The Ballad of Steve and Larry

Saw this video.  Made a comment about making a fan-fiction, and so of course I had to do it.

It was a tense day in the far away land known has Minnesota. Queen Ashley looked to skies which were hazy and odd looking, like the distorted dreams of one who had eaten too much pie. She feared for her subjects, many of whom were too busy looking at cat videos to take note of the possible, impending threat. The noble queen stood atop the outer wall of her keep with a cool evening breeze blowing through her blonde hair. She pondered what was to come, much like she pondered the severity of hangovers after nights of much hearty beer.

It was then that the enemy struck. It was trolls. Hundreds of them. They brayed and screeched; yowling to the heavens about the queen’s editing and content. They shouted how she was derivative and added nothing of value to the ether of ideas that swirled through the world. The queen knew that her loyal subjects would rise up to defend her, but she also knew too well the harsh consequences that could come from such skirmishes. Insults would be hurled. There would be flames; OH how there would be flames.

Well, if the trolls wanted flames, then flames Queen Ashley would give them. The foolish trolls must not have known that her realm was protected. The cool evening breeze strengthened to a gust; a gust which could only be caused by the mighty dragon, Larry! As Ashley took to the highest tower to survey the coming battle, Larry swooped overhead. His passing made her hair and dress wave and dance like parking tickets before a leaf blower. His mighty, green wings carried him straight towards the troll hoard.

The trolls unleashed their battle cry of “Tits or GTFO!” and the sky was then filled with spears and arrows aimed at the noble lizard. With one flap, Larry created a mighty wind which scattered the spears and arrows. Still the taunts came. Still the torches were waved. Larry belched forth a mighty fireball which sent the little hobgoblins scurrying and squealing, like a tween girl in the face of an annoying Canadian pop star. Larry took pride in his earnest work defending the realm of Queen Ashley and it smiled as best it could. Still, he was a dragon and even smiling he looked like he was ready to eat someone. He spied a tasty looking morsel of a troll. The troll was a fat one, fresh from his underground dwelling beneath the home of his parents. Larry swooped down to gobble up the smelly bastard.

It was then that disaster struck. The trolls had an ace up their sweat-stained sleeve. A mimetic catapult hurled a ridiculously overused image and words which were somehow meant to be clever at Larry. Caught unawares, the dragon was struck hard and crashed down to the cold ground of the battle. He struggled to regain his composure before the trolls overtook him. Then came the chants from the hoard. “FAIL!”

Queen Ashley could not let her noble ally be taken by the horrid, unwashed masses. She hurried to the deepest dwelling of the keep. There she came to her realm’s ultimate defense: the Supreme Tactical Electronic Vindication Engine. Standing before it she uttered the activation voice command “Hey there” and with a wink of her pretty eyes the behemoth came to life.

Rising up from the depths of the keep, S.T.E.V.E. the robot strode towards the battle. He was bright and shiny with flashing lights and waving arms. “WTF?!,” howled the troll hoard before S.T.E.V.E. scattered them with one swing of his mighty, slinky-looking robot arm. This allowed plenty of time for Larry to compose himself and once again take to the skies.

The mighty robot and noble dragon could not be swayed or deterred by the verbal barbs and incessant flames of their annoying foes. Queen Ashley retook her post in the high tower and looking down upon the scene of the trolls retreating to her dank dwellings with Larry and S.T.E.V.E. is pursuit. A smile played at her ruby lips as she uttered the cry of victory. “PWN’D!”

Joe Bereta > Batman

If you've paid attention to pop culture-y type things you likely heard about flap over Media from the Pixar movie BRAVE getting a makeover.  SourceFed did a piece about it.

I like leaving comments on such things, and I did.

What have we learned from this? Always be yourself. Unless you can be Joe. Then be Joe.

 Joe of course being SourceFed host Joe Bereta.  My comment was quickly responded with an "Or Batman" from another user.  The implication of course being that if you could be either Joe or Batman you may want to be Batman.

"Balderdash", says I.

Joe Bereta is obviously the easy pick over Batman.  Now, before you go naysaying me and calling me a damn liar, allow me to present my evidence.

First, it is apparent that Joe has telepathic powers, or at least some sort of psychic rapport with fellow SourceFed host, Elliot Morgan.  That is the only way to explain this;

As we all know Batman has no telepahic powers, nor a psychic rapport with Elliot Morgan that we know of.

Second, Joe regularly does a segment called "Feelin' Good" in which he takes a look at news stories that are uplifting.

Last time Batman was feelin' good he had been dosed with Joker Venom.

Third, is Joe's professionalism.  Batman seems to lose his edge around beautiful women, especially Catwoman.  This isn't good!  She's a criminal!  And yet Batman can't seem to keep it together enough to bring her justice.  Then there's Joe who has to deal with not one, not two, but THREE drop dead gorgeous women on a daily basis!

If Batman had to be around Trisha Hershberger, Meg Turney, and/or Lee Newton for any amount of time, he wouldn't be able to remember his own name much less do anything productive.  Such is the mountain of self-control Joe possesses.

Forth, Batman has been the topic of much debate as to whether or not he could defeat Superman.  There is no such debate as to whether or not Joe could defeat Superman.  As such, Joe ellicits no fanboy ragegasms, thus adding to internet civility.

Fifth, this is Batman with a beard.

This is Joe with a beard.

Any questions?

Sixth and final, no matter what happens, no one and I mean NO ONE, can reboot Joe Bereta.

Attack of the Internet!!!

Head's up! Its Sunday July 3, 2011, I'm still sick, but don't care no more, and this is The Side! I am dragging like a pathetic bastard, but i must drag on because out of nowhere the world decided to be insanely cool and interesting!!! There's so much going on so let's jump right into the mix of things.

GOOGLE+!!!

Google rolled out its Beta for its new social network, Google+, this week. I wasn't paying attention, and made a joke about being snubbed for not getting an invite to try it out. After all, I do host the legendary Google Buzz Tournies so I should be an obvious choice to try it out. Next thing I know one of my followers hooks me up with an invite and I'm in there like swimwear.

This thing is freaking slick.

