Little free advice for DC.

AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D. premiered this week and its getting good reviews and people are liking what they see so far.  Marvel is firing on all cylinders to the point that in an interview Chris Hemsworth was asked about the rivalry between marvel and DC and he pretty much replied "What rivalry?"  Such is the extent of whupping Marvel is putting upon DC on both the large and small screen.

Right now, I'm firmly in the Marvel camp.  They're giving us these really fun movies and on the DC side we and given a whole lot of dark and grittiness.  The creative directors over at DC are pushing the dark crap to the point that they don't want their heroes to have pleasant personal lives.  They're current big event is all the villains taking over their books.  Meanwhile, Marvel is serving up insane space adventures with its heroes rising up against threats that I can't begin to fathom how they're going to beat, but the good guys have Captain America so we know the good guys have got this.

Right now, Marvel's got a better paradigm about its creative direction, but what I'm looking at is its paradigm in its direction into other media.  They have major movies in different franchises linking together in a shared universe, and now a network TV show linking to that.  Disney is loving this.  They don't have to look far to get their stuff out.  They have a successful movie business already and they own ABC.  They're being smart.

DC Comics is owned by Warner Brothers.  Warner Brothers has a TV station, the CW and they make movies.  So why can't they put two and two together and start making things exciting for fans?  The season premier of ARROW will be hitting soon.  Think they'll mention the huge alien invasion in another city?  Even in passing?  Of course not.  They refuse to let the chocolate mix with the peanut butter.  So instead of dropping a line or two and linking the show to the new Superman franchise MAN OF STEEL launched, their big news is a TV show about Commissioner Gordon before Batman came on the scene.  

Everyone, including Warner Brothers, wants a Justice League movie to happen.  The new Superman movie will have Batman in is played by Ben Affleck.  Some of you are upset by this casting choice.  I'm upset that they aren't firing Christopher Nolan and Zack Snyder and letting Affleck write and direct it as well as play Batman.  There was the GREEN LANTERN  movie that did not do too well, but it did indeed happen and has established the character.  There's talk of a Flash TV show spinning off from ARROW.  A big hang up for a lot of people is that Wonder Woman hasn't made it to the big screen yet.  We can work around that a bit.

My suggestion: link the TV and movie properties.  This gives you Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, Green Arrow, the Flash, and possibly Black Canary to play with.  The Justice League movie can introduce Wonder Woman.  Give people something to really get excited over.  

Green Lantern is a Peach

In brightest day, or the dead of night
I type this stuff with deadlines tight
Even though I'd rather go fly a kite
The Side is here! Round one! Fight!

Its Sunday, June 26, 2011, and let's do this thing.

MOVIE REVIEW REVIEW?

GREEN LANTERN hit the big screen last week or something like that. You may have noticed that there's been no review for it on here. The reason being that I've been too busy to go get to the movies. I probably could have tried to eek out some time to go see it, but I honestly wasn't over excited about it. I like Ryan Reynolds, and that had me tempted early on, but the more I saw of previews for it, the less excited I got. I didn't like the inclusion of the whole stupid Parallax thing. The special effects didn't excite. I don't like Hal Jordan. This all pretty much led to me giving this one a pass.

What I have found interesting is the reaction to this movie. The critics pretty much all didn't like it. One said it lacked realism. I'm trying to figure out where realism fits into a movie in which a guy gets a magic ring from a space alien. That's kind of a stupid statement. I think THOR let us all know that the whole realism in a superhero flick is way over rated. I just saw Richard Roeper refer to Green Lantern as one of the "sillier superheroes" with his green tights and flitting around. Yeah, because that's so much sillier that a guy in red and blue tights swinging through New York. Its superheroes. There's going to be a certain level of suspension of disbelief involved going in. Then there's people who have said that Hal Jordan was the least likable character in the movie, so at least we know they're staying true to the comics.

There's been other critiques of the movie about some of the acting, some story elements, and dialogue. Having not seen the movie I can't really comment about all that.

The people I've talked to about the movie who have seen it pretty much all said it was alright. Maybe a renter. I'll likely check it out once it hits Netflix.

