Not wanting to go there.

I'm concerned right now. As I've made clear, I'm doing a project on Twitter. I'd been talking with a friend of mine about him doing a review of the project for a prominent website that reviews such things. He specializes in comics.

The concerning part comes from him getting flack about covering things in the new media. Webcomics and online projects such as mine are not what the readers or editors want to see. They want "what sells". Now, if the readers have spoken and it's clear that there is not interest on that site in new media work, then that's fine. Shortsighted, but fine.

There's a problem. The medium is going online whether fans like it or not. Sure DC, Marvel and the other companies will all be around, but the new Indy scene is indeed online. The next crop of talent that will be working for the big guns will be pulled from online. It costs much less to publish online than it does to print books. As much as I love the printed page, this is just the facts of the matter. Welcome to the future.

And of course there's going to be opposition. There's always opposition to change of any sort. But the answer isn't to just ignore what is out there, because it's coming for you whether you like it or not. Sinfest just got picked by Dark Horse this year. It's already begun. We are in a time where people can throw their work to the masses with a click of a mouse. This is something to be celebrated, not to be snubbed.

Time to wake up, fanboys. The future knocking at the door.

i r famous riter!

Got interviewed the other day. The interviewed did a wonderful job of turning my incoherent ramblings into something readable. This is an entire new experience for me. Still processing the notion that now only would someone actually give a crap about what I have to say but record and transcribe it. Will it lead to more readers? I don't know. Still, I can say that someone interviewed me.

Sometimes life is flat out weird.

Learning fast

Kinda of had to the last few days. With my Twitter plan getting ready to launch, the last thing on the to do list was to get a phone that would let me update from wherever I am. Cue me at the T-Mobile store getting Blackberry Curve 8320. Having this thing is definitely me living beyond my raising. I'm pretty much two steps up from caveman status when it comes to technology.

I love getting my cell phone upgraded. It's such a rare event that the people at T-Mobile just look at my old phone in awe, amazed that it's still working. "Wow. This thing is old." is the invariable response I get.

So with two days to go I set about learning how to update twitter with the phone. It was a fairly painless process. There's tons of other things I'm sure I could do with this phone, and maybe one day I'll attempt to figure them out, but for now, I can make phone calls, update Twitter and play 'Block smasher' or whatever the game on there is called.

Onward and the game is afoot. Due to good support from friends and talking about the project I already a few people following the Twitter account before I began the story. The numbers have gone up fairly steadily. They're not skyrocketing, but I didn't expect that to happen. Hopefully word will spread and hopefully this'll get some notice for Kat who has been great through the entire process.

I've also learned on Twitter that "Yay! New Follower!" is trumped by "Yay! New Follower and they're a real person!" Pesky bots.

I've been punished

I have not been diligent in my worship of television. And now due to my lapse TV has sent Wendy Williams to punish me. TV has warned of this for weeks. It kept showing her in obnoxiously bad promo spots and telling me she was coming. It's all my fault. I didn't pay attention.

Now the bitch has taken TMZ and Scrubs away from me.

I have not the first clue about anything related to Wendy Williams, aside from she makes really horrible promo spots and has a talk show. Still I wish her show to get the lowest ratings possible and it to be sent to the abyss of cable access never to be seen on my television ever again.

Now I'm stuck watching Everybody Loves Raymond during my dinner hour. I don't love Raymond. Nothing against Raymond, but the show title is false advertising.

I only have a handful of channels. Yes, I'm one of those people who does not have cable nor satellite television and has one of those little converter boxes on top of his TV. Now, it's bad enough I'm stuck with sucky digital television, but we're all in the same boat there. Still I have only a handful of stations. This isn't a problem because there's only a few shows I care about. The times don't really matter except for breakfast and dinner times, because I want something enjoyable on right them. Breakfast time is no problem because I get to watch The Daily Buzz, laugh with Mitch and Andy and drool over Holly. Good times. Unfortunately now with the invasion of Wendy Williams I'm left with absolutely nothing enjoyable on at dinner time.

So I am making a burnt offering to television on a pyre of old VHS tapes of Pokémon. Hopefully television will accept my offering and return TMZ and Scrubs to me, and banish Wendy Williams back to wherever the hell she came from. I could probably Google her and figure out what she's doing on my TV, but that would involve effort and me actually caring about Wendy Williams.

Falling fast

I find it highly disturbing that I referred to my Google ads as a "tapeworm" and currently there's an ad for a restaurant big as life and full color. Note to self: never ever eat there.

I spent yesterday evening barely coherent. My mind's ability to process information had somehow become compromised. Maybe my brain just needed to cool. The benevolent internet somehow sensed this and repeated crashed Firefox in an effort to shield me from overload and send me to bed.

Or it just didn't want me to know Frank Mir lost last night.

