Kinda saw that one coming

I was stuck watching CNN while working in a house yesterday because we were worried that if we changed the channel to something more interesting, like Cartoon Network, we wouldn't be able to get the TV back to the proper channel and the homeowners seem to really like their news stations. Work was going alright and then the story broke about the loon that flew his plane into the building in Texas.

First thought: "Wow. Pretty scary."

Then the report came across that there were federal offices in the building.

Second thought: "Possible terrorist strike."

Then it was reported that it was IRS offices.

Conclusion: "Some one was really pissed off about their taxes."

Three hours later, turns out I was right. They even had that nut's manifesto. Note to everyone: if someone has a manifesto, they often should be given a wide birth, and probably watched carefully.

This was pretty weak reporting. Fox news Radio was leaps and bounds ahead of what CNN had. I'm not being partisan here, I'm commenting on the quality of reporting. It was like CNN was sitting there filming and talking to everyone that would speak to them and just waiting for the story to come out. By the time I was getting my lunch Fox was reporting that they'd found the guy's name, spoken to his family and confirmed that he was the nut in question.

The eye witness reports on CNN were just awful. "Well, I was getting my Lexus serviced and...." DOUCHE! Just had to tell everyone you drive a Lexus, didn't you! I'm just waiting for the day when a news story like this hits and the eye witness is just completely over the top.

Witness: "Well, I was in an alley near the scene getting a blowjob from some guy I met in Starbucks about an hour ago. I heard the plane as it approached." (Note: I can say "blowjob" here because the USA Network can show Julia Roberts saying it on a movie just before lunchtime.)

CNN reporter: "Did the plane sound odd to you? Like it was too close or if it sounded like it had engine trouble?"

Witness: "Oh, I don't know. I was more interested in whatever-his-name-was and my latte. Both were fabulous."

CNN reporter: "What was your reaction when the plane made impact?"

Witness: "I screamed."

CNN reporter: "The impact was that frightening?"

Witness: "Not really, but it hit, he bit. He ran away, and when I finally came out of alley after crying for a good twenty minutes I saw the smoke and you guys. I just thought I'd come over see what was going on because there's cameras and stuff."

CNN reporter: "Oh. Well thank you for you time."

Witness: "My pleasure. I'm going to go see if this needs stitches now."

2 comments:

Miguel said...

Kinda reminds me of the time when this woman almost bit off her husband's penis while he was cooking blueberry pancakes for breakfast.

CNN needs to step up their game.

Marty Nozz said...

Journalism as a whole needs to step up their game. They've gotten too used to reporting gossip and not news. Everyone's fascinated with Tiger Woods but the assassination of a Hamas leader slips under the radar.