Government: fail

We're currently in shutdown mode as far as the federal government is concerned.  This is because legislation can't be agreed upon on funding the government.  Main of us have an alright idea about how this is supposed to work thanks to Saturday morning cartoons.

This is a decent little overview that doesn't get into the all the little details and hoops that are jumped through.  Right now we have two political parties that most people align with.  Governor Bob McDonald said it best in a radio interview I heard.  "Two sides come to the table with what they want.  Neither side will likely get everything they want, but hopefully we'll get legislation everyone can live with."

So if something is a good idea and both sides can agree on it then it should get through to the President with no problem.  If there's something that can't be agreed on then we go to committee and its argued about.  Negotiations are had, compromising is done, and deals are made.  Again, we hopefully end up with legislation everyone can live with.  Its balance, and that's important.

So where did we come off the rails?  Due to imbalance.

For a while one side had a "Super majority" which was described by Jon Stewart as a "Grizzly bear with chainsaws for hands".  One party had enough representatives to completely push the other party off to the side.  This is never good.  Super majorities are bad because it provides too much power to one side and that side can forget that they don't speak for everybody.

The United States of America is not a democracy.  A democracy is mob rule.  If you don't enshrine individual rights first then democracies can be utterly horrible.  Example: me and my buddy want your Playstation.  You don't want to give us your Playstation.  We vote.  2 against 1.  We get your Playstation.  That's democracy.  However, you have a right to your property, and there's laws about that.  So the vote does not matter, because we can't legally take your Playstation?

People have somehow forgotten in all the rhetoric and bile being spewed all over that these two parties and the representative in power are representatives.  So when one side gets froze out, those are people whose voices are not heard.  One side had enough power to ingore people that they had the ability to make laws for.  Yikes.  However, people don't like imbalance and then 2010 happened.  Each party controlled a side of Congress.  This is supposed to be a good thing.

For those a little shakey on why the government shutdown happened, the Congress has not passed a annual budget in five years.  This goes back to when one side had that super majority so it wasn't parties bickering that started this.  Without a proper budget that government has been using "continuing resolutions" to keep things funded, which really is a stupid way to do things.  That's just flat out not doing your job.

A continuing resolution came up, and the House added in that they wanted to defund the Affordable Care Act.  They want to do this because the House is currently controlled by Republicans and no Republican voted for this act nor were they consulted it the formation of the bill that was voted on.  They were froze out and not considered.  This means the people they represented were not being considered.  That's never good so they are working hard to get rid of that law and get, again, legislation we can all live with.  That bill went to the Democrat controlled Senate and the Senate said "no".  OK, the Republicans sent another bill over with a different request.  Again, blocked.  Finally they asked for the individual mandate in the ACA be postponed a year just as the mandate on businesses was.  Again, no go.  The Senate wanted a check with no strings attatched.  The shutdown happened.

This isn't the first time this has happened.  Its happened 17 times before under 5 different presidents.  Each time the president got in there and negotiated to get things going again.  I'm not a huge fan of President Clinton, but the when the government shut down on his watch, he was in there everyday working to hammer out a deal.  And he did it.  Like him or not, the guy handled his business.  The difference is we now have President Obama who said, when his party had the super majority, "Republicans can come along for the ride, but they have to sit in the back."  He's refusing to negotiate.  He's not doing his job.  Probably why he's currently enjoying a 37% approval rating while Clinton's rating was over 60%.

One side does not get to make all the rules.  Doesn't matter which side it is.  These parties are supposed to be talking to each other and trying to figure this out.  Not only is the Senate refusing to do this, but they aren't even considering the bills the House have been sending over funding parts of the government to try to lessen the impact of the shutdwon on the people.  And if you're ready to rail against Republicans as the talking heads on TV have been so eager to do, consider this.  If the situation was reversed and it was Democrats trying to have negotiate and it was a Republican controlled Senate refusing to have any of it and a Republican President sitting back and just scolding your representative for not just doing as they're told, would you like that?

Then we have those people who holler about term limits and get rid of everyone in Congress.  People have the ultimate rule on term limits.  You don't like your representative, then vote to replace them.  However, it seems that many of the people who yell about getting rid of those in Congress don't have a problem with their representives.  "They're all horrible... except for my guy."

This'll keep going for a bit.  Part of me sort of wishes they Republicans had just gone along with CR so we could all focus on the massive fail that the ACA has been this week.  There's talk on the debt ceiling now.  Typical BS.  Those not in power are against it, while those in power are for it even though they said it was a horrible idea when they weren't in power.  Don't worry too much about this.  A law was passed a while back that prevents us from defaulting on our debt because we much pay the interest on it to avoid default.

So, hang in there folks.  The shutdown does suck, but its been this bad before.  We got through it then, and we'll do so again.  You can't count on the Government for everything.  It up to us to do what we can for ourselves, and when necessary help those who need it.

Be good to each other.

And talk with each other, not at each other.

Because that's what caused the problem.

My day in court

Last month on Friday the 13th, I got in a car accident.  Everyone was fine, but my car got impaled upon the truck's ball hitch.  The truck in front of me had to make a quick stop.  I did likewise, but my car started to skid and whammo.  His truck had no damage at all, but my Ford Focus couldn't say the same.  I do have both halves of my former licence plate.

Police come on out and do the accident report.  I get a ticket for following too close.  When the car is getting repaired its notcied that my alignment is off and the tires are showing bad signs of premature wear.  That explained why the car hit the skids.  So I have a good case to beat the ticket and save a bit of money and few points on my licence.

Court was today.  I put on my good goin' out clothes and I sit there waiting my turn.  Seems it was "Take you kid to your hearing day" as I counted four infants and toddlers in the courtroom.  Seemed like half the people there were there for driving with a suspended licence.  One guy showed up and the judge infromed him that his case had been continued to another date and he should probably keep in touch better with his attorney.

There was one lawyer there, old dude, wearing his blazer jacket, bow tie which matched his scarf, and SANDLES!  I couldn't believe it.  That suit certainly wasn't all business.  

After waiting around for about an hour, I get called up.  I'm ready.  I'm set to plead "not guilty", and I've got my paperwork to prove my case.  I'm gonna beat this thing.  I'm smiling and perfectly pleasant.  I exchange a few pleasantries with the judge.  Nothing smart-ass.  Just a "Good morning" and a "How're you".  

