Tangled up in Blu

Its so very nice to be right. People have been going bonkers over AVATAR and now that the hysteria has died down the realization has set in: the movie isn't really very good. But in keeping with the theme of blue things sucking, we move onto blu-ray players. Seems some people are fairly pissed off that they can't watch blue people on blu-ray. Just another reason why I sit confident in my assertion that blu-ray as a whole is a complete waste. You need an internet connection to download programs or your blu-ray player might not play disks? Are you freaking kidding me?

How hilarious is this? Seriously. Technology is supposed to be this create thing that makes our lives better and more convenient. Now if you want to watch a movie, having to wait on lagging load time isn't your only problem. I bet there's some people that spent hundreds of dollars on their players that are just ready to chew drywall right now. Now, I see you can get a blu-ray player from Wal-Mart for under $100. Nice. In fact that's such a sweet deal that I even thought for a fleeting moment about maybe getting one. Then I remembered they suck. They don't make a lick of different if you don't have a high definition television and my TV is skating on a proper ten years of age. Still works too. The rabbit ears get much better reception than that ridiculous digital antenna they sold me at Best Buy. Even has an anti-theft feature: the thing is heavy as hell. Good luck taking it.

I think we hit the tipping point of entertainment technology. Blu-rays give more detail than your eyes were meant to take in, making things look funny. Oh and now we need an internet connection our we're screwed with the stuff we buy? The hell with that. I'm sticking to DVDs and a Nintendo Wii. Not gonna be getting a new TV anytime soon either because the one I have works and fits nicely in the entertainment center. And I'm sticking to CDs too. Yeah, I sound old and cranky but new tech isn't cool if its a pain in the ass.

A star is born, or will be.

In answer to the world's energy needs scientists are planning on making a star. But don't worry, its just going to be a small one. Cute really. It would be very novel if not for one scientist having done it before.

Oh that's right kids, you don't just have to worry about CERN and the LHC ending the planet! They're gonna build a star in California, because that's where all the big stars are! And don't worry if it goes horribly awry, because I think Tobey Maguire lives out there somewhere, and he'll stop it! And if he needs help, he can call Robert Downey Jr.

They want to fire that sucker up in 2012. Oh yeah, the Mayans were right!

That article really does not fill me with a ton of confidence, especially when they say how the scientists are in a hurry wanting to get this done. It goes into detail about what they're doing. I just wish they were going to go into detail about how the hell they're going to contain this thing. Crazy shit happens with stars once their fuel is used up. Red giants. White dwarfs. Oh yeah and black holes. Those tend to suck. However, I hear The Hulk once contained a black hole, so I figure between Edward Norton and Eric Bana we should be covered in case that happens.

Crap. I've got enough to worry about. I don't need to worry about a bunch of guys who failed in their auditions for The Big Bang Theory who managed to get funding because they thought Alfred Molina was onto something, and even though they don't have eight arms, they can do it better.

Oh and firing this machine up will use a complete assload of power. In California. That rolling blackout is going to go all the way to Canada. But don't worry, it'll produce ten times the power it takes to operate. If it works. And doesn't kill us all.

Crap like this is why my hair is going gray.

Did the Earth move for you?

Recently there has been a lot of earthquake activity. Pretty bad one's too. Sometimes the planet gets a bit testy with things like earthquakes and volcanic eruptions. I do remember that a lot of people figured California was going to have fallen into the ocean by now. The San Andreas Fault Line was pretty much the entry point for student to learn about plate tectonics. We knew California gets a lot of Earthquakes, and then we learned why. The Earth is really quite a nice place to live, but there's always something going on with it. It doesn't just sit quietly and sin through space. Parts are moving and sometimes some really spectacular and dangerous stuff happens. And of course it all quite fascinating and has been studied forever and a day.

But really all those geologists don't have a clue as to what they're talking about, because fortunately we've had a nice sensible Muslim Cleric inform us that the earthquakes are because women are not dressing as modestly as they should.

So are we as a society willing to risk more earthquakes for the sake of short skirts and low cut tops? It was a very hard question and one that was answered by SCIENCE! "Boobquake" started out on Facebook and led to two events in which ladies gathered to show off the goods. Translation: lots o cleavage. They did this to see if they could cause an earthquake. Well, nothing happened, which kinda sucks because it would have lent itself well to my theory that Global Warming is caused buy the simultaneous existence of Christina Hendricks, Dichen Lachman, and Zhang Ziyi.

Such a terribly blow to the woman's liberation movement. It seems they can't change the world. No earthquakes. Although that volcano in Iceland did start settling down about the same time as Boobquake. Perhaps the Cleric was wrong and we're getting earthquakes due to not enough cleavage. These questions demand answers. And those answers demand boobs.

Nozz's Night Music 4-25-10

Not my orginal pick since I've been on a big Supernatural bended this weekend, but at the last second I bumped Kansas for some Shockabilly.

Archie Comics are just Thuper!

In a move no one expected, nor would have noticed if not for the fact that the media made some kind of deal out of it, Archie Comics will be introducing a gay character. This has brought out many fascinating comments running the gambit from Riverdale being the new Sodom and Gomorrah to "They still make Archie comics?" Then of course we can fondly remember the bit from Kevin Smith's CHASING AMY about Archie and Jughead being lovers and the hilarity that ensued.

I love the comments. The outrage of it all. This will be the destruction of civilization as we know it. We can't have a guy who likes guys in an Archie Comic! You know what that leads to? Bestiality! We all should have seen this coming. In fact, if you check the Mayan calendar, this is listed right on there. May. 2010. Archie Comics. Gay guy. Next stop: apocalypse.

What will this really mean in the long run? Absolutely nothing. 99% of the people outraged by this will have forgotten about it by next weekend. Speaking as a guy who has read comics his entire life and loves the medium, this is not a big deal. Its not like they made one of the classic characters suddenly gay. If that were the case, I'd be miffed. But its not. Its a new kid at school. On a scale of 1 to 10 of how big a deal this is, its squat.

Seriously, Sabrina the Teenage Witch is an Archie comic? Where's the outrage over the practicing Wiccans in Riverdale? Riverdale had Wiccans LONG before Sunnydale. Grab the torches and pitchforks.

So yet again, the masses are asses, and this is much ado about nothing.