OK, there's going to be a ton of comparisons to Facebook, so let's just jump on those right now. First up: networking. One of the things that I don't like about Facebook is the Friending thing. "Friend me!" "We're friends!" "Friend this person!" And then there's there's the always awkward "Well, why didn't you friend your Aunt Harriet?" There's people who make multiple Facebook accounts just for the sake of information sequestration. Because some people do want their family members to be on their Facebook so they can all keep in touch, but they want to share the pictures of that awesome night in Vegas with their buddies and those pictures at the nudie bar aren't quite appropriate for Grandma or little cousin Timmy. Google+ has got that all figured out with their Circles. You have multiple Circles for however you want to categorize and sort your contacts. You can have a Circle for family members, a Circle for Friends, and a Circle for people you know but aren't really tight with. I created a Circle for my buddies on there that I talk comics and other fun geeky stuff with. You can check out the feeds for just specific Circles to make information sorting a breeze as well as just share certain posts with specific Circles. You can also put people in multiple Circles, so if you create a Circle for your specific interests, and you have one contact on there that shares a couple of your interests, you can put them in both circles. This way you can can post stuff for your family without your friends all jumping in there, and put up a post about that great night at the bar without a disapproving comment from your mom. And the great part is that they don't know what Circle you put them in. That's your business not theirs. We did find out that you can only get 5000 people in one Circle. So I guess nothing's perfect.

Something really awesome for G+ (As wee cool kids call it) is the picture sharing. Its a little slow on the upload, but it more than makes up for it in picture quality. That and the unlimited space for pictures. Makes me want to post a ton of artwork. My buddy, Cass, on there is a photographer and he's loving this.

This is Google, and Google is all about information, so they have Sparks. These are your interests, and G+ will give you a feed of news stories related to your interests which you can share with your circles with just a couple of clicks.

Something I haven't tried out is Hangouts in which up to ten people can have a video chat using their webcams. People that have tried it called it "Skype without all the numbers". Then someone took it to the next level. He created an open hangout for anyone to join in. A Chinese fella hopped on and kind of lurked. It was obvious he didn't speak English. The guy who started the hangout, brought up Google Translate, typed in part of the conversation and hit the "Listen" button. Google did its thing and then with a little bit of lag the Chinese guy was in on the conversation. It translated the text and his speakers piped it out in mandarin loud and clear. His microphone picked it up and bingo. Now, that is some exciting stuff. Keep in mind, G+ is still in Beta testing. Someone does something like this, and its going to get noticed.

Facebook does have something that G+ doesn't, and that's games. So, no Farmville for you if you go on there. That may change later. Its hard to tell at this point. Right now though it is really nice to be on there and not see in my info stream that someone reached a new level in whatever game they're playing, or get a bunch of invites to game I don't care about, or get virtual farm equipment, or whatever. I'm quite happy with that.

Here's the bottom line: Google+ let's you share what you want to share with who you want to share it with. And its does it in a nice and easy manner. I don't know if it'll be a "Facebook Killer" because I don't see a casual internet user who just wants to keep in touch with a few people and play Angry Birds jumping on this, but if you want good, clean, and slick social networking, this is definitely the way to go.

BOOKS!!

See this book? It is, as I type this, the number one seller on Amazon and Barnes and Nobles.com. Held that spot for a few days now. Here's the kicker: it doesn't exist. Yet. The cover was created by a fan of the writer. The book is still being worked on, and is due out next spring. The writer, John Greene, has a very strong following not only from being a best selling author but from producing videos thrice weekly with his brother on a variety of subjects.

He's got a large and fiercely loyal following to the point that upon announcing finally deciding upon a title for his new novel and stating that he would personally sign every pre-order copy of the first edition, this thing shot out of no where and straight to number one. Now that, my friends, is one helluva good trick. He's understandably thrilled about it. His brother is quite thrilled to the point of humping half the inanimate objects in town, which he then uploaded the evidence of said humping to YouTube. I'd link to this video, but its more than a little too much humping of inanimate objects than I am comfortable with.

Moral of the story: the internet is indeed a powerful thing. I have a modest following online, but its one I do greatly appreciate. Were I to announce that I am releasing a graphic novel of my comics, that following would generate a few sales. Nothing on the scale that John Greene has accomplished, but that's how things work now. There has to be a presence that your fanbase can interact with. The Greene brothers have it with their fanbase, the Nerdfighters, and that fanbase is completely down with mobilizing to support each other and Greene boys' endeavors. I'm not quite jealous, but more than a little in awe.

John Greene did not forget to be awesome.

YOUTUBERY!!

YouTube is having a competition called Next Up. The winner get basically everything they'll need to really become the next big thing on YouTube: funding, training, profession equipment. Well, guess who got through...



Yep, that's our pal Lee running a victory lap through his house. He's a great guy. I like him. I like the videos he makes. He showed off a picture I drew. He's the kind of guy that really should win this thing. So please, go to his page, find the link in the video description to take you to where you can vote for him and do so. You can vote once per day, and that's exactly what I'm going to do.

MUSIC!!!

Going with some Counting Crows this time around, and you might be thinking that its because I've have a pretty miserable week with being sick and still having to suck it up and go to work, so I'm going to play some soulful woe-is-dudes tune.

Screw that, time to rock.



That's everything from me today. No thoughts from last night's UFC because I'm still feeling lousy and needed some rest. I heard it was some great fights though. I hope everyone enjoys the rest of the weekend. Have a fun and safe Fourth of July. See y'all Wednesday.

YouTube Sensation!

Whew. Been a trying few days. Having to hustle off to work earlier makes it a bit difficult to get stuff typed up. But that doesn't mean I'm not busy. Got a couple of notions that I'm going to try to flesh out and make something happen with. We'll see how it goes.

But I'm not just thinking about stuff , I'm doing stuff, because its Wednesday, June 22, 2011, Summer is here, and can sod right off, and this is The Side.

INTERNET FAMOUS!!

Lee over on REALITYB1TES on YouTube has a fairly empty background when he makes his videos, and he's been asked to put something on there. I offered to draw a picture for it. It was kinda a pain getting it sent over since Fed-Ex is stupid, but thanks to some patience and the U.S. Postal service, whom I should have gone to in the first place, it made it!



I kinda doubt it'll be a fixture on his wall, but its pretty cool seeing something I drew on YouTube. It had been a while since I drew something. I still love drawing, but my hands ached, like arthritis or something. Worrisome.

Maybe I need to draw more to rid myself of such problems.

