Where mah britches?

While waiting to see the doctor yesterday at Patient First I heard two of the staffers (Not sure if the women were doctors or nurses) discussing pants hitting the floor. I'm fairly certain they were discussing something American Idol related. I've heard buzz about an older fellow singing a song making fun of the trend of wearing pants so baggy that they hang off off the wearer, revealing their underwear. For the record, I do indeed support the mockery of this "fashion trend" as it was begun in prison and was a way to let other prisoners know you were ready to make that social leap to "prison bitch", so yes the young people participating in this trend are morons on multiple levels.

The medical staffers continued to voice their disapproval of various types of pants bringing the topic around to guys wearing "skinny" jeans. This brings us to another idiotic trend, boys dressing like girls. I remember distinctly being at the Hunt Club one year for their Haunted Hayride Halloween event and spotting a teenage couple holding hands. My wife and I were surprised thinking we'd spotted a pair of teenage lesbians in a little public display of affection. But no, one of the teenagers was indeed a boy wearing girl's jeans and sporting a very bad androgynous haircut. One or both of these teens were very confused. Either the girl was a lesbian and didn't want to admit it to herself so she was dating a boy who was impersonating a girl because then she wasn't really gay. Perhaps her family was more open to their daughter dating a transvestite than having a homosexual relationship. It could be the boy was in the closet and while he wanted to look like a girl, he was quite ready to just break down and start dating boys. Although I could be wrong and maybe the youngster was indeed a transvestite and couldn't find a pretty dress to wear to a hayride that would be warm enough for the late October evening, and the young lady was just being supportive. I may never know. I do know that I've seen way too many boys wearing girl's jeans.

So, as the medical staff were waxing on about the subject I felt it was time to add my two cents.

"Ladies, behold, the happy medium. My carpenter jeans are loose enough to allow freedom of movement. I'm comfortable and can climb over things without getting snagged on things or have my waist squeezed until I can no longer breathe. They also have the proper fit in the proper areas for anyone who hates to see me go, but likes to watch me leave. And may I draw your attentions to my retro use of a belt being used to hold my pants in their proper place preventing anyone from seeing my drawers without buys me dinner first."

The medical staff approved.


Kristiine Havener said...

Aw, be nice to the scene kids. They are indier then thou.

Marty Nozz said...

I'm very nice to them. i don't laugh directly in their faces.

I do it behind their backs like a civilized person.