Leaving the costumes on

Boom-chika-boom! Its Wednesday, September 28, 2011, sex sells, unless you're kinda nasty looking and need a bath, then you're going to have a hard time finding a buyer, and this is The Side. Yeah, when I don't put my thoughts about comics on the website I do comic reviews for due to not wanting to possibly dent business, then there's something really wrong. Of course it might even get a little sales bump considering there some folks who would buy the issues in question curious as to whether or not things are as rotten as I make them out to be.

They are.

COMIX!!

Yep, more stuff coming out of the DC reboot that's getting some buzz, and not very good buzz. It seems some of the writers are a bit confused as to how to portray women who are confident in their sexuality without making them out to be Slutty McSlutsluts. This got kicked up due to RED HOOD AND THE OUTLAWS #1 and CATWOMAN #1. I wasn't expecting much form the Red Hood book as it looked like they just threw three characters together and are trying to make a go of it. I do raise an eyebrow about Catwoman. She's the modern superhero genre's first femme fatale. The character is important. She's strong, independent, and sexy. Yes, she's a 'bad guy', but that just makes her relationship with Batman that much more interesting.

When they ended CATWOMAN #1 with a sex scene like something I would expect from bad fan art, I could only shake my head. Judd Winick is known for including quite a bit of sex in his comics. THE OUTSIDERS had someone hopping into the sack with someone nearly every issue. There's nothing wrong with sex in a superhero comic, but there's a certain way to handle it.

Before the reboot, it was obvious that there was a sexual relationship between Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle. In BATMAN INCORPORATED #1 there a scene in a luxury hotel in which they get a little downtime, and its obvious that the two of them have a little fun, but its not blatantly shown. It wasn't in your face. A good writer knows when to let the reader's imagination fill in the blanks. That scene was sexy without being smutty. Yes, there was Selina wearing her unmentionables and a pair of boots with a bottle of champagne. This was after the same issue showed her and Batman team up to take on a bunch of goons and a giant robot. The tone had already been set that this book is about the awesome. Conversely, CATWOMAN's tone seems to be about sex. The opening pages don't even show her face. They focus more on sexualizing the character with images of her not quite dressed so the first thing you know about this character upon opening the comic is that she wears a red bra under her costume.

The mockery has already begun in earnest. There's also been a little flap about the comic catering to the "lowest comic denominator", and I wouldn't go that far, but even though I'm not purchasing the DC reboot, I expected them to have some higher standards as to what gets on the page. I seriously doubt that when the guys making this book were putting it together they were thinking to themselves about how to best portray an attractive female who is strong, confident, and comfortable with her sexuality.

But that was the theme last week, as RED HOOD AND THE OUTLAWS #1 didn't do much to win over certain demographics. There was a very powerful piece which I have to link to a screen capture of because Felicia Day caught sight of it, and when she tells people to check something out online, that something had better have some damn good servers. Kids still read comics. Kids care about these characters. Kids grow up and buy things. DC wanted new readers, but it seems they only wanted new readers 18 and up. At first I thought the issue with Starfire was just a shame and a waste of a character. I hadn't even factored in all the kids who loved her on the old TEEN TITANS cartoon show and heard that their favorite superhero is in a new comic. The discussion in that piece I linked to is powerful stuff, and I highly suggest reading it.

Just when i thought the reboot might now be so bad DC keeps letting me know they aren't interested in my business.

MUSIC!!

Its attack of the super group, because something in this post should be about something super.



That's it for me. Time to make the doughnuts! See y'all Friday.

Weird, Possibly Racist Sex

By everything good and sweet in Odin's beard! It's Sunday, December 19, 2010, I'm not frozen, and this is The Side. Most of the snow is finally gone. We were supposed to get more last night but were spared. Its been an unusually cold December here. I was wondering why and then I saw that there was a United Nations Conference on Climate Change. Then it all became clear. I don't know why they keep deciding to do these things around winter time, but it always gets damn cold when they do.

I don't blame the Metrodome collapsing on Climate Change. I blame it on the goofs that keep having big meetings about it.

DOIN' IT AND DOIN' IT AND DOIN' IT WELL

Sex is a complicated matter. First, you've got to find a willing partner. Then you've both got to be in the mood. Then you should make sure that proper protection is in place, which can be a pain, but it beats the hell out of the alternative. Then you've got to be careful not to yell out weird shit in the middle of things, because no matter how into things you both get, yelling out "MOMMY!" does not tend to go over very well. Then there's the afterward which may involve cuddling, which is fine but sucks when your arm goes to numb because she's laying on it. Then there's the next day which can be awkward if its a random hook up or someone did yell out weird shit the night before, but often that and the occasional soreness are over come by the afterglow provided everyone was throwin' it proper.

