The She Shed

Victor's marriage with Sheryl had been what many would consider typical.  They had a nice house in the suburbs.  They both worked.  Their marriage had it's share of ups and downs as all marriages do.  There were things he didn't notice at first.  Things he thought was normal.  

He saw less of the his friends over the years.  The guys he had known since high school who he always enjoyed grabbing a beer with.  Victor was not sure when those get togethers stopped.  He noticed that his supply of beer was not getting replenished unless he bought it himself.  He did not drink often, but did enjoy a cold beer when watching football or after a long day of work.  There always seemed to be a good stock of wine around though.  Sheryl had no qualms about offering him a glass.  Drinking wine while watching football did not feel right.  It did feel right when watching reality television with Sheryl.  Victor was not sure when the Bachelor took presidence over the Steelers. 

Victor would work in the yard to pass the time.  Getting outside was a nice escape.  Victor kept his tools and lawn equipment meticulously placed in the shed in the back yard.  Everything easy to find and ready to be used.  Of course, he did not all the tools and equipment all the time.  It took a while to notice things were missing.  Sheryl claimed to not know anything about it.  When the lawnmower was suddenly relocated to the garage and a little coffee table and chair replaced it in the shed Victor realized he had lost that space.

Victor's items, the ones he could still find, ended up in the garage.  Much of it boxed up.  The house had acquired more items that were either scented or not to be touched.  Victor spent his days at work, and would promptly return home to try to touch as little as possible while Sheryl sipped wine and watched America's Got Talent.  He had to return home quickly or Sheryl would call his cell phone and ask him why he was not home.  Victor loathed traffic as even a five minute delay would trigger a call.

He found himself going to bed earlier.  He felt tired all the time.  After a robust dinner of salad that Sheryl had prepared for them because it was healthier Victor turned in early.  His sleep was often troubled, but leaving the bed in the middle of the night might make Sheryl ask him why he was not comfortable sharing a bed with her.

It was that restless sleep that led Victor to discover Sheryl's absense in the dead of night.  He rose up to look for her and that led him to peer out of the window and see the light coming from the shed.  He saw Sheryl sitting down there alone.  He did not ask her about it the next morning.  

The following night was the same.  He became senstive to her slipping from the bed nightly.  Every night it was the same.  Every night she would go down to the shed.  Her shed.  Victor would be back in bed by the time she returned.  He noticed a faint scent on her on her returns.  The faint smell of pumpkin spice.

Victor felt himself becoming more sluggish and tired as this went on.  He figured it was the interrupted sleep as he could not help but get up after Sheryl went out back to watch her.  Every night, the same thing.  

The shed had been completely redecorated.  It only ressembled his old shed in structure.  Now it was the centerpiece of the back yard.  Victor could not help but feel his stomach sink whenever he was near it.  After seeing himself in the mirror and seeing the sunken man looking back at him, he knew he had to do something.  He was waiting away.

Victor investigated the shed when Sheryl was having brunch with her friends on Saturday morning.  It took everything he could muster to step inside of it.  The scent of spices and herbs was overpowering.  He stumbled and his foot shifted the rug on the floor.  That's when he saw them.

The sigils.  The strange arcane symbols.  They looked like they were almost pulsating.  He knew then.  He was wasting away as Sheryl was becoming more vibrant and happy.  

He had to destroy it.  It was either the shed or him.  He knew Sheryl could be home at any time.  Vicotr rushed to get some gasoline from the garage which he used to store in the shed for his lawnmower.  He doused the inside and lit it.  He had hoped it would be completely destroyed by the time Sheryl returned.  He was not so lucky.


It was not long before the shed was rebuilt.  It was nearly identical to as it was before.  Victor was defeated.  He knew he was doomed.  He walked the small dog Sheryl had bought herself to comfort her with the burning of the shed.  He walked the neighborhood and looked at the yards.  It started out as only a few at first but the number grew.  More sheds.  Victor noticed more men walking small skittish dogs as well.  They were all walking, hunched over, drained.  Victor would meet the gaze of their hollow eyes.  He was desperate to try to connect with any of them, to try to figure out how to stop this.

It never happened.  Sheryl would not like it.

Captain Marvel: review

CAPTAIN MARVEL hit theaters last week, and I finally made it to the theater to see it.  The theater was not packed, but there were plenty of people there.  I've heard claims of some showings being completely empty, but with all the things being said about this film, everything has to be taken with a grain of salt.  So, let's get with it.

I have to start with the Stan Lee tribute at the start of the film.  It was perfect.  Just as his cameo was in the movie itself.  His appearance got a reaction from the audience as one would expect from people seeing pictures of a dear, departed grandparent.  And yes, I did choke up a little.

As for the movie itself, it was alright.  I wouldn't put it in the dead bottom of my list for MCU movies.  It wasn't unwatchable, but it was also took a bit for me to stay in it and go along for the ride.

My problem was Carol.  I do understand that this is a character that is being told and trained to keep her feelings in check.  Unfortunately, Larson's portrayal came off really wooden.  I cared about the plot, but really was not sold on the character in the film.  This is a bummer because I like Carol Danvers in the comics.  There was a pretty big overhaul concerning her origin story, but it works well.  A lot of it was that I never felt the character was in any real danger.  She was really powerful, and then went on to be super-duper powerful.  Also, we never really get much emotion from her when memories come back, and she learns a bit more about her past.

As for the nitty gritty of the film, the story is pretty solid.  Nothing ground-breaking, but had enough intrigue to keep me from zoning out.  Some of the humor fell really flat and came off as awkward when you have aliens using phrases that one would expect from a human, not a creature from another planet.  The fight scenes boasted plenty of action, but unfortunately much of it was hard to follow.

I did like the soundtrack.  I came of age in the 90s, so much of it was right in my wheelhouse.  The bit exception was the use of No Doubt's "Just A Girl" in one of the big fight scenes.  It took all the potential edge off the fight, and I suppose they were going for campy, maybe.  It was really cringe-inducing though.

I guess I should address the cat.  Everyone loves the cat.  The cat is cute.  My kids love the cat.

Where the hell did the cat come from?

I'm dead serious.  It's an alien just wandering around Project Pegasus with NO EXPLANATION WHATSOEVER!!!

