Outbreak monkey

There seems to be an outbreak of dyslexia on the internet. That's the current popular claim when dopes misspell works in forums. I love funny typos, and have been responsible for more than my fair share. Things happen. You're tired, spell check missed it or you just got really into whatever you were typing about and posted up without proofreading your stuff. I've been guilty of each from time to time. Yes, there's been a few laughs at my expense, and rightfully so. Still, I didn't claim to have a disorder just to try to silence those having a laugh.

I'm perfectly willing to over look a couple of typos here and there if the person is making an effort to get their point across. However, if it's funny, I reserve the right to laugh. Just like everyone should laugh when I misspell something and it makes what I was typing unintentionally funny.

Whiteout... wha?

The movie WHITEOUT is being released next Friday. Talking with Joey over at Kings yesterday he was unaware that the movie it supposedly based on a comic. Not surprising. I have the comic. I have the sequel. I was watching trailer for the movie wondering what this movie is supposed to be about.

The comic by Greg Rucka and Steve Lieber is very very good. Eisner Award winning good. So why change story to the point that I as a fan can barely recognize it? The story does hold up and does work. It would actually translate quite well into a movie. There seems to be three schools of thought in taking comic book intellectual properties to the big screen.

First: go as accurate as possible, using the comics themselves as a type of storyboard. Sometimes having to add a little and take away a little here and there to accommodate running time and the like. Examples: 300, SIN CITY, WATCHMEN.

Second: really try to the get the heart of the story. Sometimes things need an update, or the story doesn't translate too well onto the big screen, so a few changes are made to make it work, however fans still identify the story. Examples: SPIDER-MAN, X-MEN, HELLBOY.

Third: just that the title, and a few character names maybe a line or scene or two, and then just do whatever the hell you want. Example: WANTED, LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN.

WHITEOUT looks like it's going to be in the third category. So, if I go see it, I'm going to have to try to dismiss all of my knowledge of the story if I'm to have any hope of enjoying the movie. It worked for LEAGUE and I ended up enjoying the movie more than the comic. This is the cue for the Alan Moore fans to grab their pitchforks. Sorry kids, the movie was fun, the comic was boring. Deal.

For the record, I like Kate Beckensale, but I don't see her as Carrie Stetko at all. Too tall, too thin, and not enough freckles. Why she wasn't cast as Lily, I'll never know.

Disney Bought Marvel: THE TOP 10!

That's right kids, Marvel was bought by Disney, and the internet has been all a-flutter! Many are worried that there's going to be major changes to the comics they love and they're absolutely right. This is an funny book Armageddon! The rock is falling! We all gonna DIE! So in the spirit of impending DOOM, it's that time again:


10: Deffiant McDouchbag declares victory, immediately targets Disney for his next conquest.

9: Lila Cheney and Dazzler are the new opening acts for Hannah Montana.

8: Doctor Strange to be challenged for his title of Sorcerer Supreme by a mouse in a hat.

7: Namor's new sidekick: Ariel.

6: Iron Fist and Shang-Chi will be among the next roster of Power Rangers.

5: Brian Michael Bendis's new job title: Imagineer.

4: Lady Sif is now Princess Sif.

3: Uncle Ben was killed by hunters.

2: Stark Industries is bought out by Scrooge McDuck, meaning GizmoDuck will be getting one hell of an upgrade.

And the number one thing you can look forward to now that Disney has bought Marvel:

Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters Musical!

Online presence immitating comics, or 52 becomes 30!

So, while i enjoy discussing comics online there comes a time when I need a break. This allows my own opinions to form without outside input, and prevents myself form being integrated into a weird e-hivemind. Now, the main place I discuss comics if Gaiaonline and specifically this thread. This thread was started by our good buddy over at Teatime Brutality based mainly off of my insane ramblings and is moderated by our good friend Linda whose comments have popped up in here from time to time and has contributed art to Tales of Night Life. What makes this little sabbatical from e-discussion interesting is that Linda and Richard are doing one at the same time, so for the month of September that thread has to do without input from the three of us.

This has of course been compared to the comic 52 as the three of us comprise the Holy Trinity of everything that is good about the internet, with the exception of porn, to which every last one of you out there should be grateful to us and send us cookies.

What's fun about this is the number of ways this ends up paralleling the events of the comic. It was a 52 issue long story in which Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman were all out of action. So how do we three line up with DC's trinity? Pretty well actually.

In terms of fandom, it's very simple. Linda is a huge Super-fan, with her collection of Supergirl memorabilia and artwork. Richard is the Bat-fan, which is obvious from reading his blog. I'm the Wonder-fan, because while I like both Superman and Batman, I'm fascinated on many levels with the character and having read the runs of both Greg Rucka and Gail Simone have no trouble gushing on at length about her.

Going a step further is where things get a little sticky. Linda is still obviously the "Super" part of the trinity in that she's still there on the site, but just not contributing. Much like Clark Kent was around but wasn't very active. However, Clark wasn't active due to his powers being gone. Linda still maintains her powers, and is currently controlling the weather. It has been said that Linda may indeed be "over-powered" that that makes her a less interesting character. I have to say that those making these assertions often speak from ignorance having never read Linda.

Which brings us to myself and Richard. Linda has told me that I must be Batman, having removed myself from active discussion to process my experiences and media inputs to emerge later to become a better rounded individual with a back-up personality and that Richard is Wonder Woman since he broke that one guy's neck for insisting that BATMAN #666 was not canon. Now to be fair, the guy did have it coming.

But is this accurate? Richard is indeed repairing back to Panda Narbat for his intellectual sabbatical and while he may not be sitting in a cave I'm sure he'd have no objection to sitting blissfully in a park, contemplating Doctor Who with the shape provided by Lucy Pinder's bosoms keeping the harsh sunlight from him. I'm currently not wanted by any Government agencies to the point where the jerks won't even return my calls anymore.

So, while it is difficult to pin down which of us is indeed an Amazon, it's easy to draw comparisons between both Richard and myself to the Dark Knight. Obviously we both have butlers and young sidekicks. What is interesting is that I seem to be representing the pre-52 Batman being slightly paranoid and obvious being teh gratest fiter on teh intarwub. Total e-ninja, but not in the accurate comparison, only in the BS Hollywood ninja sense. Richard represents the post-52 Batman with research, rationality and hope with his meticulous study of the character and events surrounding him. Also Richard has prep-time and is invincible due to it. It's also popular opinion that there is no real Richard, it's a bunch of people, much like the idea among Gotham criminals and citizens that there's an army of Batmen. So this begs the question: after this sabbatical, will I become Richard? Will Richard move on to be stuck in the middle of his mum leading an ill conceived and poorly written assault on America as told by Jodi Piccoult? These are questions on time will answer.

Of course after this is over and we've returned to our discussions in that thread we will likely have to deal with the Richard identity thing. This will most likely happen as his illegitimate son that he had with the daughter of an eco-terrorist shows up, he'll be lured to mansion with many international versions of Richard in an attempt to kill them all, which will be the first overt step by the devil to destroy Richard. All the while an evil woman with a really obvious name will be attempting to seduce and destroy him. After defeating the devil, Richard will be dropped through a series of websites like Gaiaonline, but much suckier, and end up in 2003 Go-Gaia and everyone will think he's dead, but really he's in a website with much less items for his avatar. This will of course prompt many people to try to be Richard.

I'd make many similar comments about Linda in comparison to Superman, but I doubt he'd want her life to be anywhere conceivably near to anything Geoff Johns has ever written.

There you go. A full month's worth of nerd-dom all in one post.