Cornell makes the world better

I'M BACK! It's Wednesday, December 1, 2010, gravy runs thick through my veins, and this is The Side!

As yes, Thanksgiving. It was a time of much traveling, spending time with family, and eating until I thought I would explode. The traveling was long, but the scenery was pretty, and also laughable as a big billboard in West Virginia read "What Would Jesus Do? Start over. Single Payer Healthcare. Everyone in. Nobody out." This sign was brought to us by www.bunch-of-morons-who-want-the-government-to-take-care-of-them-instead-of-being-responsible-for-their-own-lives.org and I'm also pretty sure Jesus wouldn't be advocating socialist solutions to healthcare problems. He'd probably be doing the laying of the hands bit.

Once there I got to relax and attempt to enjoy the Macy's Parade with the kids, which I finally did get to see all the neat floats and balloons after NBC shilled all their shows I don't care about, and a performance from every show that is even considering performing on Broadway. That's except for the Spider-man show which would have performed, but the actors got stuck up on the wires and couldn't get down. When did the Macy's Parade start sucking?

GETTING BETTER?

There's a social project going on to support teens of various sexualities against bullying called the It Gets Better Project. This features messages from adults aimed at teens of various sexualities to let them know that even though things suck for them at that moment, if they just hang in there that things will improve. They want bullying to end. Unfortunately, bullying will never end because there's always going to be some kid who is pissed off at the world and has enough weight behind him to push it around. Also I'm not seeing a big improvement in parenting across the boards so kids who think its OK to beat the crap out of other kids for whatever reason will occasionally spring up. Still, as far as activism goes its a damn sight better than it idiocy that is Feminist Hulk.

The thing is that things don't just get better for most of us. Gay kids aren't the only ones getting bullied. In fact if you go to most teenagers and get an honest view of life from their eyes, most of them are going have a pretty sucky one. Even that kid at school who's the most popular one there and everyone loves them has their own crap that they have to deal with on an everyday basis. You may not see it, but its there. I had a pretty easy go of things when I was teenagers, and I thought that things sucked for me. Have things improved, or gotten better, now that I'm an adult? Of course not. There's now different things that suck. I don't worry about bullying, partly due to being able to throw a hell of a punch, but because there's bigger things to worry about like paying bills and making sure that my family is alright.

Your current situation is temporary, unless you are dead, and in that case, disregard this message.

The choices you makes are what are going to decide whether or not things will get better. Bullying can indeed be the very least of your problems. And it is a problem. I'm not saying that it isn't, or that whatever is making any teenager's view of life a sucky one isn't a completely valid reason. But its something you can deal with. Bullying can be dealt with. The site also says that there are LGBT youths who can't imagine a future for themselves. Seriously, that's most youths, not just the gay ones. Sometimes that's not even them being depressed about something. That's just being a teenagers and the concept of being a 'grown up' is like a make believe thingie.

Jay Medicine Hat told a story about being stuck in traffic in some city in Colorado. It was snowing and cold as hell and he and his buddy are bitching about the whole thing. Then they find out why traffic is backed up. A guy in wheelchair was trying to get across the street and got stuck in the snow. People are yelling and honking their horns at him. So Jay and his buddy get out of the car, and pick up the guy in the wheelchair and get him over to a sidewalk in front of a hotel where there was no snow. The guy looks up and says "Thanks, fellas, I thought I was going to be late for work."

Life sucks. Complaining doesn't help, but it can make you feel a little better. So after you vent, go out and do what you can to deal with your problems and make your life a bit better. It may take a while and there's no guarantee that things will be great, but it sure as hell beats the alternative.

MAKING IT BETTER?

The area I live in is often referred to by people who think they are cool as the "7 Cities". Well some of those cities are not quite a desirable to live in as others. Sure there are nice places to live in every city, but when the "murder report" comes on the news every night certain places tend to get more mentions. I've worked in all these cities, and one of them has an area that's quite a bit worse than the others. Typically, when the sun starts to go down, you better be in your truck and heading in the general direction of the fuck outta there.

I come to find out that a building I've worked on for years doing things like fixing leaks because when you fire a gun into the air the bullet has to come down somewhere, is going to be demolished. I am here to say that demolishing this building will be an improvement. The interesting part is that this area will be the start of a new "town center" which will feature upscale restaurants and stores. So they're hoping to take one of the crappiest areas around, put a bunch of really nice stuff there, and hope that its such a good influence that it spreads making the whole area nicer. They're going to need a lot more cops out there.

They did do this in another city which was one we left quickly when the sun set. This was a bit smarted in there cunning plan as instead of starting as an oasis amid a desert of just horrible crap they started on one end to town and worked south. It was like a slow moving wave, but it worked and now about half of the downtown area is pretty decent. It does seem weird when you get to the invisible line where the restoration ends. They built a nice little Kelly's Tavern, and two blocks away is where a guy threatened to shoot me for being white in the wrong part of town.

So will it work? Damned if I know. I'm just waiting for the city to start knocking down the crap out there and seeing the residents on TV complaining how they're tearing down historical stuff.

COMIX!!

It has come to my attention that Paul Cornell is slowly but surely taking over the DCU. I fully support this. He jumped on BATMAN AND ROBIN #17 with Scott McDaniel and gave us the opening to a fun little three parter. I'm not terribly sure about Damien smiling so much, but this book was so much fun that I could easily look past it. This book has Dick and Damien working on a mystery and having a grand time of it. Its obvious that the book has moved on from the Morrison epic as there's no hint of the previous storyline here, although it could be argued that the "hole in things" has changed zip codes.

Moving over to more Cornelliness in ACTION COMICS #895 Vandal Savage has a bone to pick with Lex Luthor. It involves a nasty old prophesy and stuff. I'm not a big Vandal Savage fan. The whole thing with him being Cain was kinda weird, but this version works pretty well for me. It wasn't a huge funfest like the last view issues, but it was still good stuff. Robo-Lois is always a treat. The Jimmy Olson back-up was really great as well. It hadn't really been clicking for me up 'til now, but this installment was hoot. I want to go shop at Yarn barn because of it.

Moving away from the Cornelliness we have DETECTIVE COMICS #871 with Scott Snyder and Jock taking the helm. I haven't been the biggest fan of Jock, but his style works really well with this story. Snyder spins an interesting mystery putting Dick Grayson chasing after a foe who is using equipment from Gotham's rogues. He handles Dick very well and the interaction between him and Jim Gordon was a definite high point for me. I'm not reading all the Bat-titles despite how it may appear, but this one is still got my attention. Its a vast improvement from that terrible Hine story that just wrapped up.

ATOMICA #3 rounds out my reads this week. This issue was pleasantly weird with Atomica fighting the Omega Neutron Identity, which is an oddball super robot that has an adaptive personality. It was supposed to be a learning program, unfortunately it got stuck in a room with a radio on a bad pop station. It then ran amuck, destroying things and chanting “raw raw raw” while wearing stupid costumes and dancing strangely. Never had I wanted anything in a comic to be destroyed so horribly. I was hoping for the big “Atomic Power Punch”, but instead I got a curve ball as Atomica pacified the thing with a combination of classical music and kids songs. It felt a bit like a bait and switch, but I rolled with it as Atomica is easily a pluckiest hero to come along in years.