One thing I find completely hilarious is people being glad this has flopped because that'll free Reynolds up to do a Deadpool movie. Seriously. There was people actually upset that Reynolds signed on to play Green Lantern because in there minds that meant that there was no way he could play Deadpool. Maybe it was because the characters were owned by two different companies. I guess they didn't think about Chris Evans who played Johnny Storm (Marvel), then a character in THE LOSERS (DC), some schmuck in SCOTT PILGRIM VERSUS THE WORLD (Oni Press), and is next going to play Captain America (Marvel again). So its silly to think that just because Reynolds played Green Lantern that he could play Deadpool again. Instead there's an entirely different reason that Reynolds won't play Deadpool again:

THERE WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER BE A DEADPOOL MOVIE!!!!

Oscar mike golf, you ridiculous fanboys!! Do you really think the people over at the Marvel movie branch are sitting there saying "OK, we've got THE AVENGERS well under way. Right after that we really need to jump on this whole Deadpool thing." They're not saying that. They'll never say that. His appearance in X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE? That's what you get. That's all you get. The little bit after the credits? Be grateful. Cherish that. That's the end of Deadpool being on the big screen. If you all say your prayers and eat your vitamins and collectively cash in all your geek karma and maybe, maybe, he might pop up in one of the X-MEN: FIRST CLASS sequels they're planning. Don't get your hopes up. And if you're ready to ask me about the people who were excited about a possible Deadpool movie after the end of the Wolverine movie, I've got news for you. You're it. You and maybe some of your friends. There's no public outcry for this. There's not even an outcry in the comic book reading community. Yes, the character has a rabid fanbase. So, did SCOTT PILGRIM and we saw how well that movie did. Its never going to happen. Get over it and move on.

MUSIC!!!

I hat ninjas. I am a ninja hater. That does not mean that I hate in stealthy ways. I even hate that stupid game where people try to smack each others hands, not only because its stupid, but because its called "ninja". And one big reason is that those pricks will steal your peaches given half a chance. Stupid ninja jerks.



That my dealio for today. I'm going to try to relax and not think about Green Lantern or ninjas. Or worse: Green lantern Ninjas. I actually just made myself shudder with that one. See y'all Wednesday. Weather permitting.

I am the (k)night!

Its Friday, November 22, 2010, welcome to the Foxtrot, this is The Side.

Last time I told of my new project of telling people who ask for my name for orders in fast food joints and the like that I finally just identified myself as "Bruce Wayne". Yesterday, while grabbing bite at the place I did that, a girl looked at me while I was waiting for my food.

"Hey! Its Bruce Wayne! S'up?"

"The usual. Fighting crime. How are you?"

This could possibly become a thing.

COMIX!!

BATMAN: THE RETURN tops my reads this week, despite that Bruce Wayne kinda returned already. I'm sure this is to make sure we know he's returned. This book isn't about his return, which he did last week, or the week before that, or possibly during those "The Road Home" books which came out before his return but weren't really about his return, so didn't really have anything to do with a road or going home.

And now we all know why I ignore fluff books when possible.

What this book is is a bridge between where Batman has been and where Batman is going. He's not dwelling on things, he's moving forward. There's something new and nasty on the horizon, and he's building Batman Inc. to be ready to take this thing on, and anything else dumb enough to try something in a city he protecting. The story itself is alright. We get a nifty bit about the bat who inspired Bruce. We also see that Bruce and Damien are not a very good team. We also see Batman doing what Batman does best: being awesome and making it look easy. The book is a bit pricey, and that's mainly due to the fancy cover and the bonus material of script stuff and costume designs. Nothing really shocking in their but it was interesting to me to see some of Morrison's scripts. It always interests me to see these from a writer's standpoint.

Over in SUPERGIRL #58 the story shifts from big wacky space action to something quite a bit darker. There's been a bit of a side story concerning Cat Grant that finally comes to the forefront. She want's Supergirl's help, because I guess Superman is still off walking around. This brings up the less than amicable relationship between Cat and Kara and they have it out, which isn't the most action packed thing, but its been brewing for so long its about time it happened. As for Cat's problem, its pretty nasty and creepy. A villain has targeted her, and we finally get to see who in a pretty disturbing scene.

In other news Zatanna, Zatara, and Superboy all face a laundry crisis. ZATANNA #7 had the fishnet clad sorceress taking on the animated clothing of deceased magicians in LA which threatened the entire city and few innocent lives. Over in TINY TITANS #34 we have a bit of fun with the fact that Art Baltazar draws Superboy and Zatara pretty similar. It seems the clothes do make the man, or at least can fool their friends.