I'm then informed that officer that wrote the ticket could not be there today and my case was dismissed.

I felt a little bit like I had trained for a tournament, but was the only guy to show up for my division.

Still, in the courts, a win is a win and I'm not complaining.  

Little free advice for DC.

AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D. premiered this week and its getting good reviews and people are liking what they see so far.  Marvel is firing on all cylinders to the point that in an interview Chris Hemsworth was asked about the rivalry between marvel and DC and he pretty much replied "What rivalry?"  Such is the extent of whupping Marvel is putting upon DC on both the large and small screen.

Right now, I'm firmly in the Marvel camp.  They're giving us these really fun movies and on the DC side we and given a whole lot of dark and grittiness.  The creative directors over at DC are pushing the dark crap to the point that they don't want their heroes to have pleasant personal lives.  They're current big event is all the villains taking over their books.  Meanwhile, Marvel is serving up insane space adventures with its heroes rising up against threats that I can't begin to fathom how they're going to beat, but the good guys have Captain America so we know the good guys have got this.

Right now, Marvel's got a better paradigm about its creative direction, but what I'm looking at is its paradigm in its direction into other media.  They have major movies in different franchises linking together in a shared universe, and now a network TV show linking to that.  Disney is loving this.  They don't have to look far to get their stuff out.  They have a successful movie business already and they own ABC.  They're being smart.

DC Comics is owned by Warner Brothers.  Warner Brothers has a TV station, the CW and they make movies.  So why can't they put two and two together and start making things exciting for fans?  The season premier of ARROW will be hitting soon.  Think they'll mention the huge alien invasion in another city?  Even in passing?  Of course not.  They refuse to let the chocolate mix with the peanut butter.  So instead of dropping a line or two and linking the show to the new Superman franchise MAN OF STEEL launched, their big news is a TV show about Commissioner Gordon before Batman came on the scene.  

Everyone, including Warner Brothers, wants a Justice League movie to happen.  The new Superman movie will have Batman in is played by Ben Affleck.  Some of you are upset by this casting choice.  I'm upset that they aren't firing Christopher Nolan and Zack Snyder and letting Affleck write and direct it as well as play Batman.  There was the GREEN LANTERN  movie that did not do too well, but it did indeed happen and has established the character.  There's talk of a Flash TV show spinning off from ARROW.  A big hang up for a lot of people is that Wonder Woman hasn't made it to the big screen yet.  We can work around that a bit.

My suggestion: link the TV and movie properties.  This gives you Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, Green Arrow, the Flash, and possibly Black Canary to play with.  The Justice League movie can introduce Wonder Woman.  Give people something to really get excited over.  

TV Review: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

There's been a whole lot of hype around this show, but in case you've been living under a rock, here's the breakdown.  Marvel has been releasing movies that all tied together and culminated in 2012's THE AVENGERS.  Marvel is continueing to release movies, and has now released a TV show on ABC tha exists in the same shared universe as the films.  This TV show is being helmed by Joss Whedon who is also overseeing the Marvel movie projects.  This is not a knock off show with a couple of characters that you may recognize the names of from a successful movie.  This is a continuation of what we saw in theaters.  This is what happened after the credits rolled.

This delivered on all the hype.

Gregg Clark returns as Agent Coulson who we all saw die in THE AVENGERS.  The details of how he's still breathing are gone over and its fairly satisfying for five seconds until we get a major hint dropped that all isn't what it seems.  Coulson assembles a team that is going to be specializing in containing the emerging superhumans that are appearing.  If you're going into the first episode expecting huge action and stuff blowing up left and right, you're going to be disappointed.  What you will be getting is a very thoughtful, very careful pilot episode that does exactly what its supposed to do.

If you never saw any of the Marvel movies you can get through this with no problem.  Sure, you may miss a reference or two but the story does not hinge around the viewer's knowledge of the Marvel flicks.  Brilliant move.  This is about expending the audience, not just catering to the established fanbase.  Yes, THE AVENGERS happened, and is referenced.  IRONMAN 3 is referenced as well, and pretty heavily, but again, you don't have to have seen that movie (and if you didn't, you can Redbox that thing soon, but no rush) you're still good to go to keep up.

The cast was great.  The writing was sharp.  The action scenes were very nicely done.  There was a lot of heart to this.  Some of the scenes really grabbed me, and yes, I did gasp out loud at one point.  I had a lot of expectations going into this, and I can honestly say they were exceeded.

5 Simple Rules for Karate Judges

Last weekend I competed in and judged at the Old School Classic Karate Tournament.  I'm happy to report that I won the grand championship for forms.  First time I've ever pulled that off.  While I'm happy with my results, there's been some issues I've had in the past with judging, and these are things that I try to teach my students about so when and if they are called upon to judge at a tournament it'll go smoothly for them.  I'm writing these as a person who has completed for over 20 years in open tournaments and has been judging for nearly as long.

FIRST: If you are new to judging in open tournaments makes sure the other judges know this before things get started.  They should help you along the way.  Also try to get in a ring that handling younger kids.  Its a great learning experience and five year olds typically don't get too crazy when they don't like how you're scoring things.  And if you are a more experienced judge and you have a newbie there to help, make sure you let them know what they need to know.  I teach my students how to judge, but not all dojos do.

SECOND: Know the rules of that tournament.  There is usually a black belt meeting before these events in which the rules are gone over, and that's when questions are asked.  Go to that meeting.  It does not matter if you've done these things a hundred times, everyone needs to be on the same page before getting into a ring.

THIRD: It is not your tournament, it is only your ring.  The rules are in place for a reason, and you don't get to change them.  It does not matter if you are a 9th degree black belt.  It does not matter if you are yourself a tournament promoter.  You stick by the rules established.

Years ago, back when I fought in these things, we were being staged for our weight class and the center judge informed us that she would be allowing face contact in our division since we were black belts.  The rules as established and gone over repeatedly stated clearly, "No face contact", and I informed her of this.  She told me if i had a problem with this then I didn't have to fight.  I informed her that if she had a problem following the rules of the promoter, who was paying to insure the event, then she shouldn't be judging and I had no problems getting the arbitrator over to sort her out.

