Bad nerd!

Hello, my name is Marty, and I am a bad nerd.

This not a good time to be a bad nerd.  There's all these nerdy things all about us in various media.  I have many nerd friends (people I only know on the internet still count as friends!), and they're all very excited.  I can't go on much of any social media without seeing something about recent nerd movies/TV shows/ whatever or one of the same coming out this year.

And I just don't care.

And this is troubling to me!  I'm not trying to be Hipster Nozz over here!  I wish I was excited about all these things that're coming out!  Aside from the Marvel Netflix stuff and some of the comics I read nothing is really getting me stoked.  Its really depressing.  Not totally terrible of course.  I still have The Walking Dead comic, and a lot of the Marvel stuff since the re-launch has been a lot of fun.

However, much of what a lot of people seem to be excited about doesn't appeal to me.  And its weird in that much of it has gotten so mainstream that the people I know who aren't really part of the "nerdcore" see it, like it, and think of me.  "Marty must be really excited by all of this!"

And I'm not.  Let's review my bad nerd credentials.

* I hate the new STAR WARS  movie.  I really do.  Its not a bad movie.  Its very well done.  I wasn't terribly excited about going to see it.  The Missus wanted to check it out, so we went.  If you haven't seen it yet I'm going to dance around a spoiler as best I can.

If a fictional character that I have loved since childhood, one that was the epitome of cool for me as a kid, and my favorite thing in that entire fictional universe, gets horribly murdered in a film, I'M NOT GOING TO LIKE THAT FILM!!!  That's the only thing I think of in regards to that movie.  All the other stuff has just become a grey haze to me because of that one part.  I'm seriously to the point where I want nothing to do with STAR WARS because of that one thing.

There's no logic behind it.  Its purely, 100% emotionalism.  The last thing that really had me vested in the franchise got bumped off, and with that I've out grown STAR WARS.

* I hate THE DARK KNIGHT.  This is not news to those who have followed me for a while.  The movie that a lot of people hail as the most amazing Batman movie ever, I rank it right down with BATMAN AND ROBIN.  It was a great Joker movie, but made Batman out to be a two-fisted moron with Morgan freeman there to do all the heavy thinking for him.  I found it just hard to watch.

And unfortunately it started a trend with Warner brothers to which ever Superman got very grim and gritty.  MAN OF STEEL  looked like something I needed to keep my children away from, and like the brilliant writer Greg Rucka put it "Any Superman movie that you can't take your kids to isn't a good Superman movie."

So, no I'm not excited at all for the SUPERMAN VS BATMAN movie.  Ben Affleck does look like he'll make a great Batman, but I have no interest in a movie which Martha Kent tells Clark he doesn't owe the world a thing.  In these movies, Ma and Pa Kent are the worst parents ever.  And honestly, I don't feel like going to a movie to watch two superheroes I like beat each other up.  Go fight a villain.  You've both got plenty of them.

Which brings us to...

* CIVIL WAR.  Damn it all anyways.  Why?  Why on earth do people praise that comic?  Its terribly written.  The artwork is really nice, but the book portrays Captain America as being a freaking nut and not much better than the Punisher.  And ever since then Ironman has been a almost a villain with no one really trusting him.  Now, we've had a reboot and Ironman is really awesome again!  But now there's going to be another CIVIL WAR comic which pits Ironman against Captain Marvel.  Yes, the Captain Marvel that's going to be getting her own movie in a couple years.  We couldn't go six months since SECRET WAR in which everyone got along and fought bad guys?

Oh and the movie?

OK, let's take two characters that we've been made to like and put them against each other.  And that last scene with Cap and Bucky being the crap out of Ironman was disturbing.  They looked like a couple of bullies.  This may well be the first movie that Marvel studios puts out that I full on avoid.

* Speaking of Marvel movies: screw DEADPOOL.  I hate that character.  I'm annoyed by his rabid fandom.  I'm absolutely stunned that a movie actually got off the ground and fully expect this thing to flop, because I think more people will just illegally download from somewhere instead of shelling out the bucks to go see it.

