Batman's Long Form Birth Certificate is FAKE!!

Yeah, that's right. Its Friday, April 29, 2011, its all about the little blue pill, and this is The Side. My Yahoo account got hacked, and my e-mail sent out a bunch of advertisements for Viagra. I got a bunch of e-mails like this as well so it seems like it was a pretty decent sized hack. Oh well, considering what it could have been sending out I probably got off light.

It the news, people are getting married. So now the drones that just drool over royal stuffs will have a new girl to get weird over. I remember when Princess Diana died and people were saying she was the greatest humanitarian in the world. Meanwhile, and without much fanfare Mother Theresa passed away a couple of days earlier.

In other news, Obama finally released his long form birth certificate, which he should have done when the Clintons asked for it back during the campaign. Some people are irked that this is the an invasion of the Pop-Star-in-Chief's privacy, but the document that he had released was one that would say he's from Hawaii if he had been adopted into the country. I know this because my short form birth certificate lists my adoptive parents as my parents with no mention of my biological parents. The document released is an obvious forgery, as while ol Barry was indeed born in Hawaii, his real middle name is actually "Jeb".

COMIX!!

Kicking things off with BATMAN INCORPORATED #5. This book is getting better and better with every issue. The spy game is in full effect with a distinctive super twist. Batwoman's case leads her to team up with British Superspy The Hood and that leads them directly into Batman and Gaucho's path. Big team up, big action, and a ton of utter coolness. Morrison does a great job with Batwoman, and the interaction between her and Bruce is a joy. The old Bruce would have been a prick about her wearing a Bat, but the new and improved Bruce accepts completely in the field and works great with her. Her reaction to learning he's the original Batman was such a nice touch. Kate Kane is such a fun character when handled by talented writers. As for this Hood fella, I ain't so sure about him. Sure, he's all smooth and British, but he fell for the old "I've got an orbiting death ray aimed at you" bit. Tsk. The Leviathan case grows deeper, and we also get to see the Batman of Africa! This book is packed!

Big milestone this week as ACTION COMICS #900 hit the stands. Superman returns to actually doing something in the conclusion of "The Black Ring" epic. Cornell really brought it home balancing out big action with all the really great character moments that have made his run a real treat. This issue also ties into the whole Doomsday crossover that's been going on. I haven't been following it, but I wasn't lost either, so its all good. The issue is 96 pages with a bunch of back ups, but the Cornell story is the best among them. Paul Dini has an interesting little story in there as well. Geoff Johns gave Gary Frank an excuse to draw the Legion of Super-Heroes hanging out in Clark and Lois's place. There was a depressing story about the spaceship the brought Superman to Earth being constructed. Then there's David Goyer's story about Superman going to iran for the protests, and letting us all know that he's officially renouncing his American citizenship. First off, Superman is not an American citizen, Clark Kent is. Second, the bit about the American Way not being enough anymore: real classy, Goyer. So sad to see the douchebag Superman from the JMS SUPERMAN run being carried over. So the book is worth getting if you've been following the awesome Lex Luthor epic, but the back-up stories (aside from Dini's) are skippable.

RED ROBIN #22 dropped me into the middle of a crossover I didn't know was going on. Seems the religious fanatics behind Azrael are planning on destroying Gotham led by a very powerful Meta-human, The Crusader. Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, and Selina kyle are all being tested on personal levels to see if Gotham is worthy of being spared. I didn't care much for this issue. Freddie Williams II has never been an artist that I've cared for, but to his credit this issue is some of his better work. Its seems that even though Tim Drake is a great guy and does nothing but good by the people around him, the nutbag Crusader sees him as unworthy because he's not religious. I hate characters like this because there's some people out there that think most Christians think this way, so I'm hoping he gets a serious comeuppance. Wasn't a terrible issue, but I wasn't into it.

Finishing on a strong note DETECTIVE COMICS #876 in the start of a new case, and artist, Jock, returns to the title. There's a murder with Tony Zucco's daughter in the middle of it. I'd normally feel that this is a bit weak in having Dick Grayson have to help the daughter of the man who killed his parents, but (and this is a big but) it plays out incredibly well in a scene of Dick and Jim Gordon in which Jim talks about his son returning. So much has been going on with this and its the huge elephant in the room. So the question is front and center: how far can an apple fall from a tree? Well paced and well written stuff here. Scott Snyder sinks a great hook in this new mystery that reaffirms my view that this is one of the best written comics going today. Loved it.

MUSIC!!!

What's sad is that after listening to this beautiful song on YouTube I was informed that Lady Gaga was next. Never before had I clicked away from YouTube so quickly.



That's it for today. Lots of Karate stuff on tap for me tomorrow, and I'll see y'all Sunday. Just remember: if you are watching the royal wedding, somewhere out there, I'm pointing and laughing at you.

