"I'm going fast..." "Go faster."

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! It's Sunday, October 31, 2010, and my favorite holiday is here. It took a bit of time but I'm finally full on in the Halloween spirit. NBC showed a couple of new specials from Dreamworks featuring Shrek and the cast from MONSTERS VERSUS ALIENS. Both were pretty cool. After that I bounced over to PBS to enjoy AFTER YOU'RE GONE and KEEPING UP APPEARANCES, but that was just the interlude to me enjoying a Halloween TV fest. Last night was was the 35th anniversary of Doctor Madblood. The mad scientist from the edge of Pungo Swamp has been hosting cheesy horror movies and doing skits with his kooky cast all my life. Last night's showing was HAUNTED HOTEL with Christopher Lee. One could almost take the movie seriously if the Doc hadn't transported his buddies Count Lacudra and Renfield into the movie to wonder around. Fun with editing is still fun.

There was also a Pancake supper at the church I teach Karate at, which I attended because it was for a good cause and pancakes rule. I was hanging out with another of the karate guys who is now a bit too old for Trick-or-treating but noted that in his neighborhood a lot more houses have darkened their porches and a lot of the fun traditions his neighborhood had have gone away. This is in a lot of places. Part of it is the media trumping up a bit of fear about children safety. There's also the spreading of notion that Halloween is a "Satanic Holiday" which is complete and utter hogwash.

So tonight, be safe of course, but remember what this Holiday is really about: having fun.

SPOOKY TRADITION!

Every year on Halloween there's always one thing that I do. I break out the VHS, hook it up, and fire up Disney's THE LEGEND OF SLEEPY HALLOW. I've watched it every year on Halloween since I got the VHS tape. For you young'ins, VHS is what we used to watch movies on before DVDs. And yes I do remember Betamax. Despite owning this short film and having the ability to watch it whenever I want I only watch it once a year. And no that has nothing to do with me being too lazy to hook up the VHS player. Its the same reason that while I have A CHRISTMAS STORY on DVD I only watch it at Christmas. There's a time for these sorts of things, and to watch it at other times would make it a bit less special.

I love the Disney version. Bing Crosby narrates it and sing the songs. The animation is nice and crisp. The story is a classic of American Literature. For those who haven't read it, its not terribly long and you can find it here. I like that the story for the most part is set up. There's a tiny bit at the very beginning that that has a spooky touch when introducing the town, but that is quickly brushed past. It doesn't get spooky until the party and from there the stage is set.

I did find the cartoon scary when I was child and it seems I'm not the only one. Watching the video last Halloween, my daughters watched it too, with as much attention as a two year old can muster. After I had enjoyed the viewing and my one daughter was content to enjoy a cup of warm milk before bedtime, I had lost track of the other. I briefly searched the house only to find her in her bedroom behind a chair. She hides a lot. I went to retrieve her from her hiding spot to bring her out into the living room with her sister so she could also have her cup of warm milk.

"No!" She stated firmly wiggling from my grip.

"Nicole, come on out and have your cup. Its close to bedtime."

"No. Horsey. I scared."

So yes, I scared my kid something fierce with a cartoon I love to pieces. I should have known better since Nicole scares pretty easy. She fled crying after I dropped a couple of Mentos in a Diet Coke bottle. I'll be waiting until she's snug in her bed this year before I watch it. You never can tell though. maybe one day she'll have the same affection for Ichabod Crane and the Headless Horseman that I do.

SPOOKY MUSIC!!

Sure there's a video I have to watch every year on Halloween. There's a song I have to listen to too.



Thus ends our two week long Halloween romp. Whether or not Halloween will be scarier than next Tuesday remains to be seen. See y'all Wednesday!

"So you're saying... that's me lying there."

It's Friday, October 29, 2010, It finally got cold out, and this is The Side. Time for a bit of Nozz History.

Last time we talked about age limits on trick-or-treating and how that was the norm for me growing up. I only really lived in two areas when i was a kid and both those spots had cut off ages for trick-or-treating. So where was I on the last year I could legally trick-or-treat? San Miguel Marine Base in the Philippines!

The advantages to being on a military on Halloween night are simple. The houses are packed pretty tightly together and most of those were duplexes. Also the base had security, so my parents were cool with me striking out on my own to trick-or-treat. For a long legged kid well motivated by a powerful sweet tooth, that's a winning combination. My costume was a very simple one: it was my karate gi with a mask. We had a two hour window to trick-or-treat. In that time I had covered the majority of the base and managed to load up two whole bags with candy to the point of them nearly over flowing. I still had Halloween candy all the way until the next Easter.

What got interesting was walking home and I ran into my buddy, Joe. Joe was a Filipino kid about my age who lived off base, but was frequently allowed on base to hang out. Nice enough guy, but a bit surprised by seeing me in a mask. You see, he had no idea what Halloween was. He was pretty amped to try to get my candy. That wasn't going to happen and I told him to get his own and this led to me explaining the trick-or-treating process and lending him my mask and a bag after I dumped the candy into my gi jacket. The first house was a riot.

Joe: "You are messing with me."

Me: "No. I swear this works."

Joe: "So I ring the doorbell, and when they come to the door I hold out the bag and... what do I say again?"

Me: "Trick or treat."

Joe: "Trick or treat."

Me: "You got it."

So he rang the doorbell and waited.

Joe: "I'm going to kick your ass if you're screwing with me."

But the lady came to the do, he recited his line, and bingo, candy in the bag. We hit about twenty houses. I had to explain Jack O'Lanterns as he thought there might be candy in there. But once we got back to my house, he loaded up all the candy he got into his pockets and thanked me profusely for telling him all about "the coolest holiday ever".

SPOOKY COMIX!!

Let's start with the end, and by the end I mean death, and by death I mean ACTION COMICS #894. Lex Luthor is sort of a little bit dead. As such he meets Death. As one could probably predict, he's not terribly glad to see her. In fact, the whole situation is completely unacceptable to Lex. Death is pretty understanding about it and they have a nice conversation about the matter. Despite the tag line on the David Finch cover saying "Death in Action" there's pretty much no action in the entire book. However, this was utterly riveting. This was easily far and away my read of the week. I'm not a Neil Gaiman fan, and not because I dislike him, but because his work never really grabbed me, so having his interpretation of Death in here, while novel, isn't the selling point. Its Lex Luthor's reaction to his own demise that makes this book sing.



Also, Lex is kinda a freak. Just sayin'.

Moving on, DETECTIVE COMICS #870 also hit this week. The big reveal I predicted two months ago was revealed in completely predictable manner. This was immediately followed by our bad spilling his guts about his motivation and coming off as the biggest douche ever. It felt like Hine was imitating JMS's crap SUPERMAN story with the "why couldn't you save my loved one, you asshole" bit. I'm expecting Hine to write batman walking across the country now. The story was with gory detail hitting the reader smack in the face with exactly how horrible the loved one in question died. This whole story has gone straight to hell since the beginning. Completely awful and if Hine's frankly if I see Hine's name on anything else, I'm going to pass on it. That's how bad this issue was. It turned me against a writer.

