Marty versus V-Blogging

I love Youtube. Love it, love it, love it all the live long day. I get to watch martial arts clips and other fun stuff. I think it's really great how people can use it to share funny videos they've gotten or even use it to show off short films they've made. And yes now people have gone to the next level of Blogging and done video blogs to put on Youtube. Now there's nothing at all wrong with this, but if you're going to do it, you need to do it correctly.

It's little things that make these video blogs work. Looking presentable, having something interesting to say, being able to speak clearly, not going "um" before every sentence. If you have a nifty backdrop, that's cool. Having a 'theme' so regular viewers know what to expect is a plus. It doesn't take a ton of effort to do one of these, but putting in effort really does make these pop.

But there are some major things you should avoid doing.



Wow, is that guy pissed!

Here's the part where I'm to be chastised and told that she should not be judged on her appearance. Sorry, if she didn't want to be judged on her appearance SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE MADE VIDEOS AND PUT THEM ON YOUTUBE! She could just type her thoughts and feeling out and posted them like I'm doing here. But if she absolutely must make video blogs then I have a few tips to help her get rid of the pesky comments that seem to be plaguing her:

1) Make-up
2) A more flattering haircut
3) Not being a nut

And the "you'll be lucky" bit she has is a killer. This isn't pro-rasslin'. She's not going to confront these people making fun of her online in a tables, ladders and chairs match. The moment you start talking tough and making threats, you lose.

Warning: the video below contains harsh language and a moron.


Yeah. Video blog arguing. Not debating, arguing. You can be passionate about a subject. You can speak and let your emotions show. Having a tantrum doesn't accomplish anything. Hollering "OK?" after every sentence doesn't make your opinions any more forceful or give them any more weight. So, this guy winds up the big loser in his video war. Had he spoken calmly and laid out clear points instead of yelling how THE DARK KNIGHT is the greatest movie ever made, he might have gotten a little traction behind his argument and come out looking at least a little credible. Having the only adjective in your verbal arsenal be "fucking" doesn't help either.

These are just examples. There plenty of others out there and they're not hard to find. As for me, I won't be video blogging any time soon. I'm perfectly happy typing my opinions. Besides, no one wants to look at my mug as I ramble on about Batman anyhow.

But really it's my own ego tat won't let me do it, because I know I'll never be as good at it as this guy:


The Goblin abides.

Adios Mikey!

The death of Michael Jackson has rocked Duck and Cover Studios. We haven't had a site update for a while. Chris is having a hard time drawing while wearing the white glove. I've been trying to be like Mike, and injecting hard-core pain killers isn't too good for my creative process. Still it's a shame such a tragic accident happened to such a well-known person.

Or was it an accident....

That's right, boys and girls, it's time:
OUR TOP 5 MICHAEL JACKSON'S DEATH CONSPIRACY THEORIES!!!

5: He figured out he was worth more dead than alive. Faking his own death is actually the least controversial thing he's done in the past ten years.

4: He's to be cremated and all the melted plastic plastic from his surgeries will be used to make toys so little boys can play with him for a change.

3: The autopsy revealed that he and Latoya were really the same person.

2: President/Pop Star Obama had Jackson assassinated so that he could be the new "King of Pop".

1: The surviving Beatles had had enough. Michael could Say Say Say all he wanted, but it was much too late. Paul McCartney is not one to be trifled with.

Back from the mountain

The trip was light on training. Although I did take the time to break a few bricks. Yes, with my hand.

Watched television. I'm horribly disappointed that Asuka was let go from So You Think You Can Dance. I've also determined that Bully Beatdown is the most fun I've ever had watching MTV.

Saw about a dozen rabbits, a few groundhogs and a bunch of deer. All of these were in my dad's yard. The peace and quiet was disrupted briefly by dad's neighbor lowering the boom on a snake with a pistol. Sure hope the snake wasn't endangered.

Bring it on, hippies!

First off, while I'm not a fan of our Pop-Star-in-Chief I have to say I'm firmly behind his stance on fly swatting and think that little buzzing bastard had it comin'. PETA does not agree. That's right, in yet another move to utterly destroy their own creditability, the Pea-brains Embarrassing Tidewater Area have expressed their outrage over the President swatting a fly. This further cements the public perception that they are all a bunch of morons. So nice when the public gets it right. Keep in mind I say this while living about a fifteen minute drive from their national headquarters and still deny any and all claims that I had anything to do with pelting their building with raw hamburger.

So, why am I bringing this up? It's because of a chat I had with my neighbor today. He had spotted a snake near my year and wanted to give me a heads up. He had a similar problem with a rattlesnake which had decided to park itself on his porch. Said snake met a grizzly demise via a large spade. No problem, except his son in law works for animal control and told him he could get in trouble for this.

That rattlesnake was an endangered species.

ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME? You want to see a rattlesnake endangered? Have him slither his scaly ass into my yard! It's a rattlesnake. How on earth can them being endangered be seen as being a bad thing? Have you ever met anyone who has said "You know, the world really needs more rattlesnakes"? No, you haven't.

It used to be so simple. I grew up in snake country. We had rattlers, copperheads, moccasins, cottonmouths and every so often a coral snake or two. And the rules of engagement were simple: see the snake, kill the snake. We achieved this in a variety of manners: garden hoes, shovels, yawn darts, firearms, weed-whackers and once with an acid loaded shrapnel bomb. Our biggest kill was a six foot long moccasin. The biggest kill in my old stompin' ground was a cottonmouth my buddy took out workin' pest control, twelve feet long. That's a lot of snake. And the other wildlife benefited from our efforts. Had a copperhead try to get Jason, but he sliced it in half with the weed-whacker. The frog it had recently consumed made it's escape, and is officially the luckiest amphibian I've even encountered.

The snakes were the reason we had outdoor cats. The cats would kill the moles and field mice near the house. Those are what the snakes ate, and since there was no food near the house, they had little reason to come around. Sure our moms would freak out when the cats would leave the dead vermin on our doorsteps as tribute and proof of them pulling they're weight in the household. We understood and applauded they're efforts. It was a bit much when Winston the Cat decapitated a rabbit and left it on the doorstep, but we overlooked this since he was handy in the killing department and in scaring the crap out of The Scorer by suddenly appearing in the window when we were drunk and watching X-Files.

Snakes have been an unpleasant part of my existence since childhood. So, screw 'em. I'm with Doctor Jones on this one.

Lost to Chaos: the F.A.Q.

What is this?

This is a NIGHT LIFE story that will be told on Twitter. It will mainly prose driven with supplemental artwork by Kat Hogan. It will begin July 18, 2009 and conclude August 9th, the weekend of the Chicago Comic-Com. The story will take place in pseudo-real time. It will be a mystery story with some horror elements.

What is "pseudo-real time"?

The story will follow NIGHT LIFE cast member Phil Escobar and the Twitter is set up to be his account. Readers will be getting updates as to what Phil is doing as he investigates the mystery. When Phil finds clues, he will post them. I will not be making updates between midnight and seven AM EST. I know some people have Twitter set up so that new 'tweets' appear as text messages on their phones. No one likes a text message at three in the morning.

I don't have Twitter. How do I read this?

Twitter is completely free and pretty painless to set up. You can create an account and set it up to follow the story at "twitter.com/nightlifephil". Once it's over it's a simple matter of deactivating the account. You don't even have to post anything on the account. Once you log in any updates made will appear.

How would this story be rated?

I'd say PG-13. I'm not planning on using a lot of profanity, but it is a police mystery and some of the imagery won't be for children. Basically, if you're OK watching shows like CSI, you're fine.

Why should I follow this?

This is summer reading for people who don't really like summer reading. The updates will be short and to the point, making it easy for readers to keep up with the story.

Do I have to read the webcomic or any of the short stories?

Absolutely not, but it would be nice if you did. Phil Escobar is currently appearing in the webcomic so you can see him a bit before the event. This story is completely self contained, but it's also in the NIGHT LIFE continuity.

The story is wrapping up the weekend of the Chicago Comic-con. Coincidence?

I think not! Chris Johnson and I will be in the Artist's Alley at the convention. If you find us and have the correct solution to the mystery I'll have some prizes while they last.

Why on Earth are you doing this?

Because it just might turn out really freakin' cool. That's plenty of reason.

Under siege!

Got a little slip of paper slipped into the handle of my screen door this week. It was yellow, so I knew to be warned. It let me know that crime is on the rise in my neighborhood. There is only one course of action:

NWA GO GO GO!!!!!

That's right, it's time for the NWA (Neighborhood Watch Association) to kick some ass and take some names. We are planning on patrolling our beloved streets to help take a bite out of crime. As you read this we are getting a golf cart to help facilitate this. This way we don't have to walk. Walking sucks. Also it will be pretty cool to have a golf cart with a gun turret.

John's breaking out the AR-15 and his night vision goggles. Darren's gonna let us use his German Shepherd. The little bastards already think twice about coming onto our court. Last time any of them tried a break in he ended up zip tied in John's garage with a case of the soggy trousers.

This isn't an excuse to beat up teenagers. Honest.

My dance pick

So You Think You Can Dance is down to their top 20 and we're in the stage where the viewers vote. All the performances last night were incredible. This competition is completely up for grabs. No one stands out because every competitor is absolutely amazing.

Phil will do well because he already has a following.

My pick is Evan, the Broadway dancer.

Last year I was able to pick the winner, Joshua, during the tryout phase. Let's see how I do this time.