Finally this week we have HELLBOY: DOUBLE FEATURE OF EVIL which I'm supposed to embargo my review of, not because of any kind of deal with Dark Horse, but because Mike Federali reads my reviews and can't get his issue until next week and doesn't want me to spoil anything for him. So here comes the spoilers, because I'm a prick. In the "Double Feature of Evil" there's a double feature that's... wait for it... EVIL!! Two short Hellboy stories, one comic, fun times. Its Mike Mignola and Richard Corben having some fun and having us along for the ride.

MOVIES!!

Lis Fies tipped me off about this one and its got me intrigued. Check it out.



If you made a list of things I didn't expect to be adapted into a major motion picture this story would have to be one of them. But its pretty cool. I think the director is responsible for directing a couple of those TWILIGHT movies which has people who care about TWILIGHT wound up a bit. I don't care about TWILIGHT, but I do care about comic FABLES, which tells about fairy tale characters exiled to our would.

The story of Little Red Riding Hood is a classic. Beneath the surface of this kiddie story lurks some fun themes to play with. Imagining the Big Bad Wolf as a werewolf is fine and dandy. There's an appropriate air of menace around this. I always thought it was weird that Red Riding Hood met the wolf in the woods and had a conversation about the contents of the basket and off she went. If the wolf didn't look like a wolf it would make much more sense. There's also werewolf lore that the person who is a werewolf tears their skin off to reveal the wolf, and tears the wolf skin off to reveal their human side. In many versions of the story the woodsman who comes to the rescue chops open the wolf and grandmother comes out. This could be an interesting twist to things.

So, I've got my eye on this.

Another thing I've got my eye on is obviously the GREEN LANTERN movie coming next year.



I'm not a fan of Hal Jordan, but I am a fan of Ryan Reynolds. I don't really like Jordan because I can't relate to him. A fearless, womanizing jet jockey? No thanks. I'll take Kyle Rayner any day. However, looking at Reynolds approach to the character, I'm now on board. A guy gets a ring that can make anything he imagines and now he can fly and go to other planets, and he's pretty amped about it. I sure would be. And he's not fearless. That's the smartest thing they could have done with the character. Bravery is not the absence of fear. Its overcoming fear.

This will of course be a CGI-fest, and I typically hate those, but really there's no way around using it considering the material. So, I'm cool with it. This looks like a really fun sci-fi flick and that's what I'm looking for. Forget the Nolan grim and gritty "realism" schitck for comic book movies. Let's enjoy the ride.

MUSIC!!

There's a time for stomping through existence like a madman and there's a time to stop for a moment and appreciate something of value. Park it a moment. Enjoy.



Alrighty, that's a wrap. See y'all Sunday.

God Flames Green Lantern with Old Spice!

BAH! Its Sunday, July 18, 2010. I don't care what the time stamp says. I'm hunting about for more info about what projects Stan Lee has cooking up with Boom Studios. I hear there's three of them and it involves Superheroes. When I find out more I'll let y'all know. Pretty sure the big announcement will be at the San Diego Comic-con which i won't be attending due to principle.

This is assuming that having no money can count as a principle.

Oh hey, speaking of the nerd prom...

BATTLEGROUND: COMIC-CON!!

San Diego Comic-Con is fast approaching and while I won't be there the Westboro Baptist Church will be. Guess the biggest villains at the show will be standing outside on the sidewalk holding offensive sign and being prepared to sue anyone who says anything bad about them. I don't think Fred Phelps, the leader of this hate group which pretends to be a church, will be making the trip as he is older than hell and was probably holding signs telling Noah that he is a homosexual and his boat won't save him.

His spawn Shirley Phelps-Roper will probably have something to offer, and she is utterly fascinating. There was this video game a few years ago which I'm pretty sure was named FABLE and in it you play out the life of this character who can be either good or evil depending on your choices and actions. A cool feature is that the character changed in appearance, so if you did bad stuff he looked more evil. Looking at a picture of Shirley Phelps-Roper you can actually see the type of person she is. I know that sounds really superficial, but there's not enough foundation in Kansas to cover the eeeeeeevil.