Needing to know about comic

Its Friday, April 1, 2011, I feel pretty guilty, and this is The Side. Anyone who reads this thing on the regular knows I'm pretty opinionated, and there's certain folks I give a hard time to, but typically I don't genuinely wish ill on people. So when I found out that Lady Gaga passed away yesterday due to sudden and extreme anaphylaxis brought on by something in one of her outfits, I wasn't gleeful about it. I'm sure she'll have many devastated fans, and I hope her friends and family can find some comfort in this time of grief.

COMIX!!

ACTION COMICS #899 starts things off for us this week. We have another fill in artist for Pete Woods, which is a bit of a bummer, but Jesus Merino is pretty sharp. This is the issue that brings together everything that has been going on in this storyline. We've been treated to a highly entertaining world tour of the DCU with Lex Luthor being an incredibly engaging protagonist with his sidekick, Robo-Lois. There's been a lot of questions as to what was going on. What were this black sphere's that Luthor was questing after? What would happen when and if he got all of them? Did he know we was walking into a trap set by Brainiac? Would Robo-Lois make it out of this story, because we all really love her and hope she does? Who is Mister Mind working for? We get all the answers here. How good has this story been? I've gotten every issue and I'm still going to be buying the trade when it comes out because I want all this awesomeness in one easily to grab place.

Onward to JIMMY OLSEN #1 which collects the back-ups from ACTION COMICS and completes the story. This book came about in a weird way. ACTION COMICS was serving up Paul Cornell's Lex Luthor epic and with Nick Spencer's Jimmy Olsen story as an awesome side dish. This back up story got some press because it officially introduced Chloe Sullivan from SMALLVILLE into official DCU canon. Dc stopped doing back-up in their books so they could do their $2.99 price cap (which I'm very grateful for since I am poor white trash). So, this story was going to be collected in the issue we have this week, but since them Nick Spencer signed exclusively with Marvel. So this comic is all about things DC isn't having anymore of. Which is unfortunate, because its really awesome. I had a conversation with some friends in that we determined that we like that Jimmy Olsen is just "That guy that these weird things happen to". That's all this is. Just a complete ton of completely weird stuff hitting one guy in the space of a week. If its gotten under your radar thus far, do yourself a favor and go buy this book.

DETECTIVE COMICS #875 continues the chilling tale concerning the return of Commissioner Gordon's son James. Scott Snyder and Francesco Francavilla outdo themselves here. And old murder mystery with Gordon's family right in the middle of it as years later a criminal's confession may mean Jim Gordon had made the worst decision of his life. We don't see much of Batman here, but frankly that's fine. This is a double-tough detective story, and Francavilla settings the tone in amazing fashion. This is such a pot boiler. Its sedated, and well paced, but absolutely engaging. Brilliant stuff.

TEEN TITANS #93 introduces new hero Solstice to the team. Nicola Scott is back doing the pencils and its great to have her back. Red Robin leads to team to investigate the disappearance of Solstice's parents in some ancient ruins. Krul is being really good about not falling into the trap of putting Raven in the middle of every story she's involved in, and that's great. Solstice is a very nice character, but a bit of an "Anti-Raven". Her power set and open attitude make her a polar opposite, but at the same time she's very charming and a nice cast addition. Krul's definitely improved his game since last year's Arsenal debacle. Glad to see it.

Let's wrap things up with ZATANNA #11. Jamal Igle jumps on board to help wrap up the case of the murderous puppeteer. I love this guy's work. Its like this week knew i was going to be disappointed that Pete Woods wasn't on Action, so it gave me Igle to help sooth me. Paul Dini continues to please. This is really a rock solid book, and is doing a great job at establishing Zee away from ensemble casts. I'm looking forward to seeing where things will be going now that Brother Night has returned.

MUSIC!!!

Great tune.



That's all for today. I'll see y'all Sunday, and do hope that Lady Gaga can rest in peace.

Cornell is Selling What Tomorrow Means

OSU! Its Friday, March 18, 2011, I'm as ready as I'm going to be, and this is The Side. With so much being afoot I'm still trying to get back into fighting shape. My body has some thoughts of its own about this. Been training with my boat oar again, and I feel stronger than ever with it. I hadn't really used it for a couple years with my being out of the tournament circuit. Still, while practicing with it the other night while performing a technique that I've done hundreds of time I smacked my own leg with weapon and sent it flying out of my hands.

I wasn't hurt, but it did lay there on the dojo floor. Fortunately, it was undamaged. Still, I had to think "this does not bode well".

Can't focus on that right now. There's stuff to do, and comics to discuss!

COMIX!!!

