Headed over to YouTube to see if anything was interesting, and this little news bit caught my eye.
"It's not Goth. Its not emo." And its not its something more. This takes not only the best aspects of Goth (everybody wear black to look like an individual!), and Emo (I'm a teenager and way too tragic for my own good) and combines it with the "Wolf Douche Factor". WDT is something that has been touched on before. This is a fascinating evolution of douchiness. Me and the guys would joke about this. You see all these little weirdos shuffling about and claiming to be vampires, and we'd wonder when there'd be a group of twerps claiming to be werewolves. Well, now we've got them. Thank goodness we can stop wondering now.
Look, I like werewolves. I like werewolf movies and the general lore. I've incorporated a werewolf into the horror fiction I write as a major character. Therefore I am claiming "expert" status and with that status I am here to tell thing children that they are doing it wrong.
If they really wanted to do it right they'd dress completely normally and only do their little costume time on nights of the full moon. This might upgrade them from plain weirdo status to mildly clever weirdo status. The cutesy names need to go too. Also werewolves aren't really known for being chill and relaxed. They mostly just try to kill and eat people. Not best role model there. I'm not saying that these kids should eat people, although I am tempted to say they can 'eat me'.
The best line of that entire news story was the one vapid girl looking oh so sincere when she said that they weren't doing this to get attention. Do I really need to explain how incredibly stupid that line is coming out of somebody who is dressed like that and claiming to be a werewolf? And sure I shouldn't be judging people by their appearance and blah, blah, blah. Listen up, hippies, if these little dopes want to do themselves up like Halloween 365 days our of year, fine, let them, but I'm going to call it like it is. There's no deep meaning here nor is there any primal pack mentality or bond between these kids. They're a bunch of kids letting their freak flag fly, and that's fine, but I'm going to give them the same advice I gave the wolf dorks preiously: Don't be a douche.
Showing posts with label wolves. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wolves. Show all posts
Marty versus Wolves
That's right. For the holiday season I'm going to do battle with pack of blood thirsty animals. It's a holiday tradition. Actually, they're no gravy thirsty animals, but with my kinfolk dinner can be a no holds barred event. Especially if there's ham AND turkey.
Onward. Wolves. They're quite the animal. Tons of myths about them. Perhaps that's why they attract douches.
There's a certain breed of loser out there, and the good thing about the internet is that these social misfits are staying in their parents' basement and not annoying me in real life. These people, mostly guys, are possessed with a false self-importance. They want the world to view them as mysterious, deep and potentially dangerous. They also tend to listen to heavy metal music and have mullets. These people, in an attempt to add depth to their douchiness, like to identify themselves with wolves.
In some cultures its thought that people embody to some degree particular animal spirits. To determine which spirit a person would likely have to consult a shaman or other person well versed in understanding these things. We also have things like the Chinese Zodiac in which different years correlate to different animals and people born within those years have certain traits that are related to those animals. Please note that with these cultures one does not declare what animal they relate to, they are told what animal they relate to. Its the different between declaring "I'm awesome" and someone else declaring "You're awesome".
We have instances of people invoking spirituality in meaningless ways for mainly two reasons: first, to try to add substance to their pathetic existences and second, to try to get laid.
Does this work? Yes, but the drawback to it is that it only works on people more pathetic than the person doing it. There's a hierarchy to cool. Claiming to be a wolf in dork's clothing is not cool. Only people less cool would think it's cool.
There's a math equation that explains all of this in concrete quantifiable terms, but it involve trigonometry and I haven't had coffee yet, so screw that.
This has led to open mockery this year, mainly with the Three Wolf Moon t-shirt. This shirt wasn't meant to be funny or ironic, but has become so. This is good for the makers of these shirts because they made some good bank off of it. It was a choice little meme earlier this year. "hey, the Three Wolf Moon t-shirt is a total chick magnet". This also popped up in a TWILIGHT parody on YouTube that I spotted last week. That fact that this is hallow and stupid is not lost on anyone.
I like wolves. I like werewolf movies. I think they're scary. I don't like TWILIGHT, but the wolves looked scary in the movie previews and was impressive until I realized that it's TWILIGHT and it sucks.
So here's the moral of the rant: Be yourself. Don't be a wolf. Wolves are cool. Guys claiming to be wolves aren't.
Onward. Wolves. They're quite the animal. Tons of myths about them. Perhaps that's why they attract douches.
There's a certain breed of loser out there, and the good thing about the internet is that these social misfits are staying in their parents' basement and not annoying me in real life. These people, mostly guys, are possessed with a false self-importance. They want the world to view them as mysterious, deep and potentially dangerous. They also tend to listen to heavy metal music and have mullets. These people, in an attempt to add depth to their douchiness, like to identify themselves with wolves.
In some cultures its thought that people embody to some degree particular animal spirits. To determine which spirit a person would likely have to consult a shaman or other person well versed in understanding these things. We also have things like the Chinese Zodiac in which different years correlate to different animals and people born within those years have certain traits that are related to those animals. Please note that with these cultures one does not declare what animal they relate to, they are told what animal they relate to. Its the different between declaring "I'm awesome" and someone else declaring "You're awesome".
We have instances of people invoking spirituality in meaningless ways for mainly two reasons: first, to try to add substance to their pathetic existences and second, to try to get laid.
Does this work? Yes, but the drawback to it is that it only works on people more pathetic than the person doing it. There's a hierarchy to cool. Claiming to be a wolf in dork's clothing is not cool. Only people less cool would think it's cool.
There's a math equation that explains all of this in concrete quantifiable terms, but it involve trigonometry and I haven't had coffee yet, so screw that.
This has led to open mockery this year, mainly with the Three Wolf Moon t-shirt. This shirt wasn't meant to be funny or ironic, but has become so. This is good for the makers of these shirts because they made some good bank off of it. It was a choice little meme earlier this year. "hey, the Three Wolf Moon t-shirt is a total chick magnet". This also popped up in a TWILIGHT parody on YouTube that I spotted last week. That fact that this is hallow and stupid is not lost on anyone.
I like wolves. I like werewolf movies. I think they're scary. I don't like TWILIGHT, but the wolves looked scary in the movie previews and was impressive until I realized that it's TWILIGHT and it sucks.
So here's the moral of the rant: Be yourself. Don't be a wolf. Wolves are cool. Guys claiming to be wolves aren't.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)