Spread the weird.

Sometimes you have to lie. It's just funnier that way.

Yesterday for instance, I had an accident at work that involved my head having a sudden meeting with the business end of a pry bar. Well, we're working on a beach house and we've got to get this thing sorted so we keep on working. I know I'm bleeding like a stuck pig because whenever you cut your head like I did it bleeds profusely. If you want proof, look at a Ric Flair pro-rasslin' match.

Well, we finish and it's been probably an hour. I feel my eyelid is sticky whenever I blink so I know I look horrible. So, we call it a day and go back to where i parked my car at Home Depot. i retrieve my first-aid kit and some Aleve and walk right through the store to the bathroom. No one bats an eye because I've got the hood of my jacket up and my hair has grown out a bit, so it concealed things.

I'm getting cleaned up, debating to myself whether or not to see about getting stitches. It's about an inch long and is likely going to be a new permanent beauty mark. It's also starting to hurt like hell since I was finally beginning to warm up. Mighty cold working down at the beach yesterday.

A Home Depot employee walks in to use the john. He finishes up and is washing his hands.

Him: "How you doin' today, sir?"

Me: "I'm good. How about yourself."

At this point he sees the gash in my forehead. I had already cleaned all the blood off my face.

Him: "Holy crap, what happened to you?"

Me: "Well, in there tough economic times, I guess that guy thought it was a good idea to try to take my wallet."

Him: "Someone stole your wallet?"

Me: "Nope. Turns out it wasn't such a good idea after all, and I don't care if they do find his teeth."

So, why would I fib like that? Embarrassment over what actually happened? To make myself look like a tough guy? Nah. It's because I know full well that guy is gonna tell his buddies about it and it makes for a much better story. He'll get some surprised looks,and probably a few good laughs. It's more fun that way.

And hell, if folks can have fun over my getting permanently scarred, then really, what can you have fun with nowadays?