I am the (k)night!

Its Friday, November 22, 2010, welcome to the Foxtrot, this is The Side.

Last time I told of my new project of telling people who ask for my name for orders in fast food joints and the like that I finally just identified myself as "Bruce Wayne". Yesterday, while grabbing bite at the place I did that, a girl looked at me while I was waiting for my food.

"Hey! Its Bruce Wayne! S'up?"

"The usual. Fighting crime. How are you?"

This could possibly become a thing.

COMIX!!

BATMAN: THE RETURN tops my reads this week, despite that Bruce Wayne kinda returned already. I'm sure this is to make sure we know he's returned. This book isn't about his return, which he did last week, or the week before that, or possibly during those "The Road Home" books which came out before his return but weren't really about his return, so didn't really have anything to do with a road or going home.

And now we all know why I ignore fluff books when possible.

What this book is is a bridge between where Batman has been and where Batman is going. He's not dwelling on things, he's moving forward. There's something new and nasty on the horizon, and he's building Batman Inc. to be ready to take this thing on, and anything else dumb enough to try something in a city he protecting. The story itself is alright. We get a nifty bit about the bat who inspired Bruce. We also see that Bruce and Damien are not a very good team. We also see Batman doing what Batman does best: being awesome and making it look easy. The book is a bit pricey, and that's mainly due to the fancy cover and the bonus material of script stuff and costume designs. Nothing really shocking in their but it was interesting to me to see some of Morrison's scripts. It always interests me to see these from a writer's standpoint.

Over in SUPERGIRL #58 the story shifts from big wacky space action to something quite a bit darker. There's been a bit of a side story concerning Cat Grant that finally comes to the forefront. She want's Supergirl's help, because I guess Superman is still off walking around. This brings up the less than amicable relationship between Cat and Kara and they have it out, which isn't the most action packed thing, but its been brewing for so long its about time it happened. As for Cat's problem, its pretty nasty and creepy. A villain has targeted her, and we finally get to see who in a pretty disturbing scene.

In other news Zatanna, Zatara, and Superboy all face a laundry crisis. ZATANNA #7 had the fishnet clad sorceress taking on the animated clothing of deceased magicians in LA which threatened the entire city and few innocent lives. Over in TINY TITANS #34 we have a bit of fun with the fact that Art Baltazar draws Superboy and Zatara pretty similar. It seems the clothes do make the man, or at least can fool their friends.

Finally this week we have HELLBOY: DOUBLE FEATURE OF EVIL which I'm supposed to embargo my review of, not because of any kind of deal with Dark Horse, but because Mike Federali reads my reviews and can't get his issue until next week and doesn't want me to spoil anything for him. So here comes the spoilers, because I'm a prick. In the "Double Feature of Evil" there's a double feature that's... wait for it... EVIL!! Two short Hellboy stories, one comic, fun times. Its Mike Mignola and Richard Corben having some fun and having us along for the ride.

MOVIES!!

Lis Fies tipped me off about this one and its got me intrigued. Check it out.



If you made a list of things I didn't expect to be adapted into a major motion picture this story would have to be one of them. But its pretty cool. I think the director is responsible for directing a couple of those TWILIGHT movies which has people who care about TWILIGHT wound up a bit. I don't care about TWILIGHT, but I do care about comic FABLES, which tells about fairy tale characters exiled to our would.

The story of Little Red Riding Hood is a classic. Beneath the surface of this kiddie story lurks some fun themes to play with. Imagining the Big Bad Wolf as a werewolf is fine and dandy. There's an appropriate air of menace around this. I always thought it was weird that Red Riding Hood met the wolf in the woods and had a conversation about the contents of the basket and off she went. If the wolf didn't look like a wolf it would make much more sense. There's also werewolf lore that the person who is a werewolf tears their skin off to reveal the wolf, and tears the wolf skin off to reveal their human side. In many versions of the story the woodsman who comes to the rescue chops open the wolf and grandmother comes out. This could be an interesting twist to things.

So, I've got my eye on this.

Another thing I've got my eye on is obviously the GREEN LANTERN movie coming next year.



I'm not a fan of Hal Jordan, but I am a fan of Ryan Reynolds. I don't really like Jordan because I can't relate to him. A fearless, womanizing jet jockey? No thanks. I'll take Kyle Rayner any day. However, looking at Reynolds approach to the character, I'm now on board. A guy gets a ring that can make anything he imagines and now he can fly and go to other planets, and he's pretty amped about it. I sure would be. And he's not fearless. That's the smartest thing they could have done with the character. Bravery is not the absence of fear. Its overcoming fear.

