Geek Overload!

Hang on, I'm comin'. Its Sunday, May 15, 2011, I'm limpin' like a pimp with polio, and this is The Side. Blogger was down for most of Thursday and Friday, so I'm making up for that today. As for the limp, I'm pretty sure I aggravated an old injury. I came off a roof years ago and broke my heel. Taking the down time necessary to let it heal right wasn't an option, so I kept going on with things, and typically its fine. However, work this week involved jumping over some railing repeatedly, and eventually I landed wrong.

Guess its time to put my feet up and talk some comics.

FALL OF THE AMAZON

Well, I said the Wonder Woman TV show was looking and sounding pretty bad, and it seems that upon seeing the pilot episode NBC agreed with me. I've followed this story and read a bunch of articles about it and I've looked at comments attached to the articles. No one had much of anything nice to say about it.

Look, the girl was pretty, and she might be a pretty good actress, but she looked either freaked out or constipated whenever she was photographed doing any stunts. The costume was redesigned three times based off the latest Jim lee design which no one really cares for. It doesn't look like Wonder Woman, plain and simple. Word is the script was atrocious. I heard there was a seen with Wonder Woman crying over her ice cream with Etta Candy over the stress of being Wonder Woman and running a business, which wouldn't surprise me one bit since David Kelley was behind this.

This thing didn't have a prayer.

Fans keep bitching and moaning about the lack of a live action Wonder Woman project. I still say be happy with the awesome animated feature from a few years ago. But, if you want to do this right you put Greg Rucka, Gail Simone, and Eric Kripke in a room together, and you let them have it out. Rucka and Simone understand what is great about the character of Wonder Woman and Kripke knows how to make epic TV and still ground it. You let them get the ball rolling. You then find an actress who is athletic, and preferably with a strong background in dance. Dancers perform incredible physical feats while making it look graceful and easy. Wonder Woman is as tough as they come, but she's incredibly graceful. This is important, just as much as having the acting chops to pull off a character who is elegant and caring and very compelling.

This can be done right.

COMIX!!

This week FLASHPOINT #1 came out in which DC let's us all know that Barry Allen is the greatest hero ever and without him the DC Universe would be doomed, but not in a way that made sense like "Chain Lightning". The effects of this story will be felt through out comics everywhere. In fact, Marvel's "Fear Itself" storyline concludes with Barry Allen telling everyone that 'everything will be alright' and then resurrecting Johnny Storm with the power of his awesomeness.

Let's light this candle with BATMAN INCORPORATED #6 in which we discover quite a few things, but foremost is Chris Burnham is one hell of an artist. Love his work here, right down to him drawing Bruce Wayne's eyebrows to suggest little bat wings. These previous issues have been a lot of build up. We've got an idea of what's going on. If you haven't been following but were thinking about maybe trying to jump on this train, this is the issue to do it. I've talked a lot about how Bruce Wayne is structuring this thing and here it all is laid out pretty for us. We also get a good taste of how this organization is going to operate. There's a couple of new members including a mysterious new Wingman who will be Bruce's ace-in-the-hole in the upcoming fight with Leviathan (Its Barry Allen, because Barry Allen is the awesome-est hero ever). This new foe has been creeping me out. He weaponizes children and its revealed that the youngest one is 18 months old. That pushes all the buttons I need to make me want Bruce Wayne to take this guy out. This book is flat out cool.

Moving it on over to R.E.B.E.L.S. #28. This is the book's final issue. They've had a great run. This was definitely a sleeper book which I don't think had a huge following, but everyone who got onboard really dug it. Word is this book got axed to make room for all the FLASHPOINT stuff, because Barry Allen is so awesome that there's just not enough room for all of the existing DC titles and the amount of awesomeness Barry Allen possesses. We get the conclusion of the battle with Starro. There wasn't a ton of loose ends to get wrapped up, so this book is nice and tight. Thank you Tony Bedard, Claude St. Rubin, and the rest of the creative team for a really fun ride.

In RED ROBIN #23, Time is up against assassins who are in competition to kill important people and he's got to stop them before they get to Barry Allen thus depriving the world of his awesomeness. Tim's running a nasty risk trying to get the inside track to take this group on, and its one that Commissioner Gordon and Batman don't quite approve of. Marcus To is back on pencils, and thank goodness for that. The story is pretty good. Tim's walking a fine line, and I'm hoping to see this pay off.

Things are getting thick in BATGIRL #21 as the Reapers send their latest agent, Harmony, on missiony types things which our gal Steph has to stop, which she does with a "huzzah", thus validating me for bringing back "huzzah". She also has to deal with her stalker, The Grey Ghost, who turns from annoying to creepy to jerk. I've enjoyed the dynamic in this book with Steph and Wendy, but its looking like that's coming to an end as Wendy is leaving to go to Nanda Parbat to try heal herself and start a church devoted to the Awesomeness of Barry Allen. This book continues to be consistently entertaining.

BIRDS OF PREY #12 has Jesus Saiz joining Gail Simone in this new storyline, and I'm one happy little nerd. I totally dig Saiz. I loved his stuff on the old CHECKMATE series and hes true to form here. The Birds latest case connects with one of The Questions, so we get a Question/Huntress team-up which is always a blast. We have the Birds working an infiltration, which makes it so fitting that Saiz is onboard with a superhero/espionage angle. I'm going to be honest, this felt like a Greg Rucka book. This is what I think it would be like if Rucka took a turn writing BoP. I mean this as a complete compliment to Gail Simone, as Rucka is in my eyes one of the top espionage story writers working today. I loved this. I loved this so much that I can't even slip a Barry Allen awesomeness line in here.

In HELLBOY: BEING HUMAN, HB and Roger the Homunculus head to South Carolina to investigate a weird grave robbing that takes a nasty twist. Its a nasty case with some bad voodoo involved. Roger is forced into action which he's not very comfortable with. He's not the violent sort. Fortunately, Barry Allen shows up to tell him that everything is alright. This is a fun little one-shot. If you haven't gotten a good, creepy Hellboy fix in a while, then this should be just what you need.

This has been the word of Barry Allen for the people of Barry Allen. Praise be to Barry. Allen.

NOZZ'S FAVORITE SUPERHERO MOVIES: TOP 10!!

Mike Federali wanted to know, so here we go. These are my favorites, and not based of critical reviews or how much money they made. These are also strictly live action movies, because if I start factoring in animated movies this list changes entirely.

10: The Phantom The first hero to wear tights, and purple ones at that! Billy Zane hit the weights like a champ because he refused to wear a padded costume. Same writer as INDIANA JONES AND LAST CRUSADE. Its a family friendly adventure and a great popcorn flick.

9: The Crow This movie pretty much hit cult status upon release. This was going to be Brandon Lee's star maker, but ended up his swan song. Great film with an awesome soundtrack.

8: Spider-man Tobey Maguire and Willam Defoe really brought their a games. While I'm not a big fan of Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane I'm willing to look past that for the many great scenes in this film.

7: Sin City They filmed a comic and did it well. Brilliant cast. Robert Rodriguez brought Frank miller's comic to the big screen in a way no one was really ready for. This was the big comeback for Mickey Rourke and he played Marv to the hilt.