Nozz's Night Music 4-24-10

I first heard this song in a strip club and loved it to the point I was ignoring the girl on the stage. I never knew the name or the artist. The next time I heard it I was doing things that I won't mention here and stopped to asked what song this was that she had playing in the background. That was well over ten years ago, but I still dig the song. "Whatever" by the Butthole Surfers.

Nozz's Night Music 4-23-10

Its Friday Night. Time for some Van Morrison. Let's boogie.

Yeah. What he said.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
South Park Death Threats
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Preach it, Brother Stewart.

The Great Uniters

Throughout history people have risen up to bring together two peoples with differing viewpoints and thus giving them common ground. Today is no different as two men have managed to bring together many and give them that common ground in that perhaps they may even start a dialog. And those two people who have worked so hard at being uniters and not dividers, and in my humble opinion deserve nomination to the Nobel Peace Prize, are Mssrs. Parker and Stone, the creators of South Park.

Revolution Muslim has joined Scientologists as being a group that gets all butthurt when they religion is made fun off. Comedy Central, following their history of pussing out under pressure from such groups, ran an edited version of the episode of South Park removing the content that got a death threat from Revolution Muslim.

This is all of course a pathetic display considering that South Park makes fun of everything, including Christianity, and that the fellows of Revolution Muslim should follow the example of their Prophet, embrace their inner Thetan, and simply threaten a lawsuit like a civilized bunch of idiots. I think the first step to their enlightenment would be visiting the Oprah Show, speaking their piece and then jumping up and down on her couch. That is the great thing about Freedom of Speech: nutballs get to say what they think, and we can recognize them as nutballs and thus avoid them.

I don't get to watch South Park as much as I would like since I don't have Cable, and there's not much I miss about not having Cable, but South Park is one thing I miss. And what have we learned today from Revolution Muslim? That they're a bunch of small pathetic losers that don't know how to laugh at themselves.

I'll be waiting for my death threat, so I can make fun of it.

Buzz Tourney Winner!

After four rounds of competition the field of 16 has been narrowed down to one hero. The championship bout was indeed epic with debate and even betrayal. Ultimately, only one character can be named Google Buzz's favorite superhero and that character is:


The Skyrocket Flies High.

The Skyrocket #2 from Paper Tiger Comics hit the stores this week. Mike Federali and Os Petroli continue their tale of a bad girl trying to go good and it just not going easy for her. The gears shift for issue two. While the first issue gave us big monster fighting action, this one keeps the tension up and the property damage fairly low. We pick up right where we left off with our heroine, Sam Robbins at gunpoint from a hooded assassin.

This issue gives us a bit more in terms of characters. Sam continues to be a smart, confident protagonist who despite having a checkered past doesn't seem to be haunted by it. Nice have a character like this who doesn't rank to high on the angst-o-meter with every action performs for atonement. In fact it Seems Sam still has a bit of bad girl in her, but at least now she's using it constructively. We get to see more of Agent Evans, who finally appears as more then just a guy on a video screen. While I had written this guy off as Government Douche in issue one, he turns out to be a pretty likable guy.

For a couple of guys on their maiden voyage into making comics, Federali and Petroli are handling themselves well. The story is straight forward and doesn't lull, keeping our interest. The art continues to be solid and easy to follow. Petroli does have a bit of a disadvantage in that the story in this issue all takes place in one setting and there's not a huge fight scene. He manages to keep the book flowing well, and that's hard to do in a comic when there's not bullets flying or fists swinging every other panel. Although it looks like we'll be getting that in issue #3. Also credit to them for not going full-on gory in certain scenes that could have easily been done a lot more graphically. Petroli makes it clear what happens, but doesn't make us cringe when it does.

Its a solid book and I'm on board for next month when issue 3 hits.

And if you missed issue #1 and need a little catch-up, you can get it here.

Yay for movie sequels!

Yes, it is horrible and the thought of violence against women is wrong, wrong, wrong.

Yet, the news about Sex in the City 2 makes me want to go see it.

Beatings translator

Movement is a language. People have told stories throughout history with dance. How people carry themselves can tell your things. Knowing how to read the language of movement his helpful and insightful. I have some knowledge of that language which is how I'm able to reverse engineer applications from Karate Kata. This is necessary because many applications have been lost throughout the years, so I examine the techniques and try to figure how to use them in a combat situation. I've also had some success in passing this skill on to some of my students.

So now I'm trying something knew with this: building my own Kata. I still have no clue what to name it. Its based on my favorite techniques and my personal fighting style.

This doesn't happen very often in traditional Karate. Sure, those XMA guys have created their own 'katas', but those are for performance and have little actual usable applications. If you type in "karate" into YouTube you'll be surprised how many videos appear that aren't actually Karate. That has changed a bit over the years as more people have put traditional Karate videos up.

I'm doing this for two reasons. First, our twentieth anniversary of our karate Club is this year and I wanted to create something to commemorate that, so I'll be teaching that Kata at the anniversary workout. Second, when I was testing for my 5th dan I was told that i was to perform a Kata that defined me as a martial artist. Then I was told that Kata was Kururufa. Dandy, except I didn't know that Kata and had to learn it right quick before getting tested.

Maybe that does define me as a martial artist: "he doesn't know what he's doing, but he learns right quick."

But no, I wanted there to be a Kata that did define me as a martial artist, so I'm creating one, which will probably get a wide variety of responses from people from "That's cool" to "No, you can't do that". Studying Karate is really a study of applicable history. I'm not trying to make history, or make my mark upon history.

Although that would be pretty cool. Future generations of students asking their Sensei, "Where did that Kata come from." And the Sensei answers, "It was created by a fierce Karate man, who killed many with his bare hands and ate Chik-Fil-A before his workouts for STRENGTH!"

Really I just want to build a Kata and share it. I doubt it will get passed along, but it'll get the itch out of my system.

Buzz Tourney Championship Bout!

Not much voting over the weekend up the results are in!

The Hulk beat Hellboy.

Wolverine took Thor.

That's right, kids. Our championship bout is a rematch between two characters who seem to really like to beat the crap out of each other.

Raising useless people

Just when you think you've seen some of the most asinine parenting decisions imaginable something new jumps up. And here we have "unschooling". In watching this video I felt better about myself as a parent. I understand that there's a lot of people who are frustrated with the public school system. I understand that not everyone can afford private school and I'm a big supporter of school choice. I'm all for the right to home school and have many students who are home schooled. My karate classes can actually count as a physical education credit for home schooling.