In lighter news, I grabbed up TEEN TITANS #88 because I am a big Nicola Scott fanboy. I absolutely adore Scott's work. I had dropped this title due to it being pretty damn lame, but I couldn't pass this up. J.T. Krul is the new writer on the book, and this is the first thing of his I've read. The roster has been streamlined a bit to Superboy, Wonder Girl, Beast Boy, Kid Flash, Raven, and Ravager. The current Robin, Damien Wayne, is set to join up too. This book was a pretty good time, and I'm definitely on board with it for now. The characters were all likable and well handled. I don't really dig the romantic tension between Connor and Cassie, but that's because I want that coupling to work out. I also dig how Krul handles Kid Flash. Good stuff.

ATOMICA #2 hit this week. This was interesting in that the issue was split into two separate stories. It kind of gave it an old school ARCHIE COMICS kind of feel to it. The stories were pretty light-hearted fair as well. In “The Time Loop Team Up”, Atomica is up against the dreaded Captain Doom. I think his name is the most dreadful part, but he’s pretty formidable. There’s just enough plot to get us to the fight itself, something about that bad ol Captain trying to steal something from Doctor Colluns. What is interesting in here is Atomica gets saved by herself. Literally. It seems her Atomic Power Pendant gives her limited time travel powers, so she popped back from the near future to help defeat Captain Doom and after the win the one that got saved popped back in time to help her past self. Stephen Hawking would probably get up and walk if he read that one. The other story was a bit less trippy. “Atomica’s Day Out” featured her in her secret identity, Rose Lockhart, out and about in the city. It was pretty tame with her shopping and enjoying the park. She met a guy, Ray Ringer, who may or may not end up a love interest. Ray was sketching at the park, and Rose was admiring his work when I random giant spider attacked. I guess that’s what giant spiders do. It was pretty amusing to see such a calm pedestrian story take such a sudden weird twist. This issue was really a lot of fun. So far its surviving my “three issue” test.

SPOOKY MUSIC!!

Because its that time of year, I had to include something from local musician and spooky dude Lucan Wolf.



That's all for now. See you on Halloween!

"SMELL MY FEET!"

Here it comes. Its Wednesday, October 27, 2010, and this is The Side. Only a few days remaining until Halloween and I spotted a new story about age limits placed on Trick-or-treating. What's weird is I thought that this was the norm. I thought everywhere had an age limit of 12 for trick-or-treating. Sure I hit up a few places in high school, but those were people I knew and there was a smile and wink to it. It was my way of wishing them a Happy Halloween. I was busy riding my skateboard through the neighborhood and spraying the kids and their parents with silly string as they were out and about. No problems and all in good fun. The kids would scream. A few of the parents would too. Most of the dads would laugh. But still, that amount of effort on my part required a little sugar boost, so if I needed to stop in for a treat, it was a great reason to say "hi" to some folks and ask how their holiday is going.

I do have a bit of a problem with high schoolers trick-or-treating, especially if i don't know them. They don't put much effort into their costumes. They don't say "tick or treat". I have a hard rule. You want candy from me on Halloween, you better say "trick or treat". It's just sad when I see some goofy kid holding out a bag and looking at me expectantly through a cheap rubber mask. "And what do we say?" I'll ask him (its always a him). "Um... please?"

Damned kids have no since of tradition. What are we teaching out children when they can't even beg of candy properly on candy beggin' night?

SPOOKY COMIX!!

DRACULA: THE COMPANY OF MONSTERS #3 is in stores today. This comic is really taking its time with its pacing, but there's still all these things going on that keep me in the story. We have a new element with a vampire hunting family investigating the killing of the research team from the last issue. This immediately made me think of VAMPIRE HUNTER D: BLOODLUST and the monster hunting group in it. There's not a ton of resemblance between the two groups, but it just had a similar feel to me. Its a good thing that they did get introduced in this issue because they deliver the only action in it.

That is not to say in any way that this was a boring issue. Evan is under a ton of pressure from his uncle to get Dracula to do his bidding and use his powers to aid in a hostile take over. At least that's what Evan is told. He's getting grief from his friends and co-workers about not keeping them the loop about the project he's working on. And let's not forget the vampire in the basement.

Dracula is written very interestingly here. He's highly intelligent, and spends his time locked up but studying the word around him through media. This isn't Dracula like we know Dracula. We expect the devious monster. However we are shown Prince Vlad, who calmly discusses business, politics, and his life. He seems very honorable here, especially in his treatment of Evan, whom he treats with the utmost respect. At the same time, he'll ask to be let out of his confinement and that voice in the back of our heads starts whispering, 'the second he gets loose everyone is going to die'.

This is an old school horror story like I love them. A person messes with something he really should, like Victor Frankenstein or Henry Jekyll. And like them he unleashes something he can't control. Certainly Conrad seems to have the upper hand now. But literary statute tells us that that's only temporary.

SPOOKY BITING!!

I do enjoy a good monster, and certainly there are plenty to choose from. Growing up I did enjoy the classics, vampires and werewolves. Nowadays, zombies are all the rage and I like zombies alright but not so much as monsters themselves but for the situation in which they're often used. There's been a few stories with "vampire apocalypses" but I haven't seen one with a "werewolf apocalypse". OK, the werewolf one I understand. Things would only go straight to hell one night out of the month. The vampire apocalypse stories I've read were pretty lame as well. Zombies still are the reigning champs of apocalypse creatures. I think a lot of it has to with their relentless unreasonable nature. They're more of force that needs to get beaten back, and in most movies and stories can't ever really be beaten. There's always more zombies and they're always still coming for you.

One thing all three of the creatures I've mentioned have in common is biting. Getting bitten is the way one typically becomes a vampire, werewolf, or zombie. And here's where it starts to get weird. If a zombie bites you, its horrible. Usually there's a character who tries to hide it from the others hoping he doesn't turn into a zombie, but he almost always does and turns on everybody at an inopportune moment. Werewolf bites are always treated the same. Some animal attacked someone. They thought it was a big dog or something. Next full moon, the zaniness ensues. Vampire bites are the sexy among the crowd that wears black way too much. The predatory act gets sexual twist to it, because it doesn't matter that these guys are just zombies with slightly higher IQs, they have much better skin and brood a lot.

Here's the break down:

Zombie bite - Having an affair with that really heinous person from the office. You try to hide it the best you can, because once people find out you're as good as dead to them.

Werewolf bite - You were at that party. You had too much to drink. Things got a little fuzzy as the night went on. You woke up the next morning wondering what happened. Then its, "Wait I did what? With who?"

Vampire bite - It was a sensuous and seductive night of passion which you know you shouldn't have had. Unless you're a guy, in which case, some pasty faced bastard put the swerve on your girl.

Its a nasty and drooly state of affairs. Its pretty much accepted in society that biting people is just not done. That's unless its behind closed doors and with two, or more, consenting adults. So there's a little bit of a taboo, intimate element involved. With the zombies and werewolves we don't see them as human so the act becomes something purely predatory. But, make the monster look a bit more like an attractive person, then its all sexy fun time, please drink my blood.

It such a horrible bias.

People only seem to like the pretty monsters.

But remember people: if you love vampires then you're a necrophiliac.

SPOOKY MUSIC!!

Because most songs about vampires and zombies suck:



Alrighty, that's it for today. Join us next time for comic reviews and the tale of my final year of trick-or-treating.

