The End of Water as We Know it

Glub, glub! Its Friday, August 12, 2011, I'm ready to get my drink on, and this is The Side. While watching the finals of SYTYCD last nice (Congratulations, Melanie!) I was accosted by an ad featuring little girls playing soccar and on a break the coach goes to give them some sports drinks. She told them they were losing a lot of water, and one of the little moppets queried, "If we're losing water, why don't we just drink water?" At which point the coach, after being schooled by a 10 year old, produces a bunch of bottles of water she just happened to have in the cooler.

Guess what this was an ad for.

I'm addressing this because, first, it annoys me and, second, this advertisement is spread bad and potentially harmful information. Those kids weren't just losing water out there on that field. If that were the case then sweat wouldn't taste salty. Your body needs salt on a certain level. Yes, too much salt is bad for you, but if you flush too much salt out of your system by, let's just say, performing strenuously for prolonged periods of time in high heat and only drinking water, you can get sick and possibly die. In fact there was a radio contest as to how much water people could drink, and despite a registered nurse calling in and telling them that they shouldn't do this, they went ahead anyways. The winner was found dead later of water toxicity.

Yes, drinking water is a good thing. You need water. Right now though, we're in the dead of summer, and for some of us water isn't going to cut it. Yes, those sports drinks are often sweet and sugary. They have to be because nobody is going to want to drink synthetic sweat.

COMIX!!

BATGIRL #24 ends DC's most enjoyable book that they've put out in a long time. I've gone on a lot about how displeased I am with the DC reboot, especially what's going on concerning Batgirl. Bryan Q. Miller's BATGIRL run is the type of book that DC should be doing. It should be the model. Its a fun, accessible book and I feel comfortable telling nearly anybody to check out. Its really hard to review this book because every time i turn the page I just keep thinking about how much I'm going to miss all of it. This issue picks up right where the last one left off: Steph has confronted the person behind the Reapers and its none other than her father, the Cluemaster. One would typically expect one of these stories to be a wannabe-heart-wrenching tale of "how can I fight my daddy?", but screw that. This is Stephanie Brown, the post Spoiler version, the agent of Batman who kicks all form of ass, including hyena. Cluemaster: not a problem. This book is more a good-bye to a really delightful series. We have these really great scene's with Steph's mom, and Babs. We get a bunch of wild glimpses of stories that'll not get told. We even get a possible look in the future that let's us know something readers of this book have known for a while now. Stephanie Brown is awesome and she's going to be alright. Even if we don't get to tag along and see the journey. As much as I want to rail again DC for cancelling a book I looked forward to every month to brighten my week, I can't, because I just want to thank Mr. Miller for such a gem.

HELLBOY: THE FURY #3 puts me in an awkward position. I've been ordered by one Mike Federali not to review this book because he hasn't read issues one and two yet and wants to sit down this weekend and read them all in one fell swoop. So I guess I don't get to tell you guys about how the battle of Ragna Rok turns out and the whole thing with Hellboy fighting the dragon. I guess I also don't get to tell you about which character dies horribly and all that. Oh well. You know what I really love about this book? There's just one big set of events and all these different cultures have all their myths built around it. We have Cthulu stuff, and Arthurian Legend, and a Norse Apocalypse all sharing page time without stepping on each others toe. That is one hell of a good trick, but its what I've come to expect from Mike Mignola.

THE RED WING #2 is more heavy conceptual stuff. Characters are not the center piece so much as the concept of frequency-based temporal construction. There's also the concept of set time lines, which plays into alternate dimension theory despite that not getting touched upon. Concepts are the theme. Its about understanding them, and not understanding them. Not understanding the concept of this book's construction of time is seen as a flaw. Not understanding the concept of war is something that needs to be corrected even if it is unpleasant to discuss. This is such a weird book to read as I find it very interesting, but don't really care for any of the characters. Its like when I got The Scorer to watch AKIRA. He said "I don't care about any of these people and yet I want to know what happens to them." There's a weird disconnect here that makes this work like a classroom. I feel like I'm studying this book. Fortunately, I like studying things, so I'm enjoying myself.