MUSIC!!

That's it for today. More comic stuff on Friday. See you then. Or else.

Its Whedon's Universe, we just geek out in it....

Gobble gobble. Its Wednesday, November 24, 2010, tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and this is The Side.

So what am I thankful for?

I'm thankful to be working steadily. I'm thankful to have a roof over my head and food in my family's bellies. I'm thankful for my family and friends. I'm thankful to all my followers on here. There's ten times more of you now than last year. Some of you are still strangers to me, others are friends, a few of you I see as family, and you know who you are.

So to everyone, enjoy the holiday with your loved ones, and travel safe.

SCIENCE!!

So, I'm thinking about the origin of the Universe, and how it relates to Batman, which typically would be insane, but this times its not (HA!) because Greg Rucka was the one who posted the link.



A universe that existed before our own? Nonsense, you say? PIFFLE! Because we all know Galactus survived the Big Bang so something had to be there, right? And let's not even start on the thingie with CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS, or ZERO HOUR since as it stands a fairly mundane superhero caused the Big Band. Sorry to all the Damage fans out there. All eight of you.

Seriously, a lot of the comics I've read put forth a lot of fun stuff about time. Recently Batman was at the end of time in which the last outpost was being destroyed by the heat death of the universe. The Flash once outran death by running forward in time and looping back to the beginning of time and finally making it back to the present. The big bang has also been shown in comics to have an opposite number "The Big Crunch", which I'm fairly certain Wolverine has survived.

Here's the theory, the Big Bang happened and the universe has been expanding since. But at some point, that expansion will stop and everything will begin to be drawn back into a single point, at which time things will get very crowded. There's also a thought that this cycle is like a loop so on some insane-o cosmic time table this could all have happened before and will happen again.

But that's how the universe is, and that's why I love it so. There's always stuff blowing up, or something getting sucked into something. And there's the weird crap that no one's quite sure what the hell is going on with. And we find thing out there, that might contain or be suitable for sustaining life. Then there's our gas giant planets with cool rings and spots running interference for us with their insane gravity wells to prevent space crap from smashing into us more than it does.

Oh, and Pluto might be a planet again, which is awesome because it'll always be a planet to me. I love Pluto.

And sometimes I worry that in the center of the Milky Way Galaxy there is a mother of a black hole sucking everything in and we're circling the drain at an insane speed, but its all so big that we don't notice it. I don't know why I worry about that.

But I do think its cool, because its reality. Reality is everything that exists in space and the events that occur in time. While reality TV mostly sucks, reality itself can be pretty damned epic.

It also makes for excellent fodder for writing comics.

YOUTUBERY!!

Chad, Matt, and Rob have been at it again. Go have some fun, but remember, its not shampoo, it's fuel.

BIZARRO BUFFY!!

As I discussed before, there is a new BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER MOVIE in the works, and it has nothing to do with Joss Whedon who created the character. This came as upseting news to many long time fans. But what does Whedon himself really think? Well, someone asked him, and he answered. So for those wailing and gnashing their teeth about the matter, take a cue from your Lord and Master, Whedon: just laugh at it. It's not the first time Hollywood has sought to cash in on something with an existing fanbase and screwed the pooch. That's why there's a pretty cool looking Kung-Fu movie out now on DVD called "THE KARATE KID".

Still, our sympathy goes out to Joss, that poor guy, as he deals with what's being done with his creation while still soldiering on to work on THE AVENGERS movie. Hopefully that movie will be enough to keep a little food on his table. Its hard being a struggling writer in these tough economic times.

MUSIC!!

Because Thanksgiving is all about family, being thankful, eating turkey and an old hippie with a guitar.




OK, that's it. I'm getting in my car and heading to the mountain in about an hour or so. You have the weekend off from my insanity, but I expect you all back here next Wednesday sharpish. See ya, then.

Batman Hates Women!

Its Sunday, November 21, 2010, I could use some more sleep, and this is The Side. Why could I use some more sleep you might ask. Because last night was fight night and I was up late. Its tough sometimes when you like both the guys that are fighting. I like Rampage Jackson. I like Lyoto Machida. We pretty much only cheered for Machida more because he's a Karate guy. So we were slightly disappointed that Machida didn't win, but there will be a rematch.

Good ol Rampage. Last night he proved that you can indeed give an entertaining interview after a win and still be gracious in your victory.

COMIX!!

Being a loyal employee, I volunteered to give the latest account of Wayne Enterprises newest venture, Batman Inc. Our shareholders will be happy to know that Mister Wayne himself has taken time out of his busy schedule to oversee the matter himself. Yes, certainly it looks like he's back to his jet setting ways as he whisks off to Japan with his ladyfriend, but I can assure you that she is valuable to the this newest franchise and more than just another pretty face.

Mister Wayne is looking and acting more revitalized than ever. His demeanor is more pleasurable. He's much more relaxed and enjoyable to have around. Still, its obvious that he's got a firm hand in things he takes charge and handles every crisis thrown his way. His opposition in the boardroom just doesn't stand a chance.

There has been a setback in our Japanese acquisitions, but unfortunately these things happen when your playing for such high stakes. Japan is definitely a competitive market and we at Batman Inc. are determined to make a go of it. Mister Wayne and his associate have already done their best to learn about local popular culture although there's been a few bumps in the road, there's no doubt that the franchise is looking to be a profitable and pleasurable venture.

For a more detailed account of things, go grab a copy of BATMAN INC. #1 wherever finer periodicals are sold.

And remember, we here at Batman Inc. care, and we're watching you.

POP POLITICS!!

Republicans in the Senate voted against a bill that was for equal pay for women. This comes to no surprise to many because as we are told Republicans, particularly those Conservative ones, are the bane of existence and what is wrong with everything in the country today. They hate women. They hate minorities. They hate poor people. All they want is money and power. Every last one of them is bestest buddies with George W. Bush, AKA The Great Satan. And they will destroy the planet with global warming in their efforts to kill Muslims because they think they're all terrorists.

Did I cover everything?

Scary thing is that there's actually people who believe all that crap. Of course none of that is true. So if none of it is true then why did they vote against a bill which would help women fight discrimination? Because that wasn't the point of the bill. There's already existing legislation that give women plenty of option to fight pay discrimination. The only thing this bill would do is allow them to sue for more money. And by them suing for more money, their lawyers would get more money. What's Congress packed with? BUNCH OF LAWYERS! It would also be bad for businesses because they have to have insurance to protect themselves from lawsuits like this. Costs money. And if a lawsuit is big enough it could really hurt that company. Now some people may be thinking, well so what? Its just a company. They're a bunch of greed jerks anyways. No a company is more than just some guy sitting on a pile of money that he's taken. Its people. People who have families and depend of the pay they get from these companies. But they don't matter because someone thinks they're entitled to a big fat payday.

So, this bill was defeated because it was mostly redundant and was really just a way for lawyers to make more money? So, why didn't the first article say that? Easy. It fits with their narrative of what Republicans are supposed to be. This bill was supposed to be about equal rights, and even if it really wasn't, it go voted down by Republicans, and no matter how valid the reason is, that can be used to say "Republicans don't believe in equal rights". And of course, people are busy, won't do the very little digging it took to reveal that article to be crap, and go on with their day thinking Republicans hate women or some such nonsense.