* SUICIDE SQUAD.  Yeah, concerning that: I've taken all of my f--ks and put them in a time capsule which is not to be unearthed until well after I'm dead because i won't be giving any of them.


Fortunately there's still so good nerdy TV for me to enjoy.  I really wish LEGENDS OF TOMORROW was going to be on on a night that I won't get home until after its over, but those are the breaks.

There's all these things out there that people are going to be buzzing about.  It'll likely come up at shows when I'm trying to sell my comic, and I'll smile uncomfortably and make some excuse about not finding time to go see it, but I'll catch it of DVD, and hey, let's talk about my book.

Its very frustrating.  I want to enjoy these things, but its just all so wrong to me.  I'm having people who didn't start out nearly as nerdy as me knowing a lot more about some of this stuff than I do.  I've gotten pretty good at smiling and shrugging my shoulders over it.

I will say this, its kinda tough when the stuff everyone's so excited about bums you out.

I've become that guy?

I was gone for a while, but I'm back now.  Spent Thanksgiving up on the mountain.  Did some training.  Worked on issue 2 of A-DAY PLUS.  Ate some turkey.  Finally saw BIG HERO 6.  Dealt with one of the loinspawn getting sick.  I stayed pretty unplugged from things as I was sick of hearing about Ferguson and people just being completely stupid about it, especially the pricks in the media fanning the flames for ratings.

Upon returning, I discover that there a trailer for the impending STAR WARS movie that's been put forth.  There people that are really excited.  There's people who are saying things about a lightsaber.  Some folks seem concerned about a black Stormtrooper, and I think the main cause for concern is that they can't refer to him as an "African-American Stormtrooper" as Africa did not exist long ago in a galaxy far, far away, and their little PC brains are melting over it.

I haven't watched the trailer.  I thought about watching the trailer.  I like STAR WARS.  I've seen all the movies in the theaters.  I remember back when I had cable and sometimes USA would run the trilogy on a Sunday afternoon, and upon discovering this that's pretty much the whole afternoon right there.  Seriously, the only decision to be made after that is proper snack choices.  So, I should be excited about this new trailer, right?

I just can't do it.

I can't muster up any more excitement for anything STAR WARS anymore.  I had some excitement for the prequels being released.  For my excitement I was given Jar Jar Binks and some other miserable stuff.  Sure, there were a few high points.  Darth Maul was cool.  Yoda kicking ass was awesome.  And that third movie had... had... um... OK, the third one really sucked.

I really don't want to be that old codger who just sticks with the old movies that he loves and scoffs at the new ones, but I just can't muster up a single fuck to give about this new movie.

Have I become a bad nerd?

Gail Simone battles George Lucus with Jetpacks!

Its Friday, October 6, 2010, my hair is a mess, and this is the Side.

First off, 24 Hour Comic Day was last weekend. That's when creators produce 24 pages of comic in as many hours. Our good friend, loyal supporter, and all-around awesome gal Kat Hogan participated. Her project can be seen here. Go there. Enjoy. Don't worry, I'll wait.

Done?

OK, let's go.

IT'S HEADED RIGHT FOR US!!!

George Lucus announced last week that he has no more ideas in his head at all but still wants your monies. Translation: he's releasing the STAR WARS movies in theaters in 3D. This of course is great news for the dozen or so people who think 3D is awesome and this announcement makes their lives complete. The rest of the population rolled our eyes and asked "Really?"

Because its not like George hasn't messed with the franchise enough. Sure he created it, and the orginal films are awesome. Then he turned around and released the movies and updated some of the special effects. Alright, we're OK with that as long as everyone is clear that Han shot first. After that off course came the prequels, which really weren't that good at all, but we still watched them because we're a bunch of lemming nerds. We dealt with it though because "Phantom Menace" had Darth Maul, and "Send in the Clones" had Yoda kicking ass, and "Revenge of the Sith" had... had...

OK, "Revenge of the Sith" completely sucked.

But soon you'll be able to see it suck in 3D!

They're planning on rolling out "Phantom Menace" in 2012 as the Mayans predicted.