DEALING WITH PEOPLE

I'm really starting to wonder about the people at convenience stores. I wrote before about the nutter whom asked if I had ever plucked a chicken when I was trying to pay her for my drink at a 7-11. That's how she greeted me: "Have you ever plucked a chicken?" So I was wondering if there was some sort of mental evaluation that she slipped through somehow.

Now, I'm wondering if they check for social skills. Yesterday, I was getting a Gatorade at a 7-11 and I noticed the person in line behind me. She was short. I did a double take because she was a height of a child, maybe around four feet tall, but was obviously a nurse. She was dressed in scrubs, and carried herself like a professional woman. Caught me off guard a bit, and she noticed the double-take, so I offered her a courteous "Good morning." She nodded.

I imagine she's used to people noticing her because of her height. She was gracious about. She was quite attractive as well. I probably wouldn't have though any more about it if the weird broad behind the counter hadn't made a comment as she placed her purchase on the counter. "Is that everything, Mini-Me."

The woman made not indication whatsoever that she even knew the woman. She simply paid and left. It didn't seem like they knew each other.

Who does that? Who in the service industry simply calls a customer a nickname? I don't know if the young lady was offended. She certainly wasn't smiling when she left the store. I'm sure the woman behind the counter, who was a manager no less, felt very clever.

But, like the "chicken plucker lady" she probably needs a job where the public doesn't have to deal with her.

MUSIC!!

Was driving home yesterday, and my route took me down a particularly tricky stretch of road. Lots of sharp turns, and if you go off the road, you're likely going to end up in a ditch. My mom was scared of that road because when she was a kid she heard that a witch lived on there somewhere.

I was going around a tight "S" turn, which you've got to be careful on because its pretty tight and the trees around it are dense enough that you can't see what's around the corner. So I didn't see the accident until I was right on it. A motorcycle had lost control and swerved into the front of a station wagon. Bike was it the ditch. The rider was lying by the road. The guy in the station wagon was alright, but a bit shook. I pulled over and called 911. By the time I told the operator where we were the rider was on his feet. Just a couple of scratches. The bike was banged up, but pretty much in decent shape. I helped get it out of the ditch. The rider sneezed and lost control.

Pretty sure I won't be getting a motorcycle, like, ever. This song was on the radio when I got back in my car.



I get the feeling that's going to be one of those things that changes the song's context for me. Whenever I hear it, I'll end up thinking of that accident.

That's the ballgame for me today. Thanks again for sticking with me and I'll see y'all Friday.

Captain America loves Chick-Fil-A

*COUGH! HACK! WEEZE!* Its Wednesday, January 9, 2011, I'm sick as all get out, and this is The Side. The dreaded Chinchilla Flu has descended upon the Nozz compound. We're all sick and miserable. I've yet to find the proper medication that allows me to be particularly clever, so onward we go.

NOMNOMNOM!!!

I love Chick-Fil-A. I typically eat there at least once a week. The food is great. The staff is always friendly. It's got a good health rating. Pretty much a win all the way around. So when I found out that there were people planning to boycott it this got my attention. Seems a Chick-Fil-A provided catering to a group that is against gay marriage. So, obviously everyone at Chick-Fil-A and those people that eat there are a bunch of homophobes and bigots.

Well go right ahead and lump me on in there too, because I'm gonna keep on eating there.

Obviously if someone has a problem with with Chick-Fil-A then they shouldn't eat there. But the slanderous crap is just idiotic. That high school kid behind the counter taking your order most likely doesn't have an opinion on the subject. They're just working and doing their best to provide good service. That lady with her kids stopping in there for lunch doesn't care about gay marriage when they were choosing where to go. There are no signs up denouncing gay marriage. It was just one store that provided catering to a seminar.

Now there's dopes saying they won't eat at the chain again until they provide a donation or catering to a group supporting gay marriage. Well, I hope they aren't holding their breaths because that's not going to happen. There's not enough ticked off people to make a dent in Chick-Fil-A's business. This is like that stupid boycott of Target a while back. It went absolutely nowhere.

So, if you don't want to eat there anymore, that's fine. However, if you want to call people bigots just for working there or eating there, you can get bent.

YOUTUBERY!!!

I have seen the future, and it involves hamster powered mech armor!!



And while I'm tossing around some YouTube vids, here's the teaser for the Captain America movie.

MUSIC!!

As the dreaded Chinchilla Flu has been kicking my ass this week I've been on the hunt for a perfect drug to make me feel better.



That's it for today. I'm going to go take a bunch of drugs now. See y'all Friday.

GSP is #4?

Its Sunday, December 12, 2010, I over slept, and this is The Side. I hate over sleeping. Its a pet peeve of mine. Its one thing if I wake up utterly exhausted and decide that I need another hour of shut eye. Its another if I wake up to discover that the kids have been playing with the volume on the clock radio and we forgot to check it before hitting the sheets.

I did probably need an extra hour of rest since I was up late watching George St. Pierre punch Josh Koscheck in the face about two hundred times. I was hoping for a broken face for Koscheck to the point of him not being able to talk, but after the whuppin' he was surprisingly incredibly gracious.

In Karate I preach to my students that if someone comes after you with circular techniques, use straight line techniques. Koschecks biggest weapon is his right hand which he always throws in a circular motion. Its devestating and has knocked plenty of guys out. So, what does the Kyokushinkai Karate Black Belt GSP do? Straight jab and repeated as necessary. I sat at my cousin's house, watching the clinic on "how to defend you welterweight title belt" smiling not just becauseone of my favorite fighters won, but because good Karate tactics got validated yet again.

MOVIES!!

A trailer for I AM NUMBER FOUR got featured on YouTube the other day and i checked it out. This was my first time seeing anything about this.



On YouTube, for those of you who have never been there (I heard you exist), there's a place to comment about the videos. Browsing through the comment I saw that many were comparing this movie with TWILIGHT. So I obviously had to read every TWILIGHT book and watch every movie to see if this comparison is accurate.

Yeah. Right.

Many people prefer to compare then describe. Maybe it stems from not being able to accurately describe what we've witnessed so we revert to using well known experiences as a shorthand to give a representation of what this new experience input made us feel. Maybe some folks have an inability to use adjectives. I don't know.