Bills aren't what they used to be. There's a ton of stuff packed into them. So a bill about Military funding could have a bit in there about money for a federal game reserve in Oregon. These are called earmarks. They are there so that congress doesn't have to bring up, debate on and vote on every last bit of business individually. They are supposed to help things run smoother. Unfortunately, they end up making really expensive bills, and there can be some weird stuff shoved into a bill.

Time for a hypothetical. Let's say we have a bill going before Congress about making it so all vehicles and machines run on fairy dust instead of gasoline. Oil companies have processed fairy dust, so that its super cheap and the only by product of using it is smiles and laughter. OK, so the Government want to make it a law that by a reasonable date car companies will switch over to the new fairy dust power engines and get a big ol tax break for doing so. So, this thing is a winner all the way around.

The bill goes to committee where the staffs of these Congressional folk put this thing together. Oh wait. You thought the Congressional folk did that themselves? That's so cute. Anyhow, someone slips into this bill an earmark for thousands of dollars for the expressed purpose of killing puppies and kittens. Now let's say some of the Congressional folk actually do their jobs and read what the hell they're voting on and say "WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT! I'm not voting for a bill that's going to allocate money for killing puppies and kittens! I love puppies and kittens!" So the bill gets voted down, where it can be retooled to remove the killing puppies and kittens earmark and then voted on again.

But the message can be twisted by media. Ignore the killing puppies and kittens part. The people who voted against this bill MUST be against fairies, fairy dust, smiles and laughter. This can also be used by their future political opponents.

"Marty Nozz voted against smiles and laughter. He's already well documented on his stance of hugs and pie. Is this the type of man you want representing you in Congress? Of course not. Vote Deffie McDouchebag."

Welcome to politics.

MUSIC!!

Is the accordion the new banjo? Only time will tell. Thanks, Kat!



Alright, I'll see you guy on Wednesday. After that I'm going to be gone for a week due to the Thanksgiving holiday. I'm heading up to the mountain to spend time with the old man, and probably get some training in. There's not much by way of internet up there so you're just going to have to deal with my absence as best you can.

Try to hold back the tears.

I am the (k)night!

Its Friday, November 22, 2010, welcome to the Foxtrot, this is The Side.

Last time I told of my new project of telling people who ask for my name for orders in fast food joints and the like that I finally just identified myself as "Bruce Wayne". Yesterday, while grabbing bite at the place I did that, a girl looked at me while I was waiting for my food.

"Hey! Its Bruce Wayne! S'up?"

"The usual. Fighting crime. How are you?"

This could possibly become a thing.

COMIX!!

BATMAN: THE RETURN tops my reads this week, despite that Bruce Wayne kinda returned already. I'm sure this is to make sure we know he's returned. This book isn't about his return, which he did last week, or the week before that, or possibly during those "The Road Home" books which came out before his return but weren't really about his return, so didn't really have anything to do with a road or going home.

And now we all know why I ignore fluff books when possible.

What this book is is a bridge between where Batman has been and where Batman is going. He's not dwelling on things, he's moving forward. There's something new and nasty on the horizon, and he's building Batman Inc. to be ready to take this thing on, and anything else dumb enough to try something in a city he protecting. The story itself is alright. We get a nifty bit about the bat who inspired Bruce. We also see that Bruce and Damien are not a very good team. We also see Batman doing what Batman does best: being awesome and making it look easy. The book is a bit pricey, and that's mainly due to the fancy cover and the bonus material of script stuff and costume designs. Nothing really shocking in their but it was interesting to me to see some of Morrison's scripts. It always interests me to see these from a writer's standpoint.

Over in SUPERGIRL #58 the story shifts from big wacky space action to something quite a bit darker. There's been a bit of a side story concerning Cat Grant that finally comes to the forefront. She want's Supergirl's help, because I guess Superman is still off walking around. This brings up the less than amicable relationship between Cat and Kara and they have it out, which isn't the most action packed thing, but its been brewing for so long its about time it happened. As for Cat's problem, its pretty nasty and creepy. A villain has targeted her, and we finally get to see who in a pretty disturbing scene.

In other news Zatanna, Zatara, and Superboy all face a laundry crisis. ZATANNA #7 had the fishnet clad sorceress taking on the animated clothing of deceased magicians in LA which threatened the entire city and few innocent lives. Over in TINY TITANS #34 we have a bit of fun with the fact that Art Baltazar draws Superboy and Zatara pretty similar. It seems the clothes do make the man, or at least can fool their friends.

Finally this week we have HELLBOY: DOUBLE FEATURE OF EVIL which I'm supposed to embargo my review of, not because of any kind of deal with Dark Horse, but because Mike Federali reads my reviews and can't get his issue until next week and doesn't want me to spoil anything for him. So here comes the spoilers, because I'm a prick. In the "Double Feature of Evil" there's a double feature that's... wait for it... EVIL!! Two short Hellboy stories, one comic, fun times. Its Mike Mignola and Richard Corben having some fun and having us along for the ride.

MOVIES!!

Lis Fies tipped me off about this one and its got me intrigued. Check it out.



If you made a list of things I didn't expect to be adapted into a major motion picture this story would have to be one of them. But its pretty cool. I think the director is responsible for directing a couple of those TWILIGHT movies which has people who care about TWILIGHT wound up a bit. I don't care about TWILIGHT, but I do care about comic FABLES, which tells about fairy tale characters exiled to our would.

The story of Little Red Riding Hood is a classic. Beneath the surface of this kiddie story lurks some fun themes to play with. Imagining the Big Bad Wolf as a werewolf is fine and dandy. There's an appropriate air of menace around this. I always thought it was weird that Red Riding Hood met the wolf in the woods and had a conversation about the contents of the basket and off she went. If the wolf didn't look like a wolf it would make much more sense. There's also werewolf lore that the person who is a werewolf tears their skin off to reveal the wolf, and tears the wolf skin off to reveal their human side. In many versions of the story the woodsman who comes to the rescue chops open the wolf and grandmother comes out. This could be an interesting twist to things.

So, I've got my eye on this.

Another thing I've got my eye on is obviously the GREEN LANTERN movie coming next year.



I'm not a fan of Hal Jordan, but I am a fan of Ryan Reynolds. I don't really like Jordan because I can't relate to him. A fearless, womanizing jet jockey? No thanks. I'll take Kyle Rayner any day. However, looking at Reynolds approach to the character, I'm now on board. A guy gets a ring that can make anything he imagines and now he can fly and go to other planets, and he's pretty amped about it. I sure would be. And he's not fearless. That's the smartest thing they could have done with the character. Bravery is not the absence of fear. Its overcoming fear.

This will of course be a CGI-fest, and I typically hate those, but really there's no way around using it considering the material. So, I'm cool with it. This looks like a really fun sci-fi flick and that's what I'm looking for. Forget the Nolan grim and gritty "realism" schitck for comic book movies. Let's enjoy the ride.

MUSIC!!

There's a time for stomping through existence like a madman and there's a time to stop for a moment and appreciate something of value. Park it a moment. Enjoy.



Alrighty, that's a wrap. See y'all Sunday.

Television FAIL!

Ring the bell. Its Wednesday, November 17, 2010, class is in session, and this is The Side.

