Batman and Nathan Fillion pwn Charlie Sheen

It is the Tango of DEATH! Its Friday, March 11, 2011, I still can't dance, and this is The Side. I've been talking a bit about the Wisconsin protesters. The bill they were protesting limiting the collective bargaining rights of public sector unions got passed despite a lot of idiocy. There was a major brouhaha and a lot of morons were pissed. Michael Moore called for students to do a walk out, which of course would mean even less work for the teachers would actually cared enough about their jobs and students to keep doing their jobs.

So what will this all mean?

These teachers and other union workers will continue getting the same pay they were getting before. They'll still have their pensions. They'll still have their benefits. That is if they still have jobs, because I know I wouldn't if I fucked off for a couple weeks. But they are still union workers, so they probably can't be fired.

They all yelled as they protested "This is what Democracy looks like!" Once they stormed the capitol building in Madison. Makes me glad we're a Representative Republic. Anyone care to imagine what the news coverage would be like if it were the Tea Party pulling this nonsense?

Ah well, on to happier things.

FILLION IS BETTER THAN SHEEN: THE TOP 10!!!

Sure, Charlie Sheen is winning, but there's someone who is winning even more and without even trying. That is of course the greatest living dude and one ruggedly handsome sum'bitch: Nathan Fillion! Why is he winning more than the tiger blood fueled stud of studs? Glad ya asked!

10: My kids' top three favorite superheroes? Ironman, Batman, and Captain Hammer.

9: Nobody is trying to help Charlie Sheen buy the rights for his old TV show.

8: When the police approach Nathan Fillion its either to get his autograph, or ask him to help fight crime.

7: While Charlie Sheen is praying for the possibility of a MAJOR LEAGUE sequel, everyone else is praying for a SERENITY sequel.

6: Charlie Sheen may have a million more Twitter followers than Nathan Fillion, but none of Nathan Fillion's followers are just there waiting for him to self destruct.

5: Charlie Sheen's co-star: Jon Cryer. Nathan Fillion's co-star: Stana Katic. No contest. Sorry Jon.

4: When a girl fantasizes about Nathan Fillion when in bed with her fella that's perfectly acceptable. When a girl fantasizes about Charlie Sheen while in bed with her fella he may catch something he can't wash off.

3: The last time anyone called Charlie Sheen "Captain" he had to pay her for it, and he probably didn't remember the next morning.

2: Charlie Sheen may have Adonis DNA, but Adonis has Nathan Fillion DNA.

And the top reason why Nathan Fillion is more winning than Charlie Sheen...

1: CBS just signed Nathan Fillion to star in their new show "2 3/4 Dudes". The three quarters is Nathan Fillion's penis.

COMICS!!

If you didn't think I was going to start off with BATMAN INCORPORATED #3 this week, you're obviously new here, so welcome aboard. Grant Morrison and Yanick Paquette take the action to Argentina this time for a team-up with El Gaucho. Bruce is hoping to get his old friend to join his worldwide organization, and teams up with him on a case. What really knocks my socks off is that in the last storyline we had a distinctive Japanese feel to things as Batman and Catwoman went to Japan. This time around we have the same creative team giving us a story with all the fiery heat I would expect in a "Scorpion Tango". We see a lot of parallels between Batman and El Gaucho and get just a glimpse of El Gaucho's life, and its enough to make me want to see a series about him. The highlight was Bruce's tango with Tristessa. Gorgeously drawn. I'm digging this grown up Bruce Wayne. He's not the preptime bad ass of fanboydom. This guy is a freakin' stud.

The batiness doesn't stop there. BATMAN AND ROBIN #21 continue Dick and Damian's case with a weird religious themed murderer. The White Knight is revealed and this new addition to the Batman rogues gallery is just creepy. He's methodical in picking his targets as well as in how he leaves his victims. This is a great storyline, which I expected of Tomasi. He's got the character chemistry down and has given us a case that we can sink our teeth into. Top notch stuff.

Was that all the Bat-stuff this week? Not a chance! BATGIRL #19 pits Steph against new foe, Slipstream. This story is actually a follow up to the events of the "Death of Oracle" storyline and ties in nicely to the Batman Incorporated brand. There's a bit of a new status quo emerging, with Steph getting online backup more from Proxy. Firewall also gets a major upgrade. This is a solid little story with Steph not only trying to track down and take down the new high speed thief, but also dealing with her fanboy Clance, AKA the new Grey Ghost. I really don't like Clancy, but that's on me as the old "Grey Ghost" episode of BATMAN: THE ANIMATED SERIES is one of my favorite episodes. Its nice to see the Grey Ghost in the DCU, but I'm a little ticked he's such a goof. Still, its another great issue from this really fun series.

Oh hey, about that whole "Death of Oracle" thingie, BIRDS OF PREY #10 wraps up that storyline. Gail Simone knocks it straight out of the park. I just wish that the series would get a solid artist. Since the departure of the overly exploitative Ed Benes, the art has been serviceable, but not terribly exciting. Fortunately Simone keeps our attention with some of the best writing in comics. This issue sets up the new status quo that I mentioned in Batgirl with the Birds taking on the Calculator and his hired thugs after the seeming death of Barbara Gordon. This story is a nice little reminder that these ladies aren't to be trifled with, ever. Black Canary and Huntress are utter forces of nature.