KNIGHT AND SQUIRE #6 is the wrap up for this fun little mini-series. The Joker has come to London and has kidnapped Jarvis Poker, the British Joker. Along with that he's looking to wipe out all British Superheroes. Knight and Squire look to rally the forces and save Jarvis continuing the very clever use of media that we've seen throughout the series. One thing that does jump out at me is how differently Paul Cornell writes the Joker in this series than he did in The Joker's appearance in Cornell's ACTION COMICS. It very much follows the Morrison notion of Joker reinventing himself repeatedly. The series has been pretty whimsical, but took a nasty turn with this storyline. At the same time it still stays true to the characters and theme showing that these fun folk can get the job done even against one of the DCU's top villains.

R.E.B.E.L.S. #26 has Starro back on the march, and this time he's got a very pissed off Lobo to contend with. While it looks like he's struggling to get his act together in the face of the threat of the Main man, his invasion takes a creepy turn as in invades Rann. I'm bummed that this series is getting a axe because its rock solid and always entertains. This time around it gave me a pretty big chill with a certain splash page.

RED ROBIN #21 continues Tim Drake's battle against the Unternet. This storyline is pretty oddball for me because the notion of entering a virtual world mentally just seems dated. I almost expect old bearded Jeff Bridges to come strolling through a panel. Still, FabNic keeps me around every issue because he writes a very cool Tim Drake. His fight this issue with the Mad Men is cool. I do like that this book is playing off of some things that I dug in FINAL CRISIS, and things in BATMAN INC, but it feels like cool notions being explored in ways that aren't quite as cool as originally envisioned. Its not bad, but not as engaging as I'd like.

Let's move things on over to TINY TITANS #38. The underwater world is a strange and mysterious place, and Aqualad and Lagoon Boy discover just how strange it is. Baltazar and Franco have a bit of fun with the old TERROR TITANS series with this issue as our underwater heroes meet some underwater Titans. Despite being around since issue one, poor little Aqualad hasn't really been around all that much in the series, but he's a hoot in this. The series continues to be great for kids and fun for older fans who enjoy the parody bits that and slipped in.

Baltazar and Franco join up Mike Norton on YOUNG JUSTICE #2 which is adapted from the new Cartoon Network series. I've never seen the show, and comic doesn't make me feel like I'm missing much of anything. Its passable I guess, but its featuring Superboy, and this version of Superboy has all the personality of a chair. There's a lot more action than their was in the first issue (which isn't hard as someone kicking a soccer ball would be more action than the first issue) and not a bad twist towards the end, but first such a dull protagonist its difficult to get into the story. I really wanted to like this series, but I won't be picking up issue 3.

Let's wrap things up with 41 #2 Bob Frantz is joined by Alexander Singleton has he continues his freshman effort into comics. Frantz doesn't take the easy route with this book in that he's managing to write an ensemble cast and still make them all sound individual. Tricky for a new writer sometimes. He also let's us know something very important with this issue: these characters aren't safe. One of the team doesn't make it back from a mission and the others have to deal with that. Singleton's artwork is very tight, and he gives each character a unique look. The one thing that could be done to really improve this book is place a little intro caption by the characters when we first see them in the book. This was done in issue 1, but was missing here. Makes it a lot easier for new readers and with this being issue 2 everyone is still a new reader. Great book and I'm looking forward to issue three.

MUSIC!!!

Because my goal in life is to keep running.



Alright, big chop socky day tomorrow. I'm completing in the Petersburg Karate Open and we've got a hot UFC card for Saturday night. Expect a beatings wrap-up Sunday. See y'all then.

Unwinding with Nozz

Gooooooz fra ba! Its Friday, January 14, 2011, I'm decompressing, and this is The Side. You might be saying, "But Uncy Nozz, what about that horrible old bastard we all know who is currently pissed off at the world?" He's still here, but in a better mood. The general public has come to grips with the fact that last weeks shooting was the horrible act of one disturbed guy despite attempts to make it look like the fault of conservatives. It makes me feel better about people and the internet. The spin didn't work because of what this nutter had put online, and people who knew this guy backed it. Often the truth loses to the spin, but not this time.

There's been other things making me feel better too.

MY TOWN IS AWESOME

A little girl's microphone cut out while she was singing the National Anthem at a local hockey game. Potentially very embarrassing for her. Fortunately, we know our anthem well in this town.

COMIX!!

This has been a confusing week for many. The DC Covers look great, but they are making it a bit tricky to get books pulled. Still, I think i got about everything.

Let's lead off with BATGIRL #17. This book has really hit its stride and is a lot of fun to read. Sheph teams up with Damien, the kids we all hate and love to hate, to stop some kidnappers. There's a long history of Batgirls and Robins teaming up, but this is certainly a new dynamic. They can barely tolerate each other, but they work so well together. This is a great little stand alone issue, so if you're someone who digs current Batman stuffs, but haven't given this title a shot, grab it and say Damien made you do it. You can thank the pair of us later.