I've started a new little project. It seems that I keep getting asked for my name whenever I order something from fast food places. Happened at Chik-Fil-A just the other day. So I did what comes naturally.

"Can I get a name to put with the order."

"Yes, I'm Bruce Wayne."

Made things fun when the order was ready and they called Bruce Wayne to the counter. I'm not sure whether to stick with it, or have the whole Justice League make the rotation.

SCHOOL'D!!

School is an interesting thing. We spend our time in high school wishing it was over. Then we think back on it fondly. They say college is the best years of your life, but it doesn't seem like it when its three in the morning you're neck deep in assignments and you have class at eight in the morning. Then you spend the rest of your life remembering how amazing the whole thing was and proud of getting that degree.

But there's a price to be paid for this, and its more than just hard work. That price has gone up in England, and there are quite a few people none too happy about it. The cost of tuition has finally risen there, which led to protests and ultimately a riot. See, they feel they have a right to education. Well they do have a right to education, but do they have a right to a higher education? Not here they don't. College or University is a privilege. Not everybody gets to go. They either can't afford it or they don't have the grades. There's absolutely nothing wrong with not going to college. Its not for everyone. Plenty of people go out and learn a trade and work. So I don't have sympathy for a lot of those students. I'm sure there those who are working hard to pay their own way and are trying to get a degree, and to those students, I say good luck. Keep working hard, because that will pay off for you.

For those who are upset because their precious entitlement has been threatened and mommy and daddy might make you get a job to help pay for things so you decided to be an ass and cause property damage with your public fit: piss off.

The education hub-bub isn't just across the pond. There's a stink brewing here with schools doing away with "F"s. This is of course being done to try to make sure kids graduate, and is completely stupid. Education requires pressure. I teach Karate. I impart knowledge, and then I test that knowledge under pressure. That's what happened in schools, minus the bruising, usually. The thinking is that failing a student kills their motivation, their drive to learn.

This is flawed.

In the entire time I've trained kids I've only failed one student. They don't test until they are fully prepared for what I'm going to unleash on them. The student in question knew his stuff, but his performance was sorely lacking. Lacking to the point that I couldn't promote him. I told him he could try again in two weeks and I told exactly why he didn't pass.

In two weeks he was an entirely different student. He was already a good student, but getting flunked drove him to be better. He went on to become a very good martial artist and a fine black belt.

You see, the hard work isn't done in the dojo or classroom. Its done outside of there. Education isn't a right, but it is a responsibility. You can't teach a kid who doesn't want to learn. Somewhere that kid has to discover that learning is important. If they don't, they won't excel. Taking away the option of failing a student makes teachers pass students on before they are ready. According to the article they get an 'incomplete' and can do the work later. It takes the pressure off, so the poor, widdle student can do better.

Bullshit. All it does is making skating through school with minimal effort that much easier. I've recently considered getting my teaching certification and teaching more than just martial arts. Now I wonder if someone like me would be able to teach with the way the education system is going.

TV!!

Upon recently telling some dudes that I don't have cable they replied with an "Ooooh". The kind of "Ooooh" that's usually reserved for someone who has some unfortunate disease. Fortunately for all my lack of cable is not contagious.

So I can't see these shows that that people keep raving about. I've never seen MAD MEN, DEXTER, or THE SHIELD. I can't watch that new THE WALKING DEAD show as much as I'd love to compare it to the comic on here for a review. However, this is no huge loss to me. I grew up without cable. They didn't run cable to my neighborhood until the early 90s, and I was away at college where I did have a watered down version of cable in my dorm room. So I did indeed grow up without MTV, Nickelodeon, or HBO. We had six channels and that included PBS. It was what it was, and when there was nothing on TV, we just dealt with it.

So, after having cable for a few years I'm back to not having cable, which was all dandy until the digital conversion earlier this year. My TV is old and needed a converter box, which costs money, but fine. The problem with that converter box is that it comes with a rather small remote which works half the time and is easily lost, and if it is lost you better really like what channel the TV is on. And I've rambled at length as to why digital sucks compared to analog signal, and its not going to add anything here to rehash that.

What is weird is that TV will now spontaneously grow new channels making TV occasionally an adventure. OK, I know have 3 different PBS stations. One of them is entirely children's programming which is awesome until they ambush us with an episode of Barney. Beyond our local Fox affiliate are stations that are interesting and dangerous. There's a whole kid's station with cartoons, and ION which shows movies and stuff that I sometimes what to check out. They were reshowing old episodes of QUANTUM LEAP for a while. But exploring those stations is a risky proposition because 90% of the time if I go to those stations I get hit with my TV going gray and the remote locking up. I have no idea why this happens.

TV has also spawned 5 christian stations, one of them in Spanish, and all of which I have ignored. Yes, I am a Christian, but Christian TV stations are boring.

The latest thing is that TV has randomly grown music video stations. They just show music videos with a few commercials here and there. One is a country station, meaning they play videos of bands that are pop bands with cowboy hats and steel guitars. The other plays all sorts of stuff. No on air people at all at the moment, and I have no clue with there's any sort of method to the madness or if they're just playing whatever the hell they want like their library was set to random.

So, I'm now optimistic about TV. I'm hoping that somehow a channel will magically grow and it'll show just awesome stuffs. But for now I wait patiently exploring the adventure of TV.

MUSIC!!

One of the new channels that my TV has recently randomly grown brought this to me.



Alright, that's it with the beginning of the whiskey tango foxtrot portion of the week. See you on the foxtrot.

The Pearls, The Bell, and The Gun

It's Sunday, November 14, 2010, and this is The Side. This post started out pretty simple and then I read a comic.

There are times where writers through fiction validate you. I've theorized about a lot of stuff involving storylines. I've made a lot of insane predictions, and some of them actually panned out. A lot of them were off the mark but sounded good at the time.

This weekend I got a lot of my thoughts about the superhero genre validated. So, I'm feeling pretty darned spiffy.

COMIX!!

What makes us human?

Is it straight up biology that can be learned about through study. Is it creation by God, or or whatever creation story your religion subscribes to, being made into a human. Science or myth? Or both?

The three dimensions of the superhero genre are science fiction, mythology, and humanity. In BATMAN THE RETURN OF BRUCE WAYNE #6, Bruce Wayne has been hunted through time by the curse of the Space God of Evil. Time, mythology, and weirdo science all of which that has been wrapped up in the Omega Sanction and turned loose upon Batman to turn him into a weapon to destroy the world. Two of the three dimensions converging maliciously upon the representation of the third.

Boy, did they screw with the wrong guy.

It all comes together here. Bruce Wayne's plan against something bigger than anything he's every faced. Darkseid tried to use Bruce as a template for an army of weapons in FINAL CRISIS. When that failed he tried to use the man's own history to destroy him. Batman's own memories were taken from him which I thought was part of the trap, but was really the key to eluding his pursuer through time The Hyper-Adapter which meant to use Bruce to reincarnate Darkseid. The game of cat and mouse went from the dawn of man to the end of time, but the chase ends here. A weaponized Batman returns to the present and the world is at stake.