BALTIMORE: THE CURSE BELLS #1 continues Lord Henry Baltimore's hunt of the vampire, Haigus, who murdered his family. Its a bloody trail with plenty of bloody battles. This works because it lets the captions handle all the exposition for those who are new to the book. It let's things flow without things getting bogged down. Not much to say here. If you like vampires without sparkles, and enjoy seeing them die horribly, then this is the book for you. I enjoyed it quite a bit.

MUSIC!!

Take that, Criss Angel!



That's it for me. Time to grab some Gatorades and head to work. See y'all Sunday.

Dreaming of Batgirl

It's Friday, July 15, 2011, there's actual comic reviews this week, and this is The Side. We had the service for my uncle yesterday. There was probably about 400 people there. I know a lot of people couldn't make it. If everyone who wanted to be there to pay their respects to him were able to make it, we would have needed a bigger church. It was a lovely service and a great celebrate of his life. My cousins said a few words about him and Scott shared some wisdom that his father gave him.

"You're where you are in your life because of the series of decisions you've made up until now. If you don't like where you are, then you need to make some better decisions."

Words to live by.

COMIX!!

BATGIRL #23 starts us off with a bang. The Grey Ghost, who has been annoying Steph with his creepy efforts to help her, is dead. The Reapers go all out as their plans get under way with Steph up again five power suit wearing baddies. Great issue. Really great reveal on the last page. Bryan Q Miller continues to knock it out of the park every month. Its really frustrating knowing that after Miller has done so much with the character of Stephanie Brown and made this comic one of the best books being published by the big two that is all getting wiped away in the DCU Reboot. I kept reading through this issue thinking how much I'm going to miss getting this book every month. In a really dumb move, Miller isn't on the creative teams of any of the 52 comics DC will be releasing. That's a damn shame.

DETECTIVE COMICS #897 has the focus squarely on Jim Gordon and his son James. Snyder keeps readers on the edge of their seats as last months big reveal that James is still a killer permeates and we see exactly how far gone this guy is. There's also an incredibly creepy scene with the Joker which serves as a hell of a reminder of just how scary this character can be. This is pot boiling story telling at its finest with amazing artwork by Francesco Francavilla. If you haven't been following this story, its definitely one to have when its collected. Its really amazing stuff.

HELLBOY: THE FURY #2 is like the end of the world. Everything seems to be coming to a head. The apocalypse is on the move. Mystical armies have risen up. In the middle of it all Hellboy is duking it out with a freaking dragon. Mignola really has gone epic here. There's been so much building up to this story and it not disappointing. We only get snapshots of all the insane over the top action but we get great feel for everything that's going on. There's a time to show readers things, and there's a time to let them fill in the blanks. Mignola absolutely nails it here in a masterful display of storytelling.

THE RED WING #1 from Image is a sci-fi tale of time-traveling combat fighters. There's a lot of conceptual stuff going on here, so Hickman is having to juggle between character introduction, world-building, and explaining how the concept and mechanics of time-travel are working in this story. We see the enemy they are facing but learn very little about them. We don't get much of a feel for the characters either. I came out of this with an idea of what this comic was a bout, but still had a bunch of questions as to what was going on. Still, its an interesting story conceptually, so I'm going to sticking around most likely for all four issues of the series.

OK, I got 50 GIRLS 50 #2 because I was curious if the characters were going to end up on another planet that made all their clothes fall off again. That doesn't happen, but we have women in skin tight space suits, women tied up, and Bakula just out of the shower reporting to the bridge of the ship wearing only a towel for whatever reason. While RED WING was sci-fi heavy on cencept, this is sci-fi low on concept with a lot more exploitation. There's things going on with the characters that are curious. A lot seems focused on Bakula, who's got something weird going on but we're not sure exactly what. There's a fair amount of butt-kicking. This is a fluff comic and its seems comfortable with that.

HOMEWORK!!!

Alright kids, your homework assignment is have naked fun time with this song playing. Bonus points if there's more than just you involved. You've got until Monday.



That's all for me today. Have a good weekend, and I'll see y'all Sunday!