Probably by that time everyone will be completely fed up with 3D and just sit home and watch their pirated DVDs of the original trilogy. Y'know, I'm against stealing content, I really am, BUT I've watched the movies, I've watched the releases, my parents bought me a ton of the toys when i was a kid. I even got the Boba Fett action figure in the mail before "Empire Strikes Back" came out and nobody knew who this guy was or what he did, but HOT DAMN did he look cool! And I'm definitely anti-entitlement, however, for all the hard earned money that I and my parents have spent on STAR WARS I should be able to watch the version I want on the format I want.

So, I want a DVD without Hayden freaking Christianson photoshopped into the final scene of "Jedi".

That's not too much to ask.

So Mister Lucus, with all due respect, F'N QUIT IT!!! Quit screwing with the movies I love. Do something new or just enjoy retirement.

BATTLEGROUND: TEH INTARWUB!!

Cyber-bullying seems to be on the rise. This is when someone picks on someone else online. This is made much easier by social networking sites, but its absolutely not their faults. They do what they can to crack down on these sorts of things. Parents are very worried, but don't seem to be worried enough to keep their kids offline.

NEWSFLASH: There's more to the internet than Facebook.

There are a lot of websites that are very well moderated geared towards young people. And you create your own user name so unless you tell people who you really are, then they won't know. When you put yourself out there online, whether you are a child or an adult, you put a target on yourself. That target is not only for criminals and weirdos, but for anyone who doesn't like you. So if you're going to go online, you either need to know how to keep your online privacy secure, or grow a really thick skin.

And then there's the claim of this won't stop what people say behind your back. Look, this is nothing new. Waaaaaaaay, back when I was in school before such inventions as the internet existed people would still say things behind other peoples back. I'm pretty damn sure Thomas Edison created the telephone just so he could talk shit about people behind their backs, because tapping out how stupid someone is in morse code is a pain in the ass. And certainly people talked about me behind my back. I was a skinny kid with braces who read a ton comic books and made great grades. No one lifted a finger against me and no one could say anything that I hadn't heard a million times before. Being able to throw a spiral, hit a softball a country mile, and people not being sure whether or not I was a black belt in Karate didn't hurt either.

Bottom line: there are people on and offline who suck and will target anyone if they think they can get away with it to make themselves fell better. You can't hide from them forever and you mommy won't always be around to deal with them. Learn to deal. Either ignore it, report it, or get ready to get your hands dirty.

COMIC SPECULATION!!

I really don't spend a lot of time on Twitter but when i do things just jump out at me. Like this from Gail Simone for example:

Even people who haven't been reading BOP are gonna want to pick up the DEATH OF ORACLE storyline. Just saying.

Now this may cause some people to worry quite a bit as oracle is a very beloved character, however I can tell you not to worry as my sources have ferreted out the truth. I say this because my sources are actual ferrets.

Oracle will not actually be dying because Oracle can never die. Instead Barbara Gordon will be sent back in time to sit in an ancient clock tower for a while. In the meantime the "Battle for the Comp" mini-series written and illustrated by Ed Benes will be launch to determine who will be the new Oracle. The new oracle will be Wendy Harris and working along side her as the new Proxy will be the daughter Barbara Gordon never knew she had, but it'll make for an interesting dynamic since the younger Gordon was raised Mark Zuckerburg and is evil, sorta.

A mysterious force will begin bouncing Barbara through history where she'll found Microsoft, invent the telegraph, as well as develop the Dewey Decimal System.

This is going to be great!

MOVIE SPECULATION!!

They've decided on a director for the upcoming Superman movie: Zack Snyder. Nolan and Goyer are still producing and writing the project. I'm still not sure about this project. On Nolan's end, I loved BATMAN BEGINS but hated THE DARK KNIGHT. With Snyder I loved 300 and that's the only movie of his I have to go on. I did not see WATCHMEN because I did not particularly enjoy the comic and had no urge to go see the a movie based on a comic that I didn't enjoy. Still I've seen some clips of it.