6: Ironman 2 Speaking of Rourke, notice how the first Ironman flick ain't here? Its because Mickey Rourke drove this film like a champ. Robert Downey Jr. did his thing, but the rest of the cast were just as stellar.

5: Hellboy If you want to talk about great casting, Ron Perlman as Hellboy is spot on. This movie is a blast. Del Toro brought us right into the Hellboy world and mythos without a cop out or apology.

4: Batman Begins This is the best Batman film to date. Christian Bale is a great Bruce Wayne. And just when things got too heavy you have Michael Caine with every bit of charm you'd expect from Alfred Pennyworth. That's exactly what was missing from THE DARK KNIGHT: charm.

3: 300 No prisoners! No Mercy! This movie kicks ass on a primal level. They expanded on the comic quite a bit, but it was done so very well. This movie is one to watch when you need to get fired up to do what you've got to do.

2: Spider-man 2 Alfred Molina was remarkable here. Tobey Maguire again played an excellent Peter Parker. The train fight was remarkable. We really felt horrible for poor old Spidey making cheering him on as he saves the day that much more satisfying.

1: Thor That's right, I'm going there. Like I said when I reviewed it, this movie was a blast. Just a whole lot of fun. Good action. Funny as hell in parts. And it had a very solid plot and story. Top notch work and wasn't afraid to pull us straight into a fantasy world which it showed off gloriously.

MUSIC!!

Been a bit stressed this week. Missing Friday's post due to technical problems didn't help. Still, when you feel down, and Barry Allen is busy saving the world, there's only one thing to do.



That's my load for today. No numbers jump after the Pocoyopocalypse, but I'm keeping an eye on it. I'll see y'all Wednesday. My Barry Allen bless you and keep you.

Jonesing for Wonder Woman

Rats! Its Sunday, March 20, 2011, I'm mildly disappointed with myself, and this is The Side. The karate tournament went well yesterday. All of my students competing placed in their divisions. First place trophies eluded us, but that's not a big deal because I'm proud of all my students because they did well. For many of them it was their first open competition and they did well again tough competitors as well as being out in front of a large audience for the first time.

I'm slightly disappointed with myself for flubbing my forms a bit. Sure I placed in both my divisions, but my rust was showing. I haven't competed in two years and that was evident. So I'll be working that much harder for the next tournament.

It was also a little disheartening to see the turn out for the event. I remember how packed this tournament used to be when I was a kid. Not as many competitors this time. I know a part of it is money. This tournament costs $40 to enter, which is very reasonable for a tournament of this size and quality. Some people just can't afford to pay that and pay for gas to drive to this event. Still, it was a good event, and hopefully will grow again in the future.

BEATIN'S!!!

So what do you do to warm up before the biggest fight of your MMA career and you very first title shot? You stop a thief. Its great for your cardio.



Jon "Bones" Jones is the type of fighter that perfect for the sport. He's recognizable, personable, respectful, entertaining, and most importantly he fights like a beast. Boasting the longest reach in the UFC at 84.5 inches he's incredibly lanky compared to many of the other fighters in the light-heavyweight division. This weight class is the UFC's thickest stacked with many of the sport's biggest names all vying for the title. Jones is 23 and has only been training in MMA for three years since transitioning into the sport from wrestling. So when he was offered a title shot when his training buddy, Rashad Evans, got injured there were doubts that he'd be up to the task.

Taking a fight against Shogun Rua is always a risky proposition. Shogun is one of the most feared strikers in the world with a long and impressive resumé. As much as I like Jones, I had a lot of doubts. Sure the kid hasn't been beaten, but if anyone was going to put an end to that streak it would be Shogun.

Shows what I know.

It was a very one sided affair with Jones using his incredible reach with his arms and legs to keep the very dangerous Rua at bay and when Rua did get too close Jones used his grappling to take him down and punish him is elbows. Jones sealed the deal in round three using strikes to the liver to crumpled Rua. Rua was tapping out as the referee was stopping the bout.

Bones Jones. Crime fighter by day and by night the youngest ever UFC champion. Kudos to this great young fighter.

WHO'S THAT LADY?

Its a pretty tough time to be a Wonder Woman fan. Straczynski's revamp of the character still hasn't gone away even though he sodded off to go do other things. This has left an unpleasant hole in my DC reading. But then I figured I could get my fix with NBC making a Wonder Woman pilot for a possible TV show. Cool, since I loved the old TV show. Everybody did, except for cummunists.

But then more and more details came out about the project. The guy who created ALLY MCBEAL was in charge. Networks were passing on the project. Still its getting pushed. Now we have a picture of the costume, which is based on the Jim Lee redesign, but with thankfully less black. No, that's not an image of someone cos-playing from a conventions, that's what Wonder Woman is supposed to look like now. Now don't get me wrong, the actress is a very attractive woman, and would probably be a great Wonder Woman, if she was actually allowed to play Wonder Woman.

The fact that a lot of networks said no thanks to this actually give me some hope. Even TV network executives have a notion of what Wonder Woman is, and they aren't seeing it. Hopefully this'll mean getting away from the JMS reboot soon and getting back to having Wonder Woman the way she should be. Honestly, from the details I've been hearing about the script this sounds worse than the 1974 TV attempt.

What does that failed effort and this current future failed effort have in common? The '74 TV version was based off the "I Ching" version of Wonder Woman in which she had no, powers, no real costume, and feminists quite upset. This current version is based on the JMS reboot in which we have a HaRdCoRe Wonder Woman who isn't really anything like he real character.

Yes, things do need to be altered a bit in adaptations, but basing entire projects on unpopular derivations or iconic characters is just flat out doomed. Ah well, I've still got my WONDER WOMAN animated feature DVD. I'm all set.

MUSIC!!!

I'm directing my feetza to Daddy Green's Pizza.



That'll do it for me this time around. I'm going to go make some coffee, and be thankful that Dana White will be starting the UFCs an hour earlier from now on.

The Pearls, The Bell, and The Gun

It's Sunday, November 14, 2010, and this is The Side. This post started out pretty simple and then I read a comic.

There are times where writers through fiction validate you. I've theorized about a lot of stuff involving storylines. I've made a lot of insane predictions, and some of them actually panned out. A lot of them were off the mark but sounded good at the time.

This weekend I got a lot of my thoughts about the superhero genre validated. So, I'm feeling pretty darned spiffy.

COMIX!!

What makes us human?

Is it straight up biology that can be learned about through study. Is it creation by God, or or whatever creation story your religion subscribes to, being made into a human. Science or myth? Or both?

The three dimensions of the superhero genre are science fiction, mythology, and humanity. In BATMAN THE RETURN OF BRUCE WAYNE #6, Bruce Wayne has been hunted through time by the curse of the Space God of Evil. Time, mythology, and weirdo science all of which that has been wrapped up in the Omega Sanction and turned loose upon Batman to turn him into a weapon to destroy the world. Two of the three dimensions converging maliciously upon the representation of the third.

Boy, did they screw with the wrong guy.

