Scott Pilgrim versus Marty Nozz

Hey, what the hell happened here? I've lost top billing in my own blog? Bastard!

Comic book movies aren't letting up with IRONMAN 2 and THE LOSERS heading our way this year, but there's another one that I predict will be doing why well at the box office.

That's right kids, SCOTT PILGRIM VERSUS THE WORLD will be hitting a theater near you. I suspect the buzz shall be hitting a fevered pitch this summer. In fact I've already seen the effects of the trailer hitting the web. The local Barnes and Nobles had a distinct Scott Pilgrim shaped hole on its graphic novels shelf. Volumes one through five of the book sat in their colorful covered glory quite peacefully before the trailer was released. Now they a tell tale gap. This I approve of. If the movie trailer can get people to actually pick up the comic and read it, then I'm quite happy. The thought was with comic book movies that they would boost the sale of the comics which the source material draws from. Unfortunately typical folks won't go buying the books when they can way for the DVD. There tends to be a nominal rise in sales, but that often goes back down to where the sales were at before usually after a month.

This comic has a fiercely loyal following, and I'm not among them. I had seen the books often, but would look past them repeatedly. This seemed to be a good time to look in on this. So, I got done with work a little early and read the first three volumes. There are five volumes currently available and the six and final one will be released this summer before the movie.

The title character is a slacker, bass player in a garage band who falls in love with a girl and must battle her seven eeeeeeevil exes if they are going to stay in a relationship. There's a lot of video game references, and weird battle scenes are sprinkled in here and there.

I found myself really not liking this book. Maybe I'm not cool enough. Perhaps, I'm not ADD enough. Maybe I just got off on the wrong foot with the main character. Y'see we're given his vital stats upon being introduced to him:

Name: Scott Pilgrim
Age: 23
Rating: Awesome

I'm still waiting to see qualification and justification for such a rating. The guy came off as kind of a douche to me. I had no interest in his pursuing a relationship, nor had anything invested emotionally as to the outcome of the story. That's just me though. There's a pretty fiercely loyal fanbase for this book, and they're probably think I'm a moron for not liking this.

I like the book is weird for the sake of being weird. I get that this is a piece about entering into a adult romantic relationship and with that you have to deal with the past of the person you let into your life. I also understand that each of the seven eeeeeeeeevil exes represents a different level of dealing with your new relationship and dealing with the baggage that comes with it. Its a thoughtful and often amusing book.

It also bored me half to death. I bailed after reading halfway through the story. That's three volumes of this, which exceeds my three issue rule, so I've done my due diligence. If you like the book, bully for you. I'm sure you're very excited about the movie and hope it doesn't disappoint.

I'm skipping this one.

The Yin, the Yang and the Vote

It occurs to me, and I'm not alone in this, that people just don't care anymore about things running properly. In fact as long as they get their way in terms of policy anyone screwed over by those policies can piss off. Had a nice discussion with Chris the other night as to why the Healthcare Bill is bad, and it all boils down to something that you have to learn as a martial artist: balance.

Government is all about Checks and Balances, or at least it used to be. The concept works in that there's ways for certain things to be stopped if the one part of Government goes off the reservation. This is why "Super Majorities" are a bad thing. It removes balance. The Healthcare Bill got rammed through by the majority with no regard for the ideas and concerns of the minority. You may be thinking, "Well sure. It's a Democracy. Majority rules." Yes, but you're forgetting a part. Its "majority rules, but with minority rights".

I unfortunately got into it on a web forum with a bunch of people pleased as punch about the Bill. You see, it serves their purpose. It doesn't matter that it's bad for people because they are only seeing the good. Its pretty sad because they are willing to overlook things in that Bill, which is now unfortunately a law, that they don't like one bit. Like being fined for not purchasing health insurance. That's bullshit no matter how you look at it. It's an attack on personal choice. But instead of saying "Wait, this is wrong. Get rid of that crap." it's blown off for the 'greater good'. Insert HOT FUZZ reference here.

Then we see supposedly smart people acting stupid because if one side of politics is criticized then attacks on the other side are triggered. "I don't like that Obama did (insert whatever here)." "Well, Bush did the same thing and you didn't complain!" Well, people would be a bit surprised by the things I complain about, and if they complained about Bush taking away people's freedoms and expanding government than why the hell aren't they complaining about Obama doing the same thing? It actually generates a little confusion when I complain about this administration spending way too much money, and when people try to counter with saying Bush spent too much, I agree with them.

And people, we're over a year in. If you're trying to still blame Bush for everything that is wrong with this country: shut up. You're being stupid.

Right now we have two sides.

First you have Democrats. They tend to be Liberal. This means the Government should be taking care of the people and should be the main problem solvers. They also think people should make whatever choices they want with their lives. Does anyone need me to spell out why those last two statements don't really work that well together?

On the other side are the Republicans. They tend to be Conservative. This means people should be responsible for themselves and the free market should be the main problem solvers. They also think people should adhere to a strict moral code, typically a Christian one. Not the religion itself, but the moral code that is laid out in Bible. Works a bit better, but has its own inherent problems.

So these sides are battling it out because a while back the Republicans held a heavy majority and now things have swung the other way hard. Things are looking to swing back on the next vote. The good thing is we have the ability to remove people in power we don't think are representing us well. The bad thing is you have at least two years of people being really pissed off. I say two and not four because Congress tends to get shuffled over to side opposite the sitting president during the next Congressional vote. This is a good thing. Remember that Checks and balances thing I mentioned?

And unfortunately we had a Super majority in Congress so one side could put through really whatever they want. It doesn't matter that it could hurt some people, because it helps the people the party in control care about. That's when you get things like this:

Imagine you're locked in a huge underground nightclub filled with sinners, whores, freaks and unnameable things that rape pit bulls for fun. And you're not allowed out until you all vote on what you're going to do tonight. You like to put your feet up and watch "Republican Party Reservation". They like to have sex with normal people using knives, guns, and brand new sexual organs that you did not know existed. So you vote for telelvision, and everyone else, as far as the eye can see, votes to fuck you with switchblades.
-From TRANSMETROPOLITAN written by Warren Ellis

See, there's balance in all things, including Government. At least there should be. We had an energy bill here in Virginia. Democrats and Republicans sat down and hammered the thing out. Both sides had stuff they wanted in there. Both sides had stuff they gave up. The end result was a bill everyone could live with. If you're thinking "compromises aren't going to work in these desperate times", stop for a moment and think about exactly who is telling you times are desperate. Are they really desperate? Do they really need 'extreme' measures and reform? Or is it just a bit of scare tactic designed to get you on their side so a radical agenda can be pushed?

Note I used an example of properly working Government on a state level. Another check and balance: States Rights. Sure this isn't as powerful as it was before the Civil War, but it's still there. What is good for West Virginia might not be good for Virginia. Way too much is being decided by people who don't live where you live and don't see the problems you see. They're inside "The Beltway", and many of them really should go home for a bit get back in touch with the people they should be representing.

Here's where I piss off Liberals: Capitalism is a good thing. It breeds success and innovation. It makes you work for what you earn. Here's where I piss off Conservatives: the Government is a good thing. It enforces the law of the land and handles things typical citizens can't like maintaining infrastructure and defending our country. Now, if those statements did not piss you off: congratulations! You are sane. If you are wailing and gnashing your teeth at either of those statements screaming "it breeds GREED", please figure out whether you mean corporate greed and or political greed, let me know. Then I'll put you in a cage with someone who said the opposite, and let you fight it out no-holds-barred. Place your bets here folks, because I might as well make some cash off this.