Just last weekend, one of my black belts was judging a ring and one kid split the other's lip.  There's a no blood rule in effect for this event.  You make the other guy bleed and its a DQ.  My students stops the match, pointing out the blood.  The center judge tried to keep the fight going.  Fortunately my student announced loudly enough "Blood" that it caught the arbitrator's attention and he got in the ring to sort it out.

When its your tournament and you are paying for the insurance on the event then you can make the rules.  Until then, know the rules and enforce them.

FOURTH: Make your calls quickly.  Don't look to the other judges to try to see what they are saying so you can follow suit.  You've got to make a call and make it quickly.  This is especially true in fighting.  Nothing gets everyone ticked off faster than a late call.

Remember: the "no point" and "didn't see" calls are perfectly legitimate calls.  Judges are positioned in different spots in the ring for a reason.  Everyone can't see everything thing.  If a judge calls a point and you didn't see it, there's no harm in calling that you didn't.

FIFTH: Go over the rules briefly with the competitors when they get to your ring.  Helps things go smoothly and there's a lot less confusion.  This could be the first time out for some of these folks and they may have questions.  They paid their money to enter so taking a minute to make sure everyone's straight on everything in good for the tournament.

There's other little tricks I know and I try to make sure that everyone has a good time when they get into my ring.  These five points that I touched on are important and should always be considered when you are judging.  These tournaments are supposed to be fun, and the best way to ensure that they are is with good judging.

Words fail me.

There are times when I hate people for how they use language, and I'm including myself in this declaration.  Yeah, as a former English Major I have been known to completely butcher the language, but I figure having a B.A. in English doesn't mean I have to be snooty about it.  Sometimes though I like to use words and language as they are supposed to properly be used.  When that earthquake caused the terrible tsunami in Japan I told my buddy I thought it was awesome how the effects of that quake could make it all the way to the west coast crossing the entire Pacific.  I then caught grief from him about how could I refer to anything having to do with that quake as "awesome".

"Awesome" is currently the "cool".  "Cool" is nearly antiquated now.  Thank you, Bill and Ted.

When I referred to what happened as "awesome" I meant it in the classic sense.  I was in awe of the effects of the quake.  I saw the video of the waves coming into California.  It really made me consider the power of our planet.  Certainly I would not refer to a natural disaster which killed many people as anything ressembling "cool".

I'm bringing this up because of something that I talked about today with Federali and Joey Part Deux up at Kings.  We were talking about Marvel's INFINITY storyline
and event.  Last post I made a joke about how it was a tie in to the new Disney video game since they both kicked off inside of a week of each other.  Here's the thing, this storyline is offically three issues in, but its been building in multiple books for a while.  Hickman's set the stage for something that's really huge.  

Let's look at what's going on.  

A group called The Builders are taking out everything in their path.  The Avengers have ties to the Kree and the Shi'ar, and the Builder's path is heading forwards Earth.  Captain America has taken a team into space to join with the major players in the Marvel Universe to combat this.

Back on Earth the Illuminati have been busting their butts to try to save Earth and the Universe from the collapsing of the Multiverse and parallel Earths crashing into our earth.  This process destroyed most of the Infinity Gems.  And we have Namor and the Black Panther going to war with each other, so there's back-stabbery afoot.

To top things off, Thanos is looking to put the curb stomp on the entire planet and has sent his generals, the Cull Obsidion, to get the last Infinity Gem and put away anyone who gets in their way.  As such, ironman and the Illumanati, instead of prepping to take on the Builders in case Cap's team and the rest of the Universe can't stop them, are in it up to their necks dealing with one fired-up mad Titan.

Seriously.  Holy crap, that's a lot going on.  And that's just a brief overview. 

There we are talking about this storyline and there's just one word that I could think of to describe, and I didn't even want to use that word because of every goober online using it to describe anything remotely above average: "epic".

This thing is freaking epic.

This is like Hickman is saying to the funnybook fandom and the internet, "Yeah, that word you've been misusing?  I'm taking it back."

Because, as the Missus said earlier and paraphrasing THE INCREDIBLES, "When everything is epic, nothing is epic."

To Infinity and... something...

This past week Disney released it new DISNEY INFINITY game on multiple gaming platforms.  Game Informer is saying this is going to be one of the top 5 games this year.  Lots of hype, but the game itself is pretty remarkable.  Characters from Disney and Pixar movies that everyone loves coming together for us to play with and giving us the ability if create worlds to run these characters around in.

Its not surprising that Marvel, being owned by Disney, would put out a tie-in comic to really get as many people as they could on board.  The first issue of INFINITY came out last week, and Jonathan Hickman has guided his AVENGERS series to this event, much like the nice folks over at Gamestop have been collecting thos pre-orders.  The cross marketing has been subtle, and fortunately Hickman has been very careful not to overplay things.

Both the comic and the game deal with multiversal concepts.  The game does branch out a bit more as it allows players to explore multiple Earths wereas the comic just sticks to the Marvel U that we know.  There has been a lot in NEW AVENGERS dealing with "incursions" which stem from a chain reaction caused by on universe in the multiverse being destroyed and the other universes reacting to that void.  Has of yet I have found no such destruction of a Universe in the video game, although to be fair I haven't played through the MONSTERS UNIVERSITY segment of the game, nor purchased the CARS and  THE LONE RANGER expansions.

The big feature in the video game is "The Toy Box" which lets you create, customize and populate your own world with various things you earn in the adventure protions of the game.  You have ability to alter and erase elements as well.  Hickman cleverly inserts this element into the comic with the Builder characters.  These are essentually gamers on a cosmic level whom really enjoy Sim City and Civilization type games in which they guild and nudge species towards goals.  They also seem to like a bit of Pokémon as they'll work to evolve species as well.

These builders have gone a bit nutters and are wiping out worlds.  They go after the Space Knights and the Kree in the comics.  This is a clear cut message to old school ROM fans, there's a new age upon us and they have not qualms about breaking out the magic wand from the game tools and deleting whatever they don't like.  However, it must be noted that these Builders are not the good guys.  In fact Captain America is leading the Avengers into space to help confront them.  This echos something unwritten in the game but the message is clear throughout much of the gameplay: "Its better to create and nurture an idea than to just wipe it away."

So my compliments to Disney and Marvel for such a great game launch and tie-in event comic.  Many people were worried that Disney would lean on marvel a bit after the acquisition to put out book that push the Disney brand, but I'm happy to report that even though Marvel is paying its due to its parent company, its doing so in a very entertaining fashion.