And how did little Monica figure out how that change the color of Carol's uniform so quickly and intuitively?

I'm finding that the more I think about the movie, the more annoyed I get.  So, I'm just going to let this one rest, and wait for AVENGERS: ENDGAME.  I could have done that anyways as this movie does not tell me anything that I really need to know going into the next film aside from Carol Danvers is Captain Marvel and she's super powerful.  That's literally all you need to know.

It wasn't terrible, but I have no desire to see it again.

Captain Marvel Incoming

Marvel's latest offering is heading out way, and unfortunately there's controversy around it.  I've been busy and unfortunately by the time said controversy came onto my radar, both camps had dug in and gone full retard making up all sorts of weird stuff.  It boils down to the lead actress, Brie Larson, having some concerns about things possibly not being inclusive enough.  Some study was brought up.  A few things probably could have been worded clearer, but unfortunately that's more than enough for battle lines to be drawn.  Larson has clarified things, and I was going to see it anyhow, but it did kinda damper my excitement for the film.  Early trailers were kinda lackluster.  Too much time was spent by the press focusing on the feminism aspects.  Not enough was spent trying to get everyone excited.  Marvel has recently put out a lot of great behind the scenes stuff that has really caught my eye in a good way.

It is way too easy to get caught up in the pointless bickering, and I was guilty to buying into the articles and headlines that has a vested interest in keeping the fight going for the sake of views.  The main concern I have is that any legitimate criticisms that may arise from the film will result in the person voicing said criticism as "sexist".  I've had a few people online claim my dislike for BLACK PANTHER is the result of some sort of weird latent racism on my part.  This is ridiculous, of course, and a symptom of the current culture of "everyone who doesn't agree with me must have some sort of terrible character flaw".  With the movie still yet to be released however, we'll have to wait to see how it turns out.

There are a couple of issues that I have seen brought up online that I do want to address: "Carol Danvers is a c-list character" and "Captain marvel is a white guy".

Captain Marvel is indeed a white guy... if you're talking about the DC Universe.  Actually, I'm pretty sure that they are just referring to him as "Shazam" now to avoid confusion.  In the Marvel Universe, Captain Marvel hasn't been a white guy for decades.  The character was killed off about 40 years ago.  When I was a kid reading comics, Captain Marvel was Monica Rambeau, a black woman and really cool.  She was an Avenger, part of the SECRET WARS event back in the 80s.  The character is still very active and now known as "Spectrum", and still very cool.  Carol Danvers took up the title a few years ago and currently uses it.  So, it makes sense that the current version of the character is what will be featured on screen. We're still hoping beyond hope that people may watch a superhero movie and then actually buy a comic book.  One day, it may happen!

Now let's address the "c-list" bit.  This seems to be stemming from people trying to shoehorn Captain Marvel in being Marvel's answer to Wonder Woman.  Wonder Woman is a trinity character.  She is the direct representation of one of the three key aspects of the superhero genre in the DCU.  In the Marvel Universe, that particular aspect (science fiction) is represented by Ironman, and I don't think anyone is going to be replacing him any time soon.

So, Carol isn't a trinity character, but "c-list"?  No.  This is a character that has been around for decades.  My first exposure to her was in the pages of THE AVENGERS.  It was right around #200, but fortunately not that particular issue because holy crap how did that weird story make it past editorial?  Seriously, I'm old and jaded, but I even I read that thing and said "This thing is problematic".  She was still Ms. Marvel at the time, but not for long because a few years after I discovered her character, the battle with Rogue happened, and Rogue stole her powers.  This was a huge deal, because Carol spent years without her powers.  We've seen those stories where a character loses their powers only to get them back a few issues later.  This went on for years.

She was still active though.  Years later, Carol received a new power set and became Binary, and went off to have awesome adventures in space.  She has since regained her old power set, as well as the Binary power set.  She was known as "Warbird" for a while and recently took the title of Captain Marvel.  She's currently a member of the Avengers and head of Earth's defenses against alien threats.  So, she's a big deal.

This brings us to the problem: this character is at her best in a group dynamic.  Her solo titles have struggled a bit.  Meanwhile, her tenures in THE AVENGERS, THE ULTIMATES, and GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY have always been really cool.  This isn't a bad thing.  Some characters just work better under those conditions.  In this regard, she's top notch and definitely an asset for writers to use to play off of other characters, and great for beating the crap out of baddies and blowing stuff up in dramatic fashion. 

So why feature her in a solo film?   

With the Thanos saga winding down in the films, the MCU is going to need a new direction to explore.  This film may give a few clues as to what's to come with more of the Kree explored and the introduction of the Skrulls.  Also consider, Ant-Man is also in the group of best on a team, and the movies of that character were both really great.  Carol's also a character that's fully realized and while she started in relation to Marvel's original Captain Marvel, she's moved up to make the title her own.  There is a market wanting woman led superhero films.  Many fans have really wanted a Black Widow film (I'm definitely among them), but with the character's popularity, Marvel seems to be taking their time wanting to really get it right.

Ultimately, we hoping that its a good movie.  I've been keeping my expectations low in hopes of being really pleasantly surprised.  We'll see soon when it hits the theaters.

Impromptu Short

This is a brief piece I did spur of the moment on Twitter in response to an online friend's tweet.

Once upon a time... in a video arcade... the year was 1983...

Amid the glow of the neon lights and flicking screens, he saw her. Her hand moved frantically over the track ball as the other pressed the fired button rapidly. He placed his quarter on the rail on the Centipede machine and watched her.

Her movements were rhythmic as she played, a steady sway to the music of the machines collected there. If she was aware of his presence next to her, she did not betray it. Her focus was purely on the destruction of the glowing, animated insects on the screen before her.

Another level cleared, her green eyes, shining with electric reflection, darted up to the score. The top score was within striking distance. "You got this." He offered to encourage her. She said nothing as she opened fire on the next wave of creatures.

A crowd had begun to form around the machine as the collective consciousness within the arcade sensed a high score in danger. He had a front row view of her spitting profanity and giving the finger to a virtual spider that cost her a valuable life. She earned another soon after.

"Come on" she muttered to herself as the score drew near. His gaze drifted from the screen to the desperation twisting her alluring features.

