Bad nerd!

Hello, my name is Marty, and I am a bad nerd.

This not a good time to be a bad nerd.  There's all these nerdy things all about us in various media.  I have many nerd friends (people I only know on the internet still count as friends!), and they're all very excited.  I can't go on much of any social media without seeing something about recent nerd movies/TV shows/ whatever or one of the same coming out this year.

And I just don't care.

And this is troubling to me!  I'm not trying to be Hipster Nozz over here!  I wish I was excited about all these things that're coming out!  Aside from the Marvel Netflix stuff and some of the comics I read nothing is really getting me stoked.  Its really depressing.  Not totally terrible of course.  I still have The Walking Dead comic, and a lot of the Marvel stuff since the re-launch has been a lot of fun.

However, much of what a lot of people seem to be excited about doesn't appeal to me.  And its weird in that much of it has gotten so mainstream that the people I know who aren't really part of the "nerdcore" see it, like it, and think of me.  "Marty must be really excited by all of this!"

And I'm not.  Let's review my bad nerd credentials.

* I hate the new STAR WARS  movie.  I really do.  Its not a bad movie.  Its very well done.  I wasn't terribly excited about going to see it.  The Missus wanted to check it out, so we went.  If you haven't seen it yet I'm going to dance around a spoiler as best I can.

If a fictional character that I have loved since childhood, one that was the epitome of cool for me as a kid, and my favorite thing in that entire fictional universe, gets horribly murdered in a film, I'M NOT GOING TO LIKE THAT FILM!!!  That's the only thing I think of in regards to that movie.  All the other stuff has just become a grey haze to me because of that one part.  I'm seriously to the point where I want nothing to do with STAR WARS because of that one thing.

There's no logic behind it.  Its purely, 100% emotionalism.  The last thing that really had me vested in the franchise got bumped off, and with that I've out grown STAR WARS.

* I hate THE DARK KNIGHT.  This is not news to those who have followed me for a while.  The movie that a lot of people hail as the most amazing Batman movie ever, I rank it right down with BATMAN AND ROBIN.  It was a great Joker movie, but made Batman out to be a two-fisted moron with Morgan freeman there to do all the heavy thinking for him.  I found it just hard to watch.

And unfortunately it started a trend with Warner brothers to which ever Superman got very grim and gritty.  MAN OF STEEL  looked like something I needed to keep my children away from, and like the brilliant writer Greg Rucka put it "Any Superman movie that you can't take your kids to isn't a good Superman movie."

So, no I'm not excited at all for the SUPERMAN VS BATMAN movie.  Ben Affleck does look like he'll make a great Batman, but I have no interest in a movie which Martha Kent tells Clark he doesn't owe the world a thing.  In these movies, Ma and Pa Kent are the worst parents ever.  And honestly, I don't feel like going to a movie to watch two superheroes I like beat each other up.  Go fight a villain.  You've both got plenty of them.

Which brings us to...

* CIVIL WAR.  Damn it all anyways.  Why?  Why on earth do people praise that comic?  Its terribly written.  The artwork is really nice, but the book portrays Captain America as being a freaking nut and not much better than the Punisher.  And ever since then Ironman has been a almost a villain with no one really trusting him.  Now, we've had a reboot and Ironman is really awesome again!  But now there's going to be another CIVIL WAR comic which pits Ironman against Captain Marvel.  Yes, the Captain Marvel that's going to be getting her own movie in a couple years.  We couldn't go six months since SECRET WAR in which everyone got along and fought bad guys?

Oh and the movie?

OK, let's take two characters that we've been made to like and put them against each other.  And that last scene with Cap and Bucky being the crap out of Ironman was disturbing.  They looked like a couple of bullies.  This may well be the first movie that Marvel studios puts out that I full on avoid.

* Speaking of Marvel movies: screw DEADPOOL.  I hate that character.  I'm annoyed by his rabid fandom.  I'm absolutely stunned that a movie actually got off the ground and fully expect this thing to flop, because I think more people will just illegally download from somewhere instead of shelling out the bucks to go see it.

* SUICIDE SQUAD.  Yeah, concerning that: I've taken all of my f--ks and put them in a time capsule which is not to be unearthed until well after I'm dead because i won't be giving any of them.


Fortunately there's still so good nerdy TV for me to enjoy.  I really wish LEGENDS OF TOMORROW was going to be on on a night that I won't get home until after its over, but those are the breaks.

There's all these things out there that people are going to be buzzing about.  It'll likely come up at shows when I'm trying to sell my comic, and I'll smile uncomfortably and make some excuse about not finding time to go see it, but I'll catch it of DVD, and hey, let's talk about my book.

Its very frustrating.  I want to enjoy these things, but its just all so wrong to me.  I'm having people who didn't start out nearly as nerdy as me knowing a lot more about some of this stuff than I do.  I've gotten pretty good at smiling and shrugging my shoulders over it.

I will say this, its kinda tough when the stuff everyone's so excited about bums you out.

Vulcan Doomsday!!

Hey there, sports fans. Its Sunday, May 29, 2011, I'm needing more coffee, and this is The Side. Typically, this is when I'd start talking UFC as there was card last night. Unfortunately, I didn't get my kitchen pass, so I wasn't able to go watch it. More unfortunate was how the card shaped up in light of the number of injuries going around.

The scheduled main event was Frankie Edgar in his rematch title defense against Gray Maynard. Their last fight was a war that went to a draw. Unfortunately, Edgar has a couple of bulging disks in his back and can't fight right now. He's probably going to need surgery and I wish him well. This put the Jackson-Hammill fight in the main event, and Jackson had a broken hand going into it, so he wasn't able to throw his big bomb punches. Didn't make for an exciting card.

Injuries happen. It seems sometimes that I'm always injured, either with something new, or an old injury flaring up. When you're not training competitively, you can train around it. However, if you try to do that when you're looking to keep your championship you're either going to lose that championship, get hurt worse, or most likely both. I respect the heart of a fighter who wants to step in the ring even though they aren't 100%, but I'd rather these guys take care of themselves and be healthy. That's how sports like MMA keep going strong.

COMIX!!

My books didn't get in until Friday, which would make posting my reviews Friday morning rather difficult. So, here we go.


A massive object is heading for Earth at near lightspeed that'll wipe out all life on the planet upon impact. Inside it are a bunch of homicidal Doomsday clones. This looks like a job for Superman. ACTION COMICS #901 gave me what I've been waiting for: Superman and his allies up against incredible odds with world at stake. Its a cat-and-mouse game as the heroes race to figure out how they can possibly stop a bunch of Doomsdays, and it gets worse when they learn that giant space station thingamahoozits they're on is heading straight for Earth and not in a good way. Forget the whole Superman walking around and being a douche. Paul Cornell serves up tight action with Superman in what feels like a space horror story. Kenneth Rocafort and Jesus Merino are definitely up to the task of bringing the tension and action to the page. It was weird to see an Obama analog for the President in the issue. I do like that DC had a history of having a fictitious government type folk. That was one of my gripes about the JMS stuff. I don't read comics for diatribes about "real world" stuff. I want escapism and a good story. That's what I got here. Kind of funny that there was that flap over the idiotic Superman story in the last issue about Superman renouncing his United States citizenship and in this issue we get "Superman, your country needs you now!" Love it!