The New Alternative

I got a homework assingment from Lee Foster over on 96X: listen to this song and tell him what I think.

96X is the local alternative rock station.  I like that song.  Its very good, but does it belong on an alternative station?  96X is very much the radion station for me as right when I was coming on age this station challenged my ideas of rock and roll.  Seattlle had just exploded and you had Nirvana, Soundgarden, and Pearl Jam blasting like anthems for us Gen-Xers.  There were other bands like Hole and Sponge that caught my attention.  The station changed as the genre changed.  Ska came into vogue.  Weezer kicked off a whole new wave of nerd rock.

Alternative music has changed a lot over the years, but now we're looking at something that doesn't quite fit the mold.  Alternative Country music.  They played a track today on there "4:20 Buzz" that's along the same line.

Alternative rock came about when we looked at what was being sold to us as "our music" that was supposed to be youthful and fun and said "bullshit, this isn't us."  It was pop garbage, and carefully constructed images and dudes in spandex wearing girly make-up with bug teased hair which was supposed to be what drove girls wild.  We didn't care.  We didn't want that.  We tuned into the radio because that's where the weird, interesting music was.  Music that was different than the recycled crap that was played over and over agian n the rock stations.  We wanted different and alternative music gave it to us.


Now we're a couple decades down the road and another genre has turned to pop garbage: country music.  Let me get this straight, we went from Hank Williams and Lorreta Lynn, to Travis Tritt and Reba McEntire, to Scotty McCreery and Tayler Swift?  How the hell did that happen?

So we have an uptick in what is known as Americana.  Bands like the Avett Brothers, and Old Crow Medicine Show which utterly forsake the pop route in favor of soulful, poerful music that resonates.  Lee told me yesterday, "There are people who love the Avett Brothers and people who just like the Avett Brothers, but nobody hates them."  People are resonding to this music just like the Gen-Xers responded to the Seattle sound.  They don't like what they are being told is country music so they're going with the alternative.

This brings us back to our main thought, if Americana is alternative country music, shouldn't it be played on an "alternative" station even if that station made its bones in alternative rock?  96X seems to be a station in flux.  Has been ever since they cut loose the Mike and Bob Show.  They have to decide where they go from there.  Do they want to fully embrace this alternative idea?

At the very least, could they bring back "The Punk Show" on Sunday nights?

Random Acts of Education

Last go around I wrote about how the Gifted and Talented programs I had been involved in did absolutely nothing for me, and pretty much put me off wanting to be involved in any of them.  I do wonder if those things served more as some weird networking type tool that if I persued would give me good contacts that would allow for social and professional advancement later.  I'm also pretty sure that the programs now have a lot more to offer kids.  That said, while I think those programs did nothing for me, that's not to say that my time in school was all a waste.

I mentioned Coach Donovan in my last post.  He was the phys ed teacher when I was in the Philippines.  He always gave off the vibe that use kids were the reason his hair was turning grey.  "Kid, I swear you're going to send me back to the oil fields."  I don't know if he ever really worked in any oil fields, but him saying that and shaking his head at me as my latest stupidity utterly exasperated him gave me a chuckle.  He did delight in getting one up on us little punks too.  Like in a game of Simon Says when we were ordered to jump up, but he called everyone who came back down 'out'.  That's right, to beat the old man we had to break the laws of physics.  A few of us even managed to pull it off.  Here's the thing: Coach loved us.  This guy honestly gave a crap about each one of the little twerps that came through that school no matter how long or short a time we were there.  He'd take time to actually teach us and encourage us when he knew we needed it.  I model much of the way I teach after the way I watched him teach.

With all my many interests, some of them I did not discover without the aid of a teacher.  One of those teachers was one I couldn't stand: Ms. Warren.  Her class was miserable.  She was an English teacher who could not pronouce the letter "R".  She'd just stand there in front of us like the ultimate know-it-all, and it was insufferable.  One of the most easy-going mellow guys I knew in high school finally got up and stormed out of her class never to return.  But, one of the short stories that we studied was "The Red-Headed League".  Yes, the classic Sherlock Holmes story.  This wasn't the first Holmes story I had read for a class, but Ms. Warren did a group exercise to teach about detective work.  Each student was given a fact about a case.  We all have to work together to get the clues in order to solve the crime.  We did two of these, one was a murder, and the other was a theft.  I solved them both, easily.  This sparked my love of a good mystery and love of detective work.  I've been watching that "Whodunnit?" show on ABC this summer and absolutely salivating, collecting the clues and lining up that cases.  That's something I'd love to be in the thick of.  I'd have it won in a walk.

My big interest came from another English teacher: Mr. Babb.  This was not some advanced placement class.  This was the standard M1A1 English composition class.  Mr. Babb was a younger guy who joked around with us and his class was pretty easy going.  He gave me an assignment that probably changed my life. "Write something."  The stuff I turned in ended up being twice as long as what he asked for.  He said we were going to spend about two weeks writing a short story, going through all the steps, and learning the process.  It only had to be about four pages long.  I came back the next day with eight pages.  I became obcessed with writing that story.  I could not stop that night until it was done.  Looking back, it was crap.  That's not some weird modesty or me being self-depricating.  The story was really horrible.  But Mr. Babb liked it.  My classmates liked it.  The girl who did not like me at all, liked that story.  I've written much better ones since then, but that class and that teacher put me course to write all the stories I had in my mind. I'm still working on that.

I then got to college, and for a while was not sure why I was there.  Grades weren't good at all.  Lot of stress.  I wanted to quit, but my folks would have had my ass if I did.  Then I learned some very important stuff.

1: I'm a moron who doesn't know everything, but I can pick it up if necessary.

2: Stress will kill your ass sure as cyanide.

3: When faced with overwhelming anything, don't panic, pick the most pressing target, and just start slogging it out.  Hesitation is not an option when there's a deadline.

4: You can get through damn near anything as long as you've got your buddies with you.

I've had a lot of teachers during my time in education.  I remember many of them very fondly.  But it wasn't some special schooling or gifted program that did it.  It was teachers putting out ideas that I could latch onto.  It wasn't he tests or memorizing stuff.  Those are important, but that's not what changes a student.

Its inspiring the students.  They don't have that in study guides or teacher's edition text books.