Both properties stem from books aimed at teenagers. Both feature protagonists that try to hide in high schools. Both have the protagonists fall in love with someone they met in that high school. But after that, they seem to both go on very different paths. I'm not sure how vampire struggling not to eat his loved one equates to alien guy trying not to get ganked by other aliens, but there we have it.

So, the comparison has a little merit, but is flimsy at best. That said, I AM NUMBER FOUR looks like a fun flick and one I wouldn't mind checking out.

MUSIC!!

These fellows bear consideration.



Yeah, I know it was a short one this go around. I'll try harder next time, coach! See y'all Wednesday.

Its Whedon's Universe, we just geek out in it....

Gobble gobble. Its Wednesday, November 24, 2010, tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and this is The Side.

So what am I thankful for?

I'm thankful to be working steadily. I'm thankful to have a roof over my head and food in my family's bellies. I'm thankful for my family and friends. I'm thankful to all my followers on here. There's ten times more of you now than last year. Some of you are still strangers to me, others are friends, a few of you I see as family, and you know who you are.

So to everyone, enjoy the holiday with your loved ones, and travel safe.

SCIENCE!!

So, I'm thinking about the origin of the Universe, and how it relates to Batman, which typically would be insane, but this times its not (HA!) because Greg Rucka was the one who posted the link.



A universe that existed before our own? Nonsense, you say? PIFFLE! Because we all know Galactus survived the Big Bang so something had to be there, right? And let's not even start on the thingie with CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS, or ZERO HOUR since as it stands a fairly mundane superhero caused the Big Band. Sorry to all the Damage fans out there. All eight of you.

Seriously, a lot of the comics I've read put forth a lot of fun stuff about time. Recently Batman was at the end of time in which the last outpost was being destroyed by the heat death of the universe. The Flash once outran death by running forward in time and looping back to the beginning of time and finally making it back to the present. The big bang has also been shown in comics to have an opposite number "The Big Crunch", which I'm fairly certain Wolverine has survived.

Here's the theory, the Big Bang happened and the universe has been expanding since. But at some point, that expansion will stop and everything will begin to be drawn back into a single point, at which time things will get very crowded. There's also a thought that this cycle is like a loop so on some insane-o cosmic time table this could all have happened before and will happen again.

But that's how the universe is, and that's why I love it so. There's always stuff blowing up, or something getting sucked into something. And there's the weird crap that no one's quite sure what the hell is going on with. And we find thing out there, that might contain or be suitable for sustaining life. Then there's our gas giant planets with cool rings and spots running interference for us with their insane gravity wells to prevent space crap from smashing into us more than it does.

Oh, and Pluto might be a planet again, which is awesome because it'll always be a planet to me. I love Pluto.

And sometimes I worry that in the center of the Milky Way Galaxy there is a mother of a black hole sucking everything in and we're circling the drain at an insane speed, but its all so big that we don't notice it. I don't know why I worry about that.

But I do think its cool, because its reality. Reality is everything that exists in space and the events that occur in time. While reality TV mostly sucks, reality itself can be pretty damned epic.

It also makes for excellent fodder for writing comics.

YOUTUBERY!!

Chad, Matt, and Rob have been at it again. Go have some fun, but remember, its not shampoo, it's fuel.

BIZARRO BUFFY!!

As I discussed before, there is a new BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER MOVIE in the works, and it has nothing to do with Joss Whedon who created the character. This came as upseting news to many long time fans. But what does Whedon himself really think? Well, someone asked him, and he answered. So for those wailing and gnashing their teeth about the matter, take a cue from your Lord and Master, Whedon: just laugh at it. It's not the first time Hollywood has sought to cash in on something with an existing fanbase and screwed the pooch. That's why there's a pretty cool looking Kung-Fu movie out now on DVD called "THE KARATE KID".

Still, our sympathy goes out to Joss, that poor guy, as he deals with what's being done with his creation while still soldiering on to work on THE AVENGERS movie. Hopefully that movie will be enough to keep a little food on his table. Its hard being a struggling writer in these tough economic times.

MUSIC!!

Because Thanksgiving is all about family, being thankful, eating turkey and an old hippie with a guitar.




OK, that's it. I'm getting in my car and heading to the mountain in about an hour or so. You have the weekend off from my insanity, but I expect you all back here next Wednesday sharpish. See ya, then.

Things I'm watching and things I'm not

Stone me. Its Friday, August 27, 2010 and there's a distinct lack of comics in here for a Friday. This would be because I have not gotten my comics this week. Yes, I know, I'm a bad little nerd, however payday is today and I'll have some reviews for y'all on Sunday.

CAN'T UNPLUG!!!

Last time I tossed in a link to a news story about people who were just addicted to cable. One guy tried to go a year without cable relying on the internet to see the shows he liked. Ultimately after that year he went back and got cable again. As I said in that article, I don't have cable and haven't had cable for years. In fact it was only recently that I've been able to watch CBS. That's right, I've missed season upon season of SURVIVOR and BIG BROTHER. And yet, I've found myself able to function in society. Just fascinating.

Does this mean that I use the internet to see TV shows that I can't watch due to my lack of cable? Nope. There's just too many funny cat videos on YouTube so I just don't have the time. That's right, I've never seen THE SHIELD, THE WIRE, RESCUE ME, BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, BREAKING BAD, or DEXTER. Well, I have seen BATTLESTAR GALACTICA but it was the version with Face from THE A-TEAM on it. So, all the TV shows that people talk about, I ain't seen 'em. And I don't care to either. I've got enough to watch without them.

And its not just TV. Ask an iPhone user 'what would they do without their iPhone'. I had a Blackberry for a while. It was too much phone and too big a bill. That $25 bucks a month for internet on my phone could buy a few comics instead. It was useful on occasion, but ultimately unnecessary.

Communications technology has snowballed faster than our other tech. I can answer the question 'what did you do before cell phones'. Some people can't. There's a generation coming up that has no clue about life before cell phones. But then, there were countless generations before me that had no clue about life with indoor plumbing.

But there's a bit of a difference between technology that's practical and useful, and something that's just there to entertain you. People think they're slick dumping cable to watch shows online, well, you're still paying money aren't you? Take how much it costs for a good fast internet connection, plus the fees for the sites that let you watch what you want to watch. Compare that to your cable bill. How much money are you really saving?