The score fell to her skills to the cheer of the assembled crowd. "YES!" She cried out in a tone that burned into his mind and which he would forever use as the gauge to measure the true satisfaction of a woman.

Her focus wavered for a moment costing her another life. The assault of sprites was relentless, but she was determined to put an exclamation point on her victory. Her breathing was labored and her legs shook a bit. Her run finally came to an end.

The adrenaline high of victory was already subsiding as she entered her initials on the leader board, "QTX". She turned from the machine to the applause of the crowd. His quarter on the rail deemed his turn was next by arcade etiquette. But she was walking away.

He snatched his quarter off the rail and pursued her. He lost her briefly in the flickering lights and flow of gamers moving through the arcade. He found her sitting at a table with her plush lips pursed around a straw as she slowly sipped a Tab Cola.

He paused for a moment, unsure of how to approach her. The TV mounted on the wall next to the snack bar provided a soundtrack of MTV videos. He hoped for a song to give him just the right music to make his attempt.


"Hold me now" by the Thompson Twins came on and he knew there would not be a better time. He walked over to her. "Great game." He managed to make audible over the music and the background noise of the arcade. "I know." She replied with a knowing smile, looking him over.

He asked if he could join her. She pushed the chair across from her out without saying a word. He sat down and struggled to think of what to say hoping to not sound stupid. "You only come up to me because of my Centipede skills?" She asked baiting the hook? "Yes."

He couldn't bring himself to tell her how pretty she thought she was. He could barely manage to tell her anything. So, she asked the questions. She handled him as she had handled the trackball, smoothly and putting him in all positions she wanted him in.

He forgot about the quarters in his pocket. He forgot about getting home before his parent's curfew. He forgot to tell her he was a junior high school student and was tall for his age. She forgot to ask.

Eventually, she asked him about classes. The truth came out. She was leaving soon for college. She smiled at him again knowing she would have to crush his infatuation. But he was sweet. And he seemed kind. She stood up and told him to do likewise.

He stood nervously before her. Her green eyes pierced his young soul. She moved to him. Leaning in, her soft lips pressed to his cheek. In his utter shock, he barely felt her soft hand expertly slipping into his pocket.

She pulled back and smiled. Her hand slid smoothly out of his pocket and she held a shiny quarter between her fingertips in front of her lips. "Consider this on my rail. You'll be ready to play one day." She left, and he returned to that arcade every weekend afterwards.


Netflix IRON FIST review

OK, let's do this. There's been a lot said about this series even before it came out. The character was created in 1972. He's a kid who got stranded in the montains after a plane crash left him the sole survivor and was taken in by monks who taught him Kung-fu.




There's a ton of people upset that the ethnicity of the character was not changed from white to asian for the show. These people are at best in need of a real problem to be concerned about and at worst racist. There are plenty of people who have gone to Asia, learned martial arts, and become quite good at them. I'm living proof. To insist that a character be asian because they become a kung-fu champion pushes a nasty stereotype. Quite often those are making these complaints rave of the virtues of multiculturalism; but upon seeing someone they don't approve of based solely on their skin color benefitting from being immersed in and benefitting from a foreign culture, scream 'cultural appropriation'. 

 Now that the stupid part is pushed aside, let's look at the show. Yes, there will be SPOILERS. You've been warned. Also, this is going to be more of a book report in that if you want full explanations of who all these characters all WATCH THE SERES! 

 Its a thirteen episode slow burn. It doesn't rush, because with this story, you can't. Our hero, Danny, has returned to New York all grown up trying to figure out what it is to be Danny Rand again. Everyone believes he's dead and it takes quite a bit of effort to convince people he is who he says he is. His childhood friends run the corporation that their fathers started. They, Ward and Joy, are understandibly sceptical because Danny is worth a ridiculous amount of money. Danny, to his credit, is more concerned with helping people and getting his life back than he is about the money. 

 What follows is an incredible web which is just a beauty to watch play out. This brings us the theme of the entire show: manipulation. 

 From Merriam-Webster: manipulate: to treat or operate with or as if with the hands or by mechanical means especially in a skillful manner 

 Quite appropriate that the foes Danny faces throughout the series is The Hand. The Hand first popped up in Netflix's Daredevil series and was featured prominently in season two. In Iron Fist we see a lot of their inner workings, especially as Danny tries to fulfill the mission he was given: to destroy the Hand. That's only part of his problems in that everyone he encounters, with the exception of Claire, is either a manipulator or a pawn. 

 The bottom keeps dropping out from under Danny and the viewer during the series. Every time you think you have a good handle on how this is going to play out and where everyone stands you get a new bit of information that changes everything. 

 Hands are a powerful motif that repeats over and over throughout the series. The hand being the name of the organiztion Danny is facing. You see a hand print on Harold's window when he leaves his confinement and they let him know they are watching. Harold later slices off a finger showing subservience and his lack of influence within the hand. His finger returns showing that he still has quite a bit of power and influence upon his return. At his lowest when Ward is in need of drugs he injures his own hand thus showing his lack of ability to control himself and others. That lack of control is quickly evident when he fails to get the drugs he wants. A handprint is necessary to enter Harold's penthouse. Danny's hand getting shot in the final battle as he's desparate to clear his name stop Harold, only to be fully healed once he comes to terms with himself and the path he's on. Showing of handprints let's you know you're being watched. An injured hand shows a character losing their power. Healing of a hand shows a return of their power and their control (either over themselves or others). 

 There's all these little pieces that make this so delicious. The sale's women manipulating people into buying their drugs. All the insults Danny is subjected to in hopes of making him angry and controlable. The entire challenge match Gao sets up is completely about control. She even manipulates the outcome. Gao is fascinating here in that she's just as manipulative as eveyone else but she's honest about it. Truth can manipulate as much as any lie when truth is controled. And the name of Colleen's dojo, "Chikara". Translated from Japanese it mean "power", "capability" or (pay attention) "influence".  Also, for a nice subtle one, the kata that is being practiced by the group inside the compound when Danny is being shown around is named Seienchin which means "to push or pull in battle" or "control".

 The show is worth the ride for the brilliantly executed themes and motifs alone. Add in really great performances from the entire cast and so excellent fight sequences and its a definite winner. Its not a front to back kung-fu action piece. The action is earned and not gratuitious. The fight scene themselves get more and more interesting and intense as the series progresses. 