Pass the Dunce Cap

When I was a kid, someone got the notion in their head that I was smart.  I don't know where this came from.  My coloring skills were miserable.  I showed no leadership ability at all, nor any interest in leading much of anything except a lunch line.  My grades were alright, but not top of the class.  I liked reading comic books so maybe they figured me nerding out early was some sort of sign as to a superior intellect lurking within me.

In fourth grade I was placed in the elementary school's "Gifted and Talented" program, or GAT, due to what must have been a clerical error.  This entailed me and a few other fourth graders being sent to the library once a week to engage in activies to feed our young gifted and talented minds.  One the first day we were asked what we wanted to be when we grow up.  Of course the answers of scientist, and doctor, and astronaut and such were written down.  I do indeed remember what I wrote down.  

"I want to be a Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestler."

Of course my parents were mortified, but as Lewis Grizzard wrote, "Wrestling is like eating collard greens.  When you're hooked, you're hooked."  My hero was Jimmy "The Boogie Woogie Man" Valiant.  I was on the edge on my seat when he was feuding with "Exotic" Adrian Street.  Unfotunately, I never filled out and suck at wrestling.  Another young dream dashed.

So I sat in GAT class with my dreams of the squared circle, and I don't remember anything about the class aside from being shown those pictures that are really two images depending on how you look at it.  There's that picture which is an old woman, but also a young woman looking away.  Never did see the old woman.  Drove me nuts for a long time.

Fourth grade gave way to fifth grade, and it was on to middle school.  The GAT program continued by this time it was once a week being loaded onto a bus and taken to a whole other school.  It was a bit more memorable in that we had a computer class.  We knew computers were the way of the future, but I really didn't care.  The teacher did his best to teach us a bit about computers, and I sat as patiently as I could waiting for the end of class when he'd let the class play a few games on the old comps.

This only last a few months as midway through my fifth grade year my family moved to the Philippines.  They did not have a GAT program at the Oliver Hazard Perry Elementary school.  They had a TAG program.  Same old soup, just re-heated.  I also somehow formed an intellectual rival, Gladney Asada.  Gladney was smarter than me.  Looking back, my desk was smarter than me.  There we were in the TAG program, which met one afternoon every other week.  I hated it.  The only thing I remember from that was the question getting posed "That would be a more sensible color for a road to be other than black?"  That's what we were supposed to ponder with of talented and gifted minds?  

This began the my first practices in skipping class.  We all went home at lunchtime, and I'd fake sick and stay home to watch cartoons featuring giant robots doing giant robot type things.  My grades started taking.  I didn't care about the classes.  Didn't care much for my teachers aside from Coach Donovan who was great guy.  This got me out of any giftend and/talented programs for the time being.  I never got anything out of them.  But then, I was a lousy student.

Upon returning from the Philippines I started to get myset back in order.  My folks said that my transcripts got lost in the move.  Yeah, right.  The TV did, but those transcripts with all my lousy grades got buried somewhere.  I started fresh, and worked a bit at school.  My grades were good, but not great.  Some people still labored unted the notion that I was smart, which was crap, but I didn't dispute it.  Things were moving along smoothly enough.  I managed to make the honor roll on a regular basis.  If you made honor roll, you got the skip out on a class for a pizza party.  I usually skipped those.  Went one time my senior year.  Quickly realized why I skipped all the previous ones.  There was nothing there for me.

Junior year I was offered to join the National Honor Society.  What was weird about that was if you did not want to be a part of it you had to sign a form and turn it in to the school's NHS director who was my old biology teacher.  There were meetings to go to and some sort of club fees.  I had no car and wanted no part of it.  My folks both worked and would have had to take off to pick me up from school after the meetings.  They'd have done it, but I didn't want to ask them to do it.  So I signed the form opting out and placed it on Mr. Regan's desk at lunchtime, when he was out of the room.  That part wasn't intentional, but I was just dropping off a form.  Later that day in Chemistry class, Mr. Regan slipped into the room, spotted me, and quietly moved to where I sat in the back of the room.  He held the paper in front of me wanting to know why on earth I would opt out.  He did this as discretely as possible, which I respected.  I told him the truth.

"I can't get a ride, and don't really want to."

Academic achievements are important.  Working hard in school is important.  Grades are important.  But to me, I just wanted to get by.  Not the best attitude.  If I had a better one then maybe I wouldn't be a laborer for a living.  Ah well.

Hope its over

The George Zimmerman trial has concluded.  The not guilty verdict is in.  If you have no clue what I'm talking about then I look forward to hearing your tales of life under a rock.  I'm so glad its over.  I don't care about the verdict.  I'm just hoping this blows over without riots or any more violence and hopefully the dimwits shouting how "the system" is racist, and there's no justice will eventually settle down.

This whole thing breaks down to two guys who made a bunch of bad choices.  Unfortunately one of them ended up dead.  Tons of public outrage.  Obama spouting bullshit about "if I had a son, he's probably look like Treyvon Martin."  All this pressure to put Zimmerman away.  Ridiculous amounts of news coverage.

The prosecuting attornies should have gone for a manslaughter charge, but think about how that would have played out.  "How can they not go for a murder charge!" would be the battle cry from all the people who had already made up their minds about what happened despite not having seen all the evidence.  This of course has much to do with media spewing forth every little factoid (regardless of accuracy) and opinion that someone has to offer.

This was such a circus.  A big stupid circus.  The media hyped it up for ratings.  People got their outrage on and fed the media beast.  It spiraled out of control.  Everyone who disagreed with someone else was somehow a racist, and then there were the actual full on bigots that popped up to either call for the lynching of Zimmerman or say disgusting things about a dead teenager.  If everyone had just shut their yeps and let this play out and let the police, and investigators, and the attornies do their jobs then Zimmerman would probably be in jail over a manslaughter charge.

Keep that in mind.

Movie Review: Despicable Me 2

Yes, answering all the questions left unanswered by the original DESPICABLE ME, here comes the sequel. Actually, there were no real questions left unanswered by the first film.  Pretty much a nice little self contained little piece.  The first movie was cute.  I got some good laughs at places.  Left it feeling good.  There was really only one thing that really demanded another movie be made.

Minions.

I love me some Minions.  If the movie powers that be decided that they were going to make a movie that was nothing but two hours of Minions doing Minion-type thingies, I'd go.  I doubt I'd be alone either.

