Weird, Possibly Racist Sex

By everything good and sweet in Odin's beard! It's Sunday, December 19, 2010, I'm not frozen, and this is The Side. Most of the snow is finally gone. We were supposed to get more last night but were spared. Its been an unusually cold December here. I was wondering why and then I saw that there was a United Nations Conference on Climate Change. Then it all became clear. I don't know why they keep deciding to do these things around winter time, but it always gets damn cold when they do.

I don't blame the Metrodome collapsing on Climate Change. I blame it on the goofs that keep having big meetings about it.

DOIN' IT AND DOIN' IT AND DOIN' IT WELL

Sex is a complicated matter. First, you've got to find a willing partner. Then you've both got to be in the mood. Then you should make sure that proper protection is in place, which can be a pain, but it beats the hell out of the alternative. Then you've got to be careful not to yell out weird shit in the middle of things, because no matter how into things you both get, yelling out "MOMMY!" does not tend to go over very well. Then there's the afterward which may involve cuddling, which is fine but sucks when your arm goes to numb because she's laying on it. Then there's the next day which can be awkward if its a random hook up or someone did yell out weird shit the night before, but often that and the occasional soreness are over come by the afterglow provided everyone was throwin' it proper.

That's just glossing over all the hoops people jump through just to get to the sex. But then without all those hoops the romantic-comedy genre wouldn't exist, and where would we all be without that?

I get baffled by people who make the entire thing a lot more complicated than it has to be. Provided you're not some complete freak who likes kids, corpses, or giant weird machines you've got four options.

1: Liking to have sex with men.
2: Liking to have sex with women.
3: Liking to have sex with both.
4: Not liking to have sex with either.

That about it. I do understand on some of these cold, lonely night when a poor fella is alone but he lives near a farm. They've got sheep. He's got hip-waders. I do understand. I lived in Harrisonburg, Virginia so you just have to accept these things when the lead story in the local paper is that the authorities have discovered the reason why cows kept getting their heads stuck in certain spots in a fence. (Two words: "mooing violation". True story.)

But part of it is trying to find one specific little group for ourselves that makes us feel like part of a special little club. If describing your sexual preference sounds like you're ordering sissy coffee from Starbucks, then you're just sounding pretentious.

Going back to good old Harrisonburg and my college days, there was a guy there would was transgender. He had all the male parts, but he identified with women. He preferred to dress as a woman. He preferred to go by the name "Jenn". He also liked men in a romantic way. So, Jenn AKA Jeff was gay, and that's cool. What isn't cool is when dummies went to correct me saying he wasn't gay, he was transgender. "In her soul, she's a woman." "Sure, but in his pants, he's a dude."



All these special little tags do is overly complicate matters, when they're already complicated enough. There's not problem if you're straight, gay, bi, or asexual. Its when you start rambling off about being transquadpolyramalamadingdongsexual that your start sounding like a loon. In fact, if you identified yourself with one of the kooky titles back in the day you'd likely find yourself being forcibly asexual as no one would want to even deal with that nuttiness. However the internet is here, and for every weirdo title or fetish or whatever, I'm sure there's a chat room somewhere with their name on it.

RACISM... sorta...

As many of you may have heard there's going to be a Thor movie coming out in May. No, seriously! I have proof!



Pretty cool stuff. I like Thor, and the movie looks like a lot of fun. However, some folks don't think so. Yep, there's a black guy in Asgard and a group of racists ain't happy about it. Now, the article states that its a group of conservatives that are pissed off. Let's just clear one thing up now: speaking as a fairly conservative fellow those jerks are nuts. All conservatives don't share that kook fringe group's views. They're nuts, so let's nit turn this into a political indictment. Already groups have slammed these morons. Now, I'm not too keen on on calling Norse mythology a bunch of stuff "made up by medieval drunks", because there's a few people out there who aren't nuts and believe it. We're supposed to respect all religions so calling it a bunch of made-up crap is a bit uncalled for.

So, let's call things for what they are. Stan Lee, Larry Lieber, and Jack Kirby drew upon Norse Mythology when creating Thor. They didn't do a whole ton of research and just kinda went with things, but it grew and evolved. So, the Asgard and Norse Mythology elements in the Marvel Comics are not exactly 100% true to the actual Norse Mythology. This is much the same as how Greek Mythology is treated over at DC with Wonder Woman. It's all fiction and not to be taken too seriously as both companies treat the mythologies they borrow from with due respect.

Here's the problem: there's no black guys in Norse Mythology or are there any in the Mythology as interpreted by Marvel. However in the movie there's Heimdall (Ironically known as "The White God) being played by a black guy. Now, I'm sure Idris Elba is a fine actor. I'm sure he'll do a great job with the role. But seriously, isn't it kinda nuts to cast a black guy as a character who it makes no sense whatsoever to depict as black. This isn't like making Nick Fury a black guy, this isn't even like when there was that online campaign to cast a black guy as Spider-man. This is like casting Kevin Spacey to play T'Challa. This just seems like a really heavy-handed attempt at multiculturalism. Don't get me wrong, multiculturalism is cool. Other cultures should be shown and celebrated. Still, looking at the clips of the movie he looks like the token black dude of Asgard.

Ah well. The movie still looks like fun and I'm looking forward to it. Here's the scorecard. Casting Elba as Heimdall is dumb, but not unforgivable. The groups boycotting the movie are morons, and should just be written off. And the flick opens in May, which means I need to to start saving up now if I want to have my popcorn and Cherry Coke when I watch it.

MUSIC!!

Because some things aren't complicated.



That's all for now. My dad's in the hospital, so any prayers and well wishes sent his way are very much appreciated. He should be alright, tough old dude that he is, but its still a bit jarring.

See y'all later.