The free market should be checked by the law of the land. At the same time the Government need to allow the free market to operate and not do stupid shit like making demands on privately owned companies to engage in deals with people they don't want to, make people engage with contracts with firms they don't want, or making fucking automobiles. Both should work together to promote success and limit people becoming victims.

But being a victim is the popular thing nowadays. There's a whole lot of "it's not my fault" and victim of circumstance garbage going around. Well, someone needs to fix the problems of the people, and the people don't want to take responsibility for their own actions, so it falls to the government. There was a portion of the population who voted for Barrack Obama because they seriously thought they wouldn't have to worry about their bills or their mortgage anymore. These people are of course moochers and idiots. They do however bring up a very serious point: democracies get in real trouble when the populous discovers that they can vote for free stuff. Of course it's not free, but they don't care because someone else will pay for it. Perish forbid they get a job and earn it themselves.

But this draws attention away from actual victims. Bad stuff happens to good people every day. It sucks, but there are government programs as well as private ones to help people. We are a responsible society, and ultimately a good one. We help those we can. The motivation behind the Healthcare Bill was basically a good one. Unfortunately it's execution was terrible. It will help people, but it'll also raise taxes, kill jobs and take away freedom, ultimately hurting more than it helps.

I'm, as Mancow Muller puts it, a God, guns and guts type of guy, but I know others don't share my values and those values should not be forced on others. Our Government has degenerated down to a partisan sumo match. Some say that this is a good reason for a third party. It isn't. What it is is time for Americans to tell the people representing them to stop being assholes and do whats good for the country and not what's good for them.

Remember, politicians have two goals: gain power and keep power. The problem with government is that there's too many politicians in it.

So, for everyone wanting to snipe back and forth with the other side of the aisle, stop being stupid. Look at what is going on around you. Look at what is really going on. Learn about the law and the Constitution. Stop getting your information from "talking points" and start getting actually examining what the hell is going on. If there's something you don't like, ignore partisanship and tell your representative. Bitch at these people. Tell them what's on your mind. You can stir a surprising amount of shit up without throwing bricks through windows.

You people think you're smart? Start acting like it.

The government is NOT responsible FOR it's people. Its responsible TO it's people. This country was not made great by its government, it was made great by its people. The government should function to provide the opportunity for everyone to succeed, not be a nursemaid for people who can't of don't want to try to be their best. It also should be ready to give a helping hand to those who REALLY need it. That does not include those worthless pieces of trash out in Downtown Suffolk raised in a Welfare culture and choose not to work because food stamps buy booze and Welfare will pay for cable TV.

Get informed, and get ready to vote. The 2010 Congressional Bashyo is nowhere near over.

Nozz's Night Music 3-28-10

Feeling a bit upbeat tonight. Going with The Old 97s "Oppenheimer" from their album Fight Songs. It wasn't a terribly productive weekend, but it was a nice one.

Why I'm not going to see this movie, yet again.

I'm not going to see that new THE KARATE KID movie, because there's no Karate in it. I've been told, "But it looks good." There's a lot of people who look excited by this flick. It does look like a decent movie, its all Kung-Fu and calling it "Karate" anything insults my intelligence and is misleading in an attempt to cash in on nostalgia.

Let's but it in comic book terms. Let's say the new Superman movie comes out, relaunching the franchise. They retell Superman's origin, but they update it a bit. Sure he rockets to Earth from the planet Krypton and is found and adopted by the Kents which of course inadvertently causing a hole in his soul. The Kents are loving parents, and are fixing that hole in his soul when one day, before his powers develop, the Kents decide they want to go to the movies.

Well, it's tough economic times in Smallville and they get mugged after coming out of the theater. Jonathan and Martha Kent are both shot and killed as poor Clark can only look on. Afterward, Clark travels the world thanks to a huge insurance payout and the farm was doing well. He learns how to fight crime and during this time his super powers kick in. He returns home to wage his one man war on crime. Aided by his faithful farm hand, Al, Clark discovers a large cave underneath the Kent farm. Inspired by the creatures he finds in the cave, he takes on a costumed identity and becomes Batman.

But it's still a Superman movie, right? Superman fans should flock to see it, right?

And no, I'm not trying to give Christopher Nolan any ideas.

Nozz's Night Music 3-27-10

Its been an evening of drinking good beer, watching Rowan Atkinson and discussing everything from Michael Cera to Jon Stewart to the Thule Society. Jumping in the wayback machine for a little Supergroup Saturday Night. It's the Traveling Wilburys, y'all. That's complete with Roy Orbison.

You have the right to shut up and go away

In a nice morbid bit of legal action, a judge is having to block footage and photos of the death of a Seaworld trainer from being made public. Under State Law in Florida documents, photographs and video from criminal investigations go to the public record after the investigation concludes. The media say they want to see the footage and pictures to get a better understanding of what happened that led to the trainers death. Seaworld and, more importantly, the family of the trainer don't want this footage to be released, not because they are guilty of any wrong doing, but because they don't want pictures and footage of the woman's death published anywhere.

Of course the media say they wouldn't do it, but since NBC didn't have much of a problem showing footage of a fatal accident at the recent Winter Olympics who the hell is going to believe them. If those pictures and that footage go into the public record I guarantee you'll be able to find them online within 24 hours. Its a fairly safe bet that clips will be on the television complete with an anchor person doing there best stern face telling the viewers that the footage they're about to see is graphic in nature and not for young viewers. Afterward there will comments about how horrible and tragic it all is before segueing over to weather and traffic reports.

There is no mystery here. The details have been released in full. We know what happened. If the family does not want footage released, that should be honored. There's no debate here. Even that little Spider Jerusalem part of my brain that screams "The TRUTH no matter what!" is silent. The media know the truth, now its time to learn respect.

This is jogging up some particularly bitter memories. There was a plane crash well over ten years ago. My Dad reserve unit lost a team that had gone to Florida on a mission. They are an engineering unit, meaning they build things. If a landing field needs built in the middle of a desert, its unit's like my father's who get it done. Plane crash was due to weather if memory serves. My father lost friends on that flight.

My father, along with others then served as liaisons to the individual families who lost loved one and aided them through dealing with the paperwork that came up as well as keeping them informed as to what was going on with the incident investigation and memorial services. On a Friday my Dad was called into a briefing explaining exactly what had caused the crash. This information was going to be shared with the families the following day.

That night I was working to door at the bar, and it was a slow enough night that I could follow what was going on on the numerous TVs as the band was playing the obligatory Van Morrison numbers. There I stood, watching our local news give out the details of the crash. I took a break from in position, called the local TV station running the segment and told them that the families of the people who died had now been informed yet. I'm not an official anything so I kind of got brushed off. I still don't watch that channel, so no CBS for me. The next day my father got to walk right into a nice "why should we even talk to you since we got all the details off the news".

Anger. Perfectly justified anger. The truth. No matter who it hurt. No matter that the story would not have lost any relevance if it had been sat on for just 24 hours. People weren't even thinking about that crash anymore. It had been well over a month until the investigation had conclusion.

But, if it bleeds, it leads.

Like the blood on the ground after the plane crashed.

Like the blood in the water at Seaworld.

This is what happens when ethics take a backseat to desire for ratings.