Sticking in the Bat-zone for now, we've got BATMAN AND ROBIN #19 and while this is a really solid story from Paul Cornell it has gotten a lot less fun with each issue. A lot is made of the impact Bruce Wayne has made in the lives of those around him and that impact is considered questionable. There's a nice twist on the character of Absence as she proves to be a lot more interesting than your typical Gotham nutter. What I don't like is how behind the eightball Dick and Damien seem to be the entirety of the story. It seems like they've spent the majority of this story being held hostage. Similarly Cornell's KNIGHT AND SQUIRE #4 was also a lot less fun than previously. That Shrike kid really rubbed me the wrong way to the point that I couldn't enjoy this comic and all the stuff going on with Cyril dealing with his armor and his past for the fact that I really hate that kid. Why he didn't get his ass kicked after his outburst is beyond me.

RED ROBIN #19 is a bit weird. For a while we've known about something called the "Unternet". Morrison introduced the idea in FINAL CRISIS as an evil internet that super villains use. Tim Drake has been looking to bust it up, but we finally see what the Unternet actually is and it seems to be DC's new online game if the villains all won. Their consciousnesses all plug into it and it somehow makes you more evil. Not what I was expecting, and pretty weird but despite it being an off kilter concept Fabian Nicieza navigates us through it pretty painlessly. Its not a bad concept, and I can see it getting used in interesting ways later in this and other series.

BIRDS OF PREY #8 continues the "Death of Oracle" storyline, but surprisingly we haven't found her back at the dawn of time yet. Ah well. The Calculator is looking to do away with oracle once and for all... again. We have a big fight in strip club. Batman is there, but doesn't steal the book, which is nice. This story seems to be setting the stage for the role oracle and the Birds will be playing with the Batman Incorporated storyline. That's not me saying that you have to pick up this book to keep up with what's going on with the bat-titles. Franky, you should be picking up this book because Gail Simone kicks ass on it.

Speaking of Gail Simone, SECRET SIX #29 wraps up the crossover from ACTION COMICS in which everybody dies horribly in an explosion. Or at least Ragdoll hopes everybody dies horribly in an explosion. Glad to see that Robo-Lois can take a lickin' and keep on tickin'. That sounds dirtier than it actually is considering Lex's relationship with Robo-Lois. It seemed at the beginning of this book that the Six were taking a bit of a backseat in their own book as the Lex Luthor/Vandal Savage feud continued, but by the end of it our favorite dysfunctional villains are back at center stage as we learn more about Scandal's relationship with her father.

R.E.B.E.L.S. #24 is a build up issue. We get a bit of quality time with Adam Strange at home with his family. Vril Dox has a date with Blackfire. Captain Comet is ticked that Starfire is using him for sex because he's really likes her. But before you write this issue off as skippable Starro the Conqueror is back and looking to regain his previous power. Tall order when your first target is Lobo. I've said repeatedly that this title is rock solid and really should be getting more reader-love. This issue is a solid jump on point, so if you haven't checked it out yet and dig space heroes doing space hero-y things check it.

Wrapping things up with WONDER GIRL #1 FROM J.T. Krul and Adriana Melo. I've been a fan of the character since her days in YOUNG JUSTICE. Krul is looking to give the TEEN TITANS book a boost and this issue put a nice spotlight and Cassie as well as features new hero Solstice. They're up against Lady Zand who I haven't seen in a book for quite a while, but really doesn't like Wonder Girl. They do have a history going all the way back to YOUNG JUSTICE so its nice to see the nod to that great title. It also sets Lady Zand up as Wonder Girl villain which she's been lacking a bit in the rogues department so that's cool. I wasn't terribly sure about how the relatioship between Cassie and her mother was depicted, but we haven't seen much of her mother in quite a while and with everything Cassie has been going through its almost seemed like her mother as a forgotten character. Fortunately, she's back and her reaction to the life that her daughter has chosen for herself comes across believably. So, high marks from me on this book.

MUSIC!!

Some bands suck live. Fortunately Jimmy Eat World isn't one of them.



On to the weekend where fun and adventure are waiting. No really. It is. See y'all Sunday.

Secret Six versus militant atheists!!

It's Friday, December 3, 2010, I'm climbing the corporate ladder, and this is The Side.

For months I've been working diligently at this here new job with the combat training, fast driving, bomb diffusion, alligator wrestling, and chemistry classes. And it seems the big boss has taken a notice, even if he's off to Japan with his ladyfriend recruiting new assets.

I get a nifty letter in my inbox, personally signed by Mister Wayne, saying how happy he's been with the work I've been doing and progress I'm making. It also names me Batman Inc.'s first employee of the month. I'm obviously honored that Mister Wayne would take note of my work, and he's obviously looked past me impersonating him at Chik-fil-A.

This is a great step up from my previous job. Determining "employee of the month" had an entirely didn't criteria there. You probably don't want to know about that.

COMIX!!