It was a very weird state to be in. I've got enough irons in the fire that I should completely manic at this point. I will be heading for the Chicago Comic-Con in a few weeks and that's pretty huge for me. It was as if all of that was a dream last night. like it was happening to a character I was writing and not me. This would be the point where I write some tripe about we are all the writers of our own story and blah, blah, blah.

All that said and done, it's time to make the final preparations for the Twitter thing. I've also got a tournament to host next week. So it's not a time to be muddle headed.

Also, I'm pissed that the chubby v-blogger who was railing like a nut about Transformers removed the video from Youtube. That stuff was classic! Oh well. maybe he got the hint that what he did really wasn't the way to go, learned his lesson and getting his act together.

Pfft. Yeah right.

Over the edge

As my brain goes careening down the Information Superhighway checking for thought police speed traps and bouncing over blood stoppingly inane ideas that have formed intellectual black holes of pure stupid, I have notice that the Internet as a sentient entity has begun to worry.

Behold my mighty run-on sentence.

Onward, I have my lovely Google ads on the side of the blog which have amassed me the monetary sum of squat. So, why do I keep the little eyesores around? Because they worry about me.

Now, they change on a regular basis, but at present (after listing Michael Jackson conspiracy theories and dead people that annoy me) there are not one but two (2, dos, ni, II) advertisements for psychotherapy.

I know what you are thinking.

No really. I do. Richard is thinking about Batman right now. Chris is thinking about beer and shooting things with his nail gun. Kristie is thinking about Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Mark is wondering how I'm doing this. Blake is thinking "Holy shit, Mart-o finally snapped."

I'm keeping my Google ads because they care about me. They worry about my health and well-being. And if my brain shorts and I go on a Slurpee driven rampage then I can't make these blog posts for all five of you to read. Then me Google ads will be in suspended animation, unable to glean new things to adapt to. They're rather parasitic that way. My lovely little text tapeworms.

Onwards to Twitter and from there Chicago. Because Google ads have told me to do these things.

Annoying dead people: the TOP TEN!

10: Princess Diana: Way to steal Mother Theresa's thunder.

9: Anna Nicole Smith: Why did anyone care? Her cup size was most interesting thing about her.

8: Tupak: Nothing boosts record sales like dying.

7: Fast zombies: Those fuckers are cheating.

6: Lestat: I blame him for all lame vampires, especially the sparkly ones.

5: Jean Grey: Make up your mind! Either stay dead or quit dying every five years!

4: Cobain: Why am I still subjected to his music on stations that supposedly feature new music?


2: Michael Jackson: When all is said and done the fans and media will remember the details of his life that are as whitewashed as his skin.

1: Hitler: Way to ruin the Charlie Chaplin moustache for everyone. Jerk.

Marty versus V-Blogging

I love Youtube. Love it, love it, love it all the live long day. I get to watch martial arts clips and other fun stuff. I think it's really great how people can use it to share funny videos they've gotten or even use it to show off short films they've made. And yes now people have gone to the next level of Blogging and done video blogs to put on Youtube. Now there's nothing at all wrong with this, but if you're going to do it, you need to do it correctly.

It's little things that make these video blogs work. Looking presentable, having something interesting to say, being able to speak clearly, not going "um" before every sentence. If you have a nifty backdrop, that's cool. Having a 'theme' so regular viewers know what to expect is a plus. It doesn't take a ton of effort to do one of these, but putting in effort really does make these pop.

But there are some major things you should avoid doing.

Wow, is that guy pissed!

Here's the part where I'm to be chastised and told that she should not be judged on her appearance. Sorry, if she didn't want to be judged on her appearance SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE MADE VIDEOS AND PUT THEM ON YOUTUBE! She could just type her thoughts and feeling out and posted them like I'm doing here. But if she absolutely must make video blogs then I have a few tips to help her get rid of the pesky comments that seem to be plaguing her:

1) Make-up
2) A more flattering haircut
3) Not being a nut

And the "you'll be lucky" bit she has is a killer. This isn't pro-rasslin'. She's not going to confront these people making fun of her online in a tables, ladders and chairs match. The moment you start talking tough and making threats, you lose.

Warning: the video below contains harsh language and a moron.

Yeah. Video blog arguing. Not debating, arguing. You can be passionate about a subject. You can speak and let your emotions show. Having a tantrum doesn't accomplish anything. Hollering "OK?" after every sentence doesn't make your opinions any more forceful or give them any more weight. So, this guy winds up the big loser in his video war. Had he spoken calmly and laid out clear points instead of yelling how THE DARK KNIGHT is the greatest movie ever made, he might have gotten a little traction behind his argument and come out looking at least a little credible. Having the only adjective in your verbal arsenal be "fucking" doesn't help either.

These are just examples. There plenty of others out there and they're not hard to find. As for me, I won't be video blogging any time soon. I'm perfectly happy typing my opinions. Besides, no one wants to look at my mug as I ramble on about Batman anyhow.

But really it's my own ego tat won't let me do it, because I know I'll never be as good at it as this guy:

The Goblin abides.