5:30

It's 5:30 in the morning and I'm up for no reason. This has been happening more often.

It could be the longer periods of daylight, but my bedroom is kept dark as a cave so I'm doubting it. Something is wanting to drive me out of bed like a kid on Christmas morning. The only thing on my agenda today is going to work. I kept waking up, as if dreaming the clock radio had gone off. I'd stretch and then realize it hadn't and try to go back to sleep. It happened again and I had retrieved a pair of socks and a t-shirt before I realized the time. If I had been dreaming I don't remember it.

Nothing unusual from yesterday could have caused this. I didn't get an over abundance of sleep the night before. I did write up a good chunk of the script for Mere Mortal issue 4.

This may be the answer.

Until recently, I had been part of the online community Gaiaonline. I was a regular in the their Comic Discussion Forum, which was both entertaining and informative. Although being a member for years I was beginning to feel a 'need' to sign in and spend time. It felt like a since of obligation. Recognizing this, I left it. This freed up more time for writing and drawing. I'm producing more work faster. My mind is sparking with more ideas.

Had I become numb? Was it more of an easy out? Simple entertainment and easy interaction with others as opposed to leaving myself alone with my thoughts. That's quite a change from from previous chapters of my life. Before leaving I looked back on some of my early posts on Gaiaonline. There was more fire, a spark. Ideas, and a bit of anger driving me to share what was in my head with the people there, and they responded. Attention is the easiest addiction to give in to. I'm not the same person I was then, but didn't feel like a better one.

I'm reading more now. I'm writing and drawing more. Nothing against that website, but I'm better for leaving it.

I feel lightning in my brain again. I missed it.

Maybe that's why I'm up at 5:30 for no apparent reason.