Let's kick this off with SECRET SIX #28. Gail Simone wraps up her "Secret Six versus Secret Six and Jungle Land" storyline with massive carnage and a giant snake thingie. I've enjoyed this storyline a bit because its brought some characters to the table that needed some attention. The roster expanded a bit which may be a tad awkward, but I'm confident Simone can make it work. My favorite part was at the end. Gail Simone had a great run on the comic THE ALL NEW ATOM which I loved, but have somewhat mentally blocked out because of how horribly the title and character got treated after Simone left the book. It was pretty deplorable. But two prominent characters from the series, Gianta and Dwarf Star, have popped up in the expanded Six roster. At first I just figured that this was a good excuse for Simone to use the characters. Then came the ending of this issue. I think Ms. Simone had a bit of steam that needed venting, and that bit made this book my read of the read.

ACTION COMICS ANNUAL #13 hit this week penned by Paul Cornell. It was just two days ago that it was a big ol Cornell love fest up in here. Obviously I was looking forward to this issue. Unfortunately, I felt a little let down. The issue delved a lot into the history of Lex Luthor. Seems that history had a lot to do with Darkseid and Ra's Al Ghul. I get that Cornell is painting a portrait of Luthor as exciting and interesting long before Superman came on the scene, but I wasn't really digging this twist on his history. I loved the idea of Luthor showing up in metropolis with hardly any money, but determined to stay in nice places that he was confident he would be able to afford given a day. Then things twist a bit and the Darkseid stuff gets brought in, and as much as I dig Darkseid as a villain, the whole thing felt off somehow. Not a bad comic, but I didn't really dig it.

Finally we have BATWOMAN #0. I like this character. I love what Greg Rucka did with her in his run with the character in DETECTIVE COMICS. However, Rucka isn't on this book and his absence is sorely felt. Artistically the book is interesting splitting the art between J.H. Williams III and Amy Reeder. I prefer Reeder's art personally. Lovely stuff. The writing is alright but I have a serious gripe with it that's entirely personal. The story revolves around Batman investigating Batwoman to access her fighting skills in one story segment and verifying her secret identity with another. My gripe is entirely martial arts related. During the fight accessment Bruce notes "But she's only using three different fighting styles." I hate that crap. "Only" using three? Three is a lot actually. Claiming a character has mastered tons of different martial arts is just silly. It takes a lot of time to properly train in different martial arts, so three is actually a good number to versed in, just ask any competitive mixed martial artist. Then the more ridiculous bit that came later. "The move she uses doesn't exist in any fighting styles I've studied. It's something she invented herself." I'm sure if I was a lot more ignorant of hand-to-hand combat that would sound cool, but this just has me thinking "Wow, I figure Batman would have at least heard of Capoiera." Note to everyone, there are no knew moves or techniques. Every way a person can hurt another person hand-to-hand has been done, most likely in multiple styles from various places around the globe. So for me, the book looks very pretty, but the writing was kinda lame duck. I'll probably grab the first proper issue of the book just to give it a fair shake, but I'm not terribly optimistic about it.

THE BOMB DIGGITY!!

Bit of drama going on at the local college as a couple of students were trying to make stuff blow up behind their apartment complex and the neighbor called the cops. These dopes were trying to makes bottle bombs with household chemicals and such. There's multiple stupidity going on here.

First off, these two college students could make it work, and yet me and my buddies were making these things when we were barely in high school.

Second is the group of their friends who have rallied around them and have condemned the neighbor who called the police. One claims the neighbor ruined these guys' lives, but the neighbor didn't force them to attempt to make bombs now did she? What I love is the dopes who have insinuated that since that area is known as a "party area" that the lady shouldn't have moves there. OK. I know its been a while since I went to college, but in these "party "areas" stuff usually didn't blow up, and guys weren't making bombs. There's also the college is where you're supposed to learn about stuff excuse. Pretty sure I learned not to try to blow stuff up in residential areas long before I got to college. Then there's the "they were only using household chemicals" bit. You can do a lot with household chemicals. I'm not going into details, because I'm not going to be giving you people any ideas. I'm on to you.

Next up is the excuses from the suspects. First was that it was for a class project. Please tell me what teacher had an assignment that could in any way be construed as "you are to attempt to blow shit up in your back yard", because I'm totally signing up for his class. Next was that it was for a video project. That's so weak, and made even weaker in that the police found no video equipment in the apartment. Tsk. If you're going to blow shit up, you're going to want to have your story for the police ready and airtight ahead of time. Just sayin'.

And finally, I know I said I made these things successfully in high school. However, I didn't do it in a residential area. We were out in the woods far away from anybody and anything, so the only lunatics at risk were us. I certainly didn't do it in a city that hosts the largest military base and top strategic target on the east coast, and I certainly did not do it during a war against terrorists who like using improvised explosive devices. 9-11 brought an end to my bomb making days.