"There's a monster in my closet"

Here we go again. It's Sunday, October 24, 2010, I feel more tired than when I went to bed, and this is the side. Why am I tired, you probably didn't ask. Because I spent what seemed like the entirety to the previous night's sleep having bad dreams. They were the unrelenting kind too. As many of you know, if you're having a dream in which you've won the lottery and are surrounded by a half dozen or so well proportioned, oiled up, and morally deficient young hot-bodies the slightest jolt in your sleep cycle will render it impossible to return to your little nocturnal fantasy land. However if you're having a nightmare, you can wake up, get out of bad, have a drink to calm your nerves, watch a bit of television, and vacuum the floor and the moment you close your eyes to go back to sleep you're right back there.

Nightmares have many different forms. There's of course the traditional ones in which something horrible is coming for you to do something horrible to you. There's the socially awkward ones in which you show up to high school naked or something to that effect. The subconscious plays out many different weird things when your brain is cooling at night. I can say that the majority of dreams are unpleasant ones. Fortunately, I have creative outlet with which to deal with them. The more horror stuff I write and draw the fewer bad dreams I seem to have. Probably has to do with getting the stuff out on paper.

So what bad dreams really get to me? Its usually one in which bad stuff doesn't happen to me, but people I care about with me being unable to stop it. Especially if its the girls. I've found I'm more easily disturbed by bad things happening to little kids since becoming a father. Anything bad happening to my daughters in a nightmare is fully capable of jolting me awake in a cold sweat.

So what gave such a fitful night last night? It was one of those marathon dreams which seemed to last for days and the crux of it was Joey sold Comic Kings. I'm completely serious. The new owner was a jerk. He rearranged the whole shop so I couldn't find anything. All the regulars were gone and replaced by a bunch of douchebags who wanted me to play Magic the Gathering and wouldn't shut up about it. And for some weird reason I needed to get my hands on KITTY PRYDE AND WOLVERINE #6, which I know I have. Somehow, the guy had a trade of it which for whatever reason had Cannonball from the New Mutants on the cover. And despite me telling him to ring me up, he just kept yammering on to people about things and ignoring my attempts to get the hell out of there.

And I have no clue why he was wearing a cowboy hat the whole time. You don't do that indoors!

SPOOKY MOVIES!!

What is the Halloween season without some good scary movies? There's a ton to pick from, and really you can't go wrong as long as they're a good time. I'm not really into the splatterfests like the SAW series. I prefer a good fight, but I do like my scary flicks. Here's some of my favorites.

*FRANKENSTEIN Ah, the Boris Karloff classic. I have a great love for the old black and white horror movies. By today's standards they're pretty tame, but there's still a few decent chills in this one. It always amuses me that everyone thinks Doctor Frankenstein's assistant is named 'Igor'. It's Fritz!

*DRACULA Another classic with probably the most iconic image of Dracula portrayed by Bela Lugosi. Again many may consider this tame by current standards but Renfield in the ship cackling madly is creepy as hell. Back then they didn't have all the fancy computer effects to scare you. They had acting.

*BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA I love it movie. And yes, I even like Keanu Reeve's in this movie. Very stylish, very slick. Scary as hell. Gary Oldman absolutely nail Dracula as a seducer/predator. Anthony Hopkins as Van Helsing is incredible. Its long, but its a lot of fun.

*GHOSTBUSTERS Not really huge on the scares, but its a ton of fun. Dan Aykroyd's grandfather was a spiritualist and corresponded with Sir Arthur Conan Doyle on the subject. A lot of the technical paranormal stuff written into the film comes from actual research. In another little note the role was Peter Venkman was originally written for John Belushi but was rewritten for Bill Murray after Belushi's death. It was joked the green ghost, "Slimer", was the ghost of Belushi.

*THE MONSTER SQUAD Another one that's not big on scares and is actually pretty hokey. Still, I loved this flick when I was kid and watched it over and over. And yes its true:


*SILVER BULLET This movie scared the hell out of me when I was a kid. Its based on a Stephen King novella "Cycle of the Werewolf" which I devoured in an hour on my lunch break back in 6th grade. I've always had a fascination with werewolf lore, and this movie really stoked that fire. Its a really great flick and scary as hell.

*THE CROW Based of course on the James O'Barr cult comic. Brandon lee died making the movie that would make him a star. It was set the night before Halloween and the whole movie just reeks of it. Dank lighting. Guys coming back from the dead for revenge. Weirdo mysticism and spiritualism. Yeah one's a full candy store of creepy all wrapped up in pseudo-superhero revenge drama.

*HELLBOY While I like both movies, I love the first one. Very weird and creepy with nice of Lovecraft smashing against Judeo-Christian beliefs and European mysticism. Mike Mignola, Hellboy's creator, said that if he could go back in time and do the series over again, it would probably be a lot more like the movie.

SPOOKY MUSIC!!

Speaking of Hellboy, here's some Pete Yorn doing a bad ass cover of an already bad ass Nick Cave and the Bad Seed song from the soundtrack to the first movie



That's the shooting match for today. One week until Halloween. I'm still working on my Alfred the Butler costume.

"The snail is the devil."

It's Friday, October 22, 2010 and we're continuing our two weeks of Halloween. heard from on of my Karate parents that a school is getting ready for their "Fall Festival", to which I responded "Why don't they just call it a Halloween Party, and get it over with." Oh no. That would lead to parents complaining to the school board I'm told.

Parents who complain about a school having a Halloween Party need the stick surgically removed from their asses.

There's a lot to enjoy about Halloween and one of the things I enjoy the most is the costumes. Sure, I like the scarier costumes that are traditionally associated with Halloween, but the idea of dressing up and getting out of yourself for a night is a lot of fun. Sure my buddy's son who is planning on dressing up as Batman doesn't know every detail about the character and isn't going to try to really play the role. he's three. he just wants to run around in a fun outfit and say "I'm Batman."

Hell, I want to run around in a fun costume and say "I'm Batman." Halloween is the night in which I get to do it and not have folks think I'm some kind of nut.

There's something to be said for masks. We can act a bit freer. We can take on roles that others don't think fit us. We spend a lot of time having to be ourselves in the real world, so its fun to play a different part, or at least dress the part.

Makes me want to get myself a Cape and Cowl for the Halloween.

Just as long as its not cursed.

SPOOKY COMICS!!!

OK, the comics this week for the most part aren't spooky, but I've got a theme going here so just deal with it.

Let's get the ball rolling with TINY TITANS #33. The comic has introduced its versions of Jason Todd and Tim Drake as pretty much toddlers. But having three Robins is not enough. All the kids in the daycare decide they want to be Robin too. So you have a bunch of little kids running around as Robin just in time for Halloween. This was neat because they worked in Shephanie Brown and Carrie from THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS. I do wonder why little Cassandra Cain had a picture of Dan DiDio that she held onto so warmly. Perhaps she's hoping her DCU main equivalent will get a another series. Lot of fun to be had here.

Moving on over to SUPERGIRL #57 we have our hero dealing with the loss of her planet. Recently Superman and Supergirl suffered a heavy tragedy with the loss of new Krypton. While Superman has dealt with it by walking across the country and being a jerk, Supergirl is doing what she can to save an entire planet. I like her way to dealing better, its certainly more entertaining. Sterling Gates continues to make this the definitive run of this book and I know he's leaving soon, so the next writer is going to have big shoes to fill. The art this time around is handled by Bernard Chang, who with be taking over for Jamal Igle as he also departs the book. I like Bernard Chang, but again, he's got big shoes to fill since Igle was crucial in changing Kara's image away from the "Superjailbait" look. The comic itself dealt a lot with Kara looking at herself by way of seeing her 'reflection' in Bizarro-girl. The introspection was balanced nicely by a giant creature trying to destroy Bizarro World and Kara leading the Bizarros against it. Its a great story covered in a blanket of weird sci-fi. Big win.