 And I'm going to make a quick note here about the "hallway fight". The original hallway fight was in season one, episode two of Daredevil. Its an amazing piece in that it firmly tells a story and is down without cuts, meaning you maintain one camera shot and its done in one continuous take. Its insanely difficult. They did it again in season two. Since then, people were trying to see "hallway fights" in later series Luke Cage and Iron Fist. They aren't there. Just because a fight scene takes place in a hallway does not mean the writers and directors were going for something as grand as they did in Daredevil. 

 Bottom line: while I hold Daredevil as the high water mark of Marvel's Netflix shows, Iron Fist is right behind it. Its smart television with great performances. Definitely worth your time to watch.

Pokémon GO Survival Guide!

Pokémon GO got released to the public last week.  If you saw what seemed like more people than usual walking around with their cell phones out looking down at the screen, there's a go chance they were trying to catch 'em all.  The game uses the phone's GPS and real world locations to play.  You go to landmarks to get items or battle in Pokémon gyms and the creatures pop up all over the place.  My wife snagged three Pokémon in a McDonald's drive thru.  The game is a lot of fun, but it makes you get out in the real world, so you have to be careful.

Here's a few tips for you.  Yes, many of these should be obvious, but a reminder never hurts.

People's property is their property.  The game tells you there's Squirtle nearby: YAY!  But its in someone's back yard: uh oh.  As tempting as it may be, it not a good idea to go roming through other people's yards and such in your hunts.  That person might be completely cool with what you're doing, but the neighbors might get nervous.  Best case is you get to explain the game to new person, possibly a police officer.  Worst case: crazy neighbor person comes out with shotgun.  Fortunately, the radius in the game for catching Pokémon is pretty wide so if a critter is in someone's back yard, you'll probably be about to snag it from the sidewalk.

When going out at night to play the game, remember that you are going out at night.  Wear some bright colors.  And like the song says: nothing good happens after 2 AM.  That guy on the corner might not be out hunting for a Zubat.

Look where you're going!  Seriously.  A little situational awareness goes a long way.  There's already been people bumping into each other and running into walls.

Go out in groups!  While this is a good safety tip, it also makes the game a lot more fun.  Go out as a family.  Find a buddy.  We hit a Pokéstop (place to get items in the game) at a park over the weekend.  There were about a dozen of us there playing the game.  Most everyone had a buddy with them.  Everyone was friendly and having a great time.  It was a blast.  On the flip side there's been a case of criminals staking out Pokéstops waiting for players who are out by themselves to rob them.  This gets back to being aware of your surroundings.  Also traveling in groups does cut down on the chances of being confronted by a potential mugger or worse.

Remember your common sense.  Its a neat idea, the thought of going on an adventure to play this game.  But if you're out somewhere and thinking about checking a spot that may not be safe.  Remember, its just a game and you'll have other chances to snag that particular Pokémon.

All that said, I think the game is really great.  There are a few risks involved, but there's always a risk when heading out your front door.  The fun and exercise you'll get out of playing the game do outweight those risks.  So head out, have fun, and be safe!

Captain America: Civil War REVIEW

For those of you who have followed me for a while, you know I think the CIVIL WAR comic book was horribly written and one of the worst things Marvel ever put out.  Why that comic has gotten any praise at all from comic book fans baffles me.  It utterly screwed up the dynamic of the Marvel trinity.  It had main characters acting horribly out of character.  And the fall out from it was ridiculous.

Need a quick overview of the book, watch this.


Ok, got all that?  Cool.  Now on to the review.

PAST THIS POINT THERE BE SPOILERS, AND POSSIBLY DRAGONS, SO DON'T GO CRYING TO ME ABOUT RUINING THE MOVIE OR GETTING CHAR-BROILED!!!

Everything the comic book did wrong, the movie did right.  The book had Cap and Tony at each others' throats over a difference of opinion about government oversight on superheroes.  That element is indeed at play in the movie, but there is so much more at play here.

This is a revenge story, and a really good one.  All these little twists keep going to bring about the ultimate result of the movie.  The fanboys who love the comic have been wanting to see Captain America and Ironman kick the ever-lovin' crap out of each other, and guess what, that's exactly what the main villain wants too.  

Let that sink in for a moment, you people who wanted to see tension between these characters and wanted them to beat each other up.  

Tons of manipulation, all these little moments that seem to be a bit pointless in the film, come together to form this nasty web that catches our heroes.  And the great thing here is that it allows each of the characters to stay true to themselves and we don't have idiotic things like Cap acting like a zealot and Tony recruiting super villains after all the heroes realize he's being a douche.

In fact, Tony is the main target of the manipulation.  I have to wonder if there's scenes that had to get cut revealing the mother of the slain college student was a plant working for Zemo and that the explosion early in the film was somehow rigged.  That isn't crucial to the film, as it could just be our villain waiting for the perfect opportunity to spring his trap.  He's a patient one.

So, we have an excellent plot that greatly improved the dreck that was the comic.  On to the movie itself.

The performances were great top to bottom.  There's been a lot of buzz about Spidey and Black Panther, and how great they were, and its warranted.  Everyone had these wonderfully juicy moments, and it all meshed together so nicely.  It's a very well balanced script, and while we have a dozen superheroes running around its clear that this is a Captain America film.  That's hard because Robert Downey Jr. is always amazing as Tony Stark, but Chris Evans holds his own so well as the stanch moral rock of the movie.  

Here's the hing about Captain America: he's right.  He's the character that is when given all the possible choices is always going to make the one that's going to help as many people as possible.  So, when asked if you're TeamCap or Teamfillintheblank, if your answer isn't TeamCap then you need to probably reconsider your position.  And Evans absolutely nails it without coming off holier-than-thou.

My only problem with the movie is how some of the fight scenes were shot.  I hate shakey camera work and I hate quick action cuts.  That's how sloppy fight choreography gets covered up and it doesn't look like these scenes were sloppy fight choreography.  Let me see the moves and not risk motion sickness, please!