Also this week DETECTIVE COMICS #877 continues "Hungry City". Scott Snyder and Jock continue to deliver with this book. Dick Grayson is trying to help a business owner who is being pressured by criminals to launder money. That businesswoman also happens to be the daughter of the thug who murdered his parents. Oh, and there was that whole whale inside of a building thingie to figure out. Snyder really has Dick Grayson-Batman figured out. He plays the Dark Knight role very well when battling thugs and tracking down leads, but he's still the Grayson we know and love when Tim is giving him grief. The story itself is revealing slowly. We're fully on-board with Dick as he tracks down leads and presses for information. We don't see what's coming, and this is so important for detective fiction. We're having to put the pieces together right along with Batman, and it keeps us engaged. This isn't so much a "Sherlock Holmes" Batman in which he's five steps ahead of everyone in the story as well as the audience, with the reveal of how he figured everything out later. This is the audience righting shotgun on a mystery, and I'm loving the ride.

One last thing. There's a lot of rumors going around about a big announcement that's going to be coming out from DC. A lot of it seems to be that they're going to re-set all their comics back to #1 to try to get more readers. That's just rumors at this point, but let's remember that we just had three big centennial issues, with the fans voting to have WONDER WOMAN renumbered so that she could get the centennial issue she deserved. DETECTIVE COMICS is about a year out from hitting #900. Not saying that's ruling out a re-set stunt, but doing so would be aggressively stupid.

MUSIC!!

Because when you're Mister Spock everyone else and sod off.



That's it for me today. If you see someone who served our country, tell 'em "thanks". We'll see y'all Wednesday.

WWTNT (What would the neighbors think?)

Don't drive angry. Its Wednesday, February 2, 2011, I'm trapped in a time loop reliving this day over and over, and this is The Side. I've made this same post over a hundred times now. I don't think I'll be able to get out of this loop until I manage to post it without typos. I may be stuck here a while.

Yes, it is Groundhog Day. I don't think the groundhog will be seeing the shadow as most of us are going to have a hard time even seeing the sun today. Oddly enough, we're supposed to figure out today how long winter will be lasting this year and its going to be the warmest day we've had in weeks.

OLD MAN NOZZ

The other day I was painting a fence and the rain caught me. It was already cold enough, so this was sign for me to go grab a late lunch and warm up. Being in Norfolk, I just had to head over to Dog-n-Burger. The place was pretty slow as i had missed the lunch rush. The guy in line behind me looked like a kindred fellow. As I waited for my food to be ready I noticed him reading through the same free magazine I was. Its a little magazine they carry there which covers art, food, and the local music scene. He was a fellow that appreciated such things but still made his living with sweat on his brow and dirty on his hands.

Food was ready. We ate and read in silence, listening to the hustle and bustle behind the counter and radio playing. Sure enough our peaceful lunch was disrupted by a distinctive "raw raw raw raw raw". Lady fucking Gaga. Our eyes rolled simultaneously. The conversation was engaged as we both just wanted nothing more than to enjoy our food without having to here her. We discussed our appreciation for talk radio as the music that is played on the FM stations is either horribly tired or just plain horrible.

I know Lady Gaga is a virtuoso level pianist. I also know that Justin Bieber can bang the living hell out of a drum kit. I wish they'd both just cut the shit and make music. Real music. Joey Fatone of nSync was asked once if he liked the music he sang. He said "no". When asked why he sang it, he merely looked at the person asking him and replied "Do you know how much money they pay me to sing this garbage?"

I heard once that the music that's out there when you're 23 is your music. This may be true for when I get knocked down, I get up again. Ain't never gonna keep me down. I don't know. One of my favorite songs is from that year, but I don't know if that year defines my musical taste.

I pondered that as I finished my lunch. I then went a block over to Local Heroes. This marks the first time in a half dozen visits to that store that SCOTT PILGRIM VERSUS THE WORLD was not playing on the flat screen. I marveled at this for a moment, and commented as much the to manager. He asked my thoughts on Scott Pilgrim, and I told him I wasn't a fan of the comic. He asked about my thoughts on the movie. I told him I didn't feel like seeing a movie based on a comic I didn't like. He shrugged.

"Maybe you're just too old, man."

He didn't say it in a mean way. He just stated the fact that this entire thing was geared towards people who are younger than me. This was sobering. My time as a young Generation X bastard-at-large is over. I should probably accept that my notion of cool and quality stuff is not shared by these young up-and-comers. Its probably what my father had to deal with when listening to "my" music.

The problem with that is "my" music is awesome. My dad dug a lot of the tunes I liked. This crap coming out now is just that. We're lucky as hear if he hear anything decent on the radio.

Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber don't make music. They sell music. Maybe when they make enough cash they can buy their artistic integrity back. And Scott Pilgrim is the story of a moron who would be much more interesting if he spent the entire comic series gagged, tied to a chair, and hit in the face with bricks.

Yes, I am too old.

Too old to put up with this shabby shit that's barely passable entertainment that the drones want to call "art".

FUNNY BOOK FLICKS!!

Henry Cavill has been cast as Superman in the next Superman film. I don't know anything about guy. I can't think of anything that I've seen that he's been in. Christopher Nolan is still attached to this, so I'm not looking forward to this. Zack Snyder will be directing it, and I liked 300, and haven't cared to see anything else he's done.

The response to this news has been predictable to a degree. There's a bunch of people ticked off that Tom Welling isn't playing the role. SMALLVILLE has been around for quite a while and still has a very loyal fanbase. With the show in its last season many of them were hoping that movie would be a transition of sorts with Welling finally playing a fully realized Superman. Hope now of them were holding their breath. Best they can hope for is a made for TV flick. And really, why do these people want a big theater release. They'll probably all download off the internet anyways. That's why that SCOTT PILGRIM movie flopped so badly. The fanbase loved it, but they aren't going to shell out the cash to actually go see it.

Then there's the group that's upset that Superman isn't being played by an American actor. I'm wondering where this mob has been fermenting. I can imagine them sitting in their basements pondering:

"OK, Batman isn't being played by an American. Well, that's alright because Christian Bale is a good actor. Oh, Spider-man isn't being played by an American now. Well, that last movie was complete shit, and anything would be better than that. Wait. Superman isn't being played by an American? THIS TIME THEY'VE GONE TOO FAR!!!! TO THE INTERNETZ!!!

I have heard the point made that is would be like James Bond being played by an American. Who cares at this point? If Cavill can effect a good American accent, then have at it.

The one I thought was really funny was one comment I saw: "Why was a BLACK man cast as Superman. There's no reason why Superman couldn't be BLACK." Silly man. Of course Superman can't be black. Its a Christopher Nolan movie. We all know the only black guy allowed to play a prominent role in a Christopher Nolan movie is Morgan Freeman. Do you want Morgan Freeman to play Superman? Well, do ya?

Snark aside, yes the iconic superheroes are mainly white guys on parade. There absolutely needs to be more diversity in the genre, and there's been a lot of strides in that direction. Honestly, I really do want to a black guy to be cast as Superman. The meltdown on this on the internet would be absolutely epic.

Ah well. In the glut of superhero movies I can afford to be choosey. I wish this guy the best since this is his big break and all. Still, its a Nolan flick. So most likely, I'm out.

MUSIC!!

That's it for this time around today. Stoopid time loop. Where's Rip Hunter when you need him? See y'all Wednesday over and over and over and over again.

Straczynski's Swipey Thing

Its Friday, November 12, 2010, I'm ready to swipe something, and this is The Side. Recently, I helped change a bunch of glass in windows in another town. The client was a friend of friends we got the job done pretty quickly and everything looked great. However the client seems to be having trouble with his penmanship when it comes to writing the check to pay for replacing the glass.