I saved BATMAN AND ROBIN #15 for last because there so much going on in here. I absolutely love the fact that this story is coming to head right around Halloween. We're smack in the middle of the "Batman and Robin Must Die" storyline, and everything that's been going on since Grant Morrison started this is coming to a head. The reason I'm so stoked that this is all going down around Halloween is that one of the main themes in the entire run has been playing roles and theatricality. The very first issue of BATMAN he wrote featured Alfred trying to coach Bruce on playing the part of Bruce. It just kept rolling from there. We had the three police officers playing the role of Batmen. Batman and The Joker both taking on different personae. There was that "Battle for the Cowl" nonsense, but then onto Dick Grayson playing the role. We also had Damien Wayne attempting to take the role of Robin from Tim Drake and finally getting it.

On the other side we have Doctor Hurt playing the part of Thomas Wayne. We saw him rehearsing shooting Dick Grayson in the head. There's the whole "The Black Glove" movie that's just come back into the narrative. Everyone is playing the parts, but the actors are having it out as to what kind of story this will be.

I've been right all along. This is all about laundry. Who is going to play the roles? Who is going to wear the costumes? Good and evil are battling it out over who gets to wear the Cape and Cowl.

And the problem with reviewing an issue like this is that there's so much absolutely incredible stuff here that I want to absolutely gush on and on about forever, but I don't want to give away any spoilers. The contents of the box was easily the greatest thing ever, and I'd bet my bottom dollar that the last page was not what it seemed. The good guys have unleashed their ultimate weapon and I'm just giddy about it.

SPOOKY MUSIC!!!

And this song is definitely spooky.



Onward to the weekend.

"I got a rock"

Here we go, gang! Its Wednesday, October 20, 2010, and its time to get in the spirit of the holidays! Starting off with my favorite holiday, Halloween. This was always one of my favorites. What kids doesn't love the idea of running around the neighborhood in a fun costume and getting candy? It did used to be a lot simpler. You did your go around, and when you got home your folks gave the haul a once over to make sure it was all OK and that not one put anything weird in there. Now it seems more and more people have a beef with Halloween. Looking around over the years I see less and less people actually giving out candy to the trick-or-treaters. More parents are opting for the "safe alternatives". Giving out tooth brushes or little gift cards is now more acceptable and doesn't earn the house responsible a proper egging.

There's been a backlash against Halloween from many sides. Some groups say the holiday is Satanic. And then there's the people who want to research it to death and hunt down every last thing they can about any pagan tradition that might even remotely be related to Halloween. All these people can go soak their heads. There's a lot of things that are better just taken at face value. Halloween turned into a holiday where you got to go out and have fun in scary costumes and get candy. Where's the problem? Just let the kids have their fun and leave it be.

We used to have a Halloween party at my church growing up. It was great. We got the wear our costumes. There were plenty of games. The Pastor would judge the costume contest. Everyone would laugh and have a good time, as proper fellowship should be. Sadly the pastor got transferred to another church (no scandal involved, the Methodist church routinely transfers Pastors around) and the new Pastor was a stick in the mud. So on came the "Fall Festival" which displayed a stunning lack of costumes, scary stuff, and apple bobbing.

And then there's the dentists who will tell you how all that candy you haul in is going to rot your teeth. Well, this is true, so of course you have to be sensible about candy consumption. I advise eating all of it in one go. This way you only have to brush your teeth once. I hear that whole sugar rush thing is a myth anyhow.

Ah well. I'll actually be at one of those "safe alternatives to trick-or-treating" this year. I'm very torn by this. Part of my is a traditionalist and wants to take the loin-spawn around the neighborhood. The other half knows that the "trunk-or-treat" even where everyone fancies up their cars and the kids go around the parking lot is going to be a great time. And that's what its all about really, having a great time.

Well, that and Tootsie Rolls.

SPOOKY TV!!!

Growing up as a big ol TV watching goon I saw a lot of "Halloween Episodes" not to mention a few specials that would pop up to really get me in the mood. Here's a few that I really got a kick out of of over the years.

*Rosanne: season 1's Halloween episode. This was back when the show was really good. Dan and Rosanne trying to prank each other to determine who was "The Master" was a hoot. The haunted house they turned their place into was awesome. The best bit was Rosanne telling her daughter Becky that all the demons of Hell come to Earth on Halloween night to get candy because there is no candy in Hell.

*Buffy the Vampire Slayer: "Halloween" "Fear Itself". Both of these were a lot of fun, and watching pretty much any of the series is some decent Halloween viewing. The writing was nice and sharp during those earlier seasons. There was some great thematic stuff about fear and wearing costumes. Good times.

*It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown! The classic of Halloween viewing. Remember when you could dress up in a scary costume, run around with your little friends in the neighborhood, get candy, and then repair to your friend's house to have fun and bob for apples? Yep, stuff like that used to really happen. Not a commercially licensed costume to be seen. No "safe trick-or-treating" alternatives. No one bitching about apple bobbing being unsanitary. All this and a World War One Flying Ace too.

*Garfield's Halloween Special. A bit of a sleeper because they don't seem to show it on network TV anymore. I loved this Halloween special. It was hilarious, and the musical numbers were a lot of fun.



Cripes, I haven't even thought about Binky the Clown in I don't know how long.

SPOOKY MUSIC!!

Because its not Halloween without this sound.



That's it for today! Friday will still have our regular comic reviews, but there'll still be plenty of Halloweeny stuff. See you then.

Soldier Zero is all about the pink!

Head's up, True Believers! It's Sunday, October 17, 2010, I need to get a birthday card for my mother the would-be cyborg, and this is The Side. *Cue the theme song here.*

One of these days I going to stop shamelessly ripping off Toby Turner's openings. I'm really going to have to get a theme song too. But even if i had one I wouldn't stick it on here, because I hate it when I click on a sight and suddenly it starts playing music I never asked it to. And I love music. If I didn't love music I wouldn't include different songs on here even post.

Ah well. Here's some stuff. Have at it.

EARLY REVIEW: SOLDIER ZERO!!!

The first of Stan Lee's projects with BOOM! Studios hits this week. SOLDIER ZERO is about an astronomy professor in a wheel chair who gets an alien war suit bonded to him in an accident. Its written by Paul Cornell with Javier Pina on the art chores. There's been a lot of fuss made over good ol' Uncle Stan's colaboration with BOOM! He's still a very creative fellow and he's created some interesting properties to be handled by some very talented writers and artists. Sounds totally like win. So I was practically giddy diving into issue one. Cornell has knocked my socks off with his run on ACTION COMICS. He gave me a bit of treat with KNIGHT AND SQUIRE which debuted last week. I went in expecting to have a trifecta of a love fest.

I really want to say I loved this book. I really do. But I can't.

Our hero, Stuart Trautmann, is a very nice guy. He works at a university where he's well liked and respected. His brother is a bit over protective of him, but is genuinely an alright fellow. The girl he likes, Lily, is cute and their relationship is genuinely believable. Even the way he gets bonded to the alien suit is really cool and as far as superhero origins go, its a pretty damn good one. The art by Pina is great. He's got a nice clean style that I like. It looks fabulous, and there's a lot of good stuff in there.