There was plenty of funny bits to keep folks entertained, which is good.  There's a lot of really heavy and dark stuff going on in this story.  Marvel knows when to lighten the mood without coming off cheesy or cheapening the story.  They're also a bit self aware, especially in regards to Marissa Tomei who many people have said is way too young and too hot to play Aunt May.

The trailers for this movie were really misleading on the lot of points.  Lines were cherry picked to make it seem like Tony and Cap were really not liking each other at all.  They left me wondering how two people who are indeed friends could have that much animosity over a difference of opinion on an issue that's pretty much just political.  Once everything gets put in context with the movie it makes so much more sense.  And for those who say, well there was that animosty there back in the first Avengers movie, you're refering to scenes in which all the characters were at each others throats due to the Mind Gem being in the room, so stop, you're embarrassing yourselves.

Bottom line: I went into this movie with a lot of apprehension, and am now releaved that that Marvel managed to make this story happen without it being the utter trainwreck that the comic was and having all of these heroes coming out of it with us as viewers still being able to see them as heroes.  Did the villain win here?  Some may think so, but the final scenes in the film let us know that when the time comes, the Avengers will assemble once more. 

A-DAY PLUS #3

That's right, issue 3 is finally here and I'll be shipping copies out this week.  For ordering information e-mail me at d.cnozz@gmail.com 

Bad nerd!

Hello, my name is Marty, and I am a bad nerd.

This not a good time to be a bad nerd.  There's all these nerdy things all about us in various media.  I have many nerd friends (people I only know on the internet still count as friends!), and they're all very excited.  I can't go on much of any social media without seeing something about recent nerd movies/TV shows/ whatever or one of the same coming out this year.

And I just don't care.

And this is troubling to me!  I'm not trying to be Hipster Nozz over here!  I wish I was excited about all these things that're coming out!  Aside from the Marvel Netflix stuff and some of the comics I read nothing is really getting me stoked.  Its really depressing.  Not totally terrible of course.  I still have The Walking Dead comic, and a lot of the Marvel stuff since the re-launch has been a lot of fun.



However, much of what a lot of people seem to be excited about doesn't appeal to me.  And its weird in that much of it has gotten so mainstream that the people I know who aren't really part of the "nerdcore" see it, like it, and think of me.  "Marty must be really excited by all of this!"

And I'm not.  Let's review my bad nerd credentials.

* I hate the new STAR WARS  movie.  I really do.  Its not a bad movie.  Its very well done.  I wasn't terribly excited about going to see it.  The Missus wanted to check it out, so we went.  If you haven't seen it yet I'm going to dance around a spoiler as best I can.

If a fictional character that I have loved since childhood, one that was the epitome of cool for me as a kid, and my favorite thing in that entire fictional universe, gets horribly murdered in a film, I'M NOT GOING TO LIKE THAT FILM!!!  That's the only thing I think of in regards to that movie.  All the other stuff has just become a grey haze to me because of that one part.  I'm seriously to the point where I want nothing to do with STAR WARS because of that one thing.

There's no logic behind it.  Its purely, 100% emotionalism.  The last thing that really had me vested in the franchise got bumped off, and with that I've out grown STAR WARS.

* I hate THE DARK KNIGHT.  This is not news to those who have followed me for a while.  The movie that a lot of people hail as the most amazing Batman movie ever, I rank it right down with BATMAN AND ROBIN.  It was a great Joker movie, but made Batman out to be a two-fisted moron with Morgan freeman there to do all the heavy thinking for him.  I found it just hard to watch.

And unfortunately it started a trend with Warner brothers to which ever Superman got very grim and gritty.  MAN OF STEEL  looked like something I needed to keep my children away from, and like the brilliant writer Greg Rucka put it "Any Superman movie that you can't take your kids to isn't a good Superman movie."

So, no I'm not excited at all for the SUPERMAN VS BATMAN movie.  Ben Affleck does look like he'll make a great Batman, but I have no interest in a movie which Martha Kent tells Clark he doesn't owe the world a thing.  In these movies, Ma and Pa Kent are the worst parents ever.  And honestly, I don't feel like going to a movie to watch two superheroes I like beat each other up.  Go fight a villain.  You've both got plenty of them.

Which brings us to...

* CIVIL WAR.  Damn it all anyways.  Why?  Why on earth do people praise that comic?  Its terribly written.  The artwork is really nice, but the book portrays Captain America as being a freaking nut and not much better than the Punisher.  And ever since then Ironman has been a almost a villain with no one really trusting him.  Now, we've had a reboot and Ironman is really awesome again!  But now there's going to be another CIVIL WAR comic which pits Ironman against Captain Marvel.  Yes, the Captain Marvel that's going to be getting her own movie in a couple years.  We couldn't go six months since SECRET WAR in which everyone got along and fought bad guys?

Oh and the movie?



OK, let's take two characters that we've been made to like and put them against each other.  And that last scene with Cap and Bucky being the crap out of Ironman was disturbing.  They looked like a couple of bullies.  This may well be the first movie that Marvel studios puts out that I full on avoid.

* Speaking of Marvel movies: screw DEADPOOL.  I hate that character.  I'm annoyed by his rabid fandom.  I'm absolutely stunned that a movie actually got off the ground and fully expect this thing to flop, because I think more people will just illegally download from somewhere instead of shelling out the bucks to go see it.

* SUICIDE SQUAD.  Yeah, concerning that: I've taken all of my f--ks and put them in a time capsule which is not to be unearthed until well after I'm dead because i won't be giving any of them.


Fortunately there's still so good nerdy TV for me to enjoy.  I really wish LEGENDS OF TOMORROW was going to be on on a night that I won't get home until after its over, but those are the breaks.

There's all these things out there that people are going to be buzzing about.  It'll likely come up at shows when I'm trying to sell my comic, and I'll smile uncomfortably and make some excuse about not finding time to go see it, but I'll catch it of DVD, and hey, let's talk about my book.

Its very frustrating.  I want to enjoy these things, but its just all so wrong to me.  I'm having people who didn't start out nearly as nerdy as me knowing a lot more about some of this stuff than I do.  I've gotten pretty good at smiling and shrugging my shoulders over it.

I will say this, its kinda tough when the stuff everyone's so excited about bums you out.

Not my Captain America?