This led to him showing up at my buddy's door asking his wife about a "swipey thing".

Now call me old fashioned, but I always thought it was bad form to show up unannounced at a fella's house and make inquiries to his wife about a swipey thing.

Seems the guy want to pay with a credit card as he's "moving and packed up his checkbook". Oh, well, that explains everything, because whenever I've moved, the checkbook was the first thing I shoved in a box. Shame on my buddy for not having a swipey thing.

SWIPEY COMIX!!

Seems someone swiped my copy of THE RETURN OF BRUCE WAYNE #6 before I could get to the shop this week, so my thoughts on that will have to wait until I can secure an issue. In the meantime...

KNIGHT AND SQUIRE #2 hit the shelves and was pleasantly weird and charming. BATGIRL #15 welcomed aboard Dustin Nguyen to the creative line up and is completely worth it for the three page history to the Bat-verse according to Steph. The rest of the issue is fun too. TINY TITANS/LITTLE ARCHIE AND HIS PALS #2 had all the fun and humor I've come to expect from Baltazar and Franco. When you have the bat-tusi and Josie and the Pussycats in the same comic its really hard to go wrong. Speaking of team-ups, HELLBOY/BEASTS OF BURDEN found its way into my bag and it was a lot of fun. Talking animals being cute and fighting supernatural stuff is a totally untapped market. I was previous unaware of these here Beasts of Burden, but I shall investigate further.

BIRDS OF PREY #6 wraps up the inaugural storyline for the relaunched title. There was seriously a Birds of Prey shaped hole in things after this book was swiped away from us poor nerds. Huntress takes on Shiva in a battle to the death. That alone is plenty. What I didn't expect was Shiva actually acting just a little bit like a human being here and there. Huntress doesn't get a whole lot of respect in the DCU, which I suspect has a bit to do with the outfit she's constantly drawn in, but she's center stage and being completely awesome in this book. Great stuff from Gail Simone, but great stuff from her business as usual.

R.E.B.E.L.S. #22 brings Starfire to center stage as her and a Psion Green Lantern get a hard look at what it means to be a female on the planet Psion. It was pretty harsh stuff as we see a culture in which the only reason they keep females around at all is for breeding purposes. Starfire is an excellent fit into this book which is all about the space characters of the DCU. I'm still burnt out quite a bit on Green Lanterns what with all the GL themed events recently that just served to annoy me, but Bedard has to use them. This book is about space heroes, and they are space heroes. It makes sense that they're there. The bokk continues to be incredibly solid and a great read.

SWIPEY BUH-BYE! sorta...

Previously I bailed completely from reading the comics SUPERMAN and WONDER WOMAN despite being a big fan of both characters because writer J Michael Straczynski took over both titles and made them both awful. The WW story was like a cliché of a cliché featuring super strong girl with no memories fighting an eeeeeeevil government agency hoping to get revenge for killing all of her people. I read one issue, vomited and promptly dropped the book, praying that this was all a dream and that somehow Gail Simone would magically return to save me. The Superman story fetured the big guy walking around looking for answers to life and yet somehow being condescending to everyone questioning his actions and seeming to have all the answers. It also featured Superman and current Batman, Dick Grayson, being utterly douchey to each other in what seemed to be a throwback to the first part of INFINITE CRISIS and showing that JMS seems to have no concept of what makes Dick Grayson tick, which seems to complete the trinity since he doesn't seem to know what it is that makes Superman and Wonder Woman awesome.



Then I rejoiced to learn that JMS was quitting both book early. I was gleeful last evening, blissful in thoughts that prayer does indeed work and then got down on my knees to get to work on the smiting of Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, and whoever it was at YouTube that put that James Cameron ad together which makes it a pain to watch the videos I want to watch. Makes the videos skip. I don't like it. Then I later learned that Chris Robinson and Phil Hester will be taking over the writing of SUPERMAN and WONDER WOMAN respectively, which is cool because I had forgotten that Phil Hester writes stuff. And finally, unfortunately, I learned that both writers would be working from Straczynski's notes. So, I suppose Bieber, Gaga, and the YouTube putz will continue to live, although they may all get boils.

JMS is going to go off to write a sequel to that EARTH ONE book I completely ignored, which is fine because the more projects like this he goes off to do the less he can infect the continuity of the characters I love with bad stories. So, it looks like I'll be staying away from SUPERMAN and WONDER WOMAN for a while yet, and hopefully the writers will be able to get out from under the JMS notes soon.

SWIPEY MUSIC!!

The Missus made a discovery! Guy and girl with pretty eyes and a Batman T-shirt make music! YOU LISTEN NOW!! And no you don't get to see her swipey thing.



Alright, its time to go do stuff. I need to go find my swipey thing so that I can get paid this week. Its like the world is trying to go all BATMAN BEYOND on me.

Gail Simone battles George Lucus with Jetpacks!

Its Friday, October 6, 2010, my hair is a mess, and this is the Side.

First off, 24 Hour Comic Day was last weekend. That's when creators produce 24 pages of comic in as many hours. Our good friend, loyal supporter, and all-around awesome gal Kat Hogan participated. Her project can be seen here. Go there. Enjoy. Don't worry, I'll wait.

Done?

OK, let's go.

IT'S HEADED RIGHT FOR US!!!

George Lucus announced last week that he has no more ideas in his head at all but still wants your monies. Translation: he's releasing the STAR WARS movies in theaters in 3D. This of course is great news for the dozen or so people who think 3D is awesome and this announcement makes their lives complete. The rest of the population rolled our eyes and asked "Really?"

Because its not like George hasn't messed with the franchise enough. Sure he created it, and the orginal films are awesome. Then he turned around and released the movies and updated some of the special effects. Alright, we're OK with that as long as everyone is clear that Han shot first. After that off course came the prequels, which really weren't that good at all, but we still watched them because we're a bunch of lemming nerds. We dealt with it though because "Phantom Menace" had Darth Maul, and "Send in the Clones" had Yoda kicking ass, and "Revenge of the Sith" had... had...

OK, "Revenge of the Sith" completely sucked.

But soon you'll be able to see it suck in 3D!

They're planning on rolling out "Phantom Menace" in 2012 as the Mayans predicted.

Probably by that time everyone will be completely fed up with 3D and just sit home and watch their pirated DVDs of the original trilogy. Y'know, I'm against stealing content, I really am, BUT I've watched the movies, I've watched the releases, my parents bought me a ton of the toys when i was a kid. I even got the Boba Fett action figure in the mail before "Empire Strikes Back" came out and nobody knew who this guy was or what he did, but HOT DAMN did he look cool! And I'm definitely anti-entitlement, however, for all the hard earned money that I and my parents have spent on STAR WARS I should be able to watch the version I want on the format I want.

So, I want a DVD without Hayden freaking Christianson photoshopped into the final scene of "Jedi".

That's not too much to ask.

So Mister Lucus, with all due respect, F'N QUIT IT!!! Quit screwing with the movies I love. Do something new or just enjoy retirement.

BATTLEGROUND: TEH INTARWUB!!

Cyber-bullying seems to be on the rise. This is when someone picks on someone else online. This is made much easier by social networking sites, but its absolutely not their faults. They do what they can to crack down on these sorts of things. Parents are very worried, but don't seem to be worried enough to keep their kids offline.

NEWSFLASH: There's more to the internet than Facebook.