But this "unschooling" is just wrong. It lazy parenting at its utmost laziest. This is what I see Clara from The Guild doing when her kids get older. And for a moment I was thinking there may be a little merit to it when I saw the family with the younger kids going to a store and the parents asked their children about how much money they had and they answered. That's providing real world experiences for your children which teach and reinforce good knowledge. I'm all for that. But then you see them having breakfast and the boy is eating a doughnut while sitting on the stairs because that's what he wants to do.

The kid is like five or something! Of course he'd like to eat a doughnut for breakfast! And when the kids ends up suffering from juvenile obesity in a few years, I'm sure the parents will be baffled as to how something like that could happen. Giving a child a choice as to what they get to eat is fine and dandy, but at least make the question multiple choice and have some items out that have some semblance of nutritional value.

Children should not have free reign over their lives. They do not know how to survive in the world. It is up to parents to teach them how. These parents aren't teaching.

Then we have the teenagers. Boy, they sure look happy. I'd be happy as hell too if I didn't have to do anything I don't want to do. You can actually see an aura of stupid upon the entire family. What's stunning is when the reporter asks the teens if they think they're prepared to go to college?

College? The hell with college. Are those kids prepared to get a job? Are they even starting to be prepared to support themselves at all? They don't have to do anything they don't want to do (and I'm sure their parents are their best friends too) so what happens when they decide that they don't want to work? What happens when they're at home at age 24, unschooled, with no hope of being successful? Well, by that time Obama's Healthcare debacle will be in place and they can go right on mooching off their parents until they're twenty-six, at which time they can start mooching off the Government.

This is flat out social irresponsibility. Its the laziest parenting I have seen in a while. Frankly, its at this point that child protective services should be having a really close look as to what's going on with these families.

But at least they're happy. So it is true: ignorance is bliss. As such these people are the happiest morons around.

"r u a raper?"

We hear a lot that the kids nowadays are a lot more computer savvy and more equipped to handle life in the internet age. I actually just saw an AT&T ad saying that people who have the internet are somehow made smarter. This makes me wonder if the people who have made these claims have spent any time at all online.

Having information accessible to you does not make you smarter. If you sit in a library all day long and play Rock Band on your cell phone, you will not become smarter. If anything the internet just makes it easier to appear smarted. Nothing like a little cut and paste from Wikipedia onto a forum to make you seem intelligent, right?

Which brings us right to what's got me annoyed. Kids on social networking platforms. There are forums that are designed specifically for kids. Facebook is not one of them. In fact its quite amusing to see kids trying to be cool online only to have their parents "friend" them thus utterly destroying their reason for being on that site.

But I've been away from Facebook for a quite while, so what has me annoyed? Google Buzz it seems has had growth in the number of kids using it. Buzz is handy because to can feed in things like this blog, twitter or other sites into one easy to follow bundle. People can follow you for your content and of course you can follow other people. You can also post things independently on there, like Twitter, but without the character limit. So with people able to feed in things like articles, artwork and the like into Buzz its a handy tool for growing a fanbase and getting your work out there.

Now, there's two ways of going about this. First is leaving comments on people's posts that are interesting and maybe they'll decide to follow you. That's my method and I'm just shy of 100 followers. The other method is to follow as many people as you can. When someone new follows you, you get a message and the option to follow them back. So, if you follow 2000 people and half of them follow you back... well, you get the idea.

Well, the problem with mass following people is that you don't really know what you're in for. So when someone who was networking out her movie reviews site over Buzz started following me and I followed her I stumbled upon something truly stupid: kids freaking out, wondering who this person is following them. "Who r u? Y r u following me? Stop following me? R u a raper?"

Now, here's why it's stupid:

First: if you are followed on Buzz, you can follow them back, meaning you can see each others posts, not follow them so they can see your posts but you don't have to see theirs, or you can just block them and they can't see your stuff. Its not hard the stop someone from following you.

Second: Odds are these kids actually followed the person back to leave the comments.

Third: Google profiles are easily accessible through Buzz, so wondering who a person is is pretty pointless when the answer is a click away.

For a demographic that's supposed to be internet savvy, they aren't showing it. In fact, I'm really starting to give credit to the people lobbying for better means of protection for kids online. Ultimately, its about being smart, which these kids aren't. If someone follows you and or friends you that you don't know and can find information about, or just seems sketchy, almost every social networking site has easy means to block those people. The first thing I do when I get a new follower on Buzz is check their Buzz Roll, and then probably they're profiles. I have not had an instance yet where I felt I needed to block someone on there, but I've done it on other sites. So far on Buzz my only decision was whether or not to follow them back.

For parents, if your kid is on a social networking site, then you need to be on there as well. Yeah, giving children their own space is all well and good, but that's why they have a bedroom. If parents don't start monitoring what their children are doing, then Big brother will eventually do it for them, and that's just one big load of bad. "We're doing it for the children." will be the battle cry and then the internet gets boiled and homogenized.

And if that happens I'm blaming every parent who was too busy and/or stupid to know that their 10 year old was sending dirty pictures out on the internet.

Sometime you get that reminder that kids are still kids. And most kids ain't that bright.

Handling the Spam Bomber

Since I've started this blog I've had not comment moderation going on. Anyone could say anything they wanted about the stuff I posted up here. It worked fine since the most comments I ever got on any post was six, and most of my posts got no comments at all. While that does make a person wonder if anyone is actually reading this blog and I think there's no point to it suddenly I'll get a few great comments or someone will gank something I wrote to be quoted on another site. I was thinking about packing it on in a couple months ago, but suddenly my follower count tripled and that's just the people who have it showing. There are others that are hidden. So I figure there's probably about 25 people who read this on a semi-regular basis. That's plenty of reason for me to keep going. That's not to say I was all "WAAH! No one luvs me and reads my blog! I'm quitting!" It more like if I'm working on something and people just aren't responding to it, then I need to change what I'm doing.

Well, I certainly have gotten a response lately, which prompted my little tirade against Gucci. There was also some douche who spam bombed one particular post with links about watches, but at least they had the stones to not post anonymously so I could go to his blog and tell him to sod off. Which he did. Which is why there's no blog post ordering everyone to use sun dials.

But in a move to curb the enthusiasm of those little spam bombing ass hats, I have turned on comment moderation on this blog. This is solely to deal with spammers, not to try to dissuade people to comment and give their tow cents on a subject.

