Gail Simone battles George Lucus with Jetpacks!

Its Friday, October 6, 2010, my hair is a mess, and this is the Side.

First off, 24 Hour Comic Day was last weekend. That's when creators produce 24 pages of comic in as many hours. Our good friend, loyal supporter, and all-around awesome gal Kat Hogan participated. Her project can be seen here. Go there. Enjoy. Don't worry, I'll wait.


OK, let's go.


George Lucus announced last week that he has no more ideas in his head at all but still wants your monies. Translation: he's releasing the STAR WARS movies in theaters in 3D. This of course is great news for the dozen or so people who think 3D is awesome and this announcement makes their lives complete. The rest of the population rolled our eyes and asked "Really?"

Because its not like George hasn't messed with the franchise enough. Sure he created it, and the orginal films are awesome. Then he turned around and released the movies and updated some of the special effects. Alright, we're OK with that as long as everyone is clear that Han shot first. After that off course came the prequels, which really weren't that good at all, but we still watched them because we're a bunch of lemming nerds. We dealt with it though because "Phantom Menace" had Darth Maul, and "Send in the Clones" had Yoda kicking ass, and "Revenge of the Sith" had... had...

OK, "Revenge of the Sith" completely sucked.

But soon you'll be able to see it suck in 3D!

They're planning on rolling out "Phantom Menace" in 2012 as the Mayans predicted.

Probably by that time everyone will be completely fed up with 3D and just sit home and watch their pirated DVDs of the original trilogy. Y'know, I'm against stealing content, I really am, BUT I've watched the movies, I've watched the releases, my parents bought me a ton of the toys when i was a kid. I even got the Boba Fett action figure in the mail before "Empire Strikes Back" came out and nobody knew who this guy was or what he did, but HOT DAMN did he look cool! And I'm definitely anti-entitlement, however, for all the hard earned money that I and my parents have spent on STAR WARS I should be able to watch the version I want on the format I want.

So, I want a DVD without Hayden freaking Christianson photoshopped into the final scene of "Jedi".

That's not too much to ask.

So Mister Lucus, with all due respect, F'N QUIT IT!!! Quit screwing with the movies I love. Do something new or just enjoy retirement.


Cyber-bullying seems to be on the rise. This is when someone picks on someone else online. This is made much easier by social networking sites, but its absolutely not their faults. They do what they can to crack down on these sorts of things. Parents are very worried, but don't seem to be worried enough to keep their kids offline.

NEWSFLASH: There's more to the internet than Facebook.

There are a lot of websites that are very well moderated geared towards young people. And you create your own user name so unless you tell people who you really are, then they won't know. When you put yourself out there online, whether you are a child or an adult, you put a target on yourself. That target is not only for criminals and weirdos, but for anyone who doesn't like you. So if you're going to go online, you either need to know how to keep your online privacy secure, or grow a really thick skin.

And then there's the claim of this won't stop what people say behind your back. Look, this is nothing new. Waaaaaaaay, back when I was in school before such inventions as the internet existed people would still say things behind other peoples back. I'm pretty damn sure Thomas Edison created the telephone just so he could talk shit about people behind their backs, because tapping out how stupid someone is in morse code is a pain in the ass. And certainly people talked about me behind my back. I was a skinny kid with braces who read a ton comic books and made great grades. No one lifted a finger against me and no one could say anything that I hadn't heard a million times before. Being able to throw a spiral, hit a softball a country mile, and people not being sure whether or not I was a black belt in Karate didn't hurt either.

Bottom line: there are people on and offline who suck and will target anyone if they think they can get away with it to make themselves fell better. You can't hide from them forever and you mommy won't always be around to deal with them. Learn to deal. Either ignore it, report it, or get ready to get your hands dirty.


I really don't spend a lot of time on Twitter but when i do things just jump out at me. Like this from Gail Simone for example:
Even people who haven't been reading BOP are gonna want to pick up the DEATH OF ORACLE storyline. Just saying.