That's just glossing over all the hoops people jump through just to get to the sex. But then without all those hoops the romantic-comedy genre wouldn't exist, and where would we all be without that?

I get baffled by people who make the entire thing a lot more complicated than it has to be. Provided you're not some complete freak who likes kids, corpses, or giant weird machines you've got four options.

1: Liking to have sex with men.
2: Liking to have sex with women.
3: Liking to have sex with both.
4: Not liking to have sex with either.

That about it. I do understand on some of these cold, lonely night when a poor fella is alone but he lives near a farm. They've got sheep. He's got hip-waders. I do understand. I lived in Harrisonburg, Virginia so you just have to accept these things when the lead story in the local paper is that the authorities have discovered the reason why cows kept getting their heads stuck in certain spots in a fence. (Two words: "mooing violation". True story.)

But part of it is trying to find one specific little group for ourselves that makes us feel like part of a special little club. If describing your sexual preference sounds like you're ordering sissy coffee from Starbucks, then you're just sounding pretentious.

Going back to good old Harrisonburg and my college days, there was a guy there would was transgender. He had all the male parts, but he identified with women. He preferred to dress as a woman. He preferred to go by the name "Jenn". He also liked men in a romantic way. So, Jenn AKA Jeff was gay, and that's cool. What isn't cool is when dummies went to correct me saying he wasn't gay, he was transgender. "In her soul, she's a woman." "Sure, but in his pants, he's a dude."



All these special little tags do is overly complicate matters, when they're already complicated enough. There's not problem if you're straight, gay, bi, or asexual. Its when you start rambling off about being transquadpolyramalamadingdongsexual that your start sounding like a loon. In fact, if you identified yourself with one of the kooky titles back in the day you'd likely find yourself being forcibly asexual as no one would want to even deal with that nuttiness. However the internet is here, and for every weirdo title or fetish or whatever, I'm sure there's a chat room somewhere with their name on it.

RACISM... sorta...

As many of you may have heard there's going to be a Thor movie coming out in May. No, seriously! I have proof!



Pretty cool stuff. I like Thor, and the movie looks like a lot of fun. However, some folks don't think so. Yep, there's a black guy in Asgard and a group of racists ain't happy about it. Now, the article states that its a group of conservatives that are pissed off. Let's just clear one thing up now: speaking as a fairly conservative fellow those jerks are nuts. All conservatives don't share that kook fringe group's views. They're nuts, so let's nit turn this into a political indictment. Already groups have slammed these morons. Now, I'm not too keen on on calling Norse mythology a bunch of stuff "made up by medieval drunks", because there's a few people out there who aren't nuts and believe it. We're supposed to respect all religions so calling it a bunch of made-up crap is a bit uncalled for.

So, let's call things for what they are. Stan Lee, Larry Lieber, and Jack Kirby drew upon Norse Mythology when creating Thor. They didn't do a whole ton of research and just kinda went with things, but it grew and evolved. So, the Asgard and Norse Mythology elements in the Marvel Comics are not exactly 100% true to the actual Norse Mythology. This is much the same as how Greek Mythology is treated over at DC with Wonder Woman. It's all fiction and not to be taken too seriously as both companies treat the mythologies they borrow from with due respect.

Here's the problem: there's no black guys in Norse Mythology or are there any in the Mythology as interpreted by Marvel. However in the movie there's Heimdall (Ironically known as "The White God) being played by a black guy. Now, I'm sure Idris Elba is a fine actor. I'm sure he'll do a great job with the role. But seriously, isn't it kinda nuts to cast a black guy as a character who it makes no sense whatsoever to depict as black. This isn't like making Nick Fury a black guy, this isn't even like when there was that online campaign to cast a black guy as Spider-man. This is like casting Kevin Spacey to play T'Challa. This just seems like a really heavy-handed attempt at multiculturalism. Don't get me wrong, multiculturalism is cool. Other cultures should be shown and celebrated. Still, looking at the clips of the movie he looks like the token black dude of Asgard.

Ah well. The movie still looks like fun and I'm looking forward to it. Here's the scorecard. Casting Elba as Heimdall is dumb, but not unforgivable. The groups boycotting the movie are morons, and should just be written off. And the flick opens in May, which means I need to to start saving up now if I want to have my popcorn and Cherry Coke when I watch it.

MUSIC!!

Because some things aren't complicated.



That's all for now. My dad's in the hospital, so any prayers and well wishes sent his way are very much appreciated. He should be alright, tough old dude that he is, but its still a bit jarring.

See y'all later.