The end is nigh!

Its Sunday, August 1, 2010. Welcome of August, you're all doomed. Due to that doom I have turned the comment moderation because Gucci Spam Bombs and the JPI virus are small potatos compared to what is coming.

THE BIG DOOM IS COMING!!!

What you are about to read may shock you, and for that I apologize. I want you all to know that there is hope, and the situation I am about too outline is not cause for utter despair. There have been a lot of seemingly unrelated news stories, that have a very unfortunate connection. The signs are all there.

We turn our attention first to Antarctica and the Icecube. The Icecube is a science station purposed for the finding of neutrinos, which are tiny particles that aren't easily found. What is of note is not the neutrinos, but what is considered background noise by the scientists, Cosmic Rays. More importantly, the pattern in which the Cosmic rays are hitting Earth. It seems that they are hitting the planet from one direction, but there's a distinct lack of Cosmic Rays from the other. Scientists have their theories as to what could be causing so many more Cosmic rays to come from one direction (they theorize a Supernova), but what they've failed to consider is why is there so much less activity from the other direction. What is stopping the cosmic rays?

We now turn our attention to the Straight of Hormuz where there was a mysterious impact with a Japanese oil tanker. The crew of the tanker have said that they don't know what caused the massive dent in the tanker. They claim they saw a flash of light and felt a big impact, but none of the people aboard that ship have any explanation as to what happened. One popular theory points to terrorism as attacks on ocean going vessels is nothing new to them, however there doesn't seem to be evidence of a conventional explosion.

Two seemingly unrelated stories, coming from half the world apart. But as we know, two weird instances are merely a coincidence. It takes three to truly make them a pattern. So what on Earth could possibly link Cosmic Ray patterns and the striking of a Japanese Oil tanker? For our answer, and the third piece of the puzzle, we turn to China.

This happened a few weeks ago, but well within the appropriate timeline for things to fall into place. A UFO was spotted over an airport in China. This is pretty wild in and of itself, but more so is that the fact that the Chinese Government is willing to have dialogues about the sightings. This is something totally new because it used to be they threw people who though they saw UFOs or tried talking about them into prison. So obviously, they're taking this seriously and likely have intelligence that we do not.

Those that observed the object claimed it had a 'lantern-like' appearance. But I ask you, gentle readers, does that image look like a lantern to you? Of course not. I posit that it is indeed something more foreboding. And in the interest of public service I have investigated this matter, and that included calling in some favors from sources I won't disclose, but they have shared with me a picture of the likely source of these phenomena.



I know its a little bit blurry, but you can make out Galactus in the picture which was taken from a really really good telescope. Seems the Mayans knew about Galactus and while we're not sure if their estimated date of his arrival is accurate its still going to be a bad day. Of course this has come to the attention of President which it seems that he's know for quite sometime. The Pop-Star-in-Chief explained that was the reason why he stopped caring about the economy and jobs. He figures if the world is going to get eaten then we might as well spend our remaining time "funemployed", and its no problem with the Government spending money that they don't have since we won't be around anyways.

Unfortunately, I'm going to have to be the fly in Obama's plans, because somebody has to save the world, and it might as well be me. That's right. I'm no quitter! I've already begun building my mighty satellite weapon which I'll be using to kick Galactus's big armored ass. After years of playing Space Invaders I'm ready for him.

Bring it on, you big sum'bitch!

However just in case you don't think I can take Galactus (which means you haven't been here long enough), here's some inspiration for planning your final moments before the planet gets nom'd.



FICTION NOT STRANGE ENOUGH

OK, see what I did up there? I took real life facts and news stories and twisted it into a weirdo jumping off point for a big space action adventure story. This brings us to the crap currently going on in SUPERMAN. In SUPERMAN or hero is currently dealing with societal problems. Now this is being rationalized a number of different ways. Superman fought more human foes and societal corruption back in late 30s and into the 40s when he was introduced. There's thoughts that Superman needs to be taken "down to Earth" so he can better relate to people. There is also the notion that the character needs more realism. These are all crap, and its making for really boring storytelling.

I went and used that nasty word "realism" again. Now, there's got to be a bit of realism in comics. And no I'm not referring to the fanboy definition of terrible shit happening to characters to make it 'real'. I'm talking about human truth. I'm talking about facts. Every good work of fiction has a bit of truth in it. Its how we as readers can connect with even the most fantastic of stories. But we don't want to beat a reader over the head with realism.

If you pound them with too many facts that don't add crucial elements to the story then it can read like a textbook. It'll cease to be entertaining. Same thing if you hammer the reader repeatedly with vows of society. It ends up depressing and not fun to read. Sure it will draw attention to a problem, but with you go on too long all you're doing is lecturing. Greg Rucka delt with the subject of child slavery in his novel "Walking Dead". The issue was handled with a grave seriousness and gave some chilling cold hard facts. These facts added to the drama and urgency of the story. Once again, Rucka got it right.

In comics, specifically superhero comics, there is room for social commentary, but writers can't forget that these are escapist soap operas. Having an issue or two in which superheroes deal with a real world problem like drug abuse or suicide can be a very good and powerful thing, but taking Superman on a year long walking tour of misery is going to do nothing but make readers looking for a good time to look elsewhere.

MUSIC!

Concluding our week on mining Pickle's Pantry Parlour we are going live. Enjoy.



Alright, that's it for today. See you Wednesday and DFTBA.

Bieber's Cowboy Caterpillar Crisis!

Great Caesar's Ghost, its Friday, July 30, 2010, and I'm talking weird smack lately.

Putting the kids to bed...

"If you don't get in those beds and stay in them so help me I'll whup you both until you have to repeat pre-school!"

Dealing with cashiers...

Cashier: "How are you today, sir?"

Me: "I dunno. I had all these plans for today, but some guy rocketed to Earth as a baby from a doomed planet keeps screwing up everything? That ever happen to you?"

COMIX!!

Right now Lex Luthor is so much cooler than Superman its not even funny. ACTION COMICS #891 was the read of the week. Bobby Fresh was stunned that he was picking up a Superman book this week when I saw him at Kings. We all told him "Its not a Superman book. Its a Lex Luthor book and its awesome." Paul Cornell is just kicking complete ass on this. Right now the main Superman title is boring as hell, and really needs to take some cues from what's going on here. While Straczynski has Superman walking around dealing with "real world issues" and being kind of a douche about it, Cornell has Luthor matching wits Mister Mind in a COWBOY CATERPILLAR CRISIS! It a completely wild and all out fun tour through the brain of Lex Luthor, as well as offering a bit of a tribute to the entire Bruce Wayne bouncing through time bit. Read it, because its awesome. And Robo-Lois rules.

Quick note to anybody who wants to step up with an argument about how Straczynski's run is superior because of the realism it brings to storytelling and the intellectual content: Fuck off. If I want realism, I'll watch the news, or the History Channel. These are comic books. Superhero comic books. I want big damn action! I want asses kicked! I want evil thwarted, or at least being really freaking fun to watch. I don't want a guy who wrestled the King Angel of the Bullhost and sang the God of Evil into submission walking down the street being utterly pedestrian. OK, that note wasn't so quick.