And it doesn't really matter how much you pay, you're still looking at a blank screen when the lights go out.

There you have it: a lecture about TV addition from a guy going through the DTs because he hasn't gotten his comic fix this week.

YOUTUBERY!!!

A few cool things popped up this week. The SCOTT PILGRIM movie may have flopped at the box office, but it did spawn something that quite a bit of fun.



Second up is the second episode of Black Box TV starring YouTube darling and professional cute girl iJustine. Go over there and watch it. YouTube has a ton of comedy videos on it, but there's a serious lack of good, creepy storytelling. So, this project needs some support.

MUSIC!!!

Sticking with some Superhero themed rock this week. There's no need to fear...



That's a whole nine yards for today. See you Sunday when I'll hopefully have my act together. I wouldn't put money on that though.

Internet Douchebaggery

Its Sunday, August 22, 2010 and unfortunately I have no pretty pictures for you in today's Side due to in-climate weather. This is completely true because my internet goes down whenever it rains. Don't get me started as to what it does to my TV reception with my spiffy digital television that we were told was so great.

As you can probably tell, I'm feeling just spiffy today, so its time to spread the love.

EEEEEEVIL FACEBOOK!!!

For those of you out there that aren't convinced that Mark Zuckerburg is the e-Satan, he's doing more to try make sure that you do. Facebook now is more than just about who you are and what you are doing, it wants to know where you are. In a creepy new application if you go somewhere, like to the movies, you can "check in" meaning your "friends" will know where you are. I say "friends" because really if you put anything on Facebook you can count on the whole world knowing. To make things even more creepy other people can sign you into places. So if you're out playing miniature golf with someone and they decide that want to 'check in' where they are on Facebook, and you're Facebook friends with them, they can check you in too.

Of course, you can go into your own Facebook account to make sure your settings prevent such things from happening. Doing so requires knowing exactly where to look, what to do, and the blood sacrifice of a puppy. For those that don't know, the privacy default settings on everything on Facebook is "public" meaning everyone can see it.

The Missus was looking a picture on Facebook and sure enough there a bunch of people doing what most people are doing in Facebook pictures, drinks. The names of the people popped up as she scrolled over there names. Now, I'm for those in the picture drinking and having a good time I'm sure they're fondly thinking about that good time and think its just neat-o that their name pops up when they scroll over their image in a picture. Yeah, because facial recognition software is just giggles and kittens.

If the Government wanted to know who you are, what you are doing, and where you are all the time people would be up in arms. It sounds like something out of a dystopian future sci-fi story. But people are lining up like lemmings and volunteering this information out without any regard for who might see it and how it could be used against them. I'm seeing stories in the news about people getting fired from their jobs because of things they posted on their Facebook and things that were meant to be private jokes among a small group end up in the hands of employers. This is a site run by a guy who truly feels like the concept of privacy in the 21st century with all of our new communications tech is outmoded.

Oh and if you have a Facebook account and this piece got you rethinking it wisdom in having one, have fun hunting down the option to delete your account (and remember deleting and deactivating the account are two different things), and also enjoy the two week waiting period until that account actually deactivates. Be prepared to explain to your friends on there why you "unfriended" them.

YOUTUBERY!!

A new study tells me that there's some people on YouTube making some pretty good money. This study lists there top ten earners on YouTube who make original content and they're all making six figures. However, this list is complete crap from top to bottom.

They took some of the most followed people on YouTube, the folks that you usually find having their videos featured when you go to the site. They took the average number of views. Removed 2% assuming assuming that the number of people who click away before they have a chance to click on any ads that generate money. Then they divide that number by half assuming that's about the right number of folks who click on ads. Then they multiply by X number of dollars assuming that's how much money they generate per click on ads. There you have it. Assumption math. You know what you get when you use math based off of so many assumptions? YOU HAVE A FUCKING GUESS! This entire list is based on speculation which is based off of too few facts to have a prayer of being remotely accurate. And this stupid thing made the Yahoo news role. I actually saw it before that, but was so mind shriveling stupid that I didn't think anyone would take it seriously.

And there I go again underestimating the stupidity of those responsible for the news.

They didn't even bother actually finding the top ten people on YouTube who make original content in terms of views. They just picked ten popular people whose view count generated six figures when they applied their voodoo math. They also went on to say that many of these people have multiple channels because they are so popular that they need a channel "to just be themselves". Look. I have multiple blogs. I have this one here for my articles and essays. I have another one for my fiction. Why split it? Because this isn't a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup and no one wants my chocolate getting mixed with my peanut butter. Same thing with YouTube. You have people generating content, but they like to make videos and share themselves with their viewers. So you split it for the sake of consistency. Maybe some of the people who enjoy the short film they produce don't really want to watch videos about their lives, or the making of the videos.

And now the backlash has begun with scores of people asking questions and making comments to the people on the list. Philip Defranco has already addressed it briefly in a video, and said the same thing I have in that these estimates are "way off". Natalie Tran addressed it on her Twitter account:

All I try to do, and did before adsense or any of that, is make content independently for people to watch and enjoy. Even though what I do is "new" to a lot of people, it doesn't mean it's not impolite to ask me what I make or publish estimated income in the news.

Tran is a very clever woman with a very thick skin. You have to be thick skinned when you post stuff on YouTube, because when you generate the sizable following she has there's going to be no shortage of people who give you grief or get weird over you. She's also absolutely correct. None of these people were contacted about being on the list. Now certainly they've achieved a certain level of fame and that chips away at privacy, but that doesn't mean we need to know everything about them and they business.

The media love to tell us how much money people make. Part of me things its jealousy. The writers see that somebody is making a bunch of money, or in this case assumes they are, and they put it our there. Sure, any advertising is good advertising, when you have people out doing want they love they probably don't want people giving them grief for how much money they make doing it. All this did is give they detractors more spitballs to launch at them. It reminds me very much of when a nasty money-grubbing faction of the church I work out in decided they wanted to squeeze me for more money. They were assuming I was charging a lot more than I actually was, assumed I had a lot more students than I actually did, and assumed that I was making a ton more money than I actually was. That group was led by a big old liberal too, and you know if a liberal thinks you're making profit then you need to give it away. "OMG I can't people you're actually making money on something you like doing!" Same mentality as those who published the article, only with yes venom. They don't want the money, they just want to "expose" those who make it.