This public service announcement is courtesy of Marty Nozz, who believes spam should be eaten and not posted.

Marty versus Gucci

Notice all those links in my comments for Gucci stuff? Yeah, I didn't put them there. In fact I've even removed some only to have them return. I even sent an e-mail to the company telling them to stop spamming my comments. Yet it continues.

This of course requires a mature, well thought out response.


Screw that. Suck on this, Gucci.

The Top Ten reasons Gucci sucks!

10. They're dedicated to making products that are entirely useless.

9. When your most valuable asset is your name, you've got serious problems.

8. They're owned by cheese-eating surrender monkey aka French people.

7. They test their new products on otters.

6. That new leather Gucci handbag is 100% puppy. Got get 'em, PETA.

5. A portion of they profits goes to fund the Westboro Baptist Church.

4. Wendy Williams has been spotted wearing Gucci.

3. Global Warming. Their fault.

2. Rich people buy their stuff. Go get 'em, libs.

And the number one reason why Gucci sucks:

1. That lily-livered sissy that keeps spam bombing my comments keeps doing it anonymously. Sack up and face me like a real man, you Frenchie!

Superhero Buzz Tourney quarter final results!

Had quite a few upsets in there and it looks like the DC participants are completely out. We've still gout our lone Dark House hero slugging away though!

Quarter finals!

The Hulk smashed Superman

Hellboy stopped The Flash

Thor dropped the hammer on Captain Marvel

Wolverine beat Batman

The Semi-finals are underway!

Someone's e-ears were burning!

Sure enough, I make a smart ass remark about Nigerian Scam artists. i then check my e-mail. What do I find?

Hello My Good Friend,

How are you today? Hope all is well with you and your family. You may not understand why this mail came to you. But if you do not remember me, you might have receive an email from me in the past regarding a multi-million- dollar business proposal which we never concluded.

I am using this opportunity to inform you that this multi-million-dollar business has been concluded with the assistance of another partner from Paraguay who financed the transaction to a logical conclusion. I thank you for your great effort to our unfinished transfer of fund into your account due to one reason or the other best known to you. But I want to inform you that I have successfully transferred the fund out of my bank to my new partner's account in BANGLADESH that was capable of assisting me in this great venture.

Due to your effort, sincerity, courage and trust worthiness you showed during the course of the transaction. I want to compensate you and show my gratitude to you with the sum of $900,000.0 I have left a certified international bank draft for you worth of $900,000.00 cashable anywhere in the world. My dear friend I will like you to contact my personal secretary in Abuja Nigeria DR. EMMANUEL KOSSI on his direct email address at: (dremmanuelkossi@live.com) for collection of your bank draft. I authorized him to release the Bank Draft to you whenever you ask him for it. At the moment, I'm very busy here because of the investment projects, which I and the new partner are having at hand.

Please I will like you to accept this token with good faith as this is from the bottom of my heart, also comply with DR. EMMANUEL KOSSI directives so that he will send the draft to you without any delay.


My personal secretary in Abuja Nigeria

Email address: (dremmanuelkossi@live.com)

Therefore, you should send him your full Name and telephone number/your correct mailing address where you want him to send the draft to you. Hoping to hear from you.

Thanks and God bless you and your family.

Mr. Peter Moon oduah

Yeah. I'll be jumping right on that sending my personal contact info your way there, Pete.

Whedon on The Avengers: sounds good on paper

The nerd community is buzzing about the possibility of Joss Whedon directing The Avengers movie. And after reading this sentence there are probably a few people absolutely giddy at the prospect. Settle down, kids. As of this flurry of pecks on my keyboard no deal had been met. And I'm a bit thankful for thank.

No, not because I want to do it. I couldn't direct traffic, much less a film.

I posted previously about how its pretty scary that Christopher Nolan plans of taking on Superman after he's done with his Batman trilogy. Now, it would be a good thing for him to grow as a director in handling such a different character. However, it is a very different character and the same things Nolan did to make the current batman franchise a success would not work with Superman. The tone of the entire concept is different and while the two characters are often used complimentary to each other its the differences that make the dynamic work and it is those differences that Nolan must understand if he's going to make Superman work for him on screen.

Back over to Whedon. I love his work. I'm really a huge fan of the guy, but I'm not too sure about him handling The Avengers. I could see him doing an X-Men movie. I could see him directing the Spider-man franchise relaunch. They're planning on doing a Runaways movie and that's definitely in Whedon's wheelhouse.

But The Avengers?

Whedon definitely has the love of the characters. I'm sure he knows a lot about the team and its history. However, this movie is going to be the culmination of a lot of build up and hype. The Thor and Captain America movies that are in production seem to only exist to get The Avengers on the silver screen. This movie won't be about clever dialogue, melodrama or intense interpersonal relationships. Its going to be, and should be, completely unbelievable, stuff blowing up, saving the world from an impossible threat kind of movie. Otherwise what's the point of having them all there? This thing needs to be able to blow the doors off of everything else out there.

Can Whedon do it?

The answer is a potential 'yes', but he's really going to have to go in with a clear vision of where this project needs to head and what it has to accomplish. He'll have to push further than any project he's done before. Also, there's a good chance that he'll be handling a script from someone else. This may not be the big 'YAY!' everyone thinks it is.

Well, I'm not overly excited for this movie to begin with. I'm barely caring about Ironman 2 at this point. So let's try to stay calm. They'll be enough fanboys screaming that our ears will hurt, even if this movie is a bomb.

Cool stuff I can't use

I get weird offers from time to time. Sure there's the occasional lawyer from Nigeria that contacts me, and I really wish they'd e-mail back soon because its been months since I sent him that $2,000 and I haven't heard anything back about that $250,000 dollars he supposed to be sending me. Then there was the folks with the pheromone based cologne that they wanted me to review in exchange for products or possibly $10.

That's right. I'm worth $10 online. Try not to be jealous.

I was tempted to accept the offer and douse Chris with the stuff only to turn him loose at the Red Dog to view the results. It would be like science or something. Or maybe Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom.

But then I got contacted today about another product:

Windows 7 Repair

But, I don't know anything about it, and that won't change soon for one very important reason: I don't have Windows 7. Its not for lack of desire to have Windows 7, its just that the computer came with Windows XP back in 2003 and the last time I tried putting a different operating system on a computer other than the one it came with the poor thing just about shat its e-guts out.