There are a lot of websites that are very well moderated geared towards young people. And you create your own user name so unless you tell people who you really are, then they won't know. When you put yourself out there online, whether you are a child or an adult, you put a target on yourself. That target is not only for criminals and weirdos, but for anyone who doesn't like you. So if you're going to go online, you either need to know how to keep your online privacy secure, or grow a really thick skin.

And then there's the claim of this won't stop what people say behind your back. Look, this is nothing new. Waaaaaaaay, back when I was in school before such inventions as the internet existed people would still say things behind other peoples back. I'm pretty damn sure Thomas Edison created the telephone just so he could talk shit about people behind their backs, because tapping out how stupid someone is in morse code is a pain in the ass. And certainly people talked about me behind my back. I was a skinny kid with braces who read a ton comic books and made great grades. No one lifted a finger against me and no one could say anything that I hadn't heard a million times before. Being able to throw a spiral, hit a softball a country mile, and people not being sure whether or not I was a black belt in Karate didn't hurt either.

Bottom line: there are people on and offline who suck and will target anyone if they think they can get away with it to make themselves fell better. You can't hide from them forever and you mommy won't always be around to deal with them. Learn to deal. Either ignore it, report it, or get ready to get your hands dirty.

COMIC SPECULATION!!

I really don't spend a lot of time on Twitter but when i do things just jump out at me. Like this from Gail Simone for example:

Even people who haven't been reading BOP are gonna want to pick up the DEATH OF ORACLE storyline. Just saying.

Now this may cause some people to worry quite a bit as oracle is a very beloved character, however I can tell you not to worry as my sources have ferreted out the truth. I say this because my sources are actual ferrets.

Oracle will not actually be dying because Oracle can never die. Instead Barbara Gordon will be sent back in time to sit in an ancient clock tower for a while. In the meantime the "Battle for the Comp" mini-series written and illustrated by Ed Benes will be launch to determine who will be the new Oracle. The new oracle will be Wendy Harris and working along side her as the new Proxy will be the daughter Barbara Gordon never knew she had, but it'll make for an interesting dynamic since the younger Gordon was raised Mark Zuckerburg and is evil, sorta.

A mysterious force will begin bouncing Barbara through history where she'll found Microsoft, invent the telegraph, as well as develop the Dewey Decimal System.

This is going to be great!

MOVIE SPECULATION!!

They've decided on a director for the upcoming Superman movie: Zack Snyder. Nolan and Goyer are still producing and writing the project. I'm still not sure about this project. On Nolan's end, I loved BATMAN BEGINS but hated THE DARK KNIGHT. With Snyder I loved 300 and that's the only movie of his I have to go on. I did not see WATCHMEN because I did not particularly enjoy the comic and had no urge to go see the a movie based on a comic that I didn't enjoy. Still I've seen some clips of it.

I don't know how well Snyder's stylized approach will work with the property, but I've got a bit of confidence that he'll do something pleasing. Its Nolan I'm worried about. Nothing this guy has made gives me a feeling that he'd be a good fit helming the Superman project. All of his movies that I've seen are visually appealing, but are pretty dark affairs. That's not the sensibility I'm comfortable with when looking at a character like Superman. Of course he could really surprise me and make a great and inspiring piece.

So, we've got another time will tell situation. I'm really hoping to be pleasantly surprised.

TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!!

A company is getting closer to making a commercial jetpack. This is good because the one I've been building from the kit I order from the back of that old AVENGERS comic isn't looking to promising. Really this thing isn't a "jetpack" so much as an "enginepack", however "jetpack" sounds much much cooler.

Of course you'll probably need a license for the thing and have to file flight plans to use it, oh, and there's of course the fact that most of use will never be able to afford it. Kinda takes the shiny off a little bit.

I'll probably never be in a position to be able to afford on of those things. Still, if I'm sitting around being old and crotchety, waving my cane at the neighborhood kids and telling them to stay the hell off my lawn, and I look up to randomly see someone someone streaking across the sky with their jetpack...

Bah. I'll probably be all bitter and pissed off that I didn't have one too.

Odds are this won't get too far with the public. There's probably be some outcry that its not environmentally friendly because *GASP* is runs on gasoline. Freaking hippies expect us the fly using fairy dust, and that's not going to happen because the same hippies will get torqued off because we'd be exploiting the fairies' natural resources.

MUSIC!!

I'm feeling like some punk this week. And not that crap that they try to pass off as punk nowadays on the radio.



Wow, that was a lot of stuff. Alrighty, I'll see y'all on Friday. I'm going to go build a fence now.

Bieber's Cowboy Caterpillar Crisis!

Great Caesar's Ghost, its Friday, July 30, 2010, and I'm talking weird smack lately.

Putting the kids to bed...

"If you don't get in those beds and stay in them so help me I'll whup you both until you have to repeat pre-school!"

Dealing with cashiers...

Cashier: "How are you today, sir?"

Me: "I dunno. I had all these plans for today, but some guy rocketed to Earth as a baby from a doomed planet keeps screwing up everything? That ever happen to you?"

COMIX!!

Right now Lex Luthor is so much cooler than Superman its not even funny. ACTION COMICS #891 was the read of the week. Bobby Fresh was stunned that he was picking up a Superman book this week when I saw him at Kings. We all told him "Its not a Superman book. Its a Lex Luthor book and its awesome." Paul Cornell is just kicking complete ass on this. Right now the main Superman title is boring as hell, and really needs to take some cues from what's going on here. While Straczynski has Superman walking around dealing with "real world issues" and being kind of a douche about it, Cornell has Luthor matching wits Mister Mind in a COWBOY CATERPILLAR CRISIS! It a completely wild and all out fun tour through the brain of Lex Luthor, as well as offering a bit of a tribute to the entire Bruce Wayne bouncing through time bit. Read it, because its awesome. And Robo-Lois rules.

Quick note to anybody who wants to step up with an argument about how Straczynski's run is superior because of the realism it brings to storytelling and the intellectual content: Fuck off. If I want realism, I'll watch the news, or the History Channel. These are comic books. Superhero comic books. I want big damn action! I want asses kicked! I want evil thwarted, or at least being really freaking fun to watch. I don't want a guy who wrestled the King Angel of the Bullhost and sang the God of Evil into submission walking down the street being utterly pedestrian. OK, that note wasn't so quick.

BATMAN: THE RETURN OF BRUCE WAYNE #4 hit this week as well. The mystery of the time traveling Dark Knight goes gun-slinging as he goes up against Jonah Hex. Each issue has dealt with Wayne reclaiming an different aspect of what made him Batman. This time it dealt with his grit and dogged determination to see evil doers brought to justice. The veil is lifted a bit as we see some more clues as to The Black Glove's role in things. There are two things bothering me. Both are minor. First, we haven't seen anything of Rip's Rescue Rangers in two issues and last we left them the universe was ending. Second is the art. Not that I don't like Georges Jeanty's artwork it's just that there's so much going on and a lot of it is visual clues that I wish there was one artist to make picking up on things easier. But the tale moves onward, and so does Wayne, which may be a good thing because those super villains ain't resting while he's gone.

Speaking of Batman, DETECTIVE COMICS #867 started a new storyline which has me hooked in. David Hine is a bit hit and miss with me, but when he's got me, he's got me good. This story has nothing to do with the Morrison "The Once and Future Batman" story, so readers can jump right in. I dig it because there's a team-up with The Question that makes it look really natural like it happens all the time. I also like that we've got Scott McDaniel drawing Batman again. I loved his NIGHTWING run, and his art isn't to everyone's taste, but I've always thought he was a great fit in the Bat-corner of the DCU.