Night Music 3-26-10

Feeling slightly funky and a little bit beat culture bohemian tonight. In my weird brain I see myself on a stage in a smoke filled coffeehouse half yelling, half singing, like a madman who couldn't decide between being a spoken word poet and a singing hipster. These are the things that play out in my mind while my brain is supposed to be cooling. Tonight, enjoy Elvis Costello singing "Episode of Blonde" from his excellent album When I was Cruel.

Haiku Reviews ( 3-24-10 )

Again I am tardy, but there's that pesky earning a paycheck thingie. The FIRST WAVE haiku is very late, but I only got my hands on a copy of the first issue last night. Again, if there's any complaints, please contact the complaint department. They'll promptly reply by mailing lice-ridden weasels to your house.


Graveyards and Jungles
Coffins hold more than bodies
Two-fisted action


Fighting Satanna
Comic shop gets a visit
Terrible Terra?


Good writing poor art
Neat mystery hard to follow
Dead men make men dead


Mon-El finds Kal-El
Future depends on cities
Worst is yet to come


Easy being green?
Miss Martian chases Gizmo
Yay festive milkshakes!

Where's my meds?

It's one of those days where my skull is bouncing in about a dozen different directions. Part of me wants to be depressed that my Government seems to currently be composed of a bunch of elitist pricks. Part of is content knowing America has a tendency of dealing with elitist pricks when they act up. Part of me worries a bit about speaking out decrying the Government because it seems the only jobs they're interested in creating are in the IRS.

Part of me is chilling in my own little world. That's not the world where I'm a super successful writer/artist/warrior who is undefeated in the UFC but still manages to put out his webcomic which is widely praised and generates obscene amounts of cash, all the while fending off offers from Hollywood and every major comic book company to work for them. Nope. This is the world that contains my stories and tends to generate plotlines faster than I can sit down and write them. It's a hectic place that has some concrete parts to it, but the areas around those clear areas are murky and formless and just begging for me to shape it.

Part of me is enjoying my current soreness. Comes from honest and productive labor.

Part of me is ready to scream that there's no good television, but really that depends on what night of the week it is since SUPERNATURAL is back on doing new episodes.

Part of me is actively processing new ways to hurt and injure people in hand-to-hand combat. My bunkai data processor is always running deep within my head meats.

Part of me wonders if this is normal processes. Have I finally just snapped? Am I well rounded or schizophrenic? My mind is pinballing out of control! What could possibly provide me with the calming yet compelling target to focus on?!

Oh wait.

New issue of POWER GIRL came out this week.


I'm good.


Nozz's Night Music 3-25-10

Warren Ellis does a little night music bit over on his site. I'm borrowing the idea for the weekend because I've been enjoying music a lot lately. For tonight its The Avett Brothers doing Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise from their album I and Love and You. Country music for people who don't like country music. Good night and enjoy.

Well, at least they're working

I'm wondering just how many super heroes Ryan Reynolds and Chris Evans are going to play. And what are they going to do for that eventual team-up movie when Captain America meets the Fantastic Four? Will Evans get double the play. I thought it was awkward enough when Cyclops was dating Lois Lane. Not to mention that brief scene with Ironman and Spider-man in the sack in that one flick.

Its all just so confusing for me to keep my continuities straight!

Here comes trouble!

You've all been warned!

I've seen the man drink. There was Karaoke involved. Not to mention him killing my shot with the waitress. Sure it was ten years ago, BUT I'M STILL BITTER!

Seriously though, congrats to Waid and the BOOM! gang. They do good work.

This is going to lead to another "pissed off top 10" list I just know it.

They called it "historic", and I suppose it's true. History is filled with Governments screwing people over.

I was very close to this just being me typing the word "fuckers" about 1000 times.

The curious case of Jason Todd

Right then. DC is making a full court press with its animated features. While I'm not obsessive over them they do look like quality work. The animation is all pretty and slick. The voice acting tends to be good. Still, if I'm not down with the story I'm going to skip it. I got WONDER WOMAN but I skipped GREEN LANTERN. I got JUSTICE LEAGUE: CRISIS ON TWO EARTHS but I skipped PUBLIC ENEMIES. So what will be next for DC's growing library of animated features?

Jason Todd.

No, I'm not joking.

Now I know there's one nut out in Joplin, Missouri who is beside himself giddy over this, but the sane among us are having serious Whiskey Tango Foxtrot moments here. Judd Winick pitched an animated adaption for his "Under the Hood" storyline and, sure enough, they went for it. Fine. Let's analyze this thing.

Let's start with Winick. MTV REAL WORLD: SAN FRANCISCO alum who worked his way up the indy comics ladder with his works FRUMPY THE CLOWN, PEDRO AND ME and the absolutely wonderful THE ADVENTURES OF BARRY WEEN: BOY GENIUS. He made his way into DC with the likes of Brad Meltzer, Greg Rucka and Geoff Johns. He followed Ron Marz on GREEN LANTERN and did some pretty cool stuff. He then was writing the ridiculously oversexed THE OUTSIDERS. Somewhere in there he was writing BATMAN and that when his "Under the Hood" story came out. He's a fairly solid writer, who has had points of sheer brilliance, however that has been balanced by his personal agendas leaking out into his work and questionable knowledge of fighting. frankly when it's announced that he'll be writing a comic the big question asked among fans is usually "who's gonna turn gay or get AIDS?"

I have read his "Under the Hood" storyline. It's currently out in trade. I can say its a good read. Its one of Winick's stronger outings into the super hero genre. But there's a serious problem with the work: it's in the center of a continuity typhoon bringing us to Jason Todd.

If there was ever a perfect storm of continuity, this would be it. This story links directly to "A Death in the Family" which came out well over a decade earlier. Also at the time of printing "Under the Hood" was marching along right alongside every other title in the DCU heading straight for INFINITE CRISIS, so things were going on the DCU which had a ripple effect on the story, and that's going to get painfully apparent quickly.

So what the hell is going on?

Jason Todd was the second Robin and murdered by the Joker. And by murdered I mean beaten savagely with a crowbar, blown up and then there's Batman finding the body. I mean dead. Not sorta dead. Not possibly dead. Not it could be a cunning ruse dead. Dead. There was actually a vote. Fans could call in and vote to this character to live or die and they voted dead, despite what that conspiracy nutter in Joplin will tell you.

So, how did he come back?

I could go on and on and on about this as it is easily the stupidest resurrection in the history of comics. Not just "I can't believe they were dumb enough to actually bring this guy back *Cough*BarryfuckingAllen*cough*" stupid. This is the brutal murder of suspension of disbelief stupid. What is boils down it is Superboy-Prime was sitting in another dimension, watching the Earth on his interdemensional television set, got pissed off, punched the TV and BANG Jason Todd was alive in the coffin.

So we have a character, that wasn't just voted off the island, he was voted off the planet by fans, being inadvertently resurrected by the in canon representation of fanboyism. Roll that through your head a bit.

For those of you yelling "Nuh-UNG! Jason Todd came back in "Hush"!" Yeah look, "Hush" is a lot of things. It's over-rated for one. It's also touted as proof that Batman can whup Superman and Jason Todd was back. While Jeph Loeb has written some good Batman stories, this was not one of them. Just look at the Jim Lee art and don't think about it too much. Jason Todd's appearance there was throwaway gimmick, much like everything else in that story. That book was all about "OK, let's see if we can get Jim lee to draw every last character in the Batman Universe except for Bat-mite and Aunt Harriet, and try to make a mystery out of it because people really like "The Long Halloween" but other than that just get all these characters together somehow."