The new Captain America comic came out last week and its caused a bit of a stink.  For those who haven't been keeping up, Steve Rogers, the original Cap, no longer has the Super Soldier Serum in him and has aged.  He chose a successor, his friend and long-time partner, Sam Wilson, the Falcon.  There was a bit of a flap about Captain America being black and diversity running amuck, but for those who have followed the comics and characters for a long time, its actually pretty cool.  Sam Wilson is a great character, and if someone had to step in for Steve Rogers I think he's the best choice.

Now the new comic is out, and its written by Nick Spencer.  I like Nick Spencer.  I think he's a really amazing writer.  I was excited to see what he;d do with the character, and then I read the issue.  Things started out great.  Sam is kicking butt and taking on Hydra goons and Crossbones.  It a lot of fun.  Then we find out that everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. is ticked at him and so is a good chunk of the public.

And its the reason why where I think Spencer has made a big mistake.

Spencer acknowledges that Steve Rogers kept his politics to himself as much as possible.  He stayed out of partisan squabbling.  I really like the quote that Hickman gave Cap when he was being told his values and ideals were archaic.  His answer was "I don't judge people's lives, I save them." And that's just awesome.  Captain America makes the right choices even in the toughest of situations.  He's an ideal, and I think that's a lot of the ideal of America.  Doing what's right, even when its hard.

But Sam Wilson doesn't seem to be reflecting the ideal of America, but more of the reality of America.  He's come out on certain sides of issues, and its ticked off people who don't agree.  This is so very disappointing.  I saw Sam being Cap and being a minority as a step forward and we can judge characters and people by the content of their character and their actions.  I had hope.  I had hope that Sam, like Steve, would stay above politics and just be a force for good.

Instead I see the like of "You're not my Captain America" which reminds me of those who say Obama "is not my president".  There's other parallels between Sam and Obama in the book.  Its funny because there was hope for him too.  Instead our president has focused on the divides in this country and pushing his side of things.  I really don't want to see Sam go down that same road, but that's kind of how its looking it'll go.

The latter part of the book has Sam coming in to stop people from harming illegal immigrants.  That's good.  Captain America should be stopping those who would harm people unable to defend themselves.  But at the same time, these are people who are willfully breaking the law, and I'm doubting Sam is going to tell them that what they are doing is wrong.

I follow politics, and its a tiring, soul crushing affair.  I read comics to life my spirits and often inspire me as they did when I was a kid.  I used to want to be a good, upright, moral man like Captain America.  Now Captain America saddens me.  It looks like just one more thing that's been sucked up in the political game of demonized and mocking anything or anyone that doesn't agree with you.  Its even to the point that we're being presented characters in this book like Phil Coulson and Nick Fury Jr. who are heroes in other marvel books but are here shady individuals that we shouldn't trust.

But its only the first issue of this run.  Perhaps Sam will learn that he's not Captain Democrat, Captain Republican, Captain Conservative, nor Captain Liberal.

He's Captain America.  And I hope he's one I can admire and respect as much as his predeccesor.

Don't go lion to me! I want the TRUTH!

News has broken in Africa that Jericho, the brother of the now deceased Cecil the lion, has been killed by hunters.  Authorities are looking into this, but so far the "hunter" in question has not been found.  This whole thing reeks of a cunning plot.

Seriously, first a lion gets killed and now not long after, his brother is killed?  There's no way this is a coincidence.  Those lions knew something.  That dentist is obviously a patsy in this whole thing.  The ones behind this obviously have something on him and photoshopped those pictures with him and lion.  I mean come on.  There's only one dentist on the planet that I know of that could kill a lion, and he was well accounted for here in Chesapeake.  

I think perhaps these lion know what's really going on with those Holistic Doctors that have recently turned up dead.  A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing, and with learning the identity of the holistic serial killed those lions sealed their own fate.  And now they're being used as a distraction to keep our eyes off the ball.  

Its working well.  People are more concerned with a couple of lions that they never knew nor cared about a couple weeks ago than the ghoulish videos making the rounds about Planned Parenthood.  And had any of you heard about those doctors before I mentioned it?  

Nope!

Because you've been hoodwinked!

By lions!

Which are supposedly dead, but have any of you even seen the bodies?  

Its obviously a Government cover-up.  Obama was recently in Africa, which was a convenient cover for him to bump off those lions to distract everyone from those doctors' deaths.  Those doctors obviously weren't down with the ACA, so they had to go, and the distraction from the Planned Parenthood grossness was an added bonus.

Give it week and Obama will come out and say that if he and Michelle had a cub it would look like Cecil the lion's cub.  Those lions are really alive and have been relocated to a protected site.  That dentist is going to burn because he wasn't down with the ACA either and rumor has it he's part of the eeeeeeeeeeeeeevil 1%!  So, he's getting shipped out of here. and he better keep his mouth shut or his family with get the same.  Or possibly worse, someone might say they saw a picture of someone in his family watching an episode of the Dukes of Hazzard and call for their immediate execution!

And now since I've obviously had enough of watching/listening/being-fucking-bombarded-with the "news" I'm going to go watch My Little Pony with my daughters and get ready to love and respect the shit out of some poor bastard.

Here we go!

I've been busy.  First off, the Zanshinkan demo team has scored a big win at the Battle of the Seven Cities.  Congrats to them for busting their butts and sealing the deal!



The second issue of A-DAY PLUS is chugging along.  If anyone is interesting getting some copies: shoot me an e-mail at d.cnozz@gmail.com and I'll give you all the ordering info.

And I'm promoting it!  If you want to hear me ramble on about the comic and other fun stuff, Ryan and Pooya had me over for the FadCast over at FilmFad!  Had a blast, and hopefully I don't come off as too nervous, because this was a first for me and I seem to have a real problem talking with a microphone in front of me.

Also, I'm going on my "SHUT UP, THIS IS FREAKING LIBRARY TOUR"!  I'll be over at the Portsmouth Public Library for their Mini-Con on June 27th, and following that up with appearing over at Chesapeake Public Library for FantaSci on July 25th!  I may also be doing a panel at FantaSci on a Literary Look at the Superhero Genre, but I'm waiting to here back on that. 

All this, Teenage Mutant Ninja Camp next month and work, work, work.