This will of course be a CGI-fest, and I typically hate those, but really there's no way around using it considering the material. So, I'm cool with it. This looks like a really fun sci-fi flick and that's what I'm looking for. Forget the Nolan grim and gritty "realism" schitck for comic book movies. Let's enjoy the ride.

MUSIC!!

There's a time for stomping through existence like a madman and there's a time to stop for a moment and appreciate something of value. Park it a moment. Enjoy.



Alrighty, that's a wrap. See y'all Sunday.

COMBAT SPOOOOOOON!

Its Friday, October 1, 2010 and welcome to it. The rain has stopped, the flood waters are going down. I spent yesterday at the house pretty much watching the sky fall and being glad that my yard has excellent drainage. About ten inches of rain came down here.

Guess I don't wave to wash the car now right?

SIZE MATTERS!!

Comics as a medium has a lot of options in storytelling. One of the biggest decisions to make as a writer is the scale of your story. This is a tricky situation because if you go to small your story gets cramped. You go too long and it can get slow. You don't want to leave cool, important stuff out, but at the same time you don't want to beat your reader's head in with every last detail.

Quick overview of what we have to play with.

*One shot. This is a story that takes one issue to tell. Very accessible to readers. (ex: GLOBAL FREQUENCY, EMIKO SUPERSTAR)

*Short arc. Story that takes about two to four issues to tell. Either inside an existing ongoing title or as a stand along mini-series. (ex: THE SKYROCKET, "Days of Future's Past" for UNCANNY X-MEN)

*Longer arc. Takes about six issues. Often done in the Geoff Johns write-to-the-trade model. (ex: BLACKEST NIGHT, "Terminal Velocity" from THE FLASH)

*Mega-arc. Number of issues approaches or hits double digits. (ex: CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS, MARVEL SUPER HEROES SECRET WARS)

*Long form. This story takes place over years of issues, typically a 'run' by a particular writer. Often contains arcs of various lengths. (ex: Grant Morrison's BATMAN storyline, TRANSMETROPOLITAN)

Problems arise when forces aside from the writer attempt to monkey with things. This brings us to editing. Editing, done properly, means identifying areas of the story that need a bit of reworking. Sometimes that means cutting a scene that's kind filler and not important. Sometimes it means having the writer go back to add something to the story. A good editor streamlines things to make sure that the story is the best it can be and told well.

And then there's the bad editing. This is things like butchering a story because of their personal vision, or making demands of the a writer to do something that's just wrong for the story. Let's take the aforementioned Morrison Batman story. Morrison is busy telling this grand story and a major chapter in the story catches the eye of a particular editor. The chapter is R.I.P. which gets the editor all excited because he wants to know how Batman dies. After repeated explanations that Batman does not die in the story the editor tells Morrison to end the story with a helicopter crash creating the illusion that Batman dies.

Why do this?

To turn this into an 'event'. The type of event that means the editor can go to writers of other books and tell them to include stories reflecting the events of the event. The results are a bunch of books about the apparent death of Batman reflected from the story in which nothing of the like happened. It becomes stupid in that you have all these different books which don't add to the narrative they're being forcibly tied to, AND what they are referencing is false. The tie-ins gave the impression that Batman was gone for a significant amount of time when in fact he got home the next morning.

There's also storylines that get stretched out to try to sell books, but really need to just run their course. A writer gets an idea for something that would be cool for a couple of issues, but that gets stretched into much longer arcs in an attempt to cash in. This forces the writer to try to make his idea interesting to the point that is can sustain running longer. Unfortunately this typically leads to just jumping the shark and turning off readers.

Editing is not a simple job. You've got to stay objective and in touch with both the storytellers and the readership. Most important, you've got to put aside a lot of your personal biases and do what's right for the project. Let the story come out properly instead of making demands for crap that just won't work. That's how we got COUNTDOWN.

COMIX!!

I would like to personally thank Paul Cornell for making my week in comic book reading awesome.

COMBAT SPOON!!! GIANT COMBAT SPOON WIELDED BY A GIANT MONKEY!!!

THIS IS BY FAR MY BESTEST NERDY WEEK EVER!!

Yes, ACTION COMICS #893 hit the shelves this week, and Paul Cornell rules this book so hard that I never want Superman to star in it ever again, I just want Lex Luthor and his sidekick Robo-Lois to stomp around all over the DCU and awesome forever and ever. This time Lex is up against Super Gorilla Grodd... and his Combat Spoon. The Missus is curious if Luthor expected this as he expected the Cowboy Caterpillar Crisis.

I want a Combat Spoon so freaking bad I might explode.