BATMAN: THE RETURN OF BRUCE WAYNE #4 hit this week as well. The mystery of the time traveling Dark Knight goes gun-slinging as he goes up against Jonah Hex. Each issue has dealt with Wayne reclaiming an different aspect of what made him Batman. This time it dealt with his grit and dogged determination to see evil doers brought to justice. The veil is lifted a bit as we see some more clues as to The Black Glove's role in things. There are two things bothering me. Both are minor. First, we haven't seen anything of Rip's Rescue Rangers in two issues and last we left them the universe was ending. Second is the art. Not that I don't like Georges Jeanty's artwork it's just that there's so much going on and a lot of it is visual clues that I wish there was one artist to make picking up on things easier. But the tale moves onward, and so does Wayne, which may be a good thing because those super villains ain't resting while he's gone.

Speaking of Batman, DETECTIVE COMICS #867 started a new storyline which has me hooked in. David Hine is a bit hit and miss with me, but when he's got me, he's got me good. This story has nothing to do with the Morrison "The Once and Future Batman" story, so readers can jump right in. I dig it because there's a team-up with The Question that makes it look really natural like it happens all the time. I also like that we've got Scott McDaniel drawing Batman again. I loved his NIGHTWING run, and his art isn't to everyone's taste, but I've always thought he was a great fit in the Bat-corner of the DCU.

On to unpleasantness. I read WONDER WOMAN #601 so now you don't have to. This story is crap. Its actually worse than the Jodi "Derp, I dunno how to pump gas, derp" Piccoult run. Its like a really lousy Elseworlds story. And I know this isn't permanent and once this runs a ways things will be set right with WW's proper origin restored, but really we don't need to see the character drug through the gutter for people to realize how special the character is. Last issue Gail Simone gave us "Keep faith, trust to love, fight with honor, but fight to win." This month Straczynski gives us "I'm going to kill them. I'm going to kill all of them." That's on top of Hyppolyta committing suicide by jumping to a fire and burning to death as she cursed her enemies, and a thug dressed a clown in an ice cream truck expressing a desire to shoot a little boy.

Shame on you J. Michael Straczynski. Shame on you for making me leave this comic which I used to support with every bit of my geek heart.

THE BIEBER REPLACEMENT!!

Sitting around the house the other day I did some channel surfing. The loin spawn were distracted by toys so I was happy to watch something besides PBS. I landed on The Ellen Show where there was some kid on the piano getting ready to sing. People were cheering and young girls were going bonkers. The song was lame and ridiculous that some 11 year old was singing about a girl breaking his heart when he looks like he's still slightly worried about cooties. And of course he's coming out with an album. It quickly became obvious that this kid, Greyson Chance, was created in a lab in Hollywood to replace the aging Justin Bieber.

Let's face it, Bieber ain't getting any younger. He can't keep posing on those Tiger Beat covers forever. Heard a rumor he's actually driving now and this won't do. Won't be long until he's just another burned out has-been hanging onto his past as he's mistaken for a lesbian.

Chance has every advantage over Bieber. He made is big splash singing a Lady Gaga song so that's going to attract the weirdos thinking this kid has depth and soul because they think Lady Gaga music has some mysterious brilliance to it. He's got a much cooler name, which is totally wasted on a pop star and would better suite an action movie star or comic book character. Imaging preparing to due epic battle with Greyson Chance and then actually seeing the kid. It would be a bit of a let down. You prepare to do epic battle with Justin Bieber and you know just from the name that the battle is going to be less than epic. Much less.

AIRING ALL THE LAUNDRY

I dumped Facebook a while back and I'm really glad I did. More people's info got leaked to the public. Just remember this: anything you put on Facebook will be made available to public. Forget privacy settings. They're worthless. If there is something you don't want out in the public eye you're better off keeping it off the web altogether.

MUSIC!!

I'm going to continue to give you people a break from my taste in music and mine a little more from Pickle's Pantry Parlour! Enjoy.



That's it for today. Remember: TGIF. Tiny gnomes in fuchsia.

Avenger's Holmes Computer!

By Jove, its Wednesday, July 25, 2010, and Operation Cleansweep has hit its 50% completion mark in its Shock and Awe campaign. That means the the misses comes home and is shocked by how hard I worked to clean the Cozz Compound up and when she sees how tired I am she goes "Aaawwwww". I'm working my way to domestic warlord status while blogging my way into the hearts and minds of people everywhere who have nothing better to do.

NO S**T, SHERLOCK!!

I'm currently re-reading "The Hound of the Baskervilles" after watching the Guy Richie SHERLOCK HOLMES film. But I stumbled upon some thing. There's a new Sherlock Holmes show on the BBC which I tried to watch on my computer but my computer is so old that in trying to do so I got an alert "Warning: Voo Doo and Gremlins detected". But hey, I did get to see the trailer.



Looks pretty neat. There was also an interview on the BBC with comparisons to Doctor Who and such and it went down the rather dopey road of comparing the partnership of Holmes and Watson to a gay relationship and dispelling it which is kind of a waste to time. However, it did make an interesting assertion: Sherlock Holmes is greatest character in literature.

That's a hell of an assertion but it holds up really damn well. I think in terms of popularity Holmes is up there, only to be trumped by probably Dracula. Also the books of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle epitomize the detective fiction genre even though he did not start the genre. (It was Poe with "The Murders in the Rue Morgue", which I know because I'm a nerd.) Holmes is a definite pop culture icon. When you think great detectives, you think Sherlock Holmes.

I just realized that when looking at the two literary characters I named as probably the most popular that it is still all about Batman.

The character has endured quite well. The previously mentioned Guy Richie movie did quite well and a sequel is already in the works. This new show on the BBC makes the character contemporary which I find interesting and will definitely be checking out at my first opportunity. There was some cartoon show about Sherlock Holmes somehow being in the future and Watson was a robot sort of thing. The old stories are still a great read. Also looking at a lot of those cop shows and even shows like HOUSE M.D. I'd say they owe quite a bit to Holmes.

So is Sherlock Holmes the greatest character in literature?

I'd say that's elementary.

Note I did not say "That's elementary, my dear Watson" because Holmes never said that in the books. I know that also because I'm a nerd.

THE NEW DON CHEADLE!!



Edward Norton is indeed out as far as the AVENGERS movie goes. The cast got introduced at the San Diego Comic-con with Mark Ruffalo to play Bruce Banner. I'm not going to be the guy who runs about the internet yelling "Oh this movie is going to suck now!" but it does seem like a step down from Norton. Nothing against Ruffalo, but when I look at him I don't think Bruce Banner at all. I'm not very surprised by this announcement since reports came out about how much of a prick a marvel movie exec was about discussing Norton stating pretty much that he does play well with others and spouting off crap.

They should have at least been honest and said "Hey, we've got to play Jackson and Downey plus play for a ton of special effects. We can't afford Norton." But that would mean someone in Hollywood being honest. Perish the thought.

Does this mean that I won't go see the AVENGERS movie when it comes out? It doesn't, but that also doesn't mean that I'm going to rush out to see it either. Its way too early to tell. I'm not terribly excited about comic book movies right this second. IRONMAN 2 was good, but that was thanks mostly to Mickey Rourke and in lame comic book movie fashion he got bumped off at the end.

OMG, did I just drop a spoiler? I apologize to the two people who haven't seen the movie yet.

But yeah, not terribly excited for THE AVENGERS, so we'll wait and see.

THE E-SKY IS FALLING!!

In less than 1 year IP addresses will run out. This, of course, means the end of life as we know it on the planet. Prince was right. The internet is indeed over. Or someone is going to change the system to generate trillions of new addresses. According to the article the system that created IP addresses was created thirty years ago. That's right 1980. So let's look at back, shall we?