So, the hateful pricks will be standing outside Comic-con with their signs taking a break from protesting the funerals of soldiers to try to offend more people. They say they're doing it because this convention promotes idolatry. They are, of course, a bunch of morons. I would find it hilarious if some guy dressed as Batman got pissed off and waded into the protesters and started throwing knuckles.

Police: "Can you identify the person who assaulted you?"

WBC douchebag: "He was dressed as Batman!"

Police: "This weekend you'll have to be more specific. Did he have an distinguishing features?"

WBC douchbag: "I don't know! He was wearing a mask!"

Of course, I'm not saying somebody should actually do it. That would be wrong. But if someone did do it, and there happens to be a video on YouTube of it happening, I'd appreciate a link.

FLAMEBAIT!!

As YouTube trainwrecks go this one smells really fishy. So a kid is having a breakdown on her webcam complete with her father in the background yelling over her shoulder mostly at people who apparently said mean things about her in the comments of her videos. This was followed up by another video of the same girl, still in tear, and he father claiming to have "backtraced" the comments and alerted the authorities.

Let's assume for a moment that these videos are legit and the girl isn't just flamebait. The girl in question shouldn't be posting videos on YouTube if she can't handle criticism. Second, her parent shouldn't let her be posting videos once they see that there's adverse crap descending upon their family. This requires half a brain in on of the people in the equation and a bit of backbone in the parents. However considering some of the fabulous things I've seen from teens lately there is a chance that this is legit.

More likely is that this girl is flamebait, meaning she's putting on a show to get a reaction. She's reveling in all the crappy comments and jokes at her expense. She's gleefully viewing the response parody videos. She's very proud that this has gotten the attention of Philip DeFranco and William Ray Johnson. She's quite a little actress and the father's over the top performance just adds to the funny. Its a Glee level car crash, and folks are gleefully buying into it. This is the more likely option especially considering there another video of her chatting online with her friends with all the commentary scrolling in front of her and she's not phased in the slightest.

That or this girl is about five nasty comments away from a bottle of sleeping pills.

This serves as a lesson. This situation could be a real one and there are no shortage of victims of "cyber-bullying". The internet is not the friendliest place and parents need to step in at times to make sure everything is cool and there's no problems, and if there are problems it may indeed be time to step away from the internet.

OLD SPICE OWNS US ALL!!

A couple months ago I saw a link to a video of some show called "The Dish" and I clicked to discover that it was hosted by Danielle Fishel who played Topanga on BOY MEETS WORLD in which she co-starred with Will Friedle who was the voice of Terry McGinnis in BATMAN BEYOND proving let again that life is really all about Batman. In that video I saw for the first time the Old Spice Guy.

That's right. The man who has taken the internet by storm. Rarely has such a display of awesome overtaken so many. It's created quite a buzz online, to which Old Spice Guy was happy to engage his fans. He has shown himself to be of the people, even going so far in his efforts to aid humanity as to propose to a woman for someone. Of course she said yes. There is no refusing Old Spice Guy. Even Alyssa Milano isn't immune to his manly charms, although her response does make me think she's a bit of a gold digger.

This is probably one of the cleverest uses of social media in advertising ever. Kudos Old Spice Guy. I shall now go and create a comic tribute to you in which which you save the world from destruction while wearing only a towel.

I totally need a picture of Isaiah Mustafa telling prince "You're Wrong! The Internet can never die!"

FROM OA WITH LOVE!!

There he is. Ryan Reynolds as Green Lantern marking the third comic book character that he's played. There's actually a bit of a stink about the costume. Its computer generated. Reynolds wore a motion capture suit which allowed the CGI whiz-kids to put the suit on him in editing. I've said in the past that I'm not a fan of CGI. Let me clarify: I'm not a fan of CGI in movies when its something that could be done without it like fight scenes, explosions, or Lara Crofts boobs. In this case we have a movie about a guy who can create anything he imagines out of solid green light thanks to his power ring, so this is something that CGI should be used for. So the costume makes for an interesting bit because Green Lantern's in the comics is generated by his ring. So really it makes sense that the same CGI is used to create the costume that creates his rind based constructs. If anything it should make things look more consistent. Credit for using a motion suit so that it is Reynolds actually in action, that scores some points for me.