I don't know how well Snyder's stylized approach will work with the property, but I've got a bit of confidence that he'll do something pleasing. Its Nolan I'm worried about. Nothing this guy has made gives me a feeling that he'd be a good fit helming the Superman project. All of his movies that I've seen are visually appealing, but are pretty dark affairs. That's not the sensibility I'm comfortable with when looking at a character like Superman. Of course he could really surprise me and make a great and inspiring piece.

So, we've got another time will tell situation. I'm really hoping to be pleasantly surprised.

TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!!

A company is getting closer to making a commercial jetpack. This is good because the one I've been building from the kit I order from the back of that old AVENGERS comic isn't looking to promising. Really this thing isn't a "jetpack" so much as an "enginepack", however "jetpack" sounds much much cooler.

Of course you'll probably need a license for the thing and have to file flight plans to use it, oh, and there's of course the fact that most of use will never be able to afford it. Kinda takes the shiny off a little bit.

I'll probably never be in a position to be able to afford on of those things. Still, if I'm sitting around being old and crotchety, waving my cane at the neighborhood kids and telling them to stay the hell off my lawn, and I look up to randomly see someone someone streaking across the sky with their jetpack...

Bah. I'll probably be all bitter and pissed off that I didn't have one too.

Odds are this won't get too far with the public. There's probably be some outcry that its not environmentally friendly because *GASP* is runs on gasoline. Freaking hippies expect us the fly using fairy dust, and that's not going to happen because the same hippies will get torqued off because we'd be exploiting the fairies' natural resources.

MUSIC!!

I'm feeling like some punk this week. And not that crap that they try to pass off as punk nowadays on the radio.



Wow, that was a lot of stuff. Alrighty, I'll see y'all on Friday. I'm going to go build a fence now.

Well, it would be more fun than the prequels.

The old and crouchity top ten.

In honor of Disney Pixar's UP I've slapped together a new top ten list for my favorite old dudes. Enjoy!

10: Alan Quartermain. Played by Sean Connery in the LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMAN movie. Got to love anybody highly annoyed with having to put on his glasses before shooting someone from 300 yards away.

9: Whistler. Played by Kris Kristofferson in the BLADE series. Didn't really like the sequels all that much put the guy who's so old and mean that he'll have smoke while spilling gasoline all over the place is alright by me. this is just as long as I'm not gassing up my car next to him.

8: Egg Chen. Crazy old bastard mystic from BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA. I'd name the actor that played him, but frankly I always just call the guy "Egg Chen".

7: Jay Garrick. The elder statesman of the Flash family. Sure he's typically a nice fellow, but still has a tendency to throw a hypersonic beatdown to show the youngsters why he rules.

6: Honey Roy Palmer. "No one can beat ten men in a day." Honey Roy Palmer sure as hell can. Just see DIGGSTOWN with Lou Gossett Jr. as Roy for proof.

5: Walter Bishop. You come to FRINGE for Anna Torv looking hot, you stay because Walter Bishop if crazier than a toad licking squirrel.

4: Obi Wan Kenobi. Whether he's scaring Sand People, hauling Luke into seedy bars or subverting an Empire you've got to love ol Ben.

3: Gandolf. Sure he's an old hippy, but any old dude who'll put the spurs to a Balrog while falling through the world is alright by me. Bonus points for being ornery with uppity little Hobbits.

2: Bruce Wayne. I miss BATMAN BEYOND, where you get to see a three days older than dirt Bruce Wayne being old and pissed off all the time complete with Ace the pissed off Bat-hound. Nice to know he doesn't let his bum ticker stop him from slapping around punks.

1. Boris the Bullet Dodger. I have a soft spot for crazy Russians. What's better than crazy Russians? Crazy old bitter Russians, with guns, who get pissed off at things like getting shot and hit with cars. I do believe I'll be watching SNATCH today.

Freakin' Star Trek

In high school it was assumed that I was a STAR TREK fan. I guess my classmates figured that since I liked reading comic books then the extent of my geekdom must know no bounds and therefore I MUST be a fan of STAR TREK. Remember some guys in one of my classes asking me if i was going to a Star Trek convention the following weekend, and when I said I wasn't, they thought I was lying.