In 1980 no one had a home computer. We're going back to well before even the good old Commodore 64 here. Hell, if someone on the street had an Atari, they were the most popular kid in the neighborhood. Cell phones? That was science fiction. The internet was pretty much Science Fiction as well. Remember, this was the era in which WAR GAMES (the movie not the Batman storyline) was like scary cutting edge tech.

But technology has snowballed since then and just about every home has a computer, and some of them have more. Cell phones have become a part of life, even the most basic ones are capable of going online. I'm surprised a 30 year old system created in the conditions of 1980 has made it this far.

The article is pretty damn funny, actually. It compares this problem to Climate Change which is just stupid on a number of levels. It also makes mention of the possibility of a black market for IP addresses which I find amusing on a grand number of levels. The funniest was it stating that back when the system was created the notion that a refrigerator would possibly need an IP address was ludicrous. Which means, in someone's warped little mind, some time in the past, the notion that a refrigerator might need an IP address became not ludicrous.

Welcome to the future. People are still nuts.

PAPERS OR GTFO!!!

Which seems to be what people think is going to happen to anyone who isn't white very soon. I didn't want weigh in on this. Its a hot button topic. People get amazingly livid and pissed off about such things, but no one comments in here anyways so why the hell not. I came across two news stories in as many days on the subject. First was about illegal immigrants fleeing Arizona before the new State law goes into effect making being an illegal immigrant a state crime and not just a federal one. The second one was about illegal immigrants getting upset that their fingerprint could be used to identify them to the authorities as an illegal immigrant and get them deported.

What struck me in both these stories is that the writers are treating the people breaking the law as the victims. The fingerprinting one is aggressively stupid in that if some is getting fingerprinted by the Police then most likely its because they've been arrested. Fingerprinting is done for a reason. You see this in every Cop show on TV. There's a crime scene, and they dust for prints. That way they make an arrest they can use these fingerprints as evidence. Or possibly the prints may match up to somebody who has already been arrested for something else and its already a win. The police are not going to go around fingerprinting whoever they want. This isn't racial profiling, its procedure. And sure enough if it turns out the person being processed is not in the country legally, that's a crime, and as we still theoretically have laws, they are sent back to their country of origin. And if the crime they committed is spying they're invited to film premiers by Angelina Jolie.

But it seems that America is in a weird position. There's people who want us to be "no better than" every other country out there because we're all equal and whatever, YET, we are supposed to have an open door to anyone who wants to come here and we take care of them with tax dollars because our country provides better opportunities. We're expected to have the most lax immigration laws in the world. Mexico has double tough immigration laws, but it seems double standards are OK as long as they don't favor the United States.

The first story I found discusses people fleeing Arizona to other states to escape the law. I can't pity these people. Instead of running away, they should be trying to obey the law. So now they're not just illegal immigrants, they're now fugitives.

MUSIC!!

I've actually got about 10 subscribers on YouTube and have never posted a video. But I do get friend requests as well, and I ignore most of them to be honest because the only reason I have an account is to make following certain people on there easier. But for some reason I checked out Picklespantry when she sent me a friend request, and I'm glad I did. For she has given me MUSIC!



That is the skinny for today. Come back Friday as I talk about comics, probably gush over Batman, and make fun of Justin Bieber thus earning the ire of of any possible tween that may have stumbled into here.

See ya then.

Conan smites the WBC on YouTube!

Man the battle stations! Its Sunday, July 25, 2010 and Operation: Cleansweep is off the a good start. My Shock and Awe campaign had yielded excellent results in Zones 1 and 2. The Insurgents will most likely put up a lot of resistance in Zone 3 and I'll Gitmo both their little asses if they try anything.

Hey, speaking of battles...

BATTLEGROUND: COMIC-CON



As I discussed earlier this week or possibly last week if you consider Sunday the beginning of the week and if you do then your life is ruled by a calendar, you sheep, the Westboro Baptist Church decided they were going to go protest in front of the San Diego Comic-Con probably because they they figured they better stop protesting soldiers funerals for fear of eventually getting their asses kicked. My God, that is one long run on sentence. I feel like Henry David Thoreau.

And yes they did protest the nerd prom and, by gum, those nerds protested right back! This is of course the best possible thing to do because the WBC are really just a bunch of little sissies who are hiding behind Freedom of Speech Laws and try to sue whoever they can. They spew forth hate to the point they are idiotic parodies of human beings, and the best weapon to combat them is open mockery.

Now, they tend to go after funerals and the like where emotions run high and there's no chance someone is going to start mocking them due to the nature of the gathering. So what the hell were these morons thinking going to SDCC? They got made into fools instead of being considered the hate group which they are. Good job to the counter protesters.

But this doesn't mean that everything was peacefully at Comic-con. At a movie preview screening one person was stabbed in the eye by a pencil. I know what you're thinking. "Did RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE really look that bad?" But no, it was someone else who stabbed him, apparently after a dispute over a seat. It seems Brody in MALLRATS was correct: just because someone reads comic books they can indeed serve some shit.

This of course caused a delay with convention programming in that hall. Those conventions are tough to co-ordinate. What will celebrities to deal with, various schedules, logistics of all the guests, hate groups out front, and guys stabbing each other in the eye inside I'm now thinking ImagineCon 2000 could have been a hell of a lot worse.

RIDDLE OF STEEL. COLOR OF MONEY

Well, we may never see another Conan movie hitting the big screen, but there's still a lot of love out there for that big, sword swinging, Corm worshiper. In fact a painting of Conan done by the late Frank Frazetta just sold for well over a million dollars. That might just be better than crushing my enemies, seeing them driven before me, and/or hearing the lamentation of their women.

I like Conan, but my interest is really only a passing one. I haven't read all the comics of books. I don't own the movies. I do have to resist the urge to yell "CROM" before swinging a sword at anything. I love Frank Frazetta's artwork. I was saddened a bit to hear about his passing away a couple months ago. The Missus was a bit surprised that a painting of Conan would fetch such a high price. I was a little surprised as well, but it is an excellent piece.

Back in college I knew a guy named Alex would refused to tell us his middle name. This deflected all inquiries about my lack of a middle name. We knew it began with an 'S' and he claimed it was for 'Steven' but we didn't believe him. Then he made the mistake of filling out a form while sitting next to me.

'Shin Quan'. Thank God he was Asian.

This was Freshman year and by God until the day he graduated if ever any of us caught sight of that poor bastard we'd yell out "Shin Quan! What is best in life!?"

And a few times, he'd actually answer.

YOUTUBE GETS SPOOKY!!

Came across this and am very interested.



I know there are quite a few webisodic YouTube Channels, but I haven't come across anything really trying to be straight up spooky. The people behind this do quality work so I have a lot of faith in this project. It seems like the majority of original content I find on YouTube is out for laughs or trying to show off something cool. That's great. Everyone can always use a good laugh. I'd love to see some "dare you not to click away" spook-tacular videos.

MUSIC!!

The last of my three favorite songs. Kinda weird that all three are out of the 80s. Ah well.



That's all I've got for this weekend. Thanks to Linda for being my connection to stuff I don't know. I'm going to get back to slowly cooking in the heat wave that's hit the east coast. The one good thing about this heat is its all the reason I need to say indoors. See you Wednesday.

Stan Lee trades Comics for a Pug!

By everything good and sweet in Odin's beard its Friday, July 23, 2010 and today begins Operation: Cleansweep. The Nozz Compound has been divided into eight zones and every day I'm not out sweating my ass off fixing a beach house in Sandbridge I will be cleaning one of those zones. Today's target: the office. But first..