With all that good stuff though is seems like one nearly every page in which something isn't falling out of the sky we are hit over the head with how terrible, and awkward it is being in a wheelchair. We meet Stuart wanting to go into a store owned by someone he seems to know and who seems to know him, but he can because the store doesn't allow people in wheelchairs. OK, I get that Cornell wants to establish the adversity Stuart faces being in a wheelchair, and its admirable that he wants to show the everyday plight of someone with a disability. However, its 2010 and its 2010 or thereabouts in this story. I haven't seen a store anywhere, or any building for that matter in this day and age that is not wheelchair accessible. So I didn't get off on the right foot with this book to begin with.

There's little things in there that work like when Stuart says he should get a t-shirt made that says "You can say 'run'." However everyone treating him like he's helpless chaffs of nerves of Stuart and myself. Can he really be surrounded by that many clueless people who can't get past him being in a wheelchair? He doesn't harp on it. He doesn't ask for help because he's still capable of a lot of things. He's a good guy, and still pretty tough, so what's the deal. Every other time we see someone in a wheelchair in media, be it comics or television or movies, we are given the message of look past the chair and at the person. This is the exact opposite, which gives me a taste of Stuart's frustration, but at the same time it comes across too heavy-handed to point where I want to throw my hands up and say "OK, I get it, being in a wheelchair sucks."

There's some other things that I'm trying to work through, like how does a guy with the potential and ability to become a professor of physics get put in the front lines in Afghanistan by the Marine Corps? I have to assume that's what he signed on for since the military has a lot better use for talented hard science guys. It also provided an opening for a knock about how terrible war is and its never worth it. Not a shining moment in the book especially when its a direct reference to current real events. Yes, war is a terrible thing, and certainly we should honor our fallen who fight to protect and preserve our freedoms. I can even understand why Stuart would want to go to rallies and speak out against the war because if I ended up in a wheelchair I'd be pretty damned pissed off about the circumstances that landed me in it. Still, as someone who firmly supports our troops and our mission I found the scene off-putting.

My many gripes aside, its not a horrible book. Its pretty solid, and I'm interested to see what happens to Stuart now that he's bonded to an alien warsuit that seems to have a mind of its own. The action was sparse in this issue, but that's how it is with a lot of origin issues, so no trouble. I want to see what Stuart can do with the suit, and I want to see more of him and Lily. So issue 1 didn't really thrill me, but there was enough good stuff there to make me want to see what happens in issue 2.

THINK PINK!!

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness/Prevention month. What this means to people who don't care is that they'll see pink stuff with slogans like "Save the Ta-Tas". Breast Cancer isn't typically my cause, as I tend to do more for pediatric cancer in terms of fund raising and donating. My most notorious act to raise money was getting my head shaved couple of years ago, which raised about $300. Worked out alright, because money went to a good cause, I look great bald, and it helped raise awareness. Downside was my head later got sunburned, and that sucked.

I've just found out about salon in Kansas doing their part for the cause this October. For $10 they'll put a pink streak in your hair and all the money goes to charity. This is a small, privately owned salon in a modest town. At last check a few days ago they had raised nearly $800. They unfortunately don't have a website, but you can find them at:

The New York Hair Affair
433 New York Ave.
Holton, KS 66436
(785) 305-1973

What do we learn from this? First, that even in tough economic times people still have giving hearts. Second, pink hair is worth more than my lack of hair.

MUSIC!!

The Danger Days are coming and they're sounding completely awesome.



That's a wrap for today. Starting Wednesday I'm starting a two week long Halloweenfest. Expect some spooky fun. See y'all then.

Where's Teatime Brutality when I need him the most?

Its Friday, October 15, 2010, I fancy a cuppa, and this is The Side. I'm a bit behind of things, but no matter, still got stuff for you, I just which it was more. Just like I which my Brit Brother was still on his blog because I'm sure he'd be able to shed some light on Paul Cornell's latest undertaking. That's the thing with the British, their accents make them sound smarter than me even if they're spouting off complete hogswill. And also they sound funnier even if I don't get the jokes.

Not that I want to be British mind you. Seems like a nice place to go visit, but our food is much better.

COMIX!!

Its one of those weeks where everything was a lot of fun, making it really hard to pick a read of the week, so I'll just say everything was awesome, including Mike Fedaerali over at Comic Kings for hooking me up this week.

Let's start with something new, KNIGHT AND SQUIRE #1 came out this week. This book has a major problem and its right on the cover. That problem is that this is only going to be a six issue limited series. The book itself is a hoot and brings in a very strange Britain into the DCU making me would with the rest of the superhero community, aside from Wildcat who has nifty little guest role, know exactly what kind of stuff goes on over there. The issue is primarily world building, but the world is so damn weird I feel like a tourist on vacation. Fortunately Jimmy Broxton takes the pictures for me, so I don't have to worry about that. This book is loaded with oddball character courtesy of Paul Cornell. Most fun of the bunch is Jarvis Poker who is the British version of the Joker, who loves the Joker's fashion sense but can't bring himself to commit any of the crimes. This book is loaded up with enough British slang that I need Richard over here to translate. I watched 20 hours of BLACKADDER, THE VICAR OF DIBLEY, and SNATCH and still had no idea what most of them were saying up. I think Cornell just made most of it up and that its all about penises. More great mysteries to add to life.

Moving one to the BATGIRL one shot, which is a "Bruce Wayne, The Road Home" even though Bruce isn't home quite yet despite what David Hine would have you think. I don't know why is is released as a one shot instead of just being a regular issue of BATGIRL aside from maybe hoping for a sales boost. Its a lot of fun as Steph has to deal with the return of Bruce and wanting to stay Batgirl no matter what Bruce wants. Bryan Q. Miller does a geat job in making Steph extremely likable in every issue, and this is no exception. My only regret is that DCU didn't release things in a proper order. Seeing the future is nifty, but it takes away a bit from the present when dealing with stories like the current Bat-epic.

Speaking of Bat-epicy things. GAME INFORMER magazine had in their November timeline feature:

"DC Comics can't find a solid direction for Batman."

This was quickly followed by a bit of a revelation as the reviewer gave away a bit that explained the previous statement;

"...penned by Grant "I Write Confusing Stories" Morrison..."

And let this be a lesson to you all. If you're too dim to realize that a story has a difinite direction and has had one for a few years now, but want to say otherwise because you're too dumb to understand what exactly is going on and are too stuck on yourself to ask, you shouldn't be reviewing anything for any publication. You belong on the internet.

This of course brings us to BATMAN: THE RETURN OF BRUCE WAYNE #5 with Bruce Wayne right where he belongs: in the middle of a detective story. He's bringing together a lot of clues and more is revealed as he investigates a murder. And that murder is that of Martha Wayne. This story brings back the whole deal with John Mayhew and the Black Glove movie that came up waaaaaaaaay back when Batman was trapped on the island with the Club of Heroes. And sure enough, there's Doctor Hurt, looking just he is now. This issue touches on something else we saw back in R.I.P. in that the Wayne reputation is under attack as well as the man himself. There's bit about reputation as it applies to the self. Its interesting in that how people see you is a good gauge of your own character, so if you change how people perceive someone do you change that someone? Its an old school attack, but this story brings a cool new twist to it.

