Please don't find my family

I'm adopted. Its a very open fact. I was told of this when I was about three and questioned my mother as to where I came from. This lead my adolescent imagination to cook up many fantasies as to the circumstances of my adoption involving royalty or often covert spies. Having this knowledge was in no way traumatic for me growing up. I had a good family and was happy for the most part. I think a lot of emotional problems we hear about adoptees comes from them not having that knowledge growing up. It can affect the trust in the family.

In my twenties I did acquire the paperwork to try to find my biological parents. This wasn't done due to curiosity. It's kind of scary sometimes not having a family medical history. I didn't discuss this with my family. It just didn't seem right. I threw the papers away after mulling it over for a couple of months. Finding out my medical history wasn't worth opening that door. I'm sure my parents would support me if I did attempt to seek out my biological parents, and they may be a bit surprised that I haven't attempted it. I never asked them many questions about it. That seemed disrespectful. I had a little information as to the circumstances and the reasons I was adopted. I also know that my name used to be "Steven". I prefer my current name. Thanks, Dad.

I'm writing about this because of the new ABC reality show "Find My Family". That show weirds me right the fuck out. Even the ads for it skeeve me out. Meagan's noticed it and asked me about it. She doesn't push, bless her, but I know she's concerned that there's something brewing with me because I look at the ads for that show the same way most people look at horrible car accidents.

It freaks me out that someone could show up on my doorstep one day and claim to be my relative or representing my biological parents. I have enough going on in my life. I don't need that. I don't care if it turns out that I am indeed Dave Grohl's long lost brother and there's wealth waiting to be showered upon me. No thanks. You can keep it. Jog on.

Had a buddy of mine track down his biological family. It wasn't a magical moment on a flower covered hill like on that show. It sounded pretty rough. He really needed to know the answers to the questions on the other side of that door. It's not weakness. I'm not better than him for not wanting to know. I'm not claiming any superiority for not wanting to know. I just don't need those answers to my past, because they come with a baggage and a lot of it.

So, in the incredibly minuscule chance that there's some ABC producer that sees this looking to do a bit of research because someone is trying to find me: stay the hell away from me. I neither want nor need any of it.