So how can one man, even Batman, survive and attack by science fiction which creates mythology at every turn? Batman struck down Darkseid, but that has brought upon him a hell that seemed inescapable. Batman faces the Darkseid's most dangerous weapon, the Anti-Life. Resisting it was described in FINAL CRISIS as "trying to beat back an ocean". If he submitted that was it, time was going to come undone, and Darkseid would return bringing with him a Fifth World created in his image. How can a human, or humanity stop this?

What makes us human?

We flash back to Frank Miller's BATMAN:YEAR ONE. There is Bruce Wayne staring at the bat that inspired him. But we know what that bat really is now. We now see this turning point in Bruce Wayne's life as the crossroads it really was. He didn't give into the darkness. He used it as inspiration, and then made the most important decision of his life:

He asked for help, from someone he loved.

THAT is what makes us human. Our relationships. Love. Family. That was how Barry Allen freed Iris from Anti-Life in FINAL CRISIS. This is how Bruce Wayne triumphs here. It's not from being something inhuman. Its not from being "The Goddamned Batman". Its by being a man who during his life has accumulated an incredible group of family and friends around him, and his willingness to protect them, and through that their willingness to trust and help him.

Humanity faced ultimate evil, and kicked its ass.

Now we have a Batman that is a truly balanced character. He's accepted himself and the truth of his life. We've seen storyline after storyline about him pushing his family and friends away. It never lasts. It can't last. Morrison has completed his epic examination of the humanity in the genre. "The Once and Future Batman" is now complete. I wondered why this issue was released after BATMAN AND ROBIN #16 since the events of that comic take place after the events of this one. Now I know. A lot of things that had been going on in this story over the last few years have been explained recently, but this was the issue that showed us the point to it all.

Its a point well worth learning.

LAME-O!!

Paragon of class and wise beyond her years Megan Fox is in a bit of hot water for calling Wonder Woman "lame". Now you may be wondering to yourself how could Megan Fox, in her infinite wisdom, say such a thing about such an important character in the superhero genre. Was not recently that the village rejoiced over the mere notion that Fox would perhaps play Wonder Woman in a live action movie to make our little nerdling lives perfect and complete? Was it not the glorious Megan Fox who would finally solve the problem of there not being a live action Wonder Woman movie? How could she say such a thing?

Pretty damn easily actually. Face it kids, the only reason anyone was excited about the prospect of of Megan Fox playing Wonder Woman had absolutely nothing to do with her acting ability. It was all about a lot of guys think she looks hot, and Wonder Woman's outfit shows quite a bit of skin. She probably got as annoyed with rumors as I have, so, yay, I may have something in common with Megan Fox.

Its really not hard to say Wonder Woman is lame. DC has always had a problem keeping that book popular. Its like they don't know what do with her from an editorial standpoint. When Greg Rucka came onboard to write the comic years ago he was told that the only reason people would buy the comic is for the covers which were at the time done by Adam Hughes. This is pretty damn insulting and once the dust settled Hughes wasn't doing the covers anymore. Not terribly pleasant, but Rucka made WONDER WOMAN and really incredible comic. So everything was great until the book got canceled due to INFINITE CRISIS and continuity shake up. They relaunched the comic with an issue 1 and a new creative team and everything seemed alright. But the creative team quickly shifted and Jodi Piccoult was tapped as writer. She may write great novels, but she wrote a horrible Wonder Woman. After a couple years of being awful, Gail Simone got her hands on the book, and made it a lot of fun. There was so much to enjoy and be excited about. And then that got shifted off to the side for the JMS nonsense. So whenever things start looking great for our Amazon Princess, it just doesn't seem good enough and things get changed and turn sucky. I understand it to a degree. There was a big company wide shift around INFINITE CRISIS and a lot of books got canceled, launched, or re-launched and comic companies still like have #1 issues to try to lure in new readers. They brought in Piccoult because she's a very successful novelist. They brought in JMS because he has an excellent reputation as an excellent comic writer. So, really its no one's fault that these things, which seemed like good ideas at the time, didn't pan out.

But still there a lot that the character has to overcome from readers. A lot of readers write her off as a Superman knock off. Just there for eye candy. And yes, plenty have called her 'lame'. I've made a case repeatedly as to why the character is important, and really great. So, does Megan Fox deserve to be in a bit of hot water for stating her opinion, which is one that has been echoed by plenty of comic fans? Absolutely not. Would it be nice if she sat down and really read some of the comics and got a better informed opinion on the matter. Certainly.

MUSIC!!

That's it for today. I reserve the right to revisit this entire Batman thing, because frankly, we could start a book club and discuss this whole thing for a solid week. For now though, I think I've shoveled enough nerdom upon you. BEGONE!!

Straczynski's Swipey Thing

Its Friday, November 12, 2010, I'm ready to swipe something, and this is The Side. Recently, I helped change a bunch of glass in windows in another town. The client was a friend of friends we got the job done pretty quickly and everything looked great. However the client seems to be having trouble with his penmanship when it comes to writing the check to pay for replacing the glass.

This led to him showing up at my buddy's door asking his wife about a "swipey thing".

Now call me old fashioned, but I always thought it was bad form to show up unannounced at a fella's house and make inquiries to his wife about a swipey thing.

Seems the guy want to pay with a credit card as he's "moving and packed up his checkbook". Oh, well, that explains everything, because whenever I've moved, the checkbook was the first thing I shoved in a box. Shame on my buddy for not having a swipey thing.

SWIPEY COMIX!!

Seems someone swiped my copy of THE RETURN OF BRUCE WAYNE #6 before I could get to the shop this week, so my thoughts on that will have to wait until I can secure an issue. In the meantime...

KNIGHT AND SQUIRE #2 hit the shelves and was pleasantly weird and charming. BATGIRL #15 welcomed aboard Dustin Nguyen to the creative line up and is completely worth it for the three page history to the Bat-verse according to Steph. The rest of the issue is fun too. TINY TITANS/LITTLE ARCHIE AND HIS PALS #2 had all the fun and humor I've come to expect from Baltazar and Franco. When you have the bat-tusi and Josie and the Pussycats in the same comic its really hard to go wrong. Speaking of team-ups, HELLBOY/BEASTS OF BURDEN found its way into my bag and it was a lot of fun. Talking animals being cute and fighting supernatural stuff is a totally untapped market. I was previous unaware of these here Beasts of Burden, but I shall investigate further.

BIRDS OF PREY #6 wraps up the inaugural storyline for the relaunched title. There was seriously a Birds of Prey shaped hole in things after this book was swiped away from us poor nerds. Huntress takes on Shiva in a battle to the death. That alone is plenty. What I didn't expect was Shiva actually acting just a little bit like a human being here and there. Huntress doesn't get a whole lot of respect in the DCU, which I suspect has a bit to do with the outfit she's constantly drawn in, but she's center stage and being completely awesome in this book. Great stuff from Gail Simone, but great stuff from her business as usual.

R.E.B.E.L.S. #22 brings Starfire to center stage as her and a Psion Green Lantern get a hard look at what it means to be a female on the planet Psion. It was pretty harsh stuff as we see a culture in which the only reason they keep females around at all is for breeding purposes. Starfire is an excellent fit into this book which is all about the space characters of the DCU. I'm still burnt out quite a bit on Green Lanterns what with all the GL themed events recently that just served to annoy me, but Bedard has to use them. This book is about space heroes, and they are space heroes. It makes sense that they're there. The bokk continues to be incredibly solid and a great read.