(Do note, that Teenage Mutant Ninja Camp, is the fourth in our series preceded by Ninja Camp, Revenge of the Ninja Camp, and Ninja Camp 3: The Domination.)

Curse you, Hickman!

For those of you who haven't been following Marvel Comics, there's a massive event going on.  SECRET WARS kicked off this month and writer Jonathon Hickman, is really taking things next level.  He's been building up to this story for years with his runs on AVENGERS and NEW AVENGERS.  This is going to be the event that reboots the Marvel Universe.  

I picked up the first issue in which pretty much everything and everyone was destroyed.  Only a handful of people made it out.  It was brutal.  The proper Marvel Universe and the Marvel Ultimate Universe collided and destroyed each other.  We're left wondering where could be go from here.  Thankfully, we did not have long to wait because Marvel released the second issue the following week.

Unfortunately, I was unable to pick up that issue because I was picking up my own comic book, A-DAY PLUS, from the printers just in time for the recent Tidewater Comicon.  For those who aren't familiar with my current project, four apocalyptic events occur within a 24 hour period.  Chaos and stupidity ensue.  I got my books but had no time to get to Comic Kings to get my weekly fix I comics, including SECRET WARS #2.

Fine, I went the following day to get my books.  They had sold out of SECRET WARS #2, but marked me down to get a copy the next time some came in.  They did have a fancy pants variant cover one, but I figured I could wait.

Tidewater Comicon came and went.  I debuted issue 2 of A-DAY PLUS, and that went well.  I go in the following week to get my comics, and still no second shipment of SECRET WARS #2.  I finally got my hands on a copy yesterday.  I read it, and was really into it... until... we get to the Shield.  

The Shield is a massive wall which separates the relatively sane parts of Battleworld from the horrible parts.  What's in these horrible parts?

Zombies.  Robots.  Horrible creatures.  Replace the buggy Annihilation Wave for something more squidy, and add in some homicidal flying saucers and this gets really damned familiar!

Beyond the Shield is A-DAY PLUS.

Of course, its obvious what has happened here.  Its not uncommon the two different writers come up with really similar ideas completely independently of each other.  In fact it happened to me a few years ago on MERE MORTAL back when I was writing that to the point that someone thought another writer was attempting to rip me off, which it turned out not to be the case.

So the truth is obvious.

That Hickman fella got a hold of my first issue and was so blown away by it, he had to work it into SECRET WARS.  Now, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery aside from showers of cash, and I'm truly honored that he would think so much of my comic that he would so blatantly copy it for his current project.  However, he has not asked my permission to do so.  Not even a friendly hit up on Twitter like, "Hey, mind if I rip off your comic for Secret Wars? k thx"

As such, I'm going to boycott SECRET WARS until I get an apology for Hickman and Marvel comics, or until the next issue of SECRET WARS comes out!  Whichever comes first!

Indiana versus Bandwagonaggedon

Hey!  Guess what!  There's a state called Indiana!  Have you heard of it?

If the answer is "yes" then you've been paying attention to things, which is good, but you've probably been lied to, and that's bad.  There's been a big stink about the state passing a Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA).  Some folks think it opens the door to discrimination towards gays.  That's completely false, but the people making the claims are really loud, so despite facts and stuff they must be right.  Right?

Well, no.  If you have any questions about the RFRA, HERE is a great article breaking the whole thing down.


Now, if you're wondering why this law got passed to begin with and doesn't the First Amendment of the Constitution already cover that, good for you!  Here's the skinny, around 1990 the Supreme Court made a ruling that really took the guts out of the First Amendment.  It set things up so the if Compelling State Interests came into conflict with Religious freedom, the scales were tipped way to heavily towards the State.  There are times when a State's Interests should trump Religious freedom.  

Example: if your religion calls for human sacrifice the State can stop you because of that whole murder being against the law thing.

But the 1990 case created a problem and everyone got together to fix it.  Religious groups, the ACLU, and many secular groups got together to create the Federal RFRA which Bill Clinton signed in 1993 as one of his first acts as President.  Balance was restored and everything was great.

Then it was interpreted that the Federal RFRA only applied to Federal Laws and not State laws in 1997.  Since then 20 States have passed their own RFRAs including Illinois which Barack Obama supported when he was State Senator, and Virginia which current Governor McAuliffe must not be aware of since he's been taking a couple of jabs at Indiana.  Also note that the link provided about the State RFRAs does reference the current situation in Indiana but also states that these laws have NEVER been used successfully to discriminate against homosexuals.

So, why is there a problem with Indiana?  Its been a perfect storm if ridiculousness.  I wrote before about White Knights who run about the internet typing away for their causes.   It seems the Tinfoil Hat Brigade merged with the Magenta Lantern Corp and seeing the law only through the prism of one issue created a whole conspiracy theory around it.  I do wonder if the Governor that passed it had been a Democrat if there'd be the same fuss.  I doubt it.  The false narrative is set that Republicans are bigots.  Then along come the Latter Day Atheists banging their drum that religion equals bigotry.  So we had one target that all three groups of nutters could focus on.  Then a bunch of other people jump on board because it fits with their person narrative of how the world is despite facts to the contrary.

Of course the irony here is that all their screaming just shows who is really prejudiced.  (Hint: they're the ones doing the screaming.)

And now the Indiana Governor has to react because he has people running around upset because they've bought into a lie.  This could have been avoided if people would have read the bill and done a little research instead of just giving into knee-jerk emotionalism.

Moral of the story: do your homework.

Its all over for Marvel.

There's a big battle brewing for Marvel, and its not just a Super Bowl wager.  Marvel is counting down to a new Secret Wars event which will in turn lead to Marvel rebooting its continuity.  This, of course, has lead to much wailing and gnashing of teeth from fans who are quite reboot weary.  The weariness comes from DC Comics being on their, I think, fourth reboot at this point.  This has a lot of fan looking sideways at this and there's still a bit of a bitter air about DC's last reboot which has gotten mixed reviews.

Let's break this on down.

For those new to this concept, a "reboot" is a resetting of the continuity in a fictional world.  This sounds crazy on the surface as one would wonder why you want to ignore stories and risk alienating long time fans.  People spent time and money reading these stories.  They're invested.  But now that investment doesn't matter?

It does matter, but there's a case to be made for reboots and they are necessary on occasion.