STAN LEE GOES BOOM!!



Big announcement coming out of Comic-Con is Stan Lee lending his creative skills to BOOM Studios, and he's being backed by some serious talent. Here's the line-up:

SOLDIER ZERO, written by DOCTOR WHO and ACTION COMICS scribe Paul Cornell with art by SUPERMAN artist Javier Pina, tells the story of a wheelchair-bound astronomy teacher who finds himself in a freak accident that bonds him with an alien weapon of war.

THE TRAVELER, written by Eisner Award-nominee and BOOM! Studios Chief Creative Officer Mark Waid with art by AMAZING SPIDER-MAN artist Chad Hardin, features a mysterious new superhero with time-traveling powers battling the Split-Second Men, super-powered assassins from the future.

STARBORN, written by iZOMBIE's Chris Roberson with art by THE X-MEN's Khary Randolph, tells the story of a regular guy who discovers he's the heir to an intergalactic empire, putting him the center of a war between five alien races.


I'm highly intrigued. This is the sort of sci-fi goodness I've really been digging lately, and now that SUPERMAN has gone from awesome space adventures to talking down streets I think these are just what I need to scratch that itch. Also, if you want a copy of SOLDIER ZERO signed by Stan Lee make sure to request one at your local comic shop. There will be some shipped. Lee has created some of the most beloved characters in comics, and these concepts look like he still got a sweet creative touch.

COMIX!!!

Hey speaking of comics, let's look at BIRDS OF PREY #3 which i realize may be old news to many of you, but I didn't get a copy until this week. Now, last time I discussed BIRDS OF PREY it was in one of the "Battleground" segments due to Scans Daily moderators being completely ridiculous in their treatment of BOP scribe Gail Simone over the killing of two characters one of them being gay in the middle of gay pride month. Ms. Simone urged them to wait until the storyline had concluded before jumping to conclusions and making snap judgments. Of course they didn't listen gave Simone and "official warning" for hate speech or somesuch and she saw the writing on the wall and left.

And now one month later we see that she was right and the moderators in question were indeed morons. Although now I suppose they'll have to find something else to attack which will likely be the line "Penguin party in my pants" which I would like to see on a t-shirt.

Paul Levitz has made me a convert as his LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES is being a really good time. The flashback issues on ADVENTURE COMICS are dull as hell, but his book is juts a lot of fun. Yes, it is crappy that 3boot Legion got shafted for this. Yes, the treatment of Jim Shooter was ridiculously stupid and awful. Yes, those costumes really need to be changed. However, Paul Levitz is writing some really fun book.

Onward to TIME MASTERS: VANISHING POINT, which I have to say I love the title. This book is a story inside a bigger story wrapped up in a tortilla. For more on the tortilla I will refer you all to the chart that's is being made over in England right now once its finished. As we know from THE RETURN OF BRUCE WAYNE, Superman, Green lantern, Booster Gold, and Rip Hunter are traveling through time trying to find Wayne before he makes it back to the present and destroys everything somehow. So, Dan Jurgens is doing a limited series detailing that there's some chicanery afoot during their search. It doesn't seem to have anything huge therein that readers need to follow the main Bat-storyline, but its a fun little book.

WHO SAYS KIDS AIN'T CLEVER?

Value can indeed be a relative thing. One man's trash is another man's treasure and all that. Something is worth what another person is willing to pay for it, or trade for it. Steve ortiz put that to the test when he went on Criagslist to see what he could get for an old cell phone. With some patience and a lot of time online, this kid ended up with a Porsche. This process took about two years and he traded quite a few things along the way. It fact the Porsche was actually a set down in monetary value from the thing he traded for it which was a Ford Bronco. So why did he trade it?

How many kids drive to high school in a Porsche?

So really its about what is important to you at that point in time. When I was a kid I had Star Wars figures. Played with them. Loved them. After a while I didn't play with them as much. But the guy up the street took a shine to them. So I traded a few of them for some of his comic books that he didn't want. There was some pretty sweet stuff too. So I was amped, the guy down the street was happy. Everyone was happy, except my parents who said that kid took advantage of me and made us trade everything back. So I got my Star Wars figures back which went into a box never to be played with again because I just didn't care about them anymore.

Ortiz has some of him family members saying he's a swindler. Pretty much the same mindset as my parents way back when. Its not about the monetary value attached to the items. Its about two people having something the other wants and them both coming to an arrangement both are happy with. Call it swapping, call it bartering, call it whatever but its as old as the hills and it still works.

GREATEST PUG EVER!!!

Even money says our good friend Richard over at Teatime Brutality would trade his Doctor Who box sets for that dog. Well, maybe a couple of them.



MUSIC!!

Continuing this week of my favorite songs, here's one I wish that all songs were as awesome as.



That's it for Friday. I'm going to begin the cleaning process. In the sage words of Lando: "Here goes nothing."

Waid made Cap a Derivative of Batman

Hey Nonee Nonee, it's Wednesday, July 21, 2010 and in a startling change of pace I'm actually wearing pants as I post this. In another change of pace, I've discontinued the "Pop Quiz" section as one one person has actually answered any of the questions since I started doing them. See? Even an e-troglodyte can e-evolve.

Today's Side is a bit light on news and heavy on my opining and rambling. I'd have gone through more effort to hunt down more news, but I'm working hard to curb the crime spree of a three-year-old who despite knowing you have to pay for things in stores thought it was a good idea to haul ass out of an FYE in the mall with a SUPER FRIENDS DVD before paying.

OK, that may not technically be a "spree" but that's how these things start!

HOWDY MISTER ROGERS


That's some art that's mostly likely going to be the look Captain America sports in the upcoming movie. They look to be going with WWII era heavily and that's fine by me. Should be fun.

BAT-THEORIES

With Bruce Wayne returning there's a lot going on in the Batman comics. For those new to here and that have not been following Batman, Bruce Wayne was trapped in the past after battling Darkseid. Now something has him bouncing through time and we're told that if he gets back to the present very bad things will happen. Here's some of what we know:

* Bruce Wayne traveling through time seems to be allowing him to reclaim different aspects of himself and his memory seems to be starting to come back.

* Wayne is also creating a situation that will allow for himself to become Batman.

* Bruce Wayne was at the end of time.

* The Black Glove is shown to be Bruce Wayne's father Thomas in an origin that isn't possible.

* The Black Glove cursed Bruce and it seemed to come true as his very next case led him straight to Darkseid.

* The events that led to the story in BATMAN #666 featuring Dick Grayson's death and Damien Wayne becoming Batman seem to be coming true.


But there's still a lot we don't know and the pertinent questions seem to be:

* What is the true identity of The Black Glove?

* Is there a connection between The Black Glove and Darkseid?

* What is within Bruce Wayne that is so dangerous?

* What is the Joker's hand in this?


So, what are the possibilities? Well there's a lot, but I've got a few thoughts:

* This could be Darkseid centric. After the war we did not see in FINAL CRISIS the New Gods and the Gods of Apokalypse got bounced backwards in time. The methods of the Black Glove and Darkseid resemble each other in that they want to twist and corrupt that which is good. The Black Glove could be one of Darkseid's agents and the alternate origin could be what he hopes to replace the history we know with. What Bruce could be carrying inside him is an "imprint" of Darkseid which is growing and hoping to be reborn when the time is right.