However, for those of you with Windows 7 would want to check it out. Leave a comment and let me know how it went.

And no, I'm not getting paid for this, I was just asked very politely.

The Tourney makes it to Round 2.

So my little e-experiment on Google Buzz has picked up a bit of steam. Enough at least to make it to a second round. This was actually in doubt has with less than sven hours to go in round one not all the match-up had a received any voting. However, upon getting up Tuesday morning I found that all the matches had received some attention. This leads me to believe that Google Buzz is a bit quieter o the weekends than during the weekdays. At least my followers are, which is interesting and good to know.

Round two is off to a much stronger start with all the matches receiving votes and it looks like none of the characters in question are going to coast through.

Round 1 results.

Superman breezed by Ironman.

The Hulk overcame Wonder Woman.

The Flash defeated Spider-Woman.

Hellboy upset Captain America.

Thor overpowered Storm

Captain Marvel squeaked past Green Lantern

Wolverine put the skint on Aquaman

Batman was too much for Spider-man.

Round 2 continues.

Beating children: a professional's thoughts.

A new study has come out giving evidence that spanking is bad for children. Please note that the article says nothing about spanking adults and that seems to be just fine. So some of you can carry on about your business.

Speaking as a fellow who gets paid good money for transforming children into bruised heaps of sweaty, occasionally crying, masses I have to say: BEAT YOUR KIDS! BEAT 'EM! IF YOU DON'T, THE COPS WILL LATER.

These idiotic studies keep coming out and all of them are rigged. Molly-coddling kids never works. You put a healthy dose of fear in them, and they tend to do what you say. My students don't do what I tell them because they love me. Hell, safe money says a portion of them don't even respect me. But I carry a stick specifically for hitting them and they each have the idea that I may just kill them if they annoy me.

Kid: "You can't do that!"


Me: "Yeah right. Your parents are paying me to do this."

I actually don't have to beat the kids too much nowadays. The crop that's been there a while has seen the benefit of the training and does as I order them. Peer pressure works if you can control it. The newer kids snap to when they see the more advanced students performing well. I also pit them against each other, and a healthy dose of competition does wonders for driving kids. None of that every gets a trophy crap. You don't do right you get hit by that kids standing across from you wearing gloves.

Anyone offended yet? If so, you've got problems.

Ever notice how the 'experts' who have the biggest opinions about how to raise a kid often aren't parents themselves? These experts would soil their panties if they saw my classes. My Dojo runs a years long hazing process that involves yelling, beatings, intense physical activities and being made fun of on a regular basis. After that you may get a black belt. Maybe. If we don't kill you.

Guess what? It works.

The kids I teach don't have much problems with bullies. Why? Because for every insult they've heard at school, they've probably heard worse and a lot more clever from me. We strip false ego out of people and built true character. They learn that sweat, perseverance, and giving it everything you've got produces results. They know every day is a test. These kids are carved out of wood when we're done with them.

And my Dojo isn't even the harshest in this town.

So, for those parents who are not seeing results and improvement in behavior through a judicial swat on the keister, here's my advice: use a boat oar.

Work's wonders.

Over-identification - abridged

We've heard that old line "To thine own self be true", but what happens when you don't have a self to be true to? We all have our own identities which have formed over our lifetimes which are influenced by what we see, what we're taught, the things we experience and, yes, genetics. Our personalities are impressed upon us. Sometimes we find people who are maybe too easily influenced by things.

I'm sure everyone could name a person they know of that has taken something a bit too far. Enjoying vampire stories is fine. Dressing up like a vampire for costume parties or conventions is all fun and games. Participating in vampire role-playing games is a bit different, but still OK if maintaining proper boundaries. Its those weirdos who say that they are vampires that are a problem. When you start taking your hobby to be a "lifestyle choice" then you really need to start taking a step back.

You can watch a ton of BBC, mimic a nifty British accent, and even be able to toss around the slang like a champ; but that doesn't make you British.

My dad worried a bit about me getting too into some of the sci-fi, fantasy, or horror stuff I enjoy. I've never been so far gone as to claim to be something that just doesn't exist. I like reading the stuff. I like writing the stuff. I even enjoy sometimes RPing the stuff, but I haven't done that in quite a while.

Role-playing is often like method acting. You try to place yourself in that role. However you've also got to be able to pull yourself, or more accurately your self, out of the role. Its very tricky, especially online, to know when someone is starting to take it too far.

Sure it gets to be obvious when you see pseudo-kook behavior like dressing like a vampire for no reason or learning to speak Klingon. But sometimes you get things that are a lot less obvious, but a bit more disturbing. Like people taking on a new religion because of something they experienced in fiction. That's right, sorry kids, you can't really do magic, the Force is not with you, your inner Thetan doesn't exist, and there is no Heart of the Cards. You belief system or faith should not stem from entertainment. What's sad is that there's an actual need for me to state this.

There's also issues with sexuality and gender identification. You can read and enjoy literature and entertainment featuring characters of different sexual orientations than yourself, and if the work is particularly well done, you may glean some valuable insights from the work. Now, as a guy, I like lesbians. Most guys like lesbians. They like girls. We like girls. It all works out. And certainly we had a good chuckle in the pool hall when some nutball defined a lesbian as a person who enjoys performing oral sex on a woman and, surprise surprise, the pool hall was suddenly packed with lesbians. However, no one in that pool hall suddenly discovered that he was really transgendered yet still want to date girls.

I met a transgendered guy in college. His name was Jeff, but everyone called him Jenn. He'd wear dresses to parties and kept his appearance very feminine. He didn't arrive at this point of self discovery from reading a funny book.

There are things, and they are important things, that you truly need to suss out for yourself without looking to an outside source. You're you. You are the person that has to live with yourself and you don't do yourself any favor by trying to cop to being something you are not. I like entertainment that inspires me, but at the end of the day, I am who I am. No book, TV show, movie or celebrity is going to change that.

Tourney day 1: not so good

So I set up my Sperhero single elimination tournament on Google Buzz in which all you have to do is comment to vote for your favorites in the match-ups so they can move on. The pairing were done randomly and came out interesting. I posted everything about 6 AM EST. Now at about 9 PM EST not one vote has been submitted. I currently have 75 followers on Buzz.

I'm questioning how much I can actually do with this social network.

