The Flash Premiers

I didn't like it.  Seriously.  I don't like that they dumbed down Barry Allen.  They already did the "my love interest is the daughter of a police officer" bit on Arrow.  Oh and Geoff Johns is involved so, of course, there has to be a dead parent.  And putting a Thawne on the police as a foreshadowing of a potential bad guy HAS BEEN DONE TO DEATH!!!


Come on!

They were doing that back on the first season of SMALLVILLE.  They going to try to make us like this guy and all us good little nerdlings are going to wonder when he's going to go bad.  All us hardcore nerdlings are going to speculate if he's Barry's twin brother or from the future.  Some of us will speculate if Iris is from the future.

And damn it all anyways, I love you Tom Cavanagh.  I do.  I loved you on ED.  I loved you on SCRUBS.  I thought to myself, "he's a scientist, I can get behind this".  Nope!  Just miserable.  The cheery guy was annoying as hell.  The mopey girl was a complete downer.  I'm sorry her fiancé got killed in an accident nine months ago, but YOU STILL DON'T SMILE AT ALL?!

Thank God AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D. was on after that, so I could wrap my TV viewing up on a better note.

The DC Universe as a Living Metafictional Entity

Grant Morrison stated that he intended to prove with his series FINAL CRISIS that the DCU is a living thing. He also said he intended to have sex with it, but that's besides the point. So, was Morrison serious about the DCU being a living thing or was it mad ramblings meant to sell books? I believe it's the former. So let's examine the DCU and through it the super hero genre.

The Super hero genre and the DCU in Three Dimensions

Now, it is said of super heroes that the two ends of the spectrum are Superman and Batman and every else is somewhere in between.

Superman<---------all heroes------------="" other="" the="">Batman

There's a bit of a problem here. It's flat. Nobody likes flat fiction. That's its own problem. It's a problem relating to this subject in that nothing exists two-dimensionally. We need a three-dimensional model for this thing to exist properly.

Through this necessity we can examine the super hero genre and the parts that comprise it. The DCU offers prime examples of these three dimensions and through them some insight into the genre.

This diagram is simplistic of course, but it makes for a decent base to move from. Let's go through these dimensions briefly.

Superman represents the science, or more aptly science fiction, in this equation. A being from another planet, and a futuristic one at that. He is also considered one of the most powerful characters in comics. His nickname "The Man of Tomorrow" invokes the image of hero performing fantastic deeds in a world we can barely image, but is getting closer every day.

Wonder Woman is a direct link to mythology with her origins and powers stemming from Greek Myths. This is magic. This is the unexplainable. This it the pool from which the genre sprang from. Superman was not the first super hero. Odysseus, Gilgamesh, Arthur Pendragon, the Monkey King and many other preceded him by centuries. Wonder Woman is the representative of the past.

Batman is the best of humanity. He has taken personal tragedy and used it as a catalyst to transform himself into an ideal. His skills are vast and varied, encompassing multiple physical and academic disciplines. He has taken the lessons of his past, applied them to his constant preparation for the future and thus made himself incredibly formidable in the present.

So we have out three dimensional construct. Time to put it into motion.

Applying the Fourth Dimension

The Fourth Dimension is time. Nothing stays static. We are all moving forward on the timeline. When we are discussing movement in relation to super heroes, there's only one character that exemplifies this:

The Flash moves the genre. We have had the Golden Age, Silver Age and the modern Age of comics. The Flash has been key to each transition. The creation of Barry Allen marked the beginning of the Silver Age. Barry Allen meeting his Golden Age predecessor Jay Garrick introduced the concept of the "Multiverse". The concept of the Multiverse was shelved during the 1985-86 series "Crisis on Infinite Earths" which included the death of Barry Allen. This series also transitioned the genre out of the Silver Age.

With Barry's death, we saw Wally West take up the role. This was the first time a "sidekick" has moved on to permanently graduate up. Wally West as a character was also at the center of DCU moving past the 90s grim and gritty trend. Writer Mark Waid spent the 90s taking Wally West, who was a well written and very unlikable character, and turning him into a model of character development. This was the beginning of a mini Renaissance for the genre which led to Waid and Morrison launching JLA. The exploits of the heroes took on a scope that was usually reserved for major "events", and this was due to amazing writers pushing their way to the forefront. This was made easier by The Flash, courtesy of Mark Waid, paving the road with a red blur and lightning strike.

The Imagination of the Imaginary

Grant Morrison wrote in "Batman R.I.P." that the Fifth Dimension was Imagination. This brings us to a character that can create anything he imagines.