So "Under the Hood" is the story that's next in line for an animated treatment? Really? Winick must have pitched my Nolan freakin' Ryan out there. I'll be passing on this one.

Maybe in a yin yang karmic thing SEVEN SOLDIERS OF VICTORY will get picked for animation treatment next? And while I'm dreaming I'd like a million dollars tax free.

Weird-o Pop, Nerd Rock, not gonna stop and bop 'til you drop!

OK, so video killed the radio star and then reality TV killed videos only to have them resurrected by YouTube. The more the music scene changes, the more I feel old. Mike Powers on The Mike and Bob Show said it felt weird holding and actual CD in his hand, and heard that and thought about the Black Sabbath 8-track that we'd jam into the old portable radio in the garage while hitting the heavy bag or practicing katas. The car I just got two years ago is the first vehicle I've ever had with a CD player, yet already it's obsolete.

There is a part of me that likes the fact that the internet makes it possible to bring art and music quickly and conveniently to my computer, even though I have no idea how to properly download music or operate an Ianything. Well, that's not true. I have IHOP damn near figured out. Yet part on me doesn't like the effect that the internet has had on music.

"People used to make records
As in the record of an event
The event of people
Playing music
In a room"
-from "Fuel" by Ani DeFranco

We love band. We hate bands. We hate bands, but love that one song they do. I have freaking weird tastes in music. I'm open to a lot of things, but some stuff just bugs me. Mark and Kristie recently wrote about Lady Gaga, and having heard absolutely nothing of her work and having heard she's a visionary it was time for me to investigate. So went on YouTube to find the video for her latest song "Telephone".

I found the tribute to it. I found the parody of it. I found the "unofficial" tribute to it. I found the parody to the tribute to it. I found the tribute to the parody to it. I found the tribute to the parody to the tribute to it which I think is official but may in fact be unofficial. However I still have not seen the actual video. I have the first part of the song about someone not having proper cell phone reception nine times now and it would have been ten but I lapsed into a coma due to my brain's defensive mechanisms which prevent me from from grabbing but everything I can lay hands on and weaponize on a bend to lay waste to whatever is in front of me when I get that fucking annoyed with something. So the neighborhood was safe, but I lost bout five hours and awoke brown-trousered and unable to form a coherent sentence for fifteen minutes.

Much like the great pop culture rivalries, like Pepsi versus Coke, Lady Gaga has set against her Taylor Swift. Which would you listen to? Which would you let your daughters listen to? Christ. All I know about Lady Gaga is that she has a stupid name, dresses really funny and is reported to have at one point in her life had male dangly parts. I spent the better part of a year thinking this Taylor Swift person I kept hearing about was a guy with a very cool sounding name. I could not have picked her out of a police line up comprised entirely of herself and a bunch of hobos until that incident with that douchebag Kayne West.

So, I'm out. I have no clue about these people other than their music doesn't do a damn thing for me. And none of you even try that "well you need to listen and disect the various layers of what she's really saying" shit, because if my brain needs that kind of exercise I'll read something by Grant Morrison. Lady Gaga is a freakin' weirdo, and she sings weirdo pop. And that's just fine. I'm glad weirdo pop is out there, but I'll be elsewhere.

I like nerd rock. I'm a nerd, and I rock, so nerd rock is the stuff for me. I remember way back in the day when something new happened, and they called it "Windows 95" and through that you could see something called the "World Wide Web" and we deemed it exciting. And what was one of the first things we saw? "Buddy Holly" by Weezer. There they were, spliced in with old footage from "Happy Days". I like Weezer. I approve of any band that has the Muppets in one of their videos and sumo wrestlers in another.

And then there's OK Go, who I'm damn sure only have a band so that they can make cool nerdtastic videos to go along with their songs.

They've embraced YouTube, because they had to embrace something since MTV doesn't really give a damn about music anymore. But I wonder now that since nu-record stores only exist as electrons scurrying along circuits do bands car about making great albums or just great singles which they can release through their MySpace page with accompanying videos on YouTube. The last really great album I've purchased was "Welcome to the Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance which skirts the fringes of nerd rock since their lead singer is Gerard Way who writes THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY, but transcends nerd rock with this album which is a concept piece in the same scope as "The Wall".

Maybe I am getting old. I currently have "London Calling" in the car's CD player with the image of Joe Strummer swinging that guitar towards the stage planted in my head. Bono may be old and pretengious, but when he was young and angry with albums like "The Joshua Tree" and "Rattle and Hum" U2 was awesome. I'm like black coffee that been sitting in the pot for a few days: old and bitter. And I like my music old and bitter too. When I'm not listening to nerd rock, there's a fair chance I'm listening to complaint rock. Yes, there is a Midnight Oil CD in my car somewhere.

WE had cute songs until the Beatles said "Let the Monkees have the kids." We had disco and bell bottoms until The Clash and Ramones said screw this, here come the 80s. Then the 80s got out of hand and the guys who were reportedly hard and dangerous wore spandex and had big hair, and the youth said "fuck that" and a bunch of pissed off guys out of Seattle armored themselves up with flannel and changed the scene.

And of course radio and television glommed onto these things and beat the masses over the head with them until what was new, exciting and different became the norm and mundane. Alternative became conformity. But that is the good thing about the internet. It's to unwieldy. And industrious artist who is willing to network his ass off can get is work into the eyes and ears of anyone with modem. YouTube can prop up certain artists, but if their work isn't to muster, then they won't be sustained. What's hot isn't measured by airplay, it's measured by mouse clicks.

People listen to and watch Lady Gaga because they want to, not for a lack of something else. I can't take that away from her now matter how much her music makes me want kick things.

Haiku reviews ( 3- 17-10 )

Yes, these are late. I worked nine and a half hours on a roof on Wednesday and did not make it to the comic shop until today. Please notify the complaint department if this was a problem and they'll promptly tell you to piss off.


Hollywood horror
Monsters hunt Old West Outlaws
Beware Skinner Sweet


The fight continues
Brainiac's siege takes a toll
Kara rallies forces

Looking for Strange?

If you are then head over to Emmy Jackson's awesome site. My entry was selected in her latest fiction challenge.

I'm unreasonably giddy about this!

Seriously, there may be emoticons.

I may have to get a PS3 just for this!

Yeah, the media maelstrom was quite a bit nauseating and its still gonna be popping up from time to time, but at least there's something fun on the horizon for us having to suffer through the news taking a break off from doing their jobs of keeping us informed of shit that actually matters and passing of celebrity gossip as something resembling important. That's right, kids: it's Tiger time.

Tier Woods may have been dropped by a bunch of sponsors, not to mention getting whacked in the dome by his wife, but that can't keep a weird looking dude down. Rockster Games, makers of the GREAT THIEF OTTO series of games, has agreed to sponsor Tiger on his comeback in exchange for use of his likeness in the first sports game from the company. I caught up with the developmental head of the impending smash hit game, Bernard Huffer, and asked him a few questions.

MN: Thanks for taking time to answer a few questions, Bernard.

BH: My pleasure.

So will the new Tiger Woods game be ready by the time he gets out on the course and starts playing again?

We're not sure yet. Really that depends on Tiger. You never know when he's going to decide to get back on the course. We are looking at a June release.

This is Rockster's first go at a sports game. What's going to set it apart from other sports games and previous Tiger Woods golf games?

Well, playing in virtual golf tournaments will only be one aspect of the game. There's also going to be missions and a game clock to try to give players a real sense of just how hectic the life of a professional golfer can be. Getting missions completed in a timely manner and still getting Tiger to bad on time can really affect the gameplay out on the course.