So these goofs are facing federal charges and possibly jail time due to world class stupidity. I am looking forward to the addition in the student handbook saying that students are not to attempt to make bombs. You'd think it would be common sense, but that seems to running in short supply.

MYTHBUSTERS?

Nothing sucks more than a militant atheist. Right on cue with Christmas coming up we get this crap. We're constantly told how we're supposed to be tolerant of other cultures and religions. That's cool, and we should be. However these atheists, who supposedly value reason, seem to think that this doesn't apply to them. So they take to attention whoring this time of year with crap like this. I suppose their propped up airs of superiority just can't stand that someone has something to believe in and celebrate, so they just have to try to tear it down to make themselves feel better. Funny thing is, typically when they go on bashing religion, usually Christianity because you can get away with it, one of their biggest gripes is how intolerant religious people are. You can actually smell the hypocrisy.

CULTURE CLUB!!

Mark Waid caught a bit of heat for a speech he gave at the Harvey Awards a while back. The gist of it was that what comic makers add to culture is more important than copyrights. So basically its contributing to art and culture versus making money. Now this upset some people because really times are tough and there a lot of guys and gals out there who work hard and want to be justly compensated for their work. There's a valid point to both sides and there really does need to be a balance found in this somewhere.

Vito Delsante seems to have found it. In the month of December you can use any character that Delsante has created in your work for free as long as you do it properly and give him the credit for creating the character. All the details on this are in the link. This is a brilliant move. First off it allows fresh talent to have a stab at his works to bring new and interesting things to the table. Also, it gets Delsante's own works out there even more thus making them more recognizable and that will benefit him later.

Brilliant idea. Wish I thought of it. Kudos, Mister Delsante.

MUSIC!!

Winter is coming fast, and this song is just awesome.



That's the shooting match. See y'all Sunday. Don't get any on ya.

Cornell makes the world better

I'M BACK! It's Wednesday, December 1, 2010, gravy runs thick through my veins, and this is The Side!

As yes, Thanksgiving. It was a time of much traveling, spending time with family, and eating until I thought I would explode. The traveling was long, but the scenery was pretty, and also laughable as a big billboard in West Virginia read "What Would Jesus Do? Start over. Single Payer Healthcare. Everyone in. Nobody out." This sign was brought to us by www.bunch-of-morons-who-want-the-government-to-take-care-of-them-instead-of-being-responsible-for-their-own-lives.org and I'm also pretty sure Jesus wouldn't be advocating socialist solutions to healthcare problems. He'd probably be doing the laying of the hands bit.

Once there I got to relax and attempt to enjoy the Macy's Parade with the kids, which I finally did get to see all the neat floats and balloons after NBC shilled all their shows I don't care about, and a performance from every show that is even considering performing on Broadway. That's except for the Spider-man show which would have performed, but the actors got stuck up on the wires and couldn't get down. When did the Macy's Parade start sucking?

GETTING BETTER?

There's a social project going on to support teens of various sexualities against bullying called the It Gets Better Project. This features messages from adults aimed at teens of various sexualities to let them know that even though things suck for them at that moment, if they just hang in there that things will improve. They want bullying to end. Unfortunately, bullying will never end because there's always going to be some kid who is pissed off at the world and has enough weight behind him to push it around. Also I'm not seeing a big improvement in parenting across the boards so kids who think its OK to beat the crap out of other kids for whatever reason will occasionally spring up. Still, as far as activism goes its a damn sight better than it idiocy that is Feminist Hulk.

The thing is that things don't just get better for most of us. Gay kids aren't the only ones getting bullied. In fact if you go to most teenagers and get an honest view of life from their eyes, most of them are going have a pretty sucky one. Even that kid at school who's the most popular one there and everyone loves them has their own crap that they have to deal with on an everyday basis. You may not see it, but its there. I had a pretty easy go of things when I was teenagers, and I thought that things sucked for me. Have things improved, or gotten better, now that I'm an adult? Of course not. There's now different things that suck. I don't worry about bullying, partly due to being able to throw a hell of a punch, but because there's bigger things to worry about like paying bills and making sure that my family is alright.

Your current situation is temporary, unless you are dead, and in that case, disregard this message.

The choices you makes are what are going to decide whether or not things will get better. Bullying can indeed be the very least of your problems. And it is a problem. I'm not saying that it isn't, or that whatever is making any teenager's view of life a sucky one isn't a completely valid reason. But its something you can deal with. Bullying can be dealt with. The site also says that there are LGBT youths who can't imagine a future for themselves. Seriously, that's most youths, not just the gay ones. Sometimes that's not even them being depressed about something. That's just being a teenagers and the concept of being a 'grown up' is like a make believe thingie.

