It's just too stupid for words sometimes.

It's no secret that I would love to just write and draw all day long and make a living at it. Unfortunately Chris and I are still working our day jobs and spending whatever free time we can find to produce content for our loyal readers. We both like our jobs, and our employeers have been very supportive of our efforts. Still it would be nice to be making some coin for our creative efforts, so when I heard of some possible paying work through the grapevine I checked it out by way of an inquiring e-mail. Sure enough I got a response.



there are fourteen positions,...two are photography,...three are colorists in photoshop cs. and the remaining are artists & writers. i would have to first see samples of black n white work,for artists,different layers of photoshop work for colorists. if you are under the age of seventeen,we ask that u send a parental permission slip back signed ,after we send it to you.(if we are to hire you.)if you are over the age of seventeen,we only require you to sign a contract, and two confidentiality agreements,...and tell us where to send the check. we prefer you to have a p.o.box,...but if not we can work around it. the legal documents are to be governed by the state of Missouri. if you are a creator/writer,...i ask that you copyright/trademark your characters through a law firm first,before submitting them. we will take twenty percent of the royalties for any work published,and you get to keep eighty percent. but for any movies made off of said property,it is reversed.as we are paying for equipment/c.g.i. effects. also any action figures that are made in the likeness of your copyrights,is forty percent for you,and the rest goes to our company. we pay seventy five dollars per page for foreground art. there are thirty three pages per book. there is more for posters,and advertisements.background art pays one hundred dollars per page. there will be raises,when we actually get to where we can give them. colorists get one hundred fifty dollars starting out. i am mainly wanting people willing to sign a ten year contract. meaning if you are good and fast enough to complete ten years worth of work in two years,...great. but the contract states that you will complete ten years worth,or i am able to sue for any royalties i feel i would have made off of your work.


Sweet mother of pearl! An offer of indentured servitude complete with a threat of legal action if I don't keep crankin' out the work? Where do I sign up? Yes, I know the above was completely horrible to read, but I suffered through it and by golly so can you. Now, you may be wondering why I'd apply to a company run by what seems to be a fourteen year old with delusions of grandeur or why I'd continue to e-mail him. It's because frankly, this was too good to let go away. And just so everyone's clear on that ten year contract, basically, if his company goes tits up in the pool in a year and I go on to get paying work for a another company, he's saying he can go after what I make. For the record, average exclusive contracts with companies is two years.


until i see some art from you,..and you have signed the confidentiality agreements,...i cant give any copyrighted material out. im under contract. so just draw me some pictures of: batman...wonder woman...hulk...flash,...spider-man...aquaman ...hawk man,...witchblade...lara croft...and donna troy. and send them when u can. you can send line art un inked,and copies inked,...as if hired, u will either have to learn to draw in ink,...or ink your own stuff. we aren't hiring inkers....most good photoshop colorists can color line art without it now. and if hired i need something to prove age.

Ah, so I just need to crank out ten pieces for him. In lieu of that I submitted a couple of older pieces, one of DC's Metamorpho which was a sequential and a Pin up of Marvel's Tigra. I had to do something. What kind of clandestine secrets would I be privy to once I had signed the confidentiality agreement? Also note that he didn't ask me for any sequential art at all. If you're going to work for any company, they're going to want to see sequentials. I did ask if I really had to draw all of those characters he mentioned, because it was obvious to me that this was going to go no where and I did not feel like drawing all of those characters just to see what would happen.

all of them would be required,...to gauge what u could work on for me....the metamorpho one was funny,lol.... but how good are u at archangels?? i have a series that focuses on the fallen 3rd of heaven....some of them become good,and are attacked by their evil piers. i intend multiple artists to work on nine issue stints on the title...and am rotating.....as for proof of age,on hiring u i would need a photocopy of ur drivers license. u can omit the ss number,we don't require it.

As much as he'd like proof of age, I'd rather get proof of existence first. My Google-jitsu was unable to find anything on this guy. Frankly, I was shocked that he had not Googled me. Him and his company were complete ghosts. There's nothing about them on the grid except for a Geek dating service site profile and an account of Gaia online referring to himself as "Deffiant". It seems he's got a big thing for mythology and archangels. I asked for more information about his company.

the company is a just starting out one. my backers,...the people that are willing to pay me the money i need for the equipment i need to make copies,and distribute said merchandise wont allow anything promotion wise for the moment. they already have invested a few thousand for programs,and software,..as well as paper,ink,...and a few other things needed. i wont, as of my binding contract with them,be able to have a website,until the artists ive already hired get nine full issues of what they are currently working on done. then we can begin the promotion process. for now though they want everything kept secret. i don't have the money/capital to do this without them,...so i am not going to do anything to test their patience. they have researched the market, and found it to be untrustworthy when it comes to copyright information. this is why they wont give but very little information out,..without proper legal documentation signed first. there are thirty three pages of art per book. four pages of ads in the back of the book,...so that the story is not interrupted. the archangel book is the only one i am allowticated to discuss to a point,...as no one can copyright/trademark Thor,gods,or religion. they can just copyright their versions of said material.