It all comes together here. Bruce Wayne's plan against something bigger than anything he's every faced. Darkseid tried to use Bruce as a template for an army of weapons in FINAL CRISIS. When that failed he tried to use the man's own history to destroy him. Batman's own memories were taken from him which I thought was part of the trap, but was really the key to eluding his pursuer through time The Hyper-Adapter which meant to use Bruce to reincarnate Darkseid. The game of cat and mouse went from the dawn of man to the end of time, but the chase ends here. A weaponized Batman returns to the present and the world is at stake.

So how can one man, even Batman, survive and attack by science fiction which creates mythology at every turn? Batman struck down Darkseid, but that has brought upon him a hell that seemed inescapable. Batman faces the Darkseid's most dangerous weapon, the Anti-Life. Resisting it was described in FINAL CRISIS as "trying to beat back an ocean". If he submitted that was it, time was going to come undone, and Darkseid would return bringing with him a Fifth World created in his image. How can a human, or humanity stop this?

What makes us human?

We flash back to Frank Miller's BATMAN:YEAR ONE. There is Bruce Wayne staring at the bat that inspired him. But we know what that bat really is now. We now see this turning point in Bruce Wayne's life as the crossroads it really was. He didn't give into the darkness. He used it as inspiration, and then made the most important decision of his life:

He asked for help, from someone he loved.

THAT is what makes us human. Our relationships. Love. Family. That was how Barry Allen freed Iris from Anti-Life in FINAL CRISIS. This is how Bruce Wayne triumphs here. It's not from being something inhuman. Its not from being "The Goddamned Batman". Its by being a man who during his life has accumulated an incredible group of family and friends around him, and his willingness to protect them, and through that their willingness to trust and help him.

Humanity faced ultimate evil, and kicked its ass.

Now we have a Batman that is a truly balanced character. He's accepted himself and the truth of his life. We've seen storyline after storyline about him pushing his family and friends away. It never lasts. It can't last. Morrison has completed his epic examination of the humanity in the genre. "The Once and Future Batman" is now complete. I wondered why this issue was released after BATMAN AND ROBIN #16 since the events of that comic take place after the events of this one. Now I know. A lot of things that had been going on in this story over the last few years have been explained recently, but this was the issue that showed us the point to it all.

Its a point well worth learning.

LAME-O!!

Paragon of class and wise beyond her years Megan Fox is in a bit of hot water for calling Wonder Woman "lame". Now you may be wondering to yourself how could Megan Fox, in her infinite wisdom, say such a thing about such an important character in the superhero genre. Was not recently that the village rejoiced over the mere notion that Fox would perhaps play Wonder Woman in a live action movie to make our little nerdling lives perfect and complete? Was it not the glorious Megan Fox who would finally solve the problem of there not being a live action Wonder Woman movie? How could she say such a thing?

Pretty damn easily actually. Face it kids, the only reason anyone was excited about the prospect of of Megan Fox playing Wonder Woman had absolutely nothing to do with her acting ability. It was all about a lot of guys think she looks hot, and Wonder Woman's outfit shows quite a bit of skin. She probably got as annoyed with rumors as I have, so, yay, I may have something in common with Megan Fox.

Its really not hard to say Wonder Woman is lame. DC has always had a problem keeping that book popular. Its like they don't know what do with her from an editorial standpoint. When Greg Rucka came onboard to write the comic years ago he was told that the only reason people would buy the comic is for the covers which were at the time done by Adam Hughes. This is pretty damn insulting and once the dust settled Hughes wasn't doing the covers anymore. Not terribly pleasant, but Rucka made WONDER WOMAN and really incredible comic. So everything was great until the book got canceled due to INFINITE CRISIS and continuity shake up. They relaunched the comic with an issue 1 and a new creative team and everything seemed alright. But the creative team quickly shifted and Jodi Piccoult was tapped as writer. She may write great novels, but she wrote a horrible Wonder Woman. After a couple years of being awful, Gail Simone got her hands on the book, and made it a lot of fun. There was so much to enjoy and be excited about. And then that got shifted off to the side for the JMS nonsense. So whenever things start looking great for our Amazon Princess, it just doesn't seem good enough and things get changed and turn sucky. I understand it to a degree. There was a big company wide shift around INFINITE CRISIS and a lot of books got canceled, launched, or re-launched and comic companies still like have #1 issues to try to lure in new readers. They brought in Piccoult because she's a very successful novelist. They brought in JMS because he has an excellent reputation as an excellent comic writer. So, really its no one's fault that these things, which seemed like good ideas at the time, didn't pan out.

But still there a lot that the character has to overcome from readers. A lot of readers write her off as a Superman knock off. Just there for eye candy. And yes, plenty have called her 'lame'. I've made a case repeatedly as to why the character is important, and really great. So, does Megan Fox deserve to be in a bit of hot water for stating her opinion, which is one that has been echoed by plenty of comic fans? Absolutely not. Would it be nice if she sat down and really read some of the comics and got a better informed opinion on the matter. Certainly.

MUSIC!!

That's it for today. I reserve the right to revisit this entire Batman thing, because frankly, we could start a book club and discuss this whole thing for a solid week. For now though, I think I've shoveled enough nerdom upon you. BEGONE!!

Straczynski's Swipey Thing

Its Friday, November 12, 2010, I'm ready to swipe something, and this is The Side. Recently, I helped change a bunch of glass in windows in another town. The client was a friend of friends we got the job done pretty quickly and everything looked great. However the client seems to be having trouble with his penmanship when it comes to writing the check to pay for replacing the glass.

This led to him showing up at my buddy's door asking his wife about a "swipey thing".

Now call me old fashioned, but I always thought it was bad form to show up unannounced at a fella's house and make inquiries to his wife about a swipey thing.

Seems the guy want to pay with a credit card as he's "moving and packed up his checkbook". Oh, well, that explains everything, because whenever I've moved, the checkbook was the first thing I shoved in a box. Shame on my buddy for not having a swipey thing.

SWIPEY COMIX!!

Seems someone swiped my copy of THE RETURN OF BRUCE WAYNE #6 before I could get to the shop this week, so my thoughts on that will have to wait until I can secure an issue. In the meantime...

KNIGHT AND SQUIRE #2 hit the shelves and was pleasantly weird and charming. BATGIRL #15 welcomed aboard Dustin Nguyen to the creative line up and is completely worth it for the three page history to the Bat-verse according to Steph. The rest of the issue is fun too. TINY TITANS/LITTLE ARCHIE AND HIS PALS #2 had all the fun and humor I've come to expect from Baltazar and Franco. When you have the bat-tusi and Josie and the Pussycats in the same comic its really hard to go wrong. Speaking of team-ups, HELLBOY/BEASTS OF BURDEN found its way into my bag and it was a lot of fun. Talking animals being cute and fighting supernatural stuff is a totally untapped market. I was previous unaware of these here Beasts of Burden, but I shall investigate further.