I'm gonna stay here and read comics

I'm going to start sleeping with a locked door. I have a queen sized mattress. This offers me, usually plenty of space for that thing we call sleeping. Typically, there's two people in the bed, myself and the Missus. Simple math, we each get 50% of the bed. Still plenty for sleeping. So how is it that when the bed is invaded by the 40 pound child that kid gets nearly half the bed, the missus is suddenly on my side, and I'm out on about a foot wide bit of mattress trying to sleep and not fall off.

Its hard to sleep when you're about to fall off of something, but I persevere, because its Friday, June 17, 2011 and this is The Side!

COMIX!!!

Its team up time in BATGIRL #22! Bryan Q. Miller does the best team ups in this comic and this issue is no exception, as Steph teams up with The Squire! I've loved The Squire ever since she was blasted out of the sky by laser packing jet apes and promised God that if he saved her she'd never swear again. A mission for Batman Incorporated gets sidetracked a bit as The ladies take on The Orphan. Its totally like that time Rupert the Bear broke the clock. The chemistry between Steph and Beryl is awesome. These are two really fun characters, in the really fun and weird setting of the DCU Britain, have a really neat adventure. I've said it time and again that this book is an absolute gem and I recommend it to everyone and anyone. This is exactly the kind of comic that needs to be out right now. It seems like every issue is perfect for a new reader, and this one is no exception.

KIRBY GENESIS #1 gives us what happens when you send a probe into space and Jack Kirby's imagination comes back. The story itself follows college students Kirby and Bobbi as the world discovers all is not what it seems. Aliens start touching down. Weird stuff gets discovered all over the world. Its like somebody suddenly turned on the weird switch. Jack Kirby did a lot in his lifetime in regards to comics. In fact everyone with even the slightest hint of pop culture knowledge knows of something that Kirby had a hand in creating. They may not know about Kirby's input, but they know the creations. Well, aside from the work he did for the "Big 2" companies he did a ton of other work. The characters and stories he created are all coming home to roost here. This is a very well done book, and quite a loving tribute to Kirby's work. As a story it reads great. The art is stellar. This is a really good read, and not just for fans of Jack Kirby.

OK. How can I review 50 GIRLS 50 #1 with a straight face? The first issue features two good lookin' women on a mission in space going to a planet where something in the atmosphere makes their clothes fall off. I swear, I'm not making that up. This is a complete fluff book, and I'm not saying this in a bad way. It reminds me a bit of the old STAR BLAZERS cartoon with the mission to get something from space to save Earth. For some reason only certain women can survive getting through the wormhole. For some reason all those women are pretty hawt. There was a bit at the back of the book which was from the writer Doug Murray that there was a reason for this that'll be explained later, but I don't even want to think about this impending explanation because I'm sure it'll leave the imprint of my palm upon my face. This is campy, fun sci-fi. I can't take it very seriously, but that's kinda working in the book's favor. At least they didn't call it "Chicks in Space".

MUSIC!!!

I was stuck at a job site where some other guys working there had on a station that claimed to be country but was really just really bad top 40 music. Another guy commented, "I came to work to get away from having to listen to a whiny bitch." I know a lot of people blame Garth Brooks for country music become more pop, but at least he sang a song about some asshole slapping around his old lady and her finally shooting him. Now that's country. Or possibly hip hop. Wow, Garth really is a crossover artist.

I actually came across people from that country station doing a remote at an event. I told them to play some Merle Haggard. They told they couldn't do that. What the hell kinda country station is that? Well, they might not be able to, but I sure can.



Take THAT, Eagle 97.

Alright, there's a townhouse that needs painting, and it isn't mine, so I better get going. Word to your mothers and I'll see y'all Sunday.

Geek Overload!

Hang on, I'm comin'. Its Sunday, May 15, 2011, I'm limpin' like a pimp with polio, and this is The Side. Blogger was down for most of Thursday and Friday, so I'm making up for that today. As for the limp, I'm pretty sure I aggravated an old injury. I came off a roof years ago and broke my heel. Taking the down time necessary to let it heal right wasn't an option, so I kept going on with things, and typically its fine. However, work this week involved jumping over some railing repeatedly, and eventually I landed wrong.