How integral are the missions to the actual golf game?

Oh they're vital. The training and practice missions can really improve Tiger's stats and give him and edge out on the course. But, depending on some of the choices you make in the game, some unlockable missions need to be completed so that Tiger's stats don't fall and he extra obstacles don't make things even harder out on the course.

Wow. That sounds really in depth. It almost sounds like there's two different games on there depending on your choices in game.

That's a good way of putting it. Players really do control the difficulty of the game through their actions. Let's say they have to go to a golf tournament. If they arrive, hit the gym, maybe practice on the course and then hit the sack, then they're going to have their stats maxed out for the actual tournament. But if they decide to pick up a girl or two at the bar, they're really going to have keep an eye on the game clock to make sure Tiger gets enough rest for the next day. Also it may unlock the "Find Tiger's cell phone" mission, making it more difficult to get to the tournament on time.

Couldn't the player just skip the mission?

They could, but then the tournament would get that much harder.

How so?

Well, then if they hit the ball in the rough, Elin is waiting for them in the woods with a tire iron. Its hell on your health bar.

Were you able to get celebrity voices for the game?

Well, Tiger's of course. We tried to get Jessica Jaymes, but we couldn't match the money she was getting dressing up like a soccer mom and playing the victim.

So what's the goal of the game?

Well there is multiple endings depending on tournaments won and records beaten in the career stats. We have plenty of really world stats in their like Arnold Palmer's and Wilt Chamberland's.

Sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun. Thanks for taking the time to answer my questions.

My pleasure. When will this piece be in GAME INFORMER again?

Got to go. Bye.

The Skyrocket takes off

I got my hands on The Skyrocket #1 last week from Paper Tiger Comics. This is the first book out from PTC and they made a strong start of it. Mike Federali weaves a tale about a bad girl gone good and the book is illustrated by Os Petroli. The book is in the super hero genre but definitely has an indy feel to it. It's black and white and very utilitarian in its visual storytelling. Petroli seems to be finding his way with things, but his work is solid and I'm sure he'll do nothing but improve as he continues. Federali turns in a good story and good dialogue.

The Skyrocket is Samantha Robbins, a science adventure gal who has turned over a new leaf after her father passed away. The book tries not to hit us over the head with exposition, which is hard for a new title. There's plenty of questions that need answered, but the reader isn't hindered by them. We don't need to know how Sam can fly, we just need to know that she can. The character design is refreshing. Sam is an attractive young woman who doesn't flaunt it. She's realistically proportioned. Her costume features neither a battle thong nor a boob hole and is in fact well designed and functional. She's even got a robot companion to talk with, and thank goodness, because Watson the robot is fun and this way the reader is spared massive internal dialogue which is just completely overdone in many titles.

Sam is trying to get back into the good graces of the law but has a pesky criminal record which a certain Agent Evans uses to get Sam to go on a mission for him. We get a few twists and turns, and a fair amount of action. It sets in a few effective plot hooks to get us to want to see issue two sooner than later.

I like this book. I deal a lot with second generation adventurers in my own work so this speaks to me quite a bit. It's got a bit of charm to it. That's going to carry it a ways as Federali and Petroli find their feet with this work. I'll be waiting for issue two to see where this takes me.

New feature

Since I've been at this for a while and there seems to be more and more of you actually giving a damn, I have added a a label list to the side to allow you all to look up anything I've said in the past about stuff. This will make it much easier for anyone who wants to find the one blog entry I felt the need to label "boobs".

I didn't put that there.

I just jumped on here to check on something and saw the latest ad on the right asking people to urge Congress to finish Healthcare reform.

I did not put that there. The bill that is before Congress right now is a bad one and I in no way, shape or form endorse that bill. Congress and the Pop-Star-in-Chief need to scrap that garbage and start over. Start with Tort Reform this time if they're serious.

If you want to do something good for healthcare, contact your Congressman, tell them to vote "No" on this bill and them try to do something more sensible.

This is not me trying to start a debate. This is me not wanting anyone to think that just because my Google Ads put that up there that I endorse it.

"I feel like a little pebble"

Yesterday was an initiation day of sorts. One of my students got bumped up from the kids class to the adult class. This happens for one of three reasons. Either the kid turns thirteen, gets their black belt, or just gets so big physically that they're just too big to be dealing with kids their own age in a physical activity. The kid in question turned thirteen, and as a good teacher, I told the rest of the class in the weeks leading up to his birthday, "Make sure you say good-bye to him... because you'll never... see him... again."

I've talked before about different types of martial arts, and yes I've pulled from many different types, but there is one thing that is certain about being in my Karate class: you're gonna figure out out to fight. Despite having a truly excellent moment in which he was stuck against the wall covered up in a "NOT IN THE FACE! NOT IN THE FACE!" fighting stance, the boy did alright.

At least he didn't hide in the bathroom for forty-five minutes like that one kid who quit.

I found out that after leaving my Dojo the boy who used to do that joined his buddy at ATA Tae Kwon Do Academy and is now a Black Belt. Kind of a shock to the class to discover this since the boy could not even get to green belt with us. The reason being is that he wouldn't try. Oh sure, he'd try really hard in drills and fighting when he was faced with an opponent smaller than him or in a show of class a woman, but faced with an opponent his size or even worse being made to perform a Kata and there was nothing there. It could be he florished in the other school with their instruction. It could be the art inspired him and was more suited to him. Maybe those were the reasons he progressed to Black Belt there in under year. Or it could be that ATA just wanted money and the boy's father wanted him to be a black belt. Such are the mysteries of martial arts.

So will our latest initiate to the House of Pain go the route of that previous kid? I highly doubt it. This kid gets the fact that getting a black belt under me is a years long initiation process which he is already a couple years into. He knows that there are going to be bruises and sweat. Sure he was a little intimidated fighting grown-ups and have to engage them in very physical drills, but he went at it full tilt with every tool that he acquired in the kids class. We only beat him 'cause we love him! Every time he got whacked in the head showed him where he needed to cover up better. Every time he battled back against the guys more than twice his size to the best of his ability his skills got pushed that much harder.

He was better walking out of that class than he was walking in.

He realized quickly that my group ain't right. We're a bunch of guys that enjoy hitting each other WAY too much. Its like we can't get through our weeks unless we have at least one good beating. When it was over and he sat there on a brief break getting his sparring gear off and catching his breath I asked him how he was feeling. He wasn't really sure. He said he felt like he had been beaten into a "little pebble". Kind of appropriate that we train in a church. Heard a rumor about some story that's been floating about them there churches about a pebble being used to take down a giant. May have to look into that.

The kid did good. Now let's see if he shows up on Thursday.

Is Obama a super villain?

See, I warned you people. Everyone thought I was nuts, but sure enough I was right. Everyone poo pooed my nay saying of Obama being put into all those comics. Well, everyone except Richard and Chris, however everyone thought it was such a nifty idea. Sure it gave the company a sales boost. Yeah, Joey got on the news for giving away 1000 of the Obama Spider-man comic. And of course we might not have comics like BARACK THE BARBARIAN if not for our Pop-Star-in-Chief.

But you have to wonder....

Would Spidey have given Obama that fist bump if he knew that he'd appoint Norman Osborne to be in charge S.H.I.E.L.D.'s replacement?

Since Obama has vowed to meet with any world leader without preconditions, he'll be having a sit down with Doctor Doom?