Its a crap article, based on shoddy research. I'm going over to YouTube now to go watch Philly D's Vloggity now.

MUSIC!!

Rounding out the week of Muppet music for Linda's Birthday we've got a song not by the Muppets, but its a favorite of mine and there's Muppets afoot. It's nerd rock time!!



That's is for today. I'd promice to be less venomous for Wednesday, but I'm not a politician and don't promise things I know I can't deliver. See y'all then.

Comics to make you cry

Great Scott! (I've always wondered which Scott they're talking about.) Its Friday, August 20, 2010. I heard yesterday that economically this is being called "the Summer of Recovery" by the White House. Funny. I wasn't broke in June.

Buncha jerks.

BATMAN DON'T CRY!!!

Recently a study was done claiming that super heroes are not good role models for young boys. I dove into this. This could have led to a biting commentary about how superheroes are portrayed and the writing of comic books and that whole "the medium has grown up" blather. But no, it was a weak sauce attack on Ironman, specifically the movies, for showing off 'bling' and womanizing. Ironman is the logical choice for criticism since the movies are currently the hottest superhero property going. Its also a fair criticism of the character as portrayed by Robert Downey Jr.

Unfortunately it ends there, and hits upon its main point: superheroes don't help young boys to talk about their feelings. And at that point mentions of superheroes get few and far between revealing this for what it is, and that's a waste of time. This 'study' is obviously cashing in on the current popularity of superheroes in movies to get attention to their crap. But its a study by someone who claims to be intelligent and know what they are talking about, so unfortunately someone is going to take it seriously. Hopefully not in the way "Seduction of the Innocent" was taken seriously.

According to this study young boys are encouraged to take on the social roles of "macho man" or "slacker". It is now obvious that no actual comic books were read in pursuit of this research. It also criticizes the role of superheroes comparing them to "action stars" who are in stories of violence and action. I guess they would much prefer the current JMS Superman storyline of him walking down the the street and being douche. The stupidity of these "findings" is just mind boggling. For the past few years it seems that every other writer has been hell bent on making Superman cry. And the comparing them to "action stars" is accurate because that's what superheroes are. If you can bench press a bus, who wants to stories about you having tea and discussing literature.

Are superheroes bad role models for young boys? That depends on the character. You probably wouldn't want your son wanting to grow up idolizing the Punisher. However there is no shortage of characters that are good role models like Superman, Batman, and Spider-man. A guy with power to do whatever he wants but uses them to help whoever he can. A guy who through through horrible tragedy uses it as a motivation to become something great. A guy that doesn't have things easy, but doesn't walk away from his responsibility to do what's right.

And yes these characters do share their feelings on a regular basis. There are pages and pages of captions featuring their inner monologues. Sure, they share their feelings with the readers, and not often with each other. There's usually not much time for that when the planet is about to explode. Still, it does pop up here and there, like when Superman was talking to the Flash about being worried sometimes of not being able to live up to people's expectations of him. Of course a bit after that he prevented the Moon from crashing into the Earth and wrestled the renegade King Angel of the Bull Host. Really though, its not up to comic books and superheroes to teach kids personal relationship skills and how to deal with their emotions. That's the job of parents. Comic books, specifically the superhero genre, are escapism. Its entertainment. Its great when entertainment can be educational, but mostly its their so people can have a bit of fun for a while.

Ultimately, this study is pointless and seems to come from the viewpoint that men and boys should all talk about their feelings and emote about everything. Newsflash: we're guys. Us talking about our feelings typically boils down into a couple of sentences, and then we move on.

Unless you have a blog and tend to ramble a lot.

COMIX!!

Starting things off this week with TINY TITANS #31. This issue was hoot with a birthday party for the clone of a clone, fun with the Brainiac Club and the Tiny Titans meeting the Little Legion of Super-Heroes. This series is a hoot with its little jabs at the mainstream DCU. It consistently finds a way to be perfect for little kids yet still have enough charm and clever bits to keep an older audience smiling.



Always remember to be careful what you ask for.

Moving on to my read of the week: SUPERGIRL #55. Sterling Gates and Jamal Igle continue to knock this title right out of the park. This book struggled horribly under big time writers like Jeph Leob and even Greg Rucka, but Gates has captured the character so wonderfully that this book is just a joy. I've been a fan of Igle's art since his run on FIRESTORM. Its spot on and does a great job of making Supergirl look attractive without making her look like jailbait.

This issue has Supergirl taking on Bizarrogirl! That's right, a Bizarro Supergirl! Gates and Igle absolutely nail how dangerous Bizarrogirl is while simultaneously making her hysterical. Also we continue to have the supporting cast be incredibly strong in this book. Doctor Light and Gangbuster are really fun in this book. I've was never really a fan of either character before them being in this book, but they fit perfectly and play well off Supergirl. A great supporting cast is really what cements a solid superhero comic and Gates' run on this book has really set up a great cast and a great tone for the series. Top to bottom, a good time.

Shifting away from DC over to Dark Horse, BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: RILEY hit the shelves this week. Its written by Jane Espenson who wrote more than a few episodes of the TV series. Art is handled beautifully by Karl Moline who many will remember as having handled the art on Joss Whedon's first comic book FRAY. Great writing and great art, but this is an issue that feels out of place. Its a set up issue for events that have already transpired in the series. It doesn't give any huge insights into the storyline that we need to move forward. It has the same feeling as WORLD WAR III or BATTLE FOR THE COWL. Its an unnecessary book even though it is a really good one.

YOUTUBERY!!

There's a new channel on YouTube which I gave a shout out to a while back: Black Box TV. They just posted their first full episode this week. I'm not putting the video up because I want everyone to go subscribe to it. Its cool, creepy stuff and the sort of thing that's been sorely lacking from YouTube.

MUSIC!!

Continuing our little Muppets themed tribute to Linda this week because I forgot to get a birthday card. Hopefully this'll prevent her from using her powers to reign much doom over me. Its like a pagan offering, only fuzzier.



That's all for Friday. Enjoy the weekend!

Conan smites the WBC on YouTube!

Man the battle stations! Its Sunday, July 25, 2010 and Operation: Cleansweep is off the a good start. My Shock and Awe campaign had yielded excellent results in Zones 1 and 2. The Insurgents will most likely put up a lot of resistance in Zone 3 and I'll Gitmo both their little asses if they try anything.