"Allowticated" is my new favorite imaginary word. Also, this is the most intense marketing ploy I've ever encountered. No one can know exactly what's going on unless they sign that confidentiality agreement. No website. No promotions. I have to wonder if the basement he lives in has the windows boarded up so that no one could possibly look in and uncover his secrets. Still, I pressed. I cranked out three pages of sequentials featuring an archangel battling a demon. I'm planning on posting them up eventually in the art section of Duck and Cover Studios. And when I say cranked out, I did them in one day. I had finished my Night Life work and spent the day banging out the pages to be scanned and sent to him that night.

not bad,...lol...the way we do things are very different....first we draw the heroes/angels,in multiple poses separate. then we draw the villains/other angels on a separate sheet of paper. we don't combine them and make panels,until after the backgrounds are in,and all artwork is colored.(kind of like animation cell art: meaning we don't let artists do the panels). they are created with a program that just recently came out,..called comic book creator. this allows for full images to be drawn,..instead of half of the hero,..or villain,or them being covered by a fist hitting them,so that the images can be mirrored in photoshop,and then re-colored,and resized and re utilized...sometimes as cover,splash page, or poster art. also this book takes place in multiple time periods. so to blend in,the angels wear anything from trench coats,to roman garb,to civil war tunics,to future tech armor,to t-shirts. if we hire you, its 33 pages a book,everything drawn separately, usually nine issue story arcs,and we will need proof of age,and confidentiality agreements signed.artists to study are: mike turner,who died Friday night,he created fathom,and soulfire,and was co-creator of witchblade. he was 37. marc sylvestri,and jim lee. study them,and the anatomy. we do not want copy art,but we do not want cartoons either. if you still want the job we will still need to see a few more submissions. don't worry about panels. just draw poses. i do like the way u do the fire for the sword.work on foreshortening ,the closer objects appear in comic book art mean bigger.

Thank God someone finally explained foreshortening to me! I'm destined for greatness now! Especially after I "study" Turner, Lee and Silvestri. Honestly, I'm not a fan of any of their art. Nothing against those guys, and it is a shame about Turner passing away, but their work just doesn't thrill me. But I guess I'm the fool for studying drawing anatomy from anatomy books and life drawing. Silly me. Even sillier of me for drawing sequentials since all the companies are now using a program which was designed for use by ten year olds so they can make their own comics. Guess I missed that memo. Chris and I will now have to change everything we're doing to keep up with the serious companies. Fortunately, my new Deffiant friend was there to shed the light and show me the way.

Despite his aid and insights as to how comics are made I still had my nagging doubts. Was this all to good to be true? I asked to talk to one of his other employees or perhaps even one of his backers in the hopes of finding some shred of legitimacy to cling to in my hopes of a ten year contract and gag order.


my other employees are not willing to talk about things they have signed contracts NOT to discuss.they know well that they would be in legal trouble. they wouldn't be able to give u the information i can,..as they know about as much as you do.maybe only slightly more. i told u we were a start up company. why do u think we would put anything on the web?? we don't even have most of the art done for our ad space yet. and honestly, superman and batman were stolen by DC comics. then superman was changed in the 40's,to be a lot more powerful than he was originally created to be.there have even been law suits from the creators families as of this. MY characters were created by me in 1983,when i was in the hospital.i was nine. in 1992 i revamped them,and have actually been working towards my own company ever since. how do i know you are a legitimate artist?? anybody can have a friend draw up something,and send it through the internet.yet i did not question you... the bottom line is,that i have seen what DC comics,AND Marvel comics have done,as far as submissions go. and the only reason they don't have u do the same things,is they are well known company's.they have legions of legal protection,and we don't. i have three lawyers. and both of the above mentioned company's are very secretive of the story lines and plots,that they put out. they do have the artists and writers and colorists sign such agreements on a regular basis. the only difference here is,that we are protecting both trademarks,and the story plots,as we aren't as well known. and also we are far more likely to hire people than any other company,as we have way more ongoing titles,and are less well known,...and try to help artists,especially when they are rejected at said other companies. and require help where we can get it. BUT this does not mean that i am just going to take people at face value. i have been there,and done that.and i lost three good characters to a major company,and no i wont discuss which one,and who those were. also even if the artwork u submitted is your artwork,..its not as good as someone who claims they have been working to get into the industry for a few years.it looks cartoony. but it was good enough,that we could work with u to improve,without taking much time at all...paneling isint,and hasint been done that way since the late 90's. its been the same way for every major company since.everything is drawn,& scanned separate,and done in animation cell style.and i have a one n a half year old daughter,that i take care of five days of the week,and still make time for this. my backers have also researched the market,and know full well of lawsuits,resulted in the theft of trademarks. so no we wont be telling ANYONE anything without the proper contacts signed in triplicate. and i know that all comic book companies do this in their hiring process at some point.

And now we know why kids should not do drugs. So our Deffiant puppetmaster has his other employees in the dark as well. This really makes me wonder about the previously mentioned need for a parental permission slip if I was 17 or younger. There's this nagging mental image in my skull of a bunch of 12 year olds chained to drafting tables with copies of All Star Batman and Robin placed in front of them as a holy text and made to draw like that for fear of big, mean, and in all likelihood imaginary lawyers gobbling up their hopes and dream like Pez.

If none of that made any sense whatsoever to you, then most likely you have and IQ over 50. But logic means nothing in this cutthroat world of comics where the big evil companies can discover and steal the beloved characters of a nine year old. I'm not sure what's scarier: this guy so wrapped up in his fictitious existence that he's carrying the facade to this length; or the chance that this guy has actually gotten some poor soul to follow him.

Bottom line: in this world there are douches. You've just read an exploration of their king.

Don't be a douche.

1 comment:

papercut assassin said...

God I love it when you're angry sir!