The She Shed

Victor's marriage with Sheryl had been what many would consider typical.  They had a nice house in the suburbs.  They both worked.  Their marriage had it's share of ups and downs as all marriages do.  There were things he didn't notice at first.  Things he thought was normal.  

He saw less of the his friends over the years.  The guys he had known since high school who he always enjoyed grabbing a beer with.  Victor was not sure when those get togethers stopped.  He noticed that his supply of beer was not getting replenished unless he bought it himself.  He did not drink often, but did enjoy a cold beer when watching football or after a long day of work.  There always seemed to be a good stock of wine around though.  Sheryl had no qualms about offering him a glass.  Drinking wine while watching football did not feel right.  It did feel right when watching reality television with Sheryl.  Victor was not sure when the Bachelor took presidence over the Steelers. 

Victor would work in the yard to pass the time.  Getting outside was a nice escape.  Victor kept his tools and lawn equipment meticulously placed in the shed in the back yard.  Everything easy to find and ready to be used.  Of course, he did not all the tools and equipment all the time.  It took a while to notice things were missing.  Sheryl claimed to not know anything about it.  When the lawnmower was suddenly relocated to the garage and a little coffee table and chair replaced it in the shed Victor realized he had lost that space.

Victor's items, the ones he could still find, ended up in the garage.  Much of it boxed up.  The house had acquired more items that were either scented or not to be touched.  Victor spent his days at work, and would promptly return home to try to touch as little as possible while Sheryl sipped wine and watched America's Got Talent.  He had to return home quickly or Sheryl would call his cell phone and ask him why he was not home.  Victor loathed traffic as even a five minute delay would trigger a call.

He found himself going to bed earlier.  He felt tired all the time.  After a robust dinner of salad that Sheryl had prepared for them because it was healthier Victor turned in early.  His sleep was often troubled, but leaving the bed in the middle of the night might make Sheryl ask him why he was not comfortable sharing a bed with her.

It was that restless sleep that led Victor to discover Sheryl's absense in the dead of night.  He rose up to look for her and that led him to peer out of the window and see the light coming from the shed.  He saw Sheryl sitting down there alone.  He did not ask her about it the next morning.  

The following night was the same.  He became senstive to her slipping from the bed nightly.  Every night it was the same.  Every night she would go down to the shed.  Her shed.  Victor would be back in bed by the time she returned.  He noticed a faint scent on her on her returns.  The faint smell of pumpkin spice.

Victor felt himself becoming more sluggish and tired as this went on.  He figured it was the interrupted sleep as he could not help but get up after Sheryl went out back to watch her.  Every night, the same thing.  

The shed had been completely redecorated.  It only ressembled his old shed in structure.  Now it was the centerpiece of the back yard.  Victor could not help but feel his stomach sink whenever he was near it.  After seeing himself in the mirror and seeing the sunken man looking back at him, he knew he had to do something.  He was waiting away.

Victor investigated the shed when Sheryl was having brunch with her friends on Saturday morning.  It took everything he could muster to step inside of it.  The scent of spices and herbs was overpowering.  He stumbled and his foot shifted the rug on the floor.  That's when he saw them.

The sigils.  The strange arcane symbols.  They looked like they were almost pulsating.  He knew then.  He was wasting away as Sheryl was becoming more vibrant and happy.  

He had to destroy it.  It was either the shed or him.  He knew Sheryl could be home at any time.  Vicotr rushed to get some gasoline from the garage which he used to store in the shed for his lawnmower.  He doused the inside and lit it.  He had hoped it would be completely destroyed by the time Sheryl returned.  He was not so lucky.


It was not long before the shed was rebuilt.  It was nearly identical to as it was before.  Victor was defeated.  He knew he was doomed.  He walked the small dog Sheryl had bought herself to comfort her with the burning of the shed.  He walked the neighborhood and looked at the yards.  It started out as only a few at first but the number grew.  More sheds.  Victor noticed more men walking small skittish dogs as well.  They were all walking, hunched over, drained.  Victor would meet the gaze of their hollow eyes.  He was desperate to try to connect with any of them, to try to figure out how to stop this.

It never happened.  Sheryl would not like it.

Captain Marvel: review

CAPTAIN MARVEL hit theaters last week, and I finally made it to the theater to see it.  The theater was not packed, but there were plenty of people there.  I've heard claims of some showings being completely empty, but with all the things being said about this film, everything has to be taken with a grain of salt.  So, let's get with it.

I have to start with the Stan Lee tribute at the start of the film.  It was perfect.  Just as his cameo was in the movie itself.  His appearance got a reaction from the audience as one would expect from people seeing pictures of a dear, departed grandparent.  And yes, I did choke up a little.

As for the movie itself, it was alright.  I wouldn't put it in the dead bottom of my list for MCU movies.  It wasn't unwatchable, but it was also took a bit for me to stay in it and go along for the ride.

My problem was Carol.  I do understand that this is a character that is being told and trained to keep her feelings in check.  Unfortunately, Larson's portrayal came off really wooden.  I cared about the plot, but really was not sold on the character in the film.  This is a bummer because I like Carol Danvers in the comics.  There was a pretty big overhaul concerning her origin story, but it works well.  A lot of it was that I never felt the character was in any real danger.  She was really powerful, and then went on to be super-duper powerful.  Also, we never really get much emotion from her when memories come back, and she learns a bit more about her past.

As for the nitty gritty of the film, the story is pretty solid.  Nothing ground-breaking, but had enough intrigue to keep me from zoning out.  Some of the humor fell really flat and came off as awkward when you have aliens using phrases that one would expect from a human, not a creature from another planet.  The fight scenes boasted plenty of action, but unfortunately much of it was hard to follow.