Superhero Buzz Tourney

As I posted before I'm on Google Buzz which offers easy networking without the headaches of Facebook or the restraints of Twitter. For some amusement I'll be holding a 16-character superhero tournament. Clicking the hyper link will take you too the Buzz message and by clicking my name at the top you can go to my profile to easily follow what's going on in the tournament. If you're on Buzz, feel free to vote for your favorite characters.

Tournament starts tomorrow.


OK, so today wasn't the end of the world. I know some of you are disappointed, but chins up, the end may still be near! We may all be doomed by that most insidious of dooms: pop culture. We see to have things out there appealing to the lowest common denominator. I mean, American Idol is still on, and people still watch it. Wendy Williams is still on TV twice a day. We're following completely vapid crap because someone said it was popular.

It's Bandwagonageddon.

To clarify, allow me to provide a definition from the fanboy dictionary revised edition.

bandwagonageddon - n - the utter destruction of something good due to bad ideas being blindly followed

Example: The Flash is good. We like Him. Wally West is a neat character who long time readers have watched grow up and become a great hero. Bad idea of bringing back Wally's long dead mentor and predecessor, Barry Allen is introduced. The company goes with it, because even though they know bringing this character back from the dead is the stupidest thing they good possibly do, they do it anyways due to nostalgia. People read it, and somehow ignore the stupid because of some sort of memetic trickery.

Its like the idea of something carries more weight than the actual thing. Things are thought of as great, but really they kind of suck, but various factors cause us to overlook the suckage. And this is why we're all doomed.

We can't just go along with this crap! We have to go in and intelligently determine why ultimately Blackest Night was dumb, or why Scott Pilgrim is a tool. Sure there will be die hard fans who don't understand how you have a problem with The Dark Knight and think your dislike of it is some sort of horrible character flaw. You can't convert them. They are lost. Empty vessels waiting to be told what the next thing is that they are supposed to worship, love and throw money at.

But then there are those whose minds can be sparked. They don't care about Tiger Woods. Why don't think the Government should be doing all the crap they're doing despite them claiming they know what they're doing. They've got a few legitimate doubts about the Pop-Star-in-Chief. They see what's popular and are wondering what all the fuss is about.

Don't follow the shepherd. Be the shepherd.

If no one is willing to lead the charge upward, we all fall downward.

Now get off your ass and do something amazing.


An asteroid will be passing between the Earth and the Moon today. Scientists say that we're all safe, and it'll have no effect.

But I know the truth...

I know some of you are scared now, and are looking to me for some sort of comfort.

Well, tough tacos.

I'm looking forward to getting my Sun Sword and chillin' with a Mok.


I love good, smart, spy stories. James Bond flicks are fine and dandy until you get him just pulling out more gadgets than Adam West Batman and dealing with hot girls who die horribly if he sleeps with them. I'll be straight up, the standard I measure every spy comic I read is QUEEN AND COUNTRY by Greg Rucka. That's about as good as it gets for me. So, when someone tells me that a comic is going out that is in the same vein then that's going to get my attention. If anything it'll spur me to go in and read it if only to make horribly unfair comparisons to my beloved Q&C.

So BOOM! Studios hits me square between the eyes with CODEBREAKERS. I dive in ready to honestly rip this book a new one. I like BOOM! I like their work, but they dared invoke Q&C, and my fanboy rage had risen. "No" I said to myself, "I will not have comic book companies pulling that Hollywood crap of comparing work to something else even if there's nothing comparable." Y'know, like how every other movie with a hint of sci-fi was "like The Matrix" before the sequels made people not care about The Matrix, and in fact flee theaters with their brains shutting down from smashed in skull from overwrought symbolism. So, just as I was reading to get my teeth gnashin' on, it hit me. CODEBREAKERS does have a glaring similarity to QUEEN AND COUNTRY: it's not stupid.

Its funny at times. Sometimes a bit silly. But it's not stupid. Its a smart comic about smart people doing smart things. Carey Malloy pulls us along, introducing us to team of ciphers working for the F.B.I. that handle codebreaking. I dig that. I've had my fun jerking people around online with codes. I've had people cursing me at dinner tables while away from their computers for the horrible things I've inflicted upon them. What I like about this book is that I honestly believe that cast of this book wold hand me my ass in an intellectual arena, and they seem like real people. This isn't like THE BIG BANG THEORY where someone handed off the cliff notes to what smart people and 'nerds' are supposed to be like and we all mock it. These feel like real people. And these really people have problem.

Can these people use their skills to solve a mystery not on paper or a computer screen. Especially since their skills are what tells them that the mystery is even there to begin with and their superiors either don't see it of don't want them to.

Scott Godlewski handles the art chores really well. I like his stuff. he had to be really could since nothing blows up in here. Its tough sometimes for an artist to handle over the top action. It can be even tougher for an artist to make a story compelling when all the action is going on my someone's mind. Godlewski pulls it off, and damn well.

The book hits stores tomorrow (April 7th). BUY IT!

I don't want to be the only one sucked down this rabbit hole.

31st century fashion critic

I'm a LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES fan. I liked the comic when I was a kid. The Legion has been through a ton of changes since they made their first appearance. DC has had more than a few continuity shake-ups. So, the team would get rebooted. Well, it does make it tough to keep continuities straight and sometimes when talking about the Legion you have to specify which Legion you're actually talking about.

So we have yet another incarnation of the Legion which is supposed to be a previous incarnation of the Legion as part of DC going retro which I'm obviously a huge fan of. As you can see by my Top Ten list I'm not terribly thrilled with the costumes of this Legion in carnation. Gary Frank is a great artist, but those costumes are mostly terrible. I look at this image and it doesn't strike me as an iconic superhero team.

Had a chat with Linda about this last night. She's a bigger Legion fan than me and she agrees about the costumes. She dislikes them to the point of calling Ultra Boy a 'doof' because of his costume. Well, of course I had to counter by making fun of Brainiac 5's coat since she made fun of my favorite Legionaire and I needed to counter in a mature manner.

To take things a little further I did some quick sketches of some ideas I would likely use if I was redesigning the costumes.