THE CHILEAN MINERS

The Chilean miners that were trapped deep underground forever and day are now free. There was much weeping with joy. Constant news updates went out around the world. It was pretty much THE news story going on. I haven't talked about it on here until now. Its not for lack of caring, because I've been following this story. My grandfather was a miner. My grandmother's first husband was a miner. The first husband died in a cave in. My grandfather got his back broken in one. So I do really appreciate the risk these people take in this profession.

This story says a lot about people. It shows that no matter how much media will tell us about people being horrible to each other, we can still find people that will band together. When you hear about a bunch of guys going 17 days on 2 days worth of rations, it sounds downright miraculous. And these guys weren't perfect. I heard one guy started digging deeper when he found out his wife and mistress showed up at the site to show their support.

Are they heroes?

Maybe to some people. What they endured was extraordinary. I find their resolve pretty valiant. Circumstances like this will either bring out the best or the worst in people. This one brought out the best.

And we can't forget the amazing rescue effort. These guys would have been goners had this happened back when my grandfather was mining. Nice to see some technology that isn't communication tech being put to use.

So, to echo pretty much everybody else who has commented on this, congratulations to the rescue team, and glad to see the miners have gotten out safely.

MUSIC!!

Don't think is qualifies as posh, but oh well.



That's it for today. See y'all soon. Cheerio.

The format is DEAD!

Heads up! Its Wednesday, October 13, 2010, I'm ready to chew nails, and this is the Side. There's nothing really exciting me in the news right now, although the rally in Philly looks like it was a good time. Between the streaking and books getting chucked at the Pop Star-in-Chief it looked like a hell of a party. Of course I had nothing to do with either of these.

The book did miss after all.

DEAD MEN WALKING!!

Death of major fictional characters is always a sticky thing. There's got to be purpose to it. You've got to be ready for the hate mail from the people who love the character. It can be a major undertaking. Nowadays there's a new question facing writers/creators:

"When are they coming back?"

Its different with villains. Villains get to return for the grave pretty much whenever they like. Its an accepted literary double-standard going back to old school gothic literature and the concept of the undying evil. Their return makes them more powerful and mysterious having conquered death and this in turn makes the hero greater since heroes are often defined by their villains. Heroes don't get the luxury of coming back all willy-nilly, or at least they shouldn't. Death is supposed to be the ultimate sacrifice for the hero. And there are occasions where heroes can come back, but it seems like in comics those occasions are getting to be about as rare as Bill Maher being a douchebag.

Sure there's different levels of 'dead'. There's the mysterious death in which a character is presumed dead by their absence. Typically this is after something like an explosion or something folks don't typically live through. There's the recoverable death when the character has something bad happen to them that should kill them, but they receive some sort of care or treatment that the audience doesn't get let in on until later. For example, the hero gets shot, everybody thinks he's dead, because he wasn't moving or maybe even wasn't even breathing, but he was taken to some super medical type place where they saved him. And then there's dead dead. That's the type of dead where there's no question that this character is done in.



Death has become a bit of joke in comics. They used to say Marvel had a revolving door in heaven for as many characters have come back from the dead. Jean Grey of the X-Men is the poster girl for this. Its not really an X-event until she dies. Twice. But not DC has absolutely eclipsed Marvel with "Blackest Night" and "Brightest Day" shenanigans. These two events pretty much confirmed what DC readers have been thinking for a bit. If they think there's some money to be made they'll bring back any character they want despite the significance of their demise. We kind of went along with things when they resurrected Oliver Queen. We rolled our eyes a bit when they brought back Hal Jordan. We knew it was getting flat out stupid when they brought back Barry Allen. Now we have the message that death is pretty much meaningless. This makes me wonder about the next issue of ACTION COMICS in which Lex Luthor will be meeting Death. Sure, she seems chipper enough, but I have to wonder it being made meaningless by Geoff Johns has left her a bit bitter.

There are types of stories in which death is viewed much differently. In some stories the afterlife is a very real place which characters travel to and from. Death gets weird here. They've recently started showing old episodes of DRAGON BALL Z on Saturday mornings and they've gone back to the first time the hero, Goku, died. At this point he went off to train in the afterlife which was cool because it involved a monkey. But he had to get is training done in a year because that's when his friends were supposed to bring him back so he could fight the next big threat. Odd stuff, but that story has its established rules about life and death. Yes, you can get resurrected, but certain criteria have to be met and it can only happen once.

Then there's other stories like the TV series SUPERNATURAL in which both the main characters have been killed and have come back. In this story Heaven and Hell are both very real places and folks from both come to Earth. Stories like this already have an open door to the afterlife. However, heroes traveling there and back is treated very significantly. Its also important as to what goes on while that character is in the afterlife. Typically the characters could not return from the afterlife under their own power and required a "higher power" to bring them back, the exception to this was John Winchester climbing out of Hell. Still, the criteria is fairly well established.

With all these rules and nuances of death of characters, there's nothing wrong with letting a character stay dead. There'll be some folks in the audience upset, but that's only if the character has a following. In fact if there's an outcry about a character dying, that's probably a good thing because that means the writer made people give a damn about the character. And there's still plenty to do with characters that die if done properly. By 'done properly' I mean the dead has to have some significance. Going back to comics now.

*Hal Jordan, great dead guy. Served as great lesson and cautionary tale about power and morality. Even popped up here and there as a spirit.

*Barry Allen, great dead guy. Was the 'saint' of the DCU having sacrificed himself to save the universe. Popped up here and there thanks to time travelly goodness.

*Ted Kord, awesome dead guy! This character left a really incredible legacy that was picked up on and run with fabulously in titles like BIRDS OF PREY and of course BLUE BEETLE.

Death in literature has meaning. It has to have meaning. If it doesn't then life has a bit less meaning. If you don't care about a character dying, then you didn't care about that character living, and that's a sign of bad writing. So the whole resurrection shell game going on in comics really needs to come to an end, because it cheapens things. It cheapens something that's really very important. Death is supposed to be final for a hero. The ultimate sacrifice. The hero risking death to do what's right isn't risking too much with the resurrection safety net under him.

MUSIC!!

Alrighty, that's all for today. You are free to go on about your daily lives and pine away until Friday when I post again.

Face Space Book Race! Home Grown Edition

Look alive, Sunshine! It's Sunday, October 10, 2010, and I have begun the annual six month process of raking my yard. This time might go a bit quicker as I intend to skip the whole bag them up and set them on the curb thing this year. I will miss creating considerable walls of bags of leaves every weekend, but its time to move on.

And by moving on I mean taking a book of matches and some gasoline to metric ton of crunchy brown that'll inevitably cover the yard.

I clear yard with FIRE!!

As such things should be done.

NWA, GO GO GO!!

Wandering over the NWA (Neighborhood Watch Association)HQ last night, I came across our fearless leader in the midst of a dilemma. He had a toothache. He's had it for a while now and he was determined to solve this problem. Going to the dentist was, of course, out of the question. So, he and his partner in crime were in a garage looking for some good pliers and some zip-ties.

Yes, its true. I'm the sane one in the neighborhood.

Take a moment to contemplate that one. Roll it around for a bit.

I'm the sane one.

The zip-ties of course were to restrain our fearless leader as his tooth was removed so he doesn't kill everyone he lays on. I had just gone over there to say "Hi", but obviously I couldn't leave now. Unfortunately, not enough alcohol had been consumed to go through with the deed, but tomorrow is another day.