Guess its time to put my feet up and talk some comics.

FALL OF THE AMAZON

Well, I said the Wonder Woman TV show was looking and sounding pretty bad, and it seems that upon seeing the pilot episode NBC agreed with me. I've followed this story and read a bunch of articles about it and I've looked at comments attached to the articles. No one had much of anything nice to say about it.

Look, the girl was pretty, and she might be a pretty good actress, but she looked either freaked out or constipated whenever she was photographed doing any stunts. The costume was redesigned three times based off the latest Jim lee design which no one really cares for. It doesn't look like Wonder Woman, plain and simple. Word is the script was atrocious. I heard there was a seen with Wonder Woman crying over her ice cream with Etta Candy over the stress of being Wonder Woman and running a business, which wouldn't surprise me one bit since David Kelley was behind this.

This thing didn't have a prayer.

Fans keep bitching and moaning about the lack of a live action Wonder Woman project. I still say be happy with the awesome animated feature from a few years ago. But, if you want to do this right you put Greg Rucka, Gail Simone, and Eric Kripke in a room together, and you let them have it out. Rucka and Simone understand what is great about the character of Wonder Woman and Kripke knows how to make epic TV and still ground it. You let them get the ball rolling. You then find an actress who is athletic, and preferably with a strong background in dance. Dancers perform incredible physical feats while making it look graceful and easy. Wonder Woman is as tough as they come, but she's incredibly graceful. This is important, just as much as having the acting chops to pull off a character who is elegant and caring and very compelling.

This can be done right.

COMIX!!

This week FLASHPOINT #1 came out in which DC let's us all know that Barry Allen is the greatest hero ever and without him the DC Universe would be doomed, but not in a way that made sense like "Chain Lightning". The effects of this story will be felt through out comics everywhere. In fact, Marvel's "Fear Itself" storyline concludes with Barry Allen telling everyone that 'everything will be alright' and then resurrecting Johnny Storm with the power of his awesomeness.

Let's light this candle with BATMAN INCORPORATED #6 in which we discover quite a few things, but foremost is Chris Burnham is one hell of an artist. Love his work here, right down to him drawing Bruce Wayne's eyebrows to suggest little bat wings. These previous issues have been a lot of build up. We've got an idea of what's going on. If you haven't been following but were thinking about maybe trying to jump on this train, this is the issue to do it. I've talked a lot about how Bruce Wayne is structuring this thing and here it all is laid out pretty for us. We also get a good taste of how this organization is going to operate. There's a couple of new members including a mysterious new Wingman who will be Bruce's ace-in-the-hole in the upcoming fight with Leviathan (Its Barry Allen, because Barry Allen is the awesome-est hero ever). This new foe has been creeping me out. He weaponizes children and its revealed that the youngest one is 18 months old. That pushes all the buttons I need to make me want Bruce Wayne to take this guy out. This book is flat out cool.

Moving it on over to R.E.B.E.L.S. #28. This is the book's final issue. They've had a great run. This was definitely a sleeper book which I don't think had a huge following, but everyone who got onboard really dug it. Word is this book got axed to make room for all the FLASHPOINT stuff, because Barry Allen is so awesome that there's just not enough room for all of the existing DC titles and the amount of awesomeness Barry Allen possesses. We get the conclusion of the battle with Starro. There wasn't a ton of loose ends to get wrapped up, so this book is nice and tight. Thank you Tony Bedard, Claude St. Rubin, and the rest of the creative team for a really fun ride.

In RED ROBIN #23, Time is up against assassins who are in competition to kill important people and he's got to stop them before they get to Barry Allen thus depriving the world of his awesomeness. Tim's running a nasty risk trying to get the inside track to take this group on, and its one that Commissioner Gordon and Batman don't quite approve of. Marcus To is back on pencils, and thank goodness for that. The story is pretty good. Tim's walking a fine line, and I'm hoping to see this pay off.