In the comments over in the blog post I linked to, our good buddy over at Teatime Brutality made the very astute comment that our comics are acting more like news and our news is acting more like comics. It just keeps going too. We have Nancy Pelosi, fresh off her Hollywood big break as being a stand in for Heath Ledger in THE DARK KNIGHT, making statements like, "We won't know what's in the bill until we pass it." It's called 'reading', you twit.

Even better is Michael Moore, who took time off from eating something, saying that he wants Rahm Emanual's job. I would like to say on behalf of everyone would has ever had a conservative thought in their life: Please do this. Pretty please with sugar on top. Let the entire world see what a farce this all is and let us get back to the business of being a great country again. At the very least you'll give Jon Stewart and Bill O'Reilly something to make fun of for years to come.

It's really all one big laughable farce. But we're under three years until Obama hits the bricks and hopefully we get someone in the White House who wants to serve the will of the people and not inflict his will upon the people. Still I don't wish ill upon the man and I'm sure he'll enjoy his next job which he seems to already be practicing for as a professional tennis watcher.

Originally I planned on watching an Obama speech and counting all of his 'uh's, 'um's and stutters, because really the man is not a good public speaker at all. He has an excellent speaking voice and that covers it up. I was also going to count how many times he looks from one teleprompter to the other and at five minutes in I was at fifty and just gave up. I couldn't keep up with it. Don't even get me started on his pauses.

Maybe he could be a super villain if PBS's WORDGIRL branches out and needs a villain that corrupts the ability to speak.

Redefining the cool.

Cool is a shifting thing. Things that are cool can quickly turn into things that are lame without much warning. Conversely things that are lame can also inexplicably become cool. I'm saying this because wearing my Justice League of America t-shirt out in public gets more praise than ridicule nowadays.

Actually the only person to ridicule it was the little bitch that works at that Hardee's (aka Carl Jr.'s for those out west) around the corner. The actual ridiculing took place month's ago but she was nice enough justify it by saying her boyfriend was a huge nerd and into 'that stuff'. I was nice enough to ask for anyone but her to take my order the next time I wanted to get a burger there. Her cute, punchable, smiling face twisted into a mask of confusion. She apparently thought we had bonded with her mockery of my shirt as well as me. I think she got the message when the next time I saw her working behind the counter utter 'It's just not worth it' and walked out of the establishment. She doesn't work there anymore thankfully. She's off to charm school, I'm sure.

But, idiot Hardee's girl aside, comics have actually become a bit cool nowadays. This is mostly due to the comic book movies that have been coming out every year like clockwork. It seems Hollywood is very interested in remaking old movies and mining comic books for content. But also nerds have invaded pop culture making it socially acceptable to admit in public to reading comic books. Guys like Kevin Smith and Joss Whedon have no problem dumping their beloved nerd references into their work.

Still even though comic books are enjoying popularity, sales are not through the roof. People would rather watch a DVD than read a comic. This is partially due to it being a bit difficult to actually get one's hands on comic books without knowing the proper protocols. Trade paperbacks and graphic novels are easily found in book stores like Barnes and Nobles, but unfortunately you usually have to get past the manga to get at it.

The manga itself is not the problem. Its some of the manga fans that make it more difficult. At one point I found myself being quizzed by a young woman about some manga that I hadn't heard of. Her English was sprinkled with enough Japanese names to make it incomprehensible and yet again I made a woman's face twist into a mask of confusion when I told her I had no idea what she was talking about. The manga and Graphic Novels were kept in the same aisle of the bookstore and she seemed incapable of comprehending my presence in that aisle having nothing to do with manga. Worse was the fat moron who accosted me in a Barnes and Nobles literally waving a manga book in front of me spouting off about the 'brilliant' storyline about an ancient wizard guy who looks like a twelve year old girl and teaches at an all girl school. I respectfully responded by picking up a FOURTH WORLD OMNIBUS and beating the hell out of him with it. I was asked to leave the store, but it was completely worth it.

So yeah, book stores are fun. Comic shops are fun too. Unfortunately there are still a lot of stores that seem like someone's mother's basement. That's why I shop at Comic Kings. They treat me very well and I can walk in there without feeling a sense of dread for being caught in there. The owner, Joey, does a few things that make the store stand apart. First off, the windows are not completely covered with posters thus allowing actual sunlight in. Second, the place does not smell funky. Third, the place is neat and orderly and you can find things very easily. That's why the place works.

We get our nerd on pretty damn well out here. The most popular afternoon drive radio show, The Mike and Bob Show, frequently talk about comic books, superheroes and Star Wars and their loyal fans eat it up. So let your geek flags fly people. It's alright to admit being a big ol' Spider-man fan. Enjoy it, because we could easily be back to being lame again. Our fleeting coolness could be gone in a snap, with no telling whether or not it will return. But no one thought breakdancing would come back, so there's always hope.

I'm on the verge of caring about Ironman 2

I didn't really like the first movie. Like THE DARK KNIGHT, it wasn't a bad movie, I just didn't really care for it. People say Robert Downey Junior was born for the role and nailed playing Tony Stark. It was more like Robert Downey Junior was being Robert Downey Junior and called himself Tony Stark for 90 minutes. Elements of the movie turned me off, like Stark reneging on his military contracts when his technology could keep troop out of harm's way. The CGI action scenes bored the hell out of me. To be completely honest, I was sitting in the theater with Meagan watching the first movie and there's Ironman in all his CGI glory blowing stuff up and being chased by jets and I was sitting there, quite bored, and wondering what they'd have more interaction between Downey and Paltrow. Their chemistry was easily the best thing about the movie.

So what has me interested? The beginning of this trailer.

I love the idea of a Congress being told a big fat "no" and them not being able to do a damn thing about it.

Indocrination success story

This morning my daughter, who turns 3 today along with her sister, wanted to wear her t-shirt with the Bat symbol on it but we couldn't find it at first. She ran about the house calling out "Batman, where are you?" To which I of course had to answer, "He's sitting in a cave in prehistory after escaping the Omega Sanction, honey, but don't worry he'll be back soon."

She wore this shirt on her shopping spree with Meagan to spend that $5 her great-grandma sent her that was burning a hole in her pocket. Five bucks goes a long way in the dollar store. They now have Spider-man activity books, Spider-man and Ironman bouncey balls and other assorted stuff which they picked out themselves.

They were also taken to Old Navy to get new t-shirts. Rachel picked out a Spider-man shirt. Nicole got a Bat shirt just like the one she was wearing only with short sleeves.

Kids are fun.

Nolan takes on Superman. Aw crap.

OK, Christopher Nolan is batting .500 with his Batman movies. BATMAN BEGINS was really great with a great balance of action, story and charm. THE DARK KNIGHT was two murders away from being 'terrorist porn', as a good friend put it whose name I will not mention because I'll be taking the ire today. I know saying something bad about THE DARK KNIGHT is considered high blasphemy in geek circles, but Batman getting the crap kicked out of him for three hours by the Joker was about as enjoyable as watching someone kick a dog over and over again.

But there's going to be a third movie of course because THE DARK KNIGHT made an obscene amount of money, fanboys think its the greatest movie ever made (hell some website put it in the top 10 of all time, of course they neglected GONE WITH THE WIND), and leaving the series in such a depressing state that the last film did would be horrible. Nolan said recently that the third movie will be his last and next up he'll be taking on Superman. So Nolan's Batman will be a trilogy featuring Bruce Wayne realizing that he's been trapped in the Nolan-verse due to the Omega Sanction, and while it's a set up from being trapped in ALL-STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN THE BOY WONDER, it's time to go sit in a cave in prehistory since quite frankly that would be a refreshing change of pace for the character.