SWIPEY BUH-BYE! sorta...

Previously I bailed completely from reading the comics SUPERMAN and WONDER WOMAN despite being a big fan of both characters because writer J Michael Straczynski took over both titles and made them both awful. The WW story was like a cliché of a cliché featuring super strong girl with no memories fighting an eeeeeeevil government agency hoping to get revenge for killing all of her people. I read one issue, vomited and promptly dropped the book, praying that this was all a dream and that somehow Gail Simone would magically return to save me. The Superman story fetured the big guy walking around looking for answers to life and yet somehow being condescending to everyone questioning his actions and seeming to have all the answers. It also featured Superman and current Batman, Dick Grayson, being utterly douchey to each other in what seemed to be a throwback to the first part of INFINITE CRISIS and showing that JMS seems to have no concept of what makes Dick Grayson tick, which seems to complete the trinity since he doesn't seem to know what it is that makes Superman and Wonder Woman awesome.



Then I rejoiced to learn that JMS was quitting both book early. I was gleeful last evening, blissful in thoughts that prayer does indeed work and then got down on my knees to get to work on the smiting of Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, and whoever it was at YouTube that put that James Cameron ad together which makes it a pain to watch the videos I want to watch. Makes the videos skip. I don't like it. Then I later learned that Chris Robinson and Phil Hester will be taking over the writing of SUPERMAN and WONDER WOMAN respectively, which is cool because I had forgotten that Phil Hester writes stuff. And finally, unfortunately, I learned that both writers would be working from Straczynski's notes. So, I suppose Bieber, Gaga, and the YouTube putz will continue to live, although they may all get boils.

JMS is going to go off to write a sequel to that EARTH ONE book I completely ignored, which is fine because the more projects like this he goes off to do the less he can infect the continuity of the characters I love with bad stories. So, it looks like I'll be staying away from SUPERMAN and WONDER WOMAN for a while yet, and hopefully the writers will be able to get out from under the JMS notes soon.

SWIPEY MUSIC!!

The Missus made a discovery! Guy and girl with pretty eyes and a Batman T-shirt make music! YOU LISTEN NOW!! And no you don't get to see her swipey thing.



Alright, its time to go do stuff. I need to go find my swipey thing so that I can get paid this week. Its like the world is trying to go all BATMAN BEYOND on me.

Holmes investigated Olbermann's anti-feminism.

Here we go again. It's Wednesday, November 10, 2010, my hair is a mess, and this is The Side. Welcome to you WTF portion of the week. Seriously, it says so on the calendar.

Being part of the downwardly mobile isn't as glamorous as I make it seem. My new found status as poor white trash prevented me from being part of a big Karate event over the weekend. This involved serious training with very high level martial artists on the beach in wind gushing up to 40 MPH which dropped the wind chill factor to a balmy 23 degrees. This made the part where everyone jumped into the ocean quite pleasant, until of course they all had to come out of the water. There were punches, kicks, yelling, kata, sandy uniforms, and plenty of mild hypothermia to go around. With all this my Karate brothers all told me after it was all over how much they wished I could have been there.

I suspect they wanted me there to drown me, but that's beside the point.

I wish I could have gone too, but that wasn't an option this time around. The experience sounds absolutely horrible and i would have to be completely insane for even thinking about it, but still I wish I could have gone. On the bright side, my cousin Scott got promoted to 6th dan and my buddy Bill received the title of Renshi. Both of these are really big deals, and I'm proud of them, and I'm proud that I helped a little along their budo journeys where I could.

So maybe next time. Which means I better start preparing now just in case. Be right back after I do some push-ups.

CHARACTER STUDY!!

What are the first three literary characters that come to mind?

That was the question I asked across the bits of social media that I bounce around on. The answers were varied and interesting. One character that got mentioned quite a bit was Batman. Batman was not the only comic book character mentioned, but he was the one that was mentioned the most. This is interesting because it makes us consider comic books as literature. The stories abide by similar rules to those of prose. I guess you could argue that comics are just excessively illustrated prose. Batman has been featured in many different mediums, and that is something that he shares with the two characters that had the most mentions.

Harry Potter and Sherlock Holmes took the top spots. I'm pretty stoked that Holmes made it since I've been on a big Sherlock Holmes kick lately. I'm working my way through the complete Holmes stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, and am currently re-reading "The Red-Headed League". I also really dug the BBC's SHERLOCK series, which featured the greatest Moriarty ever. As for Harry Potter, I know next to nothing about him. Never read any of the books or scene any of the movies.

All three of these characters have been featured prominently in media. All three have had a major motion picture in theaters in the last couple years. All three have movies in the works. Batman and Potter both have successfully franchised into the video game market. Holmes and Batman both have been re-imagined in different times and settings. Harry Potter hasn't had a TV show yet. I think its safe to say that Holmes and Batman have and will survive the test of time. Its too soon to tell for Potter.

That's now a cue for all the die hard Harry Potter fans to mob me with comments about how the stories will live on and on forever and ever. Yes, they are insanely popular now. Yes its true that I'm not a fan. That doesn't mean that I don't realize the characters significance to pop culture nor the fact that he has millions and millions of fans. I can say that the other two currently over shadow him.

When someone thinks of a superhero, Batman tends to spring to mind.

When someone thinks of a detective, Sherlock Holmes tends to spring to mind.

When someone thinks of a wizard, Harry's still got serious competition. However, that may change with time.

It was interesting to see the results. The finding could easily be, and most likely would be, very different, if I asked the exact same people the same question again. Still, I'm pretty sure those three character would get their fair share of mentions.

POP POLITICS!!

And the news has become the news. Keith Olbermann, host of Countdown on MSNBC, was suspended for making contribution to candidates in the recent elections. The indefinite suspension was pretty much a long weekend. MSNBC was all up in arms about how could Olbermann do such a thing, and professional journalists shouldn't do such things! After all, they aren't Fox News. MSNBC has rules!

Cue the laughter from anyone who has watched MSNBC.



It is no surprise to anyone that the suspension was lifted so quickly. I was even more surprised that there was any sort of rules against campaign contributions to begin with. Its Olbermann's money. He should be able to donate to whomever he wishes. Its not like he wasn't going to go out touting the Democrat/Liberal in whatever race. Its MSNBC, they lean left. Just like Fox News leans right. Its no shock to anyone. Well, maybe its a shock to some people who live under a rock.

Olbermann is paid money to give his opinion. Great job, wish I had it. So his boss got pissed because he made financial contributions to candidates? I doubt any of the viewers were shocked at all. But they did have a rule against it. Which will probably go away because its inconvenient to enforce it. It was a dumb rule anyways. The only thing that rule did was set them apart form Fox News in their own little weird heads. It gave them some odd feel of superiority, like they were real reporters or something. Fortunately, that's all been cleared up and now viewers know.

They're all the same.

GET YOUR BISCUITS IN THE OVEN AND YOUR BUNS IN THE BED!!

The "Anti-Feminists" are meeting in Switzerland and are meeting in a secret location. Obviously this is to plot how to destroy the woman's movement and put them in their proper place which is in the kitchen making me sammiches. That's right, it all started with them wanting to vote and it all went straight to hell from there!

I'm sure that's what the protesters think this meeting is about.