Now this may cause some people to worry quite a bit as oracle is a very beloved character, however I can tell you not to worry as my sources have ferreted out the truth. I say this because my sources are actual ferrets.

Oracle will not actually be dying because Oracle can never die. Instead Barbara Gordon will be sent back in time to sit in an ancient clock tower for a while. In the meantime the "Battle for the Comp" mini-series written and illustrated by Ed Benes will be launch to determine who will be the new Oracle. The new oracle will be Wendy Harris and working along side her as the new Proxy will be the daughter Barbara Gordon never knew she had, but it'll make for an interesting dynamic since the younger Gordon was raised Mark Zuckerburg and is evil, sorta.

A mysterious force will begin bouncing Barbara through history where she'll found Microsoft, invent the telegraph, as well as develop the Dewey Decimal System.

This is going to be great!


They've decided on a director for the upcoming Superman movie: Zack Snyder. Nolan and Goyer are still producing and writing the project. I'm still not sure about this project. On Nolan's end, I loved BATMAN BEGINS but hated THE DARK KNIGHT. With Snyder I loved 300 and that's the only movie of his I have to go on. I did not see WATCHMEN because I did not particularly enjoy the comic and had no urge to go see the a movie based on a comic that I didn't enjoy. Still I've seen some clips of it.

I don't know how well Snyder's stylized approach will work with the property, but I've got a bit of confidence that he'll do something pleasing. Its Nolan I'm worried about. Nothing this guy has made gives me a feeling that he'd be a good fit helming the Superman project. All of his movies that I've seen are visually appealing, but are pretty dark affairs. That's not the sensibility I'm comfortable with when looking at a character like Superman. Of course he could really surprise me and make a great and inspiring piece.

So, we've got another time will tell situation. I'm really hoping to be pleasantly surprised.


A company is getting closer to making a commercial jetpack. This is good because the one I've been building from the kit I order from the back of that old AVENGERS comic isn't looking to promising. Really this thing isn't a "jetpack" so much as an "enginepack", however "jetpack" sounds much much cooler.

Of course you'll probably need a license for the thing and have to file flight plans to use it, oh, and there's of course the fact that most of use will never be able to afford it. Kinda takes the shiny off a little bit.

I'll probably never be in a position to be able to afford on of those things. Still, if I'm sitting around being old and crotchety, waving my cane at the neighborhood kids and telling them to stay the hell off my lawn, and I look up to randomly see someone someone streaking across the sky with their jetpack...

Bah. I'll probably be all bitter and pissed off that I didn't have one too.

Odds are this won't get too far with the public. There's probably be some outcry that its not environmentally friendly because *GASP* is runs on gasoline. Freaking hippies expect us the fly using fairy dust, and that's not going to happen because the same hippies will get torqued off because we'd be exploiting the fairies' natural resources.


I'm feeling like some punk this week. And not that crap that they try to pass off as punk nowadays on the radio.

Wow, that was a lot of stuff. Alrighty, I'll see y'all on Friday. I'm going to go build a fence now.


Paul said...

I thought you were going to address this: The Fox News show "Fox and Friends" today fell for a fake Weekly World News headline that reported LA's police and fire departments had ordered $1 billion worth of jetpacks.

George Lucas has turned out to be greedy instead of genius. It is sad, but it can happen. There's a lot of information out there that the prequels were so terrible because GL wanted to sell toys and make money. Not because he wanted to tell a good story.

I already collect everything Gail Simone writes. She's one of my favorites. I can't wait for Western Oracle using the telegraph to tell Western Batman to watch out for Jonah Hex.

Marty Nozz said...

That story was false, but there's actually military and rescue organizations that are looking to purchase the jetpacks.

I completely believe that Lucas did the prequels for the sole purpose of getting a check.

After the western issue of Secret Six I'd be totally amped to see a Western Oracle.