Things are getting thick in BATGIRL #21 as the Reapers send their latest agent, Harmony, on missiony types things which our gal Steph has to stop, which she does with a "huzzah", thus validating me for bringing back "huzzah". She also has to deal with her stalker, The Grey Ghost, who turns from annoying to creepy to jerk. I've enjoyed the dynamic in this book with Steph and Wendy, but its looking like that's coming to an end as Wendy is leaving to go to Nanda Parbat to try heal herself and start a church devoted to the Awesomeness of Barry Allen. This book continues to be consistently entertaining.

BIRDS OF PREY #12 has Jesus Saiz joining Gail Simone in this new storyline, and I'm one happy little nerd. I totally dig Saiz. I loved his stuff on the old CHECKMATE series and hes true to form here. The Birds latest case connects with one of The Questions, so we get a Question/Huntress team-up which is always a blast. We have the Birds working an infiltration, which makes it so fitting that Saiz is onboard with a superhero/espionage angle. I'm going to be honest, this felt like a Greg Rucka book. This is what I think it would be like if Rucka took a turn writing BoP. I mean this as a complete compliment to Gail Simone, as Rucka is in my eyes one of the top espionage story writers working today. I loved this. I loved this so much that I can't even slip a Barry Allen awesomeness line in here.

In HELLBOY: BEING HUMAN, HB and Roger the Homunculus head to South Carolina to investigate a weird grave robbing that takes a nasty twist. Its a nasty case with some bad voodoo involved. Roger is forced into action which he's not very comfortable with. He's not the violent sort. Fortunately, Barry Allen shows up to tell him that everything is alright. This is a fun little one-shot. If you haven't gotten a good, creepy Hellboy fix in a while, then this should be just what you need.

This has been the word of Barry Allen for the people of Barry Allen. Praise be to Barry. Allen.

NOZZ'S FAVORITE SUPERHERO MOVIES: TOP 10!!

Mike Federali wanted to know, so here we go. These are my favorites, and not based of critical reviews or how much money they made. These are also strictly live action movies, because if I start factoring in animated movies this list changes entirely.

10: The Phantom The first hero to wear tights, and purple ones at that! Billy Zane hit the weights like a champ because he refused to wear a padded costume. Same writer as INDIANA JONES AND LAST CRUSADE. Its a family friendly adventure and a great popcorn flick.

9: The Crow This movie pretty much hit cult status upon release. This was going to be Brandon Lee's star maker, but ended up his swan song. Great film with an awesome soundtrack.

8: Spider-man Tobey Maguire and Willam Defoe really brought their a games. While I'm not a big fan of Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane I'm willing to look past that for the many great scenes in this film.

7: Sin City They filmed a comic and did it well. Brilliant cast. Robert Rodriguez brought Frank miller's comic to the big screen in a way no one was really ready for. This was the big comeback for Mickey Rourke and he played Marv to the hilt.

6: Ironman 2 Speaking of Rourke, notice how the first Ironman flick ain't here? Its because Mickey Rourke drove this film like a champ. Robert Downey Jr. did his thing, but the rest of the cast were just as stellar.

5: Hellboy If you want to talk about great casting, Ron Perlman as Hellboy is spot on. This movie is a blast. Del Toro brought us right into the Hellboy world and mythos without a cop out or apology.

4: Batman Begins This is the best Batman film to date. Christian Bale is a great Bruce Wayne. And just when things got too heavy you have Michael Caine with every bit of charm you'd expect from Alfred Pennyworth. That's exactly what was missing from THE DARK KNIGHT: charm.

3: 300 No prisoners! No Mercy! This movie kicks ass on a primal level. They expanded on the comic quite a bit, but it was done so very well. This movie is one to watch when you need to get fired up to do what you've got to do.

2: Spider-man 2 Alfred Molina was remarkable here. Tobey Maguire again played an excellent Peter Parker. The train fight was remarkable. We really felt horrible for poor old Spidey making cheering him on as he saves the day that much more satisfying.

1: Thor That's right, I'm going there. Like I said when I reviewed it, this movie was a blast. Just a whole lot of fun. Good action. Funny as hell in parts. And it had a very solid plot and story. Top notch work and wasn't afraid to pull us straight into a fantasy world which it showed off gloriously.