TO INFINITY AND *POP!*

If you haven't seen this yet, then you've probably been away from your computer this week, and in that case, welcome back. Pleasantries aside, let's go into space.

Homemade Spacecraft from Luke Geissbuhler on Vimeo.

I am actually a little disappointed that they found the thing themselves. The notion of some random person coming across it or it landing in someone's backyard hundreds of miles away and them sending it back would, first, better a better story and, second, be the weirdest moment ever for the person who finds it.

Unless they were just greedy, ignorant bastards and just hollered "LOOKIE HERE, I'S GOTS ME A iPHONE! GOD SENT IT TO ME! My's prayers done been answered."

THE REAL REASON FOR FACEBOOK

It seems that Facebook founder likes to touch young boys inappropriately. That must be the case since he certainly doesn't look like Marlon Brando. He probably started that website just to lure in young boys so he could get weird over him. Yeah, ignore all that stuff in that there movie. Otherwise why else would he join NAMBLA on his own site.

Oh wait, he didn't join NAMBLA.

Someone created a Facebook group called NAMBLA and stuck him in it without his permission.

Oh my word, how could someone do such a thing? How could someone put you in a group without your permission that can be viewed online? Well, pretty easily, because it's Facebook. And Facebook makes it really easy for people to do things to your reputation, like sticking you in groups you don't belong in, or posting candid and embarrassing pictures or you complete with your name that you never wanted to see the light of day, or "signing you into" places when you don't want people to know where you are or you might not even be to begin with. But all that is OK, because Facebook is oh so nifty and all your friends are on it, right?

This NAMBLA prank happened to the creator of the site. What could people do to you?

TOURNEY TIME!!

Time again for my monthly Tourney over on Google Buzz. This time around I've got Monster Hunters squaring off and battling it out for supremacy. Just the thing to get us fired up for Halloween. You can check it out here, and if you have GMail don't forget to get on in there and vote for your favorites.

MUSIC!!

Am I alone in wanting Sid Vicious to rise from the grave and taint-punch Justin Beiber?


That's the whole ball of wax for today. See y'all Wednesday. And don't worry about the whole clearing my yard with fire thing. If I burn my eyebrows off again, I'll make sure to take pictures. All because I love you.

Of Funny Books and Banhammers.

Yeah, that's right, it's Friday, October 8, 2010, and its time to get my nerd on. Oh wait, comic books and video games are popular at the moment. Nevermind.

Its time to get my cool on.

COMIX!!

We get the ball rolling with SECRET SIX #26. There's now two Secret Six teams and each is working for a different Government agent. Spy-Smasher sent the newer team led by Bane to take over Skartaris, the mystic land from THE WARLORD. Amanda Waller reorganized previous members and promised them she'd clear out their records if they stop the other team. There's a bit of political gaming in here with Waller and Spy-Smasher, which I dig because it gives some pretty decent context for the action. Seems there's going to be a nuclear attack on the United States and that is why Spy-Smasher's Six is looking to take over Skartaris. So, we've got a lot more questions raised by the answers we're given which I also really dig. It took me a bit to really get into this storyline to be honest. Gail Simone makes it an enjoyable enough ride, but I wasn't fully engaged until I knew what the stakes were. Now I'm all in. There's a bunch of fun little bits sprinkled throughout this book. Simone really loves her bad guys and it shows.

From mystic lands to deep space we head over to R.E.B.E.L.S. #21. There's a lot of focus on a pair of rookie Green Lanterns in this issue. I'm currently not really too keen on Green lanterns nowadays, but I'm OK with it here. This book has brought together a lot of really fun space heroes into one book. When you have that much of a good time in space then a Green Lantern or two are bound to show up. What I love is that this kicks off a new storyline that segways flawlessly out of the previous one. There's plenty of action as the two rookie Lanterns try to take down Lobo. I'm not a huge Lobo fan, but he's a lot of fun in this book. His line about what "R.E.B.E.L.S." stands for was pretty damn funny. I don't hear a lot of buzz about this comic from folks which is a real shame because its consistently a lot of fun.

Over in BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER #37 I'm kinda stuck a bit. Joss Whedon is back on board with some of the writing chores which is awesome because this storyline seems to have spiraled right off a cliff. There's this thing called the "Seed of Wonder" which is the source of all magic on Earth, but also the think that stops all the other dimensions from pouring in. It also, of course, is located under what used to be the Hellmouth in what used to be Sunnydale. And somehow The Master from season one of the TV show is down there guarding the thing. All that and Buffy is completely preoccupied with the thought of naked fun times with Spike making me wonder when and why she became kinda a Slutty McSlutslut. I'm just kinda going through the motions at this point. It's an alright book, and I'm hanging in to see where this all is going but its gotten pretty inaccessible, and that turns me off.

BATTLEGROUND: CALIFORNIA!!

In 2005 California passed a law restricting the sale of violent video games to minors. This law has never taken effect because its been challenged in court. Looks like its heading to the Supreme Court now. Here's the short of it. Lawmakers are trying to protect children from violent content in video games, and let's face it some of the games are really violent. This law is being challenged on Free Speech issues stating that if the games become less accessible to people legally, then stores might not carry certain games and game makers might stop making them.

This, of course, is ridiculous on a number of levels.

First off, most people who purchase violent video games are over the age of 18. These are the people with the money to actually purchase video games because the things typically aren't cheap. Also I would like to think that retailers would show a bit of tact in selling games that are rated "mature" to kids. This is the same way I don't see theaters selling tickets to rated R movies to kids. Despite what some people may think retailers can and do show some discretion while trying to make money. They don't want some pissed off parent coming into their store, or worse going to the news, because little Timmy got his grubby little mitts on LEFT FOR DEAD.

Second, this isn't really a Freedom of Speech issue. No one is banning or censoring anything. The people up in arms are claiming that this could lead to video game companies censoring themselves. Well, that's up to the company. They certainly don't have a problem making games that are rated "M" now. I don't see that changing when this law passes.

Third and most important as to why this is stupid, IT'S THE PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY TO KEEP THINGS THEY DON'T WANT THEY'RE CHILDREN TO SEE AWAY FROM THEIR CHILDREN!!! The Government is not there to be your freaking nanny. These games have ratings right on the cover, are usually you don't even need to see that because games where people get dismembered in them usually don't have bunnies and rainbows on the cover. Of course little kids shouldn't be playing games that are excessively violent. And there's people who will say "My kid played these games when he was 10 and there hasn't been a problem." If you are saying that then you are a bad parent in this regard. You're as bad as the idiot, redneck motherfuckers I saw hauling their little kids into the theater to watch FREDDY VERSUS JASON all those years ago with the little girl crying "I don't want to see this movie."

I play video games. I have some pretty violent ones too. I don't play them in front of my daughters. I'm not the greatest dad in the world by any means. But have some common sense. And that puts me ahead of some people.

In an amusing twist, video gamers are now launching a protest. They're writing "I believe in Free Speech" on their old controllers and mailing them to the Congressman who wrote the bill. This is pretty much a futile gesture as the time to do this would have been about five years ago when the law was actually written and being presented. I do however encourage people to join in the protest because I find the notion of Congressman's office piled high with video game controls to be hilarious.

Holster it, people. This isn't anywhere near as bad as when there were mass burnings of comic books after "Seduction of the Innocent" was published. Its a useless law aimed at protecting parents who can't seem to handle their jobs as parents very well and don't know how to tell their kid "no" when they ask for something they shouldn't have.

