Showing posts with label fanboy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fanboy. Show all posts

BLOGAGEDDON!

OK, so today wasn't the end of the world. I know some of you are disappointed, but chins up, the end may still be near! We may all be doomed by that most insidious of dooms: pop culture. We see to have things out there appealing to the lowest common denominator. I mean, American Idol is still on, and people still watch it. Wendy Williams is still on TV twice a day. We're following completely vapid crap because someone said it was popular.

It's Bandwagonageddon.

To clarify, allow me to provide a definition from the fanboy dictionary revised edition.

bandwagonageddon - n - the utter destruction of something good due to bad ideas being blindly followed


Example: The Flash is good. We like Him. Wally West is a neat character who long time readers have watched grow up and become a great hero. Bad idea of bringing back Wally's long dead mentor and predecessor, Barry Allen is introduced. The company goes with it, because even though they know bringing this character back from the dead is the stupidest thing they good possibly do, they do it anyways due to nostalgia. People read it, and somehow ignore the stupid because of some sort of memetic trickery.

Its like the idea of something carries more weight than the actual thing. Things are thought of as great, but really they kind of suck, but various factors cause us to overlook the suckage. And this is why we're all doomed.

We can't just go along with this crap! We have to go in and intelligently determine why ultimately Blackest Night was dumb, or why Scott Pilgrim is a tool. Sure there will be die hard fans who don't understand how you have a problem with The Dark Knight and think your dislike of it is some sort of horrible character flaw. You can't convert them. They are lost. Empty vessels waiting to be told what the next thing is that they are supposed to worship, love and throw money at.

But then there are those whose minds can be sparked. They don't care about Tiger Woods. Why don't think the Government should be doing all the crap they're doing despite them claiming they know what they're doing. They've got a few legitimate doubts about the Pop-Star-in-Chief. They see what's popular and are wondering what all the fuss is about.

Don't follow the shepherd. Be the shepherd.

If no one is willing to lead the charge upward, we all fall downward.

Now get off your ass and do something amazing.

The Fanboy Dictionary

They are out there and in case anyone out there is wondering what the hell they're ranting about, here's a helpful list of terms for you.

*BANDWAGONAGEDDON: n: the utter destruction of something good due to bad ideas being blindly followed

*CHEATING: v: the practice of using tactics that are deemed underhanded that even though villains do it on a regular basis only is advantageous when done by the hero

"Batman would beat Superman because he cheats."

*EDUCATIONAL: adj: used to describe any work that depicts how horrible life really is and should be given to kids to prepare them for the real world

"'The Killing Joke' is educational because it teaches you that it only takes one bad day to turn you into a serial killer and you need to watch out for those."

*FANBOY: n: one who reads comics and has such a brilliant understanding of them that the opinions of others are worthless unless they totally agree with him

*INDEPENDENT: adj: used to describe any comic book not published by Marvel Comics or DC Comics

"My favorite independent comics are 'Sin City", 'Hellboy' and 'Spawn'."

*ONLY: adj: used to describe superiority of a character over any other characters carrying the same name

"Hal Jordan is the only Green Lantern"

*PERFECT: adj: may only be used to describe the artwork of Jim Lee

*PROOF: n: a fact that supports an argument, inferior to the opinion of the Fanboy

"Your proof that Stan Lee did not work at Marvel when Captain America was created is meaningless. Everyone know that Lee created Cap."

*REALISM: n: the addition of horrible acts of violence in comic books to reflect how terrible the outside world really is

"Sue Dibny getting raped adds realism to 'Identity Crisis' because rape really happens."

*WIZARD: n: the holy text, on sale monthly, not to be argued against despite utter lack of any journalistic merit

"'Catwoman' was a great movie because Wizard said so."