Jay Medicine Hat told a story about being stuck in traffic in some city in Colorado. It was snowing and cold as hell and he and his buddy are bitching about the whole thing. Then they find out why traffic is backed up. A guy in wheelchair was trying to get across the street and got stuck in the snow. People are yelling and honking their horns at him. So Jay and his buddy get out of the car, and pick up the guy in the wheelchair and get him over to a sidewalk in front of a hotel where there was no snow. The guy looks up and says "Thanks, fellas, I thought I was going to be late for work."

Life sucks. Complaining doesn't help, but it can make you feel a little better. So after you vent, go out and do what you can to deal with your problems and make your life a bit better. It may take a while and there's no guarantee that things will be great, but it sure as hell beats the alternative.

MAKING IT BETTER?

The area I live in is often referred to by people who think they are cool as the "7 Cities". Well some of those cities are not quite a desirable to live in as others. Sure there are nice places to live in every city, but when the "murder report" comes on the news every night certain places tend to get more mentions. I've worked in all these cities, and one of them has an area that's quite a bit worse than the others. Typically, when the sun starts to go down, you better be in your truck and heading in the general direction of the fuck outta there.

I come to find out that a building I've worked on for years doing things like fixing leaks because when you fire a gun into the air the bullet has to come down somewhere, is going to be demolished. I am here to say that demolishing this building will be an improvement. The interesting part is that this area will be the start of a new "town center" which will feature upscale restaurants and stores. So they're hoping to take one of the crappiest areas around, put a bunch of really nice stuff there, and hope that its such a good influence that it spreads making the whole area nicer. They're going to need a lot more cops out there.

They did do this in another city which was one we left quickly when the sun set. This was a bit smarted in there cunning plan as instead of starting as an oasis amid a desert of just horrible crap they started on one end to town and worked south. It was like a slow moving wave, but it worked and now about half of the downtown area is pretty decent. It does seem weird when you get to the invisible line where the restoration ends. They built a nice little Kelly's Tavern, and two blocks away is where a guy threatened to shoot me for being white in the wrong part of town.

So will it work? Damned if I know. I'm just waiting for the city to start knocking down the crap out there and seeing the residents on TV complaining how they're tearing down historical stuff.

COMIX!!

It has come to my attention that Paul Cornell is slowly but surely taking over the DCU. I fully support this. He jumped on BATMAN AND ROBIN #17 with Scott McDaniel and gave us the opening to a fun little three parter. I'm not terribly sure about Damien smiling so much, but this book was so much fun that I could easily look past it. This book has Dick and Damien working on a mystery and having a grand time of it. Its obvious that the book has moved on from the Morrison epic as there's no hint of the previous storyline here, although it could be argued that the "hole in things" has changed zip codes.

Moving over to more Cornelliness in ACTION COMICS #895 Vandal Savage has a bone to pick with Lex Luthor. It involves a nasty old prophesy and stuff. I'm not a big Vandal Savage fan. The whole thing with him being Cain was kinda weird, but this version works pretty well for me. It wasn't a huge funfest like the last view issues, but it was still good stuff. Robo-Lois is always a treat. The Jimmy Olson back-up was really great as well. It hadn't really been clicking for me up 'til now, but this installment was hoot. I want to go shop at Yarn barn because of it.

Moving away from the Cornelliness we have DETECTIVE COMICS #871 with Scott Snyder and Jock taking the helm. I haven't been the biggest fan of Jock, but his style works really well with this story. Snyder spins an interesting mystery putting Dick Grayson chasing after a foe who is using equipment from Gotham's rogues. He handles Dick very well and the interaction between him and Jim Gordon was a definite high point for me. I'm not reading all the Bat-titles despite how it may appear, but this one is still got my attention. Its a vast improvement from that terrible Hine story that just wrapped up.

ATOMICA #3 rounds out my reads this week. This issue was pleasantly weird with Atomica fighting the Omega Neutron Identity, which is an oddball super robot that has an adaptive personality. It was supposed to be a learning program, unfortunately it got stuck in a room with a radio on a bad pop station. It then ran amuck, destroying things and chanting “raw raw raw” while wearing stupid costumes and dancing strangely. Never had I wanted anything in a comic to be destroyed so horribly. I was hoping for the big “Atomic Power Punch”, but instead I got a curve ball as Atomica pacified the thing with a combination of classical music and kids songs. It felt a bit like a bait and switch, but I rolled with it as Atomica is easily a pluckiest hero to come along in years.

MUSIC!!

That's it for today. More comic stuff on Friday. See you then. Or else.

Soldier Zero is all about the pink!

Head's up, True Believers! It's Sunday, October 17, 2010, I need to get a birthday card for my mother the would-be cyborg, and this is The Side. *Cue the theme song here.*

One of these days I going to stop shamelessly ripping off Toby Turner's openings. I'm really going to have to get a theme song too. But even if i had one I wouldn't stick it on here, because I hate it when I click on a sight and suddenly it starts playing music I never asked it to. And I love music. If I didn't love music I wouldn't include different songs on here even post.