And yes I know gorillas are not monkeys and are an entirely different species, but I don't really care because monkeys are inherently funny.

Lex continues his quest for a Power Ring, and gets some results, as well as gets shot.

On a side note: I'm pretty sure I prefer Robo-Lois to real Lois at this point.

Yes, this has been my most disjointed review of anything to date, but I'm having trouble forming coherent sentences in the face of the awesome.

Pulling it together for a moment this issue is getting a bit of extra notice from folks due to the new back up feature starring Jimmy Olson. Its not Jimmy drawing folks in so much as its the official induction of SMALLVILLE character Chloe Sullivan in the DCU continuity. Fortunately, the story isn't just a fluff piece hoping to get by on the Chloe inclusion, its a pretty cool bit. What does Superman's pal do when Superman is off being lame? He gets up off the couch and starts being interesting. I'm very interested to see where this is going.

On over to DETECTIVE COMICS #869 and the fake Joker story continues. Honestly, this story his pretty much run its course. There's another issue to go after this and if the Fake Joker and the Fake Batman are not the same person I don't know anymore. That's the only way this story can not be a random mess. Sure, Fake Batman might be one of the cops, but that just makes the whole thing too random. This story is full of continuity holes to the point of I've shoved it off to the Hine-verse where it can't touch anything else to confuse me. I like Scott McDaniel's art. I know there's a lot of people who don't, but I loved his NIGHTWING run and I like his Bat-stuff. Its definitely not for everyone, but I was the best thing about the book for me.

Last up is FIRST WAVE #4 and I don't know why I'm not into this book more. Brian Azzarello is a great writer, and is doing this book well. I love Rags Morales's art. I dig the characters. I'm looking past batman using guns as best I can. For some reason this series isn't coming together for me, which sucks because it's not a bad book at all. I think this book will read beter once I have all the issues and can read them in one sitting. Some stories are just better read that way. Still, The Spirit is fun, Doc Savage is pretty damned tough, there's plenty of action, and a good mystery going. I'm still on board.

21st CENTURY DISCRETION

Privacy is an important thing. Its something that is to be protected. People routinely give up their privacy online in the popularity contest that is social media. Still, its their choice and they bear the brunt of the responsibility for what they put online. So when two assholes used a webcam to out a student online its serious. Its even more serious in that the outed student jumped off a bridge.

What the two students did was illegal. They videoed the guy without consent having sex. That charge carries jail time and I hope the judge throws the book at them. There's a lot being made of this by the gay community saying its bullying and making a big out cry over it. They're justified. This deserves attention.

I don't care about this guy getting outed so much as I care about his privacy being violated. If he wanted to be discrete with his sexuality, that's his prerogative. But we live in a world where cameras are everywhere. Its not even security cameras anymore. Cameras are on computers. The cheapest cell phones have cameras. Anything you say and do can be recorded. You can see my front yard on Google maps complete with my car. Discretion in these times is important. I'm not saying the poor guy who was the victim of this incident is at fault in any way, but there's an important lesson to be learned here.

Keep your eyes open for the eyes that may be on you.

TECHNOLOGY!!

I see stories like this pop up every few years. Exo-skeleton, often created by military R&D, which get compared to the Ironman armor despite not being as shiny. Still, its pretty neat.

MUSIC!!

In a world where "artists" can have so much style that it can be mistaken for actual substance its good to have some artists that can recognize important things. Like three words being the watermark for the human experience.



That's all for today. Have a good weekend. I'm going to make my Christmas list, and ask Santa for a Combat Spoon.

Manny Fresh has no ordinary glowing balls, my goodness!

Look out, now! It's Wednesday, September 29, 2010, and its a swamp out there. The dry weather had stayed a bit too long. I wasn't walking through my lawn, I was walking on top of it. It was nice for our annual Beach Workout, but I'm glad to see the rain. I just hope it stops in time for our karate demo at the church on Saturday.

The beach workout was good. Got sandy, got wet, got tired. All of these in a good way. The waves were a bit choppy and there was a pretty strong rip current. Perfect for training. There are pictures. Too many of them feature me with my shirt off. You won't be seeing them. You're welcome.

HE LIVES!! For now...

Manny Fresh has survived the weekend. The alleged e-girl did not show up. "Cupcake" though has still struck a blow against Manny, in that she seems to be trying to drive a wedge between Manny and the rest of the Mike and Bob Show. It got to the point to their producer, Chaps, getting angry with Manny. She claims she did not appreciate the jokes that were made about the entire situation. Either she's never heard the show before or this is a strike to try to facilitate the destruction of Manny Fresh.