Green Lantern like the Flash has had different characters taking the name. The common element to these characters is that each had a ring that could manifest anything they imagine. What is fun to note here is that the three main characters to take one the role of Green Lantern also represent each of the three dimensions I wrote of earlier. The Golden Age character was Alan Scott, and his ring was powered by magic. In the Silver Age, Hal Jordan received his ring from an alien race. Kyle Rayner took up the role and although he received his ring from the same aliens he brought out a different aspect to the character in that he was an artist. It was his humanity that set him apart from the others.

So, could the Green lantern Rings have a connection to the Fifth Dimension that is home to the likes of Mister Mxyzptlk and Bat-Mite? Well, that's speculation for another time, but the possibility is there. It's fairly evident in the mechanics of the Rings. Previously, when charged, the rings could create nearly anything for twenty-four hours. Currently, it is usage to depletes the charge. Perhaps the rings tap 5th dimensional energy and the process and mechanics of tapping the source has changed.

Speaking of Mxysptlk and Mat-Mite, since the Fifth Dimension is imagination, were they created by characters within the DCU? Did Superman creat Mxyzptlk? Time to move on.

Identify the Vampiric Space God in the line-up, Please.

FINAL CRISIS crystalized the concept of something outside the genre preying upon the genre. The Multiverse changed them and then they changed the Multiverse. The Fouth Wall was broken and we were introduced to the Fifth Wall. We are shown a mechanism containing 52 universes, each containing stories. These stories influenced the Moniters, which in turn had influence in the 52.

The Multiverse or 52 is the in comic representation of the superhero genre. It is something created, which has taken on it's own life and now influences the culture. It nourishes young minds and imaginations, only to have some of those minds grow up to contribute new stories to it. It's a symbiotic relationship. The genre has a will of it's own. It has a voice speaking to us in the gutters of the comic page. It has reached out beyond it's original medium to capture new minds and imaginations.

It grows. It consumes. Yes, it even poops.

The DC Universe is at the heart of the super hero genre, and the DC Universe is alive.

The old and crouchity top ten.

In honor of Disney Pixar's UP I've slapped together a new top ten list for my favorite old dudes. Enjoy!

10: Alan Quartermain. Played by Sean Connery in the LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMAN movie. Got to love anybody highly annoyed with having to put on his glasses before shooting someone from 300 yards away.

9: Whistler. Played by Kris Kristofferson in the BLADE series. Didn't really like the sequels all that much put the guy who's so old and mean that he'll have smoke while spilling gasoline all over the place is alright by me. this is just as long as I'm not gassing up my car next to him.

8: Egg Chen. Crazy old bastard mystic from BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA. I'd name the actor that played him, but frankly I always just call the guy "Egg Chen".

7: Jay Garrick. The elder statesman of the Flash family. Sure he's typically a nice fellow, but still has a tendency to throw a hypersonic beatdown to show the youngsters why he rules.

6: Honey Roy Palmer. "No one can beat ten men in a day." Honey Roy Palmer sure as hell can. Just see DIGGSTOWN with Lou Gossett Jr. as Roy for proof.

5: Walter Bishop. You come to FRINGE for Anna Torv looking hot, you stay because Walter Bishop if crazier than a toad licking squirrel.

4: Obi Wan Kenobi. Whether he's scaring Sand People, hauling Luke into seedy bars or subverting an Empire you've got to love ol Ben.

3: Gandolf. Sure he's an old hippy, but any old dude who'll put the spurs to a Balrog while falling through the world is alright by me. Bonus points for being ornery with uppity little Hobbits.

2: Bruce Wayne. I miss BATMAN BEYOND, where you get to see a three days older than dirt Bruce Wayne being old and pissed off all the time complete with Ace the pissed off Bat-hound. Nice to know he doesn't let his bum ticker stop him from slapping around punks.

1. Boris the Bullet Dodger. I have a soft spot for crazy Russians. What's better than crazy Russians? Crazy old bitter Russians, with guns, who get pissed off at things like getting shot and hit with cars. I do believe I'll be watching SNATCH today.

Eat your heart out, Leonard Snart!

Yes, I'm continuing banging the drum as to why FLASH: REBIRTH is wrong in nearly every way imaginable. This may seem petty and vindictive, but I get cranky when the unspoken yet fundamental rules of popular culture get stamped upon. So, here we go looking way too deeply at the paradigms that mold the science fiction sub-genre which dominates the particular medium I love and have loved for decades.