Ah well. Here's some stuff. Have at it.

EARLY REVIEW: SOLDIER ZERO!!!

The first of Stan Lee's projects with BOOM! Studios hits this week. SOLDIER ZERO is about an astronomy professor in a wheel chair who gets an alien war suit bonded to him in an accident. Its written by Paul Cornell with Javier Pina on the art chores. There's been a lot of fuss made over good ol' Uncle Stan's colaboration with BOOM! He's still a very creative fellow and he's created some interesting properties to be handled by some very talented writers and artists. Sounds totally like win. So I was practically giddy diving into issue one. Cornell has knocked my socks off with his run on ACTION COMICS. He gave me a bit of treat with KNIGHT AND SQUIRE which debuted last week. I went in expecting to have a trifecta of a love fest.

I really want to say I loved this book. I really do. But I can't.

Our hero, Stuart Trautmann, is a very nice guy. He works at a university where he's well liked and respected. His brother is a bit over protective of him, but is genuinely an alright fellow. The girl he likes, Lily, is cute and their relationship is genuinely believable. Even the way he gets bonded to the alien suit is really cool and as far as superhero origins go, its a pretty damn good one. The art by Pina is great. He's got a nice clean style that I like. It looks fabulous, and there's a lot of good stuff in there.

With all that good stuff though is seems like one nearly every page in which something isn't falling out of the sky we are hit over the head with how terrible, and awkward it is being in a wheelchair. We meet Stuart wanting to go into a store owned by someone he seems to know and who seems to know him, but he can because the store doesn't allow people in wheelchairs. OK, I get that Cornell wants to establish the adversity Stuart faces being in a wheelchair, and its admirable that he wants to show the everyday plight of someone with a disability. However, its 2010 and its 2010 or thereabouts in this story. I haven't seen a store anywhere, or any building for that matter in this day and age that is not wheelchair accessible. So I didn't get off on the right foot with this book to begin with.

There's little things in there that work like when Stuart says he should get a t-shirt made that says "You can say 'run'." However everyone treating him like he's helpless chaffs of nerves of Stuart and myself. Can he really be surrounded by that many clueless people who can't get past him being in a wheelchair? He doesn't harp on it. He doesn't ask for help because he's still capable of a lot of things. He's a good guy, and still pretty tough, so what's the deal. Every other time we see someone in a wheelchair in media, be it comics or television or movies, we are given the message of look past the chair and at the person. This is the exact opposite, which gives me a taste of Stuart's frustration, but at the same time it comes across too heavy-handed to point where I want to throw my hands up and say "OK, I get it, being in a wheelchair sucks."

There's some other things that I'm trying to work through, like how does a guy with the potential and ability to become a professor of physics get put in the front lines in Afghanistan by the Marine Corps? I have to assume that's what he signed on for since the military has a lot better use for talented hard science guys. It also provided an opening for a knock about how terrible war is and its never worth it. Not a shining moment in the book especially when its a direct reference to current real events. Yes, war is a terrible thing, and certainly we should honor our fallen who fight to protect and preserve our freedoms. I can even understand why Stuart would want to go to rallies and speak out against the war because if I ended up in a wheelchair I'd be pretty damned pissed off about the circumstances that landed me in it. Still, as someone who firmly supports our troops and our mission I found the scene off-putting.

My many gripes aside, its not a horrible book. Its pretty solid, and I'm interested to see what happens to Stuart now that he's bonded to an alien warsuit that seems to have a mind of its own. The action was sparse in this issue, but that's how it is with a lot of origin issues, so no trouble. I want to see what Stuart can do with the suit, and I want to see more of him and Lily. So issue 1 didn't really thrill me, but there was enough good stuff there to make me want to see what happens in issue 2.

THINK PINK!!

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness/Prevention month. What this means to people who don't care is that they'll see pink stuff with slogans like "Save the Ta-Tas". Breast Cancer isn't typically my cause, as I tend to do more for pediatric cancer in terms of fund raising and donating. My most notorious act to raise money was getting my head shaved couple of years ago, which raised about $300. Worked out alright, because money went to a good cause, I look great bald, and it helped raise awareness. Downside was my head later got sunburned, and that sucked.

I've just found out about salon in Kansas doing their part for the cause this October. For $10 they'll put a pink streak in your hair and all the money goes to charity. This is a small, privately owned salon in a modest town. At last check a few days ago they had raised nearly $800. They unfortunately don't have a website, but you can find them at:

The New York Hair Affair
433 New York Ave.
Holton, KS 66436
(785) 305-1973

What do we learn from this? First, that even in tough economic times people still have giving hearts. Second, pink hair is worth more than my lack of hair.

MUSIC!!

The Danger Days are coming and they're sounding completely awesome.



That's a wrap for today. Starting Wednesday I'm starting a two week long Halloweenfest. Expect some spooky fun. See y'all then.