On to unpleasantness. I read WONDER WOMAN #601 so now you don't have to. This story is crap. Its actually worse than the Jodi "Derp, I dunno how to pump gas, derp" Piccoult run. Its like a really lousy Elseworlds story. And I know this isn't permanent and once this runs a ways things will be set right with WW's proper origin restored, but really we don't need to see the character drug through the gutter for people to realize how special the character is. Last issue Gail Simone gave us "Keep faith, trust to love, fight with honor, but fight to win." This month Straczynski gives us "I'm going to kill them. I'm going to kill all of them." That's on top of Hyppolyta committing suicide by jumping to a fire and burning to death as she cursed her enemies, and a thug dressed a clown in an ice cream truck expressing a desire to shoot a little boy.

Shame on you J. Michael Straczynski. Shame on you for making me leave this comic which I used to support with every bit of my geek heart.

THE BIEBER REPLACEMENT!!

Sitting around the house the other day I did some channel surfing. The loin spawn were distracted by toys so I was happy to watch something besides PBS. I landed on The Ellen Show where there was some kid on the piano getting ready to sing. People were cheering and young girls were going bonkers. The song was lame and ridiculous that some 11 year old was singing about a girl breaking his heart when he looks like he's still slightly worried about cooties. And of course he's coming out with an album. It quickly became obvious that this kid, Greyson Chance, was created in a lab in Hollywood to replace the aging Justin Bieber.

Let's face it, Bieber ain't getting any younger. He can't keep posing on those Tiger Beat covers forever. Heard a rumor he's actually driving now and this won't do. Won't be long until he's just another burned out has-been hanging onto his past as he's mistaken for a lesbian.

Chance has every advantage over Bieber. He made is big splash singing a Lady Gaga song so that's going to attract the weirdos thinking this kid has depth and soul because they think Lady Gaga music has some mysterious brilliance to it. He's got a much cooler name, which is totally wasted on a pop star and would better suite an action movie star or comic book character. Imaging preparing to due epic battle with Greyson Chance and then actually seeing the kid. It would be a bit of a let down. You prepare to do epic battle with Justin Bieber and you know just from the name that the battle is going to be less than epic. Much less.

AIRING ALL THE LAUNDRY

I dumped Facebook a while back and I'm really glad I did. More people's info got leaked to the public. Just remember this: anything you put on Facebook will be made available to public. Forget privacy settings. They're worthless. If there is something you don't want out in the public eye you're better off keeping it off the web altogether.

MUSIC!!

I'm going to continue to give you people a break from my taste in music and mine a little more from Pickle's Pantry Parlour! Enjoy.



That's it for today. Remember: TGIF. Tiny gnomes in fuchsia.

Batman is nicer than Hugo Chavez!

So much stuff! So little time! It's Friday, July 16, 2010 and I'm in charge of feeding virtual fish on Facebook for my wife and kids. It feels like I'm in a George Romero movie and Mark Zuckerberg has bitten my family and I'm waiting for them to turn.

COMIX!!

While it seems like everybody but me were able to get BIRDS OF PREY #3 and I'll have to wait until next week like a shmoe, I'll just have to make due.

BATMAN #701 and SUPERMAN #701 both hit this week, and I found myself pondering something I had not considered before: Is Batman a nicer guy than Superman now? The Batman issue is the story of what happened to Bruce Wayne between R.I.P. and FINAL CRISIS. The Superman issue is the official start of Straczynski's run. The Batman issue clicked big time with me because I'm reading all these thoughts that I had reading the arcs themselves coming from Bruce Wayne. There's an intense weight to the story despite the lack of big action. We know what's going to happen and I'm still pouring over the issue for clues as to possible connections between The Black Glove and Darkseid. The Superman issue is the start of a brand new story arc and unfortunately its horribly dull. It feels like a filler issue, a good one, but still filler. Frankly, if this is what's going to be going on for a year, then I'm out.

But back to my thoughts on who is a nicer guy. Superman gets back to Earth, and is now going to walk around and i guess talk with people or whatever. He just got back from being in space for months. He's got to be a crappiest husband ever. That or Lois Lane is just the most patient and forgiving woman ever to be put on the planet. He's pretty sanctimonious to his detractors. The little things he does like letting a fella know about a heart problem is nice, but over all can't save the story.

Batman on the other hand just survived a serious attempt to take him out, and crawls out on a helicopter crash, and swims to a dock, and after all that he still makes time to have a kind word of the ex-prostitute that he arranged a legitimate job for. He makes sure to thank Alfred, Dick, and Tim before getting a well earned and hard fought for rest. And even though he's still working to unravel and set right the events of R.I.P. he sets that aside when Superman needs his help. Bruce Wayne: stand up dude.

Moving over to BATGIRL we got a really disturbing look at the origin of the Calculator. I thought this was supposed to be the 'fun' Bat-title. I guess fun came with an extra helping of creepy. What's really a kicker is that the calculator turns right around to give the Atom some grief in this week's back-up in ADVENTURE COMICS. Busy guy.

I also enjoyed some R.E.B.E.L.S. this week. Sure didn't take long for Starfire to get nekkid in this title. The unreal amount of hair she suddenly had to hide her orange naughty bits was downright laughable. But I'm still loving this book because for some reason I'm totally into space drama at the moment, and this book delivers it.

BATTLEGROUND: TWITTER!!

Its a hell of a thing when online battleground starts taking real life prisoners, but that's what happened in Venezuela. Seem that big ball of fun and kittens that is Hugo Chavez had a couple of people tossed in jail for making tweets criticizing Venezuelan banking practices. They have a law against being critical about such things. So, surprise Hugo Chavez is actually a scumbag. I hope you all can handle the shock.

So, there's a bit of a tweet counter insurgency going on. Philip DeFranco struck back on his YouTube show and encouraged his viewers to #HugoChavezSucks on Twitter. Makes me wonder if you'd get thrown in jail in Venezuela for doing that.

What we have to remember is that Venezuela does not have a lot of the freedoms other countries like the United States enjoy. DeFranco also noted in his show that some countries have banned Twitter altogether. This brings us to the idiocy that was the massive fail Everybody Draw Muhammad Day. Now, the anti Hugo Chavez e-campaign is in every way superior to EDMD. Its specifically targeted. The biggest flaw with EDMD was the collateral damage. It offended people who had done nothing wrong. It also forced some governments to remove tools of free speech which was pretty much the opposite of what EDMD claimed to be trying to accomplish. The Chavez thing is simple. If you think he sucks, hashtag it on Twitter.

But what if Chavez blocks twitter in Venezuela? Well, then it won't be there for him to use to throw people in jail. Also, there's so way for him to justify that action without looking like a butthurt little e-girl.

DANCE HARD!!

For the second week in a row a contestant on SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE has had to pull out of the competition due to injury. For those who have not seen the program the performances are incredibly athletic displays of dance. Its very demanding and it seems like every season the competitors and choreographers push themselves to try to top the previous seasons. Its insane what these people do with their bodies, and frankly everyone who gives a damn about performing arts should be watching this show. I got asked today "What the difference between it and Dancing with the Stars?" and the answer is simple: it is far and away superior in terms of the level of technique and performance that is displayed.

Here's hoping the rest of the competitors stay healthy and I wish Alex and Ashley speedy recoveries.

TEAM BUFFY STRIKES!!

MUSIC!!

Was listening to the album on the way home from Karate. Love the album, love the song.

POP QUIZ!!

1: How much does Hugo Chavez suck?