Superman was first. He started it. He's the iconic figure representing science fiction in the sub-genre in that he's an alien from another world who's very presence on Earth gives him nearly omnipotent powers. Batman is on the opposite end of the spectrum representing the pinnacle of human achievement and using personal tragedy to form himself into something greater. Wonder Woman represents the aspect of mythology in the sub-genre giving credence to mysticism and tales of ancient times. These are the three fundamental aspects of the whole ball of wax: humanity, mythology and pure sci-fi. This is why these three characters are not only considered the "trinity" of the DC Universe but of the sub-genre of comic book superheroes.

So where does The Flash fit into the key elements of all of this? It's simple. The Flash does the obvious: he moves.

The Flash is what moves the genre forward. The creation of Barry Allen ushered in the Silver Age of comics. Hell, everyone immediately recognizes the Carmine Infantino designed costume and I guarantee that every speedster character created since owes at least a small nod to that design. Following Barry's creation in 1954 came a revitalization on the sub-genre that even spread over to Marvel in 1961 when Stan Lee and Jack Kirby made that company what it is today.

Then came Barry Allen meeting Jay Garrick. This added in the concept of the "multiverse" into DC continuity. This opened the door for characters from the old Whiz and Charlton comics to make their way into the DCU. Think of the DCU without Captain Marvel or the Blue Beetle for a moment. Not a very nice thought.

The Flash mythos knows when to pass the torch. They knew the time was right for Barry Allen to start running and move away from Jay Garrick. Likewise they also knew when it was time for a sidekick to actually fulfill the promise of the role. Wally West has grown up, too grown to be Kid Flash. The time for the 'Multiverse' in the DCU was to come to an end. Barry Allen was killed off. The character that had introduced the Multiverse concept died in the same storyline that the Multiverse did.

But as always, the Flash moves forward. Wally West picked up the mantle. Sure, Dick Grayson was Batman for a short while. Donna Troy has been Wonder Woman. Wally did it first and, unlike Grayson and Troy, his move stuck. This opened the door for the creation of new and exciting characters just as Barry Allen's creation had. Think of the DCU without Kyle Rayner, Connor Hawke, Ryan Choi or Jamie Reyes. When you're done cringing, thank Wally West.

Despite the forces that would make the genre a dark and 'gritty' area of the pop culture imagination there will always be things moving the thought stream in the right direction. "When Mark Waid took over writing THE FLASH, Wally West was one more 'realistic' jerk in a field obsessed, since the mid-80s, by rapists, serial killers and tormented, unshaven 'heroes' doing tormented, unshaven, repetitive things." (Morrison, 1998) Then came the start of the greatest study in character development in comics. "Born To Run" didn't just change the Flash, it was the start of a movement in comics which saw heroes being heroes again. Saving the world every Wednesday and still willing to rescue a kitten out of a tree.

In all these times of great progression it's been the right time. Something in the collective subconsciousness knew it was time to move forward. Something was in the air and things that were as grand as year long events, as interesting as a new writer seeing things differently or as simple as one person wanting to tell a cool story changed the course of an entire sub-genre.

The forward progression is important. Mark Waid made people stop asking the stupid question of "When is Barry coming back?" Great writers do such things. If you want more proof, did out old issues of STORMWATCH and notice how the question "When's Diva coming back?" promptly stopped after Warren Ellis knocked the fanboys on their flabby asses.

And herein lies the problem with FLASH: REBIRTH.

You can't move onward when it's not time. The idiotic notion of "It's not a Crisis until a Flash dies" had been snuffed back in ZERO HOUR where it was thought that Wally West perished. What readers were subsequently treated to were THE FLASH #0 (Which is easily one of my favorite Flash stories of all time) and then "Terminal Velocity" which had to be one of the best love stories disguised as an action story anywhere. When the edict came down that there was to be a new Flash after 2005's INFINITE CRISIS if was doomed to failure. There was no one ready to pick up where Wally left off. This led to aging Bart Allen to adulthood, thereby stealing what was left of his youth and forcing him into the role. The progression was forced. It was obvious, and it could not be sustained.

Now, since the current editorial powers could not shift things forward, they shifted it backwards, back to Barry Allen. This move is doomed for multiple reasons. First, and as I've said before and repeatedly, you do not move forwards by passing the baton backwards. Second, this move had always been done with Green Arrow and Green Lantern. The Flash leads. He does not follow. If the will and consensus of the tides that are the ocean of humanity's pop culture imagination had decreed that it was time to dig out all these Silver Age characters and have them drive the stories then Barry Allen would have been the first one back.

This project is doomed. It was from conception. Not every editorial staff can be blessed with being in the right place at the right time and having magic happen under their watch. A guy in New York needs to stop trying to force it.

Look forward.