But will I actually go see it? I'm really on the fence. I like Ryan Reynolds, he's awesome. I like the concept of Green Lantern, but I don't like Hal Jordan as a character. It also may be a bit too much CGI for me to be interested in when I could just rent the animated feature Warner Brothers put out a while back. So, I'm torn.

MUSIC!!

Yet again SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE went above and beyond the call of duty and this time it did so in probably launching a music career. Waitress Christina Perri's song "Jar of hearts" found its way into the hands of choreographer Stacey Tookie, and she used it for one of her pieces for the show. Since then the song has taken off and is doing quite well in the Billboard charts considering she doesn't even have a record label. Here's the piece that launched the song. The dancers are Billy Bell and Kathryn McCormick. Enjoy and don't forget to check out the show on Wednesdays, this show is setting new standards for dance.

billy 9 @ Yahoo! Video

POP QUIZ!!

Can you find the guy who blogs too much in this picture?



Alright gang, that's it for today. Now, off with you!

The DC Universe as a Living Metafictional Entity

Grant Morrison stated that he intended to prove with his series FINAL CRISIS that the DCU is a living thing. He also said he intended to have sex with it, but that's besides the point. So, was Morrison serious about the DCU being a living thing or was it mad ramblings meant to sell books? I believe it's the former. So let's examine the DCU and through it the super hero genre.

The Super hero genre and the DCU in Three Dimensions

Now, it is said of super heroes that the two ends of the spectrum are Superman and Batman and every else is somewhere in between.

Superman<---------all heroes------------="" other="" the="">Batman

There's a bit of a problem here. It's flat. Nobody likes flat fiction. That's its own problem. It's a problem relating to this subject in that nothing exists two-dimensionally. We need a three-dimensional model for this thing to exist properly.

Through this necessity we can examine the super hero genre and the parts that comprise it. The DCU offers prime examples of these three dimensions and through them some insight into the genre.

This diagram is simplistic of course, but it makes for a decent base to move from. Let's go through these dimensions briefly.

Superman represents the science, or more aptly science fiction, in this equation. A being from another planet, and a futuristic one at that. He is also considered one of the most powerful characters in comics. His nickname "The Man of Tomorrow" invokes the image of hero performing fantastic deeds in a world we can barely image, but is getting closer every day.

Wonder Woman is a direct link to mythology with her origins and powers stemming from Greek Myths. This is magic. This is the unexplainable. This it the pool from which the genre sprang from. Superman was not the first super hero. Odysseus, Gilgamesh, Arthur Pendragon, the Monkey King and many other preceded him by centuries. Wonder Woman is the representative of the past.

Batman is the best of humanity. He has taken personal tragedy and used it as a catalyst to transform himself into an ideal. His skills are vast and varied, encompassing multiple physical and academic disciplines. He has taken the lessons of his past, applied them to his constant preparation for the future and thus made himself incredibly formidable in the present.

So we have out three dimensional construct. Time to put it into motion.

Applying the Fourth Dimension

The Fourth Dimension is time. Nothing stays static. We are all moving forward on the timeline. When we are discussing movement in relation to super heroes, there's only one character that exemplifies this:

The Flash moves the genre. We have had the Golden Age, Silver Age and the modern Age of comics. The Flash has been key to each transition. The creation of Barry Allen marked the beginning of the Silver Age. Barry Allen meeting his Golden Age predecessor Jay Garrick introduced the concept of the "Multiverse". The concept of the Multiverse was shelved during the 1985-86 series "Crisis on Infinite Earths" which included the death of Barry Allen. This series also transitioned the genre out of the Silver Age.

With Barry's death, we saw Wally West take up the role. This was the first time a "sidekick" has moved on to permanently graduate up. Wally West as a character was also at the center of DCU moving past the 90s grim and gritty trend. Writer Mark Waid spent the 90s taking Wally West, who was a well written and very unlikable character, and turning him into a model of character development. This was the beginning of a mini Renaissance for the genre which led to Waid and Morrison launching JLA. The exploits of the heroes took on a scope that was usually reserved for major "events", and this was due to amazing writers pushing their way to the forefront. This was made easier by The Flash, courtesy of Mark Waid, paving the road with a red blur and lightning strike.