What the hell is up with me and run-on sentences this morning?


So here's where I'm disturbed, by news, not in the usual way. SUPERMAN RETURNS was a flop. Of course it was, it was playing off of movies that came out twenty years ago. Also, it was boring and in parts insulting to my intelligence. Obviously the franchise needs a fresh start. However, when I see statements with the whole "going in a direction no one has before with the character" bit I'm left shaking my head. I don't panic, because that's stupid. No one can make me see the movie. It's not going to fundamentally change how the character is handled forever and forever. Its just a movie.

I'm disturbed because I'm going to have to hear about this damn thing. Geeks are going geek out and, Heaven help me, I got a lot of geeks surrounding me in my life. If Nolan brings the same sensibilities to Superman that he did to the Batman movies and MEMENTO then its going to be a crapfest. I'm not waving a doom and gloom banner. I'm not saying that Nolan has no chance of bringing something fresh and good to the table. What I am saying is that what works for Batman does not work for Superman every time. Nolan did say that he did not want to try to connect the two characters and that's fine. What we don't want to see is Superman doing the grim and gritty thing. It just doesn't work.

Of course maybe Nolan is going to do something fresh with the movies and actually have Superman throw down hard with a decent threat. That's why SUPERMAN II is the best of the series. He had to face something that could give him a good fight. They'll probably have Lex Luthor as the villain, which is fine, as long as he's got power armor that puts Ironman's to shame.

Now we just wait and see.

Haiku Reviews ( 3-10-10 )

Haiku round two just for you coo coo kachoo.


Lois Lane reports
Flamebird and Nightwing battle
False god of Krypton


An age old puzzle
Wayne Manor's secrets revealed
His return begins

R.E.B.E.L.S. #14

Space forces unite
Vril Dox has his end game set
His plans go awry


A job goes poorly
Children's lives in the balance
Ragdoll acts normal


Out for redemption
Former super villain fights
Giant dog beast thing


Brainiac attacks
Superboy and Legion help
Zod's not likable

Superman does not approve

I ganked the cover images for IDENTITY CRISIS and INFINITE CRISIS just wanting to have a little visual aid for those not fully up on DC. Just noticed a glaring similarity between the Michael Turner cover and George Perez cover. I'll forego any disparaging remarks about Turner's art due to it looking like he tapped onto something interesting.

These are the first issues of the respective series. Both of then feature multiple characters, but are centered around Superman with Batman and Wonder Woman also prominently featured.

Notice how none of them seem to approve of what's going on.

Seriously, these are the covers of the first issues of new series, and in another interesting wrinkle, both are alternate covers. Its like the characters Did the main covers and then got caught in an outtake wonder why they have to deal with this shabby crap.

This isn't the 'New age' I've seen.

In my review of the JUSTICE LEAGUE: CRISIS ON TWO EARTHS DVD I told everyone not to get the two disk edition because the second disk is worthless. I stand by that statement because it only contains a couple of JL cartoons and a documentary about the current 'age' of comics from the perspective of those in DC Comics who have shaped a lot of what has gone on. You're probably thinking to yourself, that this could be interesting and perhaps worth a view. Well, it is if you want to see some guys who seem to be completely missing the point.

The main point of discussion was the state of DC Comics from pretty much IDENTITY CRISIS to FINAL CRISIS. For those who don't follow DC this includes IDENTITY CRISIS, the comics leading up to INFINITE CRISIS, INFINITE CRISIS itself, 52, COUNTDOWN TO FINAL CRISIS, and finally FINAL CRISIS. This is years of comics here. A lot was focused on IDENTITY CRISIS, so lets start there.

Sales of comics were down around the year 2000. This isn't a surprising thing as the books had disappeared from the newsstands. You had to go into a comic book shop, know the secret handshake and then be ready to pony up at least two dollars for a comic. It's funny in the interview that Paul Levitz mentions sales being down in 2000, but also recounts how the first comics he ever bought were off a newsstand. Fanboys say that comics have grown up. Well they kind of have to when kids can't get their hands on them and can't squeeze a few dollars out of their parents for them when they do find them. Seriously, when I was getting JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA off that spinning rack at the 7-11 to go with my Slurpee it wasn't too hard to get my folks to pony up an extra sixty cents.

2000 came and went, bringing us to 2001 and a terrible tragedy: Dan DiDio's rise to power. DiDio was brought in pretty much right after the attacks on September 11th. He stated that he got a "feeling of dread" seeing the armed security around the Port Authority and he wanted to apply this to Superheroes. Poorly worded, but it later becomes clear that he wanted to convey a sense that superheroes were indeed mortal (in most cases I guess) and there are risks that came with that. He referenced the first responders that went into harm's way and wanted readers to know that there is risk that goes along with being a hero and that risk is still there when it comes to superheroes. The feeling was that readers needed to know that these characters could be hurt and that they could indeed die. This brought us to IDENTITY CRISIS.

I'm going to sidetrack for a little bit here, because that entire mindset both at that time and in retrospect is so ludicrous that my brain actually hurt while I was watching that documentary. This is what they were thinking in 2000? Really? Fresh out of the 90s and THAT was what they thought the readers needed to know? The previous decade saw the death of Superman, Batman getting his back broken, Aquaman's hand getting eaten off by piranha, Green Arrow dying and Coast City getting destroyed leading to Hal Jordan going off the deep end and eventually dying. I think the readers understood that the heroes could be hurt. In retrospect its monumentally hypocritical because we've seen in recent years the return of Oliver Queen, Hal Jordan, Barry Allen and Jason Todd to the land of the living. Death where is thine sting?

Back to IDENTITY CRISIS. This was written by Brad Meltzer, and I want it to be clear that I am a fan of his work. When his novels come out I snatch them up. He was just coming off of a run on GREEN ARROW which was pretty good and he wanted to do a Justice league story. His idea grew into becoming IDENTITY CRISIS. Meltzer excels at writing mysteries and this was a good mystery. It certainly caught my attention, but not in the way Meltzer had intended. I was looking for the other shoe to drop. I was sure that this was just the beginning of of something major, but what I was thinking was a bit further off from what the powers that be were planning. IDENTITY CRISIS was a lot of genre and character deconstruction, which I don't really care for. I got my fill of it with WATCHMEN. Still the stage was set for the heroes to become the victims. That little germ got started in JLA #101 and was spreading. DiDio claims "IDENTITY CRISIS will stand the test of time." Wioth apologies to Meltzer, I don't see that as a good thing.

The stage began to be set for INFINITE CRISIS. This was pretty much all done by DiDio, Geoff Johns, Judd Winick and Greg Rucka. The idea was to hit the heroes really hard to see what is brought out of them as characters. The series itself was written by Johns and was to be the sequel to CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS by Marv Wolfman and George Perez. It wasn't a bad story, but really it did pretty much crap all over the original series. The Flash had to 'die' because it was Crisis. Then there was a new Flash, whose series didn't sell worth crap and he got killed off, but he's back again. Superboy got killed, but he's back again. Four fondly remembered characters were brought back so two of them could die, one could be a prick and die, and the last could just be a complete bastard who everyone would like to just strangle. But there were good things to come out of it. The concept of the 'Multiverse' was reintroduced and that's a fun time. Also Batman began to cease being a complete prick, and was set up to go sit in a cave for a while which did him a world of good.