2: Who would you rather have dinner with: Superman or Batman?

That's it for today. I know there's some big announcements coming up in comics so I'm going to keep my ear to the ground and see if I can find out some things. Might have some cool stuff for Sunday. See y'all then.

Manny Fresh is OK to go for Nuclear Fusion

It's Friday, June 25th despite what the time stamp on the blog might be telling you. The internet is full of lies! Here's something to read while you're at the office pretending to work and hoping to grow psychic powers that'll make time move faster so you can start the weekend.

BATTLEGROUND: TWITTER!!

Here in the Hampton Roads area of Virginia we have one afternoon radio show that dominates all others, and that is The Mike and Bob Show. They've been around over ten years now and there's been many changes over those ten years and different voices have joined Mike Powers and Bob Fresh in entertaining people. The most recent addition in the broadcast booth is a long time listener of the show and an old friend of Mike and Bob: Manny Fresh. He's nowhere near as polished as Mike, Bob or their engineer Little Nick Chappell on the microphone, but he does bring many things to the table. He has the ability to find a lot of things really fast on the internet, so if the guys need some info in mid topic, Manny can usually bring it up in a matter of minutes. Also Manny is a proponent and perpetrator of weird sex, which now that the rest of the guys are all married somebody has to have despicably entertaining stories to inflict upon the listening audience.

But not all are fans of Manny Fresh. And as Manny is pretty savvy with social media, that is how his chief detractor has struck. Oh yes, "Manny Fresh Sucks" on Twitter has began his assault upon the portly Filippino and has gotten a few followers mostly, I assume, in form of the husbands of many of the women Manny has bedded. This quickly got Manny and the show's attention, and has sparked a counter assault. Manny Fresh Great at the time of this writing has more followers than Manny Fresh Sucks proving that either the Manny Fresh Sucks guy is either completely off base in his viewpoint or isn't trying hard enough.

And like the Twilight fandom conflict in which fans have divides into factions of Team Edward and Team... um... whoever that other weird looking dude is, a middle ground has sprung up. Unlike the Team Buffy faction of the twilight nerdom which wants to just off both the weirdos, this little group doesn't have any really strong feelings towards Manny and just thinks he's alright. It should be noted that the shows hosts follow this third faction. You have to keep your bets hedged in these internet wars. And for those who desire a bit more street cred in your not really caring one way or the other, there's this group. There is also a Twitter account supposedly for Manny's Mom, but I steered clear of that, because I've just listed five different Twitter accounts and that's my limit of mentioning twitter accounts that don't have anything to do with me.

So here's the question: how many of these accounts is Manny Fresh actually behind? We know one is because that's his personal account. Manny is Alright was started by another show regular, The Hulkster. He said he didn't create Manny Fresh Great. But the kicker is this: what if he started Manny Fresh Sucks? Or possibly he could have an accomplice. The Manny Fresh Sucks guy hasn't bad mouthed the show and claims to be a fan. He just doesn't like Manny, supposedly. Could this be a cunning rouse, a plot if you will, to create a false controversy? It wouldn't be the first time someone has used the internet to play a cunning shadow game. If Manny did do this, he'll see real quick who his friends are and who aren't. Manny could theoretically do it. Like I said, he very computer savvy.

Or it could just be one nut with an axe to grind.

Time will tell...

SCIENCE!!

Not quite of the mad variety, but when a dude gets up in the morning and says to himself, "Ya know what? After I grab some bagels I'm going to build me a fusion reactor." and then he does it, it really puts a damper on things when I want to bad mouth the school system. This is of course quite a step up from the Boy Scout years ago who built a reactor in his parents shed, and I still think the mad little bastard should have gotten a glow in the dark merit badge. I'd love to be the reporter there in Brooklyn hanging out on the sidewalk asking people what they thought about the dude building and operating a reactor over by the deli. It was New York of course, so most of them were cool with it. Its Baseball season so they've got other things to worry about.

Cue the Beastie Boys! No Sleep 'til Fusion!

COMIX!!!

I'm a big fan of Garth Ennis's BATTLEFIELDS series, and he started his newest story arc "Motherland" this week. "Motherland" is a follow up to his previous story "The Sky Witches". Its about female Russian pilot in World War II. Excellent read and it sparked up a few questions in the Nozz compound. Were there really women fighter pilots in World War II? Ennis knows his stuff when writing about World War II, but just to make sure I did a little hunting and found this article. If you find the comic and aren't already reading it, give it a go. And if you don't give a damn about comics, but are a history buff, check it out. This was my non-spandex reading of the week and it was damn good.

Also this week SUPERMAN #700 hit the stands. Yes, just one week after BATMAN #700, Superman had himself a centennial issue. It was quite different from the Batman issue in that it had multiple stories from different creative teams. Some of them I really liked. One of them I thought was flat out terrible. Like Batman, Superman is having a lot of really big storyline stuff going on in his comics, and this issue does deal with them. Its a transition piece to be sure. One story serves as a wrap up to the previous story. Another gives us a glimpse at the direction the book may be taking. It has a few guest stars. All and all, it didn't really thrill me. I want a bit more from my big number comics.

Also this week, Bruce Wayne continues his magic temporal carpet ride in THE RETURN OF BRUCE WAYNE. This time he's facing Blackbeard the Pirate who is on a treasure hunt and is certain the treasure is in a certain cave. The story continues to be really cool. However, there is one gripe. This series is featuring a different artist in every issue. Well, last issue Hal Jordan was trapped at the end of time with rest of the time jockey bat search party. This issue he was sitting in the JLA headquarters, in a meeting. I'd love to say that it was Kyle Rayner and the lighting was hitting his hair in a particular way, but no, it was an editorial slip. They happen, and this one is a little more understandable than some of the previous ones, but in a book where there's so many visual clues as to what's going on its a bit jarring. I'm scouring the issue for clues and spot something that definitely isn't right, but its not intentionally not right. That or one of the Hal Jordans is an imposture, and hopefully both will die horribly just to make sure we got rid of the correct one.

NERD ROCK!!

Its time for some OK Go!

Great musicians and also their drummer it pretty formidable in staring contests.

That's it for Friday. Until Sunday I'm going to be trying to figure out how it is if someone hands in their resignation, and the boss accepts that resignation, people still say the dude got fired. And since I'm pondering things, you should ponder stuff too...

POP QUIZ!

Do you think Manny Fresh is behind the Twitter War?

If your neighbor was building a fusion reactor in the garage, what would you do?

Do you think Dan was totally robbed in the staring contest?

See y'all Sunday.

Why I'm not going to see this movie, yet again.

I'm not going to see that new THE KARATE KID movie, because there's no Karate in it. I've been told, "But it looks good." There's a lot of people who look excited by this flick. It does look like a decent movie, its all Kung-Fu and calling it "Karate" anything insults my intelligence and is misleading in an attempt to cash in on nostalgia.

Let's but it in comic book terms. Let's say the new Superman movie comes out, relaunching the franchise. They retell Superman's origin, but they update it a bit. Sure he rockets to Earth from the planet Krypton and is found and adopted by the Kents which of course inadvertently causing a hole in his soul. The Kents are loving parents, and are fixing that hole in his soul when one day, before his powers develop, the Kents decide they want to go to the movies.