Lightning Lad is one of the premier Legion characters. Along with Cosmic Boy and Saturn Girl, he founded the team. When I was a kid reading the comic I always thought he was the leader of the group. I wanted to keep is costume pretty straight forward. A bit of old school time tested stuff. Very blatant lightning motif. The areas i shaded a bit would be a dark blue. Gloves and pants would be white. Trim and lightning bolts yellow. This isn't a big departure from many of the classic costumes the character has had. Please notice that he does have sleeves. I kept the haircut conservative. I wanted his look to scream 'traditional super hero'.

Timber Wolf is another poor sole who suffers from 31st Century Sleeveless Syndrome. His previous costumes have ranked from straight super hero to urban fighter. He's also had some tricky costume issues since his color scheme of orange and dark brown were swiped by a Marvel Comics character with a somewhat similar power set, Wolverine. Well, it time he took it back. The shaded areas would be dark brown with the non-shaded being orange. Timber Wolf also used to have very animalistic facial features and a haircut that seemed to resemble wolf's ears. While it did set the character apart from others visually, I didn't see much need for it. I kept it short and spikey figuring the character would want a hair style that's low maintenance and out of his face. Having a set of slightly larger canine teeth to resemble fangs would work nicely too.

Wildfire was another favorite of mine from childhood. His costume is different because it serves a distinctive function. It's a containment suit. The character was human put has been transformed into an energy based being. The suit keeps him from dissipating. I went with a more armored look. Had to keep the trademark face visor on the helmet. The main armored parts of the suit would be red with torso and sleeves being orange. I put his "winged star" emblem on the shoulders of armor. Its a bit of a departure from the classic look but not as much as the see through casing with little armored bits here and there look. I don't need to see his glowing innards. The character may be more comfortable with himself and his glowing innards, but I don't have to see them.

Finally, we have Ultra Doof-AHEM-Ultra Boy. He's the last of the big trio that suffers from 31st Century Sleeveless Syndrome in the current incarnation. It's one think for a Legionaire like Blok to run around shirtless, after all he's a huge giant who looks like a rock. Ultra Boy is one of the heavy hitters, but the nature of his power means he's going to need a bit of protection provided by his costume. So I went with a jacket, gloves and a larger belt, like a weight belt. The thing with Ultra Boy is that he can only use one power at a time. If he's using his super strength then he's not invulnerable. The boots are kinda funky, but its a throwback to his original costuming. His color scheme has always been a bit much with black, red, brown, and green; but simplifying it wouldn't really help anything and only make him less identifiable. Boots, belt and gloves would be brown. Under-shirt and jacket trim would be red. Shaded area is black. The rest is green.

I thought about doing a Karate Kid sketch, but the current version is having a slight case of being dead.

Bring on summer!

I am a man with needs. My needs change with the seasons. In the fall I need caramel apples and a TV Guide. In the winter I need chicken and dumplings and thermal underwear. In the spring a break from too many sweets due to holidays and birthdays. In summer I have two great needs. One of these needs has not been met in quite a while. In my youth these needs were met every summer thanks in no small part to my father, and it seems that for the first time in a long time this summer will see these needs met again.

What do I need in summer?


I haven't been this excited about movies coming out in years. Even with 2008 when the box office was swamped by funny book flicks I wasn't this excited. Frankly I'm over being besieged with big screen adaptations featuring character deconstruction so we can get at the heart of why someone would fight crime. Hell, I'm not terribly excited by the comic book movies that are coming out this year and there's four of them. The only one that I'm even remotely interested in is IRONMAN 2 and that's because the trailer shows Tony Stark telling Congress something most Americans want to tell Congress, "No, you assholes, you can't have my stuff." I'm paraphrasing of course. In the actual movie Robert Downey J.r drops a string of f-bombs at them and kicks a Senator in the nuts. It's true. I read it on the internet.

But this summer, stuff blows up. You want to know what kind of stuff will be blowing up? Well I ganked some videos from Yahoo just to let you know. I skipped the KNIGHT AND DAY one because I'm bored with Tom Cruise right now.

OK, I'll tell you straight, I'm not the biggest Angelina Jolie fan. She's everywhere and I'm burnt out. Loved her in HACKERS, kinda didn't care after that, but she was hell on wheels in MR. AND MRS. SMITH. SALT has caught my interest. This looks like something really cool. I like movies that make my brain turn wondering what's really going on. That and I like spy stuff. So Angelina Jolie, meh. Angelina Jolie as a government agent who may be a double agent or may be being set up with chaos ensuing, I do believe I am in.

When I was a kid trying to negotiate a later bed time my dad made me a deal. If I could stay up an hour later and still get up for school without a problem one night a week for about a month he'd move my bedtime back. Well that night had to be when THE A-TEAM was on. Yes, I know Hollywood has been mining old TV shows for fodder to adapt and often its pretty ridiculous, but this time its ridonkeykongulous. HOLY CRAP! This look like everything I could possibly want in a Summer flick. Screw nostalgia, this has dudes kicking ass and blowing stuff up! What could possibly be better this Summer than this?

Oh wait...

I squealed. I squealed like a little girl with new Barbie Doll. I'm squealing right now as I'm typing this. The windows are open. The neighbors look concerned. This is actually the more serious trailer. There's another one floating around that's complete nuts and over the top. I think Steven Seagal and Jean Claude Van Damme and somewhere crying wondering why they weren't allowed to play too.

Now if you'll excuse me, I shall go enjoy my Easter an grin like a loon for the rest of the day.

The Urban Legend of Marty Nozz

Sometimes fiction becomes 'fact'. This happened a lot more often before the internet. In fact since the internet came about urban legends have shelf life. They eventually get proved false. It takes more effort to keep them going especially since information and access to records and facts are more readily available.

So, how was it that I had the flesh eating bacteria that attacked my leg and put me on crutches? How about that cocaine habit of mine? Why do I only work on my comic at night? Did Kevin Smith really buy one of my buttons from my previous studio? Did I really burn that house down? Was it indeed me who pelted PETA HQ with raw hamburger?

The answer to most of those is 'no'.

Urban legends start as rumors or just someone having a laugh. Someone says something that seems plausible enough, so people start believing it. Somewhere in the chain of events the fact that the source might not be completely accurate gets lost in the shuffle.

Let's examine the flesh eating bacteria bit. I chose this one because it freaked out about a third of students at James Madison University to the point that some of them skipped classes to avoid me. I was indeed on crutches for about a week or so. The reason for this was most likely a spider bite on the bottom of my foot, but due to the thick calluses from martial arts training there it was tricky for the doctor to say definitively. Still, some good strong antibiotics and some orders to try to stay off the foot were in order. This led to the crutches.