FINAL CRISIS was mentioned only briefly in the documentary and there was no mention at all of 52 or COUNTDOWN. I can't say as I blame them much for not wanting to talk about COUNTDOWN. If I had spent a year putting out a comic every week that had people laughing at it (not in a good way) and people who actually follow these things wanting to bounce their heads off of brick walls, I wouldn't want to talk about it either. On FINAL CRISIS DiDio said, "FINAL CRISIS is about being a hero in the face of a loss." That's such a gross oversimplification of the work that it borders on out and out falsehood.

Y'see, while DiDio was rolling through with his little "heroes can be victims" paradigm, something else was afoot. Its not talked about at all in the documentary. Heroes were doing some pretty wild stuff. They want to discuss comics in the 'Aughts' but they don't mention SEVEN SOLDIERS OF VICTORY? They don't talk about 52, which saw Mark Waid, Geoff Johns, Greg Rucka and Grant Morrison absolutely knocking it out of the park week after week for an entire year?

Dan DiDio wants it clear that superheroes can die. The genre answered him.

They didn't spend much time talking about FINAL CRISIS. That's understandable since most of the documentary was based on the concept of these heroes still being human. These heroes can die. And death is supposedly final, even if you couldn't tell from looking at the DCU nowadays. But FINAL CRISIS had it's say about things being final.

Yeah, that's pretty much everything you never wanted to know about the documentary on that disk none of you should purchase. Since you all were kind enough to read through all of this, you do deserve a little laugh, so here it is:Dan DiDio on getting his job in editorial at DC: "The first thing you had to do is you had had to shake out the fanboy in you."

Who says he doesn't have a sense of humor?


Dem dere aliens are a'comin' for us! They gonna kill the cows and shove weird probes up our poopers! They're coming for us! They'll enslave us all and take our valuable natural resources, like Jenna Jameson!

Wait, you mean those aren't natural?

As I hide from Tito Ortiz, I'm pondering scams. Its kinda funny that I got a Nigerian e-mail and then sure enough something else caught my eye. Yes, it's another YouTube video. Just shut up and watch.

So, is it real? I'm doubting it. It's certainly cool looking. Still, let's consider what movie was just such a massive hit at the movie theaters. AVATAR was mostly a CGI-fest. The tech has gotten to point that computer generated images can look real enough to fool a person.

We have gotten to the point that video footage isn't enough proof anymore. The video above needs to be taken somewhere reputable and analyzed before it could even be considered as hard evidence. The future is a tricky place.

So no, I don't think its an extraterrestrial spacecraft. I made jokes about cattle mutilations, and while gross I know what happens to a dead cow if it's left exposed long enough. As for crop circles, speaking as a guy who lived near a field where crop circles were found and 'experts' said that they couldn't be man made, I know they're fake. I know one of the guys who made them.

Still, doesn't explain how I woke up in that field with a sore keister and why it occasionally beeps.

Universal Constants

The world is changing around us as we speak. New technologies are being developed. Governments are making policies and implementing them. Artists are imagining new way to inspire people and capture their imaginations. Still in this amazing world where change seems to be the only constant an e-mail this morning has reminded me that some things never change.


Good day dear Friend,

How are you doing today? Hope your doing very much fine over there including your family.

Please kindly accept my apology for sending this unsolicited mail to you. I believe you are a highly respected personality, considering the fact that I source your profile from a human resource profile database on your country. Though, I do not know to what extent you are familiar with this event.

I am Barrister Korede Ogunkoya (SAN) Solicitor and Notary Public. I am the Personal Attorney to (MR. MACK C. LUDLOW), of who is a Foreign Nationality, who used to work with shell Development Company in Nigeria.

On the 21st of April 2003, my client died in his car accident along Sagamu/Lagos Express road. Unfortunately, he lost his lives in the event of the accident, since then I have made several inquiries to locate any of my clients extended relatives and this has also proved unsuccessful.

Then I contacted you dear friend, I contacted you to assist in repatriating the money left behind by my client before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank where these huge deposits were lodged. Particularly, the Bank where the deceased had an account valued at about 7.5, million dollars. Consequently, the bank issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account confiscated.

Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over some years now, I seek your consent to present you as the Next of Kin of the Deceased since you share the same surname so that the proceeds of this account valued at US 7.5, million dollars can be paid to you for both of us to share the money; 50% to me and 45% to you, while 5% should be for expenses or tax as your government may require.

I have all necessary legal documents that can be used to back up the claim. All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us seeing this deal through, also if I do not contact you the bank will definitely confiscate the fund for their own benefit and all I have labored for him will become in vain.

Honestly speaking I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you and me from any breach of the law.
Note that I am not trying to lure you into fraudulent business because of what the world are experiencing globally , and I am not just a witness to the fund but signatory to the fund when it was been Deposited in the bank by my Late Client before his sudden Death.

Be assured that I will effect every necessary Documents of Change Of Ownership that will authenticate this transaction on your name as soon as I hear from you, also I am still assuring you that it is 100% risk free. So you need not to be afraid.

Trusting To Hear From You As Soon As Possible.

Thank and God Bless.
Barrister Korede Ogunkoy(SAN)

Oh you zany Nigerians! Shine on you crazy blood diamonds!

It's been a good day

Yeah, I worked my ass off today followed by a grueling workout at the dojo, but then I found this.

Yes, I know I've been putting a lot of YouTube videos up in here, but I'm doing this for two important reasons. First off, I love Natalie Tran's videos. Second, a comment I made on a previous video got featured in her Porno Music/Comment time.

Little things like this make me very happy.

More tech stuff

Ellis had this clip up over on his site.

More wearable tech. This is a bit slicker than that rig I posted about a few months ago which had a projector hanging around your neck and used an IPhone for it's processing. Sure you could do cool things with neat hand gestures, but you were stuck with having to find surfaces to project on. This uses your body for input and doesn't require multicolored fingertips.

Is it practical? The jury is still out. Not sure if the tech will function if the user is wearing long sleeves or if they're in the rain and water drops are impacting their skin giving false signals. I'm also looking at the points on the arm that are being targeted. They're pretty near certain pressure points. I wonder what prolonged tapping of these points would do.

So the future is here, it'll be taking your picture and be worn on you.

Haiku Reviews ( 3-3-10 )

I'm going to attempt to do this all month, because I'm insane. The shop was all out of FIRST WAVE #1 so I'll have to tackle it later.


Meltzer writes Buffy
She now has super powers
An old love returns


Mysteries deepen
Batwoman tracks The Cutter
Babs helps The Question


Lots of Legion love
Last Stand of New Krypton starts
Sort of a prelude

Nature is a mother.

I do feel bad for Chile. Horrible time to have a natural disaster. A lot of people gave what little extra they could to help Haiti, and trying to get more to help Chile in many cases may be like trying to squeeze blood out of a turnip. That was a helluva quake too. I was in a few earthquakes when I lived in the Philippines, but nothing like that. Just crazy. Then it goes and sets off tsunamis, which gets me worried about Kristie out there in Hawaii.

This quake was strong enough that it actually shifted the earth's axis ever so slightly, meaning we'll have less than a second less of daylight.

Maybe they'll figure out a way to blame this for the big ol' snow that's dumping down outside. (Insert Global Warming mockery here.) I was in a t-shirt two days ago. Now it's dumping snow as a nor'easter is hitting us and the temperature dropped like a rock.

Was any of this on the Mayan calendar?