Bark at the loon.

Headed over to YouTube to see if anything was interesting, and this little news bit caught my eye.



"It's not Goth. Its not emo." And its not its something more. This takes not only the best aspects of Goth (everybody wear black to look like an individual!), and Emo (I'm a teenager and way too tragic for my own good) and combines it with the "Wolf Douche Factor". WDT is something that has been touched on before. This is a fascinating evolution of douchiness. Me and the guys would joke about this. You see all these little weirdos shuffling about and claiming to be vampires, and we'd wonder when there'd be a group of twerps claiming to be werewolves. Well, now we've got them. Thank goodness we can stop wondering now.

Look, I like werewolves. I like werewolf movies and the general lore. I've incorporated a werewolf into the horror fiction I write as a major character. Therefore I am claiming "expert" status and with that status I am here to tell thing children that they are doing it wrong.

If they really wanted to do it right they'd dress completely normally and only do their little costume time on nights of the full moon. This might upgrade them from plain weirdo status to mildly clever weirdo status. The cutesy names need to go too. Also werewolves aren't really known for being chill and relaxed. They mostly just try to kill and eat people. Not best role model there. I'm not saying that these kids should eat people, although I am tempted to say they can 'eat me'.

The best line of that entire news story was the one vapid girl looking oh so sincere when she said that they weren't doing this to get attention. Do I really need to explain how incredibly stupid that line is coming out of somebody who is dressed like that and claiming to be a werewolf? And sure I shouldn't be judging people by their appearance and blah, blah, blah. Listen up, hippies, if these little dopes want to do themselves up like Halloween 365 days our of year, fine, let them, but I'm going to call it like it is. There's no deep meaning here nor is there any primal pack mentality or bond between these kids. They're a bunch of kids letting their freak flag fly, and that's fine, but I'm going to give them the same advice I gave the wolf dorks preiously: Don't be a douche.