BIRDS OF PREY #6 wraps up the inaugural storyline for the relaunched title. There was seriously a Birds of Prey shaped hole in things after this book was swiped away from us poor nerds. Huntress takes on Shiva in a battle to the death. That alone is plenty. What I didn't expect was Shiva actually acting just a little bit like a human being here and there. Huntress doesn't get a whole lot of respect in the DCU, which I suspect has a bit to do with the outfit she's constantly drawn in, but she's center stage and being completely awesome in this book. Great stuff from Gail Simone, but great stuff from her business as usual.

R.E.B.E.L.S. #22 brings Starfire to center stage as her and a Psion Green Lantern get a hard look at what it means to be a female on the planet Psion. It was pretty harsh stuff as we see a culture in which the only reason they keep females around at all is for breeding purposes. Starfire is an excellent fit into this book which is all about the space characters of the DCU. I'm still burnt out quite a bit on Green Lanterns what with all the GL themed events recently that just served to annoy me, but Bedard has to use them. This book is about space heroes, and they are space heroes. It makes sense that they're there. The bokk continues to be incredibly solid and a great read.

SWIPEY BUH-BYE! sorta...

Previously I bailed completely from reading the comics SUPERMAN and WONDER WOMAN despite being a big fan of both characters because writer J Michael Straczynski took over both titles and made them both awful. The WW story was like a cliché of a cliché featuring super strong girl with no memories fighting an eeeeeeevil government agency hoping to get revenge for killing all of her people. I read one issue, vomited and promptly dropped the book, praying that this was all a dream and that somehow Gail Simone would magically return to save me. The Superman story fetured the big guy walking around looking for answers to life and yet somehow being condescending to everyone questioning his actions and seeming to have all the answers. It also featured Superman and current Batman, Dick Grayson, being utterly douchey to each other in what seemed to be a throwback to the first part of INFINITE CRISIS and showing that JMS seems to have no concept of what makes Dick Grayson tick, which seems to complete the trinity since he doesn't seem to know what it is that makes Superman and Wonder Woman awesome.



Then I rejoiced to learn that JMS was quitting both book early. I was gleeful last evening, blissful in thoughts that prayer does indeed work and then got down on my knees to get to work on the smiting of Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, and whoever it was at YouTube that put that James Cameron ad together which makes it a pain to watch the videos I want to watch. Makes the videos skip. I don't like it. Then I later learned that Chris Robinson and Phil Hester will be taking over the writing of SUPERMAN and WONDER WOMAN respectively, which is cool because I had forgotten that Phil Hester writes stuff. And finally, unfortunately, I learned that both writers would be working from Straczynski's notes. So, I suppose Bieber, Gaga, and the YouTube putz will continue to live, although they may all get boils.

JMS is going to go off to write a sequel to that EARTH ONE book I completely ignored, which is fine because the more projects like this he goes off to do the less he can infect the continuity of the characters I love with bad stories. So, it looks like I'll be staying away from SUPERMAN and WONDER WOMAN for a while yet, and hopefully the writers will be able to get out from under the JMS notes soon.

SWIPEY MUSIC!!

The Missus made a discovery! Guy and girl with pretty eyes and a Batman T-shirt make music! YOU LISTEN NOW!! And no you don't get to see her swipey thing.



Alright, its time to go do stuff. I need to go find my swipey thing so that I can get paid this week. Its like the world is trying to go all BATMAN BEYOND on me.

TV Time Warp

Pass the remote. It's Sunday, October 3, 2010 and I'm thinking a lot about television. I'm thinking about old TV shows. I'm thinking about possible TV shows. I think I'm doing all that to try to avoid thinking about how bad SUPERNATURAL is this season. I remember watching GILMORE GIRLS with my wife during their last season and remember thinking, this show used to be clever and really had a clear direction for the characters. Then the person who created the show left it, much like Eric Kripke left SUPERNATURAL, and now the show is a shadow of its former self.

Yes, I did just admit to watching GILMORE GIRLS. However I wasn't watching it the same way after seeing SIN CITY and BAD SANTA.

R.I.P. STEPHEN J. CANNELL

Stephen J. Cannell passed away this week at the age of 69. I loved this guy's work. He's the guy who created The A-TEAM, and that show is one of my favorite childhood shows. He did a ton of other shows too that grew up with and loved.

The A-TEAM was the first show I was allowed to watch when I was negotiating my bedtime being moved from 8 to 9 when I was a kid. I wanted to stay up later and my Dad told me I could pick one day of the week to stay up late and if I could still get up for school with no problems then they move my bedtime back. Of course I had to pick Tuesday night. It wasn't much later that I got caught up in another one of his, THE GREATEST AMERICAN HERO. It was about a normal guy who found an alien costume that gave him super powers, but he lost the instruction manual. The cheesy scene of him flailing around in front of blue screen as a landscape was shown behind him in what was supposed to be him flying still makes me smile a bit.

Then I got older and 21 JUMP STREET was the most popular show on TV, at least at my school it was. Fox was still a brand new station. Johnny Depp was starring with Holly Robinson and Peter Deluise. I got into that show a bit late, but it was cool stuff. I recently grabbed the first season on DVD an am slowly but surely working my way through it.

One of my favorite shows that he did was STREET JUSTICE. It only went for two seasons and starred Carl Weathers as a cop who teams up with a streetwise martial artist to fight crime. It also starred Marcus Chong who went on to play Tank in THE MATRIX. It was actually pretty slick even though it was pretty formulaic. The fight scenes were pretty cool stuff too. I really dug that show.

He did a lot of shows over the years. You'd always know which ones were his because after the credits rolled you'd see him with his popped collar pulling a page out his typewriter and tossing it into the air so it could magically transform into his logo. Thanks for the fun television, Mister Cannell.

TV: WONDER WOMAN?

There's some consideration about a new Wonder Woman TV show. Many of us remember the Lynda Carter show fondly, myself included. SMALLVILLE has had a decent run of things but that's going to be wrapping up this season. That does leave an interesting void to fill. So this obviously is going to trigger the typical hoopla of who will get the role. There's been much hemming and hawing over the years as to casting the live action Wonder Woman movie which will never be made. Frankly I'm perfectly happy with the animated feature Warner Brothers put out a while back, so I don't really have a dog in the fight. What has me curious is that David E. Kelley has attached himself to the project. Kelley is the same person who brought us ALLY MCBEAL, THE PRACTICE, and BOSTON LEGAL. Not the type of shows I would directly relate to the superhero genre. However he was one of the people behind one of my favorite movies MYSTERY, ALASKA.

So this is sticky. There are elements of the character that I think Kelley could really run with and make good television. However, the elements that I really like about Wonder Woman seem to be out of his wheelhouse. So will this show be to my liking? I don't know. But there is obviously things that people would hope to see. The relationship with her mother and the others on Themyscira. Her dealings with the Greek Gods and characters from mythology. And of course I have to agree with Gail Simone who wrote the WONDER WOMAN comic for a few years.

"If they do a Wonder Woman television series, there had better be at least one albino gorilla, that's all I'm saying."

And is that really too much to ask? Gorillas are a sure ratings booster, with or without combat spoons. Frankly, I think Kelley would be remiss if he didn't consider the Albino Gorilla Option. It would be great press, and I'm sure the tree hugging, save-every-animal-that-isn't-us crowd could get behind it done properly.

