Thank goodness for Vertigo.