Batman Hates Women!

Its Sunday, November 21, 2010, I could use some more sleep, and this is The Side. Why could I use some more sleep you might ask. Because last night was fight night and I was up late. Its tough sometimes when you like both the guys that are fighting. I like Rampage Jackson. I like Lyoto Machida. We pretty much only cheered for Machida more because he's a Karate guy. So we were slightly disappointed that Machida didn't win, but there will be a rematch.

Good ol Rampage. Last night he proved that you can indeed give an entertaining interview after a win and still be gracious in your victory.


Being a loyal employee, I volunteered to give the latest account of Wayne Enterprises newest venture, Batman Inc. Our shareholders will be happy to know that Mister Wayne himself has taken time out of his busy schedule to oversee the matter himself. Yes, certainly it looks like he's back to his jet setting ways as he whisks off to Japan with his ladyfriend, but I can assure you that she is valuable to the this newest franchise and more than just another pretty face.

Mister Wayne is looking and acting more revitalized than ever. His demeanor is more pleasurable. He's much more relaxed and enjoyable to have around. Still, its obvious that he's got a firm hand in things he takes charge and handles every crisis thrown his way. His opposition in the boardroom just doesn't stand a chance.

There has been a setback in our Japanese acquisitions, but unfortunately these things happen when your playing for such high stakes. Japan is definitely a competitive market and we at Batman Inc. are determined to make a go of it. Mister Wayne and his associate have already done their best to learn about local popular culture although there's been a few bumps in the road, there's no doubt that the franchise is looking to be a profitable and pleasurable venture.

For a more detailed account of things, go grab a copy of BATMAN INC. #1 wherever finer periodicals are sold.

And remember, we here at Batman Inc. care, and we're watching you.


Republicans in the Senate voted against a bill that was for equal pay for women. This comes to no surprise to many because as we are told Republicans, particularly those Conservative ones, are the bane of existence and what is wrong with everything in the country today. They hate women. They hate minorities. They hate poor people. All they want is money and power. Every last one of them is bestest buddies with George W. Bush, AKA The Great Satan. And they will destroy the planet with global warming in their efforts to kill Muslims because they think they're all terrorists.

Did I cover everything?

Scary thing is that there's actually people who believe all that crap. Of course none of that is true. So if none of it is true then why did they vote against a bill which would help women fight discrimination? Because that wasn't the point of the bill. There's already existing legislation that give women plenty of option to fight pay discrimination. The only thing this bill would do is allow them to sue for more money. And by them suing for more money, their lawyers would get more money. What's Congress packed with? BUNCH OF LAWYERS! It would also be bad for businesses because they have to have insurance to protect themselves from lawsuits like this. Costs money. And if a lawsuit is big enough it could really hurt that company. Now some people may be thinking, well so what? Its just a company. They're a bunch of greed jerks anyways. No a company is more than just some guy sitting on a pile of money that he's taken. Its people. People who have families and depend of the pay they get from these companies. But they don't matter because someone thinks they're entitled to a big fat payday.

So, this bill was defeated because it was mostly redundant and was really just a way for lawyers to make more money? So, why didn't the first article say that? Easy. It fits with their narrative of what Republicans are supposed to be. This bill was supposed to be about equal rights, and even if it really wasn't, it go voted down by Republicans, and no matter how valid the reason is, that can be used to say "Republicans don't believe in equal rights". And of course, people are busy, won't do the very little digging it took to reveal that article to be crap, and go on with their day thinking Republicans hate women or some such nonsense.

Bills aren't what they used to be. There's a ton of stuff packed into them. So a bill about Military funding could have a bit in there about money for a federal game reserve in Oregon. These are called earmarks. They are there so that congress doesn't have to bring up, debate on and vote on every last bit of business individually. They are supposed to help things run smoother. Unfortunately, they end up making really expensive bills, and there can be some weird stuff shoved into a bill.

Time for a hypothetical. Let's say we have a bill going before Congress about making it so all vehicles and machines run on fairy dust instead of gasoline. Oil companies have processed fairy dust, so that its super cheap and the only by product of using it is smiles and laughter. OK, so the Government want to make it a law that by a reasonable date car companies will switch over to the new fairy dust power engines and get a big ol tax break for doing so. So, this thing is a winner all the way around.

The bill goes to committee where the staffs of these Congressional folk put this thing together. Oh wait. You thought the Congressional folk did that themselves? That's so cute. Anyhow, someone slips into this bill an earmark for thousands of dollars for the expressed purpose of killing puppies and kittens. Now let's say some of the Congressional folk actually do their jobs and read what the hell they're voting on and say "WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT! I'm not voting for a bill that's going to allocate money for killing puppies and kittens! I love puppies and kittens!" So the bill gets voted down, where it can be retooled to remove the killing puppies and kittens earmark and then voted on again.

But the message can be twisted by media. Ignore the killing puppies and kittens part. The people who voted against this bill MUST be against fairies, fairy dust, smiles and laughter. This can also be used by their future political opponents.
"Marty Nozz voted against smiles and laughter. He's already well documented on his stance of hugs and pie. Is this the type of man you want representing you in Congress? Of course not. Vote Deffie McDouchebag."
Welcome to politics.


Is the accordion the new banjo? Only time will tell. Thanks, Kat!

Alright, I'll see you guy on Wednesday. After that I'm going to be gone for a week due to the Thanksgiving holiday. I'm heading up to the mountain to spend time with the old man, and probably get some training in. There's not much by way of internet up there so you're just going to have to deal with my absence as best you can.

Try to hold back the tears.


Crushling said...

I dunno how many punk bands I've seen fronted by banjos... and punk they definitely are, I was there for the moshpit. :3 Glad you liked 'em! And have a great Thanksgiving.

Marty Nozz said...

Enjoy your Thanksgiving as well! Thanks for sharing a unique find.