* This could be Devil centric. Going with the notion that the Black Glove is an incarnation of the Devil and let's assume that he's factored in Darkseid with his curse on Batman's cape and cowl. Perhaps he's trying to manipulate events so that Bruce's time traveling somehow allows a situation in which the impossible origin become possible. Its like time and reality are a slinky bouncing down the stairs. the same events keep circling around each other, but each time just a little more removed from the original loop.


This is of course the conjecture of one nutter that really should get more sleep.

BY THE NUMBERS

Currently I have 41 follower on this blog. That's about 30-some more than expected. This also does not take into account the ones that follow that are not shown, so the actual number may indeed be 42. The number of blogs I currently follow is in the single digits. Over on Google Buzz I have just over 150 followers and i follow just over 50. Twitter is another story. My account there is less than a week old. I follow a dozen folks and am followed by two.

My online time is limited so there's only so much content I can view and mentally process. That's why the number of things I follow is very limited. Looking at some accounts I see that there are people that follow hundreds, sometimes thousands of people, and they have a few hundred followers themselves. This is the I'll follow you if you'll follow me and really this is pointless for anyone who wants to see content. Its fine if all you want to do is sell sell sell. But consider this if you want people to read and appreciate your content: if they follow hundred of thousands of people, there's not way that they are going to pay any attention to your work. It'll be lost in the shuffle.

Between the blog, Twitter and Buzz two of the three bast higher numbers in followers versus following. It just may be possible that I'm doing something right. Don't faint.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Being that I love comics in a way that may be considered unhealthy, I also love it when people who make good comics get their due. So when Mark Waid was shown the door over at DC I was not happy because he makes great comics. I honestly think some powers that be over there saw him as a bit of a threat because Waid could do his job better and the fans knew it. But that's history and Mister Waid has moved on over to Boom. Boom at the time had been struggling a bit. They had good stuff, but it wasn't quite hitting with readers.

Enter Mark Waid: Editor-in-chief. *Cue dramatic music.*

Now just a couple years later the company has won numerous awards and is doing quite well not only with their existing titles, but they have also bought a great line of kids comics to the forefront, which is something that's been sorely lacking. So now he's gotten a promotion to Chief Creative Officer. He'll be expanding the growth of the company in new and exciting ways. So if you haven't checked out what they're up to already, do so and thank me later.

Stepping into his previous position is Matt Gagnon. This was a no-brainer. Gagnon has an eye for talent and isn't afraid to get hands on to make sure the books get out on time. Congratulations to him as well.

CREATING BY DERIVATIVE

Reading a ton of comics does not make one qualified to write one. Certainly it helps in terms of understanding how the pacing works and how the pages break down. The problem is if all you read is one genre, in the case of comic books its most likely superhero, then you'll wind up regurgitating what you've taken in. Chris and I were talking about it last night. The best writers know to draw upon life experience or the life experience of others for their work. They know to look at classic literature to see what in these works have made them stand the test of time.

Same with art. The majority of manga is crap because the artists are under such a tight schedule to produce work that copying is encouraged. That's one of the main reasons for the generally homogeneous look of most manga art. The plots and pretty close to cookie cutter as well. Sure there's a few stand outs, but its very few and good luck finding them.

In creating you most be original and until you find your own voice and style look to others that are stand outs and originals to see what is working for them. This does not mean copying their work. It means examining the ideas and concepts that they are exploring and try to find something in there that resonates with you. But you have to be careful. Just because you think something is brilliant does not mean everyone else thinks so. If you're going to do a piece heavily inspired by Lady Gaga, you need to make sure your audience actually gives a damn about Lady Gaga. It doesn't matter how popular the media thinks she is.

Finding an original voice inside yourself is not easy and you may not have it in you, but its worth looking for.

MUSIC!!

This week I'm listing three of my all time favorite songs. Enjoy.



And that's a wrap for today. I leave with with an asignment. Its Hump Day. Go hump something. Just keep it legal. See ya Friday.

God Flames Green Lantern with Old Spice!

BAH! Its Sunday, July 18, 2010. I don't care what the time stamp says. I'm hunting about for more info about what projects Stan Lee has cooking up with Boom Studios. I hear there's three of them and it involves Superheroes. When I find out more I'll let y'all know. Pretty sure the big announcement will be at the San Diego Comic-con which i won't be attending due to principle.

This is assuming that having no money can count as a principle.

Oh hey, speaking of the nerd prom...

BATTLEGROUND: COMIC-CON!!

San Diego Comic-Con is fast approaching and while I won't be there the Westboro Baptist Church will be. Guess the biggest villains at the show will be standing outside on the sidewalk holding offensive sign and being prepared to sue anyone who says anything bad about them. I don't think Fred Phelps, the leader of this hate group which pretends to be a church, will be making the trip as he is older than hell and was probably holding signs telling Noah that he is a homosexual and his boat won't save him.

His spawn Shirley Phelps-Roper will probably have something to offer, and she is utterly fascinating. There was this video game a few years ago which I'm pretty sure was named FABLE and in it you play out the life of this character who can be either good or evil depending on your choices and actions. A cool feature is that the character changed in appearance, so if you did bad stuff he looked more evil. Looking at a picture of Shirley Phelps-Roper you can actually see the type of person she is. I know that sounds really superficial, but there's not enough foundation in Kansas to cover the eeeeeeevil.

So, the hateful pricks will be standing outside Comic-con with their signs taking a break from protesting the funerals of soldiers to try to offend more people. They say they're doing it because this convention promotes idolatry. They are, of course, a bunch of morons. I would find it hilarious if some guy dressed as Batman got pissed off and waded into the protesters and started throwing knuckles.

Police: "Can you identify the person who assaulted you?"

WBC douchebag: "He was dressed as Batman!"

Police: "This weekend you'll have to be more specific. Did he have an distinguishing features?"

WBC douchbag: "I don't know! He was wearing a mask!"


Of course, I'm not saying somebody should actually do it. That would be wrong. But if someone did do it, and there happens to be a video on YouTube of it happening, I'd appreciate a link.

FLAMEBAIT!!

As YouTube trainwrecks go this one smells really fishy. So a kid is having a breakdown on her webcam complete with her father in the background yelling over her shoulder mostly at people who apparently said mean things about her in the comments of her videos. This was followed up by another video of the same girl, still in tear, and he father claiming to have "backtraced" the comments and alerted the authorities.

Let's assume for a moment that these videos are legit and the girl isn't just flamebait. The girl in question shouldn't be posting videos on YouTube if she can't handle criticism. Second, her parent shouldn't let her be posting videos once they see that there's adverse crap descending upon their family. This requires half a brain in on of the people in the equation and a bit of backbone in the parents. However considering some of the fabulous things I've seen from teens lately there is a chance that this is legit.

More likely is that this girl is flamebait, meaning she's putting on a show to get a reaction. She's reveling in all the crappy comments and jokes at her expense. She's gleefully viewing the response parody videos. She's very proud that this has gotten the attention of Philip DeFranco and William Ray Johnson. She's quite a little actress and the father's over the top performance just adds to the funny. Its a Glee level car crash, and folks are gleefully buying into it. This is the more likely option especially considering there another video of her chatting online with her friends with all the commentary scrolling in front of her and she's not phased in the slightest.

That or this girl is about five nasty comments away from a bottle of sleeping pills.

This serves as a lesson. This situation could be a real one and there are no shortage of victims of "cyber-bullying". The internet is not the friendliest place and parents need to step in at times to make sure everything is cool and there's no problems, and if there are problems it may indeed be time to step away from the internet.

