Missus Nozz Weighs In

Mama Mia! Its Wednesday, September 15, 2010. Yes, the ides of September are upon us. The Missus had been quite vocal lately as I believe she's been exposed to a little bit too much pop culture now that she doesn't work night shifts anymore. Pop culture tends to do that to people.

THE ATTACK OF LADY REDUNDANT WOMAN!!

Missus Nozz was engaged in a lively debate with a former co-worker who was informing her that at the time you could get a blu-ray/DVD combo pack for a pretty good price. That's getting the same movie on DVD and on blu-ray in the same package. So the Missus asked the mighty question, "If you have a Blu-ray player, why would you want the DVD version?" Of course there was an attempt to justify such a purchase, but if blu-ray is the way things are going to gravitate to then there's no reason purchase the same movie in two different formats. They certainly didn't offer DVD/VHS combo packs now did they?

I'm in the DVD camp and firmly entrenched there. I like DVDs. Well, most DVDs. The ones that make you fast forward through the opening shillings for stuff instead of skipping them outright and going straight to the menu tick me off. That was what I really liked better than VHS. Still, the picture is nice a crisp and the sound quality is just fine. I don't need blu-ray, and won't be getting blu-ray until the machines are cheap as all get out.

However there is one really great thing about blu-rays: the people who bought into them and turned around and got the movies they already own on blu-ray even though those goofy machine will play the DVDs are selling their used DVDs back to stores because they have blu-ray disks now. And I love these people. I love them so. Its because of them that the used box at FYE is stacked an packed with great flicks for only a couple of bucks a pop. Watched BASIC with Travolta and Sam Jackson on DVD the other night. Awesome movie. How much did I pay for it? Four bucks.

THE MISSUS VERSUS VAMPIRES!!

"I'm done with vampires." She said to me as she got ready to for bed. We had just seen a preview for some movie about little kid vampires on TV which looked pretty gory.

"Oh yeah?" I replied. "Any exceptions to this?"

"Nope. Done with all of them." She replied after a moment which I presume was to run through a mental Rolodex of the thirsty undead. This is quite a statment coming from someone who wrote a report on Vlad Tepes in college. I guess its a good thing that we got through our viewing of ANGEL: Season 5 already. The vampire fad has really gotten out of hand. I used to really dig vampire stories and movies. Now the whole thing is so cliché.

The TV show THE GATES was on and since we don't have cable we figured we'd check it out. It all seemed weird enough for my liking. I spotted the guy who played Johnny Cage in the old MORTAL KOMBAT flick and that was cool. And sure enough about 12 minutes in: vampires. Again. That's right, we as a society have moved from "OH GOD! VAMPIRES!" to "Oh GAWD. Vampires. Again."

It would be so easy to blame TWILIGHT for all this. Actually, you know what? I'm calling an audible on the blog. I AM going to blame TWILIGHT for this! Those stupid books and those stupid movies with those weird looking people and that guy from THE ADVENTURES OF SHARK BOY AND LAVA GIRL who really needs to put on a damn shirt have completely ruined vampires. The market is saturated with vampire stuff. And most of it is stupid "oh its so tragic that they live forever but can't find true love" garbage that I want to drive a stake through the heart of those behind it. Last time I picked something up from Barnes and Nobles there was a table featuring "Teen Reading" and 95% of the book on it were vampire books. People in the store were no doubt wondering why I facepalmed right in the middle of the store.

Remember: if you love vampires, you're a necrophiliac.

If you're going to have stupid vampires in something at least put them on a Segway fleeing from Batgirl and Supergirl.

MUSIC!!

Today featuring one of the Missus's favorite songs to play on Rock Band!



That's the ball game for today. The WTF portion of the week is now in full swing. See y'al on the backside.

There you go.

Saw the "I <3 Vampires" ad again. saw the ad for the new series "The Vampire Diaries" which looks like they're ripping off that "Twilight" movie.

Just so you know:

If you love vampires you're a necrophiliac.

I <3 Vampires

I wasn't originally going to call this this little rant that, but I in my morning web-browsing I found an ad completely at random but that title and it seemed like fate. And if that title seems odd coming from a guy who just made fun of "Twilight" one post ago, then read on and all will be revealed.

I like vampires, really. They're great villains. You can kill them off in the required gruesome fashion and not feel bad about it. I've tried to write them as protagonists and even once attempted to write one as a sympathetic character. It just didn't fly. It boils down to one very important thing: I can't bring myself to care about the dramatic immortal plight of something higher than me on the food chain. Let's face it, they're pretty much zombies without the skin problems and better articulation.

The whole 'they live forever see the ones they love grow old around them' doesn't fly, because in all likelihood the ones they love would end up dinner. I did see a t-shirt with a line on it from what I presume was the 'Twilight' movie: "Your scent is like a drug to me." I imagine the actor delivering the line made people swoon with is urgent and longing acting as he used it to win the heart of girl in the film who meets him and despite the fact that potential he's gonna kill her cannot stay away. (And if this isn't the case in the movie, please don't comment to correct me, because I don't care.) If this is indeed the case, I can see why the vampire in question is so smitten with her. He's got no game and she's obviously stupid. It's a match made in Beverly Hills 90210.

So, if this is the case then how do I feel about Angel and Spike from Joss Whedon's series BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER and ANGEL? I approve of these for a few reasons. Primarily, Whedon is wise enough to make fun of the whole brooding immortal bit in many other characters telling Angel "He should get out more" or the like. Also, there's nothing 'sexy' about vampirism in these shows. You lose your soul and become infested by a demon. Your face twists into something monstrous when you feed. The feeding itself isn't the trading fluids/metaphor for sex cliché either. It's a nasty predatory affair.

So pop culture aside, let's go literary. I tried to read Anne Rice's vampire books. Got bored into a coma and missed 1997. Thanks Anne. So, back up the trolley further to Bram Stoker's DRACULA. This piece struck the precarious balance between the vampire as the seducer and the monster. He was evil as the night is long no doubt about it. He was also an evil that liked girls; preferably young, hot ones. There's no conflict about bumping off because if you don't he's either going to kill you, bang your girlfriend before killing her or both in whatever order is convenient.

So, with the current vampire fad rampant with a certain recent DVD release, am I worried that the current piece of fiction I'm writing won't fair well because there's vampires in it that are evil? Nah. End of the day, vampires are great bad guys and nine times out of ten really lame goods guys. So, get out the garlic and stakes.