First off, I'm a guy who who read comics during my down time in class, and if I went to a comic book convention I had no problem telling folks about it. Second, I never really got into STAR TREK. I made an effort to get into "The Next Generation" when I was in college, but that was mostly because everyone else I knew was watching it. Frankly, I want my sci-fi to be a bit more explodey. They got those stupid phasers, yet we rarely get to see them zap somebody.

It's weird to me that people would think that I'm a closet STAR TREK fan when I'm very open about my fandom of other things. It's like there's a stigma on it. Reading comics? That's not so bad. You can still carry on a relatively normal life and still read comics. I do know some casual readers whose friends and family don't even know they read.

Then you have your STAR WARS fans. And really, who hasn't tried it at some point in their lives. You know how it is. You're at a party. Someone shows up with Empire on DVD and what the hell. Fire it up, it is a party. Now, I know what some of you are thinking: I don't know man, that stuff makes me paranoid. But really, we as a society need to get past the stigma on STAR WARS. It's not harmful. In fact some people even use it medicinally. Sure you might get a serious case of the munchies while watching it, but hey, what's the harm?

And I've heard the comments about STAR WARS being a gateway to STAR TREK, and I want to say right now that I've known people who have watched STAR WARS for years and never tried STAR TREK.

STAR TREK is pretty hardcore. I've seen it destroy people's lives. It's rough stuff. No parent wants to be going through their kid's things and find the stuff hidden in there. They then know that that kid is in serious danger of throwing away their future of possibly playing sports of getting laid. Even more dreadful is the thought of confronting the kid and asking him wear he got DVDs and Klingon/English dictionary and have him shouting at them, "YOU ALL RIGHT! I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YOU!"

It's a damn scary thing.

Still, the new movie coming out does look really freakin' cool.

Time's achangin'... : part 2

So, I have no interest in Marvel and my enthusiasm towards DC is greatly diminished. Where does that leave me? It leaves me open to things I haven't picked up before. I made the joke in the 'Fanboy Dictionary' that anything not published by Marvel or DC was an 'independent comic'. If that were actually true then Archie is an indy comic. Kinda nukes the old stereo type.

That's right kids, there much more to comic books than just Marvel or DC. This should be apparent to anyone paying the slightest bit of attention. HELLBOY is getting action figures, animated shows and some very cool movies. Frank Miller scored big with big screen adaptations of SIN CITY and 300. SPAWN has a huge following and has had figures, cartoons and a movie. These are just four off the top of my head. Venturing outside of the big two yields some very fun results.

For me, I've recently started getting into MADMAN, THE GOON and BONE. Good times all around. For those who haven't really ventured outside the big two, here's an idea of what's waiting for you.

DARK HORSE comics have been around for decades. This is where you're going to find comics like SIN CITY, THE GOON and HELLBOY but also STAR WARS and BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER. This is where you'll find a lot of really great, high quality, creator owned works. There's not a lot of your 'traditional' super heroes flying about, kinda a spandex free zone.

IMAGE COMICS has had it's ups and downs, but like it or not the founders struck a major blow for creator ownership when they broke away from Marvel and went their own way. This is the company that gave us SPAWN, THE SAVAGE DRAGON and host of others.

ONI PRESS is one you may not have hear off. However, if you've heard of Judd Winick or Greg Rucka then you should be familiar with them. This is the company that produced THE ADVENTURES OR BARRY WEEN: BOY GENIUS, WHITEOUT, and QUEEN AND COUNTRY. These are award winning books, and I've currently been spending a lot of time lately drooling of the grand gloriousness of the QUEEN AND COUNTRY absolute editons that are being released.

Then there's BOOM STUDIOS which is currently working very hard to suck me in and doing a fine job of it. I'm predicting this group becoming major players, and not just because they had the good the sense that DC didn't and made Mark Waid editor. Here's the best part about these guys: if you're leery of forking out the cash n something new, they've taken the sting out of that by offering some of their titles FREE on their site. So, once you're done here, go read you some free stuff. I'm currently working my way through 2 GUNS.

That's just a glimpse of some of the other stuff out there. So, by now you're thinking, 'OK, Marty's heading off into the wilds of indy comics now.' This is true, but what I talked about above isn't it.

More later.