The Scripture of B.A. Barracus

Keep these commandments, my children, and be saved!

Thou shalt pity fools wherever you find them.

Thou shalt not leave your home with any less than ten pounds of gold around your neck.

Thou shalt not fly upon planes. They are unclean.

Thou shalt drink milk, but beware of hidden sleeping pills.

Thou shalt drive a sweet van.

Thou shalt not hit anyone while firing an automatic rifle.

Thou shalt only throw people over your head. Other throws are unclean.

Thou shalt always possess the proper tools to build any ridiculous machine required of you.

Thou shalt not question the plans of Hannibal.

Thou shalt keep you mohawk. Other hairstyles are an affront to B.A.

This is the word of B.A. for the people of B.A.

Thanks be to B.A.

Oh man.

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