Great Caesar's ghost! Its Wednesday, March 23, 2011, my face hurts to look at it, but that's probably because I'm ugly, and this is The Side. Typically, I comment a bit about news and whats going on in the world. The problem is is that right now the news really sucks. Bad stuff is going on all over, and of course the news vultures are all over things because "if it bleeds, it leads". Makes a person not want to watch any of it, because its like a punch in the face.

Oh, you've never been punched in the face?


I'm working on getting back in fighting shape and that involves blood, sweat, and tears. In fact I got to see all of those the other night. Weather was nice, so we engaged in some outdoor training. Stations were involved. A heavy bag swung from a tree. Bats were displeased, yet seemed fascinated. There were only three of us out there, but that was enough. We were rotating through stations, alternating between pounding the heavy bag and targeting pads. It wasn't long before a caught a powerful roundhouse kick in one of my muay thai pads and the force sent the pad crashing into my face.

Completely my fault for holding the pad at the wrong angle, but at the speed we were moving accidents happen. The pad itself is very solid, and not terribly forgiving. Fortunately, I rolled with the impact so it wasn't anywhere near as bad as it could have been.

For those of you who have not been hit in the face, its not the end of the world. If you wear glasses like I do, they're probably the first thing you check. Wearing glasses sucks when you take a shot to the face. They tend to break, and that means first that you can't see, and second that you'll likely have to shell out the cash for new ones. The glasses were intact.

The second thing you check is your nose. Noses break pretty easily, which sucks. If your nose gets broken, there's really no reason to check, because you'll know its broken. What you're checking for is blood. Blood sucks. Its a pain to get out of your closes and makes breathing difficult. A broken or even bloody nose in a face is trouble because you could be forced to breath through your mouth. I knew the nose wasn't broken, but a quick check revealed a bit of blood. Fortunately, I'm currently sporting facial hair and that kept it from going everywhere. Expect tears. When you get hit in the nose your tear ducts automatically start working overtime and you'll shed a few tears even if the impact didn't hurt that much. this sucks because it can make your vision blurring. So a nose is indeed a good target in a fight.

You them use your tongue to make sure all your teeth and where they're supposed to be. That's why you wear mouthguards when you fight. Some of the better ones even come with dental insurance now. These same mouth guards also set your jaw forward a little which helps prevent pressure knockouts. Blows to the jaw are tricky. Sure there's the possibility of a broken jaw or teeth going flying, but there's multiple risks for a knockout. First is your head whips around so quickly that you black out. Second is the pressure point on the jaw gets popped at the correct ankle and out you go. That's called getting hit "right on the button". Third is the space between your jaw and the rest of your skull gets compressed and that's a pressure knockout, you will go night-night for that. I was awake and teeth were all in place.

Tending to a blood nose is fairly simple. Holding your head back is not how you tend to it. That keeps the blood from running out of your nose, but it has to go somewhere, so it ends up going down your throat. A quick trip to the bathroom got me a couple of tissues to help with the clean up. What you want to do is pinch your nose closed tightly and tilt your head forward for thirty seconds to a minute. that'll usually stop the bleeding. If it doesn't, then you need to go see a doctor. Bleeding stopped in a textbook fashion, but having blood clots in your nose sucks because they feel like really dry boogers and you don't want to go picking them.

Then it was back outside for some more rounds with the bag and pads, because getting hit in the face happens. You can't just pack up and go home when it does.


Not a huge GnR fan, but I always dug this tune.

The bell just rung and that's it for this round. See y'all friday.

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