Hopefully though they'll not go with the new Jim Lee design on the character. I understand that they'll probably have to divert slightly away from the classic costume for the show because adaptations usually require a bit of adapting. Still, the new costume is obviously temporary and the sooner its gone, the better. That is a horrid thought though. Suppose they decide to adapt the current JMS run for the show?

Cripes, I just scared myself.

MUSIC!!

That's a wrap on Sunday. See y'all Wednesday.

Bieber's Cowboy Caterpillar Crisis!

Great Caesar's Ghost, its Friday, July 30, 2010, and I'm talking weird smack lately.

Putting the kids to bed...

"If you don't get in those beds and stay in them so help me I'll whup you both until you have to repeat pre-school!"

Dealing with cashiers...

Cashier: "How are you today, sir?"

Me: "I dunno. I had all these plans for today, but some guy rocketed to Earth as a baby from a doomed planet keeps screwing up everything? That ever happen to you?"

COMIX!!

Right now Lex Luthor is so much cooler than Superman its not even funny. ACTION COMICS #891 was the read of the week. Bobby Fresh was stunned that he was picking up a Superman book this week when I saw him at Kings. We all told him "Its not a Superman book. Its a Lex Luthor book and its awesome." Paul Cornell is just kicking complete ass on this. Right now the main Superman title is boring as hell, and really needs to take some cues from what's going on here. While Straczynski has Superman walking around dealing with "real world issues" and being kind of a douche about it, Cornell has Luthor matching wits Mister Mind in a COWBOY CATERPILLAR CRISIS! It a completely wild and all out fun tour through the brain of Lex Luthor, as well as offering a bit of a tribute to the entire Bruce Wayne bouncing through time bit. Read it, because its awesome. And Robo-Lois rules.

Quick note to anybody who wants to step up with an argument about how Straczynski's run is superior because of the realism it brings to storytelling and the intellectual content: Fuck off. If I want realism, I'll watch the news, or the History Channel. These are comic books. Superhero comic books. I want big damn action! I want asses kicked! I want evil thwarted, or at least being really freaking fun to watch. I don't want a guy who wrestled the King Angel of the Bullhost and sang the God of Evil into submission walking down the street being utterly pedestrian. OK, that note wasn't so quick.

BATMAN: THE RETURN OF BRUCE WAYNE #4 hit this week as well. The mystery of the time traveling Dark Knight goes gun-slinging as he goes up against Jonah Hex. Each issue has dealt with Wayne reclaiming an different aspect of what made him Batman. This time it dealt with his grit and dogged determination to see evil doers brought to justice. The veil is lifted a bit as we see some more clues as to The Black Glove's role in things. There are two things bothering me. Both are minor. First, we haven't seen anything of Rip's Rescue Rangers in two issues and last we left them the universe was ending. Second is the art. Not that I don't like Georges Jeanty's artwork it's just that there's so much going on and a lot of it is visual clues that I wish there was one artist to make picking up on things easier. But the tale moves onward, and so does Wayne, which may be a good thing because those super villains ain't resting while he's gone.

Speaking of Batman, DETECTIVE COMICS #867 started a new storyline which has me hooked in. David Hine is a bit hit and miss with me, but when he's got me, he's got me good. This story has nothing to do with the Morrison "The Once and Future Batman" story, so readers can jump right in. I dig it because there's a team-up with The Question that makes it look really natural like it happens all the time. I also like that we've got Scott McDaniel drawing Batman again. I loved his NIGHTWING run, and his art isn't to everyone's taste, but I've always thought he was a great fit in the Bat-corner of the DCU.

On to unpleasantness. I read WONDER WOMAN #601 so now you don't have to. This story is crap. Its actually worse than the Jodi "Derp, I dunno how to pump gas, derp" Piccoult run. Its like a really lousy Elseworlds story. And I know this isn't permanent and once this runs a ways things will be set right with WW's proper origin restored, but really we don't need to see the character drug through the gutter for people to realize how special the character is. Last issue Gail Simone gave us "Keep faith, trust to love, fight with honor, but fight to win." This month Straczynski gives us "I'm going to kill them. I'm going to kill all of them." That's on top of Hyppolyta committing suicide by jumping to a fire and burning to death as she cursed her enemies, and a thug dressed a clown in an ice cream truck expressing a desire to shoot a little boy.

Shame on you J. Michael Straczynski. Shame on you for making me leave this comic which I used to support with every bit of my geek heart.

THE BIEBER REPLACEMENT!!

Sitting around the house the other day I did some channel surfing. The loin spawn were distracted by toys so I was happy to watch something besides PBS. I landed on The Ellen Show where there was some kid on the piano getting ready to sing. People were cheering and young girls were going bonkers. The song was lame and ridiculous that some 11 year old was singing about a girl breaking his heart when he looks like he's still slightly worried about cooties. And of course he's coming out with an album. It quickly became obvious that this kid, Greyson Chance, was created in a lab in Hollywood to replace the aging Justin Bieber.

Let's face it, Bieber ain't getting any younger. He can't keep posing on those Tiger Beat covers forever. Heard a rumor he's actually driving now and this won't do. Won't be long until he's just another burned out has-been hanging onto his past as he's mistaken for a lesbian.

Chance has every advantage over Bieber. He made is big splash singing a Lady Gaga song so that's going to attract the weirdos thinking this kid has depth and soul because they think Lady Gaga music has some mysterious brilliance to it. He's got a much cooler name, which is totally wasted on a pop star and would better suite an action movie star or comic book character. Imaging preparing to due epic battle with Greyson Chance and then actually seeing the kid. It would be a bit of a let down. You prepare to do epic battle with Justin Bieber and you know just from the name that the battle is going to be less than epic. Much less.

AIRING ALL THE LAUNDRY

I dumped Facebook a while back and I'm really glad I did. More people's info got leaked to the public. Just remember this: anything you put on Facebook will be made available to public. Forget privacy settings. They're worthless. If there is something you don't want out in the public eye you're better off keeping it off the web altogether.

MUSIC!!

I'm going to continue to give you people a break from my taste in music and mine a little more from Pickle's Pantry Parlour! Enjoy.



That's it for today. Remember: TGIF. Tiny gnomes in fuchsia.

Wonder Woman dances in HELL!

Alrighty, its Friday, July 2, 2010, and today I'm getting my nerd on.

COMIX!!

OK, let's start with the big one: WONDER WOMAN #600. This of course rounds out the trifecta of centennial issues of the trinity of super-heroes, and unfortunately this one did not make it through without big funny book controversy. I'll get to that in a second, but first I want to focus on everything great about this issue.

First off, it featured some really great pin-ups by some of the hottest talent in comics. This includes work by Adam Hughes, Nicola Scott, Phil Jimenez and many others. The double page pin-up by Jimenez gets a special nod because in it we get to see almost everything related to Wonder Woman in one picture. He really outdid himself. It also has a nice little forward by Lynda Carter, which was pretty cool. The first story by Gail Simone and George Perez featured a ton of guest stars and was a who's who of the ladies of the DCU. And it wrapped around into a very fitting and quite touching little story after all the butt kicking was done. Next up was a little team-up with Power Girl thanks to Amanda Connor which was a lot of fun and a real treat. Then there was a team-up with Superman served up by Louise Simonson.