However, this isn't MINIONS THE MOVIE, its DESPICABLE ME 2, and Gru is back!  When last we left him, he was going to hang up the whole super villain things and dedicate himself to being a father to Margo, Edith, and Agnes.  That's exactly what he did too.  This isn't about Gru adjusting to being a good dad.  He rocks at being a dad.  Sure he's got plenty of help with all his little, yellow henchmen, but he's completely engaged with these kids.  The interactions with them are deligthful and completely believable.

But there's trouble afoot, and Gru is called upon to use his expertise to stop a mysterious villain before things go horrible.  To top it off he's partnered with a delightfully eager and adorably awkward partner, Lucy.  Yep, we have to see if Gru can save the world and find love while doing it.  

Let's break this down.  This movie is a lot of fun.  I enjoyed it more than the original.  Technically sound on all points with animation quality, voice acting and everything.  The story was light and fun, with just enough heart and plenty of adventure.  Took the kids, and they had a blast.  It managed to keep adults entertained without getting to heavy on the "adult" humor.

Like I said before, I love Minions.  They really were the breakout stars from the first film, and there was plenty of Minion hyjinks to be enjoyed here.  However, this movie smartly gave us more Minion-y goodness, but also balanced that very well with the overall story.  It could have easily turned into something that was Minion topheavy and just had the story there to get us from one goofy Minion bit to the next.  It didn't.  This flick really delivered.

Now, for anyone wondering if this movie suffers from "Trailer fail" (In which all the really good parts are shown in the trailer and the rest of the movie is lame), it absolutely doesn't.  Go see it.  Find a kid and take them.

The Ballad of Steve and Larry

Saw this video.  Made a comment about making a fan-fiction, and so of course I had to do it.

It was a tense day in the far away land known has Minnesota. Queen Ashley looked to skies which were hazy and odd looking, like the distorted dreams of one who had eaten too much pie. She feared for her subjects, many of whom were too busy looking at cat videos to take note of the possible, impending threat. The noble queen stood atop the outer wall of her keep with a cool evening breeze blowing through her blonde hair. She pondered what was to come, much like she pondered the severity of hangovers after nights of much hearty beer.

It was then that the enemy struck. It was trolls. Hundreds of them. They brayed and screeched; yowling to the heavens about the queen’s editing and content. They shouted how she was derivative and added nothing of value to the ether of ideas that swirled through the world. The queen knew that her loyal subjects would rise up to defend her, but she also knew too well the harsh consequences that could come from such skirmishes. Insults would be hurled. There would be flames; OH how there would be flames.

Well, if the trolls wanted flames, then flames Queen Ashley would give them. The foolish trolls must not have known that her realm was protected. The cool evening breeze strengthened to a gust; a gust which could only be caused by the mighty dragon, Larry! As Ashley took to the highest tower to survey the coming battle, Larry swooped overhead. His passing made her hair and dress wave and dance like parking tickets before a leaf blower. His mighty, green wings carried him straight towards the troll hoard.

The trolls unleashed their battle cry of “Tits or GTFO!” and the sky was then filled with spears and arrows aimed at the noble lizard. With one flap, Larry created a mighty wind which scattered the spears and arrows. Still the taunts came. Still the torches were waved. Larry belched forth a mighty fireball which sent the little hobgoblins scurrying and squealing, like a tween girl in the face of an annoying Canadian pop star. Larry took pride in his earnest work defending the realm of Queen Ashley and it smiled as best it could. Still, he was a dragon and even smiling he looked like he was ready to eat someone. He spied a tasty looking morsel of a troll. The troll was a fat one, fresh from his underground dwelling beneath the home of his parents. Larry swooped down to gobble up the smelly bastard.

It was then that disaster struck. The trolls had an ace up their sweat-stained sleeve. A mimetic catapult hurled a ridiculously overused image and words which were somehow meant to be clever at Larry. Caught unawares, the dragon was struck hard and crashed down to the cold ground of the battle. He struggled to regain his composure before the trolls overtook him. Then came the chants from the hoard. “FAIL!”

Queen Ashley could not let her noble ally be taken by the horrid, unwashed masses. She hurried to the deepest dwelling of the keep. There she came to her realm’s ultimate defense: the Supreme Tactical Electronic Vindication Engine. Standing before it she uttered the activation voice command “Hey there” and with a wink of her pretty eyes the behemoth came to life.

Rising up from the depths of the keep, S.T.E.V.E. the robot strode towards the battle. He was bright and shiny with flashing lights and waving arms. “WTF?!,” howled the troll hoard before S.T.E.V.E. scattered them with one swing of his mighty, slinky-looking robot arm. This allowed plenty of time for Larry to compose himself and once again take to the skies.

The mighty robot and noble dragon could not be swayed or deterred by the verbal barbs and incessant flames of their annoying foes. Queen Ashley retook her post in the high tower and looking down upon the scene of the trolls retreating to her dank dwellings with Larry and S.T.E.V.E. is pursuit. A smile played at her ruby lips as she uttered the cry of victory. “PWN’D!”

Sounds Legit!

We were working for a couple down at their beach house today.  Its no secret that the guy I work for has MS.  So, small talk entails, the Big Guy's health issues are inquired about.  Nothing unusual.  So the lady says, "Hey, I know this faith healer.  You should go see him.  He's really gifted."  She went on to tell him about a guy she knew who had MS and the faith healer got that MS virus right out of him.

Now, if you are about to jump shit over that last little bit, hang on, it gets better.

So she keeps talking about the faith healer guy with glowing praise, and finally she laid out that trump card.  The glorious personal anecdote that completely cemented her claim.

"I had herpes for years, and he cleared it right up!"

...

I do wonder what her husband thinks about this.

I wonder if he knows about this.

Phones

Lost my cell phone last night.  Re-traced my steps from the last place I know I had it, and did the same thing again today.  No go, Ninja Joe, so I had to go get a new cell phone.  I'm annoyed greatly by this.  

Keep in mind, the cell phone I had was bottom of the barrel, and only good for making phone calls.  Doesn't take pictures worth crap.  Worthless for texting.  I don't even bother doing anything online related with it.  Its about the furthest thing from a smart phone that you can get that's currently on the market.  And I got one pretty much just like it.  Looks about the same.  Slightly different display.  Oh well.