I did like the soundtrack.  I came of age in the 90s, so much of it was right in my wheelhouse.  The bit exception was the use of No Doubt's "Just A Girl" in one of the big fight scenes.  It took all the potential edge off the fight, and I suppose they were going for campy, maybe.  It was really cringe-inducing though.

I guess I should address the cat.  Everyone loves the cat.  The cat is cute.  My kids love the cat.

Where the hell did the cat come from?

I'm dead serious.  It's an alien just wandering around Project Pegasus with NO EXPLANATION WHATSOEVER!!!

And how did little Monica figure out how that change the color of Carol's uniform so quickly and intuitively?

I'm finding that the more I think about the movie, the more annoyed I get.  So, I'm just going to let this one rest, and wait for AVENGERS: ENDGAME.  I could have done that anyways as this movie does not tell me anything that I really need to know going into the next film aside from Carol Danvers is Captain Marvel and she's super powerful.  That's literally all you need to know.

It wasn't terrible, but I have no desire to see it again.

Captain Marvel Incoming

Marvel's latest offering is heading out way, and unfortunately there's controversy around it.  I've been busy and unfortunately by the time said controversy came onto my radar, both camps had dug in and gone full retard making up all sorts of weird stuff.  It boils down to the lead actress, Brie Larson, having some concerns about things possibly not being inclusive enough.  Some study was brought up.  A few things probably could have been worded clearer, but unfortunately that's more than enough for battle lines to be drawn.  Larson has clarified things, and I was going to see it anyhow, but it did kinda damper my excitement for the film.  Early trailers were kinda lackluster.  Too much time was spent by the press focusing on the feminism aspects.  Not enough was spent trying to get everyone excited.  Marvel has recently put out a lot of great behind the scenes stuff that has really caught my eye in a good way.

It is way too easy to get caught up in the pointless bickering, and I was guilty to buying into the articles and headlines that has a vested interest in keeping the fight going for the sake of views.  The main concern I have is that any legitimate criticisms that may arise from the film will result in the person voicing said criticism as "sexist".  I've had a few people online claim my dislike for BLACK PANTHER is the result of some sort of weird latent racism on my part.  This is ridiculous, of course, and a symptom of the current culture of "everyone who doesn't agree with me must have some sort of terrible character flaw".  With the movie still yet to be released however, we'll have to wait to see how it turns out.

There are a couple of issues that I have seen brought up online that I do want to address: "Carol Danvers is a c-list character" and "Captain marvel is a white guy".

Captain Marvel is indeed a white guy... if you're talking about the DC Universe.  Actually, I'm pretty sure that they are just referring to him as "Shazam" now to avoid confusion.  In the Marvel Universe, Captain Marvel hasn't been a white guy for decades.  The character was killed off about 40 years ago.  When I was a kid reading comics, Captain Marvel was Monica Rambeau, a black woman and really cool.  She was an Avenger, part of the SECRET WARS event back in the 80s.  The character is still very active and now known as "Spectrum", and still very cool.  Carol Danvers took up the title a few years ago and currently uses it.  So, it makes sense that the current version of the character is what will be featured on screen. We're still hoping beyond hope that people may watch a superhero movie and then actually buy a comic book.  One day, it may happen!

Now let's address the "c-list" bit.  This seems to be stemming from people trying to shoehorn Captain Marvel in being Marvel's answer to Wonder Woman.  Wonder Woman is a trinity character.  She is the direct representation of one of the three key aspects of the superhero genre in the DCU.  In the Marvel Universe, that particular aspect (science fiction) is represented by Ironman, and I don't think anyone is going to be replacing him any time soon.

So, Carol isn't a trinity character, but "c-list"?  No.  This is a character that has been around for decades.  My first exposure to her was in the pages of THE AVENGERS.  It was right around #200, but fortunately not that particular issue because holy crap how did that weird story make it past editorial?  Seriously, I'm old and jaded, but I even I read that thing and said "This thing is problematic".  She was still Ms. Marvel at the time, but not for long because a few years after I discovered her character, the battle with Rogue happened, and Rogue stole her powers.  This was a huge deal, because Carol spent years without her powers.  We've seen those stories where a character loses their powers only to get them back a few issues later.  This went on for years.

She was still active though.  Years later, Carol received a new power set and became Binary, and went off to have awesome adventures in space.  She has since regained her old power set, as well as the Binary power set.  She was known as "Warbird" for a while and recently took the title of Captain Marvel.  She's currently a member of the Avengers and head of Earth's defenses against alien threats.  So, she's a big deal.

This brings us to the problem: this character is at her best in a group dynamic.  Her solo titles have struggled a bit.  Meanwhile, her tenures in THE AVENGERS, THE ULTIMATES, and GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY have always been really cool.  This isn't a bad thing.  Some characters just work better under those conditions.  In this regard, she's top notch and definitely an asset for writers to use to play off of other characters, and great for beating the crap out of baddies and blowing stuff up in dramatic fashion. 

So why feature her in a solo film?   

With the Thanos saga winding down in the films, the MCU is going to need a new direction to explore.  This film may give a few clues as to what's to come with more of the Kree explored and the introduction of the Skrulls.  Also consider, Ant-Man is also in the group of best on a team, and the movies of that character were both really great.  Carol's also a character that's fully realized and while she started in relation to Marvel's original Captain Marvel, she's moved up to make the title her own.  There is a market wanting woman led superhero films.  Many fans have really wanted a Black Widow film (I'm definitely among them), but with the character's popularity, Marvel seems to be taking their time wanting to really get it right.

Ultimately, we hoping that its a good movie.  I've been keeping my expectations low in hopes of being really pleasantly surprised.  We'll see soon when it hits the theaters.