And then things get ugly.

The next story was seeming really off and weird. It was like it trying to talk about the character of Wonder Woman from the perspective of two people who didn't quite understand her but though that they did. Its supposed to be the prelude for the next Wonder Woman story. And then I see the credits. Geoff Johns: writer.

Oh crap.

And then the J. Michael Stracynski story kicks in and and I'm ready to throw up my hands in frustration. I had heard that Stracynski's THOR run had been good, so I had some consolation when I found out Gail Simone was leaving the book. And we have our new Wonder Woman. And its wrong in just about every way. I don't want to be this guy. I don't want to be the douchebag who gets pissed off when a writer decides to take a character in a different direction and gives them a new costume. But, this whole thing is just a bad idea from top to bottom.

The entire Wonder Woman story has been reimagined. Everything in that beautiful piece of work by Phil Jimenez never happened. The stories preceding this one in that very same issue high lighting everything that is just so great and awesome about the character are washed away. People used to wonder how she fought in the old costume. That's easy, the old costume was not cumbersome. She had complete freedom of movement. I'm wondering how she even gets into the new outfit.

In an interview Stracynski said that the character needed to be toughened up. The top hand-to-hand fighter in DC comics needed to be toughened up. The woman who kicks Batman's ass needed to be toughened up. She also needed to be modernized. So the character that is a link to mythology and the past in the genre needs to be modernized. Oh, and she gets a new and "improved" tragic origin now.

This the way it is set up, it seems like Wonder Woman has been dropped into some weird pocket dimension, so one she finds her way out things will return to normal. Also, hopefully this won't have an effect on Donna Troy or Wonder Girl, because if history has change in this fashion for Wonder Woman then the entire DCU is effected and not in a good way. So here's hoping the foresight has been there to keep this little experiment centered in one book.

So Stracynski is responsible for stories that will make Superman more human and Wonder Woman more modern and tough. He can go back to Marvel, the sooner the better, because he seems to not understand what works for these characters.

This while our heroes are in store for some pretty shabby treatment coming up, ACTION COMICS #890 hit the stands this week featuring none other than Lex Luthor. Its freaking awesome. While i don't care one lick about the Hal Jordan and his techni-color dance party-a-go-go which was "Blackest Night" there has been one very interesting thing come out of it: Lex Luthor has a new hobby. Penned by Paul Cornell, this Luthor is still a completely evil prick, but my God is he an enjoyable one. He's egotistical and just a complete bastard. Its like if Greg House decided, 'You know what? This whole helping people and dealing with my pain has gotten old. Its time to take over the world." Love it. Love it. LOVE IT!!

BREAK IT DOWN!!

This is what happens when reality TV goes above and beyond the call of duty. On SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE ballet dancer Alex Wong was made to do hip hop and partnered with Twitch Boss, the first guy/guy partnering the season. Alex was absolutely beside himself be cause everything he has been trained to do as a dancer had to be cast right out the window and he was partnered with one of the top hip hop dancers you're going to find. A recipe for disaster, but how did it turn out?

MUSIC!!

And now a little dedication. This one goes out to the YouTube used whole randomly sent me nine videos to let me know that Hell exists that I need to accept Jesus Christ as my personal savior. I did not watch the videos as I'm pretty sure that they contain BATMAN AND ROBIN with Schwarzenegger as Mister Freeze is its entirety. However it didn't contain this video, so I'm just helping out the misguided do-gooder.

POP QUIZ!!

1: What do you think of the new Wonder Woman costume?

2: Who is your favorite bald dude?

3: What is your favorite style of dance?

That wraps things up for today. Remember to check out UFC 116 this Saturday because the main event should be awesome. Enjoy the weekend. See you Sunday.

The DC Universe as a Living Metafictional Entity

Grant Morrison stated that he intended to prove with his series FINAL CRISIS that the DCU is a living thing. He also said he intended to have sex with it, but that's besides the point. So, was Morrison serious about the DCU being a living thing or was it mad ramblings meant to sell books? I believe it's the former. So let's examine the DCU and through it the super hero genre.

The Super hero genre and the DCU in Three Dimensions

Now, it is said of super heroes that the two ends of the spectrum are Superman and Batman and every else is somewhere in between.

Superman<---------all heroes------------="" other="" the="">Batman

There's a bit of a problem here. It's flat. Nobody likes flat fiction. That's its own problem. It's a problem relating to this subject in that nothing exists two-dimensionally. We need a three-dimensional model for this thing to exist properly.

Through this necessity we can examine the super hero genre and the parts that comprise it. The DCU offers prime examples of these three dimensions and through them some insight into the genre.

This diagram is simplistic of course, but it makes for a decent base to move from. Let's go through these dimensions briefly.

Superman represents the science, or more aptly science fiction, in this equation. A being from another planet, and a futuristic one at that. He is also considered one of the most powerful characters in comics. His nickname "The Man of Tomorrow" invokes the image of hero performing fantastic deeds in a world we can barely image, but is getting closer every day.

Wonder Woman is a direct link to mythology with her origins and powers stemming from Greek Myths. This is magic. This is the unexplainable. This it the pool from which the genre sprang from. Superman was not the first super hero. Odysseus, Gilgamesh, Arthur Pendragon, the Monkey King and many other preceded him by centuries. Wonder Woman is the representative of the past.

Batman is the best of humanity. He has taken personal tragedy and used it as a catalyst to transform himself into an ideal. His skills are vast and varied, encompassing multiple physical and academic disciplines. He has taken the lessons of his past, applied them to his constant preparation for the future and thus made himself incredibly formidable in the present.

So we have out three dimensional construct. Time to put it into motion.

Applying the Fourth Dimension

The Fourth Dimension is time. Nothing stays static. We are all moving forward on the timeline. When we are discussing movement in relation to super heroes, there's only one character that exemplifies this:

The Flash moves the genre. We have had the Golden Age, Silver Age and the modern Age of comics. The Flash has been key to each transition. The creation of Barry Allen marked the beginning of the Silver Age. Barry Allen meeting his Golden Age predecessor Jay Garrick introduced the concept of the "Multiverse". The concept of the Multiverse was shelved during the 1985-86 series "Crisis on Infinite Earths" which included the death of Barry Allen. This series also transitioned the genre out of the Silver Age.

With Barry's death, we saw Wally West take up the role. This was the first time a "sidekick" has moved on to permanently graduate up. Wally West as a character was also at the center of DCU moving past the 90s grim and gritty trend. Writer Mark Waid spent the 90s taking Wally West, who was a well written and very unlikable character, and turning him into a model of character development. This was the beginning of a mini Renaissance for the genre which led to Waid and Morrison launching JLA. The exploits of the heroes took on a scope that was usually reserved for major "events", and this was due to amazing writers pushing their way to the forefront. This was made easier by The Flash, courtesy of Mark Waid, paving the road with a red blur and lightning strike.