This ain't nothing new.

MUSIC!!

I'm on a roll this week. Hitting rough patches here and there, but still rolling.



And that's Friday, done and done. Have good weekend. I'm going to go play SILENT HILL and make my three year olds watch because there's no law to stop me.

Gail Simone battles George Lucus with Jetpacks!

Its Friday, October 6, 2010, my hair is a mess, and this is the Side.

First off, 24 Hour Comic Day was last weekend. That's when creators produce 24 pages of comic in as many hours. Our good friend, loyal supporter, and all-around awesome gal Kat Hogan participated. Her project can be seen here. Go there. Enjoy. Don't worry, I'll wait.

Done?

OK, let's go.

IT'S HEADED RIGHT FOR US!!!

George Lucus announced last week that he has no more ideas in his head at all but still wants your monies. Translation: he's releasing the STAR WARS movies in theaters in 3D. This of course is great news for the dozen or so people who think 3D is awesome and this announcement makes their lives complete. The rest of the population rolled our eyes and asked "Really?"

Because its not like George hasn't messed with the franchise enough. Sure he created it, and the orginal films are awesome. Then he turned around and released the movies and updated some of the special effects. Alright, we're OK with that as long as everyone is clear that Han shot first. After that off course came the prequels, which really weren't that good at all, but we still watched them because we're a bunch of lemming nerds. We dealt with it though because "Phantom Menace" had Darth Maul, and "Send in the Clones" had Yoda kicking ass, and "Revenge of the Sith" had... had...

OK, "Revenge of the Sith" completely sucked.

But soon you'll be able to see it suck in 3D!

They're planning on rolling out "Phantom Menace" in 2012 as the Mayans predicted.

Probably by that time everyone will be completely fed up with 3D and just sit home and watch their pirated DVDs of the original trilogy. Y'know, I'm against stealing content, I really am, BUT I've watched the movies, I've watched the releases, my parents bought me a ton of the toys when i was a kid. I even got the Boba Fett action figure in the mail before "Empire Strikes Back" came out and nobody knew who this guy was or what he did, but HOT DAMN did he look cool! And I'm definitely anti-entitlement, however, for all the hard earned money that I and my parents have spent on STAR WARS I should be able to watch the version I want on the format I want.

So, I want a DVD without Hayden freaking Christianson photoshopped into the final scene of "Jedi".

That's not too much to ask.

So Mister Lucus, with all due respect, F'N QUIT IT!!! Quit screwing with the movies I love. Do something new or just enjoy retirement.

BATTLEGROUND: TEH INTARWUB!!

Cyber-bullying seems to be on the rise. This is when someone picks on someone else online. This is made much easier by social networking sites, but its absolutely not their faults. They do what they can to crack down on these sorts of things. Parents are very worried, but don't seem to be worried enough to keep their kids offline.

NEWSFLASH: There's more to the internet than Facebook.

There are a lot of websites that are very well moderated geared towards young people. And you create your own user name so unless you tell people who you really are, then they won't know. When you put yourself out there online, whether you are a child or an adult, you put a target on yourself. That target is not only for criminals and weirdos, but for anyone who doesn't like you. So if you're going to go online, you either need to know how to keep your online privacy secure, or grow a really thick skin.

And then there's the claim of this won't stop what people say behind your back. Look, this is nothing new. Waaaaaaaay, back when I was in school before such inventions as the internet existed people would still say things behind other peoples back. I'm pretty damn sure Thomas Edison created the telephone just so he could talk shit about people behind their backs, because tapping out how stupid someone is in morse code is a pain in the ass. And certainly people talked about me behind my back. I was a skinny kid with braces who read a ton comic books and made great grades. No one lifted a finger against me and no one could say anything that I hadn't heard a million times before. Being able to throw a spiral, hit a softball a country mile, and people not being sure whether or not I was a black belt in Karate didn't hurt either.

Bottom line: there are people on and offline who suck and will target anyone if they think they can get away with it to make themselves fell better. You can't hide from them forever and you mommy won't always be around to deal with them. Learn to deal. Either ignore it, report it, or get ready to get your hands dirty.

COMIC SPECULATION!!

I really don't spend a lot of time on Twitter but when i do things just jump out at me. Like this from Gail Simone for example:

Even people who haven't been reading BOP are gonna want to pick up the DEATH OF ORACLE storyline. Just saying.

Now this may cause some people to worry quite a bit as oracle is a very beloved character, however I can tell you not to worry as my sources have ferreted out the truth. I say this because my sources are actual ferrets.

Oracle will not actually be dying because Oracle can never die. Instead Barbara Gordon will be sent back in time to sit in an ancient clock tower for a while. In the meantime the "Battle for the Comp" mini-series written and illustrated by Ed Benes will be launch to determine who will be the new Oracle. The new oracle will be Wendy Harris and working along side her as the new Proxy will be the daughter Barbara Gordon never knew she had, but it'll make for an interesting dynamic since the younger Gordon was raised Mark Zuckerburg and is evil, sorta.

A mysterious force will begin bouncing Barbara through history where she'll found Microsoft, invent the telegraph, as well as develop the Dewey Decimal System.

This is going to be great!

MOVIE SPECULATION!!

They've decided on a director for the upcoming Superman movie: Zack Snyder. Nolan and Goyer are still producing and writing the project. I'm still not sure about this project. On Nolan's end, I loved BATMAN BEGINS but hated THE DARK KNIGHT. With Snyder I loved 300 and that's the only movie of his I have to go on. I did not see WATCHMEN because I did not particularly enjoy the comic and had no urge to go see the a movie based on a comic that I didn't enjoy. Still I've seen some clips of it.

I don't know how well Snyder's stylized approach will work with the property, but I've got a bit of confidence that he'll do something pleasing. Its Nolan I'm worried about. Nothing this guy has made gives me a feeling that he'd be a good fit helming the Superman project. All of his movies that I've seen are visually appealing, but are pretty dark affairs. That's not the sensibility I'm comfortable with when looking at a character like Superman. Of course he could really surprise me and make a great and inspiring piece.

So, we've got another time will tell situation. I'm really hoping to be pleasantly surprised.

TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!!

A company is getting closer to making a commercial jetpack. This is good because the one I've been building from the kit I order from the back of that old AVENGERS comic isn't looking to promising. Really this thing isn't a "jetpack" so much as an "enginepack", however "jetpack" sounds much much cooler.

Of course you'll probably need a license for the thing and have to file flight plans to use it, oh, and there's of course the fact that most of use will never be able to afford it. Kinda takes the shiny off a little bit.

I'll probably never be in a position to be able to afford on of those things. Still, if I'm sitting around being old and crotchety, waving my cane at the neighborhood kids and telling them to stay the hell off my lawn, and I look up to randomly see someone someone streaking across the sky with their jetpack...

Bah. I'll probably be all bitter and pissed off that I didn't have one too.

Odds are this won't get too far with the public. There's probably be some outcry that its not environmentally friendly because *GASP* is runs on gasoline. Freaking hippies expect us the fly using fairy dust, and that's not going to happen because the same hippies will get torqued off because we'd be exploiting the fairies' natural resources.

MUSIC!!

I'm feeling like some punk this week. And not that crap that they try to pass off as punk nowadays on the radio.



Wow, that was a lot of stuff. Alrighty, I'll see y'all on Friday. I'm going to go build a fence now.