Lead Up to Avengers Shake Up.

If you've been paying attention to internet "news" about comics you may have seen everyone browning their trousers over a woman being Thor and a black guy being Captain America.  There's been calls of torches and pitchforks and all the typical internet stupidity that one would see from those outraged about comics that they don't read.

For those who saw these stories and are curious about what is going on and haven't been keeping up with the books, the whole thing is revolving around a storyline that Jonathan Hickman has been doing.  There's going to be a time jump, and what's the point of the time jump if everyone is exactly as they are now.  So, we get to see some fun change ups.

The problem is that this is getting some interest from people who haven't been reading the Avengers books and its honestly a lot to catch up on.  So, here's a really horrible recount of everything.

Illuminati: "We be the smart dudes that make big heavy choices, and don't tell no one."

Black Panther: "A parallel Earth almost crashed into us!  What's up with that?"

Illuminati: "We don't know.  Join our club?"

Black Panther: "OK."

Reed Richards:"The multiverse is dying.  We're all screwed."

Ironman: "We got this."

Reed Richards: "Another parallel Earth!"

Illuminati: "Get the Infinity Gauntlet!  Who's gonna use it?"

Ironman: "Get Steve to do it!"

Infinity Gauntlet goes blooey.

Namor: "You dumb-ass!  You wrecked our Gauntlet!"

Ironman: "We may have to blow up the parallel Earths to save ours."

Cap: "Not cool!"

Ironman: "Gotta do it."

Cap: "Don't be a dick."

Ironman: "You're out of the club.  Enjoy your mindwipe."

Later.

Ironman: "Hey Steve, help me build a really awesome Avengers team."

Cap: "OK."

Weird stuff happens on Mars.

Weird stuff happens of Earth.

Spider-man gets turned into a douche.

White Event.  Cause New Universe is cool.

Thanos: "Child support sucks!  Killin' all my bastards!"

Ironman: "Something is kicking everyone's ass in space and is heading this way."

Cap: "We'll go help!"

Thanos: "The Avengers have split!  Let's wreck their shit!  Is my Gauntlet here?"

"Its busted, but the Time Gem may be around."

Thanos: "Cool.  Go find it while we're here."

Gladiator: "The Builders are dicks.  We're gonna kick their asses."

Cap: "We'll help."

Gladiator: "Whatever."

...

Gladiator: "Oh shit!  The Builders are dicks and are kicking our asses!"

Cap: "OK, I've got this."

Namor: "Black Panther is a dick and has your Time Gem.  Go kick his ass."

Thanos: "Hey, BP, all your base belong to me.  Now, where's my kid?"

Black Bolt: "You're a dick!"

Thanos: "Screw you!  Gimme my kid!"

Black Bolt: "Terrigen bomb!  Suck it, you purple-faced douche!"

Thanos: "Dick."

Gladiator: "Thanks for kicking the Builder's asses.  Thanos done took your planet."

Cap: "Well, guess we gotta kick his ass too."

Gladiator: "Got your back, homie!"

Thanos: "Gonna kill my kid."

Thane (Thanos's kid): "Nope."

Ironman: "More parallel Earth keep wrecking each other and some of them have people on them."

Reed Richards: "We got a bomb."

Hulk: "I know what you've been up to."

Ironman: "Join our club."

Hulk: "OK."

Reed Richards: "Here comes another Earth."

Ironman: "We gotta destroy it."

Dudes from parallel Earth: "Not cool!  Y'all are dicks!"

Doctor Strange loses his shit.

Illuminati: "We really don't want to kill a bunch of people to save everyone."

Namor: "Y'all are pussies.  Imperius Rex, bitches!"

Parallel Earth go boom.

Illuminati: "Not cool, Namor!  You're a dick."

Namor: "Whatever."

...

Namor: "Got me me a new crew.  Gonna wreck some stuff."

Cap: "I remember now!  Tony is a dick!"

Ironman: "Chill!"

Cap: "You're a dick, and I'm gonna kick your ass!"

Time Gem.

Time travel things.  

Cap gets back.

Cap: "Ironman is a dick and so are the rest of the Illuminati.  We're gonna kick their asses."

Illuminati: "Oh shit!"

And that's pretty much where we're at going into the next issues.  Its going to jump ahead about eight months and the separate titles will be catching up over the next eight months.  If you want you can go ahead and hunt down the trades to get a better idea of everything that's going on.  Its good reading.

Have fun.

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