Hey, speaking of battles...

BATTLEGROUND: COMIC-CON

As I discussed earlier this week or possibly last week if you consider Sunday the beginning of the week and if you do then your life is ruled by a calendar, you sheep, the Westboro Baptist Church decided they were going to go protest in front of the San Diego Comic-Con probably because they they figured they better stop protesting soldiers funerals for fear of eventually getting their asses kicked. My God, that is one long run on sentence. I feel like Henry David Thoreau.

And yes they did protest the nerd prom and, by gum, those nerds protested right back! This is of course the best possible thing to do because the WBC are really just a bunch of little sissies who are hiding behind Freedom of Speech Laws and try to sue whoever they can. They spew forth hate to the point they are idiotic parodies of human beings, and the best weapon to combat them is open mockery.

Now, they tend to go after funerals and the like where emotions run high and there's no chance someone is going to start mocking them due to the nature of the gathering. So what the hell were these morons thinking going to SDCC? They got made into fools instead of being considered the hate group which they are. Good job to the counter protesters.

But this doesn't mean that everything was peacefully at Comic-con. At a movie preview screening one person was stabbed in the eye by a pencil. I know what you're thinking. "Did RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE really look that bad?" But no, it was someone else who stabbed him, apparently after a dispute over a seat. It seems Brody in MALLRATS was correct: just because someone reads comic books they can indeed serve some shit.

This of course caused a delay with convention programming in that hall. Those conventions are tough to co-ordinate. What will celebrities to deal with, various schedules, logistics of all the guests, hate groups out front, and guys stabbing each other in the eye inside I'm now thinking ImagineCon 2000 could have been a hell of a lot worse.

RIDDLE OF STEEL. COLOR OF MONEY

Well, we may never see another Conan movie hitting the big screen, but there's still a lot of love out there for that big, sword swinging, Corm worshiper. In fact a painting of Conan done by the late Frank Frazetta just sold for well over a million dollars. That might just be better than crushing my enemies, seeing them driven before me, and/or hearing the lamentation of their women.

I like Conan, but my interest is really only a passing one. I haven't read all the comics of books. I don't own the movies. I do have to resist the urge to yell "CROM" before swinging a sword at anything. I love Frank Frazetta's artwork. I was saddened a bit to hear about his passing away a couple months ago. The Missus was a bit surprised that a painting of Conan would fetch such a high price. I was a little surprised as well, but it is an excellent piece.

Back in college I knew a guy named Alex would refused to tell us his middle name. This deflected all inquiries about my lack of a middle name. We knew it began with an 'S' and he claimed it was for 'Steven' but we didn't believe him. Then he made the mistake of filling out a form while sitting next to me.

'Shin Quan'. Thank God he was Asian.

This was Freshman year and by God until the day he graduated if ever any of us caught sight of that poor bastard we'd yell out "Shin Quan! What is best in life!?"

And a few times, he'd actually answer.

YOUTUBE GETS SPOOKY!!

Came across this and am very interested.



I know there are quite a few webisodic YouTube Channels, but I haven't come across anything really trying to be straight up spooky. The people behind this do quality work so I have a lot of faith in this project. It seems like the majority of original content I find on YouTube is out for laughs or trying to show off something cool. That's great. Everyone can always use a good laugh. I'd love to see some "dare you not to click away" spook-tacular videos.

MUSIC!!

The last of my three favorite songs. Kinda weird that all three are out of the 80s. Ah well.



That's all I've got for this weekend. Thanks to Linda for being my connection to stuff I don't know. I'm going to get back to slowly cooking in the heat wave that's hit the east coast. The one good thing about this heat is its all the reason I need to say indoors. See you Wednesday.

God Flames Green Lantern with Old Spice!

BAH! Its Sunday, July 18, 2010. I don't care what the time stamp says. I'm hunting about for more info about what projects Stan Lee has cooking up with Boom Studios. I hear there's three of them and it involves Superheroes. When I find out more I'll let y'all know. Pretty sure the big announcement will be at the San Diego Comic-con which i won't be attending due to principle.

This is assuming that having no money can count as a principle.

Oh hey, speaking of the nerd prom...

BATTLEGROUND: COMIC-CON!!

San Diego Comic-Con is fast approaching and while I won't be there the Westboro Baptist Church will be. Guess the biggest villains at the show will be standing outside on the sidewalk holding offensive sign and being prepared to sue anyone who says anything bad about them. I don't think Fred Phelps, the leader of this hate group which pretends to be a church, will be making the trip as he is older than hell and was probably holding signs telling Noah that he is a homosexual and his boat won't save him.

His spawn Shirley Phelps-Roper will probably have something to offer, and she is utterly fascinating. There was this video game a few years ago which I'm pretty sure was named FABLE and in it you play out the life of this character who can be either good or evil depending on your choices and actions. A cool feature is that the character changed in appearance, so if you did bad stuff he looked more evil. Looking at a picture of Shirley Phelps-Roper you can actually see the type of person she is. I know that sounds really superficial, but there's not enough foundation in Kansas to cover the eeeeeeevil.

So, the hateful pricks will be standing outside Comic-con with their signs taking a break from protesting the funerals of soldiers to try to offend more people. They say they're doing it because this convention promotes idolatry. They are, of course, a bunch of morons. I would find it hilarious if some guy dressed as Batman got pissed off and waded into the protesters and started throwing knuckles.

Police: "Can you identify the person who assaulted you?"

WBC douchebag: "He was dressed as Batman!"

Police: "This weekend you'll have to be more specific. Did he have an distinguishing features?"

WBC douchbag: "I don't know! He was wearing a mask!"

Of course, I'm not saying somebody should actually do it. That would be wrong. But if someone did do it, and there happens to be a video on YouTube of it happening, I'd appreciate a link.

FLAMEBAIT!!

As YouTube trainwrecks go this one smells really fishy. So a kid is having a breakdown on her webcam complete with her father in the background yelling over her shoulder mostly at people who apparently said mean things about her in the comments of her videos. This was followed up by another video of the same girl, still in tear, and he father claiming to have "backtraced" the comments and alerted the authorities.