MUSIC!!

Been a bit stressed this week. Missing Friday's post due to technical problems didn't help. Still, when you feel down, and Barry Allen is busy saving the world, there's only one thing to do.



That's my load for today. No numbers jump after the Pocoyopocalypse, but I'm keeping an eye on it. I'll see y'all Wednesday. My Barry Allen bless you and keep you.

Electro-magna-gooperangs GO!

GOOP! Its Friday, April 15, 2011, I'm bewaring the ides of April, not sure why, and this is the The Side. Its been one of those weeks where it seems the only thing that's been going alright has been tiring labor. Bunch of other stuff just seems a bit weird an uncertain from entertainment to keeping the house in order. I like routine. I used to wish for adventure, and now having had a few with their fair share of drama I've learned that I like things nice and normal with not a lot of fuss.

Oh crap... I think I'm maturing. DAMMIT!

Time for some comics to make me feel better.

COMIX!!!

BATGIRL #20 was an absolute delight this week. I can't say enough great things about how well this series has shaped up. Steph and Wendy have the newly revamped Firewall HQ and a bunch of sweet new toys courtesy of Batman Inc. These fancy new items get put to the test as Steph takes on the Reapers' superfast flunky, Slipstream. There's still a bit of mystery in the air about the Reapers and who they're working for. I know its a long shot, but if they're being backed by Leviathan I'll be bouncing off the walls, and the "everything's connected" part of my brain will be satisfied for at least a month. Maybe two. I highly recommend this book.

The conclusion of "Dark Knight vs. White Knight" hit in BATMAN AND ROBIN #22. The White Knight is murdering the family members on Arkham inmates, and its up Batman, Robin, and Alfred to stop him. The question of nature versus nurture is raised due to the White Knight believing that the only way to make sure that the evil and insanity of the those locked in Arkham is to sever their bloodlines forever. We also get a good look at White Knight's origin. This guy is a nice addition to Dick Greyson's rogues gallery. Batman has one of the best rogues galleries of any superhero. I'm very happy to see that now that we have a new batman patrolling Gotham that we won't just be getting the same villains for him to go up against. Tomasi has a firm handle on these characters, and I'm loving his start on his run.

Breaking up is hard to do, and sometimes even more so when you're not even really a couple yet. Huntress and Catman deal with their maybe relationship in BIRDS OF PREY #11. These two characters had some sparks fly when the Secret Six fought the Birds, but with all that's gone on with the respective teams in their own books Gail Simone hasn't had much time to deal with these two and their unresolved unresolviness. Simone really did a great job here. She didn't go an easy route. This is an interesting coupling that barely has any chance at all of working out and everyone knows it, but that doesn't mean that the attraction between the two is just going to go away. On top of that Catman has gone through quite a bit in SECRET SIX and isn't same guy inside that Huntress first danced with. lot of hard choices get made, and its a damn fine read.

Starro is back on the attack and is making a run at the planet Rann in R.E.B.E.L.S. #27. With Vril Dox facehugged its up to his son to come up with a plan to stop Starro. On top of that Lobo and going knuckles to eyebrows with Smite. Its fun space action time as our heroes look to turn the tide of an invasion. I've been a fan of this series since it kicked off, and while I'm ticked that it'll be ending soon, it looks like it'll be ending on a high note.

I hadn't gotten enough weird stuff lately so it was time for Mike Mignola to fix that, and he did with HELLBOY: BUSTER OAKLEY GET HIS WISH. This one shot had a weird demonic summoning which lets us all know that we should do such things or you'll be abducted by aliens. Hellboy nearly has a close encounter of the fourth kind, which is indeed the butt thing. As for the wish of one Mister Oakley, its not fully spelled out, but it seems like maybe he wanted to be like Hellboy. It doesn't really go as planned, but we do get to see them beat the crap out of aliens.

MUSIC!!!

Not my usual taste in music, but this lady sings her ass off, and the visuals in this video are really damned interesting.



That's it for me today. I'm going to go get stuff done because tomorrow I'm going to the circus. That's probably the most adventure my delicate disposition can take.