"Only a ninja can stop a Ninja"

Howdy.  Its Wednesday, April 4, 2012, I'm tired, and this is The Side.  Lots of stuff is going on and the days are kinda weird here, so here's a little ranty for you.


I really don't like ninjas very much.  I have to wonder if I'm wrong in this sometimes, since everyone else seems to like ninjas.  There is the chance that I am right in my disdain of them and everyone else is wrong.  So, of course I'm going with that.

Going up in a martial arts household, ninjas were something we learned about.  The house was stocked with martial arts reference books, and there were a few about Ninjas.  Most of them bullshit, but there were a few reliable ones scattered among the fluff.  Ninja were spies back in Japan.  Most of them were women who would use their feminine wiles to get information or, in the case of having an assassination assignment, get the target to drop their guard.  They often disguised themselves so the black outfit many of us know from the movies is pretty much just for the movies.  They did use weapons, traps, and poisons, but weren't really that great when it comes to fighting.

Nowadays, everyone's a ninja.  Do something sneaky or clever?  You're a ninja.  Can perform an acrobatic feat?  You're a ninja.  Actually have some fighting skill and/or training?  You're a ninja.  Can eat a pack of 20 Chicken McNuggets by yourself with horking them all up later?  You're a freaking ninja.

I saw a bunch of ninja flicks back in the day.  REVENGE OF THE NINJA, NINJA 3: THE DOMINATION (which isn't nearly as dirty as it sounds), and the AMERICAN NINJA series.  Pretty much a ton of chop socky BS which kids ate up.  Then the TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES hit big with the kiddie cartoon show, with most of them using Okinawan Kobudo weaponry, and using it the wrong way in most cases.  There was the NINJA GAIDEN video game series.  Ninjas everywhere.  Thanks a heap, Sho Kosugi.

Fast forward and we have the NARUTO comic from Japan which became an animated series and the youngster here ate up.  In this series being a ninja means you have some sort of superpower and you're aspiring to be a great warrior.  I have to give this series some begrudging props for not caring at all what ninjas actually were and did and just inserting the name into an intricate continuity to make big sales.

Now there's the game "ninja" which involves goofy looking poses and hand slapping.  I hate this game with a fiery passion since a number of my karate students would rather play it than practice their kata and waza.

So I'm asking you people: don't be part of the herd.  There are no more ninja.  There's maybe a handful of legitimate ninjitsu practitioners, and they're most likely rolling their eyes at the how bag of goofiness.  If you see a parkour runner doing his thing, don't call him a ninja.  If someone does something sneaky or subtle, don't call them a ninja.  And most of all, if you see me don't KARATE, don't call me a freaking ninja.

The Chicken McNugget thing though, you can go on ahead.  That's hardcore.


There is only one true ninja: Christopher Walken.  Deal with it.

You know I'm right.  See y'all Friday.

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