Fast forward about five days later. Me, having hobbled over to Dr. Geary's "Literature and Problem of Evil" class, sat amongst the rest of the 'M Squad' (I had my own super hero group in college. Its true because I said it on the internet.)and got hit by The Scorer (The official brains of the M Squad.) with a "Goddammit Marty, what the hell have you done now?" It seems his housemate were going to skip class because of the rumor that someone on campus had the flesh eating bacteria and it had put him on crutches. To the housemates, "It's just not worth it".

If a little thing like the potentially fatal flesh eating bacterial are going to prevent you from seeking higher learning, then college just isn't for you.

It did not take long for The Scorer to put two and two together and identify me as the center of the rumors, which I found out later had spread through about a third of the campus. Defusing this was simple enough. By the time it was getting close to fevered pitch I had recovered enough not to need the crutches anymore. So, not more guy on crutches pretty much solved it.

So, how did something so outlandish start?

At the time I was bit by the spider there were confirmed cases of the flesh eating bacteria in the city of Harrisonburg, Virginia where JMU is located. One person did indeed pass away from it. So the pump was primed for rumors of a student getting it to start. And it seems that the person who started it was... well... me. I was sitting in my drawing class reading for my next class because the teacher for the drawing class was hung over and didn't make it. Everyone went home but me because getting back to my apartment on crutches who suck and my following class was in the next building over. The studio had a radio, so it didn't suck.

Enter: James Bond.

Honest to goodness, his name was indeed James Bond. We all called him 'JB'. JB was a grad student who also taught classes in the studio. He dropped in to get some stuff ready for his class and found me sitting there with the crutches. We chatted a bit, because we were pretty cool with each other and he asked me what was up with the crutches. I told him, "Pretty sure its a spider bite, but the docs ain't 100% sure. I figure I'm cool as long as it's not the flesh eating bacteria." I was obviously joking, and even told him the doctors were sure that it wasn't flesh eating bacteria.

That didn't stop him from telling his class that it was flesh eating bacteria. I back tracked the rumor. Seems it started that one of the art students had it. That's why it took a bit longer to get to my attention, I was an English Major who took a couple of art classes.

I really should have kicked JB. I did yell at him a bit.

That's all it takes to get those urban rumors going. Just ask that Justin Bieber kid who it seems is not dead. Elvis though, still dead. One person saying something and other people believing him.

That being said, I want everyone readying this to tell everyone that this blog is the greatest thing on the internet.

Never know. Someone might believe it.

7-11 is our last hope!

Everyone thinks it's so great that the CERN LHC managed to work without destroying the world. Yes, the machine that's 17 miles long managed to overcome potential temporal sabotage and the concept that the particles they were trying to see may only be perceivable in a parallel universe in which they are not perceived. Scientists were saved from brown trousering themselves upon discovering that the ten billion dollar machine did not create a black hole that whole suck the planet into it thus making it impossible for them to watch THE BIG BANG THEORY on CBS and, oh yeah, killing us all.

So it's a good day if you care about sub-atomic particles.

Or is it?

It is theorized that black holes also serve as worm holes into parallel dimensions. Y'know, like that Jet Li movie where he fought himself. It ruled. Anyways, creating such things always has ramifications.

We are already at risk from invasion from parallel dimensions. Fortunately, we are prepared. An ad campaign, spear-headed by Al Gore, has made our planet seem like it is doomed and polluted and horrible and stinky hot. This is all to try to fool possible inter-dimensional raiders into thinking we have nothing to offer. In the event that invasion become imminent we will be hiding Olivia Wilde, Christina Hendricks, and Dichen Lachman in an undisclosed location so as not to tempt them further. We are prepared to offer them Lindsey Lohan as a trojan horse. She is really a biological weapon. She volunteered for this after making MEAN GIRLS, forsaking a promising career for the good of mankind.

Be grateful to Lindsey Lohan.

We also have a network of machines ready to repel the invaders. You ever wonder why those convenience stores that are open 24/7 everyday have locks on the doors? Those 'locks' really activate the stores hidden engines which transforms the stores into large combat capable robots. That's why the employees are often so rude. They are all highly trained combat robot pilots. They are instructed not stay in deep cover, so when they are robbed, they are supposed to not resist so that they don't blow their cover.

If you knew how much surveillance footage of supposed convenience store employees killing would be thieves with their bare hands have been destroyed by the government, you're heads would spin. That's the reason YouTube keeps going down. The Government has to remove such videos once they are leaked and then find everyone who did see them and wipe their minds. So if you haven't seen such a video on YouTube, then the odds are you have.

Sleep well, citizens. The secret protectors of the world are well prepared for the Horror's CERN may be unleashing upon us.

Something to say versus saying something

It strikes me that I've kept this blog more active in the last couple of months than ever. There was a time last month when I was bent of doing at least one post per day, but I wasn't able to pull that off. Both in February and March I have more entries than days on the month. Sure some of them are little goofy projects like my haiku reviews, which I'll be putting the last of up tomorrow once I secure and actually read my comics this week. Still most of the entries have been gripes and ramblings about actual stuff.

This is an awful lot of time and typing for a guy not making money for it.

I'd sell out, but I haven't clue as to how to go about it. There was that opportunity years ago to sell out when I was offered $10 to review a pheromone based cologne. Sure the notion of spraying it on Chris and turning him loose in the Red Dog Tavern so I good observe him like some strange, twisted show on Animal Planet was tempting. "And now we observe the mating habits of the wild Chris Johnson." But it was only $10 or some of the companies products, and I don't wear cologne. At the time I thought I was worth more than $10, but my Google Adsense has informed me otherwise.

So, why on Earth am I typing stuff nearing every day? Is it a desire to have some sort of record as to what I was thinking our where my head was at? Is it a desire to become a famous dude of words and letters and have money thrown at me because people hang on my every word? Do I just need to get this stuff out?

I'll take the $5.99 combo platter, please.

If I were smart I'd get on of them fancy sponsors and plug their stuff at every opportunity. This of course is conditional on a sponsor wanting me and me being smart. These are two things that seem unlikely.

Ah well.

Y'know, I meant to write about giant robots with Slurpee attack capabilities and using them to save the world from CERN. Yeesh. Maybe I am ADD enough for SCOTT PILGRIM.