WHY SHOULD THERE BE A REBOOT?

* If there is confusion as to continuity.  I'm not just talking about a subject in the continuity that someone can read up on.  If the question is "What happened to Mister Awesome?" and the answer is "Well, this happened to him.  It was in (insert title of storyline here).  You can check it out in (name the trade or the issue numbers here)." then you don't have a problem.  However, if the question is "What happened to Mister Awesome?" and the reply is "Do you mean the main Mister Awesome, the Extreme World Mister Awesome, or the one from the other dimension that's currently being Mister Awesome while Mister Awesome is presumed dead but is really lost in the multiverse with a genetically altered chinchilla?" there may be cause for concern.

* You're planning on incorporating something you've acquired into your main continuity.  Companies merge.  Each have characters that would work great together.  Parallel Earth team-ups are starting to get played out, and it time to properly get everyone in the same sandbox.

*Time has marched on.  If characters have a specific tie to a specific ear they can get dated, and that gets awkward.  Superheroes tend to have fountain of youth going for them, but even that fountain can't explain away a disco inspired wardrobe for a character that couldn't have been born in the 70s.

DC'S REBOOTS

DC rebooted everything in the mid-80s with their CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS.  At the time DC had a lot going on.  Their main characters existed on "Earth 1".  Their Golden Age characters existed on "Earth 2".  Captain Marvel and his buddies had their own Earth as did Blue Beetle and the characters he shared a world with.  That's a lot for keep straight.

So, they had one big event to bring everything together.  George Perez drew just about every character DC every had at some point.  Its a classic story, and well worth reading.  

But the relaunch had a couple of flaws here and there at to the new continuity.  Its a huge undertaking with multiple creative teams that really need to be coordinated with each other.  So, years later DC released ZERO HOUR to try to smooth over some of these issues.  The whole point was to try to streamline things, and it worked for the most part.

Characters moved on and the Silver Age heroes passed torches to a newer generation.  Unfortunately, some people didn't like that and they somehow ended up being in charge.  There ended up being more changes which culminated in FLASHPOINT and THE NEW 52.  This went down because the powers that be at DC wanted their Silver Age heroes back in the saddle and Jim Lee could now bring in his Wildstorm properties over.  It hasn't gone very well. There was an initial sales bump, but  things are waning.  

The reboot just seemed too forced, and the execution on the follow up was kind of haphazard.  Also, some real fan favorite characters got written out.  Fans of Stephanie Brown or Wally West were left shrugging their shoulders.

WHAT'S UP WITH MARVEL?

There's been a lot brewing with Marvel as to build up to SECRET WARS.  Jonathan Hickman's runs on AVENGERS and NEW AVENGERS have been leading up to this directly.  The storyline has been really great.  I haven't felt this gripped by a storyline since Morrison's Batman epic.  The real question is: why is Marvel rebooting everything now?

Marvel released an alternative "Ultimate" line of comics years ago, and they've been a success.  The continuity for the main Marvel Universe and the Ultimate universe are different, and both have their merits.  In fact the Marvel movies have drawn from both as source material.  There's also been other alternate realty stories that have gone on and there's some fondness for some of the characters that have appeared there, but not in the main continuities.

Remember what I said above about why you should consider a reboot?  Marvel is there.  If you ask about Captain America, you're needing to be more specific.  Also, let's look at the Punisher and Ironman.  Those are two characters who have their origins linked to America's adventures in southeast Asia.  Punisher is a Vietnam War veteran.  So, that would make him around 60 now.  Nick Fury is in his nineties easily.

Time has moved on, and some things are needing a polishing.  So, this reboot I'm all for.  

WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE

Yeah, everyone else has sounded off, and I'm following the herd.  Moo.

* Ironman being more hero and less villain.  Seriously, he's been shady as hell since that awful CIVIL WAR comic.  It would be nice to put all that behind us and have him back as a proper hero.

* Miles Morales and Nick Fury from the Ultimate universe being in proper Marvel.  These characters are well liked and interesting.  There's plenty of room for them.

* Cyclops not being creepy and Jean Grey not dying over and over and over again.

* New Universe stuff!  Hickman worked the White Event into his line and its was an interesting take on things.  That and I have all the old PSI-FORCE comics and I still think Wayne Tucker was cool.

*That One More Day business being gone forever and ever.  Seriously.  That was just dumb.  I'd even be cool with resetting Spidey back to his high school days.  

* Deadpool not existing.  Yeah, I know that's not going to happen.  I just don't like Deadpool.

That's pretty much it.  I think we've got some really great writers over at Marvel right now, and they'll do a great job with the relaunch.  Just as long as they don't make it a habit.

Mixed feeling on 2014

Its weird for me looking back on last year.

On one side there people going apeshit and screaming "racism" about everything police do to the point that officers are getting threatened and two were murdered.  Never mind the staggering amount of evidence showing no racial components about the two big incidents and so much cognitive dissidence that one has the wonder if the "hands up, don't shoot" people were shipped in from a parallel dimension.

We lost a lot of really talented people in entertainment, and while it doesn't seem terribly important in the grand scheme of things, these were people who made a lot of people laugh ad feel great good with their performances.  The world could really use Robin Williams right now.

We wrapped the year up with that horrible tragedy of people losing their loved ones with a plane crashing into the ocean.

It just seemed like bad news, following bad news, following people can be really stupid, followed by bad news.

On a personal note: everything is freaking great.

Seriously, I had a pretty awesome year.  I put out a comic funded by a successful Kickstarter.  I got promoted to 6th degree black belt and got made a renshi.  I managed to stay employed and the family is still eating and have a roof over their heads.  I got a lot of blessings this year.

It actually leaves me with a feeling of guilt.

A lot of people want 2014 to go away and never be heard from again.  I want to kick as much ass this year as I did last year.

Ultimately, it boils down to a personal level.  I can't change the fact that tragedies happen.  I can't make people stop listen to idiots like Al Sharpton and those who would incite people just for their own personal gain.

What I can do is keep putting out content and hope people enjoy it.  I can keep teaching karate and hope that my students benefit from what I teach.  I can try to be positive even when things suck.

So I'm just going to keep calm and make comics/do karate/keep working.

Because its what we can do that matters.