The reason its being moved to secret location is they don't want to deal with the protesters. Also, surprise, this isn't a meeting against women. Gender relations are totally messed up in many areas. You go to Middle Eastern cultures and in many places women have no rights whatsoever. Hell, you go to the right place and if a woman says something wrong they throw rocks at her until she is dead. Or you could go to China were records of a marriage of a beautiful popular woman are being scrubbed from public record because her husband is the next president and she can't be seen more favorably. Her role will be to be quiet and smiles nicely at meetings with officials on the occasions that families are invited.

Then you come over to good old western civilization. Over here if there's any kind of domestic dispute, the man is to leave the house. The woman can be going absolutely bonkers and even assault him, and if the cops show up, typically the guy is made to leave. If there's a divorce children are typically sent to live with their mother.

Equality doesn't exist. The feminist movement did a lot for women, and that's awesome, but we've got a problem when the focus shifts from lifting up women to putting down men. Its not just gender either. Affirmative Action was great, but has now outlived its usefulness. There was a time for it and that time may very well be past.

We've been told that gender doesn't matter. We've been told that skin color doesn't matter. So its time to walk the walk. If the qualifications of person make them the best candidate for something, be it a job or custodian of children or whatever, they should get it even if they're a white guy. That said, everyone should have the same opportunities offered to them. That's what the Switzerland meeting is about. Who knows? maybe this will be the start of progress towards true equality of rights and opportunities for everyone!

And in this magic fairy tale land, I want a flying horsey.

MUSIC!!

Great song, good album, bet you forgot is existed.



Yep. While you were reading all that and enjoying the music, I was busy cranking out some crunches. I'd post a picture of my studliness, but it may be too much for the internet to handle. See y'all Friday.

Honor Jackson doesn't approve.

It's Sunday, November 7, 2010, I kan't speel, and this is The Side. I've attempted to put together some information about literary characters. I've begun taking a bit of an informal poll about them and have come up with some interesting results. However, despite being present on a few social media outlet, I've not gotten as much information as I'd like, but will still go on to post up my findings on Wednesday one way or another.

Lot of birthday's this time of year. My niece's birthday is today and she's 7 now. Delightful young lady. Her party last night consisted of all of us parking our cars sideways in the front yard while my brother set it up so that a movie was going to be projected on a big sheet strung up from a tree and a step ladder. There was a little ticket table and concession stand too. So we all popped our tailgates, grabbed some blankets and watched THE HANNAH MONTANA MOVIE, which is now totally my favorite movie EVER!!

In other news, reading back through previous posts I have discovered that I am indeed a semi-literate e-troglodyte and a total spell check invalid. Maybe I should wait until I've actually had some coffee before typing this stuff. So, to my glorious readers, I apologize and will try harder to actually make this stuff readable.

But enough of this stuff. Its time to talk about Batman. Again.

COMIX!!

Events in the Batman corner of the DCU are moving forward, which is cool. Grant Morrison is working his way through his "The Once and Future Batman" with his return of Bruce Wayne to the role, and we'll be seeing him going around the world creating a "Round Table" of Batmen in the upcoming BATMAN INC title. Its been obvious that Morrison has been driving things with the character for a while now, and other have for the most part been pretty well on board. There's been some things that fit nicely with the narrative (WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE CAPED CRUSADER?), some needless but harmless fluff (BATTLE FOR THE COWL), and some pretty goofy hiccups from those who didn't seem to be paying attention but wanted to play too(BLACKEST NIGHT). All said and done the character has made very cool and thoughtful progression in the last few year.

However, that's not sitting quite right with some people. They want the dark, angry, fractured psyche Batman. The thing with an iconic character like this is that there's room for different interpretations of him. This is how you can have cartoons like THE BRAVE AND BOLD and also have a depressing marathon of pseudo-terrorist porn like THE DARK KNIGHT. Everyone's happy. In comics though we do have continuity. We have editors who, supposedly, are to keep track of this stuff and keep things something resembling consistent. So if a hero has a major change in costume or powers or attitude that happens in their core book, if that character appears elsewhere in another book that change is to be reflected, or a not can appear "This story takes place before the events of...." Which smart because you might make a reader curious as to what exactly happened in that story and the reader could buy another book. So continuity in comics is pretty important. Just ask any hardcore fanboy. They'll argue continuity for days.

So we have Batman as a character moving in one direction. Its a definite thing that obvious to all that have been keeping up and not writing reviews for GAME INFORMER. But now we have a new comic coming out featuring Bruce Wayne as Batman, and the writer makes this statement in an interview.

I've read a lot online about how people think that, ever since Dark Knight Returns, Batman has been to dark and gritty. But I don't agree. That's what made me love Batman. I think a Batman that is too fun and happy and has a little sidekick dog and all those types of things doesn't speak to me at all. This is the character that speaks to me: The dark, angry, vengeful, almost hateful character. That's what I love. And that's what I'm doing. I want to push that as far as editorial will let me push it.

OK, fine, BUT writers have spent the last few years moving Bruce Wayne AWAY from being that guy. We had our fill of Batdouche. It started with INFINITE CRISIS, and I've had a lot of brutal criticism of Geoff Johns, but in this story he started Batman on the road away from being a complete prick. He reached out his hand and trusted Hal Jordan, despite his history with him. He didn't kill Alex Luthor despite Luthor nearly killing Dick Grayson. From there we moved onto 52, which has Batman along with Grayson and Tim drake traveling the world and finally had Bruce chilling in a cave for a month for meditative purposes and to get his head back on straight. Then there was his return to Gotham and we saw him handled by Grant Morrison and Paul Dini on writing duties. Dini had Batman handling a bunch of fun interesting cases which invoked fond memories of his old 90s animated series. Morrison began his epic which had Batman facing ultimate evil.

Batman has not beaten ultimate evil because he was HaRdCoRe or more badass than the devil. It was, ironically, because he killed a man, sorta. A bum told him that he had a nice face. Batman had a couple hundred buck in the glovebox of the Batmobile. Seemed like a harmless little moment. What he didn't know is that the bum in question would use that money to buy drugs that would cause him to overdose. That bum's spirit in his final act before moving on, would aid Bruce Wayne after Doctor Hurt left him drugged and out of his mind. An act of kindness turned the tide.

Now we have a Bruce Wayne who is still a driven and formidable character, but also values his family and friends. He's kind to people who deserve it. He's kind to people who may or may not deserve it, but being kind would be more useful than scaring the crap out of them. We now have a well balanced and full on awesome character, not a charactiture.

But, there are still those who want to seem him in that nearly insane light. These are the people, and I used to be one when I was young, who thought that Batman was only one step away from being The Joker. They tout the "one bad day" theory from Alan Moore's "THE KILLING JOKE" despite the fact that the work is a repudiation of that theory. So despite the fact that everything I just laid out has been going on for the last five years and everyone's been on board with it one guy want to go the exact opposite direction, like a trout trying to get up stream.

I'll probably buy the first issue for review purposes, but its not something I'm looking forward to. I need Batdouche back like I need a hole in the head.

MUSIC!!

Hey, speaking of holes in the head...



Alrighty, hopefully you folks remembered to fall back with the whole Daylight Savings time thingie and won't be late for church. Because after reading the stuff I write y'all probably need some chuchin'! See, y'all Wednesday.