Rounding out my reads this week is ZATANNA #10 which isn't a bat-book, but is written by Paul Dini, so it still sorta counts right? This book is a bit of a sleeper. The Missus loves this title. We've seen Zatanna for years playing off the Justice League and aiding other heroes when magic cases pop up. This series gives us a better idea of Zee's heritage and the baggage that comes with it. This issue is very creepy in often a very subtle way. Is the man transformed into a puppet by Zatara really innocent? Zee takes him to her family's ancestrial home to find the answers. Its a big mistake, but one that is gorgeously illustrated by Chiff Chiang.

MUSIC!!

What was hilarious was this song hit right after "Learn to Fly" and bunch of people thought the Foo Fighters were just a nice little pop band. Suckers.



That's it for today. Sunday may be a tad light as there's two little girls who are turning four and there's a Tinkerbell themed party that I shall be smack in the middle of. Pray for me.

You Win, You Winning Winner!!

It's Sunday, March 6, 2011, duh, and this is The Side. I've been working every day this week and am pretty tire, and in the little amount of time I do have to relax, I'm watching some TV, and read a little. Yeah, it seem Charlie Sheen is everywhere, but I have found some time to watch some other things.

I watched "Harry's Law". If you ever want to feel like America is the worst country ever and Americans are just a horrid mob of moron, self-centered monsters, go watch this show. Sure its got clever dialogue and interesting characters, but at its heart its hardcore liberal, America bashing. That said, to the producers and writers of that show: you're a bunch of assholes and can go collectively fuck yourselves.

And I got to read that Michael "Why yes I would like gravy with that" Moore has joined the Wisconsin Union protesters in a stand against the "wealthy elite". I guess nobody told that opportunistic, money-grubbing asshole that these are public unions and they're really making a stand against tax payers. I'm sure he'll figure out some way to work this into whatever crap propaganda flick he's working on. He's probably just there for the cheese.

But with all that stuff pissing me off, there's still one ray of sunlight. And now, on with the show.

CRAZY TIME!!!

That's right. The bandwagon is rolling, and I'm jumping on. Its so wildly entertaining. Every interview has a dozen new and glorious soundbites. He's been on a shit-ton of drugs. Is living with two girls, one of which is a porn star. His kids just got taken away. Its a complete trainwreck and its the most popular show out.

And I do indeed regret my "Charlie Sheen was here" tattoo.

Dude is freaking everywhere! He says, he's "Winning" and right now, he's absolutely correct. Yes, we watch him and read about him and everyday it seems like there's some new wrinkle coming out. I've talked about him with my friends and our consensus is that he'll likely not live out the year. However, if there was ever a case of going out in a blaze of glory, then this is it.

@ForrestGriffin It's official Charlie Sheen would kill chuck Norris. Hell Charlie is the new Chuck.

However, it does make me wonder. He's passed a drug test and says he's open to taking one any time. He's invited anyone who has any questions about what goes on in his house in. He's posted videos. So now I'm curious. Typically, you have a celebrity go through stuff like this and they go straight into rehab, then they come out months later and do the obligatory interviews where they're apologetic for their previous behavior, and either they're forgiven by the public or not. Then they pop up on show TV show or worse a reality TV show.

Sheen has taken another route all together. The media is thrown off because he hasn't gone into rehab. They're doing the interviews, and he's not apologetic. In fact it seems he's batshit crazy.



Sheen has surpassed the realm of reality TV and moved onto reality media. He got on Twitter and conquered it in about a day. He's got interviewers scrambling trying to figure out what he's talking about and he's obviously just screwing with them. What if he is clean? What if he's playing off his antics and turned "Crazy Charlie Sheen" into a role. He's already plotting on merchandising the hell out of this. The TV show he's been on for years is getting canceled, and maybe that's part of the plot. He wanted out, and now he's out. Now he's walking a highwire. His only option to pull this off is to stay clean and maintain the role.

Its like Robert Downey Junior without the jail time.

Sheen has options. He can become a Downey who has gone down the road of vice, suffered for it, and refocused himself into incredible success. He can become a Gary Busey who is out of his mind and a joke preparing to be gawked at on TV. He can become a corpse. One slip and it all comes unraveled, and he's heaped an incredible amount of pressure on himself by thrusting himself in the media spotlight.

And I hope he pulls it off. I hope he has gotten himself completely under control, and is enjoying his life clean and sober. I hope he keeps this role away from his kids and separates the crazy part from the part that has to be a good father. I'd like to see him use the spectacle that he's made made himself do some good like in his offer to go to Haiti with Sean Penn to do some charitable work.

In all likelihood, this train is going to fly off the tracks sooner rather than later.

MUSIC!!!

Once I figured on writing about Charlie Sheen the song choice was obvious.



OK, its off to work for me. I'll see y'all Wednesday.