OLD SPICE OWNS US ALL!!

A couple months ago I saw a link to a video of some show called "The Dish" and I clicked to discover that it was hosted by Danielle Fishel who played Topanga on BOY MEETS WORLD in which she co-starred with Will Friedle who was the voice of Terry McGinnis in BATMAN BEYOND proving let again that life is really all about Batman. In that video I saw for the first time the Old Spice Guy.

That's right. The man who has taken the internet by storm. Rarely has such a display of awesome overtaken so many. It's created quite a buzz online, to which Old Spice Guy was happy to engage his fans. He has shown himself to be of the people, even going so far in his efforts to aid humanity as to propose to a woman for someone. Of course she said yes. There is no refusing Old Spice Guy. Even Alyssa Milano isn't immune to his manly charms, although her response does make me think she's a bit of a gold digger.

This is probably one of the cleverest uses of social media in advertising ever. Kudos Old Spice Guy. I shall now go and create a comic tribute to you in which which you save the world from destruction while wearing only a towel.

I totally need a picture of Isaiah Mustafa telling prince "You're Wrong! The Internet can never die!"

FROM OA WITH LOVE!!

There he is. Ryan Reynolds as Green Lantern marking the third comic book character that he's played. There's actually a bit of a stink about the costume. Its computer generated. Reynolds wore a motion capture suit which allowed the CGI whiz-kids to put the suit on him in editing. I've said in the past that I'm not a fan of CGI. Let me clarify: I'm not a fan of CGI in movies when its something that could be done without it like fight scenes, explosions, or Lara Crofts boobs. In this case we have a movie about a guy who can create anything he imagines out of solid green light thanks to his power ring, so this is something that CGI should be used for. So the costume makes for an interesting bit because Green Lantern's in the comics is generated by his ring. So really it makes sense that the same CGI is used to create the costume that creates his rind based constructs. If anything it should make things look more consistent. Credit for using a motion suit so that it is Reynolds actually in action, that scores some points for me.

But will I actually go see it? I'm really on the fence. I like Ryan Reynolds, he's awesome. I like the concept of Green Lantern, but I don't like Hal Jordan as a character. It also may be a bit too much CGI for me to be interested in when I could just rent the animated feature Warner Brothers put out a while back. So, I'm torn.

MUSIC!!

Yet again SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE went above and beyond the call of duty and this time it did so in probably launching a music career. Waitress Christina Perri's song "Jar of hearts" found its way into the hands of choreographer Stacey Tookie, and she used it for one of her pieces for the show. Since then the song has taken off and is doing quite well in the Billboard charts considering she doesn't even have a record label. Here's the piece that launched the song. The dancers are Billy Bell and Kathryn McCormick. Enjoy and don't forget to check out the show on Wednesdays, this show is setting new standards for dance.



POP QUIZ!!

Can you find the guy who blogs too much in this picture?



Alright gang, that's it for today. Now, off with you!

Batman is nicer than Hugo Chavez!

So much stuff! So little time! It's Friday, July 16, 2010 and I'm in charge of feeding virtual fish on Facebook for my wife and kids. It feels like I'm in a George Romero movie and Mark Zuckerberg has bitten my family and I'm waiting for them to turn.

COMIX!!

While it seems like everybody but me were able to get BIRDS OF PREY #3 and I'll have to wait until next week like a shmoe, I'll just have to make due.

BATMAN #701 and SUPERMAN #701 both hit this week, and I found myself pondering something I had not considered before: Is Batman a nicer guy than Superman now? The Batman issue is the story of what happened to Bruce Wayne between R.I.P. and FINAL CRISIS. The Superman issue is the official start of Straczynski's run. The Batman issue clicked big time with me because I'm reading all these thoughts that I had reading the arcs themselves coming from Bruce Wayne. There's an intense weight to the story despite the lack of big action. We know what's going to happen and I'm still pouring over the issue for clues as to possible connections between The Black Glove and Darkseid. The Superman issue is the start of a brand new story arc and unfortunately its horribly dull. It feels like a filler issue, a good one, but still filler. Frankly, if this is what's going to be going on for a year, then I'm out.

But back to my thoughts on who is a nicer guy. Superman gets back to Earth, and is now going to walk around and i guess talk with people or whatever. He just got back from being in space for months. He's got to be a crappiest husband ever. That or Lois Lane is just the most patient and forgiving woman ever to be put on the planet. He's pretty sanctimonious to his detractors. The little things he does like letting a fella know about a heart problem is nice, but over all can't save the story.

Batman on the other hand just survived a serious attempt to take him out, and crawls out on a helicopter crash, and swims to a dock, and after all that he still makes time to have a kind word of the ex-prostitute that he arranged a legitimate job for. He makes sure to thank Alfred, Dick, and Tim before getting a well earned and hard fought for rest. And even though he's still working to unravel and set right the events of R.I.P. he sets that aside when Superman needs his help. Bruce Wayne: stand up dude.

Moving over to BATGIRL we got a really disturbing look at the origin of the Calculator. I thought this was supposed to be the 'fun' Bat-title. I guess fun came with an extra helping of creepy. What's really a kicker is that the calculator turns right around to give the Atom some grief in this week's back-up in ADVENTURE COMICS. Busy guy.

I also enjoyed some R.E.B.E.L.S. this week. Sure didn't take long for Starfire to get nekkid in this title. The unreal amount of hair she suddenly had to hide her orange naughty bits was downright laughable. But I'm still loving this book because for some reason I'm totally into space drama at the moment, and this book delivers it.

BATTLEGROUND: TWITTER!!

Its a hell of a thing when online battleground starts taking real life prisoners, but that's what happened in Venezuela. Seem that big ball of fun and kittens that is Hugo Chavez had a couple of people tossed in jail for making tweets criticizing Venezuelan banking practices. They have a law against being critical about such things. So, surprise Hugo Chavez is actually a scumbag. I hope you all can handle the shock.

So, there's a bit of a tweet counter insurgency going on. Philip DeFranco struck back on his YouTube show and encouraged his viewers to #HugoChavezSucks on Twitter. Makes me wonder if you'd get thrown in jail in Venezuela for doing that.

What we have to remember is that Venezuela does not have a lot of the freedoms other countries like the United States enjoy. DeFranco also noted in his show that some countries have banned Twitter altogether. This brings us to the idiocy that was the massive fail Everybody Draw Muhammad Day. Now, the anti Hugo Chavez e-campaign is in every way superior to EDMD. Its specifically targeted. The biggest flaw with EDMD was the collateral damage. It offended people who had done nothing wrong. It also forced some governments to remove tools of free speech which was pretty much the opposite of what EDMD claimed to be trying to accomplish. The Chavez thing is simple. If you think he sucks, hashtag it on Twitter.

But what if Chavez blocks twitter in Venezuela? Well, then it won't be there for him to use to throw people in jail. Also, there's so way for him to justify that action without looking like a butthurt little e-girl.

DANCE HARD!!

For the second week in a row a contestant on SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE has had to pull out of the competition due to injury. For those who have not seen the program the performances are incredibly athletic displays of dance. Its very demanding and it seems like every season the competitors and choreographers push themselves to try to top the previous seasons. Its insane what these people do with their bodies, and frankly everyone who gives a damn about performing arts should be watching this show. I got asked today "What the difference between it and Dancing with the Stars?" and the answer is simple: it is far and away superior in terms of the level of technique and performance that is displayed.

Here's hoping the rest of the competitors stay healthy and I wish Alex and Ashley speedy recoveries.