My old phone being lost meant of course that the sim card was lost with it and the few pictures that were on there are gone forever.  There were really only three pictures on there that I really liked.  There was a picture of a duck that came up to me on a job and stood there while I took a close up of him looking at me.  Never seen a wild duck be so comfortable with a person.  Second picture was from Tracy Snelling's "Woman on the Run" exhibit.  I really liked that one.  The last picture was of a tube of caulk, which I had because the color was Delorean Grey, and as such I had a portrait of Delorean Grey on my phone.

That's right.  I had an Oscar Wilde pun hidden in my phone.

Weirdly enough I somehow maintained all my contacts on the new phone without having the old sim card.  I thought that was what those things were for.  Not complaining, but I obviously know squat about cell phones.

As the customer service type person and myself were engaging in a hushed monotone tete-a-tete that was completely hilarious I glanced over her shoulder at a display for the Samsung Galaxy.  There reason it had a Fancy Dan display was that if you purchased said phone it came with The Avengers loaded on it.  So you could sit and watch the movie on the phone if you wanted to.  I asked how much that phone cost.  It was over $600.

I could buy a TV, DVD player, a copy of the movie, a chair to sit on and probably have enough left over for a Cherry Coke and popcorn for that much.  I informed my verbal dance partner of this.

"Sure, but you can't make a phone call with any of that."

I hate cell phones.  Yet, I need a cell phone.  

I'm convinced radiation from my cell phone with one day give me horrible ball cancer from keeping it in  my pocket.

Joe Bereta > Batman

If you've paid attention to pop culture-y type things you likely heard about flap over Media from the Pixar movie BRAVE getting a makeover.  SourceFed did a piece about it.

I like leaving comments on such things, and I did.

What have we learned from this? Always be yourself. Unless you can be Joe. Then be Joe.

 Joe of course being SourceFed host Joe Bereta.  My comment was quickly responded with an "Or Batman" from another user.  The implication of course being that if you could be either Joe or Batman you may want to be Batman.

"Balderdash", says I.

Joe Bereta is obviously the easy pick over Batman.  Now, before you go naysaying me and calling me a damn liar, allow me to present my evidence.

First, it is apparent that Joe has telepathic powers, or at least some sort of psychic rapport with fellow SourceFed host, Elliot Morgan.  That is the only way to explain this;

As we all know Batman has no telepahic powers, nor a psychic rapport with Elliot Morgan that we know of.

Second, Joe regularly does a segment called "Feelin' Good" in which he takes a look at news stories that are uplifting.

Last time Batman was feelin' good he had been dosed with Joker Venom.

Third, is Joe's professionalism.  Batman seems to lose his edge around beautiful women, especially Catwoman.  This isn't good!  She's a criminal!  And yet Batman can't seem to keep it together enough to bring her justice.  Then there's Joe who has to deal with not one, not two, but THREE drop dead gorgeous women on a daily basis!

If Batman had to be around Trisha Hershberger, Meg Turney, and/or Lee Newton for any amount of time, he wouldn't be able to remember his own name much less do anything productive.  Such is the mountain of self-control Joe possesses.

Forth, Batman has been the topic of much debate as to whether or not he could defeat Superman.  There is no such debate as to whether or not Joe could defeat Superman.  As such, Joe ellicits no fanboy ragegasms, thus adding to internet civility.

Fifth, this is Batman with a beard.

This is Joe with a beard.

Any questions?

Sixth and final, no matter what happens, no one and I mean NO ONE, can reboot Joe Bereta.

Movie Review: Ironman 3

SPOILERS WILL BE IN THIS PIECE, SO IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED SO DON'T COME CRYING TO ME.

Alrighty, I tried really hard not to get swept up in the hype surrounding this movie.  I was in fact a bit worried about the change in writer and director, but Shane Black has done movies that I really like.  I also was not really thrilled about the look of the new armor, but if my biggest problem is going to be something cosmetic like that, then I can over look it.

I really, really wish that was my biggest problem with the film.

I'm going to start positive.  Everyone brought great performances to their roles.  Robert Downey Jr. was again remarkable as Tony Stark and making it to the point where the character will be synonimous with him. Paltrow was lovely as always and was a great counter-balance to Downey's Stark, although I think the banter between Pepper and Tony was better in the previous films.  The kid in the movie was incredible and the scene with him and Tony were easily the highlight of the film.

Now here's where I tick off a lot of fans.

I was excited about one thing with this movie: The Mandarin.  They hinted at the character back in the first movie.  I was stoked to see that he was finally going to be the big bad in the movie.  We've established that aliens exist in the Marvel Movie-verse so have a baddie with alien tech in his rings could play beautifully here.  It could have even served as a bridge with GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY or even a little hint at something Thanos-y.  

No.

Its Ben Kingsly playing a druggie actor pretending to be a big bad.  Yes, the revelation was funny, but at the same time I felt so incredibly cheated here.  It was a brutal letdown and really soured the movie for me.

Now, here's where I'm a real nit picky douchebag.

Pepper somehow gets mad fighting skills and can perfectly aim a repulsor blast in the movie's climax when she couldn't do it before?  The Extremis thing made her a cyber ninja or something?  

Oh, and the Missus pointed out that the brain with the fancy pants brain projection, and the only time there was any sort activity was when the guy got pinched?  Really?  I'm not a neurology expert, but I think there's a lot of stuff going on in the brain all the time.

And why was charging the armor a problem?  Tony is walking around with an arc reactor in his chest which completely powered previous armors?  That made no sense at all.

And the ending.  The Missus said it felt like a wake, and she was right.  It was like the character was wrapping it up and turning in his armor.  Well, at least blowing up all his armor.  No more arc reactor in his chest either.  No wonder Joss Whedon was wondering what was he supposed to do with the character now?  It looks like Ironman is now retired.  They even said "Tony Stark will be back".  Not Ironman.  Sure that's probably done to get buzz going, but that's not the buzz I'd like to see.  

All the other Marvel movies have left me with a feeling of "that was aewesome and I can't wait to see what's coming next".  This one did not.  Instead of opening up new things with the Marvel Movie-verse, it felt like it was closing one of the books.

Not a bad movie, but it let me down really hard.

Unleashing the Beast

Allow me to share the mountain of self-importance that I currently possess.

