Go out and play

Rock Band 2 has invaded the Nozz compound. It's a birthday gift for the missus. I catch her playing Guitar Hero on her phone more than using it as an actual phone it seems. I got it. gave it to her. She seems happy. She's gone to work and I assembled it. I tried it to make sure it works, and it does.

I'll probably never touch it again aside from moving it around to keep it out of the way.

Chris and my brother both have the same opinion on this thing: if you're going to go through all the effort of mastering the game to the point of demolishing the expert setting then you need to just learn how to play an actual instrument. I took drum lessons in high school. I tried the drum kit on the Rock Band thingie. It reminded me of how much I suck at drumming. I'm not even going near the guitar thingie. I sure as hell am staying away from the microphone.

I know there's competitions and tournaments for things like this. I know there's prizes and stuff for competing in them. I see the video game channels on the flat screens at the Game Stop featuring interviews with "professional gamers" and "gaming athletes".

If anyone reading this classifies themselves as either of the above you should stop reading now because I'm about to tell you that you completely suck.

Video games are what we played when we were bored or it was raining out. Sure they're fun. In fact a video game system is now considered a standard element of anyone's home entertainment center. But if you're trying to make a living playing video games, and you don't work for a video game making company then you might as well just tell the world that you have no desire to contribute anything to the world around you.

Whoever coined the term "gaming athlete" should get their ass kicked for general principle.

They're not athletes. In fact I'm sure every member of every chess club in history that caught shit from some meathead jock in high school twitches whenever some dolt utters that tripe with a straight face. And don't hand me some line about the focus and endurance they must have to compete. If you want to see focus and endurance, watch NASCAR.

It's a complete sham. It's people taking something that there for entertainment and turning it into a lifestyle choice, and that never goes well. And no throwing stones about me writing and drawing comics. Like the people who actually make the games, I'm contributing something. The comic equivalent to a "gaming athlete" would be professional comic readers. I'd love to see that competition. First one to get through the entire works of Alan Moore wins. No skimming and if you have to take a break to pee be prepared to feel the mockery of those with superior bladder control.

So, for all of those reading this that I have just insulted: bite me.

Put your controller down and do something.