Bring on summer!

I am a man with needs. My needs change with the seasons. In the fall I need caramel apples and a TV Guide. In the winter I need chicken and dumplings and thermal underwear. In the spring a break from too many sweets due to holidays and birthdays. In summer I have two great needs. One of these needs has not been met in quite a while. In my youth these needs were met every summer thanks in no small part to my father, and it seems that for the first time in a long time this summer will see these needs met again.

What do I need in summer?

COCA-COLA AND SHIT BLOWIN' UP!

I haven't been this excited about movies coming out in years. Even with 2008 when the box office was swamped by funny book flicks I wasn't this excited. Frankly I'm over being besieged with big screen adaptations featuring character deconstruction so we can get at the heart of why someone would fight crime. Hell, I'm not terribly excited by the comic book movies that are coming out this year and there's four of them. The only one that I'm even remotely interested in is IRONMAN 2 and that's because the trailer shows Tony Stark telling Congress something most Americans want to tell Congress, "No, you assholes, you can't have my stuff." I'm paraphrasing of course. In the actual movie Robert Downey J.r drops a string of f-bombs at them and kicks a Senator in the nuts. It's true. I read it on the internet.

But this summer, stuff blows up. You want to know what kind of stuff will be blowing up? Well I ganked some videos from Yahoo just to let you know. I skipped the KNIGHT AND DAY one because I'm bored with Tom Cruise right now.

OK, I'll tell you straight, I'm not the biggest Angelina Jolie fan. She's everywhere and I'm burnt out. Loved her in HACKERS, kinda didn't care after that, but she was hell on wheels in MR. AND MRS. SMITH. SALT has caught my interest. This looks like something really cool. I like movies that make my brain turn wondering what's really going on. That and I like spy stuff. So Angelina Jolie, meh. Angelina Jolie as a government agent who may be a double agent or may be being set up with chaos ensuing, I do believe I am in.

When I was a kid trying to negotiate a later bed time my dad made me a deal. If I could stay up an hour later and still get up for school without a problem one night a week for about a month he'd move my bedtime back. Well that night had to be when THE A-TEAM was on. Yes, I know Hollywood has been mining old TV shows for fodder to adapt and often its pretty ridiculous, but this time its ridonkeykongulous. HOLY CRAP! This look like everything I could possibly want in a Summer flick. Screw nostalgia, this has dudes kicking ass and blowing stuff up! What could possibly be better this Summer than this?

Oh wait...

I squealed. I squealed like a little girl with new Barbie Doll. I'm squealing right now as I'm typing this. The windows are open. The neighbors look concerned. This is actually the more serious trailer. There's another one floating around that's complete nuts and over the top. I think Steven Seagal and Jean Claude Van Damme and somewhere crying wondering why they weren't allowed to play too.

Now if you'll excuse me, I shall go enjoy my Easter an grin like a loon for the rest of the day.