The Imagination of the Imaginary

Grant Morrison wrote in "Batman R.I.P." that the Fifth Dimension was Imagination. This brings us to a character that can create anything he imagines.

Green Lantern like the Flash has had different characters taking the name. The common element to these characters is that each had a ring that could manifest anything they imagine. What is fun to note here is that the three main characters to take one the role of Green Lantern also represent each of the three dimensions I wrote of earlier. The Golden Age character was Alan Scott, and his ring was powered by magic. In the Silver Age, Hal Jordan received his ring from an alien race. Kyle Rayner took up the role and although he received his ring from the same aliens he brought out a different aspect to the character in that he was an artist. It was his humanity that set him apart from the others.

So, could the Green lantern Rings have a connection to the Fifth Dimension that is home to the likes of Mister Mxyzptlk and Bat-Mite? Well, that's speculation for another time, but the possibility is there. It's fairly evident in the mechanics of the Rings. Previously, when charged, the rings could create nearly anything for twenty-four hours. Currently, it is usage to depletes the charge. Perhaps the rings tap 5th dimensional energy and the process and mechanics of tapping the source has changed.

Speaking of Mxysptlk and Mat-Mite, since the Fifth Dimension is imagination, were they created by characters within the DCU? Did Superman creat Mxyzptlk? Time to move on.

Identify the Vampiric Space God in the line-up, Please.

FINAL CRISIS crystalized the concept of something outside the genre preying upon the genre. The Multiverse changed them and then they changed the Multiverse. The Fouth Wall was broken and we were introduced to the Fifth Wall. We are shown a mechanism containing 52 universes, each containing stories. These stories influenced the Moniters, which in turn had influence in the 52.

The Multiverse or 52 is the in comic representation of the superhero genre. It is something created, which has taken on it's own life and now influences the culture. It nourishes young minds and imaginations, only to have some of those minds grow up to contribute new stories to it. It's a symbiotic relationship. The genre has a will of it's own. It has a voice speaking to us in the gutters of the comic page. It has reached out beyond it's original medium to capture new minds and imaginations.

It grows. It consumes. Yes, it even poops.

The DC Universe is at the heart of the super hero genre, and the DC Universe is alive.

Online presence immitating comics, or 52 becomes 30!

So, while i enjoy discussing comics online there comes a time when I need a break. This allows my own opinions to form without outside input, and prevents myself form being integrated into a weird e-hivemind. Now, the main place I discuss comics if Gaiaonline and specifically this thread. This thread was started by our good buddy over at Teatime Brutality based mainly off of my insane ramblings and is moderated by our good friend Linda whose comments have popped up in here from time to time and has contributed art to Tales of Night Life. What makes this little sabbatical from e-discussion interesting is that Linda and Richard are doing one at the same time, so for the month of September that thread has to do without input from the three of us.

This has of course been compared to the comic 52 as the three of us comprise the Holy Trinity of everything that is good about the internet, with the exception of porn, to which every last one of you out there should be grateful to us and send us cookies.

What's fun about this is the number of ways this ends up paralleling the events of the comic. It was a 52 issue long story in which Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman were all out of action. So how do we three line up with DC's trinity? Pretty well actually.

In terms of fandom, it's very simple. Linda is a huge Super-fan, with her collection of Supergirl memorabilia and artwork. Richard is the Bat-fan, which is obvious from reading his blog. I'm the Wonder-fan, because while I like both Superman and Batman, I'm fascinated on many levels with the character and having read the runs of both Greg Rucka and Gail Simone have no trouble gushing on at length about her.

Going a step further is where things get a little sticky. Linda is still obviously the "Super" part of the trinity in that she's still there on the site, but just not contributing. Much like Clark Kent was around but wasn't very active. However, Clark wasn't active due to his powers being gone. Linda still maintains her powers, and is currently controlling the weather. It has been said that Linda may indeed be "over-powered" that that makes her a less interesting character. I have to say that those making these assertions often speak from ignorance having never read Linda.

Which brings us to myself and Richard. Linda has told me that I must be Batman, having removed myself from active discussion to process my experiences and media inputs to emerge later to become a better rounded individual with a back-up personality and that Richard is Wonder Woman since he broke that one guy's neck for insisting that BATMAN #666 was not canon. Now to be fair, the guy did have it coming.

But is this accurate? Richard is indeed repairing back to Panda Narbat for his intellectual sabbatical and while he may not be sitting in a cave I'm sure he'd have no objection to sitting blissfully in a park, contemplating Doctor Who with the shape provided by Lucy Pinder's bosoms keeping the harsh sunlight from him. I'm currently not wanted by any Government agencies to the point where the jerks won't even return my calls anymore.

So, while it is difficult to pin down which of us is indeed an Amazon, it's easy to draw comparisons between both Richard and myself to the Dark Knight. Obviously we both have butlers and young sidekicks. What is interesting is that I seem to be representing the pre-52 Batman being slightly paranoid and obvious being teh gratest fiter on teh intarwub. Total e-ninja, but not in the accurate comparison, only in the BS Hollywood ninja sense. Richard represents the post-52 Batman with research, rationality and hope with his meticulous study of the character and events surrounding him. Also Richard has prep-time and is invincible due to it. It's also popular opinion that there is no real Richard, it's a bunch of people, much like the idea among Gotham criminals and citizens that there's an army of Batmen. So this begs the question: after this sabbatical, will I become Richard? Will Richard move on to be stuck in the middle of his mum leading an ill conceived and poorly written assault on America as told by Jodi Piccoult? These are questions on time will answer.

Of course after this is over and we've returned to our discussions in that thread we will likely have to deal with the Richard identity thing. This will most likely happen as his illegitimate son that he had with the daughter of an eco-terrorist shows up, he'll be lured to mansion with many international versions of Richard in an attempt to kill them all, which will be the first overt step by the devil to destroy Richard. All the while an evil woman with a really obvious name will be attempting to seduce and destroy him. After defeating the devil, Richard will be dropped through a series of websites like Gaiaonline, but much suckier, and end up in 2003 Go-Gaia and everyone will think he's dead, but really he's in a website with much less items for his avatar. This will of course prompt many people to try to be Richard.

I'd make many similar comments about Linda in comparison to Superman, but I doubt he'd want her life to be anywhere conceivably near to anything Geoff Johns has ever written.

There you go. A full month's worth of nerd-dom all in one post.

Wonder Woman gets animated

I sat down this evening to go through the two-disc special edition of the WONDER WOMAN DVD animated feature that came out this week. The feature itself was top notch. Gail Simone and Michael Jelenic lay our a compelling version of Wonder Woman's origin that stays very true to the original works of William Moulton Marston. The voice work in this piece was an absolute joy. Keri Russell was very enjoyable as Diana, and great the character strength as well as femininity. Alfred Molina was remarkable as the voice of Ares. Molina brings a sophistication to the character that could have easily been portrayed as a frothing beast. I have to say, I think the show was stolen was Nathan Fillion as Steve Trevor. Fillion's comedic timing is flawless as always and he delived a standout performance that played very well again Russell's Diana.