I was listening to this on my way to work and called the show to voice my concerns. I'm not a regular caller. I've called a few times. I'm spoken to Bob fresh more at the comic shop than I have on the air. I explained my theory and how I thought this woman was a plant in part of a conspiracy to destroy Manny.

Mike Powers has thought the exact same thing for about a month.

All of this girl's Facebook friends are Manny's friends. A bit odd for someone living in an entirely different state. She's told him everything he wants to hear, but now that he's on the hook, she's trying to turn him against the show.

These are dangerous times for Manny Fresh.

TV: NO ORDINARY FAMILY

ABC rolled out the one new show that I've been waiting for last night: NO ORDINARY FAMILY. The show stars Michael Chiklis (THE SHIELD, FANTASTIC FOUR) and Julie Benz (BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER, ANGEL) as parents of a family that's coming apart, but an accident brings them together by way of giving them super powers.

This show was absolutely amazing.

Chiklis plays Jim, a police sketch artist who is passionate about two things, helping people and his family. Unfortunately his family has grown apart. His wife Stephanie is a successful scientist who does important research which keeps her very busy. The son and daughter are teenagers, so their interest in doing stuff with their folks is minimum. The daughter is more interesting in texting. The son is a bit of a slacker who prefers playing video games. It is revealed though that it son, JJ, has a learning disability and his frustration with it has led to his slacking in school. Interesting twist.

The show wastes no time getting to the accident in the Amazon jungle that gives them their powers, and still manages to give us a definite feel for for what's going on with these people. It was very well done. Chiklis and Benz gain super strength and super speed respectively. Later their daughter, who seems obsessive about texting gains telepathy, which is fitting. While her parents really dig their powers, Daphne is less than thrilled about hers.

Jim tells his his best friend and they experiment with his new abilities as well as plan for Jim to use his powers to fight crime. This was an absolute joy to watch. They looked like they were having an absolute blast and that enthusiasm was contagious.

There was a bit of action too as Jim tries to stop a thief who had no problem putting a bullet into anyone who tried to stop them. Jim's final confrontation with him led to a revelation that I never saw coming and led to one of the most awesome fights I've seen on television. I was completely slacked jawed and pinging off the walls watching it.

So I'm all in for this one. Great show. Great cast. Well written. Awesome special effects. This show is a big winner.

NOM NOM NOM!!!

There are superhero snack cakes coming to the shelves at convenience stores near you. Superheroes and Hostess have a long relationship as it was the one page mini comics featuring superheroes foiling crimes by use of snack cakes which led to me long battled addiction to Twinkies. For some reason admitting you have an addiction to Twinkies doesn't get you a lot of credit in AA meatings. I'm still convinces that the creamy filling is infused with cocaine.

Small problems though.

The Flash cakes have red dye in the frosting. That's bad for kids. Sooooooo, you shouldn't be letting your kids eat them. Not that these things are healthy in any way shape or form.

And then there's the Green Lantern "Glo-Balls." I wouldn't eat them anyways because I hate coconut. However, Missus Nozz put it best, "I didn't need to know Green Lantern's balls glow, and I certainly wouldn't want to eat one."

Cue Issac Hayes here.

RIP HUNTER, PARTY OF ONE?

Yes my mind goes off to weird places. If you're surprised by that then you obviously haven't been reading this blog very long. I watched this video:



Which was relevant to me because I had just seen my former boss who was doing some stuff for the annual Church Bazaar. And of course he was doing thing "chronologically". This is his favorite made up word in that he says it when he means "systematically". To do something not "chronologically" would involve a time machine. And even then the things he did do would still be in chronological order to him, if not for the rest of us.

You ever try to explain subjective chronological order to a bunch of roofers at 7:30 in the morning? Its a load of fun, let me tell you.

When you try to us big words to make yourself look smart without knowing what they mean: you loose.

And when you try to make a point on the internet and spell "loose" instead of "lose" then English had better not be your first language because then you have no reason for being unable to use mono-syllabic words aside from being a moron.

MUSIC!!

They were on Austin City Limits last weekend, so you're getting a big dose of the Avett Brothers this week. You're welcome.



That's the ball game for today. See Y'all Friday. I'm going to go enjoy the rain.

Disregard: I've gone mad.

It's Sunday, September 26, 2010. I'm in a mood.

Or five.

Maybe six.

PLOTTING...

I'm plotting against my fellow man in what could be an attack of art and writing to shift the social paradigm to a slightly madder and much more acceptable level.

I've had it with the e-zombies tweeting and Facebook updating their boring mundane little lives into my pop culture peripheral.

