Politics goes full contact

2010 is going to be an all out political brawl. Our Pop Star-n-chief has been exposed and is disparately trying to maintain his image and pass more of his agenda through. He's getting criticizes more than ever and is well on his way to surpassing Jimmy Carter as the biggest flop to hold that office. He's doing his State of the Union Address in which we'll get to watch him look back and forth between his precious teleprompters like, as Mark Stein put it, "he's at Wimbledon watching the world's slowest match".

Yesterday in the mail we got a little something from our Congressman. Yay for junk mail, but at least this one was useful. It told us, in print, exactly where this guy stands. If what he has on there sounds good to us then he's the guy to vote for. The Missus and myself had a brief chat about it going through the items on his list. This is also important because Congress is going to be going out of their ever-loving minds with this election and this was the first strike upon the Nozz Compound.

PREPARE YOURSELVES, CHILDREN! THE POLITICOS ARE COMING!

I'm expecting shenanigans on the level of TRANSMETROPOLITAN. The Democrats are as popular as syphilis right now, but they're all over the place. The Republicans are seeing the error of spending money like Oprah and have a tangible goal. So we have a few hundred power grabbing, constituent fucking, bullshit artists playing musical chairs and they're all looking at you.

Yes you. The person reading this. Unless it's Mark or Richard. They're safe. Until we annex their countries to get more votes.

They're coming to your TV to tell you about how someone else sodomizes livestock and lies about issues. They're coming to talk radio to reach through the airwaves, pinch your nose close, and when you open your mouth to gasp for air they're gonna shove as much propaganda down you're throat as possible. There's going to be so much stuff taken out of context that reality will lose all meaning!

THE CENTER CANNOT HOLD! YOU'RE GOING TO FALL RIGHT OR LEFT! PREPARE FOR IMPACT!

Warren Ellis compared modern politics to Sumo wrestling. Deep traditions with tons of ceremony that has devolved into "get the other fat fucker out of the ring as quickly as possible."

WELCOME TO THE 2010 CONGRESSIONAL BASHIO!