The story itself was just what I wanted from it. It was packed with great action sequences. Diana is depicted as a great warrior, but also as a woman of great compassion. She's very guarded of herself in the world, especially against the often hilarious advances of Trevor, yet at the same time she's at heart a very gentle soul. There's an incredibly charming scene with a little girl that just reeks of Simone's influence that brought a smile to my face.

The two disc edition is worth the little bit extra for the documentaries. They delve greatly into not only the history of the character, but her place in mythology and the Feminist Movement. They also talk a great deal about Marston, who was truly ahead of his time in the character's creation. I did find Dan DiDio's appearance in the extras talking about DC's progress attitude towards it's characters to be highly hypocritical considering his current mandates on many of the intellectual properties. Also, a few of the experts they talked to came off as kooks. However, it's well balanced out by the sheer amount of great information presented.

It's a great addition to my DVD collection. Kudos to everyone who worked on it.

Leaving well enough alone

We live in an age of multimedia cross-marketing saturation bombing. It's almost to the point where we don't have consumers, we have targets. Think about that the next time you hear the term "target audience". As if some record producer or artist agent or webcomic writer who spews forth his half crazed opinions on his blog is perched upon the water tower overlooking the vast mass consciousness of the developing mono-culture picking and choosing the recipients of their .50 caliber meme which will be fired through the media of their choice.

And it's not like we're sitting up in our water towers, sucking down anything caffeinated or mind altering that we can get our hands on, and only having to use one weapon of thought attack at our disposal. Oh no children, we've got the whole toy store at our disposal. Movies, books, television, radio, CDs, DVDs, MP3s, Blue-Ray, broadband, satellites skimming over the Ionosphere for the sole purpose of getting our ideas into your heads, or make your fillings sing "hey nani nani". Whichever comes first.

And some people just can't get enough. The movie isn't enough. They need the soundtrack downloaded onto their Ipod, the same one that has the movie's trailer which they downloaded when it somehow, as if by magic, got leaked onto the web. Wait, there's a book adaption? Got to get that to! It doesn't matter that the movie in question is an adaption of a novel to begin with. Now you have to wait for months for the DVD, but not that piece of shit that's coming out a couple of months later, NO YOU FOOLISH BASTARD, it's got to be the special edition 5 disc hi-def box set with the little book and commemorative paperweight!

There's an animated WONDER WOMAN movie coming soon, to which I say "Yay". I'll be buying it. However, in a little online discussion doom was reigned upon us with the statement, "That doesn't solve the problem of there not being a live action Wonder Woman movie."

Fuck the economy and tell the entire Middle East to sod off! Get Obama on the phone! We need a damn Wonder Woman live action movie, because damn it all we're entitled to have our every whim catered to.

This is a problem? THIS? No, CATWOMAN was a problem. This is just a matter of no one can pull off the role. And don't bother leaving comments about Lucy Lawless. That ship sailed about ten years ago. Let her do the animated voice like she did in NEW FRONTIER.

WATCHMEN is getting set to be butchered on the screen. I caught some people clamoring about doing a KINGDOM COME movie. Here's where we hit the problem.

Some works lose their magic in translation. NEW FRONTIER was great, but so much got cut out when the work got animated that it felt like they just when from Darwin Cooke's outline. There's even more stuff going on in WATCHMEN and KINGDOM COME that there's no way you can get a decent translation of the work compiled into a two to three hour movie. There's also not enough there to warrant a series of films. And think about one of the main strengths of KINGDOM COME: the art. Alex Ross ain't gonna be painting those animation cells.

Some works can translate well. SIN CITY and 300 proved that. The difference is that there's room to work with them. They had to add a lot to 300 to flesh it out for the movie. SIN CITY faithfully adapted multiple limited series into one movie. The thing is, while I love SIN CITY, we are not talking about a terribly dense work. It's fairly light, a popcorn read. That's not an insult, I love popcorn reading.

Also intellectual properties like BATMAN and SPIDER-MAN are easily adapted because there a lot of source material for the producers to cull from. They can make it work. Adapting a series like WATCHMEN, or the numerous other Alan Moore properties of which he won't even allow his name to be attached to the adaptations, and the producers are hand cuffed. The creators only produced a set amount of source material and it often isn't much. It's way too easy to go off the reservation and piss off the audience you were hoping to cater to.

Tricksy things, those target audiences. Blast them right and they'll worship you with devotion, praise and money. However if your aim is off, you've got a pissed off beast which you've disturbed and it's never easy to calm them down.

As humans it's in our nature to adapt. Ideas must adapt meet the rigors of the world. Art does not adapt. The world adapts to art. People adapt to art. Great glowing ideas that change the minds, hearts and souls of all who come in contact with them, which drive their creators to near madness in the best of conditions, in their quest to formulate and express them. And for every single one of these wonderful ideas, there's a hundred people looking to change it so that they can make a buck off it.

Wonder Woman

WONDER WOMAN was easily the read of the week. Gail Simone has been doing a great job since she took over the writing duties. I haven't been very excited about the relaunch of the title, especially since it was without Greg Rucka. Rucka's run was a brilliant handling of the character and I judge all the other handlings of the character against it.

Wonder Woman is considered one of the "Big Three" of DC Comics along with Superman and batman, but too often doesn't get the respect she's due. The character is the top hand-to-hand fighter in DC comics who has handed Batman his cape and cowl repeatedly. Yet still fan clamor for Batman badassery.

Maybe she's more difficult to relate to. She likens more to the heroes of Greek Mythology than the spandex crowd. She's had to face challenges of the 'gods' as well as mortal threats. Often these challenges come in finding favor with her patrons. She acts as the champion for her godly patrons, but at the same time is subject to their whims.

Wonder Woman was created by William Moulton Marston, the same person who invented the lie detector. Marston also had theories about feminism involving bondage, which hopefully I'll find a link to which explains things much better than I could. So, Wonder Woman carries a Lasso of Truth which works as a lie detector. Does that mean that there are elements of bondage to the character? Yes, but not like one would think. The character has to deal with ritual bondage. As mentioned above she has to maintain favor with her patrons, sometimes even having to ask there permission before acting. This is her faith, she honors it and celebrates it, welcoming the trials set before her.

There's been talk that maybe the character would be better accepted if she took a darker turn. She is an Amazon, so why isn't she a bit more vicious? The character exudes grace. Something I've noticed in my years in martial arts. The tougher the fighter, the less they feel a need to prove it. The character is a great warrior, and she knows it. As such there is no need at act as though she needs to prove it.

I've discussed 'good feminism' versus 'bad feminism'. The conversation came up while watching BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER. 'Good feminism' means that strengths of women are displayed and accepted without needing to make men look bad. I think the best catchphrase for 'bad feminism' I've ever heard is "The best man for any job is a woman". Buffy like Wonder Woman is a very strong and capable character. Though both are often surrounded by men they are not damsels in distress, but at the same time they don't make the men in their lives feel inferior simply due to a Y chromosome.

So there you have it. A strong woman in comics who doesn't have to prove it to anyone and carries herself always with grace. And if that's not enough for you g out and buy the comic, the talking albino gorillas are pure awesome.