The Imagination of the Imaginary

Grant Morrison wrote in "Batman R.I.P." that the Fifth Dimension was Imagination. This brings us to a character that can create anything he imagines.

Green Lantern like the Flash has had different characters taking the name. The common element to these characters is that each had a ring that could manifest anything they imagine. What is fun to note here is that the three main characters to take one the role of Green Lantern also represent each of the three dimensions I wrote of earlier. The Golden Age character was Alan Scott, and his ring was powered by magic. In the Silver Age, Hal Jordan received his ring from an alien race. Kyle Rayner took up the role and although he received his ring from the same aliens he brought out a different aspect to the character in that he was an artist. It was his humanity that set him apart from the others.

So, could the Green lantern Rings have a connection to the Fifth Dimension that is home to the likes of Mister Mxyzptlk and Bat-Mite? Well, that's speculation for another time, but the possibility is there. It's fairly evident in the mechanics of the Rings. Previously, when charged, the rings could create nearly anything for twenty-four hours. Currently, it is usage to depletes the charge. Perhaps the rings tap 5th dimensional energy and the process and mechanics of tapping the source has changed.

Speaking of Mxysptlk and Mat-Mite, since the Fifth Dimension is imagination, were they created by characters within the DCU? Did Superman creat Mxyzptlk? Time to move on.

Identify the Vampiric Space God in the line-up, Please.

FINAL CRISIS crystalized the concept of something outside the genre preying upon the genre. The Multiverse changed them and then they changed the Multiverse. The Fouth Wall was broken and we were introduced to the Fifth Wall. We are shown a mechanism containing 52 universes, each containing stories. These stories influenced the Moniters, which in turn had influence in the 52.

The Multiverse or 52 is the in comic representation of the superhero genre. It is something created, which has taken on it's own life and now influences the culture. It nourishes young minds and imaginations, only to have some of those minds grow up to contribute new stories to it. It's a symbiotic relationship. The genre has a will of it's own. It has a voice speaking to us in the gutters of the comic page. It has reached out beyond it's original medium to capture new minds and imaginations.

It grows. It consumes. Yes, it even poops.

The DC Universe is at the heart of the super hero genre, and the DC Universe is alive.

Beware my power, Kltpzyxm's Light!

I've spent a lot of time recently writing about the Flash and my mind temporarily went into Green Lantern mode yesterday. No I'm not going to write a few hundred words about the current Hal Jordan and the Techni-Color Dance Party-a-Go-Go storyline where we get to see Hal Jordan wear lots of different color power rings because even though he boring guy with an interesting job he seems to have the superpower of being super emotional. It's a grade school idea. I say this because I had the same story idea in grade school.

It's just the thought occurred to me yesterday that we learn about three dimensions in school (height, width and depth). The fourth dimension is time. In the DCU the concept of the fourth dimension is a place of pure movement and also the home of the 'Speed Force' from which the Flash draws his power. The Fifth Dimension is Imagination as stated in "Batman R.I.P." and is home to Bat-Mite (Might), Mr. Mxyzptlk and Jakeem Thunder's Thunderbolt.

I then came to the conclusion had the Green Lantern Power Rings draw upon raw Fifth Dimensional energy which once it drawn into the three dimensional universe taps into the ring wearer's imagination to take whatever form necessary. The Rings can only draw so much 5-D energy through. The old rings used to be good for 24 hours and now they run out with use. The different colors come from an emotional filter in the users brain in which their imagination is influenced by what they are feeling. Green is in the center of the color spectrum so I imagine that the wearer is keeping themself centered as they use the ring, because really 'will' is not an emotion.

Those then it occurs to me that the all these different Ring Corps coming out of the woodworks their must be a huge draw on 5-D energy. Not to mention that the new Corps are not centered and very emotional and that could have a feedback effect back in the Fifth Dimension. Would this have an effect on the sentient residents there? Are they upset that their resource is getting pillaged something fierce nowadays?

Quick side note: this same train of though led me to believe that Mr. Mxy is a creation of Superman's Super Imagination. Yes, I was thinking way to hard about this.

But yeah, there's my thoughts. Perhaps I should write it up as a pitch, which wouldn't do me much good because DC doesn't accept unsolicited pitches and submissions, which I don't blame them for. That and my venomous criticism of Dan DiDio would likely come back to bite me in the ass.

Curses, foiled again.