TEAM BUFFY STRIKES!!




MUSIC!!

Was listening to the album on the way home from Karate. Love the album, love the song.



POP QUIZ!!


1: How much does Hugo Chavez suck?

2: Who would you rather have dinner with: Superman or Batman?

That's it for today. I know there's some big announcements coming up in comics so I'm going to keep my ear to the ground and see if I can find out some things. Might have some cool stuff for Sunday. See y'all then.

NEWSFLASH!

WAID SMASH D-BOX!!!

Its Wednesday, July 14, 2010 and I'm going to the dentist at seven in the morning here. He's the only one I know of that has performed oral surgery while armed. This is good because if things get too hairy he can just put me down.

"Good-bye, ol Nozz."

::BLAM!!::

TERRANCE HOWARD'D?!

What could the The Incredible Hulk and Kitty Pryde from the X-Men possibly have in common? Quite possibly having three different people play them on the big screen. And the song and dance continues as to whether or not Edward Norton will play Bruce Banner in the impending AVENGERS movie. The movie rep states that it wanted an actor that plays better with others, and would fit better with an ensemble cast. It was at that point that Norton and his agent said "WTF?"

I didn't see INCREDIBLE HULK, although I might rent it. I didn't see the older HULK movie with Eric Bana either. I didn't hear much good about either movie and passed on both. That said, I like Edward Norton as an actor. I read the statement from the movie company's rep and it just seems fishy. All other indications pointed towards everyone being excited about the project. Everyone involved creatively seemed to be cool with everything. But it looks like this little snafu is really about money. And if this is indeed the case it was a stupid movie on the movie rep's part to spread some BS around about creative problems. I know there's some unspoken rule about how you're not supposed to say it was because you couldn't pay what this guy wants, but don't go saying you want an actor that would work better with an ensemble when the actor you've drawn into question is Edward Norton.

So now its wait and see time. For all I know this is just a bit of drama stirring to make things more surprising and interesting if Norton appears with the other confirmed cast members at the San Diego Comic-Con.

THERE GOES MY POPCORN

I don't like 3D, but some people do. In fact some people just want to be dumped in the middle of the movie. Of that group some of them just really want to get into it to get a brief respite from things, and a small portion of that group are the type of pathetic bastards that got depression because really life wasn't as beautiful as the world in that AVATAR movie. However sometimes 3D just isn't enough. You don't want to just look like you're in the film, you want to feel like it too. Enter: the D-Box.

D-Box the precursor to X-Box twenty time removed and while it can't play Halo it can make your chair move. Soon it might make your chair move while you play Halo. Its technology that can move the chair you sit in while you're watching something like those theme park rides in which you don't actually go anywhere and while nifty make me nauseous if I'm one there too long. I rode the Spider-man ride at Universal Studios Florida and some of the screens malfunctioned. When the ride came to an end a very pretty redhead asked us riders if all the screens had works. "Mary Jane?" I replied, slightly dizzy. But she put us through to the front of the line to ride the ride again since everything had not worked the first time.

I then needed about a half an hour to recover.

Its like this: I spend about two hours a day driving to and from work. I'm often perched in slightly precarious positions at work and spent more time than I would like in places that I would fall off of if I moved the wrong way. In my off time I don't really want to sit in anything that moves. My couch don't move around a lot. Sure, it reclines, but that's when I want it too, and that enhances my movie watching experience just fine.

Save the dumb gimmicks and just give me good movies.

TOP 10!!

Mark Waid announced this week that he was through reading superhero comics. Why would a guy who writes some of the best superhero comics, and was one of the key writers to drag superheroes out of the 90s muck with his FLASH run say such a thing? Hell, I don't know, but this here is the internet and if we don't know something, there's just one thing to do: make shit up.

The Top 10 reasons why Mark Waid is giving up on reading superhero comics!

10: Moved on to manga.

9: Upset that retro-boot Brainiac 5 doesn't have a proper haircut.

8: BOOM Studios weekly editorial kegger got out of hand and Waid said things he really didn't mean.

7: Spent years making Wally West the best Flash ever only to have it struck down by idiotic fanboy meme.

6: Frustrated that Kid Eternity was kidnapped six months ago and the rest of the Teen Titans STILL haven't noticed.

5: Superman's new power seems to be angst.

4: Decided to wait for the movie.

3: New direction on Wonder Woman is so awful that he fears being anywhere near it will destroy his since of whimsy utterly.

2: Really upset that Gail Simone killed Savant and Creote during Gay Pride Month.

and the number one reason why Mark Waid is done reading superhero comics is...

Three words: Reverse Speed Force.

FANBOY DICTIONARY!

Its time once again for another addition to the Fanboy Dictionary. That's right, yet another translation of what seems to be English when passed through the mind of social ignoramus.

*GRAPHIC NOVEL: n: a work of serious literature that, despite looking like a comic book, is for a mature and sophisticated audience

"It does not matter that WATCHMEN was originally released as twelve floppy issues, its really a graphic novel and the greatest one ever!"

MUSIC!!

Read some weird stuff in a UK magazine called PARANORMAL with fun articles about where Atlantis could be and ghosts. One article was a piece by a guy who had summoned some demons. Gotta watch out for those types!



POP QUIZ!!

1: Who would you like to see playing Bruce Banner if Norton doesn't?

2: What are your thoughts on D-Box?

That's it for today. I'm currently making a sane attempt at using Twitter since that seems to be where some interesting things are happening. You can find me here. See ya!

Its really still all about Batman

It Sunday, July 11, 2010, and in typing up all this stuff I kept finding Batman references in every item I discussed. He's speaking to me, I just know it.

BAT-CODE?!

One of my three-year-olds got a hold of my latest issue of BATMAN AND ROBIN and was examining it. I knew if I tried to take it away she'd throw a fit and it was far too early to deal with that. And she had something to offer.

"See? Batman. See?" And she offered me the comic, which I accepted and thanked her, but that wasn't all. "No. Upside down." Now this struck me as odd, but not much odder than much of the stuff that comes out of her and her twin sister's mouths. After all until very recently they referred to zebras as "Douglas". But I looked at the Frank Quitely drawn cover and it was right side up. "No. Upside down" She insisted, and yet again in order to avoid a meltdown before eight in the morning I obliged her and turned the issue upside down. "See?" I wasn't sure what she was on about, but that's not unusual. All I saw was Robin standing over a kneeling Joker ready to bash his head in with a crowbar as Batman was diving to stop him, but of course inverted.

"See what, honey?" I asked.

"F." And suddenly it snapped into focus. When inverted the figures of Robin and Joker form the letter 'F'. So like any rational human being I immediately dove through my comics hunting down every issue of BATMAN AND ROBIN I could lay hands on turning them in multiple ways in order to try to divine the secret message that Quitely has been sending to the readers over the part year. No luck so far.

I may have finally snapped.

RETRO TV!!

The great thing about technology moving forward is that I can get stuff I missed the first time around pretty cheap. And to make matters even better is the good old $5 DVD bin at Wal-Mart. Hot damn, but I love me some Wal-Mart. That bin is a treasure trove of crap, but if you dig deep enough you can find some real gems buried in there.

Now, a while back Kristie, in all her awesomeness, did an online group viewing of the first season of THE X-FILES, which I started off doing really well in keeping up, but eventually fell hopelessly behind the rest of the group in the viewing schedule and frankly did not have a prayer of keeping up. I am truly sad and pathetic like that. Now that show is a classic and it held up in some regards and was horribly dated in other ways. So when I spotted the first season of 21 JUMP STREET for $5 I knew I had to check it out.