Well, it's tough economic times in Smallville and they get mugged after coming out of the theater. Jonathan and Martha Kent are both shot and killed as poor Clark can only look on. Afterward, Clark travels the world thanks to a huge insurance payout and the farm was doing well. He learns how to fight crime and during this time his super powers kick in. He returns home to wage his one man war on crime. Aided by his faithful farm hand, Al, Clark discovers a large cave underneath the Kent farm. Inspired by the creatures he finds in the cave, he takes on a costumed identity and becomes Batman.

But it's still a Superman movie, right? Superman fans should flock to see it, right?

And no, I'm not trying to give Christopher Nolan any ideas.

Nolan takes on Superman. Aw crap.

OK, Christopher Nolan is batting .500 with his Batman movies. BATMAN BEGINS was really great with a great balance of action, story and charm. THE DARK KNIGHT was two murders away from being 'terrorist porn', as a good friend put it whose name I will not mention because I'll be taking the ire today. I know saying something bad about THE DARK KNIGHT is considered high blasphemy in geek circles, but Batman getting the crap kicked out of him for three hours by the Joker was about as enjoyable as watching someone kick a dog over and over again.

But there's going to be a third movie of course because THE DARK KNIGHT made an obscene amount of money, fanboys think its the greatest movie ever made (hell some website put it in the top 10 of all time, of course they neglected GONE WITH THE WIND), and leaving the series in such a depressing state that the last film did would be horrible. Nolan said recently that the third movie will be his last and next up he'll be taking on Superman. So Nolan's Batman will be a trilogy featuring Bruce Wayne realizing that he's been trapped in the Nolan-verse due to the Omega Sanction, and while it's a set up from being trapped in ALL-STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN THE BOY WONDER, it's time to go sit in a cave in prehistory since quite frankly that would be a refreshing change of pace for the character.

What the hell is up with me and run-on sentences this morning?

Onward.

So here's where I'm disturbed, by news, not in the usual way. SUPERMAN RETURNS was a flop. Of course it was, it was playing off of movies that came out twenty years ago. Also, it was boring and in parts insulting to my intelligence. Obviously the franchise needs a fresh start. However, when I see statements with the whole "going in a direction no one has before with the character" bit I'm left shaking my head. I don't panic, because that's stupid. No one can make me see the movie. It's not going to fundamentally change how the character is handled forever and forever. Its just a movie.

I'm disturbed because I'm going to have to hear about this damn thing. Geeks are going geek out and, Heaven help me, I got a lot of geeks surrounding me in my life. If Nolan brings the same sensibilities to Superman that he did to the Batman movies and MEMENTO then its going to be a crapfest. I'm not waving a doom and gloom banner. I'm not saying that Nolan has no chance of bringing something fresh and good to the table. What I am saying is that what works for Batman does not work for Superman every time. Nolan did say that he did not want to try to connect the two characters and that's fine. What we don't want to see is Superman doing the grim and gritty thing. It just doesn't work.

Of course maybe Nolan is going to do something fresh with the movies and actually have Superman throw down hard with a decent threat. That's why SUPERMAN II is the best of the series. He had to face something that could give him a good fight. They'll probably have Lex Luthor as the villain, which is fine, as long as he's got power armor that puts Ironman's to shame.

Now we just wait and see.

The DC Universe as a Living Metafictional Entity

Grant Morrison stated that he intended to prove with his series FINAL CRISIS that the DCU is a living thing. He also said he intended to have sex with it, but that's besides the point. So, was Morrison serious about the DCU being a living thing or was it mad ramblings meant to sell books? I believe it's the former. So let's examine the DCU and through it the super hero genre.

The Super hero genre and the DCU in Three Dimensions

Now, it is said of super heroes that the two ends of the spectrum are Superman and Batman and every else is somewhere in between.

Superman<---------all heroes------------="" other="" the="">Batman

There's a bit of a problem here. It's flat. Nobody likes flat fiction. That's its own problem. It's a problem relating to this subject in that nothing exists two-dimensionally. We need a three-dimensional model for this thing to exist properly.

Through this necessity we can examine the super hero genre and the parts that comprise it. The DCU offers prime examples of these three dimensions and through them some insight into the genre.

This diagram is simplistic of course, but it makes for a decent base to move from. Let's go through these dimensions briefly.

Superman represents the science, or more aptly science fiction, in this equation. A being from another planet, and a futuristic one at that. He is also considered one of the most powerful characters in comics. His nickname "The Man of Tomorrow" invokes the image of hero performing fantastic deeds in a world we can barely image, but is getting closer every day.

Wonder Woman is a direct link to mythology with her origins and powers stemming from Greek Myths. This is magic. This is the unexplainable. This it the pool from which the genre sprang from. Superman was not the first super hero. Odysseus, Gilgamesh, Arthur Pendragon, the Monkey King and many other preceded him by centuries. Wonder Woman is the representative of the past.

Batman is the best of humanity. He has taken personal tragedy and used it as a catalyst to transform himself into an ideal. His skills are vast and varied, encompassing multiple physical and academic disciplines. He has taken the lessons of his past, applied them to his constant preparation for the future and thus made himself incredibly formidable in the present.

So we have out three dimensional construct. Time to put it into motion.

Applying the Fourth Dimension

The Fourth Dimension is time. Nothing stays static. We are all moving forward on the timeline. When we are discussing movement in relation to super heroes, there's only one character that exemplifies this:

The Flash moves the genre. We have had the Golden Age, Silver Age and the modern Age of comics. The Flash has been key to each transition. The creation of Barry Allen marked the beginning of the Silver Age. Barry Allen meeting his Golden Age predecessor Jay Garrick introduced the concept of the "Multiverse". The concept of the Multiverse was shelved during the 1985-86 series "Crisis on Infinite Earths" which included the death of Barry Allen. This series also transitioned the genre out of the Silver Age.

With Barry's death, we saw Wally West take up the role. This was the first time a "sidekick" has moved on to permanently graduate up. Wally West as a character was also at the center of DCU moving past the 90s grim and gritty trend. Writer Mark Waid spent the 90s taking Wally West, who was a well written and very unlikable character, and turning him into a model of character development. This was the beginning of a mini Renaissance for the genre which led to Waid and Morrison launching JLA. The exploits of the heroes took on a scope that was usually reserved for major "events", and this was due to amazing writers pushing their way to the forefront. This was made easier by The Flash, courtesy of Mark Waid, paving the road with a red blur and lightning strike.

The Imagination of the Imaginary

Grant Morrison wrote in "Batman R.I.P." that the Fifth Dimension was Imagination. This brings us to a character that can create anything he imagines.

Green Lantern like the Flash has had different characters taking the name. The common element to these characters is that each had a ring that could manifest anything they imagine. What is fun to note here is that the three main characters to take one the role of Green Lantern also represent each of the three dimensions I wrote of earlier. The Golden Age character was Alan Scott, and his ring was powered by magic. In the Silver Age, Hal Jordan received his ring from an alien race. Kyle Rayner took up the role and although he received his ring from the same aliens he brought out a different aspect to the character in that he was an artist. It was his humanity that set him apart from the others.

So, could the Green lantern Rings have a connection to the Fifth Dimension that is home to the likes of Mister Mxyzptlk and Bat-Mite? Well, that's speculation for another time, but the possibility is there. It's fairly evident in the mechanics of the Rings. Previously, when charged, the rings could create nearly anything for twenty-four hours. Currently, it is usage to depletes the charge. Perhaps the rings tap 5th dimensional energy and the process and mechanics of tapping the source has changed.

Speaking of Mxysptlk and Mat-Mite, since the Fifth Dimension is imagination, were they created by characters within the DCU? Did Superman creat Mxyzptlk? Time to move on.