Let's assume for a moment that these videos are legit and the girl isn't just flamebait. The girl in question shouldn't be posting videos on YouTube if she can't handle criticism. Second, her parent shouldn't let her be posting videos once they see that there's adverse crap descending upon their family. This requires half a brain in on of the people in the equation and a bit of backbone in the parents. However considering some of the fabulous things I've seen from teens lately there is a chance that this is legit.

More likely is that this girl is flamebait, meaning she's putting on a show to get a reaction. She's reveling in all the crappy comments and jokes at her expense. She's gleefully viewing the response parody videos. She's very proud that this has gotten the attention of Philip DeFranco and William Ray Johnson. She's quite a little actress and the father's over the top performance just adds to the funny. Its a Glee level car crash, and folks are gleefully buying into it. This is the more likely option especially considering there another video of her chatting online with her friends with all the commentary scrolling in front of her and she's not phased in the slightest.

That or this girl is about five nasty comments away from a bottle of sleeping pills.

This serves as a lesson. This situation could be a real one and there are no shortage of victims of "cyber-bullying". The internet is not the friendliest place and parents need to step in at times to make sure everything is cool and there's no problems, and if there are problems it may indeed be time to step away from the internet.

OLD SPICE OWNS US ALL!!

A couple months ago I saw a link to a video of some show called "The Dish" and I clicked to discover that it was hosted by Danielle Fishel who played Topanga on BOY MEETS WORLD in which she co-starred with Will Friedle who was the voice of Terry McGinnis in BATMAN BEYOND proving let again that life is really all about Batman. In that video I saw for the first time the Old Spice Guy.

That's right. The man who has taken the internet by storm. Rarely has such a display of awesome overtaken so many. It's created quite a buzz online, to which Old Spice Guy was happy to engage his fans. He has shown himself to be of the people, even going so far in his efforts to aid humanity as to propose to a woman for someone. Of course she said yes. There is no refusing Old Spice Guy. Even Alyssa Milano isn't immune to his manly charms, although her response does make me think she's a bit of a gold digger.

This is probably one of the cleverest uses of social media in advertising ever. Kudos Old Spice Guy. I shall now go and create a comic tribute to you in which which you save the world from destruction while wearing only a towel.

I totally need a picture of Isaiah Mustafa telling prince "You're Wrong! The Internet can never die!"

FROM OA WITH LOVE!!

There he is. Ryan Reynolds as Green Lantern marking the third comic book character that he's played. There's actually a bit of a stink about the costume. Its computer generated. Reynolds wore a motion capture suit which allowed the CGI whiz-kids to put the suit on him in editing. I've said in the past that I'm not a fan of CGI. Let me clarify: I'm not a fan of CGI in movies when its something that could be done without it like fight scenes, explosions, or Lara Crofts boobs. In this case we have a movie about a guy who can create anything he imagines out of solid green light thanks to his power ring, so this is something that CGI should be used for. So the costume makes for an interesting bit because Green Lantern's in the comics is generated by his ring. So really it makes sense that the same CGI is used to create the costume that creates his rind based constructs. If anything it should make things look more consistent. Credit for using a motion suit so that it is Reynolds actually in action, that scores some points for me.

But will I actually go see it? I'm really on the fence. I like Ryan Reynolds, he's awesome. I like the concept of Green Lantern, but I don't like Hal Jordan as a character. It also may be a bit too much CGI for me to be interested in when I could just rent the animated feature Warner Brothers put out a while back. So, I'm torn.

MUSIC!!

Yet again SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE went above and beyond the call of duty and this time it did so in probably launching a music career. Waitress Christina Perri's song "Jar of hearts" found its way into the hands of choreographer Stacey Tookie, and she used it for one of her pieces for the show. Since then the song has taken off and is doing quite well in the Billboard charts considering she doesn't even have a record label. Here's the piece that launched the song. The dancers are Billy Bell and Kathryn McCormick. Enjoy and don't forget to check out the show on Wednesdays, this show is setting new standards for dance.

billy 9 @ Yahoo! Video

POP QUIZ!!

Can you find the guy who blogs too much in this picture?



Alright gang, that's it for today. Now, off with you!

Who loves pizza?

I just got done watching a video on YouTube about arguing on the internet. I'm not going to post it up here, because its kind of long. Now, I recently subscribed to this guy because he does little news stories about entertainment stuff I care about. This video was a bit different from his others, but obviously he was caught up in things and having quite a time with the situation and felt like sharing. I came close to clicking away from the video a few times, but everytime I got read to go for my mouse he'd say something that kept me hanging in just a little bit longer.

And then came the grand finale. I really wasn't going to post about this, but when I went to check my blog here (new follower, yay and welcome) there was an ad for good ol Papa John's in my adsense space. Seemed like fate to me. For those of you who haven't tried ordering pizza online, some of the sites are really cool. One of them even lets you know when your pizza is being prepared and when it's going into the oven and everything. Pretty neat.

So Kent, if you need to order more pizza, feel free to click that ad in my blog here. I'll get a whole penny. One day.

And for the dope who actually posted his home address online with the challenge for Kent to go to that house to fight him: hope you're hungry.

Happy 100th!

The 100th video from Itsjustsomerandomguy has hit YouTube. I'm a big fan of his and he's produced a ton of great content and this video is no exception. Enjoy.

The wrong bear to poke

The Pakistan infowar is continuing and as predicted there's a lot of upset people over there. For a more professional take (read: not snarky) on the events Yahoo had an article up about it. So we have both sides of the coin upset there. There are those that are upset about the EDMD content, and there are those who are ticked that the government has blocked those sites.

Well, they didn't have a whole lot of choice now did they. Lawyers from Pakistan tried to get that content blocked, but that didn't happen. So the plug got pulled.

Here's a bit that the article touches on that the internet "freedom fighters" behind this didn't think about: Pakistan has an elected government. This means all the people who EDMD offended have a vote. I don't think anyone wants to see what would come to power over there from a campaign running against western blasphemy.

EDMD alienated a demographic that should be embraced. That's the people who really aren't sure about things the west have to offer like the internet. Would their lives be bettered by such things? I'm pretty sure they would, but you can't expect those people to want something when they hear about things on there specifically placed to offend them.

I swear. Its like PETA drowning puppies sometimes. You can't make people see the point of view the freedom of speech and freedom of expression are great when you are putting things up that are offensive.