The Fanboy Dictionary

They are out there and in case anyone out there is wondering what the hell they're ranting about, here's a helpful list of terms for you.

*BANDWAGONAGEDDON: n: the utter destruction of something good due to bad ideas being blindly followed

*CHEATING: v: the practice of using tactics that are deemed underhanded that even though villains do it on a regular basis only is advantageous when done by the hero

"Batman would beat Superman because he cheats."

*EDUCATIONAL: adj: used to describe any work that depicts how horrible life really is and should be given to kids to prepare them for the real world

"'The Killing Joke' is educational because it teaches you that it only takes one bad day to turn you into a serial killer and you need to watch out for those."

*FANBOY: n: one who reads comics and has such a brilliant understanding of them that the opinions of others are worthless unless they totally agree with him

*INDEPENDENT: adj: used to describe any comic book not published by Marvel Comics or DC Comics

"My favorite independent comics are 'Sin City", 'Hellboy' and 'Spawn'."

*ONLY: adj: used to describe superiority of a character over any other characters carrying the same name

"Hal Jordan is the only Green Lantern"

*PERFECT: adj: may only be used to describe the artwork of Jim Lee

*PROOF: n: a fact that supports an argument, inferior to the opinion of the Fanboy

"Your proof that Stan Lee did not work at Marvel when Captain America was created is meaningless. Everyone know that Lee created Cap."

*REALISM: n: the addition of horrible acts of violence in comic books to reflect how terrible the outside world really is

"Sue Dibny getting raped adds realism to 'Identity Crisis' because rape really happens."

*WIZARD: n: the holy text, on sale monthly, not to be argued against despite utter lack of any journalistic merit

"'Catwoman' was a great movie because Wizard said so."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Extremely informative, thanks!