Identify the Vampiric Space God in the line-up, Please.

FINAL CRISIS crystalized the concept of something outside the genre preying upon the genre. The Multiverse changed them and then they changed the Multiverse. The Fouth Wall was broken and we were introduced to the Fifth Wall. We are shown a mechanism containing 52 universes, each containing stories. These stories influenced the Moniters, which in turn had influence in the 52.

The Multiverse or 52 is the in comic representation of the superhero genre. It is something created, which has taken on it's own life and now influences the culture. It nourishes young minds and imaginations, only to have some of those minds grow up to contribute new stories to it. It's a symbiotic relationship. The genre has a will of it's own. It has a voice speaking to us in the gutters of the comic page. It has reached out beyond it's original medium to capture new minds and imaginations.

It grows. It consumes. Yes, it even poops.

The DC Universe is at the heart of the super hero genre, and the DC Universe is alive.

Every/nobody's right/wrong.

Things are moving in an interesting direction concerning some characters over at DC. It was something that I was aware of, but had not thought too much about until Linda made mention of it. DC has had its continuity rebooted a few times. This allows some things to get cleaned up that were overly complicated and also allows some idea to get a fresh start. However it's getting interesting now in that there's a heavy nostalgia going on. Older characters that have been pretty much written off to obscurity or even killed off are getting a second chance to shine. Sometimes it works (Booster Gold, Nemesis) and sometimes it doesn't (Hal Jordan, Barry Allen). But there are other characters that have been altered with these reboots and taken in new directions. But with this wave of nostalgia the previous continuites are being considered again, and not just as a reference as to what went on before. The different takes on characters are all being considered in current usage.

The first to show this was Hawkman. Hawkman for a very long time was a continuity nightmare. At one point he was a reincarnated Egyptian King. Then he was from an entirely different planet. Geoff Johns married these two concepts quite well. This was back when he was getting a good reputation for plugging continuity holes.

Well, Johns is still doing this and most recently in the two characters that Linda made mention of: Brainiac and Toyman. These two Superman villains have had radically different interpretations over the years. Johns took the same approach with both characters. All the different interpretations have been minions or robots created by the "real" character. Not a bad concept, but it got used in the same comic twice inside of a year. Bad form.

Grant Morrison had a different take, and he laid the groundwork for it way back in his JLA run in dealing with Joker. That's when he introduced the notion of "super sanity" in which the character constantly reinvents himself on a regular basis as a response to the world around him. This is how we can have the same character be a relatively harmless mischievous prankster in one story, a criminal mastermind in the next, then a bad dog sociopathic killer, and then back to prankster. This makes every interpretation of the character from his creation decades ago a valid one.

Morrison did something similar with Batman, but that's less to do with the character and more to do with stories that he was involved in. Morrison went with the notion at every story every published about Batman happened. Everything from super villains, to mobsters, to weird rainbow creatures, to Bat-Mite.

This is an interesting difference. Johns took all the differences and tried to line them up to make them make sense together. Morrison took all the differences and accepted them wholesale. Of course this makes reading the Morrison stuff a lot trickier, but the payoff was worth it. It also served to keep the characters moving forward in interesting new directions and made for great stories.

Nostalgia's fine, but living in the past gets you no where. I'll be following the writers that drive new narratives, not the ones catering to those who think comics should be just as they were back when everyone wore bell bottoms.

Online presence immitating comics, or 52 becomes 30!

So, while i enjoy discussing comics online there comes a time when I need a break. This allows my own opinions to form without outside input, and prevents myself form being integrated into a weird e-hivemind. Now, the main place I discuss comics if Gaiaonline and specifically this thread. This thread was started by our good buddy over at Teatime Brutality based mainly off of my insane ramblings and is moderated by our good friend Linda whose comments have popped up in here from time to time and has contributed art to Tales of Night Life. What makes this little sabbatical from e-discussion interesting is that Linda and Richard are doing one at the same time, so for the month of September that thread has to do without input from the three of us.

This has of course been compared to the comic 52 as the three of us comprise the Holy Trinity of everything that is good about the internet, with the exception of porn, to which every last one of you out there should be grateful to us and send us cookies.

What's fun about this is the number of ways this ends up paralleling the events of the comic. It was a 52 issue long story in which Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman were all out of action. So how do we three line up with DC's trinity? Pretty well actually.

In terms of fandom, it's very simple. Linda is a huge Super-fan, with her collection of Supergirl memorabilia and artwork. Richard is the Bat-fan, which is obvious from reading his blog. I'm the Wonder-fan, because while I like both Superman and Batman, I'm fascinated on many levels with the character and having read the runs of both Greg Rucka and Gail Simone have no trouble gushing on at length about her.

Going a step further is where things get a little sticky. Linda is still obviously the "Super" part of the trinity in that she's still there on the site, but just not contributing. Much like Clark Kent was around but wasn't very active. However, Clark wasn't active due to his powers being gone. Linda still maintains her powers, and is currently controlling the weather. It has been said that Linda may indeed be "over-powered" that that makes her a less interesting character. I have to say that those making these assertions often speak from ignorance having never read Linda.

Which brings us to myself and Richard. Linda has told me that I must be Batman, having removed myself from active discussion to process my experiences and media inputs to emerge later to become a better rounded individual with a back-up personality and that Richard is Wonder Woman since he broke that one guy's neck for insisting that BATMAN #666 was not canon. Now to be fair, the guy did have it coming.

But is this accurate? Richard is indeed repairing back to Panda Narbat for his intellectual sabbatical and while he may not be sitting in a cave I'm sure he'd have no objection to sitting blissfully in a park, contemplating Doctor Who with the shape provided by Lucy Pinder's bosoms keeping the harsh sunlight from him. I'm currently not wanted by any Government agencies to the point where the jerks won't even return my calls anymore.

So, while it is difficult to pin down which of us is indeed an Amazon, it's easy to draw comparisons between both Richard and myself to the Dark Knight. Obviously we both have butlers and young sidekicks. What is interesting is that I seem to be representing the pre-52 Batman being slightly paranoid and obvious being teh gratest fiter on teh intarwub. Total e-ninja, but not in the accurate comparison, only in the BS Hollywood ninja sense. Richard represents the post-52 Batman with research, rationality and hope with his meticulous study of the character and events surrounding him. Also Richard has prep-time and is invincible due to it. It's also popular opinion that there is no real Richard, it's a bunch of people, much like the idea among Gotham criminals and citizens that there's an army of Batmen. So this begs the question: after this sabbatical, will I become Richard? Will Richard move on to be stuck in the middle of his mum leading an ill conceived and poorly written assault on America as told by Jodi Piccoult? These are questions on time will answer.

Of course after this is over and we've returned to our discussions in that thread we will likely have to deal with the Richard identity thing. This will most likely happen as his illegitimate son that he had with the daughter of an eco-terrorist shows up, he'll be lured to mansion with many international versions of Richard in an attempt to kill them all, which will be the first overt step by the devil to destroy Richard. All the while an evil woman with a really obvious name will be attempting to seduce and destroy him. After defeating the devil, Richard will be dropped through a series of websites like Gaiaonline, but much suckier, and end up in 2003 Go-Gaia and everyone will think he's dead, but really he's in a website with much less items for his avatar. This will of course prompt many people to try to be Richard.

I'd make many similar comments about Linda in comparison to Superman, but I doubt he'd want her life to be anywhere conceivably near to anything Geoff Johns has ever written.

There you go. A full month's worth of nerd-dom all in one post.