The Joker, The Preacher, and my Stepmom.

It's Friday, November 4, 2010, yesterday was my stepmother's birthday, and this is The Side. I, of course, am a horrible stepson because I thought her birthday was today, and when I realized that it was about ten of the clock at night and a bit too late to call. Shame upon me.

Bonnie Nozz married my father years ago, and was a welcome addition to the family. I seriously have the best stepmother ever. She's always got the best desserts around stashed in the refrigerator. Her favorite comics are HITMAN and PLANETARY. She'll even watch the horrendously violent movies me and my dad love. The pair of them made me stop SNATCH when I was watching it at their place on DVD, not because of the horrible language and violence, but because they wanted popcorn and didn't want to miss anything.

At the same time, she's a kind and caring woman, devout in her faith, and an utter joy to be around. A lot of people were very disappointed when her and my father moved to West Virginia from here, because even though she only lived here for a few years she was a part of the family and community.

I also think its insanely funny when she occasionally curses.

I love you, Bonnie!

COMIX!!

I hate being wrong. At the end of the last issue I was willing to bet money that it was Alfred impersonating Bruce Wayne as Batman at the end of the issue. There had been such a theme of theatricality and roll playing throughout this storyline, and by storyline I mean all the way back to BATMAN AND SON, that it made perfect sense. So when it turned out to actually be Bruce Wayne in BATMAN AND ROBIN #16 I was somewhat disappointed. I'm also disappointed that this issue comes out before THE RETURN OF BRUCE WAYNE #6. The whole shipping schedule debacle just has fail written all over it. All that aside, this issue was fabulous. The father of house was returned to see his children doing the best they possibly can in a bad situation. We get the pieces concerning any lingering questions about Doctor Hurt filled in. We have a fitting bit with Bruce, Dick, and Damien battling the forces of Hurt. Hurt wants to play the Devil, and looking at numerological biblical representations the number for the devil is two. So was needed a three, a trinity, to come into play. Making it interesting that we have the father (Bruce), the son (Damien), and the spirit (Dick). And while Bruce is back and handing out the beatings like a force of nature this is still the (As Richard put it) "Decent Bloke" Batman. He's looking out for his family, and in the middle of the siege with the city still on the line he turns to his youngest son.

"You made the right choices. I'm proud of you."

And then there's the Joker. Cue Frazer Irving's art for a scene that's absolutely brilliant one so many levels. The Devil (hurt) leaves his Heaven (the Batcave) and immediately falls. And of course the casket is marked with a six, the trinity in opposition. Outstanding.

Also this week we had SERENITY: THE SHEPHERD'S TALE, which I'm sure had many a Browncoat squealing with joy. The TV show FIREFLY got unceremoniously canceled before it really got a chance by the network that just didn't understand what they were seeing. The show received new life thanks to the internet and word of mouth. The DVD sales were incredible. The canceled show spawned a feature film. Through it all many fans, myself included have had a burning question that was never answered: "What is up with Shepherd Book?"

Book was an enigmatic preacher and missionary who in addition to being a devout man also was a skilled marksman, tough fighter, and had connection and knowledge of things most preachers wouldn't. He obviously had a dark past, but we only got the barest hints at it. We see the man he had become, kind, true, and clever. But how did he get there. We've seen the man's end in the movie SERENITY, and now, finally, we see is beginning.

The book is based on an outline of the characters life who the show's creator Joss Whedon and is written by his brother Zack Whedon. I was a little meh about that when I saw it since I was hoping that Joss himself had penned it. Zack Whedon has done his finest work in comics to date. He completely blew me away. This book is thoughtful and at points completely beautiful. Adding to Zack Whedon's stellar script is Chris Samnee completely and utterly knocking it right out of the park on this project. The story pulls a bit of a MOMENTO sarting at the end and bouncing backwards years at a time to show important parts of Book's life. Samnee (who I can't call Chris for fear he might hypothetically punch me in the face again)absolutely nails it in depicting Book younger and younger and younger.

Whether you're a hardcore Browncoat, or just somebody looking for a cool read, buy this book.

MUSIC!!

My stepmother loves Elvis, and I love my stepmother, so here we go.



Alright, people. I think you've had enough internets for today. Off with you, and we'll see y'all on Sunday.

Rage against the machine!

It's Wednesday, November 3, 2010, I feel like lighting something on fire, and this is The Side. Why do I feel like lighting something on fire you ask? Am I angry? No more than usual. Nope, I'm chilly. Fall has fallen fast, and when the weather gets cold I like to burn stuff. Usually its leaves and branches which my yard has plenty off. Still I do growing up when we had some decent acreage and plenty of fuel for the fires. We had so much stuff once that it took three days of continuous burning to reduce it all to pile of ash.

Fire is good. It makes hot dogs and marshmallows better. I know people say "Fire bad". I've in the past said so myself. But then my eyebrows grew back and me and fire were OK again.

POP POLITICS!!!

Warren Ellis once referred to politicians in his comic TRANSMETROPOLITAN as "vote crazed dogfuckers" and it seems that this comics vision of the future was looking that this year. Yes, the 2010 Congressional Basho has come to an end. This time around we've had a nearly official witch hunt, a Democrat blasting a copy of the Cap and Trade bill with a shotgun, and a mailer that was scratch and sniff that smelled like trash.



Yes, he is a Democrat. I can only imagine the backlash the media would have if it was a Republican doing that. Sure enough the guy won. This race has been all about Democrats not doing things you typically think of when you think Democrat. They've been lining up touting how much they don't vote along with Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi. They try to show themselves as against our Pop Star-in-Chief's agenda. This is hysterical. Many Democrats were trying to sound as conservative as possible to try to keep their jobs. Even locally the two candidate running for Congress in my district were engaged in a battle of which one has more to do with Obama than the other. Sure enough the Republican won, which is good because the guy runs a business and knows you can't spend money that you don't have.

Republicans took control of the House of Representatives last night and mad a pretty decent gain in the Senate. There was no celebration to it because they know they got control for a reason. America is in trouble and they were sent there to try to help the situation. There's already been rumblings that they one because because of Racism against Obama, which is typical because stupid people think Conservatives are Racist. Its also been said that they won because people are angry.

And one this point they are correct.



Anger is healthy reaction to unacceptable circumstances. We do not live in a Democracy. We live in a Representative Republic. It's true, this is the internet, look it up if you don't believe me. What this mean is that we are supposed to be send to Washington people to represent us and to make sure things are done that the population can't handle themselves, like defending our country, securing our borders, and dealing with other countries. So yes, when a bunch of people who are supposedly representing us do things that are against the will of the people the folk represented are right to be pissed off. When the checks and balances system breaks down because the Executive and Legislative Branches of Government are both run by the same political party people are right to be pissed off.

And the pissed off people did the healthy thing. They didn't take to the street and riot. They didn't set Washington on fire. No one got shot. It was tempting, but no. They looked hard at what was going on. They got educated about who the candidates were. Then they voted. That's how its supposed to work. If they aren't going to do the job serving the public they won't have the job anymore. And it'll happen again if the people in office now don't stick to their word and do the job.

MUSIC!!

It came from the 90s...



That's the ballgame for today. Time to go destroy so stuff at my hammer ready job that the government didn't provide.