This show was THE show when I was a kid. It started this new guy Johnny something, oh yeah, Johnny Depp. I think he had a modest movie career after the show. It was also the launching point for Holly Robinson Peete who recently was a finalist on THE CELEBRITY APPRENTICE. I watched the two part pilot yesterday. The sound quality was a bit lacking as its a pretty bare bones package. Still the show itself was pretty good. Sure the fashion and the pop culture references were VEEEEERY dated as a kids was pissed off and bitter that his folks won't let him go to a Eurhythmics concert, obviously because they are a horrible influence. It was also a riot to see cops have to use pay phones. Even the rich crooks didn't have cell phones, not even the big brick ones that you could club a man to death with.

Irony and snark aside, it was a fun viewing. Yeah, a lot of it was contrived as hell and kind of dumb, but at the center of it was a solid concept. It was a cool show when it wasn't trying to be a 'kool' show.

ACTION STAR TOURNEY!!

July's Google Buzz tourney is going strong. This month Buzzards are picking their favorite action movie stars.

Chow Yun Fat terminated Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Samuel L Jackson shot down Tom Cruise.

John Wayne took out Liam Neeson.

Bruce Willis barely got by Jackie Chan.

Brad Pitt kicked Sylvester Stallone out of the Fight Club.

Christian Bale beat Charles Bronson in a battle of coolest guy with the initials "CB".

Clint Eastwood dropped Mel Gibson faster than Gibson's management.

Jet Li proved there is someone that can beat Chuck Norris.

PRINCE OF LIES!!

Its all over, folks. I might as well shut down the blog, take down all the short stories, and get rid of all the webcomic pages, the internet is all over according the reliable source formerly known as that little purple dude with a weird symbol instead of a name. Pee on the fie. Call in the dogs. Its time to hang it up. Who am I to argue with the artist that gave us "Batdance".

I like Prince's music, a lot of it anyhow, but ultimately this statement is sore grapes because his website didn't do as well as he thought it would. Its a pretty lame statement and the type I'd expect from someone a lot less mature. Its like a kid doesn't make the football team and declares that "football is stupid anyways".

MUSIC!!

No particular reason. Enjoy some Fratellis, because I do.



POP QUIZ!!


1: What could possibly make the internet 'over'?

2: What's the last older TV show you watched online, on Netflix, or however you watch older TV?

That's it for this time around. Prepare for the work week, and I'll talk to y'all Wednesday.

Rip Hunter, party of one?

Its Friday, July 9, 2010 and with Bruce Wayne bouncing around time a bit I figured on doing the same.

COMIX!!

This week was small but solid, and highlighted by BATMAN AND ROBIN #13 which should come as no surprise by those who have suffered through me gushing like a loon about how damn good Grant Morrison's run on Batman has been. There's been a bit of a gap between #12 and #13 to get the current storyline set up with THE RETURN OF BRUCE WAYNE. This is fine because now we have two storylines in two comics both heading to the same station.

Frazer Irving takes on the art chores on this stint of the run and its a joy. His style is so very clean and clear, and it delivers. There's so much going on in this story that it takes this straight forward approach to hit us with it. There's no ambiguity to what we are presented. The history of the Black Glove in what seems like an Elseworlds story, but this character is right in the face of the readers. Then there's the seemingly sane Joker, and this really shone through in Irving's artwork because he made the Joker seem almost normal in a normal setting. There was no exaggeration to him in how he was drawn, but his later mannerisms showed more than all the "dynamic" artwork would properly convey. Even the seeming execution scene at the beginning of the story is presented in a very matter of fact manner.

Note my use of seeming.

The Black Glove seems to be Thomas Wayne. The Joker seems to want to help Batman against the Black Glove. One of the key prophecies of BATMAN #666 seems to come to pass.

But what do we know?

We know there's an eclipse coming and those mark Bruce Wayne's pinballing through time. We know if Bruce Wayne reaches the present then bad things will happen. We know this was set in motion by Darkseid. We also know that the Joker knows something he isn't letting onto quite yet.

Which leads us to our suspicions. We suspect that the Black Glove may be the devil himself, but if this is a the case, and it is the result of the Omega Sanction that has Bruce Wayne bouncing through time, what exactly is the relationship between the two. Everything is wrapped very tightly into a narrative ball, and in the next couple of months we'll see which way it bounces.


HOME ARCHEOLOGY!!

The Missus discovered some books behind a drawer in the kitchen. Many of them contained recipes and quite a few of those were hand written. Beautiful handwriting too. Among the books was IN TIME OF EMERGENCY: A CITIZEN'S HANDBOOK ON ... NUCLEAR ATTACK ... NATURAL DIASTERS which was published by the Department of Defense and the Office of Civil Defense in march of 1968. The following is an excerpt on Improvising an outdoor fallout shelter.

If your home has no basement, no storm cellar and no protected crawl space, here are two ways of improvising fallout protection in you yard:

*Dig an L-shaped trench, about 4 feet deep and 3 feet wide. One side of the L, which will be the shelter area, should be long enough to accommodate all family members. The other side of the L can be shorter, since its purpose is to serve as an entrance-way and to reduce the amount of radiation getting into the shelter area.

Cover the entire shelter with lumber (or with house doors that have been taken off their hinges), except for about 2 feet on the short side of the L, to provide access and ventilation.

On top of the lumber or doors, pile earth 1 to 2 feet high, or cover them with other shielding material.

If necessary, support or "shore up" the wall of the trench, as well ad the lumber or doors, so they will not collapse.

*Dig a shallow ditch, 6 inches deep and 6 inches wide, parallel to and 4 feet from the outside wall of your house.

Remove the heaviest doors from the house. Place the bottoms of the doors in the ditch (so they won't slip), and lean the doors against the wall of the house.

On the doors, pile 12 to 18 inches of earth or sand. Stack or pile other shielding material at the sides of the doors, and also on the other side of the house wall (to protect you against radiation coming from that direction).

If possible, make the shelter area deeper by digging out more earth inside it. Also dig some other shallow ditches, to allow rain water to drain away.


Yeah. Pretty sure I'd be very much dead.

FUTURE TECH!!

And now we move onto the future, where the movies come to life.



I find this interesting from a writer's standpoint. I have no use for it, but I sit and wonder while reading BIRDS OF PREY why is Oracle still using a keyboard? Its like a reverse of when GLOBAL FREQUENCY had that TV pilot that unfortunately did not get picked up and Warren Ellis had described the phones used by GF agents to a Nokia representative and their response was "We've got those." Communication tech is keeping pace with sci-fi, but in terms of how people interact with computers truth seems to outpace a lot of fiction.

But then tech doesn't make people smarter. Take phone solicitors for instance...

Joey: Hello?

Phone solicitor: Hello sir, we're calling to see if you're interested in upgrading your telephone service.

Joey: We don't have a phone.

Phone solicitor: Oh. Alright. Thank you.

Click.

MUSIC!!

And in keeping with our themes of comics and time travel here's the theme song to the movie TIMECOP based off a comic from Dark Horse.



POP QUIZ!!


1: If you could time travel, when and where would you go?

2: What do you think about the true identity of The Black Glove?

3: What's the coolest old thing you've discovered?

That's it for Friday. Leave a comment and if you have G-Mail head over to my Buzz to vote in this month's Tourney to determine the best action movie star.