The local alternative station 96X does a little feature on weekdays, "The 4:20 Buzz", in which they feature new music and listeners respond if they want it in rotation or not.  I drive a lot.  I don't have a working CD player or any other music player in the car.  Its radio or nothing so I have a definite interest in there being good music on the radio.  I started calling in to vote, and honestly I did not think my one vote would matter all that much.  The fellow that takes the calls, James Steele, took an interest in me after a referred to one song as "freaky strip club music".

Things progressed from me just calling and spouting off about the song of the day to the two of us chatting about music, radio, the alternative format and everything.  The station is 20 years old this year and I remember fondly being a college kid and having this station blow my mind.

Last Tuesday I asked "Hey, why aren't you guys playing "Beast" by Nico Vega?"  Most of you probably know this song from the BIOSHOCK INFINITE trailer.  That song is freaking perfect for the format on the X and I didn't just want to push it because it was a song I liked, but because I really thought it would do well on the station.  I mentioned it, and James made a note of it.  I did figure that the note would get shuffled off, because this guy is busy and gets bombarded with "play this song blah blah blah..." all the time.

Thursday night I get a message from him on Twitter.  He listened to the song.

Friday I get in the car to drive home.  One song was ending on the X and sure enough the very next song was "Beast".  I played it at horribly inappropriate volume, windows down, and head banging.  I called James.  He had gotten a message from the indy rep a while back about that song.  I got him to listen.  He contacted the rep and got an awesome version for the radio.  Starts out slow and bit folk-sy and then kicks your teeth in.

Even got a Tweet from Nico Vega. ":) xo nv"

Sometimes, really cool stuff can happen when you just open your mouth.

My Gran'dad

My grandfather passed away this week.  The service will be on Tuesday and the obituary will be in this Sunday's paper.  It'll read:

Mario Emanual Nozzarella, 86, passed away April 11, 2013. Born in East Liverpool, OH, on March 7, 1927, he was the son of the late Manuel and Zilea Nozzarella. He was predeceased by his wife of 64 years, Louise Nozzarella. He is survived by his three sons, Emanuel Nozzarella (Sandra), Mario Nozzarella (Bonnie) and Dwayne Nozzarella (Kim) and his daughter, Cynthia Herchenroder (William); seven grandchildren; seven great-grandchildren. The Family will receive friends at 10 a.m. Tuesday at Hollomon-Brown Funeral Home Tidewater Drive Chapel and a graveside service will be conducted Tuesday at 11 a.m. at Forest Lawn Cemetery with Pastor Steve Styron officiating. In lieu of flowers, contributions can be made to the Alzheimer's Association or Davis Corners Rescue Foundation. 

So that's him.  Or part of him.  Let me tell you a few things about a cool old man.

Most of us don't think of our grandparents as cool.  I always thought of my grandfather as a kindly, sweet old fellow.  Then I remember watching an old MTV show called FEAR in which young, fairly stupid 20-somethings would be in notoriously haunted places and have to complete tasks.  One such location was the U.S.S. Hornet, the most haunted ship in the US Navy.  I mentioned it at my grandparents' house, and and my grandmother looked to her husband, and said "You hear that.  He's talking about your Hornet."

His Hornet.

Damn right.

Gran'dad served in the Navy for twenty years.  I regret not asking him more about it.  I do recall seeing the picture of him in the hula skirt though.  Also heard a story about him getting a hit by a Jeep while in the service.  Well, it seems he sort of hit it back as when he determined getting out of the way wasn't an option he shoulder-blocked it.

He thought the world of the Missus, and was quite happy that I settled down with a Navy girl.  Him and Meagan would sit and chat away for hours if you let them, and I wish I could get the picture of the two of them dancing at our wedding out of the album.  Unfortunately, I can't dance nearly as well as he could.  He loved his great-granddaughters as well.  Dad brought him over to the house and at that time the girls were very shy around my father and would hide from him.  They didn't have that problem with Gran'dad as they quickly ran up to him with great big hugs.  Dad wasn't sure why, but I pointed out that kids know who gives out the five dollar bills.

Of course he borrowed those five dollar bills from my dad, but that's beside the point.

We did have some good quality time.  Like when Gran'dad, Dad, and myself had a nice Father's Day dinner at Pargo's.  The restaurant was giving free ties to all the fathers that came in, so they got theirs.  This was long before I had kids, but sure enough Gran'dad sweet talked the waitress out of one more tie for me.  We pondered when we should show off our matching ties, and with my cousin Ashley's wedding impending we decided that would be the perfect time.  So I show up with my Pargo's tie.  There's Dad, and sure enough he left me hanging.  No Pargo's tie.  Then Gran'dad got there and no Pargo's tie on him either.  "Et tu, Gran'dad?", but with a smile and a wink and revealed that he had the tie tucked neatly in the inside pocket of his jacket.  I'm pretty sure Gran'ma vetoed the tie.

To say my Gran'dad enjoyed golf a bit is like saying I talk about comic books a little bit.  They say that golf is how you ruin a perfectly good walk.  Well, to Gran'dad that perfectly good walk was a waste of time if you didn't have your clubs with you.

As he got on in his life his memory began to fail him.  He spent his last few years in an assisted living facility, which was very nice.  The transition wasn't the smoothest one as we were told visiting wasn't a good idea until he really got settled and used to staying there.  There was even a couple of reports that he attempted to escape.  About a week after I was informed of this, this picture landed in my inbox.

That would be Gran'dad at Hooters.

I have an elaborate fantasy as to the details of his escape.

But lastly in regards to me: I am a nerd.  Not one of you tourists who think you're nerds because you watched THE AVENGERS five times in the theaters.  Oh no.  I can tell you who was the best man at Spider-man's wedding.  I can drone on endlessly as to why Batman is an important literary figure.  I still have my Marvel Super Heroes lunch box from kindergarten.  I can tell you about how Ironman's armor used to have a roller skate feature.  Quads.  Yeah, you read that right.  Ironman rocked quad skates!

And how do I know that last bit?

Because there was a little table next to Gran'dad's chair, which typically held a few magazines and that day's newspaper.  I was three, maybe, and in with those magazines was a FANTASTIC FOUR comic and an IRONMAN comic.  To this day I don't know if he had those for him, or if he knew his first grandson would like them.  I still have them both.  First two of thousands.  

Thanks, Gran'dad.  I love you.