If you want your life to be worthy content, then do something content worthy.

Have an adventure.

Have an original, interesting thought for Christssakes!

You are the star of your life story, so go be a star.

There is a conspiracy against you.

I'm the bastard behind it.

I will do things to screw with you for the sheer sake of making the world weird and less boring.

I'll spin utter nonsense into the plausible for expressed purpose of jarring your brain in different directions.

I am a memetic concussion.

You are riding the shockwaves of the mad thoughts that generate in my reptilian brain, filter through the alternate dimension that I created through my will, and ping off everything you see and hear.

The mountain of self importance I possess can crush politicians.

I am the Biochemical Nightmare Revolver.

Dodge my bullets.

I dare you.

HOPING...

I'm just about fed up with the radio. Mike and Bobby are entertaining, but I only get to hear about a half hour of them. The Political Battle Royale with Ham and Cheese has become a bit tiresome on talk radio. That's even with Stephen Colbert holding court in front of Congress.

I need a new album to come out, and I need it to be good. Yes, I know I'm an e-troglodyte and albums are nearly an outmoded thing being replaced by songs cherry-picked online and downloaded into easily lost devices.

I keep going back to that My Chemical Romance video with Grant Morrison in it and hope like hell its an insane concept album of the quality of "Welcome to the Black Parade", but trading in the the exploration of impending death for a mad musical battle in the spirit of SIX STRING SAMURAI. My mind has already filled in the pieces to the story of the Fabulous Killjoys.

I want this album to live up to the story I've created for it.

Screw "hope and change" promised by a pop star who would be king.

Gimme hope for some damn good rock-n-roll. The kind that begs you to find open roads with no speed limits and a car with a fuel tank of gas.

I hope for art.

MOCKING...

Nothing like celebrities to make me feel better about myself. It used to be the big names invoked envy among us poor folks who got work bust our butts to set our tables. Now look at them.

Paris Hilton isn't being allowed into countries, deemed as an "undesirable". That's hot!

Lindsey Lohan didn't pass GO! or collect $200. Apparently, she didn't need the 200 smackers or needed to roll doubles.

Debates rage over who is a bigger scumbag: Mel Gibson or Charlie Sheen. The winner? Sheen publicist.

Idolatry is dead.

WORKING...

"Why did you stop drawing?" was the question that got posed to me this week. Might have something to do with 40 hours or labor and topping it off with hours of Karate are getting to me. My hands are sore and occasionally shake a bit depending on what I've been doing. No that shaking bit is not a warning sign of some horrible neurological problem which should prompt you people to comment and tell me to go see someone about it. Its the result of working with power tools for hours at a time. You grind cement off a couple hundred tiles or sand a wood floor that's older than indoor plumbing into an acceptable appearance and your hands would shake too.

But I haven't been drawing, which should be obvious by know as this post makes it sound like I've gone off the deep end. That's what happens when I'm not drawing. I go nuts. So I might have to do a bit of sketching just to keep the boys in the white coats away. Then its back to the salt mines.

Although if this blog takes weird turns you now know what's up. That or I'm screwing with all of you. I'm in one of those moods which makes me want to start Facebook accounts and just torment any poor soul would tries to friend me there with impossible updates.

I'll drive them mad and call it "art". I wonder if that excuse still works on the authorities? "Yes officers I did make those updates. Why no, I never intended to start a riot with them. No, I didn't really run through downtown Norfolk naked and whack random people with lawn furnature."

Fun fact: Facebook can be used to obtain warrants for arrest. E-art is dangerous.

WATCHING...

The season premier of SUPERNATURAL was last night. This is the first season without the shows creator at the helm. I love this show, I truly do, but I just wasn't feeling it last night. Everyone played their parts. Parker Lewis joined the cast, and is looking good. Last I saw him, he had put on some weight. There's other new cast members.

The whole things just felt a bit too contrived. I completely bought into Dean in retirement. I was eager to find out how Sam, if it was Sam, returned. I'm OK with not having all my questions answered, but the new questions posed don't make me want to walk through the door to find out what's up. It felt like fan fiction. Eric Kripke left the show because he had told his five season long story. The Winchester Brothers stopped the apocalypse. Not a lot of places to go from there.

While the people who took the reigns are very capable, the premier left a lot to be desired. Foremost, what happened to Adam? He didn't even get mentioned. Ug. I really want this season to be good. It still could be, but its not off to a good start.

LISTENING...

Because if Batman played a musical instrument it would be a banjo!



That's it for today. I need to either drink a lot more or a lot less.

I'll let you know when I figure out.